This is topic Nasty Genie in forum Spaceopoly at Legion World.


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Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
I got the idea for this game from todays Bizarro comic. A man rubs a magic lamp and says to the genie "I want to have enough money to last the rest of my life!" The Genie answers "Granted! You have one week to live."

So to play this game, the poster makes a wish. The next poster technically grants the wish, but with a twist so that the wish is thwarted or results in unexpected consequences. Always start the response with "GRANTED!" After granting the wish, you get to make the next wish. The goal is to make a wish that can't be thwarted.

I'll start out with an easy one:


I WISH I HAD A MILLION DOLLARS

[ October 21, 2005, 12:44 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
 

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Posted by Caliente on :
 
GRANTED! 1,000,000 Confederate dollars for you -- enjoy 'em.

I wish I could not do work and get A's in school.
 

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Posted by Calybos on :
 
Granted. "A" for Absent, every single day you're goofing off.

I wish I could control people's minds.
 

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Posted by DrakeB3004 on :
 
GRANTED! You are now responsible for making sure everyone gets to work on time, remembers to eat (and how to eat), go to the toilet and generally get on with their day to day.

I wish to put an end to this thread
 

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Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
 
Granted! That little loose thread in your shirt that's been bothering you has now been cut.

What, you meant THIS thread? Sorry, I'm done granting wishes

I wish I had a copy of every issue that the Legion has appeared in.
 

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Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
 
Granted! You now own every issue of Marvel Team-Up that the Legion has appeared in!

I wish I could speak German fluently.
 

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Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
 
Granted! You are now Adolf Hitler.

I wish I had a real, working, Green Lantern power ring.
 

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Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Okay, I missed a few there.

Granted! You now have a real, working GL Ring. The charge just ran out. Did you want a battery too?

I wish I had all the powers of all the members of the Legion.

[ August 06, 2005, 11:33 PM: Message edited by: Rockhopper Lad ]
 

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Posted by legionadventureman on :
 
GRANTED!

I wish i could get more people to read my Saga of Three Worlds before everybody loses interest
 

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Posted by Disaster Boy on :
 
granted, everyone read it and hates it.

i wish i could dance like destiny's child in their lose my breath video.
 

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Posted by DrakeB3004 on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by legionadventureman:
GRANTED!

I wish i could get more people to read my Saga of Three Worlds before everybody loses interest

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quote:

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Originally posted by Disaster Boy:
granted, everyone read it and hates it.

i wish i could dance like destiny's child in their lose my breath video.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:
]I wish that there is never another story about Britney Spears in the newspaper or on TV ever again.

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Granted, all Britney news will now be written into the Legion of SuperHeroes by her new publicist, Mark Waid.


I wish I had no more worries.
 

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Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, all your worries have come true, so now you don't have to worry about them.

(edited when I thought of something better or would that be worse?)

I wish I could look like an Abercombie & Fitch model

[ August 08, 2005, 09:53 AM: Message edited by: Quislet, Esq. ]
 

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Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
 
Granted! The brand-new look for Quislet, Esq.:



If you had to be turned into a wristwatch, I think the Heuer Abercrombie and Fitch model was a good choice. You're now quite expensive, you know.

I wish I could predict the weather accurately.
 

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Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, you now look like an Abercrombie & Fitch female model. Oh, and by the way, you are now black & white, and two-dimensional, just like a print model. Stay out of the wind!

I wish I could be the real Santa Claus.

[ August 08, 2005, 10:38 AM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
 

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Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
For Eryk, since you beat me to the last one.

Granted, you may now predict accurately what the weather will be 1 second into the future.

I wish I could be the real Santa Claus.
 

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Posted by Chaim Mattis Keller on :
 
Granted, you now live in Smyrna, Turkey, during the fourth century CE.

I wish the Royals would win the World Series.
 

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Posted by Caliente on :
 
Granted! The Royal Families of the world bond together and win the World Series in 2392. You, unfortunately, don't live to see it.

I wish that my date with a boy named Ali on Tuesday goes really well.
 

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Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, The date goes well for Ali who meets the love of his life while you are in the restroom.

I wish that I could draw like joeboy
 

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Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted. Here is joeboy's ATM card. You may drawn on the funds in his account.

I wish Quislet were in my office right now to do my work really well for me.

[ August 08, 2005, 12:54 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
 

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Posted by Disaster Boy on :
 
graaanted. quislet does the work so well you are fired and replaced. you walk the deserts destitute.

i wish i could motivate to get some work done today.
 

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Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, you have the motivation to get some work done, but it is all work that won't earn you any money.

(BTW, I think Semi wouldn't mind getting fired)

I wish I was more together.
 

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Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, your hands are permantly glued together.

I wish San Francisco had nice warm sunny days and cool nights all year round.
 

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Posted by Stratum on :
 
Granted. San Francisco is not located in the Sahara Desert.

I wish that my wish could never be fulfilled.

Jamie
 

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Posted by Tamper Lad on :
 
Your wish is granted, however I will also grant you a new wish. That which you must use to make the same exact wish of me in 24 hours.

While you are stuck in the recursive algorithm,

I wish for a rewarding career that pays me well enough to have a wife 30 years younger than me when I'm 50.
 

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Posted by Stratum on :
 
Can you even fulfill my wish? Either way...

Granted. However, she takes you for everything you're worth in the divorce leaving you destitute.

I wish for World Peace.

Jamie
 

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Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
 
Granted! The upcoming nuclear war wipes out all life on Earth, and then there's peace!

I wish politicians were honest.
 

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Posted by Caliente on :
 
Granted! Their honesty destroys the worlds governments and all nations plummet into anarchy.

I wish my landlords changed the rules so I could have my dog living with me.
 

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Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, your landlords change their rules, however, your dog runs off with Ari and the love of his life.

I wish... I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner
 

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Posted by Tamper Lad on :
 
Granted but instead of everyone being in love with you. You are sold to a bunch of PETA activists who use you in one of their demonstrations.


I wish I knew what to do with my life.
 

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Posted by legionadventureman on :
 
GRANTED! Your dog now lives with you!

But you have to feed your landlord every single night for the rest of your life
 

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Posted by Calybos on :
 
"I wish I knew what to do with my life."

Granted. You DID know, but now you've forgotten.

I wish I had a ham sandwich on whole wheat, with mustard and onion.
 

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Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
 
Granted! You had a ham sandwich on whole wheat, with mustard and onion, but you misplaced it!

Shall we keep this up?

I wish for humans to make peaceful and friendly contact with intelligent aliens from another star system within the next ten years.
 

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Posted by legionadventureman on :
 
Granted!

Humans have made peaceful and friendly contact with intelligent aliens from another star system...

But the message was intercepted by Russian illegal immigrants with science degrees!
 

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Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
legionadventureman, you are supposed to make a wish in order to keep the game going. Here are the rules:

So to play this game, the poster makes a wish. The next poster technically grants the wish, but with a twist so that the wish is thwarted or results in unexpected consequences. Always start the response with "GRANTED!" After granting the wish, you get to make the next wish. The goal is to make a wish that can't be thwarted.
 

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Posted by legionadventureman on :
 
Okay, okay....I know you mean well, but give me a break, dude!

I wish i could be lucky in love
 

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Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by legionadventureman:
Okay, okay....I know you mean well, but give me a break, dude!

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quote:

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Originally posted by legionadventureman:

I wish i could be lucky in love

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quote:

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Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:

quote:

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Originally posted by legionadventureman:
Okay, okay....I know you mean well, but give me a break, dude!

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Actually, I did give you a break - 4 of them to be exact. Not one of your four posts followed the rules of the game. I figured you weren't clear on the rules and was just trying to help.

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quote:

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Originally posted by legionadventureman:
Okay, okay....I know you mean well, but give me a break, dude!

I wish i could be lucky in love

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quote:

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Originally posted by Disaster Boy:
i really wish i didnt have to get a root canal tomorrow. really.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Harbinger:
I wish I were taller!

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Granted! You suddenly start developing the largest wart ever recorded on the top of your head, granting you an extra two inches of height!

I wish all of existence would simply end and never come back.

[ August 14, 2005, 12:12 PM: Message edited by: DrakeB3004 ]
 

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Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted, existence ends and never comes back but you're not here to see it.

I wish apples were oranges.

[ August 14, 2005, 12:21 PM: Message edited by: Blockade Boy ]
 

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Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted. Descartes was right when he said "Cogito ergo sum", also translated as "Je pense donc je suis" and "I think therefore I am". You are no longer able to think and therefore you are not.

I wish someone would discover in 2006 how to bend space and time in order to travel to other solar systems.

[ August 14, 2005, 05:21 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
 

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Posted by Harbinger on :
 
Sure, no problem, pity that someone is under the control of the evil flesh eating Xhhhuji of Mellllac 7 and they are bound to invade any day!

I wish I had more money!
 

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Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! They do so and they take the secret with them when they go, they like where they end up and decide to stay.


I wish I were built like one of the humanoid, male Legionnaires.
 

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Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Oops! Synchronicity!

Harbinger:
Granted! Here is one cent.

Now:

I wish I were built like one of the humanoid, male Legionnaires--but not Bouncing Boy.

[ August 14, 2005, 12:30 PM: Message edited by: Rockhopper Lad ]
 

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Posted by Tamper Lad on :
 
Granted. A scientist discovers a space warp propulsion system. However during the first large scale test, the team causes a cascading effect which permanently damages space around earth. Earth sinks into a gravity well and never emerges.

I wish for the end of world poverty.
 

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Posted by Tamper Lad on :
 
Granted you have the physique of Chuck Taine Lar-Gand but you have just now been put into the phantom zone for 1000 years.

I wish for the end of world poverty.

[ August 14, 2005, 12:34 PM: Message edited by: Tamper Lad ]
 

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Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted, the world ends in poverty, which was no better than present day poverty.

I still wish apples were oranges.
 

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Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, apples are now oranges and can be added together. Unfortunately, it has a ripple effect and all things become the same. Not only is it really boring, but it really messes up entropy.

I wish I could go back in time and meet myself when I was 21 to tell me what not to do.
 

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Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! You go back and tell your 21-year-old self what not to do and he, of course, ignores you.

I wish I could find a man with whom I could maintain a romantic relationship.
 

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Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, unfortunately he is not into you.

I wish I was as good looking as the Abercrombie and Fitch male models.
 

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Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, you now have lean chiseled blond good looks, you have washboard abs and don't own a shirt. Unfortunately, you are so good looking that everyone is afraid to approach you. It's a very lonely life.

I wish I could sing better than Luciano Pavarottii, the famous opera singer (not some no talent namesake).

[ August 15, 2005, 08:40 AM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
 

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Posted by Harbinger on :
 
Not a problem Semi, you can now sing better than not only Pavorotti but ALL opera singers, unfortunately you can only do this when you are in the shower by yourself.

I wish there were more hours in my day.
 

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Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, you now have 48 hours in your day, but your workload also doubled.

I wish that the next song I hear is my favorite one.
 

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Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
 
Granted, the next song you here is a rendition of your favorite on a horribly out of tune accordian.

I wish that Superman really existed, with the typical character traits and powers he had during the Silver Age.
 

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Posted by Harbinger on :
 
Granted, though now so do Darkseid, General Zod and the full gamut of his rogues gallery from throughout the decades.

I wish I won the lottery.
 

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Posted by Disaster Boy on :
 
granted. you win the lottery then lose it all plus 500 dollarss in vegas.

i wish i had perfect teeth.
 

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Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, Disaster Boy! Your perfect teeth are now sitting in a glass of water on your nightstand.

I wish Disater Boy would ge a happy avatar.
 

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Posted by Harbinger on :
 
Granted, unfortunately due to the angle of drawing his avatar is destined to look as if it's grimacing.

I wish I had a nice green apple to hand - I'm feeling hungry!
 

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Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, here's a beautiful green apple. Unfortunately, it's green because it's not ripe.

I wish I were the king of England.
 

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Posted by Harbinger on :
 
Granted, only now you have to deal with the Windsors as your relatives :shiver:

I wish I could write professionally.
 

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Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, You are a professional greeting card writer.

I wish I was financially comfortable
 

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Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted, a million dollars appears in your account. The IRS wants to know where it came from.

I wish I could sing well.
 

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Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, you can sing "well". And while it is extremely beautiful, it is the only word you can sing.

I wish everything was so wonderful for me that I didn't have to wish.
 

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Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, Everything is so wonderful for you that you don't notice the strait jacket and rubber walls.

I wish I had a better response for that last wish.
 

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Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
 
Granted! You come up with a better response, now that it's too late to use it!

I wish the evil flesh eating Xhhhuji of Mellllac 7 would become vegetarians.
 

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Posted by Disaster Boy on :
 
granted. they become avid vegetarians, so avid they decimate the agriculture of earth...leaving us all to die in the ensuing famine.

i wish i wasn't so good at spoiling people's wishes.
 

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Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
 
Granted! Now you have the ability to grant every wish in exactly the way the poster wanted you to grant it. Congratulations, you are now a genie and have no freedom whatsoever.

I wish I were a natural talent at all kinds of sports.
 

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Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, you have the natural talent of a swimmer when you play football, the natural talent of a hockey player when you do gymnastics, the natural talent of an equestrian when you run track, etc.

I wish I could time travel to the past and observe historical events safely.
 

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Posted by Chaim Mattis Keller on :
 
Granted! But your time machine only works in a backward direction.

I wish someone would pay me to write comic books
 

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Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! You are now the writer on a revival of Richie Rich.

I wish chocolate had no calories.
 

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Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, Chocolate now has no calories and tastes like plain rice cakes.

I wish I could eat more nutritiously.
 

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Posted by Vee on :
 
Granted! You now have a lifetime supply of "Nutritiously" brand low carb, low calories, sugar free, fat free, synthetic rhubarbs.

I wish that my wish could not be granted.

[ August 16, 2005, 09:56 AM: Message edited by: Vee ]
 

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Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
 
Granted! Your wish has been both granted and not granted, and the universe is now ruled by paraconsistent logic.

I wish I was a genie.
 

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Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, you are now a genie and you look like Barbara Eden. Hey!, quit touching yourself. Unfortunately, you are trapped in your bottle which is buried deep under a paved parking lot in Baghdad.

I wish someone would find Eryk's bottle.

[ August 16, 2005, 10:59 AM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
 

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Posted by Tamper Lad on :
 
Granted, a US soldier finds the bottle and turns it over to George W Bush who uses Eryk to wish all the people that disagree with him into the bottle.


I wish the genie could satisfy my lust for power without any nasty surprises or consequences.
 

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Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, you no longer have a lust for power. Satisfied?

I wish, I wish, I wish I were a fish.
 

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Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Oh why, oh why, oh why? Any, granted! And your friends can visit you for the next two days at DeLucci's Fresh Seafood, where you will be appearing on ice.

I wish I could play the guitar and sing so well that I get a record contract and release a million selling cd.
 

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Posted by Faraway Lad on :
 
Granted!

However the contract is a fraud and your manager runs off with all your money and your girl friend (?) leaving you with a huge tax bill and no home.


I wish, I wish, I wish......beer was good for you.
 

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Posted by Disaster Boy on :
 
granted. stores only sell carb free, sugar free, alcohol free, organic,vegan, vegetarian, non gas giving, non-dairy, no sodium, caffeine free, nicotine free, vitamin packed beer. it has a wonderful earthy flavor similar to dry dirt.

i wish i was not tired from this morning.
 

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Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
I just wanted to respond to Faraway's wish as well.

Granted, beer is now good for me.

Now, on to Disaster Boy's wish,

Granted, you slept until noon. I hope it wasn't anything important that you had to do this morning.

I wish Brad Pitt would join Legion World.
 

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Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! Brad Pitt now is a member of Legion World. Having never read LSH, he has no idea what we're talking about, so he leaves without ever posting.

I wish public transit were comprehensive enough in the United States that no one had to own a car.

[ August 17, 2005, 05:29 PM: Message edited by: Rockhopper Lad ]
 

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Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, however most Americans are too selfish and refuse to give up their automobiles. (On the plus side, you always get a seat)

I wish for a perfect moment
 

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Posted by Stratum on :
 
Granted! However, you were in the bathroom when it happens and you missed it.

I wish I could think of more wishes.

Jamie
 

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Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, you can now think of more wishes. Doesn't mean any of them will come true though.

I wish you would all post to the Rockstar INXS thread. Scott and I are very lonely there.
 

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Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! Everyone posts there and it goes on a tangent that has nothing to do with INXS.

I wish I could read music better.
 

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Posted by Abin Quank on :
 
Granted, you can now read anything written exclusively for an accordian/bagpipe combo perfectly!

I wish I knew what to wish for...
 

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Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
 
Granted! You have figured out the perfect unthwartable wish to win the game! Unfortunately, you forget it before it's your turn to wish again.

I wish I could teach the world to sing.
 

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Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Eryk Davis Ester:
Granted! You have figured out the perfect unthwartable wish to win the game! Unfortunately, you forget it before it's your turn to wish again.

I wish I could teach the world to sing.

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Granted! You can now teach the world to sing, starting with that very song "I'd like to teach the world to sing." Unfortunately, you were just chosen as Pepsi's new spokesperson (because of your great ability to reach out through song), and they are very disappointed by your blatant reference to their competitor, Coca-Cola. They fire your ass!

I wish I had a pepsi right now.

[ August 18, 2005, 10:37 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
 

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Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, you have a Pepsi that has been sitting out in the sun for 3 hours. It is also flat.

I wish everyone from Legion World could be in Boston for the Wizard World convention.
 

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Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
 
Granted! Everyone from Legion World somehow makes it to Boston in time, only to find that the Convention has been cancelled because the building it was supposed to have been held in collapsed.

I wish I could speak all the world's langauges fluently.
 

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Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted! And you can speak them all at once. In fact, you can't speak just one language. No one can figure out what you are saying. It's lonely being so communicative.

I wish Invisible Braniac would post a nice picture of himself in the Pictures of Members thread.
 

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Posted by Abin Quank on :
 
Granted! He did, long ago, but he's invisible in the picture.

I wish I didn't have to work today.
 

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Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted! You are arrested and taken to jail pending arraignment.

I wish someone would come and clean my carpets for free.
 

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Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! While they're there, they take your TV, grandma's china, your comics collection and all the doorknobs.

I wish I could draw what I think Rockhopper Lad should look like.
 

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Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, however what you think Rockhopper Lad looks like is nothing like what he really looks like.

I wish I didn't have to make wishes here
 

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Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted. You are now banned from this thread.

I wish Quislet would come back and post on this thread.
 

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Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
 
Granted! However, you lose your chance at winning this game. And instead of making your wishes here, your make your wish by dropping a coin into a wishing well in which a water demon lives. You are captured by it, never to be seen again.

I wish I could fulfill Semi's wish that I post a nice, visible picture of myself in the Pictures of Members thread.

[ August 22, 2005, 08:20 AM: Message edited by: Invisible Brainiac ]
 

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Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! Unfortunately, no one knows whose picture it is!

I wish I knew a place to get good crawfish etouffe.
 

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Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
 
Granted! You do know the place, but you can't find it!

I wish I had the highest post count in Legion World.
 

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Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted! Now what are you going to do with all those exquisitely crafted elm posts? Build a fence? A deck?

I wish Matter Eater Lad would appear in the next issue of LSH.

[ August 23, 2005, 09:28 AM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
 

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Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, Look in the biggest crowd. He's the one way in back. He has food stains on his shirt.

I wish for a great time this weekend
 

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Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! You find a very interesting copy of Time Magazine in the stacks at your local library.

I wish penguins could fly under their own power.
 

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Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Sorry this wish cannot be granted. Penquins already can fly under their own power. However they only do it when no one can see them.

You have another wish coming.
 

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Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Hmm. Here's an unexpected twist. Okay, I wish I could see penguins fly under their own power.
 

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Posted by Tamper Lad on :
 
Granted, penguins can fly under their own power however I don't grant them the strength to generate enough lift to overcome their weight.Thus they can only fly through a fluid which has a density approaching 1 kilogram/litre.

Comparative Densities

Distilled water 1 kg/L
Sea water 1.02 kg/L
Air at sea level 1.3 g/L

Ergo penguins fly gracefully under their own power in water.

Darn I guess I granted nothing as well. Next Genie wanna crack at it.
 

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Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, you witness penguins flying under their own power. Unfortunately they spot you and use their super-scientific inventions to turn you into a herring and eat you.

I wish for a new car that looks good to me and runs well.
 

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Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
 
Okay, deleted your second post, Quis.

GRANTED! Hope you enjoy your new miniature car. It's perfect, just about the right size for a pet mouse.

I wish I could meet a girl who looks exactly like Kinetix, with XS' personality and Dream Girl's intelligence, and that she would fall madly in love with me.
 

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Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! You meet her and she's wonderful. Then you wake up.

I wish DC would adopt a real-time timeline for its 21st Century comics that allows its characters to age normally.
 

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Posted by RTVU2 on :
 
Granted! But know you have to go the Comic Book Shop everyday to read there tales, leaving you broke and desitute and on the streets.

I wish I could get my car fixed.

(BTW, Thanks goes out to Disater Boy to pointing me here!)
 

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Posted by disaster boy on :
 
then please allow me to grant your wish.

you do get your car fixed except the eager mechanic added hydraulics that don't turn off, and speakers in the trunk. now you bounce down the street blasting "more bounce to the ounce" shattering windows and deafening children.


i wish i was done with school. very few things could be worse than this reality.
 

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Posted by RTVU2 on :
 
Granted. You are done with school and join the real world where the only job you can find is being a coffee guy at Starbucks. At least you get health insurance.

But really you are living a dream world where you body is in a liquid filled status tube with wires and tubes feeding you this lie. Welcome to the Matrix.

I wish I could go to Australia and vist all our OZ memebers of Legionworld.
 

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Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, You meet them all at the airport just as they fly off to Wizard World Boston.

I wish my vacation had been for one week instead of one weekend
 

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Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
 
Granted! Just as your vacation is about to start, though, a new "bug" gets your office quarantined... for one week

I wish I had Brainiac 5's intelligence.
 

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Posted by RTVU2 on :
 
Granted! You have all the fifth level intelligence but your social skills are naught becasue only you realize how stupid everything really is so you will die all alone and on the street desitute. (I just like doing the all alone and desitute part-seems all bad wishes you end up like that.)

I wish, I wish, I wish... I could make up my mind.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. Here is some Cerebellum Cream for a base. Next we have some Medula Mascara. This Frontal Lobe Liner should really bring out your creativity.


I wish I had more time to post on Legion World.
 

---

Posted by Tamper Lad on :
 
Granted, you've been fired from your job.


I wish I had less time to post on Legion World.
 

---

Posted by RTVU2 on :
 
Granted. You have banned from Legion World for leading a rebel underground in the MMB. This makes you want to quit your real job becasue you are so sad, leaving you poor and desitute on the streets.

Lesson Learned: Always share the Rocky Road.

I wish there were real life Transformers in the world.
 

---

Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
 
Granted! They already exist, so please see your local electrician, and he will show you how to manage them at the power plant.

BTW, this thread rocks! Just discovered it this morning!

I wish we could discover the origin of humanity without dying or going crazy in the process.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! We all take a trip to the library and find the etymology of the word "humanity" in the Oxford English Dictionary!

