I got this idea from the Victorian Flirting Thread.
It probably won't even make a second page.
The idea is this:
I provide the first line for a limerick, you make up the other 4 lines, then provide a new first line for a new limerick. (for those who don't know, a limerick consists of 5 lines. The 1st, 2nd, & 5th rhyme with each other and the 3rd & 4th rhyme with each other.)
Hint: end the first line with an easily rhymable word. The idea is to create limericks, not stump the other person
So my first line is:
There once was a boy from Scotland
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Who had never been to a hot land So he got in his car And he drove very far Until he was mired in hot sand.
Next one (this is fun and I think it will appeal to those who frequent the Make a Sentence thread, as well as others):
I once knew a dandy named Randy
[ May 06, 2005, 12:41 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
He had the serious hots for Andy But oh, such cruel fate, Andy was strait, And was totally infatuated with Mandy
They called her a total ice queen
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
For ne'er with a beau was she seen Her standards were high And no man caught her eye Until she met bald Mister Clean.
Next one:
Tickle my nose with a feather
[ May 06, 2005, 01:03 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
dress me up in some leather take me to the scene call me a fetish queen but don't talk to me about the weather.
Next:
When on a trip to New York Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
I opted to sail out of Cork the weather was bumpy the staff, they were frumpy and each dinner they served us cold pork
Next: It was a dark and stormy night
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
At Sarge's you don't ask for pork The latkes are swell And the matzo as well So don't let them know you're a dork.
Next:
I floated in upon a cloud Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Kent, you usurper!
My hair was a mess and a fright I ran out of gel And looked just like hell So I kept me out of the light.
Next: I floated in upon a cloud Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
(we used to 'bump into' each other's thread often last summer, I recall.)
As I arrived, all were wowed But my arrival did fizz when Mick said it was his His "Hey! You! Get off!" was quite loud
Next: There once was a man from Rome
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Whose beer had a big head of foam He licked his lips In between sips And after a few he went home.
Next:
I met an old man on a hunt
[ May 06, 2005, 03:18 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
You might say that he was a runt With dagger in hands He'd leap from tree stands It was quite an amazing stunt
Next:
She looked at me with such scorn
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
That I wished I'd never been born My pants had been ripped My fly was unzipped And she'd had a peek at my horn!
Next:
I wrote a message to my love
[ May 08, 2005, 07:56 AM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
And sent it in a box with a dove But the box was air tight Oh what a sight And then I was given the shove.
Next:
There once was a vicar in London
Posted by Brainiac 5 on :
Who reeked like a 12 week-old onion He refused to bathe Or shower or shave And the stench sent parishoners runnin'
(London is hard to rhyme, Quis!!)
"The locals all knew of Jolene"
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
She dressed herself up like a queen When she was down She'd put on her crown And parade into town to be seen.
Next,
Into the clouds I did float Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Into the clouds I did float
And dragons there I did smote When I was a child my imagination ran wild but now they call me an old goat.
(note to Brainiac 5: you did an excellant job rhyming "London")
Next:
A young girl went a dancing
(edited to add first line from the previous page)
[ May 09, 2005, 08:06 AM: Message edited by: Quislet, Esq. ]
Posted by Brainiac 5 on :
To find a beau for romancing But to her dismay They all were quite gay Ignoring her while they were prancing.
A lawyer named Joseph O'Hare
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
[Responding to "A young girl went a dancing"]
At a hip hop club in Lansing But a run in her hose And two broken toes Made her moves look more like prancing.
Next:
I tasted honey upon my lip
[ May 09, 2005, 12:09 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
[Braniac, you beat me to it.] [Responding to "A lawyer named Joseph O'Hare"]
Took a case upon a dare The evidence was slim And the outcome was grim For the client who had lost all her hair.
Next:
I tasted honey upon my lip
[ May 09, 2005, 12:08 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Brainiac 5 on :
And tried to make a witty quip I felt a sharp crack Across my poor back For Honey had brought her good whip!
A virtuous lass named JoAnne
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Set her sights on a virtuous man But she was in for a shock When that guy named Brock Threw her over for virtuous Stan.
Next:
The judge had an itch on her chin Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
The evidence was quite thin the jury retired their deliberations mired but the defense still expected a win.
Next:
While sweeping up the school yard
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
but the Bailiff was as blind as sin So the prison in the dock got sent to the block and the Executioner did some choppin'
Next:
While surfing on the internet
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Kent beat me to the punch
While sweeping up the school yard John found a bunch of report cards There were some 'A's & 'B's in the subject of geometry But John saw that calculus was quite hard.
Next:
While surfing on the internet
Posted by minesurfer on :
I met a chick named Yvette Her manner was nice with no hint of vice but she could be Alex Trebec.
Next:
There was a man from Pawtucket
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
(Hey Minesurfer, my mom's name is Yvette. She is nice, with no hint of vice, by the way. )
Who bought chicken in a bucket But after his first bite He went hungry that night 'Cause the colonel had forgotten to pluck it.
Next,
I felt a breeze upon my neck Posted by minesurfer on :
(Semi, glad to hear that about your mom... you sure she's not Alec Trebec? )
I felt a breeze upon my neck
So I turned around to check My hair was now parted by someone who farted And two others were out cold on the deck.
Next:
My sister loves to eat cookies.
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
(She is Canadian, but not Mr. Trebec, I assure you.)
With her friends the race-track bookies They like to take bets And run up the debts Of poor innocent young rookies.
Next:
I placed the body on the slab Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
And quickly hailed a cab I didn't do it; I'll never admit, Besides at the time I was in rehab.
Next:
Once on a clear summer day
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
I acted silly, I acted gay I drank champagne On Mockingbird Lane And asked the Munsters out to play.
Next:
Can you believe what I read Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Can you believe what I read? It said that Elvis was dead! The King is alive He'll always survive Eating fried bananas on bread
Next:
While on a flight to Sudan
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
I sat next to an old naked man When dinner was served The plane suddenly swerved And he was dressed in salad and flan.
Next:
I ran so fast that I tripped and fell
[ May 11, 2005, 03:11 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
while playing and frolicing in the dell things turned grave and I had a close shave when I nearly stepped into an abandoned well.
NEXT:
A country lad from New Hampshire
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Went into town for a lamp, dear But he got in a muddle And he fell in a puddle And he ended up with a damp rear.
Next,
A proud and feisty little Cannuck Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Doesn't need any luck With mad skill he is such a thrill And you should see him handle a puck.
NEXT:
In a palace most grand
[ May 12, 2005, 02:50 PM: Message edited by: Quislet, Esq. ]
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
I place this ring upon your hand On bended knee I state my plea Be the queen of this fair land.
Next:
Oh gracious queen of my poor heart Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
How sad I am when we part While I am away Each second - a day And the sweetest things taste tart.
NEXT:
A fanciful cat in Bucharest
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
(Look, Quis, we're on page 3 -- and you didn't think we'd even get to page 2!)
Rid my flat of a rodent pest He hit that rat And squished it flat And now my kitty desrves a rest.
Next,
I Drown my sorrows in my gin Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I don't know where to begin The rent is overdue I have the flu And my boyfriend is as ugly as sin.
NEXT:
Down the road came a dog
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
And sat beside me on a log He looked at me Then took a pee And disappeared into the fog.
Next:
There once was a chicken named Little Posted by Brainiac 5 on :
Along side hopped a big frog They made a strange sound That toad and that hound Reminded me of a sick hog.
A whiskey, a gin and a beer...
Posted by Brainiac 5 on :
Got me Semi...
Posted by Brainiac 5 on :
There once was a chicken named Little Who ended up caught in the middle Of a falling sky And the Earth, that's why He wound up having to piddle.
A whiskey, a gin and a beer
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Is enough to make one feel queer It will make you drunk As an unsteady skunk And you will fall down on your rear.
Next:
I once had an auto named Dent Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Whose frame was wickedly bent Until at last I went too fast and to the junkyard he went.
NEXT:
A pretty young thing from Spain
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Like to play on the plain She'd run and jump And take a dump But go in when it started to rain.
NEXT:
There was a young man from LA
Note: pronounced "El Aye"
[ May 16, 2005, 12:08 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
With Greybird he wanted to play But Viv intervened And Elvis Lad screamed So Semi went north to the Bay
Next:
Miner got wasted at SHAKES
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
When he met a couple of flakes Spotting a pond He used a wand And now the flakes are drakes.
NEXT:
From a county fair in Mayberry
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
I smelled some food most savory the barbecued chicken was worth a good lickin' but the crowd was more blue-blood than labor-y
Next:
My neighbor, old man Pendergast
Posted by Yellow Kid on :
My neighbor, old man Pendergast Disturbingly eyes a much younger lass So I switched the name tags On the mailbox and bags Now everyone knows Mr.Pederast
next: The girl that we knew as sweet Violet
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
The girl that we knew as sweet Violet Auditioned for an ABC pilot The producer's a git But the show is a hit So if there's nothing else on, dial it
Next: While cruising the Baltic Sea
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I saw someone I thought was a she But as it turned out He had something to flout So we retired to his room - tee hee
NEXT:
I stopped to smell a flower
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
I stopped to smell a flower I did it on my lunch hour its guest I did not see so I was stung by the bee turning the whole event rather sour.
Next:
How I miss Captain Crunch
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Now that I've had my lunch The milk did spill I've had my fill from eating bananas - a whole bunch.
NEXT:
They said I was wrong
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
They said that I was wrong To wear a paisley thong What a sight It was too tight I should have worn the sarong.
Next:
There was a young Briton named Sam
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Who went to a party in Rotterdam He went for a smoke And was offered a toke Then quoted Dr. Seuss - Sam, I am!
NEXT:
I live in an odd shaped house
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
I live in an odd shaped house With an old quadraplegic mouse He likes to eat cheese While I rub his knees With a pale pink satin blouse.
Next:
I like to climb the old oak tree
[ June 14, 2005, 12:58 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I like to climb the old oak tree And stay up there from five to three But when I have had a lot to drink I take some time to think Do I really need to climb down to pee?
NEXT:
A man and a boy did argue
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
A man and a boy did argue Over who had dibs on the pool cue The man said, "I'm older" The boy said, "I'm bolder" So Jane stepped in and said "Screw you!"
NEXT:
There once was a planet named Saturn
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
There once was a planet named Saturn Whose name fit a certain pattern Except for Earth and Uranus They are all famous For coming from the Latin
NEXT:
A young man from Daxam
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
A young man from Daxam Liked to put his feet up and relax 'em And write notes to his love His sweet turtle dove And after, to her,he'd fax 'em.
NEXT:
I spent the morning waiting in court
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
because of a case of tort but my lawyer died so I sat & cried "But this was my last resort!"
NEXT:
A cute young pup named Duncan
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Whose coat is white and light tan Likes to bite and chew Anything that's new Even his owner, the old man.
NEXT:
He likes to wear a nightie ( )
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
And you may think him a little flighty But how do you feel When it's the Man of Steel Do you still think his deeds are mighty?
NEXT:
Joy-riding in a Time Bubble
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Joy-riding in a Time Bubble We bumped the aging Hubble The lens popped out And floated about And boy were we in trouble!
NEXt:
She brushed her hair a hundred strokes
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
To make herself pretty for all the blokes But with a very big nose and many runs in her hose She was the butt of their jokes.
NEXT:
With my sweetheart at the fair
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
With my sweetheart at the fair I shot an arrow on a dare My aim was wide And I hit my bride But luckily only in her hair.
NEXT
Gleefully I took off my shorts
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Gleefully I took off my shorts Feeling free from all reports I was prancing about when I danced into a group of men Lucky for me they are all good sports.
NEXT:
Someone has a dirty mind
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Someone has a dirty mind They like to see me bump and grind Strip off my clothes Spin on my toes And with my beauty strike them blind.
NEXT:
Oh that man, he done me wrong
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
[An aside to Quis. Do you think we should advertise the Limmericks thread? It's really quite fun and all the rest of the Legion Worlders are missing out.]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
quote:Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow: [An aside to Quis. Do you think we should advertise the Limmericks thread? It's really quite fun and all the rest of the Legion Worlders are missing out.]
How would you advertise it?
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
With a limmerick?
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
quote:Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow: With a limmerick?
well I put a limerick in the shout box
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Oh that man, he done me wrong He expected me to wear a thong While he wore my dress It was quite a mess This ain't no country & western song.
NEXT:
A trio of teens at the space port
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
A trio of teens at the space port Tried to arouse the robot Gort Klaatu Barada Nikto Were the words, you know To make that giant a destructive sort.
NEXT
I love the Day the Earth Stood Still
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I love the Day the Earth Stood Still Watching it always gives me a thrill I was surprized to see It was on MST3 Their version made me feel ill
NEXT:
A pretty girl in a bonnet
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
A pretty girl in a bonnet Buzzed around like an angry hornet When asked why the rage She displayed her journal's page And said, "Why, somebody has torn it!"
Next:
A silly young man from the moon
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
A silly young man from the moon Entertained us all with a tune "When it is night, I'm quite a sight, But I'm invisible at noon."
NEXT
A tasty young tart named Alice
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
A tasty young tart named Alice Was summoned to the palace We heard you were smart And not just a tart So explain the Aurora Borealis.
NEXT:
There once was a princess from Psyonia
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
There once was a princess from Psyonia Who visited me in Patagonia When she was here She hated our beer Said it tasted like ammonia.
NEXT
I really love my Etch-A-Sketch
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I really love my Etch-A-Sketch And without it I would kvetch But then I got a pup And he chewed it up So now we play fetch.
NEXT:
On Legion World I did post
Posted by Lad Boy on :
On Legion World I did post And though I don't like to boast A girl from Nantucket Put my post in her bucket And said that she liked it the most.
NEXT:
While talking of Keats to a Durlan
Posted by Bureaucracy Boy on :
While talking of Keats to a Durlan His antennae started unfurlin' He said, "I'm a-tirin' Of poems by Byron, But Shelley starts my toes a-curlin'."
NEXT: Pariscub, Quislet, and Lad Boy
[ June 23, 2005, 01:37 PM: Message edited by: Bureaucracy Boy ]
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Pariscub, Quislet, and Lad Boy All fought over a new toy When Paris said "It's mine" Quis smacked his behind And Lad Boy clapped his hands in joy.
NEXT:
Where in the world has Lad Boy been
[ June 23, 2005, 01:49 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Bureaucracy Boy on :
Where in the world has Lad Boy been to Capitol Hill, again and again. His job, kids, and a wife, and the ex-boyfriend's strife make me worry about my good friend.
NEXT: Legion greats Waid and Kitson
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Legion greats Waid and Kitson Reimagined tales they have spun I like the cast and prefer it to the last So let's hope they have a very long run
NEXT:
Going to the comic book shop
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Going to the comic book shop I like to run and skip and hop At six foot three I'm a sight to see So I try to avoid the local cop.
NEXT
I peered into the garbage can
Posted by High Priestess Viviane on :
I peered into the garbage can And saw the trash of ole rich Stan Bras made from rubies To place on my boobies So now they sparkle for my man.
NEXT
She was loveliest of the old hags
[ June 24, 2005, 05:38 PM: Message edited by: High Priestess Viviane ]
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
She was loveliest of the old hags Beautiful even when wearing rags She'd go to the races Where she was simply aces Winning when she bet on the old nags.
NEXT
I stubbed my toe on a rock
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I stubbed my toe on a rock While cruising under a dock My cry of pain Was answered by Wayne A nice ending for my walk.
NEXT:
An old maid from Rome
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
An old maid from Rome Wandered far from home She got lost At quite a cost And ended up in Nome.
NEXT
A strapping young man from Zaire
[ June 27, 2005, 09:42 AM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
A strapping young man from Zaire Wanted to have a hot affair The one that he found Made him feel down Because the husband didn't care.
NEXT:
The strapping young man's brother
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
The strapping young man's brother Was a stripper like no other All would swoon When he bared his moon But never in front of their mother.
NEXT
I ate a pickle on my break
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I ate a pickle on my break But it was a mistake Because fairly quick I got very sick I shouldn't have had it with cake.
NEXT
It was a very hot day
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
It was a very hot day In the City by the Bay The boys wore no shirts Oh my they're such flirts All in all, it was tres gay.
NEXT
I climbed up on the old fire truck
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I climbed up on the old fire truck My foot, in a ladder, got stuck A fireman named Stan Rescued me, just my luck.
NEXT:
Upon an ivy covered wall
[ June 30, 2005, 08:37 AM: Message edited by: Quislet, Esq. ]
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Upon an ivy covered wall An egg sat calm before his fall His name was Humpty That's right, Sir Dumpty 'Till he got hit by a baseball.
NEXT:
Sitting pretty on her chair
[ June 30, 2005, 11:18 AM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Sitting pretty on her chair Was the girl who wasn't there With her I would play And while away the day Her name is Sue, but call her "Claire".
NEXT:
Back when I was young
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Back when I was young Taste of life on my tongue Days were merry Unpitted cherry My song yet to be sung.
NEXT
When lighting softly upon a star
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
When lighting softly on a star It is good to know who you are For a life Without strife That will help you go far.
NEXT:
Upon reading something very funny
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Upon reading something very funny Or even if it's just merely punny I laugh and cry just like a clown And giggle 'til my pants fall down And all the crowd showers me with money.
NEXT
There was a young lawyer from New York
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
There was a young lawyer from New York Who fancied for luncheon some roast pork But the rent that he paid Left his bank account flayed So he sat at his desk and did more work.
NEXT
A weekend at home is so charming
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
A weekend at home is so charming I did some gardening aka farming I pulled lots of weeds Some plants went to seed Which I found quite alarming
NEXT:
Traveling the world for three years
Posted by Bureaucracy Boy on :
Traveling the world for three years Might bring a grown man to tears Unless in each region There were friends of the Legion And lots of ales, stouts, and dark beers.
NEXT: The news about Lightning Lad
Posted by Lad Boy on :
The news about Lightning Lad Made Saturn Girl rather mad On Winath he ran All naked with Jan And still longs for the fun that they had.
NEXT:
Why does my lab smell like goats?
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Why does my lab smell like goats? Is the answer in my notes? Is it a dream To make me scream Or just dwarfs in woolen coats?
NEXT:
I wonder should I take this flight
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I wonder should I take this flight Or should I go by train tonight if not far I'd go by car Too many options to know which is right.
NEXT:
I walked hand in hand with my brother
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I walked hand in hand with my brother. We searched for our father and mother. Dad lay on one bed, Gagged, bound, and dead While Mom slept away on the other.
NEXT:
Monel's solemn Melons and Lemons
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
(Truly disturbing limerick, Lad Boy)
Monel's solemn Melons and Lemons Were the favorites of the Fremons, Give em a squeeze Oh pretty please Said writer dear old Samuel Clemmons
NEXT:
I'm happy as a buzzing bee
Posted by Lad Boy on :
(It's been a rough week, STF)
I'm happy as a buzzing bee Ready to sting someone like Vee Venomous poison, sudden pain Hallmarks of my domain Come closer now and sit with me.
NEXT: A Semi Transparent Felllow...
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
A semi transparent fellow was trying to be mellow Instead of a lark Things got quite dark How about a game of Othello?
NEXT:
A goth girl and a daisy
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
A goth girl and a daisy In atmosphere so hazy Appeared to shimmer And then grew dimmer This smog could drive you crazy
NEXT:
Veggie sushi is delicious
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Veggie sushi is delicious and very nutritious But quite the feat To get me to eat Something that sounds so malicious.
NEXT:
They said it couldn't be done
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Thye said it couldn't be done Eating pudding on the run Quite a mess I must confess But oh, it was so much fun.
NEXT:
I like to laugh and scratch my ear
(P.S. Fat Cramer, you are quite the grand master/mistress of limericks. I couldn't conquer "A goth girl and a daisy" as much as I tried.)
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I like to laugh and scratch my ear I even chuckle when drinking beer See, S.T Fellow, I can be mellow And not write of death and gloom here.
NEXT: I like to run naked in storms
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I like to run naked in storms On-lookers gather in swarms Where ever I go without my speedo A part of me performs
NEXT:
Sometimes when I blush
Posted by baycent54 on :
There was a Legionnaire, Imra who was very proper and prim-ra She never had a guy and when they asked why they found that her was a him-ra.
Posted by Vee on :
Sometimes when I blush The blood begins to rush To my face At a frantic pace Leaving it painted as if by a brush.
NEXT:
Whenever I think of the Legion
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Whenever I think of the Legion Each one of them a collegian Super powered And freshly showered They're tops in the metro region.
NEXT
I'm fresh and clean like a flower
(P.S. Some great new talent appearing lately, Vee and baycent.)
Posted by Vee on :
I'm fresh and clean as a flower After taking a five minute shower But to smell just divine A bubble bath is sublime Followed up by some nice, scented powder.
NEXT:
After a long day at work
[ July 08, 2005, 12:48 PM: Message edited by: Vee ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
After a long day at work my chores, I will shirk I'm need some relaxation So I'm off on a vacation Where is that hotel clerk?
NEXT:
Looking for a partner in crime
[ July 08, 2005, 01:30 PM: Message edited by: Quislet, Esq. ]
Posted by Bureaucracy Boy on :
Looking for a partner in crime Looking for him all the time I think he's near I smell something...beer! It's Lad Boy's Corona with lime.
NEXT: Once, on a date with Projectra
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Once, on a date with Projectra I hit the button to eject RA An Egyptian god A nasty sod So he became Reject RA
NEXT
This one shall be easy to rhyme
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
This one should be easy to rhyme in fact I do it all the time It's lots of fun to make a pun Should I thought up a different line?
NEXT:
A gent from Melbourne
Posted by Vee on :
A gent from Melbourne Was might well born. He had lots of money And great food filled his tummy Thanks to all the sheep his family had shorn.
NEXT: There is a price to be paid
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
There is a price to be paid If you want to get laid By a hooker Who's a looker Else just settle for the maid.
NEXT
Standing atop of old Smoky
Posted by Vee on :
Standing atop of old Smokey I did the "love" Hokey Pokey With a real cutie A Ranger, off duty Who quickly agreed "Okie Dokie!"
NEXT:
In response to your request
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
In response to your request I promise not to be a pest Okie Dokie Do your pokey I'll just observe your love fest.
NEXT
Wee Willie got in some trouble
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Wee Willie got in some trouble when betting on the daily double He shouldn't have bet On the nag "Hasn't Won Yet" His swag lasted like a soap bubble.
NEXT:
Mary liked to skip to the market
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Mary liked to skip to the market To purchase a brand new jar kit She'd drive no car E'en though it was far Becasue it was too hard to park it.
NEXT:
An ancient wizard said to me
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
An ancient wizard said to me In what sounded like poetry Something of note? Perhaps a quote? It was all Greek to me, you see.
NEXT:
It was on a summer day steamy
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
It was on a summer day steamy That I ate an eclair so creamy It ran down my chin All the way to my shin But who cares, since it was so dreamy.
NEXT:
The stevedore gave me the eye
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
The stevedore gave me the eye And I had to ask him why It had been pluck from a guy out of luck Said he "It's a gift I didn't have to buy."
NEXT:
While sitting in the town square
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
While sitting in the town square A barber shaved all my hair What a sight I was a fright For now my dome was all bare.
NEXT:
She likes to burp and scratch her tum
Posted by Vee on :
She likes to burp and scratch her tum She says it makes her happier some "It itches there!" Said without a care Perhaps because she was drinking rum.
NEXT:
It was a dark and dreary night
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
It was a dark and dreary night So I turned on every light To banish the gloom From every room And keep the vampires out of sight.
NEXT
My brand new sock has got a hole
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
My brand new sock has got a hole I think it was caused by a mole I've lost the mate It must be fate But my shoes are the ones with soul.
NEXT:
It happened one Thursday afternoon
[ July 13, 2005, 12:03 PM: Message edited by: Quislet, Esq. ]
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
It happened one Thursday afternoon I was riding high upon a loon I was bored So we soared And ended up upon the moon.
NEXT:
The Moody Blues give me a thrill
[ July 13, 2005, 01:19 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Lad Boy on :
The Moody Blues give me a thrill I have them on 8-track tape, still. For Nights in White Satin While touring Manhattan I think I'm still paying the bill.
NEXT: Baseball's my favorite sport
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Baseball's my favorite sport on the diamond I cavort the roar of the crowd makes me proud when the pitcher's no hit streak I thwart
NEXT:
A naughty boy I have been
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
A naughty boy I have been To my sister I was mean I washed her hair With mother's Nair Now her scalp has quite a sheen.
NEXT
I took my doggie for a walk
Posted by Vee on :
I took my doggie for a walk Sometimes I wish that he could talk My question would be Why every hydrant we see Requires that we sniff, spray, and gawk
NEXT:
I would love to fly into space
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
I would love to fly into space Say goodbye to the human race They always fight Can't see the light No wonder there's a fall from grace.
(Nah, I'm not depressed. I have no idea where that came from. - maybe London ))
NEXT:
If I could shine and be the sun
[ July 14, 2005, 07:05 AM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Vee on :
If I could shine and be the sun I'm sure I would do it on the run Provider of Light Opposed to the Night I'd do my best for everyone.
NEXT:
Taking you out for a night on the town
Posted by dedman on :
Taking you out for a night on the town we'll line em up and drink em down then drunk on the street you tripped on your feet and now you look like a clown
NEXT
it is very dry upon the moon
[ July 14, 2005, 07:32 AM: Message edited by: dedman ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
It is very dry upon the moon It dried up much too soon How can it be That there is a lunar sea? Maybe I should just go to the saloon.
NEXT:
I came upon Mom and Dad
Posted by Vee on :
I came upon Mom And Dad And it caused me to yell out "Egad!" They were busy, you see Enjoying they're own company And now I have nightmares real bad!
NEXT:
The life of a monk is quite stoic
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
The life of a monk is quite stoic Some thing abstinence is heroic They kneel and pray All night and day Egads! it's so Paleozoic.
NEXT
You're a monkey, oh yes you are
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
You're a monkey, oh yes you are and in the jungle you'll go far But on certain nights amid the bright lights at the circus you are the star.
NEXT:
Lying on my back I saw a cloud
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Lying on my back I saw a cloud In the shape of a horse, noble, proud But it gave me a start A fluttering heart 'Cause damn, that horse was well-endowed!
NEXT:
Sipping coffee at midday
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Sipping coffee at midday In the City by the Bay I like it hot With cream, or not It helps to while the time away.
NEXT:
There once was a mouse named "Mighty"
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
There once was a mouse named "Mighty" who wasn't the least bit flighty Stories of fun and glee were made by Ralph Bakshi I watched them day and nightly
NEXT:
There once was a man from Pisa
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
There once was a man from Pisa Who had sex with a girl named Leeza Her mom was mad And so was her dad 'Cause he paid with an expired Visa.
(I'm so proud of myself.)
NEXT:
There was a young artist in trouble
[ July 16, 2005, 05:46 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
There was a young artist in trouble His statues all turned to rubble A friend who was smart Said "Call it modern art" and now his output is more than double.
NEXT:
There was a boy who had a rabbit
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
There was a boy who had a rabbit Which hopped away before he could grab it But soon he had fun With a frightened nun When it hopped up in Sister Kay's habit
NEXT:
On the way to New York City
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
On the way to New York City I saw a rabbit hoppy hippity On I-87 The rabbit to heaven Was dispatched, without serendipity.
NEXT: A flea and a tick on a mutt
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
A flea and a tick on a mutt Fought over who'd get the butt But a pesticide Soon ended their ride And the case was open and shut.
NEXT
Sometimes in winter but not in fall
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
A flea and a tick on a mutt went exploring, but in a forest of hair they could see nowhere Said the tick "Is that a boulder or a nut?"
NEXT:
A cat laid in the sun
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Sometimes in winter but not in fall Samantha will heed the call She thinks it is hip to take a dip Au naturale in the fountain at the mall.
NEXT:
A cat laid in the sun
Posted by Lad Boy on :
A cat laid in the sun Will never get well done If it's cat meat you're luvin', The microwave oven Makes for cuisine that's quite fun.
NEXT: To sleep, perchance to dream
[ July 18, 2005, 11:53 AM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
To sleep, perchance to dream Perchance to hatch a scheme A summer night May fill with fright Under a cold moon beam.
NEXT: The rain turned to hail then snow
Posted by dedman on :
The rain turned to hail then snow The wind picked up and started to blow in 5 minutes it's changed our weather's deranged but thats Canada don't you know?
NEXT I got a dollar in my pocket
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
I got a dollar in my pocket Which I'll use to buy a locket For my honey I'll spend my money Unless I'm broke, then I'll hawk it.
NEXT
There once was a rooster named Stan
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
There once was a rooster named Stan Who believed himself a man But when he used the loo He slipped and was through For someone flushed him down the can
NEXT
Once I kissed a girl named Kate
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Once I kised a girl named Kate It was on our very first date She wasn't shy She let out a sigh No sense in making her wait.
NEXT
I fell in love with a stevedore
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I fell in love with a stevedore Whom all the women did adore But said he I love thee That made me love him all the more
NEXT:
A seamstress named Kate
Posted by Lad Boy on :
A seamstress named Kate Had grown bored with her fate She said, "Don't ya' know My life's just sew-sew. I wish Dedman would ask for a date."
NEXT:
The very best thing about limericks
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
The very best thing about limericks It's an easy way to get your kicks If you like cheap rhyme And wasting time And can run from occasional bricks.
NEXT: A Supreme Court Justice nominee
[ July 19, 2005, 02:43 PM: Message edited by: Fat Cramer ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
A Supreme Court nominee Must have a good pedigree Can't be a cad or have done anything bad And won't be bourgeoisie.
NEXT:
A spritely young thing named Nancy
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
I better grab this one before somebody writes something atrocious about my spritely young namesake.
A spritely young thing named Nancy For loveable rogues had a fancy They robbed and they swindled Her passion they kindled It was, in a way, necromancy
NEXT: A handsome young man from the Caspian
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
A handsome young man from the Caspian Fell in love with pretty young thespian Try as he might He loved her in spite Of the fact that she was a lesbian.
NEXT
A stylish young mime from Durban
Posted by Lad Boy on :
A stylish young mime from Durban Sat silently drinking much bourbon Too drunk to walk and refusing to talk, He rode home in my Suburban.
NEXT:
He exclaimed "E pluribus unum!"
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
He exclaimed "E pluribus Unum" Excitedly to the two of 'em His use of Latin completely flattened the mischievousness in 'em
NEXT:
Some words are hard to rhyme
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
He exclaimed "E pluribus unum!" as he moved ex tenebris in lucem queuing for mass eyeing his lass as the priest said, "Hoc est corpus meum"
NEXT:
The frisky boy went on vacation.
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
Some words are hard to rhyme It happens all the time That I make a post too late to the host All in all it's not too sublime
NOW NEXT:
The frisky boy went on vacation.
[ July 20, 2005, 12:30 PM: Message edited by: Tamper Lad ]
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
The frisky boy went on vacation Where he met a voodoo priest Hatian They danced 'til dawn On the hotel lawn Much to the guests' consternation.
NEXT
I went a sailing upon the sea
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I went a sailing upon the sea Schroedinger's cat likes sailing with me or maybe he doesn't. He was and he wasn't in his box, so where can he be?
NEXT:
Prick your thumb on a rose that is thorny.
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Prick your thumb on a rose that is thorny Offered to you by actress Sigourney But clot up the blood With a pack of mud Lest you make all the vampires horny.
NEXT:
Drag your butt right out of that bed
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Drag your butt right out of that bed Rise and get to work instead Some money to earn Which later you'll burn Be happy, at least you're not dead.
