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Author Topic: Worst jokes EVER!
MLLASH
bite into the all-caps
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How do you get a witch pregnant?


Fuck her!

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Visit the FULL FRONTAL FANDANGO & laugh along with Lash at http://lashlaugh.wordpress.com/
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MLLASH
bite into the all-caps
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Why can't Helen Keller have children?


Because she's dead!

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Visit the FULL FRONTAL FANDANGO & laugh along with Lash at http://lashlaugh.wordpress.com/
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Sonnie
mere mortal
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did you hear about the dyslexic man who walked into a bra?
From: home sweet home... unless i'm posting from work | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
lil'rhino
I love everybody & you're next!
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A young girl was sitting in a barber shop by her mother's side, eating a twinkie, and awaiting a haircut.

When her turn came, she brought her twinkie with her to the chair and the barber covered her.

Soon, she pulled out the twinkie for a bite.

"You're getting hair on your twinkie!!" the barber playfully warned.

"Yes, I know," replied the girl, "and I'm getting boobies too!!"
From: elizabeth,nj | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Anita Cocktail
*hic*
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Why did Oprah Winfrey cross the road?

To eat the chicken!
*hic*
From: Gorilla Nebula Pub | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Anita Cocktail
*hic*
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A horse walks into a bar & the bartender says, "Why the long face ?"
*hic*
From: Gorilla Nebula Pub | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
minesurfer
Member Standing Proudly
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What's brown and black and looks good around the neck of a lawyer?

A doberman.

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Something Filthy!
From: NOVA by way of NOIN | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
He Who Wanders
Light on my feet.
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A string walked into a bar and ordered a drink. The bartender looked at it and says, "We don't serve strings in this bar." Dejected, the string turned and left, but returned a few minutes later.

"I'd like a drink," it said.

"I told you, we don't serve strings," the bartender bellowed.

Upset, the string went outside, twisted itself into a knot and mussed up the top of its head. It then went back inside the bar.

"I'd like a drink," it said.

The bartender raised an eyebrow and said, "Are you a string?"

"No," was the reply. "I'm a frayed knot."

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The Semi-Great Gildersleeve - writing, super-heroes, and this 'n' that
From: The Stasis Zone | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Sonnie
mere mortal
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what's black and white and can't turn around in a lift?

A nun with a javelin through her head
From: home sweet home... unless i'm posting from work | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Faraway Lad
Senator of the UP. Permanent Ambassador to the Court of Saint James
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Whats starts green but turns red at the flick of a switch.


A frog in a Liquidiser [Confused]

[ July 18, 2003, 04:40 AM: Message edited by: Faraway Lad ]

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Faithfull
From: Newcastle upon Tyne England | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bevis
Feeling nostalgic
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What do you call a cupboard full of lesbians?

A liquor cabinet.


What do you call a gay man with white eyes?

Full.


What's blue and taps on the glass?

A baby in a fish tank.


What's brown and taps on the glass?

A baby in a microwave.


And now for a couple that aren't quite as offensive as those...


What's red and sits in the corner?

A naughty bus.


What do you call a man with a mountain on his head?

Squashed.

He he he he

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Truth and Justice shall Prevail!
(Unless Tamper Lad Screws it up...)
From: Manchester, UK | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Loser Lad
Stressed
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quote:
Originally posted by MLLASH:
Why can't Helen Keller have children?


Because she's dead!
I LOVE Helen Keller jokes!

How'd Hellen Keller burn the side of her face?

She answered the iron!

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The LMB Archives
From: The Loser Cave | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Loser Lad
Stressed
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How'd she burn the other side?

They called back!

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The LMB Archives
From: The Loser Cave | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Anita Cocktail
*hic*
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Why does Helen Keller need both hands to masturbate?

One to twiddle, the other to moan.
*hic*
From: Gorilla Nebula Pub | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Sonnie
mere mortal
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I met this sweet dutch girl last week who wore inflatable shoes. I phoned her up and was going to ask her out on a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs!

[ July 31, 2003, 01:30 PM: Message edited by: Sonnie Boy ]
From: home sweet home... unless i'm posting from work | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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