I wish Tamper Lad would become a good genius rather than an evil genius!
 

---

Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
 
Granted! In his goodness, Tamper Lad invents a time machine to go back in time and solve all the world's problems. He ends up restarting time and making it so that the Legion and, by extension, Legion World, were never created.

I wish the Office of Security would never be destroyed again.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. The Security Office is now made of intangible materials that cannot be destroyed. However, anyone can walk in and the floors don't support any weight because the walls and floors are now intangible.

I wish for a long and happy marriage between the Royal Inquisitor and myself.
 

---

Posted by RTVU2 on :
 
Granted! You and Roy have a wonderful wedding and start a beautiful life togethere. However, Roy get's himself in trouble again and you go help me out and you end up in prison with him. Forever.

I wish I had all the money in the world!
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! But you can't spend any of it. After all, your wish is to have all the money in the world!

I wish I were a good dancer.
 

---

Posted by Tamper Lad on :
 
Granted your stereotype-breaking phenotype is reversed, you are a fine heterosexual dancer.


I wish for my worries to be taken away.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. However even bigger worries rush in to fill the empty spaces.


I wish I were a better housekeeper.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! You are now Alice from The Brady Bunch.


I wish asparagus were less expensive.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, genetically altered asparagas proves so hardy that is wipes out all other vergatable crops. With the glut of asparagas, it's price falls to mere pennies a pound. Everyone is eating it for every meal. And, now everyone's pee smells funny.


I wish I could fly like Superman.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. You fly just like Superman for 10 seconds and then you hit the ground.

I wish I had a working Green Lantern Power Ring and Power Battery
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, you now have a working Green Lantern Power Ring and Power Battery, but it's too busy working to spend any time with you.

I wish Quislet, Esq. would post a picture of himself in which he is naked.
 

---

Posted by RTVU2 on :
 
Granted. But you go blind from seeing it.

I wish I could see the pic that must not be seen.
 

---

Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
 
Granted. But not only do you go blind from seeing it, your brain also melts.

I wish I had a dollar for every post made on legion World.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! You have a dollar of Monopoly money for each post on Legion World.


I wish I could get a good night's sleep.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. Sir Galahad is now an insomniac.

I wish I looked good when naked.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, you look great naked, Quislet. And to prove it, here's an official certificate signed by Rosie O'Donnell attesting to the fact that she has thoroughly inspected you naked and certifies that you look great.

I wish that green were red.
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted, green is red and traffic everywhere is tied up and you miss a very important date.

I wish I were smart
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted and more specifically, you are now Jean Smart and stuck in an endless repeat of epsidoes 8 and 9 of Designing Women.

I wish Adolf Hitler had never been born.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Oh you might want to read "Making History" by Stephen Fry.

Granted. Adolph Hitler was never born. Instead he was the result of a secret genetics experiment. This new Hitler is more ruthless and utterly without any redeeming qualities. He is also more intellegent and does not make any mistakes.

I wish I could make a living by posting on Legion World.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! You will be paid what was considered a living wage in 1935.

I wish for a jar of blackberry jam.
 

---

Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
 
Granted! But no matter how hard you try, you can't seem to open it.

I wish I had a sexy, muscular body.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! You are now Rodin's The Thinker.

I wish for patience and understanding.
 

---

Posted by STU on :
 
Granted! You are now Laura Bush.

I wish for a new, hi-definition, widescreen plasma TV.
 

---

Posted by Mattropolis on :
 
Granted! But it only shows repeats of the View!


I wish for a raging bull!
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, you are in the middle of the running of the bulls in Pamplona and it looks like a very angry bull has corned you in a cul-de-sac.

I wish for blue skies and sunshine all month.
 

---

Posted by Mattropolis on :
 
Granted! But you have now developed a fever and will be quarantined inside your home, for a month...

I wish to have a wonderful Italian dinner.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
granted. unfortunately it's so laden with garlic that no-one will come within 10 feet of you. In fact, even you wish you could get away.


I wish I could stop and start time at will.
 

---

Posted by RTVU2 on :
 
GRANTED! -but everytime you stop and restart you go back to the moment you stop and have to relive it again.

I wish I could find a new job.
 

---

Posted by disaster boy on :
 
GRANTED. easy you find a great new job but are laid off after 30 days due to cutbacks. sorry, new guys go first....no severance because haven't been there for 6 months...and your position at your old job has been filled. oh and your accounts are frozen because someone stole your atm card. good luck!


i wish it was june 2006.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted; however, it will take approximately eight months for this wish to come true.

I wish my tap water tasted better.
 

---

Posted by DrakeB3004 on :
 
Granted -- your tap water now tastes like balls-sweat rather than ass-sweat.

I wish life really were like a box of chocolates
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, you are now a chocolate covered cherry in a family size box of Godiva chocolate. You've been severely injured by someone poking a finger into you and breaking your shell. As your life oozes out, you must suffer the horror of watching your brothers and sisters being eaten alive before you.

(That was sick, wasn't it?)

I wish I never made mistakes.
 

---

Posted by STU on :
 
Granted. You are now the Bush Administration.

I wish I had a personal chef cook me a sumptuous ten-course meal right now.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted. Your personal chef is from a tribe deep in the Amazon. Unfortunately, it's a cannibal tribe and the sumptuous ten-course meal is composed of ten of your closest friends -broiled, roasted, sauteed, baked, fricasseed, stewed, candied, pureed, tartare and boiled, in particlarly novel ways.

(That was sick too.)

I wish I had enough money to retire right now.

[ October 10, 2005, 09:35 AM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
 

---

Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
 
Granted. Times fast forwards so you can get your money. However, you are now 90 years old.

I wish I had Kinetix' powers.

[ October 13, 2005, 05:54 AM: Message edited by: Invisible Brainiac ]
 

---

Posted by Reboot on :
 
Granted, but the second you use them E=mc² kicks in and you evapourate into a bunch of gamma rays.

I wish the Bush administration sank.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! Unfortunately, they sank into their underground bunker just before they finally blew up the world.


I wish my dryer worked.
 

---

Posted by minesurfer on :
 
Granted... Your dryer worked. Now it doesn't.

I wish the next evil genie would write a limerick.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
a limerick


I wish I could sleep for a thousand years
 

---

Posted by minesurfer on :
 
Granted... you wake up and you can't move your arms because of muscle atrophy and your fingernails are too heavy. And you need to trim your nose hairs. And you're hungry... and you really need to pee. And you're breath stinks... and you still can't move.

I wish I could fly...
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, you can fly for the amount of time it takes to get from the top of the building to the ground.

I wish I was independently wealthy
 

---

Posted by minesurfer on :
 
Granted... you have lots of money and wealth. But you're deserted on an island with no hope of ever being rescued and nobody else will ever come to the island.

I wish I had time for lunch...
 

---

Posted by Hrun the Barbarian on :
 
Granted....You are fired. Now you all day to have lunch

I wish it was home time

[ October 13, 2005, 08:51 AM: Message edited by: Hrun the Barbarian ]
 

---

Posted by Reboot on :
 
Granted - you're fired! Go home.

I wish for no more war.
 

---

Posted by minesurfer on :
 
Granted.... we win... now go home.

I wish for sunny skies...
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted. You are now on the planet Mercury - on the side that always faces the sun. Ouch.

I wish to be able to go back in time to 1976 for 3 days, after which I will return to the present.
 

---

Posted by minesurfer on :
 
Granted... you're back in 1976 Dec 23rd to be exact. The third day is the 25th and you will be opening your present. And you will keep returning to your present. Your own little Groundhog Day, only you know what you're going to be opening. Mwaaaaaaaahahahaha!


I wish for better times...
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, you can now run the mile in 3 seconds less than your best time.

I wish Minesurfer would dedicate his next three limericks to me.
 

---

Posted by minesurfer on :
 
Granted... consider yourself Kate for three limericks.

I wish I had more wishes...
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, you do and they're all about as effective as your other wishes.

I wish Minesurfer's spouse would find out about his obsession with Kate.
 

---

Posted by minesurfer on :
 
Not me said the genie... Don't put me in the middle of this.

I wish for a bird...
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted - And she shares the obsession

I wish Semi had been to Boston for the convention
 

---

Posted by minesurfer on :
 
Granted... Semi was at the Boston Tea Party.

I wish for redemption...
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted you have 4 coupons for 25 cents of a big box of Kotex, which you can redeem at WalMart.

I wish that all the LW'ers that went to the Boston Convention come to the San Diego convention this year.
 

---

Posted by minesurfer on :
 
Granted... San Diego is now Boston... wanna go surfing?

I wish I may...
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. You now may ellipsis all you want.

I wish I had a new penguin necktie (the one I have is getting frayed).
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted - However you keep having to feed it fish

I wish I was perfect
 

---

Posted by minesurfer on :
 
Granted... you're a cat. A female cat.

I wish I might...
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! Unfortunately you'll never know what you might do.

I wish I had bigger biceps.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted. You now have bigger biceps. But to get them, all of you grew bigger. You've put on one hundred pounds.

I wish I could eat anything and not gain weight.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! Everything you eat now passes through undigested (better chew thoroughly).

I wish someone would pay off my credit cards.
 

---

Posted by minesurfer on :
 
Granted... you will pay off your credit cards.

I wish I'd never been born... (not really, it's just a little something to keep the game going)
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
GRANTED:
You weren't "born", you are the product of one of the sickest experiments performed by Nazi scientists; you were created from an egg harvested from a suffering Jewish woman and the sperm of a gorilla, you are a walking testament to the most heinous acts of inhumanity ever performed, and you are 62 years old.

I wish I had never dated Jeff.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. You and Jeffy from "The Family Circus" never went on a date.


I wish coffee tasted as good as it smells.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
Place your nose on your monitor and smell the word "it" in your post above. Now take a sip of that drip-brewed Sello Dorado Orange Label coffee that you worked so hard to get imported from Columbia. Notice how you can't tell the difference.

NEXT:
I wish I were a policy wonk in an obscure federal agency who squandered untold hours of time posting inane messages on LegionWorld.
 

---

Posted by Juan on :
 
Granted.

I wish I would like to do sports.
 

---

Posted by minesurfer on :
 
Granted... You just bought a horse named "Sports".

I wish that yellow was actually green.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. You now suffer from nominal aphasia.

I wish I had a DVR.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted - You now have your neighbor's old DVR that no longer works.

I wish I knew the secret to happiness
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted - you now now the scret to happiness, but won't be able to use it. Who'd have thought total lack of conscience was the key.

I wish there really was a Superman.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
He's straight.

I wish my dad had never sold that 64 1/2 Ford Mustang.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted - instead he put it up on blocks in your frontyard where it rusted away.

I wish I had a mint condition copy of every comic book ever printed.
 

---

Posted by Kid Prime's cocoon on :
 
Granted! The photocopies arrive at your doorstep, COD, and in mint condition. For the million or so tons of paper involved you now owe the shipping company 100,000 dollars.

I wish I had the discipline to get up every morning and lift weights before work and school.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted. Now that Sandra Day O'Connor has some extra time on her hands, she's agreed to arrive at your house each morning at 4:30 to get you out of bed and make you work-out. If yelling at you doesn't work, she's instructed to throw a bucket of cold water on you.

I wish there was a pill you could take that would give you the physique you wanted within 24 hours.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted
There is such a pill, only one, I just took it.

I wish my good-looking next door neighbor didn't have opaque blinds on his bedroom window.
 

---

Posted by minesurfer on :
 
Granted... He now has them on his shoulders.

I wish it was the weekend...
 

---

Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
 
Granted... but you're under court order to work all weekend - and overtime! with no additional compensation, or even comp time. And your favorite band was giving a free concert in your town while you're at work, to boot!

I wish that whoever responds to this post is granted as much happiness as I granted Minesurfer...
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted and thank you:
Minsurfer was desperately looking for a way to spend the whole weekend in his office with Kate. He's (soon to be) orgasmically happy.

I wish all evil and hostililty on LegionWorld would be manifested solely against Kent.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! But what do you have against a county in Southeastern England?

I wish more people had an appreciation of fine cheeses.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted - This causes cheese prices to rise so high that you cannot afford to buy cheese ever again.

I wish I was as out-going as Lad Boy
 

---

Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
 
Granted - but you're forced to move to an isolated one-man research station in northern Greenland.

I wish "Mirrormask" was playing close to me.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
"Mirrormask" my mother-in-law's flatulent donkey is now playing in your living room. Keep him away from the cole slaw in your refrigerator.

I wish I could get a job on one of those isolated research stations in Greenland.

[ October 14, 2005, 02:39 PM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted - This one is staffed by 80 year old nuns.

I wish I lived near Lad Boy
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
You now have a 1.3 million dollar mortgage (because you were too smart to buy one of the newer expensive houses) and must spend all your time at work in order to avoid foreclosure.

I wish Quislet worked in the office next to me.
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted and the nuns love you and want you, particularly the old ones.

I wish it were tomorrow so I could watch football.
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
^^^^
Hmmm posted same time. they could have at least posted alphebetically. Or by better looking. Either works for me.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Okay: Two wishes.

BB: Granted! It's already tomorrow in Australia. See if Joe-Boy or LAM will let you watch football.

Lad Boy: Granted! You and Quislet now have adjoining offices. You spend all your time chatting which leads to both of you getting fired.

I wish I had a quicker wit.
 

---

Posted by Kid Prime's cocoon on :
 
Granted! Your wit is now so fast that no one can keep up with you in conversation. It irritates everyone.

I wish I had the best body of anyone on the board!
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! You are now standing on a board with Drew Carey and Kathy Kinney.

I wish for a good night's sleep.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Grant - you find Sir Galahad fast asleep in your bed. Nothing you can do will wake him up.

I wish for something good to happen to me.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. You logged on to Legion World. What could be better than that?

I wish for a nice hot cup of tea.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted - you have a nice hot cup of skunk cabbage tea. (Description---The plant grows in abundance in moist places of the northern and middle United States. All parts of it have a strong, foetid odour)

I wish for less violence
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
(Resisting temptation to pull an Emily Litella). Granted! You've just joined a nice peaceful monastery.

I wish I had super-breath.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Rockhopper Lad:
(Resisting temptation to pull an Emily Litella). Granted! You've just joined a nice peaceful monastery.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Rockhopper Lad:
(Resisting temptation to pull an Emily Litella). Granted! You've just joined a nice peaceful monastery.

I wish I had super-breath.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:


I wish for more sex

---

And that's why the monastery was nasty!

Granted! Everyone else is having more.


I wish for more violins on television.

[ October 17, 2005, 09:39 AM: Message edited by: Rockhopper Lad ]
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted all the networks now feature re-runs of the Lawrence Welk show for all primetime hours each and every night of the week.

I wish I will be able to stay awake when I go to the opera in two weeks.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted - You will be able to stay awake after the elderly matron sitting next to you gropes your package.


I wish that people got along better
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted
People now get along better than Japanes fighting fish.

I wish I could sit beside Semi at the opera and keep him awake.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! Unfortunately the aforementioned elderly matron has a long reach.

I wish I could sing in an opera (well, that is).

[ October 17, 2005, 12:55 PM: Message edited by: Rockhopper Lad ]
 

---

Posted by Kid Prime's cocoon on :
 
Granted! Now you are like the other thousands of musicians in America who have classically trained their wonderful voices through their twenties, and yet can't find work even though their voices are fantastic, simply because the market is so very small for paid opera singers. Despondent and bitter, you turn to the bottle for answers. Mainly, you just sit around the house and cry...

I wish we could all get together in real life one day.
 

---

Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
 
Granted! In fact, you become so famous as an opera singer, that you and two of your fellow singers release an best-selling album as The Three Castrati!

I wish I could write a successful opera.
 

---

Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kid Prime's cocoon:

I wish we could all get together in real life one day.

---

Granted! The aliens who visit Earth next year are fascinate by the Legion, and kidnap all of us to suck our brains dry of Legion knowledge!

I wish I could write a successful opera.
 

---

Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
 
Granted! but the Chechen National Opera Company is the only one that will perform your work, and expect you to attend every performance. You have to commute through a war zone every day.

I wish politicians were honest.

[ October 17, 2005, 01:33 PM: Message edited by: Kent Shakespeare ]
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, they now tell us all the shitty things they are going to do, but we're so used to irony in contemporary speech that we elect them anyway.

I wish Bill Clinton were re-elected President again.
 

---

Posted by Kid Prime's cocoon on :
 
Granted! The Constitutional amendment allowing for more than two terms leads to the despotic American empire 50 years down the line, which then leads to nuclear war. Everyone dies.

I wish I had Mystique's powers.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted - You keep it in a jar on the mantle.

I wish I could shape change like Chameleon Boy
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, you changed yourself into a rhinocerous to scare away some bullies. Hey, you didn't say you wanted the ability to change back.

I wish I had really strong willpower.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted - Will Power comes to stay with you, but his phenomenal strength cause him to break everything he touches. You soon have no furniture or appliances and you suffer from many bruises and broken bones.

I wish I was the kept boy of a rich handsome & nice man.
 

---

Posted by minesurfer on :
 
Granted... You are now the White House Chief of Staff.

I wish I owned a nice beach house...
 

---

Posted by not Kid Prime on :
 
Granted. WILMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! (In my best Fred Flintstone voice.)

I wish I could eat sweets all day and still lose weight.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted - You have all the chocolate ex-lax you can eat.

I wish I had an ice cold glass of Diet Coke right now
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. You have now have a tapeworm.


I wish I could draw better.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Oops! Quislet beat me to the punch--or the Diet Coke!


Granted. You know have an ice-cold glass sculpture of a Diet Coke can.

Now: I wish I could draw better than I can draw now.
 

---

Posted by not Kid Prime on :
 
Granted! The helpful polar bear sitting next to you at the Arctic gives you a nice ice cold glass of Diet COKE while smiling happily. 30 minutes later, you die of hypothermia.

I wish it had been me on American Idol instead of my cousin Diana.

Coke. I meant coke.

[ October 19, 2005, 01:25 PM: Message edited by: not Kid Prime ]
 

---

Posted by not Kid Prime on :
 
Crap!!!

Granted!!! You can draw water from wells better than anyone else in the world. You'll be a huge hit in third world nations!

Aaaand... I wish it had been me on American Idol instead of my cousin Diana.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, but you got disqualified when your wig fell off and they found out you were impersonating Diana. Now Diana won't speak to you.

I wish Jeff would get to sing the role of Pinkerton at the San Francisco Opera's production of Butterfly this year.
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted!! Jeff sings the role of Pinkerton at the San Francisco Opera's production of Butterfly opposite the stand in for the stand in for the stand in, Rosanne Barr as Cio-Cio San.

I wish I'd been here when Shady posted.
 

---

Posted by Mattropolis on :
 
Granted! But your sudden presence in the past rewrites history so that Shady never posted to being with.

I wish I knew the secret of the island on "Lost".
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted you accidentlally find out the secret but the network quickly gets an injunction preventing you from telling. If you do tell, you get jailed for contempt and you're mother loses her house to pay the networks damages.

I wish the male lead (the handsome Park Ranger) on Invasion would appear nude in tonight's episode.
 

---

Posted by Mattropolis on :
 
Granted! But because of a freak electrical storm, the power goes out at your house at the pivotal moment.

I wish something exciting would happen.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, something very exciting has just happened to me. And I'm not telling.

I wish something exciting would happen to Mattropolis.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. He's not talking either.

I wish someone would cook dinner for me.
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted, I cooked dinner for you.

I wish I could cook
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Clever, Blockade Boy.

Carry on.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
You are an outstanding chef, your acclaimed Napa-cajun fusion cuisine was a big hit in your trendy restaurant in New Orleans this summer. You now live in a U-haul trailer in Selma, Alabama.

NEXT:
I wish I was a smart as Tamper Lad.
 

---

Posted by minesurfer on :
 
Granted...

Your wish I never would stop,
So your brain with Tamper I swap.
And now all of your thoughts
Are in a childproof box
And no one can remove the top.

Next...

I wish there was a word that rhymed with orange...

[ October 20, 2005, 12:54 PM: Message edited by: minesurfer ]
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted - There is now a word that rhymes with Orange. What? You expected me to tell you what it is?


I wish I had won the Powerball drawing
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, Barry Kitson has graciously agreed to draw you a picture of the Powerball. You lucky fellow.

I wish I had been the sole winner of the money awarded in the most recent Powerball lottery.

[ October 21, 2005, 11:14 AM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. You are now a Dover sole who was awarded all the money in the recent Powerball lottery.

I wish people wouldn't confuse "its" and "it's".
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, contractions are now disallowed in English and all memory of their existence has been wiped out. But, boy does it ever take people a long time to say things now. Your new crusade is outlawing the passive voice and progressive tenses. You really do have to get a life, Rockhopper. All that herring just cannot be good for someone.

I wish no one, except me, would be allowed to drive on San Francisco streets between 7:30 a.m. and 8:00 a.m. when I drive to work.
 

---

Posted by not Kid Prime on :
 
Granted! All people on Earth magically transform into Mrs. Halford, my senior year English teacher. Life sucks thereafter for eternity.

I wish for more wishes.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
nKP, how will that help my driving?
 

---

Posted by not Kid Prime on :
 
Granted! The insane traffic rush that ensues means that your staff doesn't ever get to work until 11. You must leave the office every day at 8 PM, since working in the morning is now impossible.

I wish for unlimited wishes.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Semi's wish Granted - you are the only one allowed to drive on San Francisco Streets between the hours of 7:30am and 8:00am. However your commute time is tripled as all those people are now walking on the streets of San Francisco at that time.

not Kid Prime's wish Granted - Please state your wishes so I can fulfill them in equally nasty ways.

I wish for nothing
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, like every human being, your sense of unfullfillment is astonishing. You spend what should be your productive years, in pursuit of unattainable goals that achieve solidity only in your unbridled fantasy life. Too bad you neglect the things that are really important. Oh, you wanted wishes that come true? Why didn't you say so?

I wish for one day of perfect happiness.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Quis, existence, for you anyway, has been wiped out.

I wish for one day of perfect happiness.

[ October 21, 2005, 11:35 AM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
 

---

Posted by not Kid Prime on :
 
Granted! That one day is all you get. Hope you enjoy your years of misery thereafter!

I wish to be sexually irresistible to all men I find attractive.

[ October 21, 2005, 11:44 AM: Message edited by: not Kid Prime ]
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted! You are soon worn out, but it just won't stop. You're always tired now, not to mention sore. You long for some peace and quiet. You scream that you just want to be left alone. Your excess of emotion just heightens your irresistibility, and the clamor for your favors increases. Finally you can take it no more and you embark on a trek to the Canadian arctic where finally, you are alone. That is until Quin the Mighty Eskimo and his tribe of handsome Innuit find you and trap you in your igloo...

I hope nKP finds fullfillment.

[ October 21, 2005, 12:00 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted - Unfortunately they are only into things you find disgusting.


I wish someone else comes up with a wish
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, see above.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted

I wish this thread had never been started.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, this is no longer "The Nasty Genie" . I've renamed it "Nasty Genie."