NEXT: Add some more lime to that vodka, my dear
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Add some more lime to that vodka, my dear On this cold blustery night, we need some cheer Come snuggle with me My sweet honey bee Under this blanket there's nothing to fear.
NEXT
Drink a glass to Scotty, my friend
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Drink a glass to Scotty, my friend His would be the first elbow to bend Don't forget the man named James Doohan Sadly, all good things must end.
NEXT:
What is it about life
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
What is it about life That causes so much strife If there's a pill For all that's ill I'd give it to my wife.
(Sorry for the blatantly misogynist tone - I was just going for a facile limerick.)
NEXT
Why do ladies smell so nice
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
Why do ladies smell so nice? Charms wafting as to intice, me to chase around this place. I'm a victim of my vice.
NEXT
On an early morning lovely.
Posted by Lad Boy on :
On an early morning lovely I woke to see above me his smiling face. Then without a trace He left. Now, who will love me.
NEXT: If time can heal all wounds,
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
If time can heal all wounds, It can make the word gazounds A legitimate rhyme Because over time New words will be made, one foreswoonds.
NEXT: I sat and I talked to the porcupine
Posted by Loser Lad on :
I sat and talked to the porcupine, And everything was going fine, 'Til we got in a fight (He was wrong, I was right!) And I wound up with quills in my spine.
NEXT: There once was a girl from Orando.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I sat and I talked to the porcupine of what to drink and where to dine of his fare I wouldn't dare to eat except the berries most devine.
NEXT:
A girl with a bright blue ribbon
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
There once was a girl from Orando Who went to live in Orlando A beauty she's not She works at Epcott Where she impersonates Marlon Brando.
A girl with a bright blue ribbon Had a face like an African gibbon When she went to the city They all said she was pretty But you know they were really fibbin'.
NEXT:
Bury me next to my old Chevy II (two)
Posted by dedman on :
Bury me next to my old Chevy 2 when my final days are through till then i will smoke, perhaps have a toke, and certainly get drunk with you!!!
NEXT: Upon the rolling hills of Avalon
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Upon the rolling hills of Avalon My shining armour I did don And ride upon my noble steed I serve the king and peoples need To usher in a glorious dawn.
NEXT:
Down to Atlantis I did swim
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Down to Atlantis I did swim a trip made on a whim In an underwater glade I spotted a mermaid But she turned out to be a him.
NEXT:
On a hike to Shangri-La
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
On a hike to Shangri-La I sang a ditty, la-te-da, "It's all the rage To never age Always younger than my pa."
NEXT
With John Travolta I did dance
Posted by dedman on :
With John Travolta I did dance for some reason with no pants though i'm not gay i really must say it certainly felt like romance!!!
NEXT
Upon Europa gazing at the stars
[ July 22, 2005, 11:47 AM: Message edited by: dedman ]
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Upon Europa gazing at the stars I thought I'd left my raincoat back on Mars But rather than Go back again I headed for my favourite Jovian bars.
NEXT: They're back again, those jellyfish
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
They're back again, those jellyfish Between my toes - Squish, squish, squish Floating on the waves Among the sea caves But please not in my chafing dish.
NEXT:
Up high in a hot air balloon
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Up high in a hot air balloon With a girl from southern Kathoon From dusk til sunrise Her strength will surprise Unless, of course, there's a full moon.
NEXT:
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Parting is such sweet sorrow Said the maid to dashing Zorro He's off to fight For what's right But I'll be in his arms tomorrow.
NEXT
A good dream is like a bubble
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
A good dream is like a bubble Flying up above the Telescope Hubble But when your dreams pop You'll find that you'll flop If you sleep in class you're in trouble!
Next:
A beautiful expanse of green
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
A beautiful expanse of green Leaves people restless once it's seen That it needs mowing And spot seed-sowing The lawn police on me did lean.
NEXT: On Monday morning I awoke
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
On Monday morning I awoke to a house full of smoke my children did boast to making the most burnt toast to them it was all a big joke.
NEXT:
As I contemplated lunch
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
As I contemplated lunch I thought I'd buy a bunch Of carrots At Harrods And noisily I'd munch
NEXT: He dreamed that he asked Karl Rove
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
He dreamed that he asked Karl Rove Who was floating in the cove "Oh just a spy Who did die When I exposed him in the grove."
NEXT
Upon the wind, I did soar
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Upon the wind, I did soar Above the crowd's maddening roar My cares did cease as I found peace And with Nature I had a rapport
NEXT:
On a crowded noisy street
Posted by Lad Boy on :
On a crowded noisy street I wonder whom I'll meet. George Bush or Karl Rove DC's treasure trove Of reasons to stay in from the heat.
NEXT:
For a double-shot skim cappucino
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
For a double-shot skim cappucino, I ask by barista Gino It makes me sad coffees' all I had I ought to skip work and sip vino.
NEXT:
There was a boy at summer camp
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
There was a boy at summer camp Who I met running down a ramp We were both gay So every day We would play it up as "camp"
NEXT:
A cowgirl from Montana
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
A cowgirl from Montana was holding a banana at her hip... Damn censorship. Can't finish this like I wanna
NEXT"
Off on the journey he goes
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Off on the journey he goes Wearing his mother's hose His legs were fit He sure was "it" Wearing pumps with open toes.
NEXT
I really really hate my job
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I really really hate my job and its not that I'm a snob It just that I rather be footloose and fancy free But then to get money, I'd have to rob.
NEXT: What should be my new career?
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
What should be my new career? Should I go and ask a seer? Back to school? In Kabul? Maybe I should stay right here.
NEXT: Our lyrical lads love limericks
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
Our lyrical lads love limericks They're fun and smart and full of tricks. Every day they come and play and write these silly poems to get their fix.
NEXT: I find these poems terribly bawdy
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
I find these poems terribly bawdy My mom would even say they're naughty But it's all fine Cause she's not on-line Thank the lord, she's drinking her toddy.
NEXT
Sometimes it's hard to find a rhyme
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Sometimes it's hard to find a rhyme And harder still to be sublime But message board verse Is not any worse Than performance art by a mime.
Next: On midsummer's eve I slept in a tree
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
On a midsummer's eve I slept in a tree Because I was foot-loose and fancy free But then on a whim I went out on a limb And tumbled to the ground breaking my knee.
NEXT
Hi-ho hi-ho it's home from work I go
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Hi-ho hi-ho it's home from work I go Another day of 9 to 5 and all I have to show Is money in the bank I hope my bonds don't tank Some day I'll quit, if my nest egg can grow.
NEXT
I took a barge and headed down the Seine
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I took a barge and headed down the Seine With a handsome young sailor from Maine We got off at a club And picked up Pariscub And I swear did nothing profane.
NEXT
The reason I like to wear spandex
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
The reason I like to wear spandex, Which gives me lots of freedom to flex, Is it shows off my butt And I have no gut, But best of all it showcases my pecs.
NEXT
I chanced upon an enchanted toad
[ July 29, 2005, 10:17 AM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I chanced upon an enchanted toad who was hopping accross the grass I'd mowed. I knelt down and kissed him Man how I've missed him. My prince took his show on the road.
NEXT: Today I shaved off my goatee.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Today I shaved off my goatee And fed it to my goat and he Said "So delicious!" But I'm malicious So fed him some Chef Boy-ar-dee.
NEXT: He flew to Brazil for the carnival
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
He flew to Brazil for the carnival But ended up at a religious revival It was a bit of a bungle As he fled into the jungle Where he fought for his survival.
NEXT:
He then tried the Mardi Gras
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
He then tried the Mardi Gras With his Dad and dear old Ma They dressed in thongs And sang rude songs And ran afoul of the law.
NEXT:
Hallowe'en is such a treat
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
Hallowe'en is such a treat. Eating candy sure is neat. Play a mean trick but don't get sick when tossing the rancid meat.
NEXT: I avoided working on Simcoe Day.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
I avoided working on Simcoe Day Tomorrow I must bale hay But this I know That come the snow I'm heading south to Tampa Bay
Next: I sent the steak back to the chef
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I sent the steak back to the chef Who was profoundly deaf When I said "cook" He thought it was "book" And sent me back a roman a clef
(FC, Seems like I got you hooked on these.)
NEXT:
The mistake inspired me to write
[ August 02, 2005, 07:17 AM: Message edited by: Quislet, Esq. ]
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Yes, you fiend! Between this and Sudoku, my productivity has plunged to a new low!
The mistake inspired me to write And keep on going through the night Then with sunrise My tired eyes Read "Dr. Mayavale: He Likes Dwight".
NEXT: Out of the frying pan, into the fire
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Out of the frying pan, into the fire Is what we say when things are dire Before we proceed What we need Is water to make the flames expire.
NEXT:
I listened to the words of the sage
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
I listened to the words of the sage He told me to write on every page All the good things That my life brings And in this way, my blessings gauge.
NEXT:
Aren't we just the cleverest sort
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Aren't we just the cleverest sort Our punning we will not abort But if a thief took our leaf Then we'd see him in court.
NEXT:
A kiss from a maiden I did steal
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
A kiss from a maiden I did steal. This was after the delightful meal. My mind is dirty. She was awful purty. But I'll not admit I copped a feel.
NEXT: There once was a boy from Toronto.
Posted by Abin Quank on :
There once was a boy from Toronto Whose image we could barely hold onto He opened a bar Invited all from near and far and got Vee to dress up like Tonto
NEXT: If wishes were fishes...
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
I wishes were fishes And I were Sid Vicious I'd sing punk With my dog Dunc And ne'er be repititious
NEXT:
Oh where oh where can my Abin Quank be
Posted by Abin Quank on :
Oh where oh where can my Abin Quank be (I think he went out to sea) Cobie gave him a ring (It's attached to his thing) It helps him to annoy thee
NEXT: Heigh-Ho, Heigh-Ho, it's off to work we go
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho, it's off to work we go Although it's beastly hot and wicked winds do blow A dromedary Can not tarry In caravans, you're just another working joe.
NEXT: I'm not that kind of girl, she cried
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I'm not that kind of girl, she cried Neither am I, he lied She then said "OK" And went all the way Now her dad is fit to be tied.
NEXT:
Marriage is a wonderful thing
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Marriage is a wonderful thing Happiness and joy it will bring To Bill and Phil And Lil and Jill Despite ranting of the right wing.
NEXT
I want to be a millionaire
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I want to be a millionaire And rest about on my derriere My hope is the lottery or maybe robbery Of actually being one, I despair.
NEXT:
A little old lady from Pasadena
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
A litte old lady from Pasadena Named her boobs Yolanda and Tina They filled her shirt She was such a flirt Oh, sorry Grans, I didn't mean to demean ya.
NEXT:
When pigs dress up to go out
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
When pigs dress up to go out They put red lipstick on the snout. They carry silk purses, Are chauffered in hearses And dance until dawn, I've no doubt.
NEXT: There once was a fellow who liked onion curry
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
There once was a fellow who liked onion curry Who always ate it in very great hurry But once ate too fast So there was a blast And there was nothing left of him to bury.
Next: A woman who liked to knit sweaters...
[ August 07, 2005, 03:12 PM: Message edited by: Rockhopper Lad ]
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
A woman who liked to knit sweaters For athletes she would sew on letters But "I", "O" and "U" In red or navy blue Were the ones she reserved for debtors.
NEXT
She broke her heel on the runway
[ August 07, 2005, 06:50 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
She broke her heel on the runway He was the ankle doctor she saw on Monday One thing lead to another It met the approval of his mother And they were wed the following Sunday
NEXT:
I don't know how to love him
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
I don't know how to love him He took me to a movie on a whim A Bronson flick He thought me thick And left me with the clams to swim.
NEXT: We sent camping, got chased by a bear
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
We went camping, got chased by a bear When we stumbled too close to her lair She rose up and roared She was huge my lord But was only protecting her cubs in there.
NEXT
I've been in a foreign land too long
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I've been in a foreign land too long And I miss my mother's song but here I stay can't get away since they found my stash and bong.
NEXT:
Mr. Morton was lonely, Mr. Morton was
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Mr. Morton was lonely, Mr. Morton was wondering what to do, when he got a buzz from a friend in the end they talked all night, just because.
NEXT: Dining out in Tokyo is really very pricey
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Dining out in Tokyo is really very pricey Especially if you have the fugu, it can be quite dicey For a slip of chef's knife Can put an end to your life If the poison sac is not removed quite precisely.
NEXT
I ate foie gras in gay Paris (pronounce "Paree")
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I ate foie gras in gay Paree I stayed in a villa on Capri There was a hassle In a German castle And that was my European spree
NEXT:
On a moonlit night did I dance
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
On a moonlit night did I dance With Senor Widebottom, in his oversized pants We did the waltz But slipped on some schmaltz Then on roulette took a chance.
NEXT: A dog walked into a bar on Naltor
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
A dog walked into a bar on Naltor And said to the waitress I like your halter I knew you'd say that Now go chase a cat Said the dream lass, and who can fault her?
NEXT:
I took a chance and spun the wheel
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
I took a chance and spun the wheel Of life, - and groaned. I made a deal Like Dr. Faust And now I joust With devils, though my fate they seal.
NEXT: Inside a jacket from a jumble sale
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Inside a jacket from a jumble sale I found a curious copper nail I took out my hammer And gave it the slammer But hit my thumb and boy did I wail.
P.S. Fat Cramer, your last limerick was most excellent.
NEXT:
Come with me to the Caspian Sea
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Come with me to the Caspian Sea or to the coast of Normandy With a kiss Said "yes", the miss and together did the lovers flee.
NEXT: Anita's gonna get her kicks tonight
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Anita's gonna get her kicks tonight Wearin' that leather mini oh-so-tight The dudes will drool Each one a fool But with Anita - none will see dawn's light.
NEXT
She's stepping out to paint the town red
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
I think we should have a contest now. Each limmerist (is there such a word) should choose whichever limmerick he or she considers to be his or her best and we should let LW choose the best. We could do it as a poll. Good idea or bad idea ?
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I don't know. The idea of going through 17 pages to select my best is a little daunting.
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
I know, it will be a hard choice for you, Quis. But you can do. I just know you can! Posted by Fat Cramer on :
I don't like voting for "best of" anything because it's difficult to choose and the criteria are fuzzy. Funniest, most challenging, most lyrical.
It's often surprising, however, when you ask someone to choose their best work in whatever medium, what they actually choose. You're often left scratching the old noggin.
This response should have been in limerick form, but I'm lazy.
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Okay, I'm overruled.
Back to the business at hand. I think we were at ---
NEXT:
She's stepping out to paint the town red
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
She's stepping out to paint the town red And so she looks under her bed For brushes and paint But red there just ain't And so paints it purple instead.
Next: He took his shoes out for a shine
[ August 13, 2005, 09:30 AM: Message edited by: Rockhopper Lad ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
He took his shoes out for a shine I wish he had also taken mine I am keen on being clean I even wash my filthy swine.
NEXT:
Come out, come out, wherever you are
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Come out, come out, whereever you are We're all having a drink at SHAKES Bar Gay or straight Just don't be late 'Cause when you're there you are a star.
NEXT:
Cheeta, my chimp, go find Boy
[ August 15, 2005, 09:38 AM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Cheeta, my chimp, go find Boy Take him and his new toy to Iraq's front lines to hunt for land mines, for we've run out of men to deploy.
NEXT: Where no man has gone before
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Where no man has gone before there is no need to mop the floor There is no mud or spilt blood And, alas, no haberdashery store
NEXT:
I went to a theater on Broadway
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
I went to a theater on Broadway To see a Tennessee Williams play Stella, Stella Shouted the fella, But he was no more butch than Fay Wray.
NEXT
"I vant to drink your blood," he whined
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
"I vant to drink your blood," he whined. "It should be tested," she opined. "I'll take my chance, It's not romance, Ve haven't time for double blind."
NEXT: The dog that barked in the stormy night
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
The dog that barked in the stormy night, did so in a fit of ghastly fright. Fido heard the sound of another hound howling at the flash of 'lectric light.
NEXT:
Of this truth I am quite certain.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Of this truth I am quite certain I like the films by Tim Burton He has the knack Let me get a snack before the rise of the curtain
(Aside: FC, I really liked your last one)
NEXT:
From your first cigarette
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
From your first cigarette You began to die, Odette The false dream Of nicotine Shall be your downfall yet.
NEXT
I like it when you purse your lips
(I agree with Quis, FC. Your limericks are really literary and witty. And Quis, you're no slouch yourself.)
[ August 16, 2005, 01:26 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I like it when you purse your lips I quiver when you wiggle your hips My knees get weak My voice a squeak I really have to come to grips.
NEXT:
A boy like that will kill your brother
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
A boy like that will kill your brother And break the heart of your mother Who is that boy? Oh don't be coy, You know it's you, not another.
NEXT
Writing this fills my heart with sorrow
[ August 17, 2005, 12:28 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Writing this fills my heart with sorrow More troubles I don't need to borrow I just make due and always feel blue But I still hope to be here tomorrow
NEXT:
One fine day in old Calcutta
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
One fine day in old Calcutta I went shopping with my mutta Nothing free She bought ghee Which I thought resembled butta.
(Quislet, what in heaven's name did you have in mind to rhyme with "Calcutta"?)
NEXT: We rented a sailboat on Nantucket
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
quote:Originally posted by Fat Cramer: (Quislet, what in heaven's name did you have in mind to rhyme with "Calcutta"?)
Must be my Boston accent.
Calcutta cutter flutter shudder shutter sputter another
Posted by Lad Boy on :
We rented a sailboat on Nantucket, wrote a book of limericks, and stuck it to a girl who lived there who, once on a dare, wore on her head, not a hat, but a bucket.
Nantucket...hitting below the belt, FC.
NEXT:
"It's Titan," he said, "not Uranus."
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
"It's Titan,' he said, "not Uranus" Oh my how he can fuss and fuss Be he teacher or preacher He refuses to even discuss
NEXT
He searched for the right word
Posted by Abin Quank on :
He searched for the right word she heard the wrong word she answered curtly he declined pertly she flipped him a bird
NEXT:
Can I do any worse?
[ August 18, 2005, 10:23 PM: Message edited by: Abin Quank ]
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Can I do any worse? I spend my time on silly verse But what the hell I might as well Enjoy it, or be in the hearse.
Now to celebrate those Boston accents....
NEXT: A doctor of Physics in Harvard Yard
Posted by Lad Boy on :
A doctor of Physics in Harvard Yard Gave his caaah keys to the paahking lot gaahd When he retuuhned fawh his Foohd He shrieked, "Oh my Gaawd! I can't find my Visa ohw MastuhCaahd!"
NEXT: If I were back home in Mobile. (mo-BEEL')
Posted by Probability Pete on :
If I were back home in Mobile. I pray I was global, around the world i'd rome everywhere would be home until i found that precious opal
NEXT At the country club
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
At the country club People will snub Unless you're rich In which Case you'll be the hub.
NEXT:
Help me with my buttons, mother dear
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Help me with my buttons, mother dear I just can't reach those in back, I fear I don't want a scandal On my date with Randal Even if he is a wee bit queer.
NEXT:
A frisky young orca came calling
Posted by Lad Boy on :
A frisky young orca came calling The smell of his breath was apalling The stench of raw crill and other sea-kill Made Red Lobster stock start falling.
NEXT: If I had been born on Trom
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
If I had been born on Trom I could have turned water into Dom Perignon And chiffon To velvet scented with lemonbalm.
NEXT: Watching the river roll by
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Watching the river roll by I let out a dreamy sigh It's a bummer that during summer The days really seem to fly.
NEXT:
I'm going to the opera and ballet
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I'm going to the opera and ballet But that doesn't mean that I'm gay. Though when the fat lady sings I'll gather my things And run off with a dancer named Jay.
NEXT: While shopping for tools at Home Depot.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
While shopping for tools at Home Depot My car was subject to the men of repo I couldn't pay my bills because I was ill I guess I shouldn't have bought the Peugot
NEXT:
Help me find a rhyme
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Help me find a rhyme For the price of one thin dime Else just for fun I'll fondle a nun And end up doing time.
NEXT:
I was shocked by Sister Mary Louise
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I was shocked by Sister Mary Louise as she soared on the scary trapeze Her five o'clock shadow made her look like F. Castro or those French mimes with hairy goatees.
NEXT: He said, "To thine own self be true."
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
He said, "To thine own self be true." As he made his societal debut But I concluded he's self deluded To think he looks good in ecru.
NEXT:
I've longed to be a lumberjack
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
I've longed to be a lumberjack And cut the old oak tree out back But I stay my hand And spare the land From my arboreal attack.
NEXT:
He likes to wear a silver thong
(If we've done this one before, let me know and I'll post a different one.)
[ August 24, 2005, 10:29 AM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Lad Boy on :
He likes to wear a silver thong And stay out drinking all night long I'd take him home let my hands roam except of course, that would be wrong.
NEXT:
I think we lost his silver thong.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I think we lost his silver thong Because it attracted a throng So indulge his bulge As it comes on strong
NEXT:
I'm going on a hot air balloon
[ August 25, 2005, 08:27 AM: Message edited by: Quislet, Esq. ]
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
I'm going on a hot air ballon Yup, it's true, I'm going real soon I'll ride so high In the clear blue sky So I can show the world my rosy moon.
NEXT:
I took the train to Istanbul
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I took the train to Istanbul and caught a bus there to Kabul Rode my bike into Tehran Caught a plane, flew to Milan Now, I'm home, broke, tired -- a fool.
NEXT: Come sit with me; I have a secret.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
Come sit with me; I have a secret. I heard it from a snowy egret. He said "D'you know, That that old crow Has left his wife for some young eaglet?"
Next up: Help me please. My tummy hurts.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Help me please. My tummy hurts. I should not have dined at Burt's In the mood For greasy food Now I have my just desserts.
Next: I like to sleep at the Symphony
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I'd like to sleep at the symphony It drives all waking desire from me Through Haydn, I'd snore Schubert's a bore And Vivaldi make for dull company.
NEXT:
My best friend at Legion World
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
My best friend at Legion World sang and danced and twirled but at the party drank too hardy and what was eaten now was hurled
NEXT:
Now I am back to work
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Now I am back to work For that awful midget jerk He makes me toil In motor oil And then calls it a perk.
NEXT:
I like to shave that part of me
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I like to shave that part of me that very few get to see Alack I mean my back What did you think? tee hee
NEXT:
Polly walked to the grocery store
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Polly walked to the grocery store Cooking supper was such a bore So she went And money spent At the take-out deli right next door.
NEXT: When I went fishing in a Zodiac
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
When I went fishing in a Zodiac, soon I had read the latest almanac I got Pices cut to slices by the trolling motor coming back.
NEXT:
Ne'er had been seen such large crowds,
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
When I went fishing in a Zodiac I met a bear from Kodiak He was mean And I was green so to the lodge, I went back.
NEXT:
A young lady from The South
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
A young lady from the south Saw a man as she came out. At her ball, he was tall as the tales from his mouth.
Next:
Ne'er had been seen such large crowds,
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Ne'er had been seen such large crowds to see an exhibition of shrouds The showing was poor There would have been more Except for the gathering storm clouds.
NEXT:
A young lady fron The South
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Oh my.
either someone else can make a new limerick from my line or Tamper Lad, you can write a new opening line
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
Causality loop, thread collapsing
Here I'll reboot the thread.
Next:
There once was a dandy from Virgina.
[ August 31, 2005, 11:23 AM: Message edited by: Tamper Lad ]
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
There once was a dandy from Virginia Who married a girl named Lavinia She had money So was his honey But he loved many others. What a sin, ja?
NEXT (hee hee!): Causality loop, thread collapsing
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Causality loop, thread collapsing Our sense of timing lapsing Don't know who will go after you Deja vu! are we relapsing?
NEXT:
A virile young man from Daxam
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
A virile young man from Daxam Lived every day by this maxim: "Protect the weak, The mild and the meek, And defend 'em when someone attacks 'em."
Next: I crossed a rabbit with a squirrel
Posted by Lad Boy on :
"I crossed a rabbit with a squirrel." said my wife's cousin Earl. "And isn't it quite funny to see the Easter bunny Hide his nuts in the basket of a girl."
NEXT:
I once knew a great Jazz singer.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I once knew a great Jazz singer A voice like Ella's - a dead ringer Wow o wow She's the cat's meow I suppose you want this line to be a zinger.
NEXT:
Nothing is worse than writer's block
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Nothing is worse than writer's block To get started you need a shock So once an hour Take a cold shower That's sure to nudge your bio clock.
NEXT:
With pen in hand, I bequeath thee
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
With pen in hand, I bequeath thee The Persian carpet beneath thee A table and chairs The lamp up the stairs And the suit in which I did meet thee.
Next: A Highlander wearing a kilt
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
A highlander wearing a kilt guided me with his claymore's hilt as he screamed Cha geill, with pen he would draw a lovely thistle 'fore fall's wilt.
(cha geill is pronounced KAY YAW, and the thistle is the national flower of Scotland)
NEXT There once was a President from Texas.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
There once was a President from Texas Who rode o'er the range in his Lexus While resting at Crawdad He thought it was too bad Ms. Sheehan might know what a hex is.
NEXT: A penguin who slept on an ice floe
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
A penguin who slept on an ice floe Woke to see an Antarctic ice show With skating Adelies Gentoos on their bellies And a rockhopper juggling kite's roe.
Next: I was walking along with my beagle
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I was walking along with my beagle Looking and feeling most regal then a robber with a smirk stole my pants and shirt And now I am walking around illegal.
NEXT:
What should one do when feeling blue?
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
What should one do when feeling blue And one's life is a tasteless stew? Quislet's advice, Is add some spice, By finding someone you can sue.
NEXT:
When sunning naked at the shore
[ September 06, 2005, 10:48 AM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
When sunning naked at the shore, I fell asleep and I did snore. in the sun... I baked, till my skin... it flaked. At work once more, I'm now quite sore.
NEXT: School began this September day
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
School began this September day And I'm feeling far from gay I'll not be free 'Till I get my degree, Sometime towards the end of May.
NEXT:
I think I'll climb the old flag pole
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I think I'll climb the old flag pole And fulfill my assumed role Around town I am known as a clown little do they know my serious soul.
NEXT:
The mate was a mighty sailin' man
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
The mate was a mighty sailin' man For three years that show ran Then rerun for ever. We'll miss you, Bob Denver! Everyone on Legion World is a fan!
Next: I spread butter on a hot scone
Posted by legionadventureman on :
I spread butter on a hot scone, the butter is all warm and runny If but one drop spills to the floor, To fall over will not be so funny
NEXT: The boy stood on the burning deck
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
The boy stood on the burning deck and waved as others passed the wreck he was very brave yet hoped to be saved but all they did was rubber neck.
NEXT:
Wedding bells did start to ring
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Just a reminder, limericks are 5 lines long and have the following rhyme scheme: a,a,b,b,a
Lines 1,2 and 5 have approximately the same number of syllables, as do lines 3 and 4. Lines 3 and 4 have fewer syllables than lines 1, 2, and 5.
Wedding bells did start to ring And the choir began to sing A serenade In heaven made To join the lady and the king.
NEXT:
Alas my ship is going down
[ September 07, 2005, 08:52 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Alas my ship is going down Along with my life of renown I breathe the sea It seems to me Okay, as my anxieties drown.
NEXT: A cockroach has a splendid life
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
A cockroach has a splendid life It scurries about where food is rife But not for very long Soon comes its swan song Because Raid kills it as surely as a knife
Next: Three cheers for the cotton candy man
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Three cheers for the cotton candy man when he got here, the fun began bringing joy to girl & boy And holes to my teeth & dental plan.
NEXT:
I'm surprized the thread got this far
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
I'm surprised the thread got this far Of course, we like a good har-har And limericks Are not for hicks And we are all well above par.
NEXT: A meteor was coming close to Earth
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
A meteor was coming close to Earth Of solutions, there was a dearth We are doomed It can be assumed I will be sad for what it's worth.
NEXT:
If I had a genie in a bottle
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
If I had a genie in a bottle I'd use my wishes slowly, not full throttle: Good health for my beagle, And the flight of an eagle For a certain waterbird best known to waddle.
Next: As I wait for my tea water to boil...
Posted by legionadventureman on :
As i wait for my tea water to boil I notice quite an amazing sight The milk had churned The biscuits had burned And now day has turned into night
NEXT: Fuzzy-Wuzzy was a bear
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Fuzzy-Wuzzy was a bear Had a product called Nair He became a twinkie And just a little kinky He used some even down there.
NEXT:
I took a trip to Spain
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
I took a trip to Spain To see the famous rain That's said by all To often fall Upon that central plain.
NEXT:
I hope we all can get it right
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
I hope we all can get it right Or there may be a great big fight The hot new name Is the Blame Game Life was simpler back with Dwight.
NEXT: I wish I had a flying carpet
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I wish I had a flying carpet So cooler than a Lear jet In the sky Up so high Yet airsick I might get.
NEXT:
There once was an old maid
Posted by Lad Boy on :
There once was an old maid In China; she sold jade Along the Yangtze making communists angry. Now she works for Kitson and Waid.
Next:
Laissez Les Bon Temps Roulez
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
Laissez Les Bon Temps Roulez C'etait un soiree pour danser. Mes liasons, c'est les raisons Pours tous les peres enrager.
Next: There once was a poet from France.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
There once was a poet from France Who never got a second glance Then he bought a Mercedes and now all the ladies make with the wooing and romance.
NEXT:
I am stuck with writer's block
Posted by minesurfer on :
I am stuck with writer's block. It's better than a writer's sock. If your groin is itchin. It's no use to be bitchin, You might be stuck with writer's jock.
Next:
My dear ol' Pappy is proud...
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
My dear ol' Pappy is proud and says it out loud He went to jail and didn't fail to come out of it unbowed.
NEXT
I went to the fair on Castro Street
Posted by legionadventureman on :
I went to the fair on Castro Street An incident happened that i cannot repeat Of two Scot gentlemen dancing With kilts flying and prancing Their underwear lying under their feet
Next: I lost something of mine
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
I lost something of mine. Mike Grell's art was devine on the comic book that my girlfriend took and soaked in cheap red wine
NEXT: Thankfully that didn't happen.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Thankfully that didn't happen It is only a might have been To be fair in a nightmare It would occur over & over again.
NEXT:
Happen is a hard word to rhyme
Posted by minesurfer on :
"Happen" is a hard word to rhyme. Thankfully, "Rhyme" is not that kind. Although "Garage" is tougher, And "Orange" still rougher. Quislet still seams to be rhyming just fine.
Next:
I'm glad that limerick worked out.
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I'm glad that limerick worked out. Though it's dumb to write poetry about A subject so inane when there's little to gain Except adding one to my post count.
NEXT:
A limerick writer's favorite haiku
Posted by minesurfer on :
A limerick writer's favorite haiku, Has seventeen syllables, it's true. Lines of five seven five. Full of Nantuckian Jive, And dirtier than the floor at Apu's.
Next:
It's the Itchy and Scratchy Show...
[ September 15, 2005, 01:59 PM: Message edited by: minesurfer ]
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
It's the Itchy and Scratchy Show: Not the one Bart and Lisa know. This one, on the contrary, Is a documen-tary On the bite of the mosquito.
Next: He stood there bouncing his pecs...
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
He stood there bouncing his pecs She rolled her eyes and thought "What's next?" The first date She wasn't irate Just thought that she should drink more Becks.
NEXT: If kids would eat their broccoli
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
If kids would eat their broccoli They wouldn't get so colicky It is know and has been shown That kids think it is very icky.
