Legion World Forums LEGION COMPANION The Anywhere Machine Family Issues

Yeah, good advice.

If you need to vent to someone, Sarky, a counselor is the way to go.

Thanx, you guys.

Yesterday my mom got a call from a cousin of my dad's, Steven, or Stephen. I don't know how his name is spelled. He told her that separating from my dad was one of the smartest things she's done. He also told her not to worry about my aunt who has "always been evil".

Also, from my DA journal:

I mean yes, there are plenty of times I get obsessed with something and, to varying degrees, I go over the top with how I express said obsession. But then, after a few days, or weeks, I gradually lose interest and latch onto something else. But for that amount of time I completely whore out whatever it is I'm obsessing over and shove it into everyone's face. New pieces of acquired commissions or con sketches, new stories, pieces of art done just for me, a new book or a good grade. And the ones I don't shove into someone's face. Little tidbits of comic history or some book that was never published, a song that I look for in what I perceive as "forever", listen to repeatedly and then forget about, or even parts of video games that are supposed to be secret or have no explanation, like that weird gate with Gruntilda's face in Mad Monster Mansion that just doesn't open and you can't get around.

And times when I get swept up into something on the basis of morals. Such as the Bring Back Lian Harper movement. I haven't lost any interest in that and remain fully dedicated to it, but, yeah, there are times when I question if it can succeed or if what we're trying to do is right when there are so many other problems in the world. Like this whole "show your purple" thing. Yes, I wore a purple shirt on that day, and I wore one today as well. I would've worn it yesterday as well but I couldn't find one in time for school. But people only do it AFTER six people killed themselves, and they only wear purple for one day and forget about it, as my brother points out. I've been wearing a breast cancer awareness ribbon ever since I got it on Monday every day when I go out in public. But how long until I forget to put it on one day and that's it? And my over-eagerness when it comes to talking with other people turns into annoyance and I wind up saying or doing something rather insulting or frustrating.

I've been thinking about my birthday in December, and trying to think about getting my Christmas shopping done but with what money? I have more people to shop for so I need to start saving. But, I do more obsessing over what I myself receive, and, maybe one of the reasons why I tend to go somewhat overboard during that holiday (besides my way to express thanks for being able to put up with me) as to try and create a sense of fairness. I can't expect a million things and give barely nothing in return. That wouldn't be fair to others. It'd be insulting.

I'm not trying to sound depressed or whiny. Just trying to do a journal entry that has some more thought put into it other than "the test was easy".

So, since I can't remember the exact date but know it was a Saturday after my mom's birthday, it's now officially a year since their marriage began to dissolve.

I just want to thank you guys for everything so far. I just wish I was talking to you guys about it earlier, like when I had to help my dad up the bathroom floor when he had a panic attack. Of course, that was in November, but still.

And I hope to fully express my thanks soon.

Sarky, life can be rough. It's only the human connections that can make it bearable at those worst of times.

Too true.

I can't

After my mom apparently annoyed my dad with a water bill he said he was cutting off my mom. I mentioned how he only gives her like, 400 a month, which is pretty much about the same she's spent on books for me for college. We got into an argument. I revealed to him how I've been talking about him, mom, and brother on here because I got sick of him always vilifying mom because of how she talks about him on facebook.

He threatened to have me banned from the nursing home and then threatened to have me arrested if I showed up.

If it wasn't for my Aunt Chrys there, I don't think I would've apologized and told him I loved him.

He talks about how mom has stripped him of everything. I left early.

I love him, I do. I just, I hate him. I hate him so very much. He talks about we make him out as the bad guy, yet it's always about him. He fails to see what this does to my brother and myself.

And he always says how he doesn't know what to do anymore.

I hate him.

hate and love are strange bedfellows indeed, yet they always seem to dance together.

he may likely feel, in his own strange, distorted way, that somehow he is the one who has been wronged. The human mind can rationalize anything.

Yet in so lashing out, I think it shows on some level that he sees his own self-guilt (by that, I mean the guilt he heaps upon himself). It is all about him because he beats himself up over it.

If is a tragedy that life in this society is so reliant upon monetary payments, even within a family. Yet as difficult as things are for you, my friend, sometimes the only way to true healing is to find a way to walk away from it all, even if that means hefty student loans for you.

You might need to be in a place of complete financial separateness from him, in order to move past the (quite natural) resentment of his apparently fickle sense of responsibility to you and your mom. Only when you can mentally separate yourself (and possibly in the process, your mom) from his finances might you be able to stand as an independent, look him in the eye and calmly but firmly tell him you have escaped his control-game, and will deal with him only on your own terms.

anyway, that is my off-the-cuff feedback; you have to live with it, and I certainly respect your choice of methods in handling things. I do not walk in your shoes; I can only tell you what your shoes look like from this side of the screen.

best wishes.

My mom has been unemployed for less then a year, I don't even know if she's tried looking for another job.