I wish all black ink would be replaced with blue ink.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted - But now I need something to replace all that blue ink I just used to replace the black ink. I know, I'll use all this black ink.

I wish to dance the jig
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, in my best looney-tunes style, I've just given you a hot foot. Plus, as an added bonus, I fiddle while your foot burns.

I wish Quis would do Salome's dance of the veils for me.

[ October 21, 2005, 01:21 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
deleted, typed too slow, carry on.

[ October 21, 2005, 01:26 PM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted
However, he confused it with your earlier request for a lap dance, and he performed the dance of the veils while standing on your crotch -- in heels.

I wish I had better handwriting.

[ October 21, 2005, 01:30 PM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
GRANTED, you now have one sheet of paper covered with my fine penmanship. Show it to your friends and be the envy of all.

After Quis is finished with his dance of the veils, I wish Lad Boy would peel me a grape.

[ October 21, 2005, 01:28 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:

Remember the rather frumpy grape guy from the fruit of the loom underwear ads with people dressed as fruit? I've peeled the grape for you. Eek!

I wish I could still wear my size 31 jeans.

[ October 21, 2005, 01:32 PM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, you can. You just can't button them up.

I wish Lad Boy would post that picture of him in his size 31 jeans.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted - Unfortunately they cut off circulation to your family jewels which have to be amputated.

I wish Lad Boy would perform a strip tease for me

[ October 21, 2005, 01:39 PM: Message edited by: Quislet, Esq. ]
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted - Lad Boy posts the picture and the excessive number of people trying to open that thread cause Legion World to crash permanently.

I wish Lad Boy would perform a strip tease for me

[ October 21, 2005, 01:43 PM: Message edited by: Quislet, Esq. ]
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted

*sqeezing back into my size 31 jeans and closing the blinds*

I wish there were some cuter exhibitionist-minded guys in the building across the alley.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted!

The building across the alley is now inhabited by two babies who like crawling out of their diapers.

I wish I had a life, per Semi's recommendation above.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted

You now have the life of a good-looking popular sexy bachelor...from World War II. You are now
87 years old; you look like Hume Cronin.

I wish my boss would take a long vacation in Cancun.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, He does take a long working vacation in Cancun in a small sweaty non-airconditiioned room 12 miles from the beach in a malaria infested swamp. And he takes you along to do his typing.

I'd like a vacation on Mykonos next summer.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! You will be going to Mykonos next summer. The whole trip will cost you about $4000. You didn't say anything about not paying for it.

I wish we all really lived on Legion World as our characters.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted. You are a penguin on Legion World. I'd stay away from Cafe Cramer for the next couple of months. Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming, and I hear there's a shortage of turkeys on Legion World.

I wish I did own a bar named SHAKES and that Superheros wearing silver thongs frequented it.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
GRANTED:

Chuck Taine is there every day.

I wish Semi Transparent Fellow did own a bar named SHAKES in San Francisco and I could arrange a government boondoggle trip there for a week or two.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, you're part of the FEMA clean up crew sent to San Francisco to clean up after the devastating quake of '06 (2006, that is). Unfortunately SHAKES was destroyed.

I wish I were Angel from the x-Men
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted - You are a young black teenager with insect wings and a lot of little ones to take care of. Your boyfriend looks like a chicken.

I wish I had the best computer and internet access at home and that it doesn't cost me anything.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
(Quis, I don't get it. Angel was Warren Worthington III)

Anyway, Granted! International spies dumped their super speed laptop in your yard while evading the FBI. The computer is amazing and connects with incredibly fast satellite access to the internet. Unfortunately, the laptop contains information vital to the security of the nation. Both the FBI and the international spies are now searching for that computer - and they're packing.

I wish aliens gave me the best flying saucer that I could live in and use to visit other worlds via it's space warp technology. It also has an amazing guidance system that never fails and always gets me where I want to go instantly, including home. By the way, it's luxuriously appointed, adapted for human use.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
(Quis, I don't get it. Angel was Warren Worthington III)

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:


I wish aliens gave me the best flying saucer that I could live in and use to visit other worlds via it's space warp technology. It also has an amazing guidance system that never fails and always gets me where I want to go instantly, including home. By the way, it's luxuriously appointed, adapted for human use.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
(I wish aliens gave me the best flying saucer that I could live in and use to visit other worlds via it's space warp technology. It also has an amazing guidance system that never fails and always gets me where I want to go instantly, including home. By the way, it's luxuriously appointed, adapted for human use.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow:
Ewww! I hate retcons.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Rockhopper Lad:
I wish The weather could stay pleasant year round.

---

Granted - It stays a pleasant 20 degrees F year round. Pleasant for penguins that is.

I wish I had a time machine with which to view past events.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
RHL:I wish The weather could stay pleasant year round.

Granted:
Terrestial life on earth is extinguihed by May due to lack of rain.

I wish Semi would have taken me for a ride in that cool spaceship and that Texaco had an unlimited supply of free gasoline (93 octane) in the Alpha Centauri system.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Stop using the damned time machine, Quislet!
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted - Semi takes you for a ride in his cool spaceship. During the ride, he takes you for another ride and cons you out of all your money.

I wish I could hang out with Superman on his day off.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
Enjoy the methane springs on the planet Neptune.

I wish at least one actuary in my office was a Legion fan.

(one of the newly-hired cute, young, horny-guy-looking actuaries.)
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted - But he only likes Monstress and talks on and on and on about Monstress and only Monstress.

I wish my cube-mate was a hot-looking horny young guy who found me sexually attractive.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:

But only if you talk on and on about Monstress and ... hold on ... wear this Monstress outfit.

I wish it was as socially acceptable to ask a good-looking co-worker to step out for a sex break as it is to invite one to take a coffee-break.

[ October 26, 2005, 07:05 AM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted - However, you never have time to ask your good-looking co-workers because all the ugly trolls keep asking you. And by the time you get to them, they say "Sorry, already had mine"

I wish I had a Monstress costume
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, you do. Unfortunately, it never comes off.

I wish I had a working Warren Worthington III costume.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted - Your Warren Worthington III costume works for you. Everyone compliments you on how good you look in it. Too bad it doesn't let you fly.

I wish I was independently wealthy so I didn't have to work.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
You're insanely wealthy and insane; you were once a test pilot; you're an antisocial recluse who neither bathes or shaves, you pee in empty milk bottles.

I wish there had been one less fabulous circuit party in Miami during the 2000 presidential election and instead there had been a successful "Get out the Gay Vote" initiative.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! But Jeb still didn't let his brother lose the state.

I wish Texas were a "Blue State".
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted - Everything in Texas is now the color blue.

I wish politicians told the truth
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
Politicians now tell the truth. However, all doctors, teachers, firemen, police, clergymen and LegionWorlders are chronic liars.

I wish I understood the proof of Fermat's Last Theorem.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted:

Fermat's Last Theorem states that

x**n + y**n = z**n

has no non-zero integer solutions for x, y and z when n > 2.

What could be clearer? [url= http://www-groups.dcs.st-and.ac.uk/~history/HistTopics/Fermat's_last_theorem.html]Check this out [/url] and get back to me if you have any problems. Maybe the Brainy Fairy could whack you on the back of the head with her wisdom wand.

I wish someone would tell me an uplifting fairy tale.

[I can't get the URL button to work - maybe I need to get whacked upside the head with the wisdom wand. ]

[ October 26, 2005, 10:06 AM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
Once a pathetic downtrodden fairy lived in a ramshackle house in Oakland. She had no friends; in fact, hardly anyone believed she even existed. Having exhausted all attempts at even a meager measure of self-esteem, she brought her miserable existence to an end by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. She took her nearly starved kitten, Mr. Fluffybritches with her.

Their bloated bodies were discovered in the bay the following spring and uplifted to the shore for disposal.

I wish this story didn't remind me of anyone I know.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
By the way, I have another uplifting fairy tale for you, Semi, and would gladly whack you with my wisdom wand.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
You sure they call that a wisdom wand?
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted - you now have amnesia and can't remember anyone from your past. That story reminds you of no one you know.


I wish the guy at the train station still sold Diet Coca Cola in 20 ounce bottles for $1.25 each.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
He sells them heterosexual conservative religious-right avid supporters of the Bush administration. Everyone else pays the "market value" -- $1.69.

I wish I could buy Semi a Diet Coke before we took a long train ride together.

(By the way *Whack! Whack!* do you feel wiser now, Semi?)
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
(Yes Lad Boy, wise enough to make you walk in front of me. )

Granted. You buy me a diet coke and we board the longest train ever. It's 125 cars long. Unfortunately, the old steam engine isn't strong enough to pull it more than 5 feet, and the ride ends.

I wish the romantic age of first class travel by train would return.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
It's back, with Smallpox.

I wish my 2:00 meeting with bureaucrats and attorneys would be cancelled.

(Walking in front of Semi, I spied an penny on the ground -- wait I'm geting my threads crossed.)
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, your 2:00 meeetng with bureaucrats and attorneys is cancelled and rescheduled for 10:30 p.m. Friday evening.

I wish we could all just get along and didn't need governments.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted.

We are all amoeboe. Glurb, Glurble.

I wish § 4022B of the Employee Retirement Income Security Act of 1974 had never been written.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted. In fact, while we're at it, let's just wipe out all of ERISA. Oh darn, there goes your pension.

I wish I weren't so restrained.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. Your straitjacket has just been loosened.

I wish people in real life would suddenly start singing like in musicals.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, the casts of all broadway musicals have been replaced with people in real life who sing only one word - "like." As an added bonus half them sing it in E flat and the other half in D sharp. Oh wait, isn't that the same note. Well that's what you get for wishing on a tone deaf genie.

I wish I could breathe underwater.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted - however, you are always off-step and off-key and everyone shuns you.


I wish I could eat better and exercise more.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, you can eat better and exercise more - but you don't!

I wish I could breathe underwater.
 

---

Posted by minesurfer on :
 
Granted... you now are a Semi-Transparent Minnow.

I wish I could change Semi's avatar.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted: You've changed on pixel. Wow, that's fabulous.

I wish I looked more like my avatar.

[ October 28, 2005, 12:27 PM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted. I give you permission to choose a new avatar for me and I will use that avatar for 1 hour of my choosing.

I wish I knew why minesurfer wants to change my avatar.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Lad Boy, granted, you now look more like your avatar. How do you enjoy being a two-dimensional cartoon characteer in a 3-d world. Watch out for a strong wind.

I wish I really understood Lad Boy.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
You understand everything about me. You're repulsed, you leave LegionWorld, in fact you seek out therapy.

I wish I could better edit my postings before I hit the "post" button.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, you can. But you don't. It's part of your self-destructive nature.

I wish the mysterious lights hovering over the Bay Area this week were really spaceships.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted - they are from the planet Moronia and use their de-intelligizer on you.

I wish I could talk with a sexy British accent
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. You now sound exactly like Diana Rigg.

I wish I had been one of the popular, athletic kids in high school.
 

---

Posted by disaster boy on :
 
granted. you were, but it has been downhill ever since....which is usually the case.


i wish i had a halloween costume idea!
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted - you do have an absolutely fabulous idea for a costume. Too bad you're going to be stuck bed-sitting your ailing Aunt Tilda that evening.

I wish I had more energy today.
 

---

Posted by minesurfer on :
 
Aside:

I wanted to change Semi's avatar from a fellow to a minnow... to go with the wish I granted.

Back to the game.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
You sound just like Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, and you look like her too.

I wish the cute bartender at my favorite lunch-hour reastaraunt would give me a free beer today.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, he does send you a free beer. Unfortunately, the waiter is a clutch and spills it in your lap.

I wish no-cal non-alcoholic beer tasted good.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! It tastes just like Brussels sprouts. Hey, I love Brussels sprouts!

I wish this cold I have would go away.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted - However it is a boomerang cold that keeps coming back to you.


I wish I had a nice new sports car to drive around in for today.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted. Unfortunately, the owner is not too pleased with you taking his new car and calls the police.

I wish I could get a fun, relaxing, well-paying job where I didn't have to be a lawyer.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted - You have to work on an isolated island off the coast of Northern Greenland.

I wish I could be a nice Genie
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:

You are a Diaper Genie. It sure is nice to have you around near the changing table.

I wish Mike would call and ask me to play a game of chess this afternoon.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, Mike calls and asks you to play a game of chess with his 90 year old deaf aunt Edna.

I wish I had a plate of lasagna.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted,
I found it on M. St. in Georgetown this morning. The homeless guy at the Wisconsin Ave. and M. St. intersection said he wouldn't touch it. (I don't think the green stuff is a garnish.)

I wish Barry Kitson would post some revealing insights here today about the future of the Legion.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! He tells us that Shrinking Violet/Atom Girl will appear in issue #14.

I wish the vacant librarian position I have at my library were filled.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
Meet Karl Rove your new librarian.

I wish I hadn't left my key to the office men's room at home this morning.

[ November 17, 2005, 02:34 PM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
 

---

Posted by Abin Quank on :
 
Granted, but the guy before you ate a rather excessive amount of chili last night. And the guy before him dropped something that blocked everything up.

I wish I hadn't thought of that...
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted, but the smell lingers. There are things even a Genie can't do.

I wish I knew some good jokes.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, you know many good jokes, but you never can tell them correctly.


I wish I had all the answers
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted,
Unfortunately all the answers are in Latin, and the all questions are now in Urdu. You are extremely frustrated and misunderstood.

I wish the cute guy who's in the locker room at the same time I am every morning would start using smaller towels.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, and you are horribly disappointed.

I wish I had Lad Boy's sense of sexual adventure.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
But wait, there's more, you'll be moving soon to rural Alabama to live with Lad Boy's inlaws, where you'll find your adventurous desires have little if any chance of being fulfilled.

I wish people would stop leaving dishes of Halloween candy all around the office.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! They'll now be leaving Christmas candy.

I wish I were as cute as Lad Boy.

[ December 02, 2005, 06:48 AM: Message edited by: Rockhopper Lad ]
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted, you are as cute as Lad Boy, you fall madly in lust with yourself and...uh...well, that was about to degenerate badly.

I wish I'd come up with a better answer to Rockhopper Lad's "I wish I were as cute as Lad Boy."
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
Your reply was hilarious, and flattering. Thank you. The fact that it was in Lettish, the official state language of the Republic of Latvia, slightly limited its impact to ....well, Latvians and thouse who could interpret from their knowledge of and ability to assimilate Curonian, Semigallian and Selonian. Quite clever of you.

NEXT:
I wish I could build a Superboy robot.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, but as soon as you activate it, it hears a cry for help from the Andromeda Galaxy, busts through your roof, flying off, never to return.

I wish I had an apple pie waiting for me at home.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted, but it one of those McDonald's apple pie-like things that's really not mouch more than plump pop-tart.

NEXT:
I wish Jake Gyllenhaal would be at my house making an apple pie for me when I got there.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, When you walk in, the aroma of the pie overwhelms your senses and all you can think about is the pie. You don't even notice when Mr. Gyllenhaal leaves.

I wish I could buy a whole new wardrobe for myself.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
You are an evil, evil genie.

You can ... at the salvation army. Don't worry, a little bleach will kill whatever's growing in those soiled khakis.

NEXT:

I wish i could... umm ... break in the new employee who started working here this week.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. He is now a pair of comfy shoes.


I wish I had a better self-image.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. You now own the most perfect mirror in the world. You can't get a better self-image.

I wish there is something good to watch on television tonight
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Previously in this thread:
I wish the cute guy who's in the locker room at the same time I am every morning would start using smaller towels.

Granted, and you are horribly disappointed.

Sorry, Genie, but there was no disappointment this morning.

Granted:
It's a Wonderful Life will be on at 7:00 and 9:00 and 11:00. it will be on CBS and HBO, ESPN and C-span.
It will be on every station at all hours.

I wish towel-guy (referenced above) would join me for a shower in the lockerroom tomorrow.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! They're throwing a surprise "Jack-and-Jill" baby shower in the lockerroom and you're both invited!

I wish soap opera hunk Ty Treadway would show up at my door and pledge his undying love for me.
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted, soap opera hunk Ty Treadway shows up at your door and pledges his undying love for you, taking the usual five season's with cliff-hangers, mysterious no-body found disappearances and assorted liasons before realizing he is really a sheep in a man's body and that he prefers sweaters: all without ever crossing your door's threshold leaving you an emotional institutionalized wreck worthy of another five season's of cliff-hangers, myst.....

I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted.

In 1993 we all had merry Christmases, and 2017 will be a hell of a new year here at LW.

I wish to star in the sequel to Brokeback Mountain with Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger -- playing their mutual love interest.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. The sequel will begin production 50 years from now.

I wish it was 70 degrees in Boston today.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:

It's 70 degrees Kelvin, I think that's rought -330 degrees Fahrenheit. Let the cats in.

I wish I had a glass of water.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, you have a glass of toilet water. It smells so sweet.


I wish I was Jake Gyllenhall in Brokenback Mountain
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:

Meanwhile, Jake Gyllenhaal and I are re-enacting some of the scenes from Brokeback Mountain.

I wish Tamper Lad would post in the Nasty Genie thread today.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. Tamper Lad posted in this thread, but being a nasty genie, I altered history so he didn't, just to be mean.

I wish I could teleport.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, you are able to teleport the distance of 1 billionth of 1 billionth of an inch. It takes 4 days to successfully teleport.

I wish Rockhopper Lad had a pet penguin.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted!

Unfortunately, Rockhopper Lad's other pet, Hyvvie the Wonder Beagle, isn't willing to give up his priviledged place, so RhL regretfully must give the little penguin up and leaves him with his good friend Quislet, Esq.

I wish I could get all my Christmas cards addressed.
 

---

Posted by Ladrhino Boy on :
 
Granted:

They're all going to Komi reindeer herders in Siberia. The postage wil be approximately $28,524.73 (US). The cards will get there in mid-July. All of your non-Siberian friends will shun you for your thoughlessness -- they were really looking forward to your cards.

I wish I were a better dancer.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted!

You now can dance the macarena better than anyone on earth!

I wish I had better handwriting.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:

You can make a perfect capital "X" and lower case "w".

I wish today were a federal holiday in the United States.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, The holiday is called "Working Day" It is celebrated by going into work, working through lunch, and then for 3 more hours without overtime pay.

I wish I could really live on Legion World
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted.

Unfortunately, shortly after you became a cyber-person, there was a server reboot and all of your existence was jettisoned.

I wish Jeff and I could get together for "lunch" tomorrow.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. You and Jeff "lunch" together tomorrow. It is the worst "lunch" you have ever had. It is so bad that you seriously consider giving up "lunch" forever.

I wish I would stop ruining Lad Boy's wishes.
 

---

Posted by Hey you on :
 
Granted. But you instead wind up continually ruining the wishes of Gary and Scott, who banish you from LW in retaliation - and wind up cyber-stalking you, stealing your identity, ruining your credit and making your life miserable.

I wish I had thought of a better response.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
You did, but it was so complex to express that it overpowered the server on which Legion World resides. As a result Gary and Scott banish you from LW in retaliation - and wind up cyber-stalking you, stealing your identity, ruining your credit and making your life miserable.

I wish I had change for a dollar.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, you now have two pennies for your dollar.

I wish I could look good in spandex
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted
You look like Dream Girl, voluptuous and dead.

I wish I were 29 again.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. You are twenty-nine years old. Bad news is that you're also now a cocker spaniel.

I wish Lad Boy (no longer a cocker spaniel) were with me at midnight New Year's Eve for a kiss.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted, but now I'm a Great Dane.

I wish a comic convention were being held in DC or Baltimore and that Waid, Kitson, and all the Legion Worlders would show up.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, unfortunately, you have to be out-of-town that weekend.

I wish we could all meet Lad Boy
 

---

Posted by Hey you on :
 
Granted, but we learn he's really John Byrne.

I wish we can all do San Diego this summer.
 

---

Posted by Povolero on :
 
Granted, but it has herpes.

I wish Rob Liefeld would never ever work on a book I read.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted, Barry Kitson and Pascal Ferry now draw in the style of Rob Liefeld.

I wish I had never ordered yellow lycra bike shorts.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, you ordered the purple shorts instead, but they were all out and sent you a lovely yellow pair.

I wish I were a pair of lycra bike shorts that Lad Boy is wearing.
 

---

Posted by disaster boy on :
 
granted. but he hasn't taken them off for days. (holiday sloth) and he had a baaaaaad case of food poisoning from some holiday buffet, not to mention all the cheese he has been eating. <stinky>

(you're not into that are you?)



i wish i had a nice new apartment, for cheap!
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
granted, it's in my inlaws basement in extremely rural alabama.

I wish disaster boy hadn't painted such a vivid picture in his last post.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. He instead took a photograph (ewww!).

I wish I could stay in Florida with my folks for another week.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
Unfortunately, you'll be hunkered down with Rockhopper Ma and Rockhopper Pa in a subterranean storm shelter as category 5 hurricanes delta, gamma and epsilon dramatically lower the peninsula's property values. Enjoy the bottled water and stale saltines.

I wish I were hunkered down in a storm shelter with the Prince of Penguins.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. Unfortunately my folks are still there, watching our every move.

I wish there were a nice, reasonably priced, place to have lunch near where I work.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, there is a nice, reasonably-priced place to have lunch near your work. The food is good too. It is owned, run, & staffed by all your exs & one-night stands. Also your mom is the cashier, so she insists that you eat there everyday.

I wish Lad Boy, Rockhopper Lad, & I were alone in a nicely furnished apartment
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
But we're so tired from entertaining Jake Gyllenhall, Orlando Bloom, and Ed Norton, that we hardly have the energy to speak to each other.
(Oh that's not nasty enough...umm...and we all have bad hair.)

I wish more attractive men in the hotel across the street from my office were as uninhibited about nudity as I am when I'm changing into my bike gear at the end of the day.
 

---

Posted by disaster boy on :
 
granted. except your voyerism is caught on camera and aired on the nightly news. i think your in-laws tuned in.

i wish i were in lad boy's office at the end of the day.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, you suddenly appear in Lad Boy's office at 11:59 pm. You trigger all sorts of alarms and are arrested. Lad Boy is at home, of course, but discusses the break-in with his co-workers the next day.

I wish Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, Karl Rove, & Dick Cheney would be caught naked and together in a motel room.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! Unfortunately, they are caught by Fox News who keep it to themselves, lest someone should think ill of the Republican Party.

I wish the media really did have a liberal bias.

[ January 04, 2006, 03:08 PM: Message edited by: Rockhopper Lad ]
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, however the news still gets distorted.

I wish more people would write limericks in the Limericks thread.
 

---

Posted by Polar Boy Esq on :
 
Granted but unfortunetly they delete instead of post.


I wish John Howard would die.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, He will die, just not yet.


I wish all the anti-gay people in the world would be gay for 2 years.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted, however all of the formerly gay people in the world have become celibate for two years.

I wish my wife liked opera.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. She keeps playing Nixon in China over and over and over.

I wish people would stop staying "liberry" and "liberrian".
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, They will now sing those words to you in their best opera voices.