NEXT:
Three guests will visit my house
Posted by legionadventureman on :
Three guests will visit my house One of whom will bring a mouse To liven up the proceedings Against my abject heedings Coz it might frighten the spouse
NEXT: What to do on a weekend
Posted by minesurfer on :
What to do on a weekend? What about doing some drinkin? Drinks of barley and hopps, Hard grains, or just Schnapps. Until my nose is a red blinkin beacon.
NEXT:
I can't think of a topic...
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
I can't think of a topic, But to be philisophic, To end a line With a word hard to rhyme Is a tiny bit misanthropic.
Next: Legion World is lots of fun...
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
Legion World is lots of fun. Even when I've got to run. Interesting chats, Nellies with hats, And new slang learned by the ton.
NEXT: I rowed the river in a boat.
Posted by legionadventureman on :
I rowed the river in a boat Which i was told would probably float After a while it was a hell of a bore Rowing with just one oar Who knew what i was wearing under my coat?
NEXT: Saturday morning cartoons
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Saturday morning cartoons I haven't seen in many moons Some bad, some good A part of childhood Now I watch soaps most afternoons.
NEXT:
A young lad with a clever mind
Posted by Lad Boy on :
A young lad with a clever mind one who's firm, yet gentle and kind would find in a minute my bed with him in it and that soon he'd be in quite a bind.
NEXT:
The best thing I did today
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
The best thing I did today Was go and sit down by the bay And watch the birds Release their turds On trophy wives out to play.
NEXT:
She left him for another man
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
She left him for another man At least that was the plan She picked a guy who was bi and to her ex he ran.
NEXT:
The gay young couple at the beach
Posted by Lad Boy on :
The gay young couple at the beach were barely within my reach. As they rolled in the sand I offered a hand though much more was accepted by each.
NEXT:
While wearing my lycra shorts,
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
While wearing my lycra shorts, I like to play outdoor sports But when I'm indoors I take off my drawers And play games of other sorts.
NEXT:
I fixed my hair with a fine bristle brush
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
While wearing my lycra shorts, I was going to play some sports But something did grow and started to show As recorded in the arrest reports.
NEXT:
At Aunt Millie's tea party
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I fixed my hair with a fine bristle brush and dressed in a velvet suit - very plush I was in a spot my pants I forgot Because I was in such a very big rush.
NEXT: At Aunt Millie's tea party
Posted by minesurfer on :
At Aunt Millie's tea party, The biscuits were delicious, yet hearty. I heard someone utter, "They're better with butter!" These words came from James Moriarty.
Next:
The game is a foot.
edit: The more I thought about the line, the more I had to shorten it. It just wasn't starting out rhythm-wise to be a limerick.
[ September 20, 2005, 04:07 PM: Message edited by: minesurfer ]
Posted by minesurfer on :
The game is a foot, Is how it was put. When the chase had began, Holmes' pipe in his hand, Full of tobacco and soot.
Next:
Rachel read about The Vicker.
(edit) Sorry about answering my own limerick, but the more I thought about trying to rhyme "foot" two times and make sense, the harder it got, and when I finally got something that fit, I couldn't pass it up.
[ September 21, 2005, 11:56 AM: Message edited by: minesurfer ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Rachel read about The Vicker After drinking lots of liquor She's a punk when drunk And got into a fight with her vicar.
NEXT:
On a sunny day in June
Posted by minesurfer on :
On a sunny day in June. A witch was cleaning her room. Her time she did bide, then wound up outside, flying around on her broom.
Next:
The Cubs stink again.
Posted by minesurfer on :
Sorry about this, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity to be a self abusing Cub fan.
The Cubs stink again. But you knew that would happen my friend. Each Spring they start fresh. Then they lose more than less. And it's "Wait 'til next year" again.
Next,
My wife has the pertiest face.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
My wife has the prettiest face Full of wisdom and grace If I ponder to let my eye wander She will put me in my place.
NEXT:
A Cubs fan vents his rage
Posted by minesurfer on :
A Cubs fan vents his rage. Nothing new in this day and age. But year after year, In the Bleachers with beer, To win they require a Mage.
Next:
Not another email from my sister
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Not another email from my sister Though since she's gone, I've really missed her She's in Tibet With a monk she met When she left her hubby who never kissed her.
NEXT:
The life of a dog is really sweet
[ September 22, 2005, 10:32 AM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Everyday Girl on :
Ohmygod, I can do this...
The life of a dog is really sweet being loved and cuddled is neat and trotting round the track blue ribbon on my back means I get a better cut of meat!
NEXT: My kid sister is such a brat
Posted by Lad Boy on :
My kid sister is such a brat She sat on my favorite hat So when wearing my tweeds I can't dress like EDEs Where's my baseball bat?!?
NEXT: Rub-a-dub-dub, three men in a tub
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Rub-a-dub-dub, three men in a tub One asked "My back will you scrub?" Jerry Falwell fainted said they were tainted I asked "What's all the hubbub?"
NEXT:
One day I went to the zoo
Posted by minesurfer on :
One day I went to the zoo. I had nothing better to do. First I fed the monkeys, then petted the donkeys, and painted the Gorilla's bum blue.
next:
The luckiest man alive...
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
The luckiest man alive Got home well after five Unconcerned The dinner burned Would his wife's wrath he survive?
NEXT:
I am very bored at work
Posted by Lad Boy on :
"I am very bored at work." I said with a suggestive smirk. Given the chance I'll take off my pants and try not to act like a jerk.
NEXT:
Is there in truth no beauty?
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Is there in truth no beauty? In truth it sounds a bit fruity Give me something macho Like beer and nachos And not something so snooty
NEXT:
I took an unexpected turn
[ September 22, 2005, 02:08 PM: Message edited by: Quislet, Esq. ]
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
I took an unexpected turn And crashed into a potted fern. I was covered with sores, For I'm allergic to spores. And thus a lesson I did learn.
Next: I opened my black umbrella
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
I opened my black umbrella And started to read Vampirella The rain came down And I noticed a frown On the man next to me. Silly fella.
NEXT: There once was a dog who ate chickens
Posted by minesurfer on :
There once was a dog who ate chickens, If you wait the plot it will thicken. If you're not sure, that the chicken is pure. At least it's his balls he's not lickin.
NEXT:
There's nothing on broadcast TV.
Posted by Lad Boy on :
There's nothing on broadcast TV. So let's all write bad poetry Limericks for you For me, a haiku Scrap that, let's all play sexually.
NEXT:
He showed off his hairy chest
[ September 23, 2005, 07:18 AM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
There's nothing on broadcast TV At least nothing I want to see Plots that are dumb Leave me feeling glum I'd much rather write poetry.
NEXT:
To think I saw it on Mulberry Street
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
He showed off his hairy chest, Much better than all the rest. To nuzzle those pecs Is better than sex, And so there I made my nest.
Next: A woman with a husky voice
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
A woman with a husky voice is cause to rejoice Unless you see That she's a he Who goes by the name of Joyce
NEXT:
To think I saw it on Mulberry Street
Posted by minesurfer on :
To think I saw it on Mulberry Street, A parade of remarkable feat. People came from afar, By truck and by car To watch people walk in the heat.
Next (with apologies to The Beatles):
There lived a boy named Rocky Raccoon.
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
There lived a boy named Rocky Raccoon Whose dad was an otter and mom a baboon He was all mixed up That cute little pup Unil he fell in love with a three footed loon.
NEXT:
I went to the black and white ball
Posted by minesurfer on :
I went to the black and white ball. I wasn’t planning on being appalled. But to my chagrin, Naw, It couldn’t have been… Michael Jackson was all that I saw.
Next:
I'm leaving on an airplane.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I'm leaving on an airplane It will take too long to explain I'm not afraid or underpaid Just two words - Candy cane
NEXT:
A nice young man in the park
Posted by minesurfer on :
A nice young man in the park, Suddenly started to bark. Then he stripped off his clothes, and waggled his "hose". The cops wrote him up as a "Lark".
Next:
Whenever the muse strikes me
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Whenever the muse strikes me I write some wretched poetry She drinks too much She's out of touch A second-rate Calliope.
NEXT: A cold wind chased me down the street
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
A cold wind chased me down the street But I tripped over my big feet While on the ground I looked around For a grate spewing steam heat.
NEXT:
On a dare I kissed a frog
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
On a dare I kissed a frog And he turned into a dog. And quick as that, I was a cat He chased me. The rest is a fog.
Next: I took a journey on a train
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
I took a journey on a train And let me make this very plain I travelled in coach With a talking roach Whose chatter drove me quite insane.
NEXT:
I took a journey on a ship
Posted by legionadventureman on :
I took a journey on a ship Looking cool and talking flip Thought i had made an impression bordering on obsession til i saw my open zip
NEXT: G-string bikinis are fun to wear
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
G-string bikinis are fun to wear But not if you have lots of hair On your bum Or on your tum You need to wax or use some Nair.
NEXT
Bodacious Lola cleaned her gun
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Bodacious Lola cleaned her gun While she watched "Run, Lola, Run" She liked the show But didn't know If she should snuff her honey-bun.
NEXT: Back when life was copacetic
Posted by legionadventureman on :
Back when life was copacetic and many people went heretic Nobody knew What murders would do Or how to make those charges stick
NEXT: Beauty contests should be banned
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
Beauty contests should be banned, There's nothing dumber in the land Than to hear a bleached blonde Who twirls a baton And talks like her head's full of sand.
Next: Someone left the cake out in the rain
Posted by minesurfer on :
Someone left the cake out in the rain. I swear some people have no shame. The fate of the cake Still keeps me awake. My life will never be the same.
Next:
Its another Limerick
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Its another Limerick and may make you sick. To rhyme all the time is quite a nifty trick
NEXT:
On a trip to the White House
Posted by legionadventureman on :
Its another Limerick Enough to drive me batty Can't think of a thing To make the verse ring Without making it sound catty
NEXT: These are a few of my favourite things
Posted by Nova Girl on :
On a trip to the White House. I chance upon a spotted mouse. She said to me Cant you see Dubya is away hunting grouse.
These are a few of my favourite things Cocktails, boys, cars, diamond rings It takes much money to buy those honey So I'm dumping you for that guy who sings.
NEXT: While dancing across the parquet floor
[ September 26, 2005, 06:51 AM: Message edited by: Nova Girl ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
While dancing across the parquet floor I saw a cute boy whom I adore What he's got makes me hot Oh how I hope to score.
NEXT:
Where shall I get my inspiration?
[ September 26, 2005, 06:55 AM: Message edited by: Quislet, Esq. ]
Posted by minesurfer on :
Where shall I get my inspiration? From a Fat Cramer or Semi incantation? For they seem at the head, of this lyrical thread. They lead this Inspired Invasion.
Next:
My favorite time of the year...
[ September 26, 2005, 12:05 PM: Message edited by: minesurfer ]
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
My favorite time of the year Is when you return to me my dear, From your trips abroad To teach about God That's when I hold you o' so near.
(Who'd a thunk I'd come up with a missionary limmerick)?)
NEXT:
Into the azul sea I dove
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Into the azul sea I dove and over verdant plains I rove to doff my clothes and feel the wind blows One with nature I did strove
NEXT:
Three guests will be at my home
Posted by minesurfer on :
Three guests will be at my home. I really shouldn't leave them alone. But I have a date, With Promiscuous Kate, That I'd rather not have to postpone.
Next (with apologies to Santana):
I got a Black Magic Woman
[ September 26, 2005, 10:34 AM: Message edited by: minesurfer ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I got a Black Magic Woman and she does all that she can Cooking a dish or landing a fish She is inferior to no man.
NEXT:
An old maid rode on the bus
Posted by Vee on :
An old maid rode the bus Attired with girdle and truss Below her dress And I must confess It made her fidget and fuss.
NEXT:
I wish I could fly like an eagle
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
An old maid rode on the bus And boy did she ever fuss When she heard That nasty word From a boy learning to cuss.
NEXT:
My granny wore a push-up bra
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
You beat me to it, Vee.
I wish I could fly like an eagle, But sadly it's really illegal I stay on the ground Because I 'm a hound Not Rocky the flying Beagle.
NEXT:
My granny wore a push-up bra
[ September 27, 2005, 10:06 AM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
My granny wore a push-up bra She bought at a beauty spa. It gave her a lift, So she put on a shift And walked out and shouted ta-da!
Next: She cut her a big wedge of stilton
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
She cut her a big wedge of Stilton Which she bought at the Paris Hilton But it made her breath Smell like death And all her friends, they were a wiltin'.
NEXT:
The President asked who cut the cheese
Posted by Lad Boy on :
The President asked who cut the cheese Karl Rove declared, "it was the Chinese." So armed forces departed because Cheney farted after eating some cabbage and peas.
NEXT:
His chest was all covered with hair.
[ September 27, 2005, 11:16 AM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
His chest was all covered with hair His face was handsome and fair The front of his pants Contained no implants. Excuse me, but I am there.
NEXT: I hope that satisfied Lad Boy
Posted by minesurfer on :
I hope that satisfied Lad Boy. If it didn't, he'd be such a sad boy. But if he behaves, For thirteen more days, They'll spank him and call him a "Bad Boy".
Next:
A birthday card sent from my Dad...
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
A birthday card sent from my Dad was something that I really had not forseen for Dad has been gone for 15 years. Egad!
NEXT: A dolphin shot a poison dart-gun
Posted by legionadventureman on :
A dolphin shot a poison-dart gun Thinking it loads of fun Acting on orders From opposing coastal borders The war had just begun
NEXT: I can't get you out of my head
Posted by minesurfer on :
"I can't get you out of my head." I believe that's what Kylie said. But if she knew me, She'd see right through me. And think of some other guy instead.
Next:
This fellow was a dead ringer...
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I can't get you out of my head I should be doing work instead I'm off at three so come and see me And I won't let you out of my bed.
NEXT:
I got a job as a bank guard
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
This fellow was a dead ringer for a very famous singer But he was brash and poor white trash So he ended up on Jerry Springer
NEXT: I got a job as a bank guard
Posted by minesurfer on :
I got a job as a bank guard. I'd be better served as a bard. All day I would nurse Pentameters and verse And deliver lines like Picard.
Next:
There once was a lady named Ginger...
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
There once was a lady named Ginger who had a tall fence around her Trying to sneak a naughty peak The Skipper caused his back to injure.
NEXT:
I don't think that was so good
Posted by minesurfer on :
I don't think that was so good. But you did the best that you could. Ginger is hard to rhyme And kinda sublime But when we married I stood.
Aside: Sorry about that Quis, but my wife wanted to see what one of this thread's limerick-ists would do with her name. I promise not to do that again. I figured we'd get injure in there... or maybe syringer... or singer (as in someone who was more singed). But I'm glad I didn't have to rhyme it.
Next:
There once was a gent who was dandy...
Posted by Lad Boy on :
"I don't think that was so good. Now I think that you should drop down and thank me Then beg, "Lad, please spank me." And I will when you put on this hood.
Posted by Lad Boy on :
There once was a gent who was dandy and with the ladies quite handy The song of his life cuts like a knife if you're a yankee like my cousin andy.
NEXT:
I'm really quite easy to please.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I'm really quite easy to please and I like being thought a tease enough fooling time for some "schooling" Master says "Drop to your knees!"
NEXT:
A young lad in Greenwich Village
Posted by minesurfer on :
A young lad in Greenwich Village Went asea in order to pillage. He created a rancor and ran into a tanker That led to some major spillage.
Next:
A young lady bowed to the king...
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
A young lady bowed to the king And on bended knee kissed his ring Please do not lay siege To our home my liege For my father died this morning.
NEXT:
The warrior rode into the dell
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
The warrior rode into the dell and spied a young maiden at the well He had to think as she gave him a drink "I have fallen under her spell."
NEXT:
I can't wait for the convention
Posted by minesurfer on :
I can't wait for the convention. I wouldn't expect much contention. There'll be lots of laughing, Guffaws and some gaffing, With no chance of receiving detention.
Next:
Have fun and down some for me...
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Have fun and down some for me Brewskies, that is, not tea But don't get so drunk You fall down ker-plunk And end up in bed with Red Bee.
NEXT:
She was wearing hot pants and heels
Posted by legionadventureman on :
She was wearing hot pants and heels And paying for it with some meals This sassy lady is so plucky At times she gets lucky I wish i knew how it feels
NEXT: Friendships are so nice to have
Posted by minesurfer on :
Friendships are so nice to have. In many ways an emotional salve. For when problems are shared With others that care The burdens seem to be halved.
Aside: I'm going to have to watch Steel Magnolias or Four Weddings and a Funeral now. Who knew I had such sap in me? ugh!
Next (and lets try to get dirty people, ok ):
I went out one night with a stripper...
[ September 29, 2005, 06:48 PM: Message edited by: minesurfer ]
Posted by legionadventureman on :
I went out one night with a stripper who went by the name Jack Tripper He was so hairy And a Muscle Mary I couldnt wait to go gripper
NEXT: Subways make a poor diet
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
Subways make a poor diet I don't know who would try it. But I won't deny, To see someone try To eat a train would be a riot.
Next: Words mean different things.
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Words mean different things To lovers and one-time flings. "Forever" means "now," but that isn't how we meant it when we bought these rings.
NEXT:
I can't wait to dance on your grave.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I can't wait to dance on your grave I'll ever hold a new wave rave we'll hold a party because you are a smarty and together we'll do the wave.
Here at the convention we caused a sensation Pov got arrested Quis got bested On Legion World there is a celebration.
NEXT:
What did you do while Quis was away?
[ September 30, 2005, 01:06 PM: Message edited by: Quislet, Esq. ]
Posted by legionadventureman on :
What did you do while Quis was away? Twas a shock to hear that one day Legion World cried And some of us "died" In your honour we all turned gay
NEXT: Wet Speedo contests should never be ignored
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Wet Speedo contests should never be ignored But Quislet actually scored Cobalt Kid thrusted and Abin got busted But Pov and STU were still bored
Next: I dreamed of blue toxic waste
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
I dreamed of blue toxic waste. It had a bittersweet taste. It stuck to my shoe, Like high-quality glue, So I used it as wallpaper paste.
Next: A quiet Saturday at home.
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
A quiet Saturday night at home Is often spent with my friend the gnome He lives neath a tree Not too far from me Just south of the Houston Astro Dome.
NEXT:
I took my doggies to the park
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
As a matter of fact, Semi, I pass the Astrodome every day on my way to work!
I took my doggies to the park To run and jump and play and bark. We checked every tree, Were chased by a bee, And stayed there till well after dark.
Next! Oh dear! I'm out of clean socks!
Posted by legionadventureman on :
Oh dear, i'm out of clean socks I wish i could pull my hair out by the locks Im in trouble most foul I wanted to go to a bar right now Coz i use socks to fill out my jocks*
*EDITORS NOTE: Jocks are the generic Aussie term for underwear that are briefer than "briefs"
NEXT: The creative well has gone dry
[ October 01, 2005, 10:43 PM: Message edited by: legionadventureman ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
The creative well has gone dry Alas! I pout and moan and cry Try something new like a Legion haiku Or maybe a new trough to ply.
NEXT:
Most people have a dirty mind
Posted by minesurfer on :
Most people have a dirty mind. I'm thankful mine is of that kind. It makes limericks fuller 'cause clean ones are duller. And reading the clean ones is always a grind.
Next:
There once was a guy named Brutus...
[ October 18, 2005, 01:35 PM: Message edited by: minesurfer ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
There once was a guy named Brutus A nomad who was rootless I said "Don't roam, Come to my home. You have talents to suit us."
NEXT:
Thank heavens for Legion World
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Thank heavens for Legion World Else where would I have my hair curled Oh, it's not a salon? How could I be wrong? Unless my mind has unfurled.
(Okay, it was lame, I'll admit)
NEXT
Be quiet for I have work to do
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Be quiet for I have work to do Your loud breathing's a distraction, too. When I hear you sigh I think,"Oh my, my!" Work'll wait; so I come visit you.
NEXT:
There one was a welder named Lance.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Be quiet for I have work to do Don't bother me! Shoo! Shoo! I must be quick with a limerick, Because my boss is tapping her shoe!
NEXT:
My boss comes in very late
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
There once was a welder named Lance After work he would skip and prance I think he may be very gay I met him at the Tea Dance.
NEXT:
My boss comes in very late
Posted by minesurfer on :
My boss comes in very late. Her name is Promiscuous Kate. She's known for her morals, Dictations and orals, And some things I shouldn't relate.
Next:
This here is a "family" board...
[ October 03, 2005, 12:40 PM: Message edited by: minesurfer ]
Posted by Lad Boy on :
This here is a "family" board... Uncle Billy Bob said when he scored another hot date with his cousin Kate in the back seat of my Mom's old Ford.
NEXT:
You're disgusting, wretched, and sick.
Posted by minesurfer on :
You're disgusting, wretched, and sick. Came out of Shady's mouth quick. But no one could harm her Thanks to her crotch armor, And the darkness around her was thick.
Next:
A Legion recruit named Canus...
[ October 03, 2005, 12:33 PM: Message edited by: minesurfer ]
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
A Legion recruit named Canus Had a power that was quite heinous When that hound was around We all hit the ground For he shot lightning bolts from his anus.
NEXT
I can't believe I just said that
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I can't believe I just said that or that people came here and read that This thread has gone bad but frankly I'm glad though I rather be with you in bed, Matt.
NEXT:
There's nothing impure in my mind.
Posted by minesurfer on :
There's nothing impure in my mind. But then "impure" should be redefined. For your view is askew, From all that I knew. But then somethings "impure" are just fine.
Next:
There once was a mason from Denver.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
There once was a mason from Denver Who embarked on an ambitious endeavor He started inspired But soon got tired To inquiries, he responds "Whatever!"
NEXT:
Dude wanted to surf to Japan
Posted by minesurfer on :
Dude wanted to surf to Japan. If he did, he would be, "Da Man". But said the Dude, "Hey, What about food?" And he wiped out on his two cans.
Next:
A man really needs a hobby...
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
A man really needs a hobby Said my young nephew Bobby So I took pains To play with my trains In the Baxter Building lobby.
NEXT:
I like to build model ships
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I like to build model ships Pay close attention to the sailors' hips they're all set in motion out on the ocean when the surface rises and dips.
NEXT:
Come sit down beside me; let's talk.
[ October 04, 2005, 11:59 AM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Come sit down beside me; let's talk. Ask any question. I won't balk I'll let slip a little gossip And as the boys pass by, we'll gawk.
NEXT:
A young man preparing for a date
Posted by minesurfer on :
A young man preparing for a date, He hopes that he won't have to wait. Who is the date with? Any nice young Miss? He's hoping it's Promiscuous Kate.
Next:
"I want romance!", she said to her man...
Posted by Lad Boy on :
"I want romance!", she said to her man... "I can do that, yes I can." Quislet walked by I gave him a try And we walked off together hand in hand.
NEXT:
He stood there alone in Wal-Mart.
[ October 04, 2005, 12:29 PM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
"I want romance!", she said to her man And I want to get it as fast as I can My lips are ready So put it there, Freddy But wait, let's get in the back of your van.
NEXT:
The windows were wet and covered with steam
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
He stood there alone in Wal-Mart Looking at goodies in his cart There were hand guns And stockings with runs Gifts for the gal who stole his heart.
NEXT:
The windows were wet and covered with steam
[ October 04, 2005, 12:38 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
The windows were wet and covered with steam Things appeared vague like in a dream The inuendo Reach a crescendo And double entendres were the theme
NEXT:
Is Lad Boy trying to get me in bed?
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Is Lad Boy trying to get me in bed? Or thinking of something else instead? Maybe he's itchin' to cook in the kitchen. What's between all his lines that I've read?
NEXT:
If I looked as good as you do
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
If I looked as good as you do I'd go out and roll in some poo To keep all the girls From messing my curls And pinching my rosy cheeks too.
NEXT:
I locked my self out of my house
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I locked myself out of the house. I'd like to get in before my spouse gets home from France, cause I'm wearing no pants, and I don't want her to start to grouse.
NEXT:
My what big...eyes...you have
Posted by minesurfer on :
I locked myself out of my house. I'm just something short of a louse. But when she's not there, to defend herself fair. I blame everything on my spouse.
Next:
I hope my wife never reads that...
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I hope my wife never reads that... For if she does I am in deep fat Fried til I'm crispy Hair no longer wispy And set out on the front door mat.
NEXT:
My what big...eyes...you have
[ October 04, 2005, 02:06 PM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
Posted by minesurfer on :
Not "have" again... you know how hard that word was to rhyme the first time?
Oh well... here goes...
My what big... eyes... you have. I said from the front seat of my Rav. It's a five speed stick That I named "Maverick" That sometimes I shorten to Mav.
Next:
There once was a bar named Shakes...
Posted by Lad Boy on :
There once was a bar named Shakes... with a bartender there that makes a drink I must have with a sunblock lip salve during fierce solar flare outbreaks.
NEXT:
My how big your...eyes...are!
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
There once was a bar named Shakes Where we would play ducks and drakes Drinks were free Whoopee!!!! A lovely place for goodness sakes!
NEXT:
Alex got a gift in the mail
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Alex got a gift in the mail Something I found on sale It was rated triple X and useful for sex when traveling by air or by rail.
NEXT:
My how big your...eyes...are!
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
My how big your...eyes...are! Would you like to ride in my car? I know a place to get to home base And we don't have to travel too far.
NEXT:
Alex got a gift in the mail
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Hehehehehe
Ok Lad Boy, you can think of a new NEXT line
Posted by Lad Boy on :
NEXT:
The front seat of a Coupe de Ville..
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
The front seat of a Coupe de Ville is a place to feel a thrill Who knew a zipper to undo required such accomplished skill
NEXT:
Walking in the woods lost in thought
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Walking in the woods lost in thought, Holding the basket I'd brought, I met a wolf, big and bad And gave him all that I had Using tricks my grandma once taught.
NEXT:
Is this what you had in mind?
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Walking in the woods lost in thought About the comics that I bought From bargain bin There was no sin I got no art that Liefeld wrought.
NEXT: All I want is ginger beer
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
All I want is ginger beer and to have you near a warm feeling I find appealing Two straws will let us share
NEXT:
I took a trip to the store
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I took a trip to the store because we needed some more personal protection for your ...ummm...election the one that I so adore.
NEXT
Is it hot in here; or is it just me?
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Is it hot in here or is it just me? An experiment so we can see Don't scoff Clothes off Oh my! Now it feels now quite breezey.
NEXT:
After being pulled over by a cop
Posted by minesurfer on :
I took a trip to the store. I heard Kate would be there for sure. I've heard all about her, And it's a no-doubter... That within an hour or two that I'll score.
edit... looks like it took me awhile to compose a good one... lol. both Lad and Quis beat me to it.
keep going with Quislet's line:
After being pulled over by a cop
[ October 06, 2005, 08:38 AM: Message edited by: minesurfer ]
Posted by minesurfer on :
After being pulled over by a cop, I heard a thunderous plop. And there on his belly, Was a big chunk of jelly, For he had just left the local Donut Shop.
Next:
There once was a lad name Linus...
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
There once was a lad name Linus Who had trouble with his sinus His nose he blew with many a tissue Til he moved to Arizona for the dryness.
NEXT:
Maria went to a masquerade ball
Posted by minesurfer on :
Aside:
Bravo on "dryness"... that's a good one.
Alright, back to the game...
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
quote:Originally posted by minesurfer: Aside:
Bravo on "dryness"... that's a good one.
Alright, back to the game...
I have to admit that I go to this site Rhyme Zone for help figuring out rhyming words
Posted by minesurfer on :
Lol... been there a few times myself. Saved it under my "favorites" just for this thread.
Still, you had to make it work... and that's what I applaud.
Posted by minesurfer on :
Maria went to a masquerade ball. Costume so hot she thought she might fall. To aid in her plight, To restore electrolytes, She wound up at the Gatorade Ball.
Next...
He walked down the street with a smile...
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
He walked down the street with a smile He hadn't been there in a while the fun had begun Then his boyfriend walked down the aisle.
NEXT:
Louis traveled far out west
[ October 06, 2005, 11:48 AM: Message edited by: Quislet, Esq. ]
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Louis traveled far out west Wearing leather chaps and a vest "I'm really not gay." He said in L.A. Cliffhanger endings are sometimes the best.
NEXT:
Ignorance of the law's no excuse
[ October 06, 2005, 12:29 PM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Louis traveled far out west Dressed up in his Sunday best He was right But would not fight Lest his Sunday hair get messed.
NEXT
He was shocked by what he had seen
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
quote:Originally posted by Lad Boy: Louis traveled far out west Wearing leather chaps and a vest "I'm really not gay." He said in L.A. Cliffhanger endings are sometimes the best.
As he bared his tatooed chest? or I won't kiss, but I'll do the rest.
[ October 06, 2005, 12:32 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Lad Boy on :
He was shocked by what he had seen The outfit was quite obscene leather chaps and a vest an exposed hairy chest so he bought it and made quite a scene
NEXT: Ignorance of the law's no excuse
[ October 06, 2005, 12:34 PM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Ignorance of the law's no excuse For fondling and kissing grandma's goose Just keep it clean Said Officer Green As he wandered off with his moose.
NEXT:
He was shocked by what he had seen
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Lad Boy, I feel like we've met in the street and can't get around one another. You choose the next
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Ignorance of the law is no excuse when hunting deer or moose but in the park after dark it is an effective ruse.
He was shocked by what he had seen Jerry Falwell declared it obscene Adam was disgraced having no taste He was the world's ugliest drag queen.
NEXT:
He likes two for one deals
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I'll use one of your clever cliffhanger resolutions as the beginning.
As he bared his tattooed chest, she noticed that he was quite blessed with tons of brown fur but he didn't see her cause he liked STF the best.
NEXT: I won't kiss, but I'll do the rest.
[ October 06, 2005, 12:46 PM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
quote:Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow: Lad Boy, I feel like we've met in the street and can't get around one another. You choose the next
This happened to me and Lad Boy yesterday.
But I have solved today's dilemma. (or so I thought) It is interesting to see different people's take on the same line. Where they are similar and where they are different.
[ October 06, 2005, 12:44 PM: Message edited by: Quislet, Esq. ]
Posted by Lad Boy on :
quote:Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow: Lad Boy, I feel like we've met in the street and can't get around one another. You choose the next
I hope that if we met in the street we wouldn't be trying to get around each other.
Posted by Lad Boy on :
He likes two for one deals On boyfriends or drinks or hot meals When we go out shopping Or better, bar-hopping, He barters, buys and steals.
NEXT: I won't kiss, but I'll do the rest.
Posted by minesurfer on :
I won't kiss, but I'll do the rest. Said Kate as you might have guessed. For Kate is always bound to be making the rounds, And by the looks of her body, She's blessed.
Next:
Kate looked up at me and said, "Next!"
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Kate looked up at me and said, "Next!" I looked back at her quite perplexed You're not Lad Boy's type But there's no need to gripe For Minesurfer's here, undersexed.
NEXT: This thread can't get out of the gutter.
Posted by minesurfer on :
This thread can't get out of the gutter. Sometimes it makes me just shudder. "I'm ready to mate" Said Promiscuous Kate, "Roll me up and spread me with butter."
Next:
I've got to go, but I'll be back...
[ October 15, 2005, 12:48 PM: Message edited by: minesurfer ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
This thread can't get out of the gutter Lad Boy was heard to mutter Who do we kid If it did We would all give a big shudder.
NEXT:
Once more with feeling
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
This thread can't get out of the gutter Even when greased up with butter Try as I might To set this thing right I fail at the task and just sputter.