"I haven't been able to do anything other than sleep or waste time because of an argument on Friday involving my father saying he was cutting off my mom after some bull about a water bill. I had to leave work early because I couldn't stand being around him, and I still can't.

I haven't been to the nursing home in two days. I can't focus on anything. I can't read or write or even get through a video game fully. I have a ten page memoir due and I've only done six pages, it's hard to write about when life when I have to include my parents in them. I also have to finish reading Utopia, a book on the Holocaust, and another book for a presentation on Tuesday (which I'll have to ask for an extension on).

The only good thing I have to worry about is my birthday, and even that's looking dim. I've still got no reply from the guy I've inquired if he's available for a commission, but he's probably busy. The truth is the only actual thing I want is for that pitch to get through, but that's as bleak as ever.

The sad thing is I pretty much have to deal with my dad so my brother doesn't, he doesn't deserve that. But he plans on going to the nursing home with me tomorrow to give dad a piece of his mind. This is where I have to draw the line with both my parents, but I'm pretty sure I'm just saying that.

I, I don't want to go to my mom's boyfriend's house for Thanksgiving. At least, I think I don't. I don't know what I want to do about anything.

I don't want any more of my father's desparate pleas for attention or any of my mom's excuses about how hard it's been for her. I don't care if she's not as bad as my dad and how much she's willing to do for the house and Christmas and my birthday, nothing's worth this and nothing my brother and myself have done warrant this. And my Grandpa, he's the only real family I've continued to have in this besides brother and all I do is either get annoyed with him or ignore him.

Nei's in Virginia. I think Professor Thompson is still in Pennsylvania. Guys, what should I do?"

I'm so sorry I keep not knowing what to do with the advice you guys give me, but, I don't know what to do. There's nowhere I can really go, and I've said this before but I can't leave my brother and my grandpa. They don't deserve to have to deal with this.

I flipped my father off in public.

I, I have officially reached the lowest level that they have stooped to at one point.

Thanksgiving actually turned out okay.

We went to my mom's boyfriend's place on Wednesday and came home Friday evening. At first I was uncomfortable not because of her boyfriend but because of my mom and the entire "thing" I've been in since last Friday. But, the first night there, the environment was so relaxing and comfortable. I'd been in the best mood I'd been in for so long. The guy remembered to get liquid coffee mate for my brother and I remembering we hate the powder kind, and he only met ME once.

Then on Friday morning I learned my dad left me a message on my cell phone telling me my "services are no longer required". I call and says "I chose Anthony" and "we all make choices".

I think it makes a nice statement that he remembered something like that, a little thing maybe, but something that would please you and your brother. That's cool.

Guys, am... am I a good person?

Am I?!

20 minutes on a message bioard during the weekend is not nearly enough time to ex[ect a response Sarky. This is the first I saw of this post.

From everything that I see, yes you are a good person stuck in an impossible situation. You try to be everything to everyone, and trust me, you cannot be. You'll end up your whole life trying to please everryone and not doing things for yourself/.

What really matters is not what we think. Do YOU consider yourself a good person?

And if you tell yourself, "No, I don't consider myself a good person." then the next step would be to pinpoint whichever behavior gives you that opinion of yourself and then try to flip it.

But no one is perfect and no one ever will be.

You seem, as best I can tell, to be a GREAT person who has to deal with the same old life-bullcrap we all did. Difference between you and a lot of us is, most have us have already emerged from that life-bullcrap tunnel through to the other side, where things look so much better.

You just have a bit more tunneling to do. Keep at it, Sarc.

The fact that you're even asking that question suggests that you can't be that bad.

I'm sorry you guys, I just, had a very bad argument with my dad. I've been asleep for the last few hours.

My brother had a panic attack after talking to my dad over the phone. Then started crying after another call.

Guys, I've got a sore throat. Mom's going to try to make a doctor's appointment but it might mean I'd miss more school.

I wonder, I make excuses saying that stress of dealing with my parents is why I have a hard time concentrating on school, and me being sick. But, am I just using those for convenient excuses?

I'm just, not sure what I want to do anymore. School, work, parents. The only thing I am still sure of is that I want to write and I want my pitch to go through.

Maybe I'm bi-polar myself.

Children of bipolar parents are at greater risk of developing bipolar disorder than the general population -- not by that much, though. The correlation is pretty low. Here are the stats:

"Studies report rates of bipolar disorder between 4% and 15% in children with one bipolar parent, compared to 0% to 2% in the offspring of parents who don't have the disorder. And if both parents are bipolar, rather than just one, a child is about 3.5 times more likely to develop the condition."

More common for children of bipolar parents are anxiety related disorders, ADHD and sometimes PTSD. Any of these could contribute to difficulty concentrating in school. A simple psychiatric evaluation would be the easiest way to find out. You can get a referral from your primary care doctor.

My mom is trying to schedule a meeting with a psychiatrist through a social worker.

your school might have one for free. when i was at school we got like six free sessions. there should at least be an advice line you can call in case of an emergency. should be able to be determined from the school's website.