I wish there was an opera I liked
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. You like The Flying Dutchman; unfortunately, you are now obsessed with the rest of Wagner's works and spend all your money buying every recording of his entire canon.

I wish Quislet and Lad Boy could post here on weekends and holidays.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted,

They now work on weekends and holiday and have the rest of the week off.

I wish I was independently wealthy
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted,

You're a greedy, bigoted, gay-bashing, far right wing conservative Republican bastard, and you live in Oklahoma. You're giving millions to support the presidential campaign of Condoleeza Rice.

I Stoney's, the bar across the street, hadn't gone out of business last week.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, It never opened. You have no fond memories of the times you spent there.

I wish I ate better.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
Your table manners are impeccable. People are impressed that you actually know which fork to use for the Protean rectal tissue course at the Talokian Thanksgiving feast.

I wish I had Lemnos' power to make people forget meeting me.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted.

Unfortunately, no one at all remembers you. Hey! Who the hell are you?

I wish Brokeback Mountain had a happy ending.
 

---

Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
 
Granted.

Unfortunately, it was written and directed so poorly, it disappointed you more than the original ending, and it dashed all the film's awards potential.

I wish reality shows ceased to exist.
 

---

Posted by Tamper Lad on :
 
Granted,

In the final episode it is revealed that our existence is a reality show for beings of a higher order of conciousness. No longer needed our universe is terminated when the magnetic tape storing us is degaussed.

I wish that I could be happy with the outcome of the Canadian election on Monday.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted, the only thing on TV now is informercials for herbal supplements.

I wish I could play the guitar.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Cool. Doubles.

Tamper:
Granted:
You will be on "happy pills" on Monday, so you'll be happy about everything.

Lad Boy (great to have you here on a weekend night!): Granted! You can play the guitar very badly.

I wish I could get motivated to exercise more.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, you are now motivated to exercise, but you no longer have the time to exercise.

I wish I had the Lost season two DVD right now.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, you do have the early release of Lost Season II - but disc 2 is blank because the final episodes haven't been filmed yet. For a mere $98.95 each, you can order those episodes as they are released.

I wish all future San Francisco summers would be warm and sunny every day.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Grantd, however at night the temperature drops to 30 below zero with rain and snow. And of course that is the only time you can walk your dogs. Plus your yearly fuel bill triples.

I wish I was a pampered pet.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted. You are now the premiere inhabitant of little Emily Duchesne's slug and snail terrarium. She loves her little slimy creatures so much and feeds them only the very best corn meal (they're tastier that way when she has guests over for escargot.)

I wish Quislet would post a picture of himself in Harvard Square wearing a vintage Coco Chanel outfit, complete with matching pumps and handbag -- nd don't forget the pillbox hat.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, Quislet in a vintage Coco Chanel Outfit with Pillbox hat

The library is in Harvard Square and the pumps and handbag (not shown) did match. (would I lie to you?) The pillbox hat is a little oversized. Didn't Quislet do a good job? You'd never know it was him, would you?

I wish I could watch a private meeting between Semi & Lad Boy.

[ January 24, 2006, 12:37 PM: Message edited by: Quislet, Esq. ]
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. Poor Lad Boy! All alone, crossing the street and he's hit by a semi!

I wish that when I got home tonight, I would find Ty Treadway waiting for me with dinner ready.
 

---

Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
 
Granted! But he's not greeting you as a guest or a cook - he is dinner, cooked up by cannibals!

I wish I had a job with a shorter commute and shorter hours.
 

---

Posted by PolarBoy on :
 
Granted. George W Bush comes to your house 4 days a week and all you have to do is squeeze pimples on his naked ass.


I wish i had a pony.
 

---

Posted by Ghost of Numf El on :
 
Granted.
Imported especially for you from France, between two slices of bread.

I wish I'd found this rather fun thread earlier.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted, you found this thread in August of 2005, but you laughed so hard at Semi's and Quislet's first posts you spewed your venti cappucino all over your computer. You've been waiting for five months for Dell to mail your replacement.

I wish I had tied a four-in-hand knot instead of a half-Windsor this morning. I hate breaking in a new tie.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, you tied a four-in-hand knot. Unfortunately, you tied it so tight, limiting your oxygen supply, that you pass out and hit your head on your dresser. When you come to, you don't remember who you are. You wander the streets for days, living out of garbage cans.

I wish I could travel all over the world
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
You're Condoleeza Rice.

I wish Quislet were Secretary of State.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted!

He's the best darn secretary Mr. State ever had. I understand he takes great dictation!

I wish Lad Boy were President of the United States.
 

---

Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
 
Granted!

but TPTB give him a Texas-sized lobotomy so no one notices the transition.

I wish weekends were three days long.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, Saturday is now broken into 2 twelve hour long days, Saturday I and Saturday II.

I wish I hadn't forgotten my Coca Cola this morning.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
You forgot your pants instead.

I wish Coca Cola were sweetened with sugar instead of corn sweetener.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! Unfortunately, it's only available in Europe and in areas of the United States with large Jewish populations during Passover. And I'm not making that up!!!

I wish more people would attend library programs.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, Library programs are now attended by the guests and audience members of the Jerry Springer show. Fights routinely break out and there is always a lot of whooping and hollering.

I wish Lad Boy had forgotten his pants this morning.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted,

Walking about the streets of DC pantsless during the unseasonably cold weather has rendered me ... disappointing.

I wish my friend John had been free for lunch today.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! I was free and waiting for you, but you never showed up.

I wish I could meet Lad Boy for lunch.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, you could meet Lad boy for lunch, but he keeps standing you up.

I wish I had an all expense paid vacation to a 5 star resort in the South Pacific.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted, you arrive 15 minutes before the insurrection.

I wish I had ridden my bike to work today.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. You rode your bike to work. Unfortunately, you neglected to lock it and it was stolen.

I wish at least one of the guys on whom I've had a crush over the years reciprocated the affection.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, the guy you had the biggest crush on reciprocated. Getting close to him you discover that his one hobby is going on penguin hunts. He shows you all the stuffed & mounted penguins he has killed. He insists that you accompany him on his next hunt. (you discover all this after you had sex with him)

I wish everyone from Legion World could attend the San Diego con this year.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted,
We are all there for the earthquake that submerges part of the city and changes us into subaquatic beings. Kinda cool except that we can't get to the CBS to buy the Legion anymore.

I wish that Warren Ellis and Mark Millar would take over as the creative team for The Authority again.
 

---

Posted by Brainiac 5 on :
 
Granted.
However, due to Millar's other committments, you can expect the first new issue to hit the shelves sometime in 2009.

I wish that the X-Men titles had a more consistent continuity.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! Every issue is now exactly the same.

I wish the cute guy who sits next to me in choir would ask me out.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Rockhopper Lad:
Granted! Every issue is now exactly the same.

I wish the cute guy who sits next to me in choir would ask me out.

---

Granted, he asks you out so you can meet his sister.

I wish there were friendly extra-terrestials
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted - there are - but you'll never meet them because they're afraid of us unfriendly earthlings.

I wish I could teleport.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
You can teleport youself at will 1 full Angstrom in any direction .

I wish STF was 1 Angstrom away from me.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Oh hell, I'm just going to grant your wish. Sometimes the Genie just needs to get "nasty."
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Yes, umm, welll, err *straightening tie, and catching breath*

Next:

I wish someone would shovel the snow from my driveway.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, they shovel all the snow into your house.

I wish I was an Olympic athlete (male)
 

---

Posted by minesurfer on :
 
Granted

Your event is shoveling the snow out of Lad Boy's house and back into his drive way. It must look freshly "fallen" for you to medal.

Next:

I wish I was an all-powerful villain.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:

You're Dick Cheney.

Next:

I wish Smoked Turkey and Brie was half-priced at Cosi today.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, Smoked Turkey and Brie is half-priced at Cosi today - the batch they found in the back room left unrefrigerated for the last two weeks. Enjoy.

I wish Dick Cheney could shoot straight.
 

---

Posted by Tamper Lad on :
 
Granted, its now open season on lawyers who didn't vote Republican.


I wish Dick Cheney would do something useful.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted, He's an expert marksman. You and Hillary are invited to his next quail hunt in Texas.

I wish that when David emailed me last month for the first time in nearly two years, he had been interested in something besides bicycle commuting.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, not only did David want to discuss bicycle commuting, he also wanted to share with you his profound new interest in Reverend Moon's Unification Church.

NEXT:

I wish Tamper Lad would post pictures of himself in his Evil Genius Laboratory.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
He actually has green skin and was Kitson's inspiration for Braininc 5.

NEXT:
I wish Micro Lad's brother would join the legion as "Lad Boy."
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted:

Micro Lad brother is now Lad Boy. His power is limited to shrinking giant bicycles. Kitson championed his inclusion over the objection of Waid, which led to the break-up of their creative team. Kitson leaves and DC fills the vacancy with an out-of-work Josie and the Pussycats artist. -- Hey, he was available and cheap.

NEXT:

I wish the next poster would tell me what's really going on in the LSH cover with Dawnstar, Tyroc and Bloc.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted.

They're mostly just standing there.


I wish I had kept in contact with more of my friends over the years.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. Unfortunately they have all put the touch on you.

I wish we could have another blizzard today.
 

---

Posted by Tamper Lad on :
 
Granted, it gets so bad FEMA is called in. Then the real trouble begins.


I wish that Valentine's day didn't suck.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, Valentine's Day doesn't suck --- it blows.

I wish the brief I'm working on would get magically and brilliantly written before the end of the day.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, It is magically and brilliantly written --- in Ancient Etruscian. You spend the rest of the day looking for a translator, who ends up costing you thousands of dollars (the court ultimately decides that you can't pass that fee onto your client)

I wish I had a really good book to read.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, you do -- "The Secrets of Immortality" -- and it too is written in Ancient Etruscan. Unfortunately, the only translator of Ancient Etruscan is now on exclusive retainer with me -- and I'm not sharing.

I wish Quislet would get a tatoo of Brittany Spears on his bum.

[ February 14, 2006, 10:44 AM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted - - Oh wait! There already is one there.

Please make another wish.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
I wish Brittany Spears would get a tattoo of Quislet on her bum.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted - Brittany now has a tatoo of Quislet on her left cheek. It makes a lovely compliment to the tatoo of Lad Boy on her right cheek. Unfortunately, her husband is incensed and goes gunning for Quislet and Lad Boy.

I wish Quislet and Lad Boy would find the perfect hiding place.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! Rockhopper Lad has given them refuge at the Pyngwyny Consulate. Ol' Kevin can't lay a finger on them there. Oh wait, the nasty thing. And we all have bad hair (or feathers).

I wish Semi would join us at the Consulate.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, but my hair is so fabulous that you all become despondent and start abusing prescription drugs. How unattractive!!!

I wish Rockhopper could kick his habit and have his well deserved debut as Pinkerton at the Met.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! After applying a good boot in the posterior to a nun's outfit he owns for no apparent reason (he doesn't actually wear clothes, remember), he'll be playing the role Pinkerton the Butler in the new opera version of the short-lived 1980s sitcom Madame's Place, premiering at the new opera house in Metropolis, Illinois (population 6,482). Worse yet, the part was written for a baritone!

Hey wait a minute! I was just nasty to myself!

I wish there were an LMB comic book.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. It soon outsells the Legion of Superheroes. People stop buying Legion in favor of the LMB comic book and DC cancels Legion.

I wish Katie Holmes would wake up and smell the coffee.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Katie Holmes Quislet woke up in your (her husband's) bed this morning smelling the coffee (Sanka? yuk!) that you've vowed to make for her, your new bride, every day for the rest of your life.

NEXT:

I wish that the Baltimore Comic Con would be relocated to DC, and that all Legion Worlders would attend and stay in the hotel across the street from my office.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. On the way into the office on the first day of the convention, you are carjacked and forced to drive three white trash white supremists to Montana.

I wish Semi Transparent Fellow is able to start a wildly successful private practice
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. Semi is wildly succesful at practicing in private.

I wish Lad Boy, Quislet, Semi and I were neighbours.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted. Unfortunately we have neighboring cells on death row at San Quentin.

I wish America would abolish the death penalty.
 

---

Posted by Brainiac 5 on :
 
Granted. Now all the homeless commit formerly capital crimes and insure themselves 3 hots and a cot for the rest of their lives.


I wish that spirituality would replace religion as the motivating moral force in people's lives.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
However gluttony has replced lust as the motivating immoral force in people's lives. So the world is full of good natured, peaceful fat people who, when the urge to be a little wild strikes, eat a whole box of twinkies.

I wish I had a twinkie.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, It is the newest flavor of Twinkies - vomit flavor

I wish I had a dvd set of every cartoon Warner Brothers ever made.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, you now do. All you need now is a dvd player to play them on since they are all encoded for obscurere Region X-11, for which no dvd players exist.

I wish Quislet would get a job with the U.S. Attorneys Office.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
It's in the District of Columbia, so you'll only get to see him when you come to visit me. (Anyone who can't see the implicit nastiness in that has not read our previous postings.)

I wish Will's office mate would leave soon.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted - Will's office mate does leaving soon, taking Will with him.

I wish I could enjoy my job.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. You have a job where you have a lot of fun. Unfortunately, it pays minimum wage.

I wish my condo were all back together and dry.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, However, DOnald Trump has taken over your condo in a hostile take over. He will be living with you from now on.

I wish someone would figure out my latest Legion Jumble
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Someone has - Reep. But he's not allowed to post here anymore.

I wish Quislet would get a new laptop and internet service at his home.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
He even has high speed internet access at home. He can afford this because he is a senior partner at Boston's prestigious Goodwin Procter Law firm. Unfortunately he must spend all his time either in his office or in court, so he never gets to visit Legion World.

I wish I could find my debit card.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted!
You found it using a super-telescope. It's currently orbiting Jupiter.

I wish I had some sushi.
 

---

Posted by Caliente on :
 
Granted!

The sushi you get is no good and you get heinous food poisining that lands you in the hospital.

I wish that I had a boyfriend who was a good guy, kind-hearted, not gay, loving, intelligent, faithful, exciting, healthy, fun-loving and who I have an awesome mutual attraction with. Oh, and good sex.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted and on top of that he's innocent. But you can't prove it because the Patriot Act and questionable executive powers allow your boyfriend to be held incommunicado and without legal representation at Guantanamo Bay. That stupid scratchy quality wire-tap!!! He said "I enjoyed your twin towers," not "I destroyed the twin towers."

(Okay, I went overboard.)

I wish I wasn't so excitable.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
You are 99.99% as excitable as you were at 3:02 p.m. easter time.

NEXT:
I wish that I had a boyfriend who was a good guy, kind-hearted, gay, loving, intelligent, faithful, exciting, healthy, fun-loving and who I have an awesome mutual attraction with. Oh, and good sex.
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted and on top of that he's innocent. But you can't prove it because the Patriot Act and questionable executive powers allow your boyfriend to be held incommunicado and without legal representation at Guantanamo Bay. That stupid scratchy quality wire-tap!!! He said "I enjoyed your twin towers," not "I destroyed the twin towers."

I wish I knew why that seems so familiar.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
It's because you're my ex-boyfriend. Say hi to Fidel.

I wish Barry Kitson would draw a spoof of the cover of LSH #1 with Legion Worlders in the place of the Legionnaires.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. Unfortunately, DC now owns the rights to all our characters.

I wish Brokeback Mountain had won the Best Picture Oscar.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, in a surprize upset, the newly discovered Ed Wood's Brokeback Mountain won best picture. It was the story about a traveling blacksmith in the Ozark mountains who had a fetish for angora sweaters. The corpse of Bela Lugosi also won Best Actor.

I wish the sequel to Batman Begins is as good as Batman Begins.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, the sequel to Batman Begins is as good as Batman Begins - and all five people who see the finished version agree. Unfortunately, due to studio in-fighting, the movie gets shelved and isn't released until the national archives seizes the footage as an important historical socialogical statement in the year 2095.

I wish that Quislet would wear his green turban every day at the San Diego Con.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. Unfortunately, he's wearing it to hide Voldemort.

I wish I had my Internet connection back at home.
 

---

Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
 
Granted, but now you're working 16 hour days, seven days a week, and never get to use it.

I wish that I had a girlfriend who was a good girl, kind-hearted, not gay, loving, intelligent, faithful, exciting, healthy, fun-loving and who I have an awesome mutual attraction with. Oh, and good sex.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, you do have such a girlfriend. However, her brothers, who are bad, mean-spirited, gay, hateful, unloyal, boring, sickly, dull and who detest you, are really pissed that you are doing it with their sister. Better run, they've got guns.

I wish Kent would lower his expectations from a relationship and still find happiness.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted, Kent's expectations are so low that he can find happiness on the DC boards. He never returns to Legion World.

I wish Congress would retroactively repeal the alternative minimum tax.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, the AMT is now retroactively repealed. Unfortunately, there is such a backlog (and the really wealthy get their refunds first) that your refund isn't processed until after your death. Your children will enjoy the $120, though.

NEXT:

I wish my dog's health problem would clear up.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
Your dog couldn't be healthier. The vet bill is $6,000 with ongoing costs of $10,000 ~ $20,000 per year, but don't fret; I'll help you out as soon as I get my full AMT refund.

I wish I had a cold beer right now.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted, but since you're at work, you can't drink it.

I wish I had a Slinky.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Rockhopper Lad:
Granted, but since you're at work, you can't drink it.

---

ummm...yeah ... right

Granted:
You have slinky entangled in your flippers. You are the laughing stock of Antarctica.

I wish upcoming business trips were to somepace more fun than Dothan, Alabama and Kenosha, Wisconsin.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, Your next business trips are to Mykonos, Las Vegas, and Rio De Janeiro (during Carnival) However, your new no nonsense boss accompanies you and makes sure that you are working the whole time. But you have a nice view of people having fun from your hotel window.

I wish I had maid service at my home.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted, a maid (who smells of cigarettes and cheap booze) cleans your room at your new home in the Motel 6 every other day.

I wish could read and speak Chinese and Spanish.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, you've been retconned as the love child of Mao Tse Tung and Imelda Marcos. Her spanish wasn't so hot, but you have a great shoe collection.

I wish for peace in Iraq.
 

---

Posted by Everyday Girl on :
 
Ohmygod, Granted! But, Chimp Boy decides to pacify the evangelicals by invading San Fran to prevent the "Gay Agenda" from over-running this country with common sense. The Storm troopers are at your door...

I wish cheerleading would be abolished!
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
Cheerleading is abolished, Glee Club is mandatory for everyone, for life!

I wish I had a box of Altoids.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted, only they're not curiously strong mints. Now that glee club is mandatory for everyone for life, older women whose alto voices have headed south are now called "Altoids". Enjoy them.

I wish I had more time to do the things I need to get done.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted: But you have no time to visit Legion World.

I wish Tamper Lad would come fix my under-cabinet lights in the kitchen.

[ March 15, 2006, 01:10 PM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, He fixes them to be strobing black lights.

I wish I didn't have to interview in order to get a job I like and that pays well.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted - you're offered a job you'd really like that pays $150,000 per year. Only problem is that it's in Antarctica.

I wish we could get Quislet really drunk in San Diego in July.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, you get Quislet really drunk in San Diego in July. His personality changes due to the alcohol. He becomes beligerent and wild. He steals a car and in the high speed chase crashes. He becomes a quadrapelgic.

I wish I had a working Star Trek type teleportation system so I could take that job in Antartica
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted: you now have a working Star Trek type teleportation device but a penguin enters the molecular stream at the same time and you are left for the summer season sliding around ice flows on your belly and avoiding white sharks until the new shows of the Fall resolve the cliffhanger.

I wish I could take a few weeks off of teaching to watch the NCAA basketball tournament.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted, but your students keep calling during the game to ask you questions.

I wish for a $5000 gift certificate to IKEA.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, The certificate is only good on Feb 31st.

I wish I had a machine that lets me watch historical events.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, you have a new tv/dvd combo unit stocked with CBS's coverage of the historical Watergate Hearings. Hey, you didn't say you wanted to choose which events to look at.

I wish I had a machine that lets me watch any events that occurred on this planet at any time in it's history.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, but the picture is snowy and there is always lots of static.

I wish I knew the truth about the Mary Celeste, the murder of Lizzie Broden's parents, & who the Man in the Iron Mask was.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted the truth about the Mary Celeste, the murder of LIzzie Borden's parent and the man in the iron mask comes to you in a dream. However, even you don't believe it.

I wish the White House would open it's doors to all the homeless people in America, and provide them with shelter during the winter months.
 

---

Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
 
Granted! However, this leads to a 200% increase in taxes. Hey, not even the government has that much money to burn.

I wish for world peace.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. There is no war on Legion World.

I wish life were fair.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, the world is fair. Tomorrow, it will be partly cloudy with a possibility of showers in the evening.

I wish Jeannie from "I dream of Jeannie" was my personal genie.
 

---

Posted by Brainiac 5 on :
 
Granted. However, Barbara Eden calls the police and you are arrested on kidnapping and false imprisonment charges.

I wish that I could work at my favorite job and still make the money I do at my current job.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. In addition to your favorite job, you are also employed by the Bureau of Engraving and Printing where you indeed make the money you now earn.

I wish I had a hunky houseboy to cook and clean for me.
 

---

Posted by legionadventureman on :
 
GRANTED: But you learn that your hunky houseboy is your long-lost mother whom you haven't seen in twenty years!

I wish I could make things disappear
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, but they re-appear 2 seconds later.

I wish the US would get over itself and realize that gay couples have a right to get married.
 

---

Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
 
Granted, but only two gay couples (the minumum plaral, as your wish did not include quantities) are allowed to: PeeWee Herman and David Hasselhoff, and Tom Cruise and your ex.

I wish all LWers could make it to San Diego this year.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted; however, we're not all there at the same time, and none of us are there for the con.

I wish I had a plate of steamed broccoli.
 

---

Posted by Mattropolis on :
 
Granted, but it fell on the floor and your dog peed on it...

I wish to be beautiful
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, you are beautiful... on the inside where it counts (like your mother always told you). A homicidal maniac chases you with a knife to see if you truly are beautiful on the inside.

I wish I could do whatever I wanted without any repercussions.
 

---

Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
 
Granted, but most of the world winds up hating you, and your vice president shoots his buddy while hunting.

I wish I could take a six-month vacation and travel the world.
 

---

Posted by sheer on :
 
Granted, but you will be traveling with a merciless spouse and children who prevent you from seeing what you want to see, and spend time and your money shopping and watching pay-per-view in hotels. And whining "when do we go home?"

I wish I were super-organized and super-disciplined.
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted, you are both super-organized and super-disciplined but the only team that will let you join is the Legion of Substitute Accountants.

I wish tonights men's basketball tourney games had been more competitive.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, however the energy needed to make the game retroactively more competitive caused a communications blackout over the whole country. The games were not telecasted.

I wish I could travel where I want to, when I want to, at no cost.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! You no longer have any desire to leave your house.

I wish I were so beautiful I could have attitude.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
You look like Farrah Fawcett circa 1977. Lee Majors want to divorce you.