(Okay, that didn't make a lot of sense)
NEXT
The sun fell in love with the moon,
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I've got to go, but I'll be back Said the soldier boy heading to Iraq I'll just say that I'm gay And I like surprize attacks
NEXT:
Once more with feeling
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Once more with feeling Let's set this thread reeling With smart quips Right from our lips That soar right through the ceiling.
NEXT
The sun fell in love with the moon
Posted by Lad Boy on :
"I've got to go but I'll be back." I said to my good friend, Jack. "Once more with feeling?" He asked while still kneeling "Oh, I'll stay, let's go hit the sack."
NEXT: There's nothing tawdry 'bout Steven.
Posted by minesurfer on :
Think we need a little traffic control here... lol.
Posted by Lad Boy on :
The sun fell in love with the moon I fell in love on Kathoon He was quite mighty lasted all nighty but the sun rose a little too soon.
NEXT: There's nothing tawdry 'bout Steven.
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Think we need a little traffic control here For something's a little bit queer It takes so little time to make a good rhyme Instead of posting, I'll go have a beer.
NEXT: There's nothing tawdry 'bout Steven.
Posted by minesurfer on :
"There's nothing tawdry 'bout Steven." They said about him as he's leavin. But Kate followed him out, And now he's a lout. And now Steven's wife is a grieven.
Next:
Everybody likes Benevolent Brad...
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Everybody likes Benevolent Brad... He's quite the fabulous lad Did you know he's hung a bell that gets rung each time he makes someone else glad?
NEXT: I'd like to live in Des Moines.
[ October 06, 2005, 01:42 PM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
I'd like to live in Des Moines If I had enough coin To go out each night And treat my self right To rare filet of beef loin.
NEXT
I search and search up in the sky
[ October 06, 2005, 01:57 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by minesurfer on :
I'd like to live in Des Moines. It would help me to save lots of coins. In time I'd buy a big Mansion, with no need for expansion, Where Kate could make time with my loins.
Next:
My dog is a mangy mongrel
Posted by minesurfer on :
I search and search up in the sky, Sometimes I never know why. It's always a riddle To a chicken named Little, For the sky never seems to stay high.
Next...
My dog is a mangy mongrel...
[ October 06, 2005, 02:03 PM: Message edited by: minesurfer ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
My dog is a mangy mongrel, but if you say so, we'll quarrel He's my friend to the very end Now how do I end this doggerel?
NEXT:
Adam found a lucky piece
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Adam found a lucky piece While he was spending time in Greece It was rare A lock of hair From the King of England's neice.
NEXT
While bathing in the ocean blue
Posted by Lad Boy on :
While bathing in the ocean blue, I started thinking of my old bud Drew. Thank God for high tide Else I'd have to hide That I'd gotten quite excited too.
I'm probably way too late.
Posted by minesurfer on :
I'm probably way too late. For Drew just ran off with Kate. And the King of England's niece Also got a piece, Did I mention that Kate wasn't straight?
Next:
I just ran out of WD-40...
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I'm probably way too late for my blind date He was late too so I knew That he was my perfect mate.
NEXT:
It is time for me to leave for the night
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
It is time for me to leave for the night So I harness my body to my kite, And into the ether I do soar To grace this board never more Until I return at dawning's fair light.
NEXT
Off to thy well earned rest, fair prince
[ October 06, 2005, 02:59 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I'm too tired to fix this limerick crash. So I will leave it to others
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
I just ran out of WD-40 What shall I do, oh Lordy, Lordy My engine won't turn Or else it will burn I better call my mechanic Gordy.
NEXT
Off to thy well earned rest, fair prince
[ October 06, 2005, 03:03 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Off to thy well earned rest, fair prince Time for shower, shampoo, and hair rinse Tomorrow'll be time for more wit, more rhyme, more unbridled romps and humorous squints.
NEXT:
I'm meeting a friend for lunch today.
Posted by legionadventureman on :
I'm meeting a friend for lunch today Under the shade from the sun's ray I think he he will choose To wear ladies shoes So i know for certain he's gay
NEXT: Someone please give me a hug
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Someone please give me a hug and a kiss and roll on the rug a grope and a feel "My God! Is that real?!?" You're just like my ex-boyfried, Doug.
NEXT:
Alone in my office today.
[ October 07, 2005, 06:24 AM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
Posted by legionadventureman on :
Alone in my office today And I remembered the key i say So no one will catch me A private moment you see With the window washer headed my way
NEXT: Open the door and see all the people
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Open the door and see all the people Dead on the floor, jumped from the steeple the red, brown and black -- from Katrina's attack -- and Bush and his men in knee-deep bull.
NEXT:
Where to go when the bars have all closed...
[ October 07, 2005, 06:52 AM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
Posted by minesurfer on :
And the next line is.... ?
Lad Boy... oh, Lad Boy...
Hey, you edited. Cheating.
[ October 07, 2005, 06:53 AM: Message edited by: minesurfer ]
Posted by Lad Boy on :
An Aside:
Lad boy oh Lad Boy Don't be a cad, Boy I'm tired of your cheating I'd give you a beating except you'd like that, you bad boy.
See Two posts up for next starting line.
Posted by legionadventureman on :
Where to go when the bars have all closed Has been a dilemma to some, one supposed The choices are many Where the drinks cost more than a penny After the last drinker has dozed
NEXT: Staying awake for the next round
Posted by minesurfer on :
Where to go when all the bars have closed... Lets hit the strip club to see what's exposed. And then if you're willin, And up for some drillin, Its over to Kate's house, she's never opposed.
Next:
I read a good story, just the other day...
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Staying awake for the next round Is hard to do when there's no sound Eyelids fall the pillow calls So to bed and sleep I am bound
NEXT:
Ralph went to the county fair
Posted by legionadventureman on :
Ralph went to the county fair And got lucky while he was there He tossed a ring In order to have a fling He was so drunk he didnt care
NEXT: Keep an eye out
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I read a good story, just the other day... It was set in colonial Bombay the text was full of sex I really like books that way
Keep an eye out when walking about You'll spot someone who's hot then a woody you'll sprout
NEXT:
Do you know what I just heard?
Posted by minesurfer on :
Do you know what I just heard? Thats what he asked when he conferred. He couldn't beleve it, But he had to concede it, Kate spreads more than her word.
Next:
Does anyone else hate there cubicle?
[ October 15, 2005, 12:50 PM: Message edited by: minesurfer ]
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Does anyone else hate their cubicle? My office has plenty of room if you do-bicle? Your choice of start lines Causes headaches and whines In most any office milieu-bicle.
NEXT:
I just learned that Kate is a man.
[ October 07, 2005, 08:05 AM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I just learned that Kate is a man Shocking minesurfer, her biggest fan The illusion caused confusion Especially when she went to the can
NEXT:
My first time at a nudist camp
Posted by Lad Boy on :
My first time at a nudist camp The weather, thank God, was quite damp I'd turned white as a ghost when told of the weenie roast and started my plans to revamp.
NEXT: Stop, I'm not that kind of guy.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Stop, I am not that kind of guy I am modest and quite shy Why do you think that I'm into kink OK I might give it a try.
NEXT:
Trying to keep it simple and light
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Trying to keep it simple and light from now until it's night when all hell'll break loose I'll be drunk as a goose passed out on the street, what a sight.
NEXT If I could be 16 feet tall,
Posted by minesurfer on :
If I could be 16 feet tall Just think about the size of my balls. I'd wear oversized chaps, without any flaps, And I'd roam "commando" at the mall.
Next:
There once was a man in a hammock...
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
If I could be 16 feet tall I'd lord it over all Let's hope I could cope and not have a mind that is small
NEXT:
Should I play it coy?
Posted by Lad Boy on :
There once was a man in a hammock... Who was by no means a eunoch I jumped on to swing like on an outdoor sling And began to wreak naughty havoc.
NEXT: Should I play it coy?
[ October 07, 2005, 08:40 AM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
There once was a man in a hammock who dreamed he was in Bancock It was nice with plenty of rice Until seagulls started to flock
NEXT :
Should I play it coy?
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Should I play it coy? So as not to annoy Probably not since I've got a reputation to keep as lad Boy!
NEXT: Running naked in the rain,
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Running naked in the rain is one way to train for a track meet in the heat Plus my shorts have a stain.
NEXT:
I am getting a bit flustered
Posted by minesurfer on :
"I am getting a bit flustered." Kate said as all the gents clustered. "Someone's spreading lies About what's 'tween my thighs..." The gents smiled and stared at her bustard.
Next:
I just had barbecue for lunch...
[ October 07, 2005, 12:07 PM: Message edited by: minesurfer ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I just had barbeque for lunch a couple of spare ribs I did munch Greasy fingers will linger upon my glass of punch
NEXT:
John went on a date with Mary
Posted by Lad Boy on :
John went on a date with Mary And then things got kinda scary She touched neither him nor another Yet still became a mother Shortly after she and John did marry.
NEXT: Lad Boy was struck by lightning
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Lad Boy was struck by lightning And the result was very frightening He was in the mood with a guy he had wooed And the bolt cause a pleasure heightening
NEXT:
Mark was all alone one night
Posted by Lad Boy on :
(Thanks, Quis.)
Mark was all alone one night, he thought, as he turned of the light. When the room was all dark A guy from the park joined him for unexpected delight.
NEXT: Steve has a brand new car.
Posted by minesurfer on :
Steve has a brand new car. Which he'll drive all the way to a bar. He'll stop outside Shakes. And won't have to use breaks. When he gets there, they'll say, "There you are."
Next:
There once was a cowboy named Bop.
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Aside:
quote:Originally posted by minesurfer:
If I could be 16 feet tall Just think about the size of my balls. I'd wear oversized chaps, without any flaps, And I'd roam "commando" at the mall.
Minsurfer, this one had me laughing out loud.
Aside over. Carry on...
[ October 07, 2005, 02:00 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Lad Boy on :
There once was a cowboy named Bop. who lost a leg and had to hop out on the range. It was a little bit strange but less so than the hooker named "Stop."
NEXT: When Kate went to work for the press,
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
When Kate went to work for the press She really created a mess Besides her sighs And out and out lies She worked in a blue topless dress.
NEXT:
Who the hell is this gal Kate?
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Who the hell is this gal Kate? Some chick minesurfer would date I couldn't care less 'bout her state of undress 'less she had a cute brother named Nate.
NEXT: The once was a fireman named Nate.
[ October 07, 2005, 02:11 PM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
Posted by minesurfer on :
Who the hell is this gal Kate? To get to know her is a three hour wait. For though she's promiscuous, And a little androgynuous, The line extends well past the gate.
Next:
A hooker named "Stop" got it started...
Aside... thanks Semi. I was chuckling at that one too. As for Kate... I made her up a few pages back and have managed to work her in quite a few more limericks. She gives me something to focus on. Feel free to use her yourself... it seems everybody else does... and that's part of her appeal.
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
There once was a fireman named Nate Who was in love with Minsurfer's date The 'surfer got mad And punched out that lad Who ne'er again made eyes at Kate.
NEXT
He got caught with the senator's page
Posted by minesurfer on :
There once was a fireman named Nate. The brother of Promiscuous Kate. Although he was needy, And Kate was so seedy, Nate's at least one man that Kate wouldn't date.
Next:
A hooker named "Stop" got it started...
Posted by minesurfer on :
LOL... Somebody get Quis in here to fix this...
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
A hooker named "Stop" got it started But during the act, she farted All were aghast Even those at half mast And in the blink of an eye departed.
NEXT
He got caught with the senator's page
Posted by Lad Boy on :
A hooker named "Stop" got it started... but found that her John soon departed When her name her would cry She'd just sit and sigh And assume he was very good-hearted.
NEXT: He got caught with the senator's page
[ October 07, 2005, 02:20 PM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
He got caught with the senator's page Such doings were all the rage It was his duty to bag such a beauty Luckily the page was of age.
NEXT:
What will you do this weekend?
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
He got caught with the senator's page Who, last summer, worked for a mage Aphrodisiac spell The page worked so well Soon that page would become all the rage.
NEXT: When Kate discovered women's lib
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
(Oops!)
What will you do this weekend? Do not act like a bookend. Go eat out Twist and shout Find a broken heart to mend.
NEXT: When Kate discovered women's lib
Posted by minesurfer on :
When Kate discovered women's lib I'm going to tell you what she did. She dressed up in a tuxedo, Decided "Lib" meant Libido. And went back to doing what her mom had forbid.
Next:
It's good to see FC stopping by...
Posted by STU on :
It's good to see FC stopping by On her way to enjoy a cold chai But she's saddened to see That they've run out of tea So she'll have to settle for pie
Next: Last weekend in Boston I found...
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Last weekend in Boston I found A cute and cuddly little booze hound He was drunk As a skunk But awfully fun to have around.
NEXT
You don't have to put on the red light
Posted by STU on :
You don't have to put on the red light Or sneak out in the middle of the night Just ask me real nice And if you double the price I might even throw in a bite
Next: There once was a Canadian fellow
Posted by legionadventureman on :
You don't have to put on the red light The colour is just too bright For going outdoors Or mopping some floors Youd end up just getting into a fight
NEXT: Please stop the confusion
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
There once was a Canadian fellow Who was feeling semi mellow He said to STU Was it you Who shattered my peace with a bellow?
NEXT
Simply taking umbrage, STU walked out
Posted by STU on :
Simply taking umbrage, STU walked out On his face plastered a pout "You knew all the time That 'confusion' is hard to rhyme Of that I've surely no doubt!"
Next: Please stop the confusion...
Posted by legionadventureman on :
Please stop the confusion Its all an illusion How limericks flow Where they should go Just follow the conclusion!
Simply taking umbrage, STU walked out His face in a pout He wanted to post But all he could boast What limericks are all about
NEXT: Double posting is the pits!
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Please stop the confusion Or I'll get a contusion If I hit my head On the side of the bed Trying to figure out the profusion
(Didn't make sense, but I'm tired.)
NEXT
My what great big boobs you have
[ October 07, 2005, 08:49 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by legionadventureman on :
My what great big boobs you have Which makes it difficult to rhyme If I had the time And the money To make my pecs just as sublime
NEXT: Please read the next thread
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Please read the next thread Before I am dead You'd better hurry For I worry My wife caught Lash and me in bed.
NEXT: I want to sell my Passat.
[ October 08, 2005, 03:35 PM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
Posted by minesurfer on :
I want to sell my Passat. I'll take it but I don't have alot... to offer in trade 'cause I'm so underpaid... Would you take two beers and shot?
Next: (don't read the date into the limerick... it's for informational purposes only)
Today (10-9-05) is my six year anniversary...
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Today is my six year anniversary Since I robbed the pot club nursery I got caught With the pot And my trial, alas, was quite cursory.
NEXT
He liked the time he spent in jail
(Happy anniversary Minesurfer)
Posted by legionadventureman on :
He like the time he spent in jail He didnt have to worry about the mail For the bills had arrived And due in by five He'll be dead as a doornail
NEXT: Waxing is so painful
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Waxing is so painful Waning is so baneful Ask the moon It will soon Be full, bringing rainfall.
NEXT: Martha went to the pumpkin race
Posted by legionadventureman on :
Martha went to the pumpkin race And seemed to vanish without a trace For days she wasn't there She showed up without a care With a big smile on her face
NEXT: Is it a crime to be hairy?
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
"Is it a crime to be hairy?" Said the little lamb to Mary. "I could have sworn I had you shorn," Said Mary to her lamb Larry.
NEXT:
I gazed upon a Graecian urn
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
I gazed upon a Graecian urn Like Keats, the brow began to burn Beauty, truth Eternal youth The ravishes of death they spurn.
NEXT: I sat at the foot of Winged Victory
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I sat at the foot of Winged Victory As I wrote my speech - valedictory I tried with all my might to get the words just right and not make them contradictory
NEXT:
While wearing a policeman costume
Posted by legionadventureman on :
While wearing a policeman costume I spotted a felon one might assume Wearing a long yellow coat Standing near a boat Flashing his fruit of the lume
NEXT: Rhyming is such a chore
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
Rhyming is such a chore I don't want to rhyme any more. I'll just write blank verse It all will be terse And reading it will be a bore.
Next: Cream of tomato soup's tasty
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Cream of tomato soup's tasty But let's not be too hasty There are others made by mothers who don't want to look too pasty
NEXT:
That limerick was pretty poor
Posted by minesurfer on :
That limerick was pretty poor. I'd agree... that's for sure. Why the limerick stinks Is not what you thinks ( ) It's the Tomato soup that I abhor.
Next:
Seven in one blow was the phrase...
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Seven in one blow was the phrase... Said in his giant killer days By cobbler Jack Just a hack Who found that lying often pays.
NEXT:
Won't you come into my lair
Posted by minesurfer on :
"Won't you come into my lair?" Kate said with unusual flair. He entered quite timid, But soon became livid, When he found that he wasn't the only one there.
Next:
My wife is a fan of Bugs Bunny...
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
My wife is a fan of Bugs Bunny She finds him amazingly funny But Taz get's my jazz Bugs is a punk - just kidding honey!
NEXT:
A man rode to town on a horse
Posted by minesurfer on :
A man rode to town on a horse. He was going to Kate's house of course. You could tell by the gait, That the man was irate, And all the other suitors were clearly the source.
Next:
There once was a genie in a bottle...
Posted by legionadventureman on :
There once was a genie in a bottle Who went by the name Aristotle He was handsome and strong And could do no wrong Except he took to the bottle
NEXT: Super heroes are people too
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Super heroes are people, too. Except for the ones at the zoo. Krypto's a dog Why not SuperHog and a horse and a cat in the crew?
NEXT: Where should I put post 1000?
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Where should I put post 1000? It should be somewhere quite grand With such high stakes I'll make it Shakes And I may have to hire a band
NEXT:
My boss wonders why my work is so slow
Posted by Lad Boy on :
My boss wonders why my work is so slow With luck she will never know When I'm not online here I'm out drinking beer Or having fun with Derek and/or Beau.
NEXT: It's fun to play in the rain
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
It's fun to play in the rain "WHEEEE!!!!" we all exclaim But be hep and watch your step or you'll get an ankle sprain.
NEXT:
Did you just see what I just saw?
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Did you just see what I just saw? An expert in federal pension law. 'Tis to be expected in a group so ecclectic? erisa good time here to be had by all.
NEXT: Beau has passed out on the floor.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
Did you just see what I just saw? A little man from Arkansas. With a funny smile That stretched out a mile, And a very distinctive guffaw.
Next: I love to smell cookies baking.
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I love to smell cookies baking. and when they are there for the taking I'll take one or two for me and for you to eat after hard-core love-making.
NEXT: Beau has passed out on the floor.
Posted by minesurfer on :
Beau has passed out on the floor There's a tradition that we just can't ignore. We'll make his skin darker With a Black Magic Marker, And he'll swear not to drink anymore.
Next:
I wonder what Kate's doing today...
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I wonder what Kate's doing today... She seems to be going astray At the karaoke bar she sang, only songs by k.d. lang. Oh My God! Can my Katie be gay?
NEXT: Come upstairs and check out my etchings.
Posted by minesurfer on :
"Come upstairs and check out my etchings." Kate says to her date while she's stretching. Off go his alarms, For he's wise to her charms. But Kate's face is really quite fetching.
Next...
There once was a man named Culligan...
Posted by Lad Boy on :
There once was a man named Culligan... He dated some girls, but then again On a baseball game date With who else but Kate, He picked up hot guys fom the bullpen.
NEXT: There's a crisis here I am told.
[ October 11, 2005, 12:22 PM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
There's a crisis here I am told About it being too cold for shedding clothes and being exposed Still fortune favors the bold
NEXT:
Last night I was surprized in my bed
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Last night I was surprized in my bed For the pillow under my head was not polyester but Eryk Davis Ester what fun arose ere he fled.
NEXT: It's time for Limerick thread chaos.
Posted by minesurfer on :
It's time for limerick thread chaos. Lad Boy must be trying to play us. So we all come around, 'Cause we're lyrically bound To make sure that Kate wants to lay us.
Take that... ha ha....
Next...
Up the beanstalk Jack went...
[ October 15, 2005, 12:54 PM: Message edited by: minesurfer ]
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Nice one.
Up the beanstalk Jack went With brave and noble intent Before the stalk wilted I saw that Jack was kilted and all undergaments forwent.
NEXT: A skinny lad like Dwight Yoakum
Posted by minesurfer on :
A skinny lad like Dwight Yoakum Sang so bad that crowd just might choke him. But when they booed. Dwight only cooed. For the tension continued to stoke him.
Next...
I ordered a Ham/Swiss on Rye...
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I ordered a Ham/Swiss on Rye... from a waitress named Kate standing by what she offered instead turned minsurfer's head but left me alone hungry high and dry.
NEXT: What could Quislet be doing?
Posted by minesurfer on :
What could Quislet be doing? It probably doesn't include moo-ing. He's probably at Shakes Drinking 'Earthquakes' Looking for someone to be suing.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
(with no next line )
Seeing Lad Boy exposed standing with no clothes I'm excited and delighted from seeing what arose
NEXT:
Wondering if I flirt too much
Posted by minesurfer on :
Sorry about that... got distracted as my buddy just IM'd me to see if I wanted to go to a Penn State football game.
Continue with Quis' line...
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Wondering if I flirt too much Is a waste of time and such a bore. I'd really rather play with you in lather with guys -- German, Swiss, and Dutch.
NEXT: Should I go to the Penn State game?
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Should I go to the Penn State game? Sometimes they play so lame I'll have to fend Off the tight end If they lose, that's who I'll blame.
NEXT:
An exhibitionist went to the beach
Posted by Lad Boy on :
An exhibitionist went to the beach Ignoring all I did beseech But that's quite ok cause he wasn't gay and he swam just out of my reach.
NEXT: If Dream Girl is really dead,
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
If Dream Girl is really dead, Will they replace her with Precog Fred, A real cool guy With a third eye Right in the back of his head.
NEXT
Lad Boy eyed Kate's push-up bra
Posted by Kid Prime on :
Lad Boy eyed Kate's push-up bra, It was odd to see him in such awe, 'Till 'pon further inspection The cause of his erection Was not the bra but really Kate's Pa.
(And if I offended anyone, I apologize post-haste.)
Hmm...
Mysa had a magical thought,
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
quote:Originally posted by Kid Prime: (And if I offended anyone, I apologize post-haste.)
In this thread? On this board? Oh pshaw!
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Mysa had a magical thought It was a thought that she had bought At Space Wal-Mart From an ancient tart Who spent all her time smoking pot.
NEXT
Kid Prime had a problem with rust
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Kid Prime had a problem with rust Nothing serious, it was just Spoiling his look So he took Up bathing in oil as a daily must.
NEXT: After it had rained for a week
Posted by legionadventureman on :
After it had rained for a week I noticed there was a leak In my house one day Someone in the shower, i say Maybe i could go take a peek
NEXT: I'd rather read about Jake
[ October 12, 2005, 03:16 AM: Message edited by: legionadventureman ]
Posted by minesurfer on :
I'd rather read about Jake. Oft referred to as "Snake". I hear he's a felon, And alway's a yellin. His acquaintance... I'd rather not make.
Next:
There once was a butler in the pantry...
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
There once was a butler in the pantry Who stood on guard like a sentry But I would take all the cupcakes Because I knew of another entry
NEXT:
The butler on his day off
[ October 12, 2005, 08:30 AM: Message edited by: Quislet, Esq. ]
Posted by minesurfer on :
The butler on his day off. Met Kate's friend Debbie Hoff. He acted real snooty, Then patted her booty. And it was off to the pantry to boff.
Next...
That Debbie was a real nice lady...
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
That Debbie was a real nice lady That is, 'til she met Sean O'Grady He brought her down To the bad parts of town And she soon became rather shady.
NEXT:
Daddy took his little girl on a trip
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Daddy took his little girl on a trip He booked passage on a cruise ship His sweet child turned out wild During her travels she learned how to strip.
NEXT:
I can't believe this is still going on
Posted by minesurfer on :
I can't believe this is still going on. Goes to show we have brains, not braun. Thanks to Kate, Jake, and "Stop". Vance, Nate, and "Bop" We have enough to keep going strong.
Next:
Thinking of the next line is the toughest...
[ October 12, 2005, 10:51 AM: Message edited by: minesurfer ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Thinking of the next line is the toughest But finding the right rhyme is the roughest Still we find words devine Or else we would be saying "Stuff it"
NEXT:
Alice on her way to the Alamo
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
I can't rhyme Alamo. This calls for cheating:
Alice on her way to the Alamo Met her faithful friend, Geronimo He said don't go there Or you'll lose your hair When we scalp everyone-imo!
NEXT:
Quislet threw a monkey wrench
[ October 12, 2005, 11:45 AM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
Quislet threw a monkey wrench. It hit the head of the serving wench. She spilled hot tea On the right knee Of none other than Dame Judi Dench.
Next: Pushing the limits of silly
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
quote:Originally posted by Semi Transparent Fellow: I can't rhyme Alamo. This calls for cheating:
I didn't expect a perfect rhyme, but figured the last syllable could be used for the rhyme.
Posted by minesurfer on :
Pushing the limits of silly Nah... he won't do it... will he? But 'sexual dynamo', Kinda rhymes with 'alamo', And Kate won't be far behind... will she?
Next...
There once was a cabbie from Houston...
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
There once was a cabbie from Houston Whose battery needed boostin' It was dead, So they said Cause in it, a seagull was roostin'.
NEXT
Minesurfer forgot to wear his clothes
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Minesurfer forgot to wear his clothes He remembered when he heard all the "Oohs!" He borrowed Kate's shirt to use as a skirt And he gets a thrill when the wind blows.
NEXT:
Driving from Boston to Dallas
Posted by minesurfer on :
Driving from Boston to Dallas Could leave someone filled up with malice. But in this day and age Kate cures her road rage, With a gear shift in the shape of a ph@lus.
Next:
That last line is a bit risque...
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
That last line is a bit risque But for my eyes only, it's okay For I've seen worse In rhyming verse And oh-so witty repartee.
NEXT
She gazed upon the sacred gem
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
She gazed upon the sacred gem Before she sewed it in her hem The priceless jewel Assured her rule The first crowned head to be a fem.
NEXT: The fox spit out the sour grapes
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
The fox spit out the sour grapes Into the manor's velvet drapes They were not fine For making wine But who can trust those hairless apes?
NEXT:
Help me build this pyramid
Posted by minesurfer on :
Ugh! Just to get "pyramid" off the thread...
Help me build this pyramid. There's no need to be timid. Just start at the base, And put each block in place. When complete just hope that its solid.
Next:
"It's not my best work.", I said.
Posted by legionadventureman on :
"It's not my best work" I said Thinking things off my head The mind is not perking If the brain is not working And other parts made out of lead
NEXT: Icefire is a nice guy
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Icefire is a nice guy Unless you're a crook or a spy If so, you'll be cookin' when you're not lookin' Like an OreIda frozen french fry.
NEXT: I'm stuck in an infinite crisis
Posted by minesurfer on :
I'm stuck in an infinite crisis. You may find yourself asking, "Why's this?" Maybe it's your fate, To have Kate turn you straight. If you want, she'll dress up like Isis.
Next:
There once was an evil genie...
[ October 13, 2005, 10:30 AM: Message edited by: minesurfer ]
Posted by Lad Boy on :
There once was an evil genie... Whose costume was really teeny In a shoestring-thin thong He committed much wrong And became known as the evil weenie.
NEXT: It's time to go out for lunch.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
It's time to go out for lunch And my boss has a good hunch If I find a cutie with a hot booty I'll be gone til Sunday brunch
NEXT:
My thoughts are filled with gloom
Posted by Lad Boy on :
My thoughts are filled with gloom For Kate is in my room While her undressing for surfer's a blessing To me it's the coming of doom.
NEXT:
Is this a daggere which I see before me?
Posted by minesurfer on :
Is this a dagger which I see before me? If it is... things could get stormy. But it's better to see it. I'd think we'd agree it Wouldn't do for the knife to backdoor me.
Next...
There was a young miss quite frumpy...
Posted by Lad Boy on :
There was a young miss quite frumpy... Whose face was all acned and bumpy Her good friend Kate thrilled her, re-dressed her, clearasil-ed her Now she's no longer outcast and grumpy.
NEXT: Kate's brother moved in next door.
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Kate's brother moved in next door To Zsa Zsa and Eva Gabor They made such a fuss Over that boy Gus That he fled to the Jersey shore.
NEXT
Oh when will I ever be rich
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Oh when will I ever be rich Like that trashy Anna Nicole b**ch? When photos in Playboy include a hot gayboy who poses without a stitch?
NEXT: I might get a Playboy subscription
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I might get a Playboy subscription to satisfy a certain predilection I like the trait of pretending to be straight So my mom won't suffer conniptions.
NEXT:
Adam was at home all alone
Posted by minesurfer on :
I might get a Playboy subcription. For boobies... that is the prescription. But those mags are expensive And some say offensive, Well.... I'll just get Katie's edition.
Next:
Let's do a Limerick about Semi...
Posted by minesurfer on :
Aside: Bravo on "conniption"... well played.
Adam was at home all alone... Lathering on shaving cream foam. And for his next trick, He schaved with a Schick. And finished it off with cologne.
Next:
Let's do a Limerick about Semi...
[ October 13, 2005, 11:39 AM: Message edited by: minesurfer ]
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Let's do a Limerick about Semi And all the good things he could gimme, if we were together in denim and leather in the back of my old red Dodge hemi'.
NEXT:
I going home now to a red state.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
(I added "'m" to make the line grammatically correct)
I'm going home now to a red state To do so is my daily fate I know what to do to turn things blue Call me and we'll make a date.
NEXT:
Stuck here feeling sad and blue
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Stuck here feeling sad and blue Wish I were stuck there with you. When I feel this icky I'd like to get sticky With a limerick writer or two.
NEXT: There once was a really tall lawyer.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
There once was a really tall lawyer. Whose head hit the top of the foyer. When the paint was still wet His head did get As white as the fence of Tom Sawyer.
Next: Lad Boy's new costume is hot.
Posted by minesurfer on :
There once was a really tall lawyer. Some say an argumentative warrior. He'd stab you with words, Be they nouns or just verbs. Then turn around and sue his employer.
Next...
The lass had a bad reputation...
[ October 13, 2005, 03:40 PM: Message edited by: minesurfer ]
Posted by minesurfer on :
Lad Boy's new costume is hot. But I think I see an ink spot. The costume's removed, And the crowd has approved. LB likes to show off what he's got.
Next...
The lass had a bad reputation...
Posted by Kid Prime's cocoon on :
The lass had a bad reputation For grossness in her mastication To the dentist she went Lost of money she spent And now she joins freely in food and libation!
Next...
Kid Prime was thinking about Lad Boy...
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Kid Prime was thinking about Lad Boy While playing with his brand new toy He was surprized by the wandering eyes of his new neighbor John Thomas McCoy
NEXT:
What will await me at home?
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
What will await me at home? Will it be an ivory comb To run through my hair With nary a care A I read Lad Boy's love poem.
NEXT:
Tie me up and dip me in ink
[ October 13, 2005, 02:42 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by legionadventureman on :
Tie me up and dip me in ink It will be an experience, i think Of pleasures to come That may seem unnatural to some After i have too much to drink
NEXT: Show me your underwear
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Show me your underwear Said a seriously drunk Cher I declined Lest I be fined For taking a reckless dare.
NEXT
While throwing up in my church
Posted by legionadventureman on :
While throwing up in my church I hastily made a search Of where it went It landed on a gent Who conspicuously looked like Lurch!