I wish I had remembered to get my grell-era Legion comics from home when I was there last week.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Lad Boy's back!!! Yay!!!

*Ahem*

Granted! Unfortunately, you dropped them all in a big mud puddle as you left the house and each one was covered.

I wish for greater understanding among the nations of the world.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted
Each nation now understands the economic and military weaknesses of of Papua New Guinea.

I wish Legionadventureman well.
 

---

Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
 
Granted! He now has a hole in the ground full of water!

I wish that I get a job I enjoy that pays the bills.
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted you now enjoy a job that pays the bills but now that they see you have money the chrises, the steves, and the wallies make your home life hell with persistant collection calls.

I wish gas prices would come down a dollar a gallon.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. The price of neon gas has come down a dollar a gallon.

I wish I hed less stress.
 

---

Posted by sheer on :
 
Granted. You lose your job, go on unemployment insurance and can surf the net all day if you wish. Unfortunately, the constant leisure time saps your will to do anything but surf.

I wish I had a free to me, legally-acquired, clean, fine copy of every comic book ever printed.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. Unfortunately, the storage space needed to house all those comics is so expensive that you have to sell 99.9 percent of the comics to afford it.

I wish my dog could speak English.
 

---

Posted by Sketch Lad on :
 
Granted!
Your dog can speak English but it doesn't really like you and refuses to speak to you.

I wish that beautiful music filled the air.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, Beautiful music fills the air... played on dog whistles.

I wish more legion worlders would come to the San Diego comic con this year.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. More Legion Worlders come to the San Diego comic con this years than little old ladies named Agatha Zaccagnini from Schenectady do.

I wish there were a good Vietnamese restaurant in walking distance of my workplace, which is located in Houston, Texas.
 

---

Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
 
Granted. After the Vietnamese invasion of Texas, they put you to work in a slave labor camp. You often think how nice it would be if you could leave the camp and dine in the nice new restaurant across the street.

I wish that there were new, high-quality stories featuring the continuing adventures of the pre-5YL Legion being published and that I could enjoy reading them every month.
 

---

Posted by Sketch Lad on :
 
Granted! You enjoy the new, high quality stories featuring the continuing adventures of the pre-5YL Legion, but you are the only one who receives these issues. So no one knows what you're talking about when you come online to discuss them. No one gets your jokes.

Naturally, we're all jealous and request for you to copy the pages and send them to us, to scan and post images on the website. This becomes a terrible hassle for you, so you end up just not talking about it anymore. Sad on many levels. Sigh.


I wish there were no more traffic hassles!
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. All automobiles have been banned.

I wish wars would cease in all the world.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, Earth is visited by the pacifists of Ironic IV. They fire their "war no more" ray. A soft pearly white light encircles the globe. The pacifists leave happy in the knowledge that all war has ceased on Earth. The next alien visitors are able to decypher the phrase "war no more" that was etched on this barren lifeless rock in space.

I wish I had more good books to read and the time to read them.
 

---

Posted by sheer on :
 
Granted. The Twilight Zone/Burgess Meredith curse kicks in, and you are rendered unable to read your wealth of good books although you have all the time in the world.

I wish sugar tasted unpleasant.
 

---

Posted by Sketch Lad on :
 
Granted! Sugar tastes unpleasant, but you still can't stop eating it. So now, you get all the negative consequences, like fat and tooth decay, but you don't get the lovely sweet memory attached.

I wish there was no classism.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! The Western concept of "class" has been replaced by a very strict caste system.

I wish the cool dream that I had last night, in which most of my friends and I were superheroes, were reality.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
However, the other dream -- where you show up at school in your underwear only to find that your calculus class has been moved to another building, and today is the final exam -- is true, too -- and your so-called friend Calculus King has already turned in his test and left the room.

I wish giving up caffeine didn't make me so cranky, dammit!
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. It makes you whiney instead.

I wish I could speak & understand a second language fluently.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
You speak French perfectly, and you pepper your English conversation with french phrases. People think you are a pretentious language snob and refuse to talk to you in English or French.
Auf wiedersehen.

I wish I had a cup of coffee.
 

---

Posted by sheer on :
 
Granted. You now have a perfect cup of coffee. The remainder of your possessions, including your clothes, vanish to maintain cosmic balance.

I wish History was a more popular subject in school.

[ April 19, 2006, 12:00 PM: Message edited by: sheer ]
 

---

Posted by Sketch Lad on :
 
Granted!
History is more popular. However, looking back upon the past proves to create a grim future. With less science and math majors, there are less doctors and engineers, stagnating progress.

I wish for a bright future!
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
You've been launched into the sun. I hope you packed your SPF 10,000 sun screen.

I wish my agency's location were closer to Dupont Circle or Georgetown.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. Your agency has relocated to Georgetown, Massachusetts. A quiet little town where not much goes on.

I wish I were the Adam character in the movie Adam and Steve and Malcolm Gets would sweep me off my feet and marry me.
 

---

Posted by Sketch Lad on :
 
Granted! You're swept off your feet and crack your head on the ground. You end up in a coma, but at least you're married!

I wish mermaids were real.
 

---

Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
 
Granted!

Now everyone on Earth is a mermaid. And yes, that includes the guys, too.

I wish I could be the only merman on this new world.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. You are now Ethel Merman.

I wish my construction work on my condo would be finished today.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted it is finished today May 18, 2006. It was also done all wrong.

I wish I didn't have to search for a job.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted

You have a lifetime appointment as the press secretary for President Bush and his -- believe it or not -- even more unpalatable, infathomable successors. Have fun explaning their positions on gas prices, same sex-marriage, pension and health care reforms, and the environment.

I wish the incredibly cute biker I saw at the Bike-to-Work rally today would ... ummm ... bike in front of me more often.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lad Boy:
Granted

You have a lifetime appointment as the press secretary for President Bush and his -- believe it or not -- even more unpalatable, infathomable successors. Have fun explaning their positions on gas prices, same sex-marriage, pension and health care reforms, and the environment.

I wish the incredibly cute biker I saw at the Bike-to-Work rally today would ... ummm ... bike in front of me more often.

---

A lifetime appontment, eh? Then I can say whatever I want and not get fired. Cool!!!!!!!!

As for your wish:

Granted and each time he bikes in front of you, you stop paying attention to the road and ride into oncoming traffic. You routinely spend half the year in traction.

I wish there was more good news in the world.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. The bowl of Wheaties I had for breakfast was delicious. My dog is happy and healthy. I just got season one of Superboy on DVD (John Haymes Newton--woof! ). There's plenty of good news!

I wish I could tap dance.
 

---

Posted by Seth Gaterra on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Rockhopper Lad:
I wish I could tap dance.

---

Granted!
But you should have checked the color of those tap shoes... they happen to be red. And for some reason, you can't STOP tap dancing!

(A swipe from Hans Christian Andersen, I know. But it's a classic...)

My wish? I wish to be able to heal people, without having to take their wounds into myself.
 

---

Posted by KryptonKid on :
 
Granted. The good you do is real, but the enormity of the world's suffering is all yours to see. (How do you sleep at night?!!)

I wish I had Cuba Gooding, Jr.'s home phone number and knew his favorite flavor of Ben and Jerry's.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. Unfortunately, he's never home and is lactose intolerant.

I wish they'd make a new Star Trek series.
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted, but in neglecting to specify "they," the "nasty" genie chose its favorite director/writer/choreographer, Carrot Top.

I wish I had the entire run of "Barney Miller" on DVD.
 

---

Posted by KryptonKid on :
 
Granted. The complete Latvian-dubbed series, complete with "Fish" outtakes (from all 4 episodes of that beloved spinoff!) are yours. You do have a Latiantech-compatable DVD player, right?

I wish I could find the Red Kryptonite version of Viagra.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, It also causes you to smell like garbage that has been in the hot July sun for 7 days, your skin becomes the consistancy of broken glass, and you look like the Danny DeVito Penguin. And remember that Red Kryptonite only works one time.

I wish that everyone would do everything I tell them to.
 

---

Posted by KryptonKid on :
 
Granted. When you sang, "We wish you a Mary Christmas" everyone in the world turned nelly. No one procreated, the species came to an end, and the genie lived happily in solitary bliss.
(See THIS is why we can't have nice things!)

sigh. I wish I was having a Mary Christmas.


 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
You're spending Christmas with Mary Chapin Carpenter. Unfortunately, due to a lapse in judgement, Mary is under contract to perform a Christmas concert in southern Lebanon.

Next:

I wish I had a glass of water.
 

---

Posted by CJ Taylor on :
 
*poof* Here's your glass of water, brought to you straight from the salty Atlantic ocean.

Next:

"I wish I had a watermelon."
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. A watermelon the size of a whale drops out of the sky on top of you.

I wish that everyone looked beautiful when naked.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. The word beautiful now means "wearing no clothes".

I wish there were no greed in the world.
 

---

Posted by CJ Taylor on :
 
Granted. The human race has been extinguished.

Next:

I wish I had a pet penguin.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted: A recently resurrected Burgess Meredith is now your pet, and he likes to snuggle with you at bedtime.

Next:

I wish the cute guy cleaning my gutters right now would come inside for a decent interval with me.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. He comes inside and spends a very short interval, because he is very decent and would never do anything untoward .

I wish I had two more staff members.
 

---

Posted by Seth Gaterra on :
 
Granted! Unfortunately, they prove to be far better than you at your job, so you're fired when they take over the company.

I wish that I'd never run out of money.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted: You never run out of money; unfortunately, under the Bush administration's energey policies, the price of gas never stops increasing, so you never have enough money to pay for a tank of gas.

Next:
I wish Braininac 5 would travel back in time and change the results of the 2000 presidential elections so that Al Gore would carry the state of Florida.
 

---

Posted by CJ Taylor on :
 
Done! In the procees, he accidentally steps on a butterfly, costing Gore several other key states. And the rest is bloody history.

Next:

I wish there was Peace on Earth.
 

---

Posted by Caliente on :
 
Granted! After nuclear war and nuclear winter, the Earth and all her people are dead. Peace reigns supreme.

I wish to have a good, safe trip to the Dominican Republic without any hitches that is fun and educational.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. There will be no fun and educational hitches on your trip.

I wish I could be in Boston for the mini-meet-up Cali and the boys will be having.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, you have a good safe trip to the Dominican Republic. None of your hitches are fun and educational. Some are boring and educational. Others are just boring.

I wish I was going on a nice vacation trip to a nice place where I meet nice people and I do fun things.
 

---

Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
 
Granted, but the nice people all wind up hating you, the fun things prove to have long-term health consequences, and the nice place burns down, and you're blamed.

I wish I could permanently lose another 50 pounds.
 

---

Posted by Lance's realm on :
 
Granted - you lose 50 pounds when your chest and shoulders are removed in a freak meat-cleaver accident.

I wish I were smarter.
 

---

Posted by He Who Wanders on :
 
Granted! You have been guillotined.

I wish Farscape would be revived as an ongoing TV series.
 

---

Posted by He Who Wanders on :
 
Lance beat me to it.

Granted! You are smarter than your dog.

I wish Farscape would be revived as an ongoing TV series.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. However it has been recasted. Gary Coleman is playing John Crichton, Fran Drescher as Aeryn Sun, Carrot Top will be the new Chiana, Stan Lee is D'Argo, and the Olsen twins as Scorpius.

I wish I had enough money to live comfortably and not have to work.
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted you lucky dog you. You have enough money to live comfortably without having to work but you miss terribly your parents even as you spend the inheritence.

I wish I had been able to make it up to Montreal this summer for that Swartz' smoked meat sandwich I've just been CRAVING!!!
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. Unfortunately, there was a bit of salmolnella going around...

I still wish I could make it to Boston for the mini-meet-up with Cali, Quis, Cobie et al.
 

---

Posted by CJ Taylor on :
 
Granted. You make it to Montreal, and you even get that smoked meat sandwich. However, you get food poisoning from the rotten meat they smoked. man you can't even look at a piece of meat now without wanting to hurl.

Next:

I wish my Jeep was mechanically sound (again).
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted Rockhopper Lad, you make it to Boston, but can't find Caliente, Cobie, Quis, or any other Legion Worlder.

Granted CJ Taylor, Your Jeep is mechanically sound. The engine runs perfectly. However your jeep is no longer structurally sound. The floor boards are rusting out, the doors won't stay shut, and the windows won't roll down.

I wish there were no more multiple responses.
 

---

Posted by He Who Wanders on :
 
Granted! There are no more multiple responses because everyone has lost interest and is playing the Make a Sentence Out of the Word game.

I wish I could find a beautiful, caring woman to spend my life with.
 

---

Posted by Lance's realm on :
 
Granted! You find her, say hello to her, and are devoured by a pack of rabid wombats. Pretty short life...

I wish I had a bigger house.
 

---

Posted by He Who Wanders on :
 
(Drat those wombats!)

Granted! You have a bigger house, but you go into debt paying the mortgage and end up on the street.

I wish that I could write a comic book that would become hugely popular, earn me millions of dollars, and generate a franchise that will live on forever.
 

---

Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
 
Granted! but your beautiful, caring woman divorces you, and gets the rights in the settlement; and everyone winds up thinking you were ripping off her ideas all along.

I wish Greg Rucka and John Byrne would limit their work to Marvel, so they'd stop ruining characters I care(d) about.
 

---

Posted by He Who Wanders on :
 
Granted! Rucka and Byrne agree to work only for Marvel, but the characters you care(d) about are discontinued because no one else wants to use them.

I wish DC would "deboot" the Legion back to just after the Magic Wars and restore Superboy to the Legion's history.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! It will the best selling "Elseworld" of the year!

I wish I were more disciplined about exercise.
 

---

Posted by He Who Wanders on :
 
Granted! You are more disciplined about exercise: you steadfastly refuse to do it. As a result, you die young of obesity and TV addiction.

I wish I could write songs like Lennon & McCartney.
 

---

Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
 
Granted! But Apple Corp sues your ass for ripping them off, and you're blacklisted from the biz!

I wish wi-fi was available everywhere, for free
 

---

Posted by He Who Wanders on :
 
Granted! Wi-fi is now available everywhere for free, but now nobody ever talks to anybody, and people become even more rude, thoughtless, and self-absorbed.

I wish Apple Corps would hire me to write new songs so they could market them as "lost" Beatles music.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, but an obsessed Ringo Starr fan finds out after the first song is released and stalks you. After a deadly cat and mouse game, the stalker drives off a cliff. You feel relieved, but the stress has been too much and you suffer a fatal heart attack.

I wish when I get home there is a nice dinner waiting for me.
 

---

Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
 
Granted! But it's entirely tomato-based dishes!

I wish Quis and EDE appreciated the tomato the way decent- uh, many people do.
 

---

Posted by He Who Wanders on :
 
Granted! Quis and EDE now eat nothing but tomatoes. After awhile, they turn into giant tomatoes, a la Violet in "Willy Wonka." They blame you and sue you for every tomato-loving cent you've got.

I wish my central air was working so it would cool in here, instead of making me sweat.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted! Your central air works perfectly. It's a nice 70.5 degrees inside. Unfortunately, your county, using its recently enlarged powers of eminent domain, has decided to seize your home to allow for development of a shelter for abandoned kittens.

I wish I knew then what I know now.

[ August 09, 2006, 10:01 AM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. You knew .0005 seconds ago exactly what you know now.

I wish everyone would be kind to animals.
 

---

Posted by KryptonKid on :
 
Granted. Your hard-of-hearing genie made everyone "kindle for animals". Most species avoided the conflagration altogether, but there was a noticeable drop in the moth population.

I wish Ellen Degeneres would stop using my parking space.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, now Dick Cheney uses your parking space.

I wish Fat Cramer was dictator of the world.
 

---

Posted by He Who Wanders on :
 
Granted! Fat Cramer is now dictator of the world. Now she uses KryptonKid's parking space, and he refuses to speak to you ever again.

I wish my students would all come to class on time, be enthusiastic and engaged in the material, and leave only when the class is over.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! You are now teaching in Stepford, Connecticut.

I wish I had a glass of chianti.
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted, your glass of chianti came nicely chilled with a side of fava beans and liver: Phiphiphiphiphi.

I wish I were teaching in Stepford Connecticut so that my students would all come to class on time, be enthusiastic and engaged in the material, and leave only when the class is over.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted, however due to some tampering with a secret spy satellite, all of your students are deadly OMACs.

I wish someone would give me a complete set of the "Y: The Last Man" trade paperbacks.
 

---

Posted by He Who Wanders on :
 
Granted! But your "Y: The Last Man" trades contain multiple-page inserts for "X: The Next Mutant."

I wish the Nasty Genie would turn nice.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted. The genie has turned Nice, France into a replica of Akron, Ohio.

I wish I understood Andrew Wiles' proof of Fermat's Last Teorem.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, I have become so nice that I don't want to see anything bad happen to you so I am sealing you in a transparent plastic cube.


I wish that Hollywood would get creative and not rely on sequels and remakes.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granting Lad Boy's wish, you understand Andrew Wiles' proof of Fermat's Last theorem, but you can't explain it to anyone else, so no one believes that you understand it.

I wish Hollywood would get creative and not rely on sequels and remakes.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted, now they rely solely on product placement and merchandising tie-ins. Prepare for the 2008 release of "Superman II: Revenge of Lexus Luthor."

I wish the voices in my head would offer good stock tips instead of crazy non sequiturs.
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted but now you missed that non sequitur on Archer Daniel Midland and instead purchased a really nice milk cow.

I wish I could come up with some interesting ways to spend the last days of summer before school starts up again.
 

---

Posted by KryptonKid on :
 
Granted, which was fun until you remembered you don't swing that way...(But stand by for your toaster oven!)

I wish I was half as amusing as I seem to think I am.
 

---

Posted by Ravenette84 on :
 
Granted! but now you sound like Glibert Godfred, also an added side effect of smelling like aunt Unis's cat urin soaked couch therefor making few people want to spend time with you due to your annoying voice and odd smell, Dispite being oh so amusing.

I wish I always get what I want.
 

---

Posted by Seth Gaterra on :
 
Granted! But the things you wish for are magically stolen from other people... and they know you're responsible for their losses.

I wish that I was wiser.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted You are Joshua H. Wiser, homeless prophet inhabiting the Farragut and McPherson Parks in Washington, DC. People walk great distances to avoid your unsolicited widsom.

I wish I had gotten my PhD when I was in myu 20's.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted!

You got a PhD in Serbo-Croatian literature and have yet to find a tenure-track position, so you have taken a job flipping burgers to get by.

I wish I were more outgoing.
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted, your new outhouse is a throwback to an early appalacian standard with an endless supply of ivy leaves.

I wish bizarro nasty genie would grant my wishes.
 

---

Posted by He Who Wanders on :
 
Not granted! Me am Bizarro Nasty Genie and me am too nice to grant your wishes, so me turn you into a hamster instead!

I wish I had enough energy to run a marathon.
 

---

Posted by Seth Gaterra on :
 
Granted! You'll have the energy to organize the paperwork and permits needed in order to "run" a marathon.

I wish that I was more intelligent.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted: Now you know that it takes 120 drops of water to fill a teaspoon. Mensa will soon be knocking on your door.

I wish I had never bought a Volkswagen.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, instead you went for the used Yugo in lime green.

I wish I didn't have to work.
 

---

Posted by He Who Wanders on :
 
Granted! You don't have to work, but you also don't have to eat, either, because you're dead.

I wish I could work as a consultant and make $100,000 a year just for giving my opinion.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted: You're a consultant to Robert E. Lee, so it's 100,00 confederate dollars. Oh, and you've been dead for most of the last century.

I wish I had enrolled my kids in the pre-paid college tuition program when they were born.
 

---

Posted by He Who Wanders on :
 
Granted! You've enrolled your kids, but they grow up wanting to be career McDonald's employees (free Big Macs!) instead of going to college.

I wish I could exchange those 100,000 confederate dollars for modern U.S. currency, and come back to life.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. Of course, that CSA$100,000, adjusted for inflation, comes out to about US$100. Oh, and after being dead for most of the last 100 years, you smell really bad.

I wish people would be more generous.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted: I just contributed $1,500,000 to the 700 Club.*

I wish I could fix the low-voltage lights under my kitchen cabinets.

*Offended supporters of the 700 Club and/or family members of Pat Robertson please read in place of the above granting of RhL's wish the following:

I just contributed $0.35 to the Gates Foundation.

[ August 24, 2006, 09:30 PM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! You have the abiblity to fix the low-voltage lights under your kitchen cabinets. Unfortunately, in order to fix them, you will need a special discontinued part that needs to be special ordered and shipped from Bangladesh on a slow boat.

Next: I wish I could take my birthday off from work.
 

---

Posted by Disaster Boy on :
 
sure you can, you can quit and take all the other days off too.


i wish i had enough money to travel indefinately.
 

---

Posted by He Who Wanders on :
 
Granted! You have enough money to bribe NASA into placing your ashes aboard the next spacecraft bound for the outer planets.

I wish I were a brilliant teacher.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted, you teach chemistry in one of the rougher public high schools in the Distric of Columbia. Your students just doused you with benzene and ignited you.

I wish I were having sex with a blonde friend.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! Your new friend is Anne Coulter!


I wish I'd started graduate school right out of college and started my career six years sooner.
 

---

Posted by CJ Taylor on :
 
And you have...

Six years sooner, so you'll be fired this holiday season instead of next...


I wish my Jeep was in good working condition.
 

---

Posted by Ravenette84 on :
 
Granted!
but now insted of gas you have to use lots of high grade blue diamonds as a fule sorce, and you'll never get more that .5 miles a gallon. plus the conversion from carot weight to liquid messurement has yet to be discoverd. But in the year 2209 it will be.

I wish that I had my good eye back.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. It sits in a glass on your bathroom sink.

I wish I had a home computer with free internet access.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted. You're the most technology advance homeless vagrant in the park outside the Arlington County Courthouse -- a free public wi-fi hot spot.

Bring a blanket, it's getting cold.

I wish someone would steal my wife's VW so I could cash in the insurance and buy a Toyota or a BMW.
 

---

Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
 
Granted!

But the claims investigators read your post here, and assume you set the whole thing up as a scam. You're out the money, and facing jail time.

I wish nothing but peace and prosperity for the next to post.
 

---

Posted by Ravenette84 on :
 
Granted!
but it comes with an odd disfiguring tumor in the shape of ruth ginsberg (sp) on your back.


I wish the new puppy wouldn't use the house for a potty.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted. It uses your house for a chew toy.

I wish I were asleep.
 

---

Posted by CJ Taylor on :
 
Granted. You are asleep, still. You're unable to interact with the world. You lose your job, your life, your home.

I wish for some sex. Bring it on genie!
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
You have sex, mind-expanding, breath-taking sex. You didn't know it could be this good. Unfortunately you decide to light up a cigarette afterward and set house on fire.

I wish I could have mind-expanding, breath-taking sex with the fireman who tried vainly to extinguish your house.
 

---

Posted by He Who Wanders on :
 
You have sex with the fireman who was trying to extingish CJ's house fire. Unfortunately, you have sex with him while he's trying to put out the fire and you both burn up ... literally.