NEXT:
Never kiss or tell
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Never kiss or tell while under a witch's spell. But under a warlock's behind some strong doorlocks all such desires I'll quell.
NEXT: It' time to check Yahoo mail.
Posted by Kid Prime's cocoon on :
It's time to check Yahoo mail, To worry 'bout it won't avail, But I sure know I would enjoy a letter from Lad Boy, My new LMB-most-favorite-male!
(P.S. It's giantsnthsky@yahoo.com)
Next:
That's it! I'm giving up men...
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
It's time to check Yahoo mail I do it daily without fail Hoping for a fan letter or something even better an invite to an orgy of Roman scale.
NEXT:
Why does Lad Boy make me feel horny?
Posted by Kid Prime's cocoon on :
Why does Lad Boy make me feel horny? I'd answer that question, but then I'd feel corny. 'Sides, at this time of the day, In the office! Oy vey! Such thoughts would make my pants look rather porny.
Next:
That's it! I'm giving up men!
Posted by Lad Boy on :
(corrective comma added) That's it! I'm giving up, men! No futile resistance; I'm giving in. No more being coy. To Quis, Semi or Lad Boy. I'm meet them at Shakes around ten.
NEXT: I never knew Kid Prime was Jewish.
Posted by Kid Prime's cocoon on :
Amazing what a comma can do. Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
I never knew Kid Prime was Jewish. To me, he looks more Groo-ish Evanier's no robot, Aragones loves Gobots And that gets Kippers real blueish.
NEXT: So Quislet sued himself!
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
So Quislet sued himself For stealing from the shelf For his crime He'll do time Sharing a cell with an elf.
NEXT:
Don't upset the wig-maker, Harry
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Don't upset the wig-maker, Harry He's making a rug for Halle Berry One that will make her look like the Gabor from Green Acres or a LegionWorld member -- quite scary.
NEXT: When Quislet went shopping in WalMart
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
When Quislet went shopping in WalMart He tried to act dignified & smart But when bending over to check the price of clover Everybody heard his great big fart.
NEXT:
Minesurfer stumbled upon the Gay Pride parade
[ October 14, 2005, 02:39 PM: Message edited by: Quislet, Esq. ]
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Minesurfer stumbled upon the Gay Pride parade And realized the mistakes he had made He know longer wants Kate since we've been on a date And done all that he formerly forbade.
NEXT: I'm spending a week in Miami (aside: really are there any LW'ers there)
[ October 14, 2005, 02:49 PM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
I'm spending a week in Miami With my 80 year old grammy I know it's just wrong But she's bringing her thong Hoping to snag that old coot Sammy.
NEXT:
That Lad Boy got an all-over tan
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
That Lad Boy got an all-over tan has made me his biggest fan If I say much more then I am sure to offend and earn a ban
NEXT:
A young man on a trip to Mardi Gras
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
A young man on a trip to Mardi Gras Met young man wearing only a bra Oh, we're just having fun I'm dressed as a nun But I lent the rest of my habit to my pa.
NEXT:
In a leaky boat he sailed out to sea
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
In a leaky boat he sailed out to sea To forget about his lost love, Dee. He sailed far down To old Provincetown And hooked up with a guy named Lee.
Next: I bought myself new leather chaps
Posted by minesurfer on :
In a leaky boat he sailed out to sea. Confident as any mariner could be. So he broke out the rum, Drank until numb, And was found leaking all over his dinghy.
Sorry but I was on the phone with my dad and couldn't post until I hung up. Since I already had the limerick completed, I didn't want to waste it.
To complete Rocky's line...
I bought myself new leather chaps. You know the kind without any straps. They're all that I wear, See my exposed derrier? All the better when I'm out shooting craps.
Next...
Tina the stripper tripped on the ramp...
[ October 14, 2005, 06:45 PM: Message edited by: minesurfer ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Good use of "derrier"
Tina the stripper tripped on the ramp Fell off of the stage and over an amp Surfer was in the right place her cootch was in his face And now his trousers are quite damp.
NEXT:
The missionary was in the bad part of town
Posted by minesurfer on :
The missionary was in the bad part of town. That's where the people needed him around. So in this position He executed his mission To make sure that Katie would soon be unbound.
Next:
A surprising young lad quite chippy...
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
A surprising young lad quite chippy Had a gramps who was an old hippy When the lad gave him sass Gramps whacked his ass And said that'll teach you to be lippy.
NEXT
Beware the sword of Damocles
(Damocles rhymes with "please")
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Beware the sword of Damocles It is not meant to appease It causes stress and the press hang it over judical nominees.
NEXT:
I ate some cherry pie
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
I ate some cherry pie And finished it with a sigh It's good for me Don't you see ... Even I don't believe that lie.
NEXT
Onward soldiers into the fray
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Onward soldiers into the fray For your safe return, I will pray work for peace make war cease from now until the last day
NEXT:
Starshine was at the protest march
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Starshine was at the protest march the one by Washington Square's Arch The NYU kids blew their lids when skinheads threw rotting starch
NEXT: Quislet should leave better lines
Posted by minesurfer on :
Quislet should leave better lines. If he doesn't, there should be fines. For those of you, Who sit and stew... Here's a page... to help with rhymes .
Next (FYI, 'Cork and Cleaver' is a fine restaurant in my hometown)...
I love to eat at the 'Cork and Cleaver'...
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Quislet should leave better lines Although Kent handled that one just fine Still watch what you write or there may be a fight A limerick writer should keep that in mind.
NEXT:
Good night until tomorrow
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
I love to eat at the 'Cork and Cleaver' I dine with Ward and the Beaver Mrs C doesn't like it and Wally's says "spike it, and feed the left-overs to a retriever."
Good night until tomorrow parting is such sweet sorrow sleep well, my friend good dreams we'll send From Morpheus' realm we shall borrow.
NEXT: Minesurfer and Quislet crossed posts
Posted by minesurfer on :
Minesurfer and Quislet crossed posts... Yeah, but mine was first. End Limerick.
aside... think of the above Limerick as a Performance Limerick with a Post Modern Twist and a slight disdain for rhyme. Something Bizarro would be disappointed in.
Next:
There was an Olympian who threw a javelin...
[ October 17, 2005, 01:28 PM: Message edited by: minesurfer ]
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
cop-out!
your "Cleaver" leave-line was completed; you gotta write one before you can offer another "Next"
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
remaining on the docket for lack of completion...
NEXT: Minesurfer and Quislet crossed posts
Posted by minesurfer on :
Are you trying to say that mine wasn't the epitome of a Post Modern Performance Limerick with a disdain for rhyme?
But for one who was coming down on Quislet and his next lines...
Fine we can do it your way...
Minesurfer and Quislet crossed posts On the board that Scott and Gary hosts. How did we do it? Can we get through it? "I have no doubts!" so this one boasts.
Next:
There was an Olympian who threw a javelin...
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
There was an Olympian who threw a javelin It went so high it hit a de Havilland Helicopter Which dropped her Cargo, on the house of Mary Matalin.
NEXT: Neil Gaiman ate a rhubarb pie
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Neil Gaiman ate a rhubarb pie That's the truth, it's no lie He shared it with Miss Kitty On a visit to Dark City Oh this is so bad, I could just die.
NEXT:
American Gods was a boring book
[ October 17, 2005, 05:00 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
(Editorial insert of quotes)
"American Gods was a boring book," Said a critic, but I still took A look and oh glory! What a great story! That critic was a total schnook!
Next: There was once a Lad named Rockhopper
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
There was once a Lad named Rockhopper He loved a penguin teenybopper She thought he was nice But stayed home on the ice Her dad, you see, was a penguin copper.
NEXT: If I had a million dollars to spend
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
If I had a million dollars to spend People would ask me to "lend" them some money It's funny all the people who think they're my friend.
NEXT:
Minesurfer & Kent got into a tizzy
Posted by minesurfer on :
Minesurfer & Kent got into a tizzy. Happened so fast I got a little dizzy. I turn around and Kent's gone. A new page sees it's dawn. Somewhere the Limerick Police are too busy.
Next...
A train leaves Chicago doing eighty...
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
A train leaves Chicago doing eighty But has to stop for Warren Beatty Who's on his way To Santa Fe To meet none other than his lady.
NEXT
The little engine thought he could
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
The little engine thought he could travel from the farm to Hollywood the tractor would be an actor But his elocution wasn't very good
NEXT:
The jester sang for the king & queen
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
The jester sang for the king & queen Played by Madonna and Ben Vereen It was just a play On old Broadway About the fifties music scene.
NEXT:
Take me out to the old ball game
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Take me out to the old ball game Although it seems a bit tame transform the uniform so, it shows the players' shame
NEXT:
It was late at night in the park
Posted by minesurfer on :
It was late at night in the park. On a jog I began to embark. When a man in a coat, ummmm... Flashed me his scrotum. Now I don't run in the park after dark.
Next...
I recently went on vacation...
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
I recently went on vacation I went with Simone the Haitian We went to Cancun in time for monsoon and took part in the evacuation
NEXT: Minesurfer is not a bad egg
Posted by minesurfer on :
Normally I wouldn't make up a limerick about myself, but you never know when inspiration will hit... and that's one muse I listen too.
Minesurfer is not a bad egg. Had my right leg replaced with a peg. But just between us, I have a huge p3nus, Thats harder than my mahogany leg.
Next...
A cute young baker named Tammy...
[ October 19, 2005, 12:37 PM: Message edited by: minesurfer ]
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
A cute young baker named Tammy Got hit with a double whammy Her buns were spurned Becasue they were burned When her lover left her for Sammy.
NEXT
Don't you tread on Superman's cape
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Don't you tread on Superman's cape Don't stand out on the street and gape Don't eat mud Don't drink blood And don't keep watching the ticker tape.
NEXT: Where did all the fishies go?
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Where did all the fishies go? All I hear is "I don't know." "We've drained the supply" Is my best reply But at least I've got my shad roe
NEXT: It's autumn in New York
Posted by Lad Boy on :
It's autumn in New York And Boston, too, you dork. It isn't so queer that this whole hemisphere tilts due to celestial torque.
NEXT: Would you please come rake my leaves?
Posted by minesurfer on :
Would you please come rake my leaves? And feel the chill Autumn breeze. And when you are done, You can bag them for fun, Or sort them by hue if you please.
Next...
A tawdry affair quite sordid...
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
A tawdry affair quite sordid Was mistakenly recorded When uploaded Kate exploded To see her thighs reported.
NEXT:
There once was a nasty divorce
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
There once was a nasty divorce Both sides argued til hoarse Could you conceive or even believe All this fuss over a rocking horse?
NEXT:
Blue Betty needed cheering up
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Blue Betty needed cheering up So I bought her a collie pup It was a blue merle Just right for that girl And on Purina, they did sup.
(Up is surprisingly limited in rhyming possibilities).
NEXT
I think Quisy needs a dog
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I think Quissy needs a dog to get him out of a blue fog what if he got a canine robot Would it be digital or analog?
NEXT:
Semi was voted most likely to...
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Semi was voted most likely to sail the seas in '92 the globe went round he ran aground and settled in Timbuktu
NEXT: Quislet's high school reunion
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Quislet's high school reunion As reported by the Times-Picayune and The Washington Post was twice as fun as most celebrations of first communion.
NEXT: Kent Shakespeare had drunk too much.
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Kent Shakespeare had drunk too much And when he's drunk he likes to clutch So if you're a cutie Watch out for your booty "Cause when he's sober, he'll deny that touch.
NEXT
Lad Boy was slurring his words
[ October 21, 2005, 02:08 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Lad Boy was slurring his words And eating food cooked by Kurds He couldn't sleep And counted sheep That Cobie drove by, in herds.
NEXT: There never was no one named STU
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
There never was no one named STU Who went to Semi Transparent U No there wasn't just one Unlike barbarian Hrun, If truth be told, there were two.
NEXT
Cramer baked a blackbird pie
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Cramer baked a blackbird pie Which PETA loudly did decry They didn't know 'Twas just for show The birds lived and were soon sky-high.
NEXT: When Semi gets his seven thousand
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
When Semi gets his seven thousand He'll be so tired, he'll be drowsin' He'll post through the night With the end in sight And by morning he'll need arousin'.
NEXT
A journey starts with but one step
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
A journey starts with but one step. I remember that when I lose my pep. I'll ignore all strife, Till they make of my life, A film starring Johnny Depp.
("Step" is another word with surprisingly few rhymes).
NEXT Let's all help Semi rack up his posts.
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Let's all help Semi rack up his posts And when he's done shower him with toasts Make him drink stout So he'll pass out And we can be free of all his boasts.
(Sorry about "step" - did you forget Bubba ho-tep" )
NEXT:
That woman had a great big chin
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
That woman had a great big chin. It's longer than her son's violin. It goes through the door Two minutes before The rest of her body is in.
Next: A good time was had by all
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
A good time was had by all At the Psyonian Embassy ball Crujectra danced And men were entranced And lined up to see her, a mile down the hall.
NEXT: Peace, love and penguins! declared Condi Rice
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
"Peace, love and penguins!" declared Condi Rice. "We've invaded Antarctica, not once, but twice, For penguins might evolve and somehow may solve How to build a doomsday device!"
NEXT
I may have to change my sig line.
[ October 24, 2005, 10:56 AM: Message edited by: Rockhopper Lad ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I see you changed the opening line on that limerick.
I may have to change my sig line to something even more devine Something poetic and vey copacetic But not after drinking too much wine.
NEXT:
I walked down to the corner store
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I walked down to the corner store Which had not one corner, but four. If you go there You'll see it's a square. A Pentagon would cost so much more.
NEXT: The '49ers were in town yesterday.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
The '49ers were in town yesterday The crowd yelled "Hip Hip Hurray" I did befriend a cute tight end And I let him have his own way
NEXT:
Me and my bud were watching football
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
quote:Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.: I see you changed the opening line on that limerick.
Oops! That was an accident. I'll edit it so posterity won't notice.
Thanks!
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Me and my bud were watching football hoping the ref would make a good call And force Redskin kicker Novak to join us and not come back and also eject to our seats John Hall.
NEXT: The Limerick timestream has been disrupted.
[ October 24, 2005, 11:02 AM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
The Limerick timestream has been disprupted Because my rhyme-o-meter was corrupted By naughty verse And even worse Which from Lad Boy's computer, had erupted.
NEXT:
Take a letter Miss Moneypenny
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Take a letter Miss Moneypenny Address it to my dear Jenny a declination to an invitation The poor girl is one of many.
NEXT:
It finally happened to Mr. James Bond
Posted by Lad Boy on :
It finally happened to Mr. James Bond It turns out he's rather fond Of that villain Goldfinger and Limericks posters who linger here waiting for Quislet to respond.
NEXT:
There once was a girl named Condoleezza
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
There once was a girl named Condolezza Who came to Canada trying to squeeze ya With our softwood lumber we beat her into slumber and sent her back to Dubya in a freeza.
NEXT:
These poems should not condone beating
Posted by Lad Boy on :
These poems should not condone beating or setting up a real time meeting with Candian strangers, Cobalt Kids, or Red Rangers Especially if you hear sheep bleating.
NEXT: I think I should go to church.
[ October 25, 2005, 11:36 AM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
I think I should go to church My sinful ways leave in the lurch But wait - I see In the vestry The ghost of someone named John Birch.
NEXT: Life is too short to be sour
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Life is too short to be sour Or even morose and dour So stick out your chin And paste on a grin Folks, it's time to seize the hour.
NEXT:
Thanks to you all for helping me post
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Thanks to you all for helping me post to celebrate, a party I will host Plenty of cheer and free beer All raise a glass in a victory toast.
NEXT:
What would Lad Boy do to me?
Posted by Lad Boy on :
What would Lad Boy do to me? Bizarre things totally new to me? Latex and leather? hancuffs? a feather? What pleasures and thrills might be due to me?
NEXT: My bark is worse than my bite.
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
My bark is worse than my bite Unless I get into a fight Screw the law With tooth and claw I'll battle with all my might.
NEXT:
Particularly nice weather
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Particularly nice weather for wearing pants made of leather though it's dreary and cool I would be a fool to cinch them on with a tether.
NEXT: When I went to the Napa Valley
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
When I went to the Napa Valley With my aunt and her freind Sally They both got drunk As a horny skunk And attacked me in the winery galley.
NEXT
Peter rose to the occassion
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Peter rose to the occassion With very little persuasion when on the street he happened to meet A legion fan who was half asian.
NEXT: It was a dark and stormy night
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
It was a dark and stormy night When I beheld a pitiful sight Lad Boy stressed Because he was dressed in a frock that was really a fright
NEXT:
Why do my boss want me to work?
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Why does my boss want me to work? Why does she have to be such a jerk? I've had poems to compose for every crisis that arose. LegionWorld's been my life's greatest perk.
NEXT: The wheels on the bus go round and round.
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
The wheels on the bus go round and round All four of them always touching the ground It's a safe life No trouble or strife Oh how I wish some fun would be found.
NEXT
I saw the constable lick his lips
Posted by Abin Quank on :
I saw the Constable lick his lips Just as the waitress flicked her hips as his eyes traveled down her smile turned to a frown at the deficiency of his tips
NEXT
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup It fell in doing loop-the-loop So get your tray And take it away For I'm allergic to fly poop.
NEXT
I spied a penny on the ground
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I spied a penny on the ground On thrift and wealth, I'll expound Limit your spending and also your lending This advice is most profound.
NEXT:
I descended from my soap box
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I spied a penny on the ground bent down to get it when I found my bike shorts had ripped when over the handlebars I'd flipped I'm glad no Limerick writers were around.
NEXT: Could I please borrow your handcuffs?
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Could I please borrow your handcuffs? because I heard you like it rough You played at being trade But my advances you always rebuff
NEXT:
I descended from my soap box
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
I descended from my soap box To bend down and pull up my socks Good fortune smiled on me For by doing so you see I missed the tomatoes and the rocks.
NEXT:
Tell me your secrets, O Great Sphinx
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Tell me your secrets, O Great Sphinx You who stares and never blinks Don't twiddle or answer in riddle What if I buy the next round of drinks?
NEXT:
The system has shut down
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
The system has shut down By order of the crown Due to a legal flaw We're under martial law Until we kill the royal clown.
NEXT:
Whip me up a mess o' grits
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Whip me up a mess o' grits We're not eating at the Ritz But it's great On my plate If it's served with bacon bits.
NEXT: Watching MSNBC
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Watching MSNBC I felt the urgent need to pee War in Iraq Babies on crack Were suddenly less important to me.
NEXT;
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz is a great movie because of Flying monkeys. And a girl so spunky always garners applause.
NEXT:
A gay rogue named Robin Hood
Posted by Lad Boy on :
A gay rogue named Robin Hood And an Italian puppet made of wood live next door and sometime explore the nature of true manhood.
NEXT: Help find work for Harriet Miers
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Help find work for Harriet Miers The sort of work that inspires She's not a lot to do since she withdrew Rather than face Congressional fire
NEXT:
How about a nice game of cards?
Posted by Lad Boy on :
How about a nice game of cards For the "Kiss this Guy" Legion World bards? Some friendly strip poker for each Limerick thread joker And Cobie's security guards.
NEXT: If you have four queens and a jack
Posted by minesurfer on :
If you have four queens and a jack Don't be too quick to attack. Just make a smooth bet There's no need to fret. On the "river", bet all of your stack.
Next...
A man walked into a bar...
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
A man walked into a bar Hitting his head, he got a scar A gorilla & horse add to it, of course But a pretty lame joke, by far.
NEXT:
Mary went to bed by eight
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
Mary went to bed by eight For next morning she had a date With Joe the plumber, But what a bummer! The nitwit was six hours late.
Next: I'd like to buy a vowel
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Mary went to bed by eight Her husband could harly wait For as she slept out he crept to meet me for our date.
NEXT: Mary got the house and car
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I'd like yo buy a vowel to give to Colin Powell and something really nice for Condoleezza Rice who no longer has trouble with her bowel.
NEXT Mary got the house and car
[ October 28, 2005, 09:04 AM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Mary got the house and car And all the stocks plus a gold bar her attorney named Bernie got the cottage in Myanmar.
NEXT:
Albert has found a new love
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Albert has found a new love A gift, but not from above His new love, you see, Is someone like me Who likes to play catch with no glove.
NEXT: Albert was talking to Kate.
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Albert was talking to Kate About their most recent date I remember your face When I got to first base And you told me it was getting too late.
NEXT:
Call me up and spend a dime
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Call me up and spend a dime When you have some spare time We'll dish and chat about this & that It will all be very sublime.
NEXT:
Lazily drifting down the river
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Lazily drifting down the river Suddenly I felt a shiver Crocodile Gave a smile Thought for lunch he'd have my liver.
NEXT: WIth Tenzil Kem in the kitchen
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
With Tenzil Kem in the kitchen Your nose will be twitchin' The soup's hot and will hit the spot Perfect for a cold away mission.
(kitchen doesn't have many rhyming words)
NEXT:
On a cold and lonely asteroid
Posted by Lad Boy on :
On a cold and lonely asteroid Garth discovered he had a hemorrhoid Without preparation of proper medication he just scratched and scratched in the cold, dark void.
NEXT: While drinking a Georgetown bar,
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
While drinking a Georgetown bar may sound quite bizarre It would be good if you could And finish it off with a cigar
NEXT:
They say it is going to snow
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
They say it is going to snow You ask me how I know I tell you this I never miss When my bunion starts to grow.
NEXT:
Once upon a journey merry
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Once upon a journey merry that started on the Potomac ferry I arrived with my wife but after some strife left the boat with Halle Berry.
NEXT: This year for Halloween
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
This year for Halloween I'll dress like a star of the silver screen If Brad Pitt won't fit I'll just go as a leather queen.
NEXT:
The old miser sat alone in his house
Posted by minesurfer on :
The old miser sat alone in the house, While thinking of Kate in her blouse. His pulse started surging and he developed an urging that not even a cold shower could dowse.
Next...
A lad and a lass after school...
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
A lad and a lass after school wanted to try something cool Said he, "you could impress, if you would just undress." Said she, "I'm not that big a fool."
NEXT:
When her father came home
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
When her father came home From a holiday in Rome He brought Armani For his wife Connie Although she was a crone.
(That just didn't work)
NEXT:
Help me right this terrible wrong
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Help me right this terrible wrong Yes, it's the same old song Ignoring my brain I acted insane Just get me out of this thong!
NEXT: I ate too much Halloween candy
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Help me right this terrible wrong Yes, it's the same old song Ignoring my brain I acted insane Just get me out of this thong!
NEXT: I ate too much Halloween candy
Posted by minesurfer on :
I ate too much Halloween candy. Alot of the loot was quite dandy. Yet most of the sweets Were magnificent treats, But the 'bit-o-honeys' were rather blandy.
Next:
My candy was stolen by ninjas...
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
My candy was stolen by ninjas Who were on their yearly binges A chop to the head They left me for dead But I hung on to life by inches.
NEXT:
Minesufer, that was hard to rhyme,
Posted by minesurfer on :
Aside:
I figured I'd see a sent ya... or a send ya... or something like that. I don't post a word to rhyme unless I have at least one good rhyme in mind for it... I learned my lesson on Ginger. I thought you did a remarkable job.
Back to the game...
Posted by legionadventureman on :
Minesurfer, that was hard to rhyme And make it sound sublime It makes you think That you need a drink Or else commit a really bad crime
NEXT: Who could hate Kate?
Posted by minesurfer on :
Sorry LAM... I had to change your opening line in form so the syllables would work. I hope you don't mind. I believe I've kept the spirit intact.
Is there anybody who could hate Kate? Was the subject of a heated debate. If anyone can, It's Indignant Ann, For Kate ran off with her mate.
Next...
While walking to work in the rain...
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
While walking to work in the rain I suddenly felt a burning pain Was it in my shin Or on my chin Or was I merely going insane?
NEXT:
Standing over the old steam grate
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Standing over the old steam gate I contemplated the whims of fate A rusty bolt a nasty jolt And I would be in a dire strait.
NEXT:
Would a ray of sun part this gloom?
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Would a ray of sun part this gloom And take me from this somber room Into dawn's welcome light To let my heart take flight Far from foul Mordor's Cracks of Doom.
NEXT
Frodo gave his finger for you
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Frodo gave his finger for you Now you should ask what you can do For Middle Earth Where there's a dearth Of heroes. So what else is new?
Next: I dreamed I was on CSI
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
I dreamed I was on CSI I played a buxom private eye Got the job done All in Act one And took the next three acts to die.
NEXT:
Superman is a boy's best friend
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Superman is a boy's best friend On that you may always depend A hero true Old Big Blue He'll back you to the bitter end.
NEXT:
Well, that wasn't very funny
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Well, that wasn't very funny But I don't write these for money If it shows Turn up your nose Be glad I'm not feeling punny.
NEXT: Kate's favourite rock band was The Flips
Posted by minesurfer on :
Kate's favourite rock band was The Flips Every word of their songs parts her lips Although alot less sublime But her favorite pastime Is rhythmically moving her hips.
Next...
A Legion Lass young and mighty...
Posted by Lad Boy on :
A Legion Lass young and mighty who was never flirty nor flighty wore on her chest a red and yellow "S" even on her favorite nightie.
Next: He calls himself Chemical King.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
He calls himself Chemical King He makes the girls (and the boys, too) sing He causes reactions And fights evil factions And for Lyle Norg he has a thing.
NEXT: Oh what could Sinde be doing tonight?
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Oh what could Sinde be doing tonight? Something that provides pure delight No slams about clams Sinde is cute, perky, bubbly, & bright.
NEXT:
Angela sat down on a diner stool
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Angela sat down on a diner stool Then she slid off and felt like a fool. It's one of those days, She thought in a haze As she walked out the door and fell in the pool.
NEXT: There once was a girl whose skin was blue
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
There once was a girl whose skin was blue if you don't know her name, here's a clue Her trade was shade And in the future a champion through & through
NEXT:
From a small space ship was heard "What fun"
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
From a small space ship was heard "What fun" It landed on the third planet from the Sun A long way from Teall Quis hardly seemed real His explorations had just begun.
NEXT: I think most people are working too hard
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
I think most people are working too hard Myself, I come home all scarred the hours suck my boss is a ---- and all my pay comes as lard
NEXT: When Quslet is president
Posted by Lad Boy on :
When Quislet is president, How will tax dollars be spent? Upgrading the Lincoln bedroom Into which cute guys zoom, and are never asked to pay rent.
NEXT: The president has been impeached.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
The president has been impeached The country's laws he breached Who knew what a lie would do and how the opposition screeched.
NEXT:
After autumn comes winter
Posted by Lad Boy on :
After autumn comes winter From firewood comes a splinter speaking of wood it'd be so good if these sexless limericks we would stinter.
NEXT: While showering off at the gym,
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
While showering off at the gym My mind drifted towards him His handsome face In my special place Oh forget about it, it's just a whim.
NEXT:
Distracted by a wayward glance
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Distracted by a wayward glance I forgot to put back on my pants I left the gym and followed him and started a new romance.
NEXT: While on a date with a giant squid
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
While on a date with a giant squid He squirted some ink that made me skid He called out "Wheee!" As we hit the tree "Never again" cried I "God Forbid!"
NEXT:
Lad Boy likes bawdy rhymes
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Lad Boy likes bawdy rhymes That recount his naughty times. He's really no slut -- Just friendly, but his poetry rarely sublimes.
NEXT: Two men were alone in the dark
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Two men were alone in the dark And decided to go on a lark The moonless night Made it seem all right To run through the trees and bark.
NEXT: The last time he went to that bar
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
The last time he went to that bar he drank too much and went too far Extremely drunk he drove to Podunk Someone asked "Do you know where you are?"
NEXT:
What to do when extremely bored
Posted by Lad Boy on :
What to do when extremely bored Come to Legion World, be adored for posting inanities and rhyming insanities the most (legal)fun you can afford.
NEXT: I asked a cop on Castro Street
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I asked a cop on Castro Street Where to go for a little treat He showed me a store that I adore He couldn't have been more sweet.
NEXT:
"What would you like?" asked the clerk
Posted by Lad Boy on :
"What would you like?" asked the clerk I said that I felt like such a jerk. He said, "that's just fine. Come back around nine. 'cause that's when I get off...work."
NEXT: I met the clerk at half past nine.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I met the clerk at half past nine at a nice bistro we did dine I wouldn't boast about their roast So back to my place for some wine
NEXT:
At the end of this strange date
Posted by Lad Boy on :
At the end of this strange date I thought I'd found a new mate but I was wrong and it wasn't long til I went online to tempt fate.
NEXT: He said he liked versatility
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
He said he liked versatility But he didn't count on my agility. I don't think he thought I could tie myself in a knot. But it's a very useful ability.
Next: Lad Boy bought a new bustier.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Lad Boy bought a new bustier Everyone cried hip-hip-hooray The crowd went mad For the boy named Lad Good thing he's not doing this everyday.
NEXT: Now that Monday's here again
Posted by Harbinger on :
Now that Mondays here again I'm almost in tears again Mon to Fri It makes me cry As I can't wait for the weekend again
NEXT: The first line for this limerick
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
(Hurray a new Limericker!)
The first line for this limerick Doesn't contain a sly trick Something plain no rhymer's bane And hopefully the words will click.
NEXT:
She gave birth to a bouncing baby boy
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
She gave birth to a bouncing baby boy We worried she would treat him like a toy The little one Enjoyed the fun Rebounding in a tank that once held koi.
NEXT: Nobody's here on turkey day
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
Nobody's here on turkey day They're in the kitchen, cooking away. They'll eat by and by From salad to pie, That's da capo al fine.
Next: I made a little piggy of myself.
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I made a little piggy of myself I put him on my little office shelf He looked very fine for a small sculptured swine. Next I'll make myself a little clay elf.
NEXT:
That turkey was finger-licking good.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
That turkey was finger-looking good But now it's been out longer than it should Salmonella I can tell ya Is really worth avoiding if you could.
NEXT: While chasing a velociraptor
Posted by Everyday Girl on :
Ohmygod, We're doing limericks now? Kewl Beans!
While chasing a velociraptor TL saw Cali and Trap'er it didn't work out she kicked in his snout and he swore off women thereafter
NEXT: LIKE, KILL THIS THREAD, PLEASE
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
Like, kill this thread, please My anger at it makes me wheeze. Like Hilton sisters playing twister. A symptom of societal disease.
Next: I went walking through the snow.
Posted by Abin Quank on :
I went walking through the snow whilst a frigid wind did blow twas piled high right and left and I saw thru yon cleft Igloos all in a row
Next: One fine sunny morning
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
One fine sunny morning I heard eleven worms yawning. Wait! That's wrong! That's a Sesame Street song! That just slipped in without warning.
Next: It would have been better if I'd left it alone.
Posted by legionadventureman on :
It would have been better if I'd left it alone When last night I answered the phone To a heavy breather Whose surname was Cleaver I asked if he needed a bone
NEXT: Carry on at your own peril
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Carry on at your own peril my wayward son, Terrill. There'll be peace if you don't cease though all the world's wiped sterile.
NEXT: All we are is dust in the wind
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
All we are is dust in the wind Making me feel very chargrined It's too much to think so let's have a drink and discuss the wit of Paul Lynde
NEXT:
I have been to hell and back
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I have been to hell and back There I saw Roberta Flack Her voice really thilled me. Softly she nearly killed me, Then we returned to DC on AmTrak.
NEXT:
Once on a long train ride,
Posted by legionadventureman on :
Once on a long train ride I swear, I nearly cried I saw this divine creature With a handsome feature And with him, was his bride!
NEXT: Luck be a lady tonight
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Luck be a lady tonight and send me a guy who's just right on a 10-scale my date should be better than 8, and please, Luck, no transvestite.
NEXT: If you're wearing a kilt in Chicago,
Posted by Everyday Girl on :
If you're wearing a kilt in Chicago You better not go Commando Cuz the winds do blow and the next thing you know I'll be laffing, Ho Ho Ho
**Giggle**
NEXT: Twas a dark and stormy night
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
If you're wearing a kilt in Chicago, Don't go out when the temp is zero Your date for the night will scream in fright and ask very loudly "Where did it go?"
NEXT:
The pizza delivery guy at the door
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Twas a dark and stormy night The wind blew with all its might I got to my date's not too too late But my hair was a regular fright.
NEXT:
The pizza delivery guy at the door
Posted by Lad Boy on :
The pizza delivery guy at the door Looked at his tip and asked me for more I said, "please come in." Real gratitude will begin when we're naked together on the floor.
NEXT: His leather pants seemed just a bit tight.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
His leather pants seemed just a bit tight He wondered if he ate too much tonight That third slice Of cake was nice And so was his date. Life was all right.
NEXT: I love you but I keep you on a chain
(ahem! thinking of my dog, but run with it) Posted by Lad Boy on :
I love you but I keep you on a chain. That choke collar could cause you some pain If you don't do as I say When I come 'round to play. There'll be no treats for you if you complain.
(umm, yeah, thinking of a dog, too.)
Next:
Love me, even when I'm sadistic.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Love me, even when I'm sadistic or I'll go totally ballistic You can't have missed I'm such a egotist and not terribly realistic.
NEXT:
Help me get my boots off please
Posted by Ladrhino Boy on :
Help me get my boots off please Just straddle my thigh to remove these I like to feel you tug on my heel and slip each one off, you tease.
NEXT:
My favorite button-fly jeans
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
My favorite button-fly jeans have given me the means for a chance in his pants before all the other queens.
NEXT:
I crossed over to the other side
[ December 16, 2005, 12:31 PM: Message edited by: Quislet, Esq. ]
Posted by Ladrhino Boy on :
I crossed over to the other side. I did nothing I feel I should hide. I had broken my bike so I had to hitchhike. Thanks, Quislet and Lash, for the ride.
NEXT:
"This Buick has a big back seat."
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
This Buick has a big back seat But too small for acrobatic feats It's more swell in a hotel with room service and clean sheets.
NEXT:
On Christmas Eve, I saw Santa's sleigh
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
On Christmas Eve, I saw Santa's sleigh But it was going the other way His GPS Was in a mess He won't get here 'til Boxing Day.
NEXT: I'm waiting for the aliens to land
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I'm waiting for the aliens to land We'll all give them a great big hand When they take DC's first resident -- the United States' president -- to Uranus it will be quite grand.
NEXT:
Republicans in outer space
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Republicans in outer space shouldn't feel out of place Comets whizz and stars fizz an intelligent design to embrace
NEXT:
This year has been a mess
Posted by Hey you on :
This year has been a mess I'm overcome by stress the war in Iraq is run by a quack aided by an addled Congress
next: When things couldn't get any worse
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
When things couldn't get any worse Someone writes another verse a silly pun is very fun And I like that Lad Boy is perverse.
NEXT:
A cab driver from New York
Posted by Lad Boy on :
A cab driver from New York eating KFC meals with a spork One day did flatten Lower Manhattan Cause his hemi had far too much torque.
NEXT:
This limerick is rated "R".
Posted by Abin Quank on :
This limerick is rated "R" It shouldn't be said in a car Cause folks near and far Will stare, their mouths ajar Amazed at how witty you are
NEXT:
Hey there little Red Rocking Hood.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Hey there little Red Rocking Hood Building a post count really good from what I see you're an alt-ID role-playing as only Abin could.
Next: It's a long way to Poughkeepsie
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
It's a long way to Poughkeepsie. I went there once and got tipsy. I met a strange lad. With whom I was bad. Next day, he ran off with a Gypsy.
Next: Fifteen year-old, single-malt scotch
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Fifteen year-old, single-malt scotch Is one gift that no one could botch I gave some to Pammie We share a few drammies But we never shared with Ed Koch
Next: The Brits are already hung over
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
The Brits are already hung over From Hadrian's wall to Dover jolly good cheer and warm beer with Faraway Lad naked in the clover.
NEXT:
A new verse for the new year
Posted by legionadventureman on :
A new verse for the new year Let me make this clear No one must edit People must read it Or else they say "Oh dear"
NEXT: Quislet is a champ
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Quislet is a champ Although a bit of a scamp His posts are devine His wit is sublime And he lives near the I-93 ramp
Next: Legionadventureman's habit
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Legionadventureman's habit Upset the new abbott Making puns for racey fun While wearing a live rabbit
NEXT:
Kent gave a hard word to rhyme
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Kent gave a hard word to rhyme, but I'd bet more than a dime that a limerick poster who's a great coktail toaster will post a reply in record time.
NEXT:
When Quislet is not in court suing
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
When Quislet is not in court suing Or at the office Legion World viewing I'd like to know Where does he go? And what else is he doing?
NEXT:
I wrote a limerick, dagnabbit
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I wrote a limerick, dagnabbit It's sure to become a habit What to do Write a haiku Or spend hours watching Dick Cavett
NEXT:
I was sure this wouldn't last a page
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
I was sure this wouldn't last a page But now limericks are all the rage! Who knew simple rhyme Would, in its due time, So many of our posters engage?
Next: You never know what folks will like
Posted by Lad Boy on :
You never know what folks will like Car, bus, subway, or bike. I'm even quite certain that sometimes a hurtin' can be fun if given by Mike.
NEXT:
Have I become too naughty?
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
Have I become too naughty? Said Lad Boy, his voice slightly haughty. He knows his stuff. He's just naughty enough. And just a little bawdy.
Next: I sometimes think I'm too nice.
Posted by legionadventureman on :
I sometimes think I'm too nice A little bit sugar, a little bit spice But don't get me riled My behaviour is already filed for eating three blind mice
NEXT: Are we going too far?
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Are we going too far? Do reputations we mar? by talking philander our friends we slander helping Quislet's clients by far
NEXT: I believe Woodrow Wilson was right
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
I believe Woodrow Wilson was right When he said, "I undress only at night I don't want you to see My satin lingeree. By the gleam of the rosy dawn's light."
(I admit I took liberty with the pronunciation of "lingeree")
NEXT: While scratching my thigh in September
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
While scratching my thigh in September I suddenly seemed to remember My strange allergy To the sting of the bee. And I was laid up till November.
Next: Hip hip hurrah! Semi is back!
[ January 21, 2006, 05:41 PM: Message edited by: Rockhopper Lad ]
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Hip hip hurrah! Semi is back! His presence we've been at a lack our prayers we did render for our favorite bartender let's hope he remains to unpack
NEXT: The most amazing thing did occur
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
The most amazing thing did occur While watching Heston in Ben Hur The NRA Thought it too gay That Charlton's chest was lacking fur.
NEXT:
While walking my doggie in the town
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
While walking my doggie in the town I was accosted by a clown he spoke in rhyme wasting my time as he painted the town brown
NEXT: Whilst visiting Scotland Yard
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Whilst visiting Scotland Yard I found a business card "Mysteries plain I can explain" signed Inspector Lestrade
NEXT:
Traveling through France
Posted by legionadventureman on :
Travelling through France I happened by chance To spot a sight Which gave me a fright The corpse of Jack Palance
NEXT: What happened next?
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
What happened next? The Gendarmerie sought context the actor's remains with ruptured veins made forensic experts vexed
next: Inspector Clouseau found the clue
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Inspector Clouseau found the clue In a large pile of French goose poo "A-ha!," he said, "I know why he's dead, And if you think hard, so will you!"
NEXT:
The reason he died is very clear
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
The reason he died is very clear Billy Crystal pushed him under a steer he refused you see to make 'City Slickers 3' 'cause Palance would rather play 'Lear'
Next: After 700 Sundays in jail
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
After 700 Sundays in jail Billy Crystalreally began to wail Sorry I snuffed old Jack If I could I'd take it back And write another ending to this tale.
NEXT:
When Billy saw the hangman's noose
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
When Billy saw the hangman's noose his bowels really let loose He said a prayer for the electric chair Where he'd really get the juice.
NEXT:
On the way to the electric chair
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
On the way to the electric chair They asked the barber to shave his hair After all that trouble He still had stubble So Billy said "You should have used Nair!"
NEXT:
The power went out when they threw the switch
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
The power went out when they threw the switch We didn't get to see him twitch the courts say they can zap but once the warden felt like such a dunce When Billy got out without a hitch
NEXT: Free again, Billy was shunned
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Free again, Billy was shunned But mostly, the public was stunned To see him appear In a movie that year As a cowboy who'd been out-gunned.
NEXT:
Billy called up Brittany Spears
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Billy called up Brittany Spears but she was out it appears Kevin was in his friend Martin had been visiting for years
NEXT:
When will this story end?
Posted by Lad Boy on :
When will this story end? Right now, Quislet, old friend. I don't mean to be snotty, but this thread's grown un-naughty, And that's an unsuitable trend.
NEXT:
If I met a half-drunken sailor,
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
If I met a half-drunken sailor, I'd whisk him away to my trailer Where I'd say please unzip Your pants have a rip And I must send them off to my tailor.
(Naughty enough for you, Lad Boy?)
NEXT:
Lad Boy went for a ride in the nude
Posted by legionadventureman on :
Lad Boy went for a ride in the nude We all whistled something crude He had just worked out We all had to shout "Show us a bit more, you prude!"
(I tried to liven this up, but... )
NEXT: What Lad Boy had to show
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
What Lad Boy had to show left the crowd all aglow not from sensation but nuke radiation from his Chernobyl childhood, you know
NEXT: Legionadventureman's wit
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Legionadventureman's wit had made quite a hit But these lines aren't the kind to make your sides split.
NEXT:
Under the burning sun of Tharr
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Under the burning sun of Tharr I wished upon that big hot star For a glass of something cool To drink beside the pool Of the Inter-Galactic SHAKES Bar.
NEXT:
Watching syncho swim is just my style
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Watching syncho swim is just my style the graceful moves make me smile I suspect it gets no respect But the speedos make it wothwhile.
NEXT:
As I await the coming of Spring
[ February 01, 2006, 09:22 AM: Message edited by: Quislet, Esq. ]
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
As I await the coming of Spring I dream of taking to wing to flee this grind it's getting old, I find Let's see what fate can bring
NEXT: If I owned a flame-thrower
Posted by Brainiac 5 on :
If I owned a flame-thrower Instead of a crappy lawn-mower I'd torch all the grass And kick so much ass I wouldn't even need a leaf-blower.
NEXT: Inside of my car is a mess...
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Inside of my car is a mess I shamefully confess You'll find candy wrappers Soda cans and stale crackers And possible the monster from Loch Ness
NEXT:
The meter of that one was off
Posted by legionadventureman on :
The meter of that one was off Had to find out What the fuss was all about I opened the lid Out popped a hairy Goth
NEXT: Wax on, wax Hoff?
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Wax on, wax Hoff? Cough cough cough cough Next time Remember the rhyme Is off off on on off.
NEXT
And the first line needs at least six beats
[ February 07, 2006, 01:56 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
And the first line needs at least six beats To keep them on the edge of their seats To rhyme well is so swell That's the way to make limerick feats
NEXT:
A lonely lawyer spent the afternoon
Posted by Lad Boy on :
A lonely lawyer spent the afternoon Watching his favorite cartoon It wasn't a hoax. That's all folks! He"ll come out and play late in June.
NEXT: I'm lying in bed all alone.
[ February 07, 2006, 07:41 PM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
I'm lying in bed all alone Looking longingly at the phone Will he call? - That cutie Paul - And rescue me from the Phantom Zone.
NEXT
I saw Lad Boy sitting in the park
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I saw Lad Boy sitting in the park He was looking for a brand new lark in the mood for something crude It was a very good thing it was dark.
NEXT:
While strolling in the park at twilight
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
While strolling in the park at twilight I came across a most peculiar sight There was Lad Boy Reading Tolstoy In Russian, exercising his linguistic might.
NEXT: In San Diego at the zoo
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
In San Diego at the zoo I saw a most intriguing crew They wore bizarre drapes of all colors and shapes Oh, wait, I'm at Comic-Con. Hoo!
Next: If I were a rock 'n' roll singer
Posted by minesurfer on :
If I were a rock 'n' roll singer. My group would be called "The Dead Ringer" I'd meet a nice broad. Who believed me a god. And back to my room I would bring her.
Next:
While on a starship to Naboo
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
While on a starship to Naboo I was feeling a wee bit blue The trip was a gift To give me a lift But I was lonely without you.
NEXT
While eating pork buns in Shanghai
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
While on a starship to Naboo I met a guy who was faboo Lil'rhino Please be mine! Oh! No need that you to me be true.
NEXT: One year later I did see
Posted by minesurfer on :
While eating pork buns in Shanghai. I dropped some on my dang thigh. One year later I did see The same pork on my knee. Still tasty, but a tad bit too dry.
Next:
What she's weain' seems a bit racy
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
While eating pork buns in Shanghai a handsome man gave me the eye A flirt or a pervert or just a very friendly guy
NEXT (Fat Cramer's line):
One year later I did see
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
One year later I did see a guy from Tallahassee his accent meant He was really from Tennessee
NEXT (Minesurfer's line):
What she's wearin' seems a bit racy
Posted by minesurfer on :
I knew I shouldn't have come back. LOL.
Since I worked both Semi's and Cramer's line into my limerick why don't we continue on with my next line? If everybody's agreeable.
(edit)
You're too quick Quis.
[ February 09, 2006, 11:46 AM: Message edited by: minesurfer ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
quote:Originally posted by minesurfer: I knew I shouldn't have come back. LOL.
Since I worked both Semi's and Cramer's line into my limerick why don't we continue on with my next line? If everybody's agreeable.
(edit)
You're too quick Quis.
And you were good to work both lines into one limerick
Posted by minesurfer on :
quote:Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.: And you were good to work both lines into one limerick
Aww shucks... I wouldn't say that. Just makin' do with what was provided. Heck, I only had to come up with 3/5 of a limerick. Made my job easier.
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Very clever, minesurfer - and WELCOME back. We've missed you in limerickland.
What she's wearin' seems a bit racy It's short and pink and rather lacy To wear to mass Since it shows her ass But I don't care cause I love my Stacey.
NEXT
Wearing a bra and lace panties
Posted by minesurfer on :
Wearing a bra and lace panties Left to her by both of her aunties. He tore off her mink That tree huggin' fink Now he's wanted by three Vigilantes.
Next:
While riding a horse into town...
(edit) Thanks Semi... The welcome back is appreciated. The holidays get very hectic for me and work was surprisingly busy when I came back. I kept an eye on the thread, but didn't really have time to put my best effort into any responses.
[ February 09, 2006, 01:20 PM: Message edited by: minesurfer ]
Posted by Lad Boy on :
While riding a horse into town A young lass stipped off her gown. "You I think I've a yearning for Godiva Chocolate from this store that I found.
NEXT: Month after month without Kate
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Month after month without Kate Has left us feeling quite great Our anxiety's lightened And our morals have tightened Not worrying when her period is late.
NEXT:
There's something odd about Harry
Posted by legionadventureman on :
There's something odd about Harry He's not a guy I would marry He has also a pop Who loves a lamb chop But no, I think that was Shari
NEXT: Semi is a great guy
Posted by minesurfer on :
There's something odd about Harry. Those around him seem to be wary. He seems very happy, An elegant chappy! Could it be that Harry was Mary?
Next:
A groundhog, a squirrel, and a fox...
[ February 15, 2006, 11:52 AM: Message edited by: minesurfer ]
Posted by minesurfer on :
Semi is a great guy And not to terribly shy. He lives at the docks, With a squirrel and a fox. Sharing a strawberry pie.
Next:
Kate went to confess all her sins
Posted by legionadventureman on :
Kate went to confess all her sins She was dating a guy with a great set of fins His name was Arthur Who lived with his mum, Martha Kate thought: Who Dares Wins?
NEXT: Minesurfer's shooting the curl
Posted by Brainiac 5 on :
Minesurfer's shooting the curl Trying to impress a hot girl He gives her a shout And then he wipes out Out of pity she gives him a whirl
NEXT: A Scotsman named Ian MacPhee
Posted by legionadventureman on :
A Scotsman named Ian McPhee Was so dense he could only count to three He wanted to see more When he counted to four Instead was hit by a tree
NEXT: Lad Boy's loin-cloth
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
Lad Boy's loin cloth Was eaten by a moth. 'Twill be a surprise When he does arise And reaches for it after his bawth.
Next: That first line was too short
Posted by legionadventureman on :
"Bawth"?????
That first line was too short But it rhymed of a sort It gets way too easy To think up a sleazy Verse from a card you just bought
NEXT: Rockhopper is a fine feathered bird
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Rockhopper is a fine feathered bird with a musical gift; have you heard His specialty's oral music...like...choral Of his other gifts, don't say a word.
NEXT: While sailing the harbor in Sydney,
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
While sailing the harbor in Sydney I was soaked from foot to mid-knee I knew something was wrong The wind was so strong That the boom swung into my kidney.
NEXT
My glamorous auntie from Rome
[ February 10, 2006, 01:38 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
My glamorous auntie from Rome Came to stay for three months in my home She rolled all her "R"s And raced in sports cars Then moved on to my cousin in Nome.
NEXT: She sang a mournful song about a bird
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
She sang a mournful song about a bird, It was the saddest thing I'd ever heard His name was Fred And now he was dead Cooked in a pie with vanilla cream curd.
NEXT:
I bought a new watch from Toledo
[ February 10, 2006, 03:02 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I bought a new watch from Toledo From a guy on the street named Guido It looked really cool. People stared at the pool. Cause it perfectly matched my white speedo.
NEXT: If I had stayed home today
Posted by legionadventureman on :
If I had stayed home today I would have missed the byplay Of Legion fans far and wide Of whom I confide Especially when Im in a mood so gay
NEXT: Lad Boy's black g-string
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Lad Boy's black g-string is really quite the thing Sexy and hot it hits the spot But I'd rather have the bling
NEXT:
What should I do on my last day of work?
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
What should I do on my last day of work? I'm not the kind who would snooze or would shirk Maybe a long lunch With the office bunch One more week there and I could go beserk
NEXT: I saw the strangest sight today downtown
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
I saw the strangest sight today downtown It involved a budgie and a clown Playing dominos In panties and black hose While one wore a grin and the other a frown.
NEXT:
I sat on a pier in Halifax
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I sat on a pier in Halifax Sadly playing my alto sax full of woe for a lost beau Cause when he left, he took all my slacks
NEXT:
Semi pulled on the fire alarm
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Semi pulled on the fire alarm While visiting Old MacDonald's farm We're glad to say He saved the day And kept the animals from harm.
NEXT:
A hero's medal is on my chest
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
A hero's medal is on my chest. He left it on when we undressed. It hangs round his neck And rests on my pec. While his lips on mine are pressed.
Next: Lad Boy came by for a cup of tea.
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Lad Boy came by for a cup of tea -- Liked it so much he moved in with me. We'd start off each day with a sip of Earl Grey, Now Earl's moved in too, quite happily.
NEXT: What could be better than oolong?
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
What could be better than oolong? Maybe Lad Boy in a sexy red thong I'll indulge in his bulge It is what he wanted all along.
NEXT:
Could even Lad Boy's bulge cheer me up?
Posted by Lad Boy on :
double post!
[ February 15, 2006, 10:58 AM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
Posted by Lad Boy on :
In an effort to get our PG-13 rating back, I've edited your first line.
Could even Lad Boy's bugle cheer me up when I'm feeling down in the dumps? His limericks are corny, but he's brassy and horny and makes my pulse speed up.
NEXT: Quislet's a gifted tromboner.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Quislet's a gifted tromboner His sister just isn't - disown her. But she could play the drums And she wasn't all thumbs So some Martians decided to clone her.
NEXT: I once had a crush on a clam
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
I once had a crush on a clam, A bearded one, named Sam He kept to himself On a rocky shelf Deep in the sea of Siam.
NEXT:
What is the meaning of life?
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
What is the meaning of life? Is it sweet or just horrible strife? A question one asks After too many flasks When you aren't quite as sharp as a knife
NEXT: Once I went surfing in Utah
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Once I went surfing in Utah With an Andalusian putah She had quite a bod But her accent was odd When she asked where was the wutah?
NEXT:
Outdoor Miner made that one too hard
Posted by Brainiac 5 on :
Miner made that one too hard But Semi's a modern-day bard With razor-sharp wit You know he won't quit 'Til he burns out his memory card.
NEXT: Went shopping with baby today...
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Went shopping with baby today She makes me pay and pay and pay But it's worthwhile to see her smile Much to my accountant's dismay.
NEXT:
My accountant called with bad news
Posted by legionadventureman on :
My accountant called with bad news So I had a case of the blues I went out one day To buy a scratchie, you say I'm a millionaire with really bad shoes
NEXT: Money cures the blues
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Money cures the blues But then so does booze I've been fired which makes me tired I think I'll take a snooze.
NEXT:
There was a fly in my clam chowder
Posted by Lad Boy on :
"There was a fly in my clam chowder!" I exclaimed this louder and louder. It turns out, you see, there a delicacy. The Talokian chef could not have been prouder.
NEXT:
Today I feel quite hebetudinous.
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Hebetudinous - according to word-a-day, is pronounced "heb-i-TOOD-n-uhs" (Just so you'd know where my rhymes come from)
Today I feel quite hebetudinous, I think I'll forgo all rudeness Instead I might Let my mind take flight Into the sordid realm of lewdness.
NEXT:
The mayor decreed we all must go
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
The mayor decreed we all must go to see Semi's new art show t'was quite the bash Even when Lash showed up wearing naught but a 'fro
Next: I really need a new job
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I really need a new job with lots of time to hob-nob With a Semi-transparent Fellow and a Kid who is Yellow and a bawdy bike-rider named Rob.
NEXT:
Moday's a great holiday
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I really need a new job with lots of time to hob-nob With a Semi-transparent Fellow and a Kid who is Yellow and a bawdy bike-rider named Rob.
NEXT:
Monday's a great holiday
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Double post.
Posted by Brainiac 5 on :
Monday's a great holiday We celebrate President's Day By luck or by quirk I don't have to work So I'm missing the overtime pay.
NEXT: Ol' Dick is a pretty good shot...
Posted by legionadventureman on :
Ol' Dick is a pretty good shot His aim was well and true Twas a pity He wasn't Walter Mitty Listening to Bush's gems of wisdom - not
NEXT: Rockhopper's lair is groovy
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Rockhopper's lair is groovy I filmed it once for a movie a sequel was planned but Bush had it banned so I had to shoot in Peruvi'
(shortened from the Italian city of Peruvia)
NEXT: When Brainiac Five plays guitar
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
When Brainiac Five plays guitar He reminds me of Ravi Shankar With his Hindu demeanor He couldn't be keener If he actually played the sitar.
NEXT:
A siren lured me to her lair
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
A siren lured me to her lair She had some seaweed in her hair She spoke in Greek And said, "You geek! I really wanted an au pair!"
NEXT: Whatever became of Quislet, Esquire?
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Whatever became of Quislet, Esquire? I tell you my friend, that man was on fire He ruled the courts With his knowledge of torts, What a sad day if he decides to retire.
NEXT:
Lady Cramer slipped out the back door
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Lady Cramer slipped out the back door She wanted to jet to Azores Or maybe Aruba T'was time to scuba And winter was becoming a bore
Next: Semi sued Quislet you know
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Semi sued Quislet you know For stealing his blond afro I can't go out He said with a pout, How could Quis have sunk so low?
NEXT
Kent concocted a powerful brew
[ February 22, 2006, 10:13 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Kent concoted a powerful brew That made the girls (and not a few) Run after him But on a whim He pursued just one, named Sue.
NEXT: On Friday nights in Idaho
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
On Friday nights in Idaho everyone likes to see a show it'll do if not new As long as it doesn't snow
NEXT:
A sailor with a bum leg
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
A sailor with a bum leg Go it stuck in a whiskey keg Gangreen set in To his chagrin So now he has a wooden peg.
NEXT:
A parrot walked into a bar
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
A parrot walked into a bar Turning heads near and far A woman named Molly sneered "Nice feathers, Polly!" The birds replied, "Get lost, crackar"
NEXT: I got'cher bird right here
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
I got'cher bird right here Very fine plumage m'dear Look at this feather It ain't seen the weather Yup, this bird's without a peer.
NEXT:
The pirate dropped his pantaloons
Posted by Lad Boy on :
The pirate dropped his pantaloons. Or was it MLLASH? For whenever he moons Quislet, Semi or me, we respond accoringly by tossing him Mardi Gras doubloons.
NEXT:
Is that a doubloon in your pocket?
Posted by legionadventureman on :
Is that a doubloon in your pocket Are you glad to see me? Full of wealth and cheer I'm so glad youre here So here's your payment docket
NEXT: Remember the Alamo
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Remember the Alamo Then eat some salami But if you don't care Wear your underwear Before you go-go.
(This was a LAM free-style limerick)
Now, back to real limericks. Pease remember, the rhyme scheme is "a-a-b-b-a."
NEXT:
Last night, I heard my favorite disco song
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
Last night, I heard my favorite disco song. Saw gals and gals in just a thong. On the eve of Mardi Gras I stood in awe And hoped that Nawlins will be back strong.
NEXT:
There's someting not right with that gourd.
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Last night, I heard my favorite disco song It's been stuck in my head all day long I'm Stayin' Alive Baby, I Will Survive! STF, You Should be Dancin' in a sequined thong.
NEXT:
Have you heard the new song by ABBA?
[ February 28, 2006, 10:25 AM: Message edited by: Lad Boy ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Have you heard the new song by ABBA? I think it was rather quite blah Agnetha's mucus bothered George Lucas More than the song about a Hutt named Jabba.
NEXT:
The winter cold has frozen my bones.
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
The winter cold has frozen my bones When I move it's just creaks and groans Give me a toddy To warm my body And rid me of my pitiful moans.
NEXT:
He went to the strip club yesterday
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
He went to the strip club yesterday In the mood to play and play one too mank drink makes it hard to think So now he has to pay and pay and pay
NEXT:
Agnes went on a very long trip
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Agnes went on a very long trip With a very young man. She thought she was hip. In windy Chicago He dumped her in sorrow On the radar of romance, this was but a blip.
NEXT: They sailed to France with Mick Jagger
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
They sailed to France with Mick Jagger they entered port with a swagger "mon dieu!" Monique quips, "E's got a 'uge set of lips!" But old Mick proceded to bag her
NEXT: Where in the world is my frisbee?
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Where in the world is my frisbee? Could it be lying low in Grimsby? A lovely town Of scarce reknown Oh let it be there, oh please be!
(It was lame, but frisbee is hard to rhyme)
NEXT:
We will all meet up in San Diego
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
We will all meet up in San Diego we will all dance the fandango the time shall be grand it will get out of hand like some drunk psychadelic tango
NEXT: I can't wait til July rolls around
Posted by Yellow Kid on :
I can't wait 'til July rolls around And the old San Diego downtown should be doub-lly sweet to be off of the street when the heat can fry eggs on the ground!
next?
Who lost their flight ring at the beach?
Posted by Brainiac 5 on :
Who lost their flight ring at the beach? Its owner I now do beseech To come and reclaim This trinket of fame And suffer the "be careful" speech.
NEXT: I got a flat tire today...
Posted by legionadventureman on :
I got a flat tire today Being at work rather than play It was hard going Jacking and slowing Being on my knees to pray
NEXT: Bless you, my son
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Father Mike said Bless you, my son Now is the time you must run The regent's discovered The plot you uncovered To keep the throne from the king's son.
NEXT:
He pull his hair and let out a scream
Posted by Lad Boy on :
He pull his hair and let out a scream. He act like he drunk on Jim Beam. I says to you "Who knew that Borbon Street voodoo not quite as fake as it seem?"
NEXT: You don't care to ponder the alternative.
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
"You don't care to ponder the alternative," Said Lucy McGill as she pulled out her shiv My hands in the air I said, "I don't care," "Without your love, I've no reason to live."
NEXT
Lad Boy announced he'd found his calling
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Lad Boy announced he'd found his calling turns out it's rather appalling. neither medicine nor law. no, it's something quite raw and total strangers find it enthralling.
NEXT:
It's time to get back to work.
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
It's time to get back to work At my job as a soda jerk I work at the mall With my friend Paul Who work's at Macy's as a clerk.
NEXT:
In ancient Rome a dagger was drawn
Posted by Lad Boy on :
In ancient Rome a dagger was drawn, By an artist who sat on the lawn. He drew it on scolls with chalks and coals. It was hung in the senate at dawn.
NEXT:
Are you sure the jury was hung?
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
"Are you sure the jury was hung?" She said, licking her lips with her tongue "The foreman was small Not impressive at all And the rest seemed too old or too young."
NEXT:
Bertha knocked the judge to the floor
(P.S., kudos to Lad Boy for not taking the obvious meaning (given the context) of "drawn")
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Bertha knocked the judge to the floor when she burst through the courtroom door. The Baliff said, "it's my duty, on behalf of Judge Judy, to lock you up so you can't do that any more."
NEXT: Your meaning's obvious, given the context.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Your meaning's obvious, given the context Although you invited me here on a pretext I choose to abide Let differences slide And calmly await whatever may come next.
NEXT: The moon was full and the water cold
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
The moon was full and the water cold The lovers were young but their story old 'Tween feuding clans Forging secret plans Finding peace 'neath the waves, I'm told
NEXT: Over the sea to Skye
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Over the sea to Skye Oh how I wish I could fly To my true love Just like a dove Ere from missing her I die.
(Edited because I forgot to provide the next line).
NEXT:
I fell in love with a dancer
[ March 04, 2006, 06:01 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
quote:Originally posted by Lad Boy: He pull his hair and let out a scream. He act like he drunk on Jim Beam. I says to you "Who knew that Borbon Street voodoo not quite as fake as it seem?"
NEXT: You don't care to ponder the alternative.
I just reread this and realized how clever it was. You took my spelling mistake (which resulted in a grammatical error) and used that throughout your limmerick. I really laughed when I saw what you had done. Very good, Lad Boy. Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
I fell in love with a dancer She needed naught to enhance her Said I, "My sweet Marie, Shall we flee to gay Paree?" But she did not give me an answer
NEXT: She lost her heart in old Quebec
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
She lost her heart in old Quebec it left her quite a wreck Looking high & low Wouldn't you know She found it with a Czech.
NEXT:
Anne went on a whirl-wind shopping spree
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Anne went on a whirl-wind shopping spree But before she left, she forgot to pee Oh god, crud There was a flood Because no-one could find the bathroom key.
(Sorry, I was just feeling a little juvenile.)
NEXT:
Tommy, the mall boy, mopped up the mess
Posted by legionadventureman on :
Anne went on a whirl-wind shopping spree Buying up big a dress or three But as she went to pay A salesgirl was heard to say "Three people could fit into that dress, you agree?"
NEXT: Profanity is verboten
Posted by legionadventureman on :
Damn! I overlooked Semi's verse!!!!
Tommy the mall boy mopped up the mess Anne looked a sight in her sopping wet dress She said "How dreadful" He said "Your med's full" How he worked again is anyone's guess!
NEXT: Profanity is verboten (Take two) Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Profanity is verboten (Take two Prozac, and please think before you Post it No sh** You'll regret bad language if you do.)