I wish I were being paid to write witty comments like this.
 

---

Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
 
Granted! But you're a speech-writer for the most vile, evil politician one could ever imagine, and you're utterly disgusted by how righteous he appears in public but how sleazy and sinister he is in real life. And you know that if you ever quit - or tell anyone the truth about them - you and your family are dead meat.

I wish weekends were three days long.
 

---

Posted by He Who Wanders on :
 
Granted! The weekends are now three days long, but that means you now work only part time and lose your health insurance and other benefits.

I wish the day had 36 hours in it so I could get everything done.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! An hour is now 40 minutes long. There are 36 of them in a day.

I wish I were omnipotent.
 

---

Posted by CJ Taylor on :
 
Wait- I thought penguins were omnipotent...

In your hunger for power, you've alienated all your friends and loved ones. Sadly, you are forced to surround yourself with killer whales for companionship.

I wish I had some chocolate cake.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted,
You have a slice of the heavenly chocolate cake that was served at the wedding I most recently attended in Chicago -- in 2004. (The green stuff is not icing.)

I wish the cute bicycle repairman at my favorite bike shop would do all of my bike repair and maintenance correctly, quickly and for free.
 

---

Posted by CJ Taylor on :
 
Granted! He has fixed your bike in rapid time and for free. However, he then sold it to some red head gal he thought was cute.

I wish for a huge comic convention to happen in Denver, and soon.

[ November 19, 2006, 02:51 PM: Message edited by: CJ Taylor ]
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, a huge comic book convention (with all your favorite writers and artists) happened in Denver on Nov 20th. You did go, didn't you?


I wish CJ Taylor enjoyed the snow more.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. CJ moves to the Pyngwyn Colonies of Planet Hyustyn where it snows all the time. While he's quite happy there with the penguin-people, there is no current Internet link between the two planets, so we never hear from our friend again.

I wish they still made Hydrox cookies.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Oh, RhL, you should go to the Hydrox cookie store on 5th Avenue near Rockefeller Center, but hurry, because of the city's ban on trans fat, future Hydrox cookies will taste like stale oreos.

I wish I had season tickets to the Shakespeare Theatre this season.
 

---

Posted by CJ Taylor on :
 
(Surrounded by penguins and not people- I could handle all that snow)

Lad Boy I got you tickets to the theatre for this season. You can have them on Dec 20th.


I wish I had a Bouncing Boy to call my own.
 

---

Posted by Kid Prime on :
 
Granted! He bounces incessantly off your walls for the next 18 years, until college. You stopped screaming inside your head a long time ago.

I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce and mustard, and, and, I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any other weird surprises. You got it?
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Got it.

You have a dry turkey sandwich on stale rye bread, with wilted soggy lettuce and rancid mustard. That wasn't weird, just a bad turkey sandwich.

I wish that each week there is a new Legion cartoon and that the cartoons are enjoyable.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted, it's a gourmet turkey sandwich made by one of the finest chefs on the east coast. In order to stay fresh it has been beautifully packaged by Mattel in a manner similar to their packaging for Barbie Dolls. It will take you about three hours to untie all the security ties, break open all the blister packs and unsew the portions that were sewn to the attractive backer board in the box. You will cut your finger and bleed profusely when you resort to using power tools to get the damned thing out of the box.

NEXT:
I wish my vision would stop deteriorating at an alarming pace.
 

---

Posted by Kid Prime on :
 
You are now blind.

I wish that Lad Boy would be the next person to respond in this thread.
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted: but now Blockade Boy is pissed because Lad Boy stole his password and is now posting as BB so in granting your wish and you granting Lad Boy's (that's me, remember?) wish we can now get back to QE's wish which was SKIPPED by Lad Boy (me again) the first time and which is now GRANTED but unfortunately Lad Boy (still me)cannot watch these new and enjoyable Legion cartoons because he is (that would be "I am") blind, a preemptive punishment from Blockade Boy (who stole Kid Prime's ID) for both skipping QE's wish and stealing Blockade Boy's ID. whew

NEXT:
I wish we could all stop stealing each other's ID's.

[ January 08, 2007, 05:05 PM: Message edited by: Blockade Boy ]
 

---

Posted by CJ Taylor on :
 
Granted- we've all lost our minds, no one is able to post, Legion World folds, and the universe is torn asunder.

I wish I understood BB's post.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. And you will now be taken for a ride by some very nice men in white coats who will give a nice jacket that fastens in the back to wear.

I wish that when ordering hot tea in a restaurant, a properly brewed cup of said beverage with a small jug of milk on the side would be served, rather than a cup of tepid water, a cheap teabag and a wedge of lemon.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, however it will always be served to you by the world's clumbsiest waiter who inevitably spills it all over you, usually in an amusing manner for your fellow diners who laugh uproarously and occassionally one laughs so hard while eating that a piece of food gets stuck in their windpipe and they choke to death. Are you happy now?

I wish that I liked tea.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! You like tea, but the only way anyone ever serves it is as a cup of tepid water and a cheap teabag with no milk, so you never get to enjoy it.

I wish more restaurants served really good soup.
 

---

Posted by CJ Taylor on :
 
Granted. Every restaurant serves amazing soup. They spend so much effort to perfect their soups, they neglect health code restrictions. After a massive crackdown, there are no more restaurants.


I wish I had a penguin to call my own.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
You have Burgess Meredith all to yourself. He's dead.

I wish I weren't Blockade Boy.
 

---

Posted by Kid Prime on :
 
Congratulations! You are no longer Blockade Boy! However, since you didn't wish for who you wanted to be, you are now a disembodied soul, doomed to float in the void for all time.

I wish that dealing with the Alabama state government wasn't such a bureaucratic nightmare.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. They reject every request you have out of hand. Saves them time, saves you time.

I wish I knew what I want for lunch.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted!

You decided just in time for dinner.


I wish passenger rail service would make a comeback in the United States.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Your wish is GRANTED!

It's now 1887. Planes haven't yet been invented and niether have you.


I wish I had the body of Vin Diesel and the face of Heath Ledger.
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted: You now have both steroid induced nuggets and a brain the size of a pea.

I wish this genie was nice.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Drat! Too slow!

I like the answer I gave for Ram Lad so I'll post it just for giggles:
Granted! You have Vin Diesel's body and Heath Ledger's face. The police want to know what you've done with the rest of them.

Now for BB:

Granted! This genie is very nice. So nice that he makes the whole world just like a Thomas Kincade painting!

I wish I had a gentleman's gentleman to--ah--help me around the house.

[ January 14, 2007, 03:13 PM: Message edited by: Rockhopper Lad ]
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
GRANTED!

The ultimate gentleman's gentlemen ,Sebastian Cabot (aka Mr. French), has been resurrected to-ah-help you around the house, and boy is he frisky after all those years of being dead. Enjoy!


I wish I could be a ROCK STAR !
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted!

You are now the star (made of stone) that sits atop the San Jacinto Monument, just outside Houston.

I wish the United States would finally switch to the Metric System.
 

---

Posted by Kid Prime on :
 
Granted!

Unfortunately, everyone else inexplicably switches back to whatever they had before metrics.

I wish Social Security was fixed.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, your puppy named "Social Security" has been fixed.

I wish everyone in the world was gay for 10 years.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted, it's the gay '90s -- 1890's. Hey Let's party like its 1899.

I wish Congress would repeal the Defense of Marriage Act and that the Supreme Court would find that gay marriages in Massachusetts had to be recognized as valid marriages under all federal and state laws.
 

---

Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
 
Granted!

But when Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell get married, every decent American, gay or straight, are so disgusted that the entire institution of marriage falls by the wayside.

I wish that at least 10 percent of every transaction was devoted to making the world a better place.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted.

10% of every transaction is devoted to making the corner of 4th Ave and 44th St in Manhattan a better place. 4th and 44th is amazing, it's breathtaking, unfortunately the rest of the world lies in shambles of chaotic misery.

I wish I owned a condo at the corner of 4th Ave and 44th St in Manhattan.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, The condo is located at 4th Ave & 44th st in Manhattan, Kansas Community Profile Also the condo is located in the sub-sub-sub-basement. The mold smell covers the smell of rat excrement.


I wish that there is never another story about Britney Spears in the newspaper or on TV ever again.
 

---

Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
 
Granted, but now you have to live with her in Lad boy's small, moldy basement condo in Manhattan, Kansas (landlord Lad Boy never comes to visit, and refuses to fix things, despite the high rent).

I wish Manhattan, Kansas was even less interesting than it is now.
 

---

Posted by Vee on :
 
Graned, but the only job you can find these days is on the local Manhattan Kansas weekly newspaper writing public interest pieces!

I wish I could retire to a small island off the coast of Bimini.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted! You're now a retiree on the beautiful island of Bimini. Your also a paunchy, crabby, sixty five year old who's hard of hearing and can't get it up! Here's a thong, an ear-horn and a bottle of viagra! Live it up while you can Gramps!

I wish I could speak French.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, you can speak French, but you don't understand French. Even when you speak it, it sounds like gibberish to you.

I wish "Superman Returns" had not been made.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted, but an uncannily similar "superman Comes Back" was released this summer.

Next:
I wish it'd be 23 degrees Fahrenheit for 7 consecutive days in my yard so I could turn the porch into an ice skating rink for my kids and they'd stop nagging me about it.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted!

And your children soon become world class figure skating competitors! So now you'll be spending the next ten years staying in motels and sewing rhinestones and sequins on their oh-so glittery outfits.

I wish I had a jaguar. The car you nasty genie, not the animal. HA!
 

---

Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
 
Granted! But it needs a new moter, a new transmission, and is rusting so badly it barely holds together. But the car payments you are making on it are as if it were brand new!

I wish Ram Boy would drive his Jaguar to Manhattan, Kansas.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, On the way it breaks down. A kindly motorist stops to help him. The motorist (of the gender Ram prefers) falls in love with Ram. They settle down together. The motorist is richer than Bill Gates, better looking than Bragelina, and the nicest person in the whole world.

Gee Kent, too bad you hadn't wish for yourself to have driven Ram's jaguar to Manhattan, Kansas.

I wish I had the best bologna sandwich in the whole world - gratis.
 

---

Posted by CJ Taylor on :
 
You're in luck! You get the best bologna sandwich for lunch. And supper. And breakfast. And lunch. And supper. In fact, that's all you ever get again. Bologna sandwiches.

I wish my supply of coconut syrup was always well stocked.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted! Your lifetime supply of fresh, sweet coconut syrup has been blended with chicken stock and is stored at the bottom of a well.

I wish I could ice skate better than my 8-year-old daughter.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted!

Tanya Harding and co. just broke your kid's knee caps (WHY HER !?). You're now the better skater.

I wish the Legion of SuperHeroes would be made into a movie. Is that to much to ask for Nasty Genie ?
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
No it isn't. The Legion of Super-Heroes is made into a movie, starring Gilbert Gottfried as Lightning Lad, Britney Spears as Saturn Girl, Gary Coleman as Brainiac 5, and RuPaul as Cosmic Boy. Directed by Michael Moore. Screenplay by Bill O'Reilly.

I wish everybody always had enough nutritious tasty things to eat.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Everyone on earth has a pot. In each pot is a chicken. Unfortunately fire hasn't been invented. The mortality rate from chicken tartare is alarming. The future of the human race is in jeopardy.

I wish the house for sale across the street would be bought by a cute, generally shirtless, 28 year-old expert Volkswagen mechanic who likes to do free repair work for all of his VW-owning neighbors.

[ January 25, 2007, 05:51 AM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. The house is bought by a cute, generally shirtless, 28 year-old expert Volkswagen mechanic who like to do free repair work for all of his VW-owning neighbors. Unfortunately, he lives in California and rents the house in your neighbourhood out to a portly 80-year old man who wears shorts with black knee socks.

I wish my friend's computer didn't have a problem he wants me to look at.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. It now has 10 problems he wants you to look at.

I wish I could be on Jeopardy
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted!

However, the night before your appearance you spend so much time posting on Legion World that you develop a nasty case of carpal tunnel syndrome in both thumbs. Good Luck!

I wish I could smack you for being so nasty Genie.
 

---

Posted by LARDLAD on :
 
Granted, but I get a turn with you afterwards!

I wish there weren't so many phallic symbols in American architecture!
 

---

Posted by dedman on :
 
Granted...American architecture is now fecal based!

i wish the was an All-star Legion book
 

---

Posted by LARDLAD on :
 
Granted! But the All-Stars are Devin Grayson and Rob Liefeld!

I wish me and Cobalt were the LSH writers!
 

---

Posted by Pizza Delivery Girl on :
 
Granted!

But every established LSH character has just been killed off by the leaving creative team, and by editorial fiat you're not allowed to revive anyone.

I wish I had mad drawing skills.
 

---

Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
 
granted! you can now draw Alfred E. Neuman, but only Alffred E. Neuman.

I wish more people would read Legion of Camelot.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. Two more people have read it. They were not impressed.

I wish they all could be California boys.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted. two words: President Schwarzenegger

I wish I could selectively control the minds of 218 Congressmen.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, you can control their minds between 2:13am and 2:16am or between 10:54pm and 10:55pm or for a split second at 11:37am. The precise time will be randomly selected each day and you don't know which it is.

I wish Jon Stewart ran things.
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted: He no longer has time for his show (though ratings for State of the Union go up significantly)


I wish puppies, kindergartners, and baby pandas ran things.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted: However, in a bid for ultimate control the League of Puppies declares war on both the Kindergartnernation and the Legion of Baby Pandas. And so you're wish is responsible for starting a very very adorable WW III.


I wish men's fashions were hotter.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, All men's fashion now consists of woolen clothing with muscle rub medication coating on the inside.

I wish I had a set of mens leather clothing that fit me.
 

---

Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
 
Granted. You now own a Gates costume made entirely of leather. It also requires the assistance of three others just to get the abdomen set up right.

I wish all my comics would last forever.
 

---

Posted by CJ Taylor on :
 
Granted. Your comics have all been encased in lucite, where they will last forever.

I wish I had a bowl of ice cream.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. Check your toilet bowl. Don't forget to bring a spoon.

I wish kangaroos were called something else.
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted: Now the Aussie's are no longer unique from the rest of the world when they look at those tall hoppy animals and say, "aren't those something else?"

Next: I wish my DVD player wasn't broken.
 

---

Posted by CJ Taylor on :
 
Granted: You're dvd player is fixed. Now you're broke.

I wish I didn't burn the minestrone soup I just made.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted. Minestrone's not burnt because you have no gas or electricity.

I wish my kids would get up each day and make their own breakfasts, and pack their own lunches, and that there would be no tragic consequences like kitchen fires, salmonella outbreaks, etc.
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted: Now the wife has more time to nag you as the last remaining member of the family that can't make a meal without causing an outbreak of something nasty.

I wish there were a couple more inches of snow so I could go x-country skiing in the park.
 

---

Posted by CJ Taylor on :
 
WHAT?!?!??!

Nasty genie needs to go off in to a corner and count to five hundred before unleashing this wish...
 

---

Posted by CJ Taylor on :
 
Granted! You get 2 feet of white fluffy snow dumped on you in one night. However, you are trapped at work, 35 miles from your home and your skiis.


I wish I had a snow shovel.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, you have a snow shovel made of ice.

I wish people weren't stupid.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. The average IQ is now around 160. Nasty Genie just hates to have to tell you this Quislet (teehee), but the list of eligible contestants waiting to get on Jeopardy just got a hell of a lot longer.

I wish I could hang out with Paris, Britney and Lindsay. Wow, wouldn't that be fun!
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! You get to spend the day with Paris, Britney and Lindsay, three very spoiled and very noisy Yorkshire terriers.

I wish I were the person my dog thinks I am.
 

---

Posted by CJ Taylor on :
 
Granted! You're the doggone coolest person ever. You get to lick everyone instead of shake hands, you get to sniff their butts, and from the right person, a belly rub is better than a good steak.

I wish February was over with already.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. February of 2004 is over.

I wish I had better penmanship.
 

---

Posted by Lard Lad on :
 
Granted. Though unfortunately, you've just lost your hands in a freak accident!

I wish I had my namesake's kewl powers.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. You now have the power to tune into radio station KEWL anytime you want. The highlight of their programming is the daily farm report.

Next:
I wish I didn't have to go deeper in debt to get a new car.
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted: Yugos have made a return to market. The world blames you.

Next:

I wish they would make another Clone Wars movie, a good one this time.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted: "Clone Wars, the Return of Clone Wars" has just completed filming. And boy, is it ever GOOD. Unfortunately, the movie studio that made it, Nasty Genie Productions, has opted not to release it. Instead they've released "Heidi VI, Heidi learns to yodel." Here's a free ticket!

Next:

I wish I was a super hero.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted.

Unfortunately, in the most recent company-wide crossover you were retconned out of existence.

I wish more people would eat their veggies.
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted: More people around you are eating their fiber filled veggies. Toot toot!

I wish I had an ice boat so I could enjoy all this wonderful snow and ice over the bay.

[ February 19, 2007, 01:02 PM: Message edited by: Blockade Boy ]
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, you have a boat made of ice. Better enjoy it before the temperatures rise.

I wish DC would give me copies of all their archive series.
 

---

Posted by Vee on :
 
Granted DC sends you an 8mm film of a hand turning microfiched sheets depicting the entire collection Archives...40 archive pages per sheet.

I wish I could kick this cold.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted, you now have the legs of Radio City Rockette. The kickiest legs in show biz. What you choose to kick with them is your own damn business.

I wish I could swing on a star.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
granted, however the heat from the star vaporizes you instantly.


I wish every day was like Christmas
 

---

Posted by Vee on :
 
Granted, here are the bills you've amassed for all those presents.

I wish the workweek were shorter
 

---

Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
 
Granted! Your workweek is now 4 hours a day. Which cuts your pay in half.

I wish everybody on Legion World could get everything they want.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted! (and might I add Nasty Genie is touched by your kind spirit) You're credit card and bank account numbers have just been sent to EVERY member of Legion World so they can ALL get what they want!

I wish the guys at the gym weren't so damn hot.
 

---

Posted by Vee on :
 
Granted, all of them are forever more made into blocks of ice.


I wish Cobie would finally get over his sheep fixation!
 

---

Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
 
(There are some things even the Nasty Genie can't do, but let's pretend....)

Granted! Cobie is totally over his sheep fixation. He's graduated to cattle.

I wish I could dance.
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted, you have thousands of very upset sheep knocking on your door.

I wish DC would issue a series of Legion bobbleheads.
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Ooops

Granted, you dance like a bobblehead?

I wish DC would issue a series of Legion bobbleheads.
 

---

Posted by Vee on :
 
*****Interlude*****

Nice save BB!

****End Interlude***
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted! Bobbleheads it is! Of every writer who ever worked on the Legion!

I wish I had a little dog. P.S. not a man-eating little dog.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! You have a little dog. He's not housebroken and might be kind of hard to train, so watch the puddles!


I wish it was possible to get a good cup of hot tea at most restaurants in the US.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted! That'll be $375.29, sir.

I wish the ambient temperature in my back yard was always between 65 and 75 degrees Fahrenheit.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, a constant storm of rain keeps the temperature in your backyard, now also known as your pond, between 65 & 75 degrees Fahrenheit.


I wish I had attend the gay pride parade in Boston today.
 

---

Posted by CJ Taylor on :
 
Granted! You did go to the parade. You're still there, meaning you can't be here to wish for it, meaning you're trapped in a time paradox forever.


I wish softball was more than one day a week.
 

---

Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
 
Granted! But they only show replays. Slow motion replays.

I wish I had a constant source of money, one which does not require me to do any work whatsoever to maintain it, which does not involve me selling my body parts or any personal possessions, and which does not come from the death of anyone.
 

---

Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
 
Granted! But it's an endless supply of pre-1990 Romanian dinars, which are now worthless.

I wish I had more energy and motivation to get projects done.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted! You're a coke fiend who owes the mob fifty-thousand dollars...or else.

I wish that I had an electric car.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, it runs on 5,000 AA batteries. All the batteries need to be changed every 5 miles.

I wish there weree more, better, and cheaper sugar-free snacks.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted: Teuscher chocolate of Switzerland (230 Newbury Street, in Boston) just announced it has created a new line of calorie-free Champagne truffles. They taste exactly like their world-famous sugar-saturated confections and have no harmful side effects. They are absolutely free and available exclusively to the first 10,000 customers who come to the grand opening of Teuscher's new retail store in Antarctica.

I wish Macy's was having a 90%-off sale on all merchandise today.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. Unfortunately Macy's 95% off sale yesterday leaves only Irregular womens Oceans Thirteen gardening gloves as the only merchandise.

I wish I had a live-in house boy to do all the cooking and cleaning.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:

Thanks to Ramon your home, filled with the scent of lysol and cordon bleu cooking, is regularly featured in Wine Spectator, Martha Stewart Living, Better Homes and Gardens, Gourmet and Architectural Digest. There are so many reporters and photographers in your home, you never get to act on the sexual tension that's been building between you and Ramon. In fact, you never get to act on any sort of sexual tension because you're always surrounded by reporters and photographers.

I wish I had bicycle shorts/shirt based on Dave Cockrum's Lightning Lad or Element Lad costumes.

I wish I had bicycle shorts/shirt based on Mike Grell's Lightning Lad or Element Lad costumes.

[ June 22, 2007, 06:08 AM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. Your new bicycle togs are forest green with a bright yellow lightning bolts coming out of your butt. (Bonus: You're now the talk of bike trails everywhere!)

I wish Lad Boy hadn't asked for that last wish.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted: see edits above

I wish I were the talk of bike trails everywhere.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, on all the bike trails there is talk of your skill at riding, your rugged good looks, your daring fashion sense, etc. And when you say "Hey, that's me you are talking about." No one believes you.

I wish I had a week long vacation on a South Sea island.

(Come on Genie, let's get real creative with the nastiness - no restless natives, bad weather, too expensive, etc.)
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted!

You have the most fabulous vacation on a South Sea island. It's relaxing and fun. The service at the hotel is great. You spend all your time lying on the beach with your every need catered to by handsome, buff, shirtless waiters.

Then Pam wakes up and goes to the shower and sees Bobby and says "I had the strangest dream!"


I wish they would show Bewitched on TV again.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted, Bewitched is now being broadcast exclusively on the island nation of Zambwana. Unfortunately, according to Zambwanese law, watching witches on television is a crime punishable by death. (they're just funny that way)

I wish I were Canadian.
 

---

Posted by CJ Taylor on :
 
Granted. You are Canadian. You're are so Canadian, you are chosen as the Canadian ambassador to the entire south Pacific. There you meet a tribe of cannibals hungry for pizza with Canadian Bacon.


I wish I could meet Quis, and to quote him, "Come on Genie, let's get real creative with the nastiness - no restless natives, bad weather, too expensive, etc."
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted. You get to meet Quis.

I wish the grass was blue, the sky green, and the lake purple.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! You now live in a colouring book coloured by a four-year old.