NEXT: Our time here is so fleeting and so brief
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Our time here is so fleeting and so brief mortality stalks us like a thief look not for answers give way not to cancers in daily blessings seek your relief
NEXT: laugh at the face of death
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Laugh at the face of death As you take your final breath Follow the light First star to the right Taking care to stay on the path.
NEXT:
Life is but a dream, sha-boom, sha-boom
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Life is but a dream, sha-boom, sha-boom I sing and dance my way to doom Although my next life May see more strife The time 'til then is free from gloom.
NEXT: Sir Arthur Conan Doyle called from beyond the grave
(It's Death in Limericks Day!)
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle called from beyond the grave, Sherlock are you there you narcotic addicted knave? You left your tattered shroud When you visited my cloud To see if you could borrow a bowl of Burma shave.
NEXT:
My grandma spoke through the Ouija Board
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
My grandma spoke through the Ouija Board she said that grandpa still snored heaven's too Orwellian and hell's too Falwellian she says purgatory's your best reward
NEXT: I see dead people all day
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I see dead people all day It's not as bad as they say They're quiet not prone to riot And the mortuary is on the way.
NEXT:
Today I bought my cemetary plot
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Today I bought my cemetary plot Which is where I'll leave my body to rot While I fly free Into eternity And find the answers to all I have sought.
NEXT:
On her way to the gallows, Susan cried
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
On her way to the gallows, Susan cried People called her the killer bride (Spouse #5 No longer alive) Better to hang than to be fried.
NEXT: Enough of death, it's time for lunch
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
"Enough of death, it's time for lunch," declared the hangman on a hunch but the jars of food did his grip elude 'Til the guillotine let him munch
NEXT: I shall learn to sail the seas
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I shall learn to sail the seas and head to the Florida Keys a cool drink will go, I think, with the warm tropical breeze.
NEXT:
Alice took a cross country trip.
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Alice took a cross country trip To show her kids she was hip They thought her square So she took the dare Got on her Harely and let it rip.
Next:
She reached Wisconsin on a rainy day
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
She reached Wisconsin on a rainy day But she found people cheerful & gay wouldn't you know a big rainbow over the clear waters of Green Bay.
NEXT:
Alice then drove to the Southwest
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Alice then drove to the Southwest Where she enjoyed a chile fest She drank lots of beer Then that poor dear Had to lie down and take a rest.
NEXT:
Then into Texas on her Harley she rode
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Then into Texas on her Harley she rode Behind a big rig with a heavy load She gave birth in Fort Worth And that is why her legs are so bowed.
NEXT:
And so Alice's trip came to an end
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
And so Alice's trip came to an end In a town on Lake Huron, named Grand Bend She settled down With a circus clown, Who had just left his bearded lady friend.
NEXT:
Let's all go out and get so drunk
Posted by legionadventureman on :
Let's all go out and get so drunk Go to a bar and pick up a hunk Find a hairdresser Who was a transgresser And come out looking so punk
NEXT: Variety is the spice of life
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Variety is the spice of life So said P Diddy and Barney Fife there's no sense denying that time is a-flying Live a little and have no strife
NEXT: If I could fly among the stars
Posted by legionadventureman on :
If I could fly among the stars Travel to Jupiter or maybe Mars Id like to be As far as could be From a world where people's heads are in jars
NEXT: Who'd'a thought it?
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Who'd'a thought it? Kevin and Brit together one baby he's gay - maybe How many days til they split?
NEXT:
Shakespeare said "All the world is a stage"
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
"Shakespeare said 'All the world is a stage,'" Quislet noted, posting from his cage The Bard wrote the verse His troupe did rehearse Though his times were full of the phage
NEXT: The Bard lived a difficult life
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
The Bard lived a difficult life T'was full of woe and full of strife Yet when the gloom Did his heart entomb He sought solace in Anne, his wife.
NEXT:
Rosencrantz loved Guildenstern
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Rosencrantz loved Guildenstern It gave Hamlet little concern What mattered to him Was whether Ophelia could swim... Oops, maybe he'll give poor Horatio a turn.
NEXT:
The lady doth protest too much.
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
The lady doth protest too much Oft' times methinks it is her crutch She asks her nurse To fetch her purse So that she and I can go dutch.
NEXT:
Would he were wasted, marrow, bones and all
Posted by Viviane on :
Would he were wasted, marrow, bones and all And so it happens to many when the booze falls It flows into his glass He turns into an ass But for the sober he's quite a ball.
NEXT:
So many of men have come and laid
[ March 14, 2006, 01:26 PM: Message edited by: Viviane ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
So many men have come and laid down beside the milking maid. The bed of straw was the draw, for with her they never played.
NEXT:
It was a day like no other
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
It was a day like no other The day I met my twin brother He was drunk As a skunk A trait he got from our mother.
NEXT:
My brother was wearing something strange
Posted by High Priestess Viviane on :
My brother was wearing something strange Clothes and shoes beyond his range And now his ass sags Especially in drag That's why his fashion has to change.
NEXT:
She bends over to touch her toes
[ March 15, 2006, 11:37 PM: Message edited by: High Priestess Viviane ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
(Have we hooked Viviane into writing limericks?)
She bends over to touch her toes and causes a run in her hose up to her back showing her crack That's just the way everything goes.
NEXT:
Bob exercises to stay fit and trim
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Bob exercises to stay fit and trim He does his exercises at the gym In a pink leotard He borrowed from Bernard Heaven forbid he should look too prim.
NEXT
Showing butt crack is all the rage
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Showing butt crack is all the rage As long as you're not showing your age Or overly wide Or have much to hide Or if your name's Dick Armitrage.
NEXT: Summer fashions may leave me cold
Posted by legionadventureman on :
Summer fashions may leave me cold But others are so bold I best work out some time soon Or go crazy as a loon Wondering if my g-stringed butt is too old
NEXT: The world is not enough
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
The world is not enough I want more, he said with a huff Give me Mars Give me the stars So I'll have a place to store my stuff.
NEXT:
Auntie Mae baked forty pies
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Auntie May baked forty pies It only took forty tries She's not a good cook at least in my book at a bakery is where she buys
NEXT:
Slick Willie got caught in a jam
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Slick Willie got caught in a jam Sending Congressmen lots of spam His conduct abhorent Gave rise to a warrant And now Willie is on the lam.
NEXT:
Snow White and her troop of little men
Posted by Brainiac 5 on :
Snow White and her troop of little men Were walking through the forest and then, A grizzly attacked It bit and it hacked Now their corpses are stacked in its den.
NEXT: I can't believe Viv posted here...
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I can't believe Viv posted here... of her talents I had no idea beautiful and refined with intelligence combined Makes us glad that she was willing to share.
NEXT:
This praise caused Viviane to blush
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
This praise cause Viviane to blush All the blood to her face did rush Her knees went weak She felt so meek And in gratitude, she did gush.
NEXT:
Viviane came back to SHAKES
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Viviane came back to SHAKES Which isn't far from her lakes She ordered a drink A Martini, I think The kind only Semi best makes
NEXT: While at SHAKES Viviane did meet
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
While at SHAKES Viviane did meet A cute little pup whom she called Pete She took him home To her tower in Rome And fed him exotic ostrich meat.
NEXT:
I was just wondering if you might
Posted by Pizzazz on :
I was just wondering if you might Get off the ground, stand up and fight For a woman such as I You can take a black eye Or else your sex life will take a plight.
NEXT:
Come into my little house
Posted by legionadventureman on :
Come into my little house Say hello to my hairy spouse Pull up a chair And play truth or dare And dine on a little mouse
NEXT: Meeting new people is fun!
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Meeting new people is fun! Nothing better under the sun! We'll meet and we'll greet And then you're dead meat So says Atilla the Hun
NEXT: Something titmouse this way comes
Posted by legionadventureman on :
Something titmouse this way comes Hitting heads and banging drums Saw a mouse trap before it A Cheese log with trimmings afore it Now the titmouse is all thumbs
NEXT: LAM is such a hopeless case
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
LAM is such a hopeless case The doctor said with downcast face Just send the bill 'Fore he's too ill To pay, by Mammon's grace.
NEXT: You don't want to mess with the Limerick Clique
(P.S. I suggest that we henceforth disallow self-referential limericks. Is the Limerick Review Board in session?)
[ March 21, 2006, 02:11 AM: Message edited by: Fat Cramer ]
Posted by Lad Boy on :
You don't want to mess with the Limerick Clique or the Limerick sheik's sixth sheep that's sick or really bad bad Leroy Brown or disgusting Crusty the Clown for if you do, you'll get a swift kick.
NEXT: When I was a lad, boy was I eager
*Thumbs nose at the LRB*
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
When I was a lad, boy was I eager but my resources were very meager Now here's the switch I have gotten rich and now I am a major leaguer
NEXT: Thumbs nose at the Limerick Review Board
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Thumbs nose at the Limerick Review Board, You're no better than the mouse that roared. You've no power here I've nothing to fear Why you're nothing but a cheesy hoard.
(By the way, am I member of the Limerick Review Board?)
NEXT:
Little Miss Muffet was in for a shock
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Little Miss Muffet was in for a shock When she leaned over the engine block A lustful mechanic Behaved a bit manic And Muffet with elbow his ribs did sock.
NEXT: He was looking for love in all the wrong places
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
He was looking for love in all the wrong places, Concentrating only on beautiful faces The plain he ignored By acting quite bored And showing to all he had no social graces.
NEXT:
I met an elf in a wooded glen
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
I met an elf in a wooded glen She told me her name was Wren We danced with glee 'Neath the old tree But she'd not take me to her den
NEXT: I hired an out-of-work Dalek
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I hired an out-of-work Dalek to DJ a party in Quebec He did such a bad job that a huge lynch mob left the disco a horrible wreck
NEXT:
Up in the sky was a flying nun
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Up in the sky was a flying nun From the cops she was on the run Sister Bertrille Had learned to steal By blessing the rich with the butt of her gun.
NEXT:
Gidget and Moondoggie went to the beach
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Gidget and Moondoggie went to the beach But all the good waves were too far to reach So they sat on the rocks And knitted some socks Which wasn't much fun, but his own to each.
NEXT: They secretly met each evening at eight
Posted by minesurfer on :
They secretly met each evening at eight A tawdry affair to which many relate. But after they greet Their loins surely meet Such is the life of our dear lovely Kate.
Next:
A subtle young man in the shade...
Posted by Pizzazz on :
A subtle young man in the shade... Such a boring man I have ever seen made He was no hunk or Cupid More like just plain stupid Yet somehow the dork gets laid.
NEXT: Green hair is all the jazz
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Green hair is all the jazz and that is no razzmatazz a do so bold is like gold So sayeth Pizzazz.
NEXT:
A Southern belle from Savannah
Posted by minesurfer on :
A Southern belle from Savannah Wearing only a bright red bandana Was waiting alone For her boyfriend to phone Or show up with his ripened banana.
Next:
Another Belle with appeal...
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Another Belle with appeal her glee could not conceal No gripes about bananas ripe Boy did she love to squeal.
NEXT:
Belle had a cat fight with Kate
Posted by legionadventureman on :
Belle had a cat fight with Kate Over a dispute they hate Someone had trifled With affections stifled And now poor Kate is late
NEXT: Showdown in the ladies room
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
Showdown in the ladies room The screeching caused a sonic boom The maid of honor Was a goner 'Cause she'd dared to kiss the groom.
NEXT:
Flowers bloom and birdies sing
Posted by legionadventureman on :
Flowers bloom and birdies sing Because here's the thing Never cheat, never lie Respect your fellows, why? Cause nobody in this world is king
NEXT: Big hugs are the norm
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Big hugs are the norm They keep you nice and warm To add to the bliss Give her a kiss So she'll take you home to her dorm
NEXT: Wear nothing but a smile!
Posted by legionadventureman on :
Wear nothing but a smile Stay put for a while You can't go wrong If you wear a black thong And prove to be quite agile
NEXT: Happy days are here again
Posted by Brainiac 5 on :
Happy days are here again Please allow me to explain Instead of "ma-ma" My baby said "da-da" I'm so proud of cute little Rahne.
Next:
A streetwalking girl named Janelle...
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
A streetwalking girl named Janelle Had a talent oh so swell She could hang upside down From a lamppost in town And still service her johns quite well.
NEXT:
My mother is truly a lady
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
My mother is truly a lady She'd never do anything shady She likes single malt And hasn't a fault And she's much classier than Mom Brady.
NEXT: The ice hockey team from Waikiki
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
The ice hockey team from Waikiki Was really rather quite sneaky They couldn't skate So they used naked Kate To distract by ice-dancing freaky.
NEXT:
A beauty queen from Algonquin
(Rhymes with "shin")
[ March 27, 2006, 06:43 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
A beauty queen from Algonquin Was trying to shout above the din To order a jar In a Sudbury bar She feared she had become a has-been.
NEXT: A girl and a duck and a moose
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
A girl and a duck and a moose Rode the rails in a caboose In one maneuver They came to Vancouver Where they took in a Canada goose
NEXT: You ought to go to Ottawa
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
You ought to go to Ottawa Or to Niagara for the Shaw Or Grand Bend for the beach Ontario's within your reach And while you're there, go see my ma.
NEXT:
I grew up on a Great Lake
Posted by legionadventureman on :
You ought to go to Ottawa Where the weather is not quite hottewer Scream if you heard this But not all is bliss Riding the back of an otter - wha?
NEXT: Let's all go for a swim
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I grew up on a Great Lake Upon the beach we would make sand castles gigantic Mom would get frantic and yell at my brother Jake.
Let's all go for a swim to stay fit and trim diet & exercise stay away from fries And you'll be known as "Slim"
NEXT: What did Alice see in the bedroom?
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
What did Alice see in the bedroom, Peering out at her from the gloom? Was it a ghoul Dripping with drool Arisen from hell to seal her doom?
NEXT,
Not a ghoul, she was relieved to find
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Not a ghoul, she was relieved to find just a mouse, but one that's blind a little squeak so don't freak a little cheese would be so kind
NEXT:
From the parlor walked the lazy cat
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
From the parlor walked the lazy cat Oh so slowly 'cause she was so fat From eating field mice Over warm fried rice And once in a while a large juicy rat.
NEXT:
The dog looked at the cat with disdain
[ March 29, 2006, 06:25 PM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by legionadventureman on :
The dog looked at the cat with disdain His canine feelings were plain Because the cat forgot That you never squat While the plumber was fixing the drain
NEXT: When will the malt shop open?
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
When will the malt shop open? pretty soon is what I'm hopin' I'm having tics for my chocolate fix and not having any luck copin'
NEXT: The old spinster went to the beach
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
The old spinster went to the beach Wearing a muu-muu colored pale peach The sand was too hot So she lay on her cot Hoping the sun would her hair bleach.
NEXT:
While at the beach, she went for a swim
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
While at the beach, she went for a swim Hoping she could forget about him Then she lay in the sand But felt too un-manned She took out her cell phone and called on a whim.
NEXT: The waves were wild and foaming that day
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
The waves were wild and foaming that day Bad for swimming is what they say with a cheery grin off she went in And got pulled out of San Francisco bay.
NEXT:
They gave her a burial at sea
Posted by Lad Boy on :
They gave her a burial at sea At least that's what they told me They stood in a hush Then heard the big flush as she went out like a dead guppy.
NEXT: I'm re-reading my funeral plan.
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
I'm re-reading my funeral plan It's going to take place in Milan Men with white gloves Will release doves To guide my soul to the next age of man.
NEXT:
When I arrive at the pearly gates
Posted by legionadventureman on :
When I arrive at the pearly gates I hope to be reunited with my mates We will hold a big party So We drink hearty and forget about bringing dates
NEXT: Just wait till equal opportunity finds out!
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Just wait til equal opportunity finds out! I'm certain they'll cause a big shout! But once they get tarty We'll invite them to party And I'll serve up some premium stout
NEXT: St. Peter stopped by for a pint
Posted by legionadventureman on :
St. Peter stopped by for a pint Hoping to save a mint (sorry...couldnt rhyme) He took up a collection Which was, by reflection Enough to send everyone skint
NEXT: It's only a website, by gosh
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
It's only a website, by gosh But I like to come here and nosh On cookies that crunch And yak with a bunch Of lunatics, senior and frosh.
NEXT: It's "Go To Work If You Love It Day"
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
It's "Go To Work If You Love It Day" The work's boring, but I like the pay. My co-workers are rude The boss is stewed In my cubicle is where I'll stay.
NEXT: I'm really not pessimistic at all
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
I'm really not pessimistic at all Which could be because of the quite nasty fall I had on my head Now I'm feeling no dread And I'm running my credit cards up at the mall.
NEXT: Chocolate is better than ice cream, he said
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
Chocolate is better than ice cream, he said. There's no way to choose cold stuff instead. When after a date With your lovely mate You're whispering sweet nothings in bed.
Next: There once was a guy from west Texas.
Posted by CJ Taylor on :
There once was a guy from west Texas, With a warped idea of justice. He started a war, His people, ignored. And now we all boo his ass.
Next: Started with friends out on the town
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Started with friends out on the town But saw something that just got me down At a trendy dive did arrive My ex on the arm of some clown.
NEXT:
Violet did a dance of spring
Posted by CJ Taylor on :
Violet did a dance of Spring, She got the season in full swing. It's the season of the bunny, So come on honey, Celebrate my Ding-a-ling!
Next: (for you Snoopy fans)
It was a dark and stormy night
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
It was a dark and stormy night to me, that was all right Whilst others did feign I danced in the rain on the lovely Isle of Wight
Next: you ought to see the doctor
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
you ought to see the doctor who developed a shock cure For the test you may rest Assured that there will be a proctor.
NEXT:
Adam graded the students' tests
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Adam graded the students' tests Failed the ones with family crests C's for redheads D's for deadheads Ruined the school's chance for bequests.
NEXT: He went for a dip in the Lazarus Pit
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
He went for a dip in the Lazarus Pit Thought it was a hot tub with a place to sit Then with a smirk He went berserk And with a sword, Ra's skull he did split.
NEXT:
Talia was left alone to mourn
Posted by Mekanix on :
Talia was left alone to mourn After her baby boy was born Her beloved hadn't come (He was a bit of a bum) So she settled for being forlorn
Next: The grass was a bit greener
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
The grass was a bit greener The air a little bit cleaner To tell the truth these memories of youth are criminal - maybe a misdemeanor.
NEXT:
Is it time to say a sweet good night?
Posted by walkwithcrowds on :
Is it time to say a sweet goodnight? But we're having such fun, it doesn't seem right. Won't you stay a bit longer? Have a drink, sing a song dear And we'll party till the first morning light.
Next:
I really don't like sauce on my chips
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I really don't like sauce on my chips. In fact, I just don't care for dips. I just have to say There's a much better way To make use of my tongue and my lips.
NEXT: I'm visiting western Miami.
Posted by walkwithcrowds on :
I'm visiting western Miami. I have an aunt there who does origami. She'll bend and she'll twist anything in her grip, It can bring tears to your eyes let me tell you.
NEXT:
The weather today is just fine.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Nice poem WWC, but it is not a limerick.
Limericks are 5 lines and the rhyming scheme is AABBA. And usually lines 3&4 are of shorter length than 1,2,&5.
The weather today is just fine. Clear blue skies with bright sunshine A grassy field will yield a picnic spot upon which to dine.
NEXT:
They are dancing in the streets
Posted by walkwithcrowds on :
Okay, got you, no problem, let me think.....
Ehm...Okay:
They are dancing in the streets, Cause they're giving out free sweets Chocs and toffees to swallow, Cola Cubes and Marshmallows Oh we love those tasty treats
NEXT:
I missed my bus today,
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
I missed my bus today, So I rode in on a sleigh. Pulled by a horse, Just one, of course. And we jingled all the way.
Next: I had trouble with my umbrella
Posted by High Priestess Viviane on :
I had trouble with my umbrella Which pissed off this bella Because I was running from Stanley A chap that is very manly And for some reason kept yelling, "Stella!"
Next: Why, of course he was hard
[ May 06, 2006, 11:17 AM: Message edited by: High Priestess Viviane ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Darn, Viviane did beat me to the umbrella limerick
Why, of course he was hard and went by the name of Bernard From a planet where all are granite and like things that are avant-garde.
NEXT: The little old lady from Pasadena
Posted by walkwithcrowds on :
The little old lady from Pasadena Wanted to be a lion tamer She stepped into the cage Feeling terriblly brave And was never seen ever again..Aah!
(Okay, even I admit that was bad)
NEXT: I never eat fish on a Monday
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I never eat fish on a Monday But always eat hot fudge sundaes I'm making a stop at the Ice Cream Shoppe and impress them with my Hyundai.
NEXT:
A puppy who chased his own tail
Posted by walkwithcrowds on :
A puppy who chased his own tail To catch it, he miserably did fail He got tired and sat on the track Got hit by a train in the back And got carried back home in a pail.
NEXT:
My granny has lost her new dentures
[ May 10, 2006, 02:19 PM: Message edited by: walkwithcrowds ]
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
My granny has lost her new dentures Invested in sinking debentures She's learned how to dance And is selling the manse She's off on some wild adventures.
NEXT: He lived in a house with a gator named Fred
Posted by walkwithcrowds on :
He lived in a house with a gator named Fred And he was terribly well read He read poems by Keats He'd read Shakespeare for weeks Till one day Fred went and bit off his head.
NEXT:He was a teacher named Adolphus McQuinn
Posted by minesurfer on :
He was a teacher named Adolphus McQuinn. If I only knew where to begin. His lessons were pallid Like twelve day old salad At the bottom of a slimy trash bin.
Next:
A student named Trevor McGee
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
A student named Trevor McGee entered the school spelling bee. All was going well, easy words to spell, til he got the word "bourgeoisie".
NEXT:
The winner was little Molly Jones
Posted by minesurfer on :
The winner was little Molly Jones. The judge's mouth was filled with three scones. When he said "bourgeoisie" She spelled "burgercheese" And claimed they were homophones.
NEXT:
A dejected young fella named Trevor...
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
A dejected young fella named Trevor Embarked on a different endeavor. With words very quick, he composed a limerick. Now all the girls think he is too clever.
NEXT:
Saturday night Trevor had a hot date.
Posted by walkwithcrowds on :
Saturday night Trevor had a hot date He took her dancing things were going great But the whole crowd gave a cheer When he slipped on a puddle of beer Then his date laughed and went home with his mate
NEXT:
Sunday morning Trevor didn't feel so good
Posted by minesurfer on :
Sunday morning Trevor did not feel so good. No one really believed that he should. After sleeping face down In a woolen night gown Propped only by his morning wood.
Next:
A man walking alone in a garden...
Posted by walkwithcrowds on :
A man walked alone in a garden He turned around when somebody said pardon And stood standing there Was a girl, almost bare All that she had was a hat on.
NEXT:
I have an incontinent puppy named Sid
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I have an incontinent puppy named Sid About something like this I never would kid An adorable guy But how I did cry When upon one of his presents I slid.
NEXT:
There was a funny guy named Edward Lear
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
There was a funny guy named Edward Lear Who wrote some funny limericks in the year Of 1846 And put us in this fix Of seeking rhymes that will not make folks jeer.
NEXT: A limerick a day, the doctors advise
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
A limerick a day, the doctors advise. Makes one happy, wealthy and wise. So write one now I'll show you how Use this template and take a few tries.
Next: Writing limericks is too much fun
Posted by walkwithcrowds on :
Writing limericks is too much fun It can be enjoyed by everyone If they just take the time to think up a rhyme then they'll see how easy it's done.
NEXT:I've just seen this really great film
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
I've just seen this really great film Twas about the Kaiser Wilhelm Dubbed over from German My date, she was squirmin She'd have rather seen Fred, Barney and Wilm'
NEXT: I really need more exercize
Posted by walkwithcrowds on :
I really need more exercize For I'm starting to blow up in size But I love ice cream Mixed with jelly beans On top of the custard on my apple pie.
NEXT:BOY! That lady could dance!
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
Boy! That lady could dance! All because of the ants, who, earlier that day, had found their way Into (and stayed in) her pants.
Next: I need to buy a new shirt
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I need to buy a new shirt to wear on my date with Burt Unless I'm wrong, I won't need it for long And if I do, I'll be a bit hurt.
Next: Today I feel hebetudinous.
Posted by Vee on :
Today I feel hebetudinous To be so disposed can be ruinous A quickness of mind Helps complete the day's grind And leads to a life that's fortuitous
NEXT:
While strolling the streets of Sevilla
Posted by walkwithcrowds on :
While strolling in the streets of Sevilla I met a confused gorilla He seemed to be in shock And he was wearing a frock And carrying a frilly pink ladies umbrella
NEXT:
The guy next door to me has bought a new car
Posted by CJ Taylor on :
The guy next door to me has bought a new car Why, he doesn't drive far? His name is Quislet, He is the shizznet. And now my name he will mar.
Next:
Hiking in the mountains, a mile high
Posted by Vee on :
Hiking in the mountains, a mile high I suddenly thought I saw Popeye! Confused to be sure I reached for a cure A devoured a slice of Key Lime Pie!
NEXT: A work week sure can be mundane
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
A work week sure can be mundane This 9-to-5 will be the bane Of my poor life This place is rife With dull routine. Drives me insane.
NEXT: I voted for the leader of our clan
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I voted for the leader of our clan She had a positive fiscal plan Although she waxes about raising taxes It's only for those living in Japan.
NEXT:
The debates raged all through the night
Posted by Vee on :
The debates raged all through the night With each side insisting they're right 'bout which one would last longer and who's case was the stronger But concluded at dawn's early light.
NEXT:
My modem is really the pits
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
My modem is really the pits. It misses more than it hits. So I did upgrade To one for which I paid More dough than a night at the Ritz.
Next: We shared a carafe of red wine
[ July 03, 2006, 07:27 PM: Message edited by: Rockhopper Lad ]
Posted by Vee on :
We shared a carafe of wine Crushed from grapes fresh from the vine But I won't soon forget How the red stain did set In my pants made of linen so fine.
NEXT:
Some wine, a kiss, then to bed
Posted by Ravenette84 on :
Some wine, a kiss, then to bed in first my legs, then my head bed spins of doom how I wish the room wouldn't zoom my mouth tastes like lead, I wish I were dead!
NEXT:
the large white phone rings
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
The large white phone rings Into the speaker, Raven sings A cheery "hello" but alas oh no It's a chap selling somethings.
NEXT:
The long bridge was very high
Posted by Everyday Girl on :
The long bridge was very high I could almost touch the sky and it's true It's really blue With clouds like chiffon pie.
NEXT:
The LW gang in San Diego
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
The LW gang in San Diego piled into a Winnebago for a trip with a dip to Trinidad and Tobago.
NEXT:
I went for a spin in a Time Bubble
Posted by CJ Taylor on :
I went for a spin in a Time Bubble a short trip, looking for trouble paradoxes made me think now I need a drink hell, make it a double.
Next:
It's been a wild summer
Posted by Vee on :
It's been a wild summer Almost bought me a Hummer Yet, alas once again It has come to an end Now isn't that truly a bummer?
NEXT:
Vacations are always too short
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Vacations are always too short suddenly you're at the last port you fly out of Rome heading for home often seated next to a Voldemort
NEXT: My airline was quite Satanic
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
My airline was quite Satanic. The flight crew ran around in a panic. From what I surmise, It's quite a surprise The plane didn't crash in the Atlantic.
Next: A Deputy Leader named Kent
Posted by Vee on :
A Deputy Leader named Kent Almost forgot to pay rent On the Admin's HQ But save the boo hoo 'cause from Vegas it was promptly sent.
NEXT:
2008 is the 50th
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
2008 is the 50th thought some might say we're the shiftyeth From Botany Bay to London Quay the gathering will be the niftyeth
NEXT: 50th isn't easy to rhyme
Posted by Lad Boy on :
50th isn't easy to rhyme, Vee, you unconscionable slime. If I had my way, Kent'd make you pay For making him waste so much time.
NEXT: I seem to have much staphylococcus.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
I seem to have much staphylococcus. I feel worse than a night in Secaucus. But come high water or hell, I know I'll be well By the time of the next Iowa caucus.
Next: Rhyming medical terms is quite tough.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Rhyming medical terms is quite tough. But Rockhopper Lad is up to snuff Given enough time He'll find a rhyme Just don't call me on my bluff.
NEXT:
There once was a girl named Synde
Posted by Lad Boy on :
There once was a girl named Synde Who guest-starred on Mork and Mynde Then she traveled quite far to appear on E.R. Caused she liked the city that's wynde.
NEXT:
If chocolate were better than sex,
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
If chocolate were better than sex, I wouldn't so much miss my ex good-bye my Kelly hello Ghiradelli my freedom would not be a vex
NEXT:
If water tasted like wine
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
If water tasted like wine, Even if it were brine, Then I'd take a notion To swallow an ocean, Then to Europe to drink up the Rhine.
Next: We went for a dance on a cloud
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
We went for a dance on a cloud The audience was very much wowed the two of us were sweet until he stepped on my feet And I swore a blue streak out loud.
NEXT:
Do people still like this thread?
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Do people still like this thread? Or would they prefer to write sonnets instead? Or maybe Haiku would be right for you -- Perhaps Legion World poetry's dead?
NEXT: Is that your tongue in my ear?
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Is that your tongue in my ear? on that point I wasn't clear. It is risky to make me so frisky Because you'll get what's coming, my dear.
NEXT:
Who knew that I could be such a flirt?
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Who knew that I could be such a flirt? I make a move on each skirt but it's all in good fun enjoyed by each one and no one ever gets hurt
NEXT: Twas a dark and stormy night
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Twas a dark and stormy night and I was in a fright. the power went out just as I was about to download some pictoral delight.
NEXT: "Try again Doc." is what he said
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
"Try again Doc." is what he said struggling to sit up in bed the sadist made riches with needles and stitches but his patient wished he was dead
NEXT: Eastern medicine cured my pancreas
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
Eastern medicine cured my pancreas. My physician then was the angriest. He said "It won't work!" But then, he's a jerk. With a personality not at all sanguinous.
[I always get those humours mixed up ] Next: I broke my cereal bowl.
[ August 26, 2006, 12:43 AM: Message edited by: Rockhopper Lad ]
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
I broke my cereal bowl Twas anger, heart and soul The Snap, Crackle, Pop decided to stop and disappointment took its toll
NEXT: I never danced at the White House
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
I never danced at the White House. I went to a ball there with my spouse, But before we could waltz, They had to fetch smelling salts. I fainted when I saw a white mouse.
Next: The next time I went to dance
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
The next time I went to dance I left nothing to chance A new haircut to help me strut and secure a fine romance.
NEXT:
A handsome man knocked on my front door
Posted by minesurfer on :
A man knocked on my front door. It was quite an incredible chore. You wonder how did he knock? Dressed in only one sock, He used his Johnson that hung to the floor.
Next:
Sometimes I lack proper prose...
Posted by minesurfer on :
Well almost two days later and no other limericks... so I guess I'll answer my own.
Sometimes I lack proper prose. But when writing its, "Anything goes!" So I try to be bawdy, And exceedingly naughty. And make sure someone's lacking their clothes.
Next:
A young priest from south Walla Walla
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
A young priest from south Walla Walla meet a sweet pretty girl named Paula he was surprized that he got a rise So for her he gave up his collar.