I wish all of DC's super-hero characters would wear variations on the Cosmic Bustier and the Saturn Bikini.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. Victoria's Secret purchases DC and uses their characters to promote the latest Mike Grell inspired lingerie line. Unfortunately, the image of Power Girl in a push-up bra pushes mothers everywhere over the edge, who then form the Not Our Boys Ogling Over Bosoms Society which petitions Congress, which passes a bill that prohibits the display of superheroes in anything other than loose fitting muumuus.

I wish Anne Murray would join Legion World.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Anne Murry becomes the leader of LegionWorld.com.

I wish I could find my black shoes.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! You've found the black shoes you lost when you were eight. Bit snug now though, huh?

I wish I were less cynical regarding romantic relationships.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted, you're now so extremely optimistic about romantic relationships, that your idea of a first date is moving in together. Good luck with that, you ol' love muffin you.

I wish I werz a reely gud speller.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Du fehlbuchstabierst nie ein Wort -- auf Deutsch.

I wish I could speak German fluently.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, you can speak German fluently in a high pitched girly voice.

I wish I had a magic window in my apartment that let some of the cool air of winter in during the summer and some of the warm air of summer in during the winter.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted: In the summer your magic window lets in cool air with a rotting-flesh aroma from a New Jersey meat-packing plant. In the winter you get the warm sulfur-laden exhaust of a Mississippi paper mill.

i wish I had a pristine copy of Superboy and the Legion of Super-Heroes #205.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, it is sealed in a block of Lucite so as to remain in pristine condition.

I wish I had two BMW Z4 Roadsters, One in Montego Blue Metallic and one in Bright Red Non-Metallic


 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:

At 1:18 scale, your new Z4s will be perfectly sized for any of your friends from Imsk.


I wish my father had never sold his '57 Bel Air, 64 1/2 Mustang and '65 Bonneville and that they had all been maintained in show-car condition, without, say the benefit of being encased in lucite or some other substance that would prevent me from being able to drive them, and that, furthermore, I could drive them whenever I wished for the rest of my life, which will not be ending for at least 45 years.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, and to maintian them in show-car condition, you need to spend $100,000 per month on each car. Do you really think I would use the same nasty trick twice?

I wish I could have all the clothes I want in the style and color I want for free.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted: You look great in the new wardrobe. Those colors make your eyes dazzle. Too bad all the shirts and jackets have "Kick Me" signs permanently sewn into their backs.

I wish attractive, personable, scantily clad men would take advantage of the recent price reductions and buy the three new homes built at the end of our street

[ August 06, 2007, 06:51 AM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. Brick, Brock and Brody, three underwear models from the Personable Male Modeling Agency have just bought the three new homes. It might be worth noting that their three psychotically jealous supermodel girlfriends, Slinka, Vinka and Evil Gretchen will be moving in with them.

I wish I had tickets to the Oprah Winfrey Show.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
You have tickets to the show; the taping starts in 5 minutes, but you're on the observation floor of the Hancock Center and the elevators aren't working.

I wish Brick, Block and Brody would hurry back from the airport from which they just sent Slinka, Vinka and Evil Gretchen off onto year-long, on-location photo-shoots for feature stories in Antarctic Life magazine.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, Brick, Brock, & Brody are hurrying back from the airport (they need to do some shirtless yardwork pronto) when the rear tire in their SUV blows, sending them skidding through the guardrail and into a ditch. The three are thrown from the vehicle (being too macho to wear seatbelts). They survive the crash, but all will be in full body casts for the next 9 months. It will take another 5 months for them to get back into shape once the body casts are removed.

I wish that I will throughly enjoy this last Harry Potter book
 

---

Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
 
Granted. You'll enjoy it so much, every other book you'll ever read will be a majorly depressing disappointment; you'll give up reading entirely.

I wish summer humidity didn't bother me as much as it does.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. You're now a female Red howler monkey from the Amazon Rainforest. Hot muggy weather doesn't faze you at all. By the way here's your mate Jo-Jo.......


.....humidity makes him lusty.

I wish I had a monkey.

[ July 19, 2007, 08:22 PM: Message edited by: Ram Boy ]
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
You have a monkey, with buerre blanc and a side of grilled asparagus. You wish you'd had the pork tenderloin.

I wish I could read the first six Harry Potter books tonight.
 

---

Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
 
the sun will never rise, ever again - you have all the time in the world to read them "tonight."

I wish people got along and respected each other's diferences.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted.

Most posters on Legion World get along and respect each other's differences.

I wish the United States would have a national health care system.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:

The Kevorkian Commission's recommendations were just passed by both houses of Congress and the president promises a signature.

I wish Barry Kitson would draw 30 more issues of the Legion of Super-Heroes.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. The issues are written by Pat Robertson and Paris Hilton.

I wish McDonalds food was nutritious without anything else about them changing.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Food from McDonalds is good for you, high in fiber and chock full of essential vitamins and minerals, but you just can't seem to get over your crippling addiction for Double Whoppers.

I wish I had a fully restored 1973 El Camino.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. A vintage (ha) 1973 El Camino has been fully restored right down to it's eight track tape player. Sadly, in a mysterious (hee) snafu at the DMV your drivers licence has been permantly revoked.

I wish I was cooler than cool.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted.

You are now frozen in the cryonic freezing unit between Walt Disney and Ted Williams.

I wish it were all easier.

[ July 24, 2007, 10:51 AM: Message edited by: Rockhopper Lad ]
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. Everything seems so easy for you now. In the morning, you go to breakfast and they give you your medication. Basket weaving after that. Then lunch (Wednesday is sloppy joes) and more medication. The afternoon is filled with art therapy. Then supper and more medication. After supper, you can either play ping pong or watch the Blue's Clues dvd. More medication just before they strap you in for the night.

I wish there were more fairy stories.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
"Crisis on Earth-D," the multimedia, year-long consolidation of DC Comics into the portfolio of its newest owner, Walt Disney Enterprises, yields "Tinkerbell and the Legion of Super-Heroes."

I wish my comic book store would move closer to my office.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. An earthquake rocked Washington DC. Damage was very minimal. In fact it resulted only in one building (Lad Boy's comic book shop) having been shifted 2 inches in the direction of Lad Boy's office.

I wish I had teleportation powers.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted

You can move Io one micrometer closer to Jupiter at will.

I wish the Nasty Genie would give me exactly what I want regardless of what I wish for.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, you get what you want. But like all stories about wishes, you discover that getting what you want leaves you unsatisfied and regretful.

I wish life was like a movie in which I got to write my own ending.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Life is like Ishtar. You storm out of the theater of your life, requesting your money back. You write about this ending later in an angry letter to the studio.

I wish the Nasty Genie grant my wishes in the form of a Limerick.
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
A Genie so Nasty he pondered
To Make Lad Boy’s wishes be squandered.
- He thought and he schemed
- a limerick undreamed
Crap, I forgot the last line.


I wish to take a vacation to Newfoundland before school starts back up.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, You have a room at a lovely no star motel with a perfect view of the hog rendering plant (you'll get used to the smell). Your vacation occurs at the same time as the International Yodeling convention invades Newfoundland. Hundreds of thousands of yodelers crowd ever square mile of Newfoundland. The weather remains overcast with oppressive humidity. The beaches are closed because of outbreaks of dangerous algae in all the lakes and ponds and along the coast. Enjoy!

I wish I could write a successful book series like JK Rowling.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. The success of your "Larry Trotter and the..." series is phenomenal. Unfortunately, the books are a little too much like Ms.Rowlings, and she sues you for everything you've got and wins.

I wish someone would make another fantastic movie like "Brokeback Mountain".
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted: Nasty Genie hasn’t seen “Brokeback Mountain,” but brings you direct to cable, “Lojack Fountain.” Set in a high-end Macon, Georgia chop-shop, it was the love affair they wouldn’t admit but couldn’t hide. DL Whitney and Ann Heche star….

Git’R Duuuuuunnnnnnn

I wish I’d never seen “Carrot Top Rocks Las Vegas.”
 

---

Posted by Jerry on :
 
Granted: What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. You are back in East Toledo. Carrot Top never happened.

I wish my dog would stop peeing in the house.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. Your dog now pees exclusively inside your neighbors house. They're not thrilled about this and are consulting an attorney.

I wish I was an acrobat with Cirque du Soleil.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
You are a featured acrobat in the return of Cirque du Soleil to the Beau Rivage Casino/Resort in Biloxi, Mississippi. And though that, alone, should be nasty enough, I'd like to point out that there is no suitable housing in post-Katrina Biloxi. You live in a FEMA trailer with a redneck drifter named Jim Bob.

I wish my shoes were more comfortable.
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted: Nasty Genie has been looking for a pair of comfortable shoes and thanks you. Please do not step on any glass.

I wish the guy next to me would stop talking to himself outloud while slowing up the computers watching some stupid movie over the network. I've got important posting to do!
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, He stops talking to himself and starts talking to you. And while talking to you manages to crash your whole computer system.

I wish there were always enough seats on the subway so that everyone could sit comfortably and not intrude upon other passengers' personal space.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
The subway system is bankrupt and the trains never move -- lots of empty seats.

I wish I didn't have this annoying thorn in my right index finger and that its disappearance would not result in any loss of body parts of extreme expense.
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted: You never contracted that thorn by pulling it out of the lion's paw and you joined him for lunch.

I wish the Nasty Genie a little love in his/her heart.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. I now have a little love in my heart. Whereas before being nasty was only a job, I now looooove being nasty.

I wish my neighbor wouldn't mow his lawn every other day.
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted and Nasty thanks you for the slowpitch, your neighbor now mows his lawn EVERYday, at 8am, rain or shine.

I wish last night's thunderstorm hadn't knock a branch down in my yard and flooded the back seat of my car.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. Last night's thunderstorm knocked down the entire tree and flooded your house. Your car is dry though.

I wish East Toledo had a fancier name.
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Nasty Genie objects to being given a nearly impossible task but grants your wish by renaming all turnpike signs to
East Toledo
which distracts your Grannie as she's driving west to Chicago causing her to end up in De'troit where's she's never heard from again.

I wish the hot dog stands in Chicago delivered to Toledo.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. The deliveries are made by senior citizens on Segways. Your hot dog is guaranteed to arrive in 60 days or its free. The mold growing on the bun can be picked off.

Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner...
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. You are made of:
Turkey parts, pork parts, chicken parts, water, salt, flavor, sodium lactate, corn syrup, sodium phosphates, dextrose, sodium diacetate, sodium erythorbate (made from sugar), sodium nitrite.

Doesn't that sound lovely?

I wish I could lose my remaining 20 pounds in one week.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. Doctors discover that resistant strain of tuberculosis and have to remove part of your lung. In addition the hospital mixes you up with another patient and amputates your right arm. You are now 20 pounds lighter.

I wish I had a watermelon
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. An award winning 2000 lb watermelon on it's way back from the 1st Annual Boston Watermelon Growers Championship has just rolled off the back off it's flatbed truck and on to you. It was seedless.

I wish I could come up with a billion dollar idea for an internet business.
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted: Marc Cuban makes a billion dollars off your idea, buys the White Sox and turns them into the Yankees.

I wish I could make up my mind between going to Stratford, seeing a show and doing a bit of touring or staying home and going to the new Polish restaurant and doing other local things.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Halfway between Stratford and the Polish restaurant you made up your mind to wear women's undergarments, eat only raw onions and live in the burned out hull of a '68 VW camper. Congratulations on your freedom from indecision.

I wish I could write a proof of Fermat's Last Theorem that most math undergrads could understand.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Halfway between Stratford and the Polish restaurant you made up your mind to wear women's undergarments, eat only raw onions and live in the burned out hull of a '68 VW camper. Congratulations on your freedom from indecision.

I wish I could write a proof of Fermat's Last Theorem that most math undergrads could understand.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! You right a proof of Fermat's Last Theorem that most math undergrads understand. Of course no one else, including you, has any idea what it means.

I wish all Legion Worlders lived in the same city.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Welcome to Waveland, Mississippi. We're all crowded into 5 FEMA trailers. Hey, Ram Boy! Watch it with the hands!

I wish at least one more Legion Worlder would move to Washington, DC.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. Ram Boy (and his gropey little hands) have now moved to Washington, D.C. and into your home. Unfortunately, because he left his business behind, you'll be responsible for his upkeep.(word is he's very high maintenance and insists on being served breakfast in bed....everyday)

I wish (this) Legion World was a television reality series.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted: You're fired!

I wish I had a bottle of Snapple Tangerine White Tea.
 

---

Posted by Sonnie on :
 
Granted, I have one right here for you Lad Boy, now just get on a plane and fly over here to Scotland to collect it. (let's hope that I don't get thirsty and drink it before you arrive though)

Wish I could fly!
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted: You can fly but as you're entering DC airspace to drop off Lad Boy's "Snapple Tangerine White Tea" your "identify friend or foe" is still set on Gaelic and you get an ICBM right in your haggis.

I wish I knew a program for converting pdf files into word documents.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. You have a program to translte pdf files into word documents. The program takes ten years to run and you cannot run any other programs while it is translating.

I wish Bill Gates would give me 10 million dollars.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. Bill Gates has just given you 10 million dollars with the sole proviso that you don't spend any of it until 2085.

I wish for a shiny new spaceship, Nasty Genie. Nothing clunky. Oh yhea, and with AC.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. You have a beautiful, sleek, air-conditioned spaceship. Now, considering how much gasoline costs these days, can you imagine how much it would cost to tank up this baby?


I wish I could travel back in time to see Richard Burton, Julie Andrews and Robert Goulet perform Camelot on Broadway.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
December 15, 1960 -- you loved the show; unfortunately you were on Staten Island the next morning when this happened.

I wish I'd seed the WSC's Macbeth this season.
 

---

Posted by He Who Wanders on :
 
Granted! You "seed" Macbeth. Now all the actresses are pregnant and sue you for paternity.

I wish I had a secretary to do all my dirty work for me.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
Former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld does all your dirty work for you, but he goes on and on about how the administrations actions in IRAQ were fully justified.

I wish I were better at editing my own postings here at Legion World.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, All your posts have been editted to perfection which makes a lot of responses meaningless. This causes people at Legion World to resent you, especially as their own mistakes become glaring. Eventually you are banned from Legion World.

I wish Pres. Bush & Vice Pres. Cheney would resign effective immediately.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. Bush and Cheney resign their offices immediately and declare themselves Keeng George and Vice-King Dick.

I wish nonhuman-eating aliens would make contact with our planet.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. We make contact with aliens who eat every nonhuman thing on Earth, leaving the humans to drift off into space where we all explode.

I wish life were a musical comedy.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. Life is now like The Rocky Horror Picture Show. And your just a sweet transvetite from transexual Transylvania. Who does your hair? Dairy Queen?

I wish there were a city on the moon AND that it had affordable hotel rates. (Ha!)
 

---

Posted by He Who Wanders on :
 
Granted! Hotel Luna boasts affordable rates. Of course, if you want oxygen, it's going to cost you extra. Way extra.

I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Weiner so everybody would be in love with me.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted.

Harry Everybody, who has an--unusual fascination with Oscar Mayer Wieners...well, never mind.

I wish Lad Boy and his family would buy a house in Houston and move here as in my dream last night.

[ August 05, 2007, 05:38 PM: Message edited by: Rockhopper Lad ]
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. Lad Boy and co. buy the house right next door. Lad Boy then turns out to be the neighbor from hell. He borrows things and never returns them. He jacks up an old 1973 El Camino on cinder blocks in his perpetually unmowed front yard. And he and his jug band play music well past 1:00 am every morning.

I wish I had a time machine.
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted: You have a time machine, which Lad Boy borrows and leaves rusting on cinder blocks in his perpetually unmowed front yard.

I wish Lad Boy would curb his borrowing habits.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. Lad Boy has curbed his borrowing "habits". He no longer borrows habits from nuns. He now just chases the nuns down, tackles them and takes their habits outright.

I wish earth had TWO moons, as I feel that would be very pretty and twice as romantic.
 

---

Posted by He Who Wanders on :
 
Granted. Earth has two moons, but it completely disrupts the cycles of life, causing chaos and madness, as people complain that there is no "night" anymore.

I wish space travel were as common as driving to the local supermarket.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Space travel is so common that everyone does it. During "rush hour" it takes 5 years to get to the Safeway on the dark side of the moon.

I wish the attractive, personable, scantily clad men would, after having taking advantage of the recent price reductions and having bought the three new homes built at the end of our street, come mow my lawn. (see previous post .)

[ August 06, 2007, 06:57 AM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. Unfortunately, as per my wish above, you've moved to Houston and aren't there to see them.

I wish the guy I had a crush on in college, still handsome and fit after all these years, would show up at my door and pledge his undying love for me.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. He is handsome and fit and has the worst case of halitosis ever. Nothing helps the halitosis. He is also on the run from the Mob.

I wish I had a magic wardrobe filled with stylish clothes that fit me.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Your magic wardrobe talks/sings with the voice of Jo Anne Worley and is filled with stylish clothes from Victoria's Secret.

I wish that only the really attractive guests in the hotel across the street would open the curtains before getting dressed.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. Only ugly guests with really attractive personalities open the curtains before getting dressed.

I wish I could move to a planet inhabited entirely by billions of gorgeous LOOKING well-built men, who only wear thongs and capes, are VERY friendly, and don't eat earthlings.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, Unfortunately the planet has a methane atmosphere and you asphixiate when you step off the spaceship. You are mourned by the entire planet.

I wish I could stop posting to this thread.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted

On 8/08/2007, you stopped at 1:22 pm for at least 1 hour 30 minutes.

I wish I could breathe methane and attend Ram Boy's funeral.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. Did I mention that the low temperature of the planet is 5000 degrees farenheit?

I wish I had some more will power.
 

---

Posted by He Who Wanders on :
 
Granted. You now have power over your last will and testament. Of course, it doesn't matter until you are dead.

I wish life was as tasty as a box of chocolates (the chocolates, not the box).
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted: Life is as tasty as a [Forest Gump] box of chocolates [/Forest Gump] and everybody rushes through it taking only nibbles looking for the life with a cherry missing out on the true delicacy of the diversity.

I wish wish granting were easier.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. Granting wishes just got a whole lot easier with NASTICO's all new WISH GRANTER 3000! Just type in a wish and press the granted button! PRESTO! You're DONE! It's so simple, even a "Block"head can do it! And if you act now the NASTICO WISH GRANTER 3000 can be all your's NOT for $20.99 NOT for $15.99 BUT for the AMAZING price of ONLY $2,500,000.99!

(East Toledo residents add $500,000 for shipping and handling)

I wish I was an Olympic athlete.
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
$500,000 seems a bit steep, we just put in a pony express stop.

Granted! Chicago wins the 2016 summer olympic bid and as host selects for demonstration sport belly flop brat eating. You place fifth of five behind Poland, Samoa, Japan and a recently discovered pygmy nation.

I wish I had had a more nutritious supper instead of two bags of candy and a candy bar.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
you won the bronze medal in curling ... in 1948.

I wish the Olympic biathletes were as much fun to watch as their name leads my mind to imagine.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
BB:

Granted, you had a more nutritious supper. You had three bags of candy and four candy bars, thus consuming more of the trace nutrients in the candy. After all that junk food, you may be getting just a tad bit ill.

LB:

Granted. Olympic biathletes are as much fun to watch as their name leads your mind to imagine. You now suffer from acute aphasia and when you say "biathlete" you really mean "snail".

I wish Lad Boy would post a picture of himself in which he is wearing his running shorts.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:

I wish running shorts were considered appropriate office attire, here at my office, where I am now employed, and will continue to be employed for the foreseeable future.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, however there is a re-arrangement of cubicles and desks. You are now surrounded by all the old ladies who work in you office. The running shorts show off their varicose veins and cellulite perfectly.

I wish I could take a year and travel throughout the world.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted: you get to travel the world throughout the year 5,000,000 b.c., shouldn't be too crowded at the airport.

I wish the construction-labor protestors picketing outside my office could sing and chant better.
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted: They all join the moonies and construct a tofu and lactose tolerant limberger cheese office complex just outside your window.

I wish I would get to work on those lesson plans and stop exploring message boards.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted Your computer has just picked up a NASTY virus and will self destruct in 10 minutes. You'll have no distractions to keep you from working on those lesson plans now (providing they weren't ON your computer).

I wish I had butt loads of charm and grace.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, your butt is full of charm and grace. The rest of you now repels people.

I wish I had a cleaning person for my apartment.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. Your new cleaning person, Alice DeHazel, is the best in Boston. She’s quick, thorough, kind and considerate. And she’s almost completely put those years with the Manson family member behind her .

I wish I could be a shape shifter and thus shift shapes.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. You are now quality control for those shifting square (that's a shape) puzzles. Your title is Head Shape Shifter.

I wish I had a cook who makes wonderful, tasty, & healthy meals for me.
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted: Hannibal Lector is your new cook. Avoid the fava beans.

I wish I could come up with some fun NON-math lesson plans for the first couple days of class.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. However, your new lesson plan, "How to Explore the Universe Using Mind Altering Drugs", though both fun and informative, sends parents into a uproar and gets you canned.

I wish I had a wise and noble Kung Fu master to teach me about Kung Fu and stuff.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. A wise and noble Kung Fu master teaches you all about a certain 1970s TV series starring David Carradine.

I wish I had been popular in high school.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. The week all the other students were home with the flu, your popularity soared.

I wish I could time travel to 1776 and meet the founding fathers of the United States.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
One way trip!

I wish an attractive, generally shirtless, man would buy a home in my neighborhood and take great pleasure coming to my home to work, competently, relatively quickly, and totally for free, and, again, while generally shirtless, on my bike and my VW.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. Your wife makes sure you have many errands to run when he is over. She enjoys watching him though.

I wish I had powers like Samantha Stevens.
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Pardon the interruption

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ram Boy:
Granted. However, your new lesson plan, "How to Explore the Universe Using Mind Altering Drugs", though both fun and informative, sends parents into a uproar ...

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:
Granted. Your wife makes sure you have many errands to run when he is over. She enjoys watching him though.

I wish I had powers like Samantha Stevens.

---

Granted: you sneeze and wipe out a kleenex factory and a small Kansas town.

I wish this back pain would go away!
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. After Ram Boy leaves on a one week luxury cruise to West Toledo, the pain in your back disappears. However, after he realizes how much he misses his fellow Legion Worlders and returns early, strangely enough, so does your posterior pain.

I wish for a delightfully delectable Dilly Bar from Dairy Queen.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. You make wishes that are given to a delightfully delectable Dilly Bar from Dairy Queen. That really wasn't a wish so much as a statement.

I wish a very handsome, well-built, shirtless man would take care of all my housework.
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted: A very handsome, well-built, shirtless man just blew up your house.

I wish everying being hit by floods safety and a return to normalcy.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted.

Every "Ing" that was hit by a flood has now gone safely back to Normal, Illinois.

I wish all my friends on Legion World could celebrate my birthday with me.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, and we manage to get you arrested in record time. Who knew that it was against the law to take penquins from the zoo and have them jump out of a cake?


I wish I could win the Mega Millions drawing tonight.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted, tonight you will win the Mega Millions drawing. Tomorrow it will be discovered that it was all a mistake and the actual winner was an oil company executive from Exxon-Mobil. Don't despair though, you get fifty bucks and a canned ham for your trouble.

I wish my head was carved on Mount Rushmore.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, you now look like Theodore Roosevelt.


I wish I had a rich "Sugar Daddy".
 

---

Posted by Stratum on :
 
Granted, you are now Mrs. Quisley-Trump, Esq.

I wish I had a 'Butterfinger'.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
You have a butter finger and a margarine head.

I wish I could attend both days of the Baltimore Comicon this year.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. You'll have plenty of free time to attend any comic convention you want, for as many days as you want, after over 125 gigabytes of porn is found clogging your computer at work. Strangely enough, all of it is from Nasty G's Super HOT Triple-X Rated !!!Spank-That-Monkey!!! Nastiest Peep-Show-Ever Site.

I wish I had a magical money tree.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:

(great)You have a magical money tree.

(good)It produces high quality, almost undetectably counterfeit $20 bills.

(bad) Unfortunately the Secret Service detects the fraud and you wind up in a federal prison.

(good/bad depends on perspective)You achieve cult status with your streaming prison videos that appear non-stop on Nasty G's Super HOT Triple-X Rated !!!Spank-That-Monkey!!! Nastiest Peep-Show-Ever Site.

I wish George W. Bush had been more successful as a baseball team owner.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. W stuck with baseball because of his success. Dick Cheney then picked Neil Bush to be his running mate.

I wish I had a magical monkey tree. (That's how I first read Ram Boy's wish)
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
(great)You have a magical monkey tree.

(good)It produces high quality monkeys.

(bad) Unfortunately the USDA has found you to be in violation of several statutes involving the care and keeping of monkeys, and you wind up in a federal prison.

(good/bad depends on perspective)You achieve cult status with your streaming prison videos that appear non-stop on Nasty G's Super HOT Triple-X Rated !!!Spank-That-Magic-Monkey!!! Nastiest Peep-Show-Ever Site.

I wish I had a well-preserved copy of Adventure #247.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, you have a mint condition copy of Adventure #247 printed just this year. It is also encased in a solid block of lucite. Enjoy.

I wish I had artistic talent similar to Sketch Lad.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
You can produce beautiful and whimsical work similar to Sketch Lad's except the only medium you can work with is magical monkey feces. Your gallery showings are rather pooly attended.

I wish DC Comics would request and use and generously compensate me for my opinions about the creative and marketing direction of their comics.

[ September 23, 2007, 08:31 PM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, you are compensated with back issues of Plop! and Bob Hope comics. They are very generous with the number of issues they give you.

I wish I could witness historical events while being completely safe.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! You will enjoy watching Ken Burns' new documentary film The War in the safety of your own home.

I wish I were built like one of the models in the International Male catalogue.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, although being two dimensions must make it hard to interact with people and things.

I wish I looked like one of the models in the International Male Catalogue.
 

---

Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted: what a month for McFarland to begin advertising his new "Clown" action figure.

I wish more college football games were on regular network instead of cable.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. They appear on a special new network that broadcasts on a system that does not allow the broadcast to be recorded. The games are shown at 3am on weeknights. Oh and especially close games get pre-empted at the 2 minute warning for "Heidi".

I wish I could create a really good puzzle.

[ September 22, 2007, 03:15 PM: Message edited by: Quislet, Esq. ]
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! You've created a puzzle whose moral rectitude is beyond refutation.

I wish the Howard Johnson's restaurant chain would make a successful comeback.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Howard Johnson's has successfully repositioned itself in the fast food world. The chain caters to chain smoking consumers of lard and gristle.

I wish I hadn't left my cell phone at home this morning.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. You took your cell phone with you and lost it when you went to the comic book store. Some punk finds it and makes hundreds of long distance calls before you realize it is missing.

I wish I had a new high def flatscreen television set.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Your 120" Sony plasma screen TV has been installed in your living room. You no longer have access to the bathroom door. You can only watch the Discovery channel and they're broadcasting nothing but reruns of the Undersea World of Jacques Cousteau.

I wish Dennis Calero's solicited cover for LSH 34 had been used instead of the Kolins cover.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted!

Dennis' cover was used on a limited run of 100 copies, all available exclusively at a comic book store in Boise, Idaho, at $75.00 a pop.

I wish Peter Petrelli, the Heroes character, were my boyfriend.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. Did you see the preview for tonight's show? He's not looking very pretty right now. And Mama Petrelli is constantly scheming to eliminate you. Having an openly gay son would not be good for the family image.

I wish my favorite meal will be waiting for me, nice and hot, when I get home tonight.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
It's on the table ... smells delicious. Beware of the three-headed dog tied to the table leg; he's a little possessive.

I wish reading comic books of my own choosing and posting on LegionWorld were actually part of my current job, not just something I do when I'm not getting my work done.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
You've been promoted .. to babysit your supervisor's 4 pre-teen children. Part of your job is to read them comics and make certain that their posting activity on LegionWorld fits their parent's Christian agenda. Unfortunately most of your posts on LW are asking others to "tone it down." People really begin to resent your sanctimonious tone, and the powers that be have no choice but to ban you.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
The power of prayer and the fact that Gary and I now attend the same Church of the Holier than Thou has resulted in my resurrection on Legion World.

I wish Semi would repent from his evil ways and add a wish for the Nasty Genie to grant.

Amen.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
I wish that Lad Boy would forgive my past transgressions, that I would earn his eternal gratitude,a and that he would become my humble (and I stress "humble") servant.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, He moves in with his wife and three kids. The kids love playing with your dogs so much that the dogs are too tired to go through their show paces. And due to Lad Boy's eternal gratitude, they would not think of living anywhere else.

I wish Mr. Muggles got more air time on "Heroes".
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Mr. Muggles is unconscious in an ICU and connected to a respirator for air.

I wish I could run to work, that is from my current home in VA which has not been, nor ever will be, encased in lucite or teleported into the Potomac to my current office in DC (also lucite and teleportation free) in less than 30 minutes.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. You can now run the distance from home to work in under 30 minutes. To make sure of it, an ex-con will be chasing you in a 1973 El Camino (and really...who else would have one?), and will run you over if you should start to fall behind.


I wish I had unrestricted access to all areas of the Kennedy Space Center.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted: Your a cockroach, watch out for the ex-con exterminator in the beautiful 73 El Camino.

I wish I could spend my lunch hour today with Ram Boy.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted.

The people around you at the restaurant point and stare at the man eating lunch with a young male sheep.

I wish there had been a celebration for the fiftieth anniversary of the JSA in 1990 like there will be next year for the Legion.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted. Jim Shooter and Francis Manupal took over JSA, rebooting it into what in now referred to as the "Archie JLA," leaving only Rob Liefeld available for the Legion's 50th anniversary.

I do not wish that it were not untrue that the Nasty Genie would not grant my wish to have no more wishes not granted by someone other than the Nasty Genie.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Poof, you're now a mute frog. (Do NOT screw with the Genie's head before he's had his coffee)

I wish someone would decipher Lad Boy's last wish.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. Al Gore is able to decipher Lad Boy's last wish. He has to live with you for 3 months to actually explain it to you.

I wish a rich handsome male model would fall in love with me.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
He moves in with his wife and three kids.


I wish my next speaking engagement were in Memphis instead of Pittsburgh.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. You've been booked to speak at The National Association of People Who Hate People Who Like The Legion of Superheroes But REALLY Hate People Who Live in Washington DC Even More....Memphis Chapter. Now remember to start things off with a joke!

I wish the male model pictured above would come out of the closet and admit that he's gay.(gay-gay not gayer-than-springtime-gay)
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
He's both gay-gay gayer-than-springtime-gay and he's mine, all mine. Stop looking at him or I'll cut you.

I wish I were gayer-than-springtime-gay.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. You are also April fresh, deep-down soft and have no static cling. You spend the rest of your life in a fabric softener commercial.

I wish I were in that fabric softener commercial with Lad Boy.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. Your parts in the commercial were filmed on different days and in different cities.

Lad Boy, I thought that model was mine?


I wish Bionic Woman was a better show than it is.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! The original Bionic Woman, with Lindsay Wagner, is a better show than the new one is.

I wish Captain Jack Harkness would show up at my door and carry me off to Cardiff to join him at Torchwood.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, Although when you arrive, the Weevil has escaped from its cell and bites your head off. Some much for your first (and last) adventure.

I wish they would drop the romance angle in the current Dr. Who series.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. The producers of Dr.Who have dropped the romance angle in favor of FABULOUS musical production numbers featuring lots of JAZZ hands.

I wish I could tap dance like a hopped up chorus girl.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
You tap dance like a hopped up chorus girl -- nonstop. It impedes your . . . you know . . . capacity for dating.

I wish all the Legion Worlders who post in this thread were going to be in Pittsburgh next week.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted. They WERE going to be, but aren't now.

I wish I could go on the maiden voyage of the Queen Victoria in a first class suite, all expenses paid no strings attached, and the ship doesn't sink, and I have a wonderful time and I don't get arrested upon docking.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, However the ship does go through a time warp and spends 50 years in the Paleolithic era. Upon docking you are taken for scientific examination.

I wish I could travel free of charge by airplane whenever I wanted to and none of the airplanes I ride on crash.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted, you can travel free of charge -- electrostatic charge -- that is, thanks to the new grounding system in the super safe planes that never crash.

I wish that all my wishes would be granted in the spirit I intended, and not thwarted by a Nasty Genie.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Your wishes are all granted -- to Quislet, esq.

I wish Dennis Calero would compose and post a limerick in the Limericks thread at Legionworld.net.
 

---

Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Granted. Dennis Calero does compose and post a limerick at 3:30 am, EDT. All legion worlders are asleep. Unfortunately, Dennis gets cold feet when he realizes that his limerick reveals which legion worlder he has a crush on. So, without anyone ever seeing his post, Dennis deletes it.

I wish someone would come up with the next wish for me, and that it would be such a fabulous wish, that people would be talking about me admiringly for weeks to come (because they had nothing better to do, apparently).
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
People can't stop talking about "ME" -- that's right Maine, the crisp autumn weather along the coast, the alpine skiing on ungroomed natural powder, the economy, the governor of Maine. Here on LegionWorld, Maine has become the next MLLASH.

I wish I could teleport from my house to Maine (and back again) whenever I chose to do so -- and not some godforsaken Maine backwater or urban slum, but the nice parts of Maine that one sees in calendars, and dammit, Genie, no lucite cubes or teleportation taxes, either.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. When you teleport it will take approximately two months to get there during which time you will temporarily cease to exist--much like this thread.

I wish I had finished writing that novel I started all those years ago and it was published and became a bestseller.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, and your fame causes Britney Spears to start stalking you.

I wish no one ever had heard of Britney Spears.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted.

She is now (and always has been) named Hortense Lipschitz.

I wish I were less neurotic.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. Dr.Helmut Von Nasty has delved into your past and uncovered the root of all your neuroses...



...your bill for this therapy is $10,000,000.00

I wish I owned a 4 star restaurant.
 

---

Posted by Pizza Delivery Girl on :
 
Granted!

Now if only you had thought to wish for fire insurance while you were at it...

I wish I knew how to ride a unicycle.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. You are now a unicycle aficionado with a case of hemorrhoids that would make a wildebeest cry

I wish Nightcrawler had the biggest, most powerful server available as this would enhance all of our Legion World experiences (see...I share my wishes).
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, however the cost of maintaining such a server requires Nightcrawler to charge us for accessing Legion World. The access fee is $10,000 per month.

I wish I had Triplicate Girl's power.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! You have the powers Triplicate Girl had after her first two bodies were killed.

I wish I were omnipotent.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. As of today you are omnipotent. As of yesterday the word omnipotent means short and gassy.

I wish the next poster would use his or her wish to wish for a million dollars for me.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
I made a million dollars for you, real money, not some fakey nasty genie xeroxed stuff. Unfortunately, due to recent changes in the Internal Revenue Code, you owe $1,000,000 in taxes plus interest at 5.25 % / per year compounded daily accruing as of 1/12/08.

Next:
I wish the Starbucks moving into my neighborhood would be staffed by sexy 2xist underwear models.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, however they have extremely bad body odor. However you can bearly smell the body odor due to their halitosis. And Starbucks has just announced that the offical store uniform is the burka.

I wish it was warm enough so I didn't have to use my furnace.
 

---

Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
You've died and gone to hell... and you just thought it was a Legion World gathering.

I wish I had a cup of coffee.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! You have a cup of coffee grounds.

I wish I had a cleaning service to clean my condo for me.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. They do a wonderful job. Everything is clean and in it's place. Um but you don't know where they put your comic books or the remote or all the toilet paper or your checkbook. And the next day, you find that they cleaned out your bank accounts too.

I wish I was the Professor on Gilligan's Island.
 

---

Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. You are the Professor and due to a coconut famine that has hit the island the Skipper is now looking at you with great big goo-goo eyes.

I wish I was the male version of Ginger on Gilligan's island.
 

---

Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted.

You are now a Gingerbread Man running around on Gilligan's Island. And the Skipper is hungry!

I wish people would start posting to the limericks thread again.
 

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Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. Everyone rushes to post a limerick all at the same time. This causes the whole internet to crash. Stock prices plummet, businesses fail, infrastructure crumbles, hordes of horny men take to the streets demanding their internet porn, Martha Stewart makes a lovely pine cone wreath, and everyone knows that it was your wish.

I wish I would win the lottery with enough real money to let every Legion Worlder attend Comic Con 2008.
 

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Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted. Every Legion Worlder attends Comic Con 2008. This causes real estate prices to plummet, businesses to fail, infrastructures to crumble; hordes of horny men take over the streets of San Diego demanding their internet porn, Martha Stewart makes a lovely pine cone wreath, and everyone knows that it was your wish.

Next:

I wish my life were so interesting that I wasn't just a little bit excited to see the opening of a new Starbucks at the end of my street.
 

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Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, your life now resembles the life of a soap opera character. (without gorgeous young things wanting to have sex with you)

I wish Martha Stewart would make me a lovely pine cone wreath.
 

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Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted: You are a lovely pine cone wreath, just so you don't get too lonely, Ram Boy is a lovely cypress garland.

Next:
I wish the man rubbing against my shoulder on the bus right now looked and smelled like a freshly showered male Calvin Klein underwear model.
 

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Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted: You are a lovely pine cone wreath, just so you don't get too lonely, Ram Boy is a lovely cypress garland.

Next:
I wish the man rubbing against my shoulder on the bus right now looked and smelled like a freshly showered male Calvin Klein underwear model.
 

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Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. You break your arm when everyone else on the bus push you out of the way and trample you in order to be next to this guy. A small fat balding guy with 2 inch nose hairs and reeking of garlic comes to your aid.

I wish the US presidential election system would be remade into a system that is fair and honest, represented the true will of the people, and not subject to corrupting influences.
 

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Posted by CJ Taylor on :
 
Granted. The US presidential election system has become a fairy tale. Now we're all subjected to the will of Warren Buffet.


I wish my comic book collection had more LSH issues.
 

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Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
Send me a SASE and I'll send you my extra copy of S/LSH 217.

I wish my comic book collection included a relatively complete copy of S/LSH 205.
 

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Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, you have a complete copy of S/LSH 205. The previous owner recolored/redrew all the characters and erased the word balloons, adding in his own dialogue.

I wish my favorite dinner was waiting for me, ready to eat, nice and warm, when I get home tonight.
 

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Posted by CJ Taylor on :
 
Granted. Your favourite dinner is waiting for you, warm and delicious looking. You see it when you walk in the door, Belinda sitting on the table next to it. She runs to greetyou, knocking the plate off the table, and spilling your meal all over the floor.

I wish I was going to see In Brugges tonight.
 

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Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, A free pass for In Brugges appears in your hand. The pass includes a coupon for free popcorn and soda. Any other commitments you might have had for tonight have re-arranged themselves.

In Brugges (not to be confused with the critically acclaimed film In Bruges) reminds you of another film that you have recently seen, Jumper. It actually is Jumper just with a new title. You find that you are stuck in your seat and can't get up.

I wish I didn't have to clean up the mess Belinda made of my meal.
 

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Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:

Granted, you decide to focus, instead, on the mess Belinda has made of your wardrobe. What started this morning as a closet full of dapper attire with as a single loose thread on a jacket has been turned into a really big pile of threads and scraps of fabric. Baaaad Kitty.

I wish my boss would take a vacation - a long vacation in Antarctica.
 

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Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted! He likes it so much down there that he decides to open an Antarctica office and insists you move down to manage it. Need an English-Pyngwyny dictionary?

I wish pop standards (think Broadway/Hollywood in the '30s, '40s and '50s) were the popular music today.
 

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Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. However, you still have people like Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears, 50 Cents, and Eminem sing them. This destroyes any pleasant memories you had of these songs.

I wish I could get all my comic books for free.
 

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Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted you can get all of your comic books for free. Books from the comic store will now cost you double the list price and just to be ... nasty ... you are now subject to a 50% surtax on groceries.

I wish the Hall of Justice were really located in Washington, DC.
 

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Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, It is right next door to your house. Property values are none existant as supervillians constantly inflict collateral damage on your house. Plus the noise from the Batplane and Invisible Jet coming and going at all hours makes it hard to sleep.

I wish I could take a tour of the Hall of Justice
 

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Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. And because you didn't end your wish with a punctuation mark, one can only assume that the rest of wish was; "Clarence Thomas!" You're free to tour his downstairs Hall this Thursday between 9:00 and 9:15 am.

I wish for that the grammer police did'nt terrorise the internet like they do do now!!1!
 

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Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
The Grammar Police are now a part of the Department of Homeland Security. Minor grammar infractions are cause for indefinite detainment at Guantanamo. Major grammar errors (using who instead of whom) are grounds for death.

I wish everyone at my agency valued my opinions as much as I do.
 

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Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. Your agency is now rife with people who value your opinion. So much so that they no longer trust their own opinions and constantly seek out yours. In fact, they can't even pick out their own underwear without getting an opinion from you. Hope you don't mind fielding their calls morning, noon, and all hours of the night.

I wish I was the host of a TV show on the Discovery Channel.
 

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Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted. As the new host on Mythbusters your first myth to disprove is that all LMB posters are actually MLLASH. Turns out, not only is it not a myth but also half of Tennesee and several high ranking members of the President's Cabinent are MLLASH and you've been exiled to a small caribean island, take a snorkle.

I wish I had a clever wish.
 

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Posted by Teronna on :
 
Granted. But now you've used up your wish, and cannot use your clever wish. Oops.

I wish Spring Break started tomorrow, and was 9 weeks long.
 

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Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted.

"Tomorrow" now means "in 45 years" and "week" now denotes a period of 15 minutes.

I wish they would make another season of the Legion cartoon.
 

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Posted by Lard Lad on :
 
Granted.

Season Three will be entitled "Legion of Super Heroes featuring Slimer, Scrappy Doo and Gleek and the Wonder Twins" in order to attract a younger fanbase.

I wish The Beatles were all alive and would reunite to make music as amazing as they did in the '60s.
 

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Posted by Lad Boy on :
 
Granted:
Concert tickets are $10,000 (that's approximately 895,123.74 euros)

Their new recordings are available in limited release only on 45 rpm records. Vintage record players are available on eBay for a lot more money than you will ever have.

I wish my friend Will would invite me over to his place right now.
 

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Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. Will invites you over to his place and answers the door wearing a Cool Whip bikini and army boots.

I wish that Lad Boy would come over and do my Spring cleaning for me (and do a good job of it).
 

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Posted by Blockade Boy on :
 
Granted. Lad boy cleaned you completely out of springs and now your mattress is lumpy.

I wish I had cable so I could watch the boys' state basketball championships, our league has two teams in the final four.
 

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Posted by Lard Lad on :
 
Granted. But both of your teams lose by 50 points.

I wish I was so rich that I didn't have to work.
 

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Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, you are so rich that you don't have to work. That is until the IRS comes at takes all your money away in penalties and interest for not declaring your new found wealth on your tax return.


I wish I had a job doing something I liked, with nice co-workers and that paid me enough to pay all my bills and have some money left over for me.
 

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Posted by Lard Lad on :
 
Granted. But you're laid off after one week due to company downsizing. Hope you enjoyed it while it lasted!

I wish I were around 6 feet tall (I'm only 5'7") and had an athletic build.
 

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Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. You're 6'3" tall and have the build of Olympic athlete Michelle Kwan. Gangly doesn't begin to describe you*.

Ok Genie, I wish for cash. Cold, hard cash. GIMME LOTS OF CASH!!!

ETA - *horrifyingly gangly comes close though

[ March 14, 2008, 10:22 PM: Message edited by: Ram Boy ]
 

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Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
 
Granted. You have been given the corpse of Johnny Cash, who, having been dead for about five years is pretty cold and stiff.

I wish I get my house cleaned.
 

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Posted by Teronna on :
 
Granted. Your house has now been cleaned out by burglars.

I wish I was a morning person.
 

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Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted. You wake up fresh and alert, ready for anything at dawn each day. You also fall asleep at exactly 7:35pm every day and sleep until dawn.

I wish there would be at least five more seasons of the Legion of Superheroes cartoon with each episode better than the last.
 

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Posted by Fat Cramer on :
 
Granted. On the eve of the new season, you are most unfortunately stricken blind. At least you can still listen.

I wish there was world peace.
 

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Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, an alien race invades the Earth and destroyes all life on the planet. They then mine all our water to power their war machines that let them mine the water on other planets. When they leave all that remains is a lifeless planet of stone. But there is world peace.

I wish I was independently wealthy.
 

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Posted by Fat Cramer on :
 
Granted. You have great wealth but you are assaulted with demands from charities and you find your fellow billionaires to be pretentious and boring.

I wish I could play the piano really well.
 

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Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, you can play the piano as well as Beethoven and you are now as deaf as he was.

I wish I could go back and visit other times.
 

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Posted by Lard Lad on :
 
Granted. You now have the power to visit either the beginning or end of time. Unfortunately, if you do, you will perish in either respective cataclysm.

I wish I were Batman.
 

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Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Granted, you are Batman. Sprouting Adam West dialog and wearing the Clooney nipple costume.

I wish I had a good home computer and great plus free internet connection.
 

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Posted by Fat Cramer on :
 
Granted. Your computer is infected with a deadly virus and used to hack into secret CIA files, leading to your arrest.

I wish I knew at 20 what I know now.
 

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Posted by Ram Boy on :
 
Granted. At 20 you know that middle age sucks, oil conglomerates will rule the world, and purple puce and cantaloupe will be among the hot color trends for spring 2008. Comforting, no?

I wish I would win an Academy Award (or "Oscar") next year! I'm Ready! I've been practicing my speech for years and think it's as good as it's gonna get!
 

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Posted by Teronna on :
 
Granted. Award speech time limits have decreased once again, and you now have exactly 2.5 seconds to thank your spouse, your mother, your best friend, your producer, your next door neighbor, your first grade teacher...

I wish my friend wasn't busy and could come with me to Florida during spring break.
 

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Posted by Ram Boy on :