Next:
Little Joey went upstairs to bed
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Little Joey went upstairs to bed "But it's still so early," he said When he laid his head down In dreams he did drown Asleep with more peace than the dead
Next:
We're no longer safe in a bowling alley
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
We're no longer safe in a bowling alley, For the pins have started to rally. Bowling balls are at arms And they're immune to the charms Of the woman who works there named Sally.
Next: I think that it's time for my nap
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I think that it's time for my nap So please excuse me old chap Up all night is a delight But my batteries need a zap.
NEXT:
The newest member of Legion World said
Posted by minesurfer on :
The newest member of Legion World said, "I come without fear or dread. Yet, I have the odd name Of 'AmoryBliane' But its better than 'SmellyGoatHead'."
Next:
A young lass was in the park reading...
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
A young lass was in the park reading Exemplary life she was leading Until a young cad Convinced her the fad Was to live it up, conscience not heeding.
NEXT: She drove in a red Cadillac
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
She drove in a red Cadillac All the way to Tadoussac With wine and brie and joie de vie Living more F. Scott than Balzac
NEXT: She chanced upon an old friend
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
She chanced upon an old friend A broken fence they had to mend An apology about biology and who came first in the end.
NEXT:
Sheila loved her cabin at the lake
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Sheila loved her cabin at the lake She shared it with Elmo the snake A python was he Mouse-eating with glee Till he choked to death on a rake
NEXT: The cabin was modern yet rustic
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
The cabin was modern yet rustic Located in northern Ahuntsic Remote and well-treed She could do as she pleased But she spent all her time writing fan-fic.
NEXT: The days were warm but the nights were cold
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
The days were warm but the nights were cold The moon was new, but the love was old The trees were barely green I'm sure you get the scene But the actual story remains to be told
NEXT: Once upon a time
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Once upon a time He liked to order lime and tonic at Sonic It only cost a dime.
NEXT: Three men were rowing up the Mississippi
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Three men were rowing up the Mississippi Two college professors and a hippie The boat overturned And so they learned Not to argue about the battle of philippi.
NEXT:
Agatha took a trip to Japan
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Agatha took a trip to Japan She hoped for some Asian elan Instead she got whacky and drank too much sake Next year she'll go to Milan
NEXT: Why did Nancy run for parliament?
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
Why did Nancy run for parliament? Is politics truly her element In a land of many voices And many more choices Than just a donkey or elephant?
Next: Those shoes are too cha-cha for words.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Those shoes are too cha-cha for words. Those feathers too pretty for birds With rhymes so sublime This thread is too something for nerds.
NEXT:
Mark went to his local gay bar
Posted by walkwithcrowds on :
Mark went to his local gay bar In trousers that were too tight by far, He got up on the floor danced 'till he was sore And had to be took home in a car.
NEXT:
Mark woke the next day with bad chafing
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Mark woke the next day with bad chafing Hearing the sounds of a jet fighter strafing The war zone's a bitch But so was the itch So he drank like a Mex 5th of May thing
NEXT: Mark asked, "How'd I wake up in Chiapas?"
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Mark asked, "How'd I wake up in Chiapas?" Last I knew I was eating some tapas With a commandante And drinking spumante Then he said that I was a jackass.
NEXT: Mark made his way slowly to Chile
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Mark made his way slowly to Chile He left from Perth by way of Philly His boat went aground near Puget Sound I do not think he'll make it, will he?
NEXT:
Mark settled down in New York City
Posted by He Who Wanders on :
Mark settled down in New York City, Where the girls and the guys were pretty, He went to a dance, Got caught in a trance. Now he's torn between Karl and Kitty.
NEXT:
Mark was about to propose
Posted by CJ Taylor on :
Mark was about to propose, To whom, nobody knows. But it's for certain, Said person is behind the curtain, And soon we'll see whom he chose.
NEXT:
Who the heck is Mark?
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Who the heck is Mark? A fellow out for a lark A different name would work the same Should we try it? - Snark!
NEXT:
James went to his local gay bar
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
James went to his local gay bar Outside was a handsome sports car With a hunk On the trunk Who offered him a Mallomar.
NEXT: James stopped and wondered what he should say
Posted by He Who Wanders on :
James stopped and wondered what he should say Because he didn't like chocolate, anyway. If it had been cherry He would have been merry And wouldn't have to send the hunk on his way.
NEXT:
James met Mark in the Big Apple
Posted by walkwithcrowds on :
James met Mark in the Big Apple And asked him if he wanted to grapple Mark said, its a pitty That I'm engaged to Kitty Or I would love to give it a tackle
NEXT:
James was very downhearted
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
James was very downhearted for a romance not started He made his way to Old Cathay to explore places uncharted.
NEXT:
Mark had second thoughts about James
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Mark had second thoughts about James Though Kitty did have prior claims He called him up Went our for sup Thereafter Mark ignored the dames.
NEXT: Kitty sat at home and cried
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Kitty sat at home and cried. Mark's no longer by her side Then she went on a date With a great gal name . . . . Kate! now she holds her head high with pride.
NEXT: Mark and James met Matthew and Luke
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Mark and James met Matthew and Luke at a bar in downtown Dubuque they'd become a hot foursome It seemed a serendipitous fluke.
NEXT:
John felt left out and wrote a book
Posted by He Who Wanders on :
John felt left out and wrote a book, Then invited Peter to take a look. Peter told Jude Who thought it rude That John failed to mention Habakkuk.
NEXT:
John's book was featured on "Oprah"
[ October 22, 2006, 10:37 PM: Message edited by: He Who Wanders ]
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
John's book was featured on "Oprah" When asked to read, he said "Nope, nah!" With a cough He was off Up next a world famous soap star.
NEXT:
George was all alone in the house
Posted by walkwithcrowds on :
George was alone in the house Away at her work was his spouse So he lit a cigar Jumped in the car And ran off with his neighbour, the louse!
NEXT:
When his wife found out what he'd done
Posted by Lad Boy on :
When his wife found out what he'd done She said, "I hope that he's having fun. While he's out bed-hopping, I must do some shopping for trash bags, duct tape and a gun."
Next:
While shopping for guns at Wal-Mart,
Posted by CJ Taylor on :
While shopping for guns at Wal-Mart, I felt in me a change of heart. Oh, I'll still kill him, Carl, the slimy villain. By running him over with a shopping cart.
Next:
Twas the day after Halloween,
Posted by He Who Wanders on :
'Twas the day after Halloween When Marge decided to make her scene. She took Carl unaware In her shopping cart snare, Then drowned him in Listerine.
NEXT:
Marge is now doing thirty to life
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Marge is now doing thirty to life But blamed it all on overwhelming strife Good self control will get her parole And then she will be an outstanding wife.
NEXT:
Our dear old Pov has come back
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Our dear old Pov has come back For a long time we felt the lack Of all his posting, Lack of boasting, Lack of pants (he wears a mack).
NEXT: Pov drove to a truck stop near Hartford
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Pov drove to a truck stop near Hartford Meeting Cobie for some smart word They gossiped 'bout STU, Lardy and Whordru Or that's what Dave the old fart heard
NEXT: Where did year 2006 go?
Posted by walkwithcrowds on :
Where did year 2006 go? Oh, I really wish I did know It seems like only last week sir That it was just Easter Now Santa will soon go "Ho Ho Ho!"
NEXT: I was surfing the web last night
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I was surfing the web last night when much to my surprized delight I flipped my lid because my low bid Got me a Wonder Woman night light.
NEXT:
A grown man afraid of the dark
Posted by He Who Wanders on :
A grown man afraid of the dark Ran naked in Central Park. In broad daylight All could see his delight; They call him the Central Park Shark!
NEXT:
The Central Park Shark met Santa Claus
Posted by walkwithcrowds on :
The Central Park Shark met Santa Claus And Santa gave him a round of applause He said "It was so funny the other week When you did that daylight streak I laughed so hard I almost peed in my drawers!"
Next: Santa bought some incontinence pants
Posted by Vee on :
Santa bought some incontinence pants And an all glass farm full of ants To the old fart named Ted Who now stays in his bed Boistrously filling the house with his rants.
NEXT:
Those industrious ants in the farm
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Those industrious ants in the farm Should raise no cause for alarm they tunnel and build as mo' nature willed contained, nary a picnic they harm
Next:
Along came an ant named Bixby
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Along came an ant named Bixby He thought that perhaps six 'd be Enough for the job Of turning the knob To escape from the farm and free to be.
NEXT: The ants were met by Belinda the Cat
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
The ants were met by Belinda the Cat Who just sat and sat and sat and sat after a yawn found they were gone just when she was ready for combat.
Next: Tired now, Belinda went to sleep
Posted by CJ Taylor on :
Tired now, Bleinda went to sleep Her eyes open, she could not keep. After all, she was a cat Her owner, he knew that Joining her, he curled up at her feet.
Next:
Vicious and sweet, Belinda looked perfect.
Posted by Vee on :
Vicious and sweet, Belinda looked perfect What she intended no one could expect When her owner retired She did as desired And the mischeivious mouse did collect.
NEXT:
Belinda and mouse had much fun
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Belinda and mouse had much fun The raid on the cupboards begun They ate peanut butter And some Fluffernutter The mouse said, "I'm too full to run."
NEXT: Belinda gazed at the small mouse
Posted by Vee on :
Belinda gazed at the mouse "What a grand, well-supplied house! To provide for my sport One with whom to cavort. All I'm missing now is a spouse!"
NEXT:
Belinda brought Quislet Esq. a gift
Posted by CJ Taylor on :
Belinda brought Quis Esq a gift, He took one look and threw a fit. A tasty treat she laid at his feet, One bloody mouse, nice and neat, His angry reaction made her miffed.
Next:
Belinda slept in the sunny spot
Posted by Vee on :
Belinda slept in a sunny spot But awoke from her slumber in a shot When in came the rain From the wide open pane And moistened her nose with a small, wet dot.
NEXT:
"Who dares to disturb my delicious repose?"
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
"Who dares to disturb my delicious repose? One without fear or a fool, I suppose." After a quick leap she went back to sleep But her claws, Belinda left fully exposed.
Next:
Out in the woods, played a boy and his dog.
Posted by Vee on :
Out in the woods, played a boy with his dog. Chasing tossed sticks and jumping a log. Suddenly in a field Echoed quite a squeal Starting a chase between boy, dog and hog.
NEXT:
Belinda watched the chase, totally enthralled
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Belinda watched the chase, totally enthralled Then she answered the lure of a string that called With it she'd play throughout the day At night, so tired, into her bed she crawled.
Next:
Betty started shopping on Christmas Eve
Posted by CJ Taylor on :
Betty started shopping on Christmas Eve, A way through the crowds she did cleave. Thinking only of friends, Her shopping wouldn't end, Until she bumped into a guy named Steve.
Next:
Our gang celebrated the year's end
Posted by He Who Wanders on :
Our gang celebrated the year's end And season's greetings did send. To all, we raised a glass And some did say Mass: "May 2007 be to thee a friend."
Next:
Steve bought Betty a drink
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Steve bought Betty a drink She didn't know what to think He was wearing a scarf That was spotted with barf And kept saying his boss was a fink.
NEXT: Betty told Steve that he needed some sleep
Posted by He Who Wanders on :
Betty told Steve he needed some sleep. He said, "Now, don't think me a creep, But if I can't spend The night with a friend, I'd sooner sleep in my Jeep."
NEXT:
Steve waited for Betty's reply
Posted by Vee on :
Steve waited for Betty's reply Broad grinning, he gave it a try "Let's get in the Jeep, And later we'll sleep." But Betty just fled and yelled "Bye"
NEXT:
Betty asked, "What is it with guys?"
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
Betty asked, "What is it with guys?" "Their 'tude, and their lines, and their lies?" "They all act the same, Like the whole thing's a game, But at least that makes me the prize."
NEXT:
Steve thought, "What can I do?"
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Steve thought, "What can I do?" Dial 418-0362 "Hello there, Kate. Let's go on a date." Off to Kate's house Steve flew.
NEXT: Betty stood by in startled confusion.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Betty stood by in startled confusion Left alone with her sad delusion A romp in a jeep With Steve, though a creep, Might have been the night's better conclusion.
NEXT: Kate opened the door when Steve came to call
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Kate opened the door when Steve came to call He was surprized that she wore nothing at all He said with a grin "Can I come on in?" Kate took a peek and said "Nope, you're too small"
NEXT: Downhearted Steve went to a bar.
Posted by Awww,Lyle on :
Downhearted Steve went to a bar said he " I did not get very far" for the problem with Kate on this truncated date was that size was the issue at large
NEXT: Steve ordered himself a drink
[ January 06, 2007, 03:35 AM: Message edited by: Awww,Lyle ]
Posted by CJ Taylor on :
Steve ordered himself a drink His sorrows, he looked to sink So much shame And he wasn't to blame He can't control the size of his dink
NEXT: Steve's night didn't end
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Steve's night didn't end why just around the bend was Ann a fan of Steve's and a friend.
NEXT:
Gigglebot Girl gave Faraway Lad the flu
Posted by Vee on :
Gigglebot gave Faraway Lad the flu Because, quite frankly, she had it bad too So when lavishing kisses As his new Mrs. She insured that they both felt quite blue
NEXT:
Don't blame Gigi, dear Faraway Lad
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Don't blame Gigi, dear Faraway Lad If she made you sick she would truly be sad In this winter season A person of reason Will know flu's from anyone easily had.
NEXT: Kate caught the flu and remained in her bed
Posted by Ram Boy on :
Kate caught the flu and remained in her bed of her illness it should be said that she didn't feel blue and neither would you once the NyQuil had gone to your head.
NEXT: Kate gets up and heads out the door
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Kate gets up and heads out the door In her quest for something more She brings Ted Back to bed Even sick, Kate knows how to score.
Next:
Ted catches the flu from saucy Kate
Posted by Vee on :
Ted catches the flu from saucy Kate Then decided she didn't quite rate A follow up call Though they did have a ball But old Kate rated only one date.
NEXT:
Ted then met pretty Betty at church
Posted by Ram Boy on :
Ted met pretty Betty at church after leaving ole Kate in the lurch and then during the mass Ted made his pass saying "Baby!I'm as big as a birch!"
NEXT:
Oh my, how Pretty Betty did blush
Posted by He Who Wanders on :
Oh my, how Pretty Betty did blush! No one had ever given her such a rush; That it was said Before "Take This Bread" Was all the more reason for her crush.
NEXT:
Pretty Betty went straight to Confession
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Pretty Betty went straight to Confession And told of her growing obsession with going to bed with birch-big Ted and webcasting the whole tawdry session.
NEXT: Betty's priest unpacked his new Dell.
Posted by minesurfer on :
Betty's priest unpacked his new Dell. In no time his hard drive did swell. For there on the screen Was something obscene. Betty on Teddy and Katie as well.
NEXT:
A modest priest stood at pulpit
Posted by He Who Wanders on :
A modest priest stood at pulpit And sent a message to the culprit: "This kind of sin Will do you in. It paves the road to the hellpit!"
NEXT:
And the congregation said, "Amen!"
Posted by Ram Boy on :
And the congregation said, "Amen!" which closed the service that's when the priest did ahead back to his bed where waiting was a guy named Ken.
NEXT:
Betty did now see the light
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Betty did now see the light She looked to her left and right up & down all around But it is Betty who's the sight.
NEXT:
The old maid vacationed in Miami.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
The old maid vacationed in Miami And ate sandwiches of salami She sat by the pool And tried to look cool But her turtleneck made her feel clammy.
NEXT: The old maid ordered some liquor
Posted by Ram Boy on :
The old maid ordered some liquor to quench her thirst all the quicker, when out from the pool, jumped a guy named Raul in a speedo which about stopped her ticker.
NEXT: Said Raul to the Old Maid.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Said Raul to the Old Maid Of me, be not afraid. if you presume to come to my room I'll give you some lemonade.
Next:
The old maid beheld a wonderful sight
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Special 10,000th post limerick
Quislet, Esq. reached 10,000 posts Such a feat only a few could boast it naturally led to a swelled head Megalomania was the diagnose!
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
And now back to our regularly scheduled limerick.
Next:
The old maid beheld a wonderful sight
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
The old maid beheld a wonderful sight She dreamed of herself and Raul in the light Of a tropical moon But all too soon From the lemonade she got high as a kite.
NEXT: Raul was surprised by the old maid's singing
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
Raul was surprised by the old maid's singing Which to his refined senses were stinging He wanted romance But now there's no chance Because his ears just cannot stop ringing.
NEXT: The old maid waited for a sign
Posted by Ram Boy on :
The old maid waited for a sign just maybe the stars would align, and on this day she'd get some play from a hunk with a bottle-o-wine.
NEXT: Gigolo Johnny meets the old maid.
Posted by He Who Wanders on :
Gigolo Johnny meets the old maid. "Easy mark," says he. "I've got it made. Dancing and prancing, A bit of romancing, I'll use all the tools of the trade."
NEXT: Gigolo Johnny makes his move.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Gigolo Johnny makes his move And as he got into the groove at the disco in San Francisco Johnny was forcibly removed.
NEXT:
Johnny was thrown out into the alley
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Johnny was thrown out into the alley Where he was seen by beautiful Sally Taking a short cut While walking her mutt Home from an anti-war rally.
NEXT:
Sally looked down on John, Gigolo
Posted by He Who Wanders on :
Sally looked down on John, Gigolo And started to play her piccolo. John, feeling inspired, Brushed off his attire And invited her back in for a Michelob.
NEXT:
John joined in Sally's protest
Posted by Dain on :
John joined in Sally's protest but his feet wanted to get some rest He needed a plan to be Sally's man So he thought he'd try his best.
NEXT:
He bought a fancy bouquet of flowers
(Be lenient, guys. I've never written a limerick before).
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
That was great Dain.
He bought a fancy bouquet of flowers and wrote love sonnets for hours & hours It wasn't to be for you see Sally had a crush on Stephanie Powers
NEXT:
Stephanie Powers played April Dancer
Posted by He Who Wanders on :
Stephanie Powers played April Dancer As a 1960s spy smasher. Sally was a fan Who had a plan: To join U.N.C.L.E. as May Prancer.
NEXT:
May Prancer went on her first mission
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
May Prancer went on her first mission to stop a T.H.R.U.S.H. plan for nuclear fission She was rarin' to go But then Napoleon Solo refused to give her permission.
Next: May stowed away on a plane
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
May stowed away on a plane While chasing a villian named Bane. May was stranded When she landed As the villian drank some champagne.
Next: What was Bane's nefarious plot?
Posted by He Who Wanders on :
What was Bane's nefarious plot? May noticed he was drinking a lot. He picked up the phone And dialed Al Capone, And said, "I wan' this fellow shot!"
NEXT:
May had to do something quick
Posted by Ram Boy on :
May had to do something quick for the plot was now getting thick So she went for her gun and Bane he did run to avoid getting shot by this chick.
NEXT:
May chased after villainous Bane
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
May chased after villainous Bane, But then decided "This is a pain. I'll no longer run, But I'll make my own fun Staying home reading novels by Zane."
Next: Aunt Betty made a pot of strong tea
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Aunt Betty made a pot of strong tea and put out a lemon scone just for me a tasty treat oh so sweet until I got the bill with her fee.
NEXT:
Betty took a trip to Montreal
Posted by He Who Wanders on :
Betty took a trip to Montreal Just to get away from it all. Scones and teas! Bills and fees! But wherever did she park the U-Haul?
Next:
Betty brushed up on her French
Posted by Ram Boy on :
Betty brushed up on her French til alas, her tongue she did wrench it happened in a bar while rolling a double R and talking to a man in a trench.
Next:
Betty was saved by a Canadian Mountie
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Betty was saved by a Canadian Mountie who came from a Saskatchewan county She was taken and then shaken to find out that she had a large bounty.
Note: Taken poetic licence if Canadian Provinces don't have county subdivisions.
NEXT: Stranded in a Canadian jail
[ May 18, 2007, 11:45 AM: Message edited by: Quislet, Esq. ]
Posted by CJ Taylor on :
Stranded in a Canadian jail Betty fretted and began to wail She, alone and scared Dominic, our hero appared And told her he had paid bail.
Next: In debt to a handsome stranger
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
In debt to a handsome stranger She went to the money exchanger To repay our hero But he told her "Zero is all that you owe this arranger."
NEXT: She asked him to join her for dinner
Posted by Ram Boy on :
She asked him to join her for dinner (her pot roast she thought was a winner) but as he chowed down he could not hide a frown, thinking "If I marry her I'd be thinner"
NEXT: Betty then dimmed the light
Posted by dedman on :
Betty then dimmed the light She thought tonight was the night but her date fell asleep not a snore! not a peep! she was so mad she could just bite!
NEXT: Dave awoke to a coyote situation
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Dave awoke to a coyote situation Yet he gave into a morning temptation Betty said "no, Just get up and go" Dave left seeking better motivation.
Next:
A young man with a certain X factor
Posted by He Who Wanders on :
A young man with a certain X factor Was seeking to make it as a Hollywood actor. He went for a part And pulled out his heart, And said, "I can be the zombie that attacked her!"
Next:
The director saw his potential
Posted by Ram Boy on :
The director saw his potential when the young man flashed his credential. He landed the role, the movie he stole. And now he's the STAR quintessential.
Next:
His ego grew bigger by the hour
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
His ego grew bigger by the hour. But soon the sweet wine began to sour, For youth, it flies And the plant, it dies, Not long after starting to flower.
Next: Limericks shouldn't be so depressing
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Limericks shouldn't be so depressing Humor is what should be expressing Having fun with a pun Don't groan, just count your many blessings.
Next: A leprechaun from County Cork
Posted by minesurfer on :
A leprechaun from the county of Cork. Was looking for someone to pork. He met up with a Ms. And they did more than kiss. And now he's avoiding the stork.
Next:
A maid in the keep on the hill
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
A maid in the keep on the hill Was certainly feeling the chill Of her confinement And, lacking refinement, Presented her jailer with a bill.
NEXT: It's time for a midsummer dance
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
It's time for a midsummer dance where one can hope to find romance but picking were slim for my friend Jim So he took a plane to Paris, France
Next: In Paris, it was one hundred and two
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
In Paris, it was one hundred and two Or in celsius, c'est quarante-deux* too hot for a dance or to wear heavy pants But Jim still found some [i]filles[i] to woo.
Walking along the Champs Elysees
* [yes, I know I'm off by few degrees. so sue me!]
Posted by Ram Boy on :
"Yes, I know I'm off by few degrees. so sue me!" challenged Kent, sounding all gloomy. And to make matters worse, I ditched his first verse! For rhyming Champs Elysees kinda threw me.
Walking along the Champs Elysees
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
Walking along the Champs Elysées, I'm trying hard to remember my français, When a handsome young man Cried "je t'adore!" and then What happened next, j'ai oublié!
Next: From Paris, we went on to Rome
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
From Paris, we went on to Rome Wherever we laid our hats was our home Is it wrong to steal from a song for a line in a silly little poem?
Next:
There was an old man from Manhattan
Posted by Lad Boy on :
There was an old man from Manhattan Whose middle had started to fatten, Last week, on a whim, He went to the gym To make his abdominals flatten.
Next:
While chatting with Dennis Calero,
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
While chatting with Dennis Calero, I received a phone call from Charo this was a mind-number who gave her my number? Someone carved it in Kilimanjaro
Next:
When Dennis told me his plans
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
When Dennis told me his plans To draw for each one of his fans I said to forget it Or he'd regret it Since he'd get real numb in his hands.
Next:
I walked on the moon in my dreams
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
I walked on the moon in my dreams I'd beaten Apollo's best teams A small step for man but a flash in the pan I'd bested Jack Kennedty's schemes
Next:
My next dream propelled me to Mars
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
My next dream propelled me to Mars Where I met a man who ate cars We were in rapture After my capture Feasting on tires 'neath the stars.
Next:
And then I was off to Venus
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
And then I was off to Venus Its acidic air was quite heinous such a feminine name for a place near aflame its temperatures boiled my *****
Next:
I cooled off by visiting Pluto
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
I cooled off by visiting Pluto With Popeye's old nemesis Bluto Who'd forgotten Miss Oyl For a brand new goil The lovely ex-president Bhutto
Next:
On Antares I went for a swim
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
On Antares I went for a swim But shape shifters robbed me and Tim Betrayed by ol' Proty Beam me up, Scotty! I'll never here visit agin!
Next:
While hot air ballooning on Xuun
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
(Assuming Xuun rhymes with moon)
While hot air ballooning on Xuun I decided the people to moon They so liked my buns Even their nuns They made me promise to come back soon
Next:
While sailing the Indian Ocean
Posted by Ram Boy on :
While sailing the Indian Ocean the boat took on a peculiar motion The cause was discovered when Lad Boy was uncovered on a bunk with a flashlight and lotion
Next:
And now he must walk the plank
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
[Kudos, Ram Boy, one of the best limericks]
And now he must walk the plank For that he has his passion to thank Handsome Lad dude Will be fish food He should have saved it all for Hank.
Next:
But no, our Lad Boy does not sink
[ November 08, 2007, 10:01 AM: Message edited by: Semi Transparent Fellow ]
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
[Alas, in order to keep this thread alive, I must reply to my own post. ]
But no, our Lad Boy does not sink Though he takes a dip in the drink His pantaloons Act as balloons And he floats away with a wink.
Next:
Alas, my dove has flown the coop
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Alas, my dove has flown the coop Took all my money in one swoop My stuff in hock She changed the lock So I sit alone on the stoop.
Next: A lonely young man down on his luck
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
A lonely young man down on his luck Loaded his stuff in an old pick up truck He travelled the land With a new wave band Till gold with a hit record, they struck.
Next:
Life in L.A. was too much for the man
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Life in L.A. was too much for the man Leaving was his only plan At midnight he packed all his stuff on Amtrak Now in Macon, he lives in a van.
Next: Why did Ram Boy move to Georgia?
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Why did Ram Boy move to Georgia? Instead of sunny California? It's hard to find a perfect ryhme So I think I'll just end it now.
Next (And maybe last)
Has this thread run it's course?
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
Has this thread run its course? Are all of our rhymes sounding forced? If the thread takes a rest, That sometimes is best. And then it will come back full-force!
Next (Whenever that may be): Life on Legion World is just great.
Posted by Ram Boy on :
Life on Legion World is just great. There's no anger, or malice, or hate. Just mind the rule; Don't act like a tool, and this super group you'll soon penetrate.
Next: When posting on Legion World I'd advise
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
When posting on Legion World I'd advise wearing a mask or some such disguise It helps you avoid people you've annoyed when writing a limerick they despise.
Next:
Quislet is looking forward to the Con
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
Quislet is looking forward to the Con And seeing Legion World friends thereupon. Some he's already met; Others, not yet, Like that weird guy from Houston named John.
Next: A trip to the con will be fun.
Posted by He Who Wanders on :
A trip to the con will be fun: Some comics, some travel, some sun! Drive to San Diego In your Winnebago, And bring back comics by the ton!
Next: Some of us will go in spirit
Posted by Exnihil on :
Some of us will go in spirit. Others will wish they lived near it. Well, Ex was in town, DiDio shot him down, And if you check out DC's podcast, you'll hear it.
Next: Writing new limericks is tricky
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Writing new limericks is tricky Espcially when you have a hickey Don't be rude Or in the nude Or things could end up awfully sticky.
Next: Certain Legion fans went to New York City
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
Certain Legion fans went to New York City The state of Legion affairs was a pity Two comics are gone The cartoon's no longer on And DiDio is just trying to be witty.
Next: Legion of Three Worlds is still being drawn
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Legion of Three Worlds is still being drawn Let's hope it doesn't turn into Black Dawn How many die And leave fans to cry? Will Jeckie turn into a gigantic prawn?
NEXT: There once was a fellow called Prime
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
There once was a fellow called Prime He's Superboy, not Man, this time Though he talks good trash, He's afraid of Kid Flash, But at least he's not written by Justin Thyme.
Next: Rockhopper Lad was shelving some books
Posted by Exnihil on :
Rockhopper Lad was shelving some books Left out by inconsiderate schnooks When they started to shout Rocky tossed them out A librarian is more than just dirty looks
Next: There once was lawyer named Quis
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
There once was a lawyer named Quis Who made a particular biz Of knowing what's right In blind Justice's sight In Space Law he's also a wiz.
Next: A speech being made by one Yellow Kid
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
A speech being made by one Yellow Kid Was for an office for which he'd bid; "Come vote for me, and soon you will see, I'll accomplish more than Lardy ever did!"
Next: Lard Lad replied with a retort
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Lard Lad replied with a retort, "That's wrong and I'll take you to court!" He hired a lawyer Whose name was Tom Sawyer, With skills of a fictional sort.
NEXT: The judge in the case then replied
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
The judge in the case then replied, "Sorry, my hands are thus tied, Political spin, it may be a sin, but on fee speech watch Yellow Kid glide."
NEXT: Lardy's appeal case seemed doomed
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
Lardy's appeal case seemed doomed On the horizon failure loomed when all at once, he stopped being a dunce "Quislet must defend me!" he happily boomed
NEXT: Quislet prepared an airtight case
Posted by The Traveler on :
Quislet prepared an airtight case, "I'll win at a world-record pace, Their evidence is weak, Their witnesses can't speak, And their suits... just a fashion disgrace"
NEXT: The jury was thusly sequestered
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
The jury was thusly sequestered, "GUILTY!" "NOT GUILTY!" they bickered, The evidence was weighed, Decisions were made, Then Lardy's verdict was summarily delivered.
Next: "All rise for the Judge" was heard,
Posted by Lad Boy on :
"All rise for the Judge" was heard, Lardy -- dear Lardy -- inferred "The bailiff must mean I should be crude and obscene." I'm sure you can guess what occurred.
Next: With unparalleled jurisprudence
Posted by Arm Fall Off Boy on :
With unparalleled jurisprudence the judge, who seemed to be holding a grudge, Cried "60 days in jail! No, I will not grant bail!" And on that, he would not budge.
Next: In jail Lardy dropped the soap
Posted by Exnihil on :
In jail Lardy dropped the soap And, non-sequitorially, I hope Quis is happy this thread has been bumped from the dead Or I'll end up looking like a dope.
Next: Actually, thread bumping's fun,
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Actually, thread bumping's fun, It's better than beating a nun But instead this thread's dead Limericks are over and done.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Posted by Exnihil on :
Limericks are over and done? Why, this thread was barely begun. So I'll take your lead And plant the next seed To grow it back to a thread that is fun.
Next: Thank God that Levitz is back...
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Thank God that Levitz is back and the Legion's not done by a hack But who will be Leader As deemed by The Reader May make Mr. Levitz say "Frack!"
Next: You know what the Legion needs now
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
You know what the Legion needs now Is for male Legionnaires to allow More view of their skin, Wearing costumes so thin. Gravity Kid can show them all how.
Next: If Cos brought back his bustier
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
If Cos brought back his bustier Rocky would surely grow lustier but when all's said and done despite all his fun Rokk's 70s look could not grow more mustier
Next: If Luornu had two-timed poor Chuck
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
If Luornu had two-timed poor Chuck That would be the end of his luck. He'd mope and he'd pout, His bounce would give out, So if he starts falling, just duck!
Next: Let's write a story about Lash
Posted by rickshaw1 on :
There once was a lad named Lash he was not a fan of the $#%^ the word is offensive, he gets a bit apprehensive, and at Rickshaw he will bash.
next: Future King
Posted by Quislet, Esq on :
Future King did something naughty bawdy a real fling.
Next:
It was the usual St. Patrick's Day
Posted by rickshaw1 on :
It was the usual St. Patrick's Day All the drunks came out to play But the PoPo's surprise Bugged out their eyes when the beer was all iced green tea.
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