posted
If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars) I'd buy you a house (I would buy you a house) If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars) I'd buy you furniture for your house (Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman) And if I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars) Well, I'd buy you a K-Car (A nice Reliant automobile) If I had a million dollars I'd buy your love
If I had a million dollars I'd build a tree fort in our yard If I had million dollars You could help, it wouldn't be that hard If I had million dollars Maybe we could put like a little tiny fridge in there somewhere You know, we could just go up there and hang out Like open the fridge and stuff There would already be laid out foods for us Like little pre-wrapped sausages and things
They have pre-wrapped sausages but they don't have pre-wrapped bacon Well, can you blame 'em Uh, yeah
If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars) Well, I'd buy you a fur coat (But not a real fur coat that's cruel) And if I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars) Well, I'd buy you an exotic pet (Yep, like a llama or an emu) And if I had a million dollars (If I had a a million dollars) Well, I'd buy you John Merrick's remains (Ooh, all them crazy elephant bones) And If I had a million dollars I'd buy your love
If I had a million dollars We wouldn't have to walk to the store If I had a million dollars Now, we'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more If I had a million dollars We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner But we would eat Kraft Dinner Of course we would, we’d just eat more And buy really expensive ketchups with it That’s right, all the fanciest ke... dijon ketchups! Mmmmmm, Mmmm-Hmmm
If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars) Well, I'd buy you a green dress (But not a real green dress, that's cruel) And if I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars) Well, I'd buy you some art (A Picasso or a Garfunkel) If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars) Well, I'd buy you a monkey (Haven't you always wanted a monkey)
If I had a million dollars I’d buy your love
If I had a million dollars, If I had a million dollars If I had a million dollars, If I had a million dollars If I had a million dollars I'd be rich
If I Had A Million Dollars is the eleventh (11th) song on the Rock Spectacle album. It is an original song by Barenaked Ladies.
-------------------- All you need is Love (and a whole big bucket of Money).
From: Lost in the Ozone Again | Registered: Dec 2005
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When I first met you baby, you fed me on chicken and wine. It was steak and potatoes and lobster and babe I sure felt fine. But now all you ever give me is seaweed and alfalfa sprouts And sunflower seeds and I got my doubts - Babe, you left me here with the Chicken Cordon Bleus.
My stomach's so empty and all I got is food for thought. And I been sittin' here thinkin' 'bout the twenty lbs. of groceries we bought. We bought ten lbs. of brown rice and five more of beans And five pounds of Granola and you know what that means, I'm just a regular fella with the Chicken Cordon Bleus.
Now won't you play me them fat licks!
You know, I'm starved for affection and babe, I can take no more. You know this stuff is so weird that the cockroaches moved next door. Babe, can you see that old dog, he's out in the street He's got a big smile on his face 'cause they let him meat. And babe I got the lemon and the Chicken Cordon Bleus!
Babe, I'm goin down to the bakery And I'm going to find me a jelly roll And some cannoli. Some French pastry. A chocolate éclair don't sound too bad. How about some lasagna ? You know fat is where it's at. My shadow disappears ...
-------------------- All you need is Love (and a whole big bucket of Money).
From: Lost in the Ozone Again | Registered: Dec 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
All right, guys... we're now at the one hour mark.
I know that sun's hot... in fact, I think Davey might actually be going a bit heat-crazy with all the singing I hear.
How about a nice, ice-cold six-pack of Silverale to cool off? I hear it goes great with Cheez-its.
If anyone wants to drop out... it's yours.
-------------------- See Here for the latest update on the 2013 Chicago Gathering (now including tentative attendance list)
Registered: Feb 2008
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posted
- Everyone's A Little Bit Racist "Avenue Q"
Princeton: Say, Kate, can I ask you a question?
Kate Monster: Sure!
Princeton: Well, you know Trekkie Monster upstairs?
Kate Monster: Uh huh.
Princeton: Well, he's Trekkie Monster, and you're Kate Monster.
Kate Monster: Right.
Princeton: You're both Monsters.
Kate Monster: Yeah.
Princeton: Are you two related?
Kate Monster: What?! Princeton, I'm surprised at you! I find that racist!
Princeton: Oh, well, I'm sorry! I was just asking!
Kate Monster: Well, it's a touchy subject. No, not all Monsters are related. What are you trying say, huh? That we all look the same to you? Huh, huh, huh?
Princeton: No, no, no, not at all. I'm sorry, I guess that was a little racist.
Kate Monster: I should say so. You should be much more careful when you're talking about the sensitive subject of race.
Princeton: Well, look who's talking!
Kate Monster: What do you mean?
Princeton: What about that special Monster School you told me about?
Kate Monster: What about it?
Princeton: Could someone like me go there?
Kate Monster: No, we don't want people like you-
Princeton: You see?!
You're a little bit racist.
Kate Monster: Well, you're a little bit too.
Princeton: I guess we're both a little bit racist.
Kate Monster: Admitting it is not an easy thing to do...
Princeton: But I guess it's true.
Kate Monster: Between me and you, I think
Both: Everyone's a little bit racist Sometimes. Doesn't mean we go Around committing hate crimes. Look around and you will find No one's really color blind. Maybe it's a fact We all should face Everyone makes judgments Based on race.
Princeton: Now not big judgments, like who to hire or who to buy a newspaper from -
Kate Monster: No!
Princeton: No, just little judgments like thinking that Mexican busboys should learn to speak goddamn English!
Kate Monster: Right!
Both: Everyone's a little bit racist Today. So, everyone's a little bit racist Okay! Ethinic jokes might be uncouth, But you laugh because They're based on truth. Don't take them as Personal attacks. Everyone enjoys them - So relax!
Princeton: All right, stop me if you've heard this one.
Kate Monster: Okay!
Princeton: There's a plan going down and there's only one paracute. And there's a rabbi, a priest...
Kate Monster: And a black guy!
Gary Coleman: Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Kate?
Kate Monster: Uh...
Gary Coleman: You were telling a black joke!
Princeton: Well, sure, Gary, but lots of people tell black jokes.
Gary Coleman: I don't.
Princeton: Well, of course you don't - you're black! But I bet you tell Polack jokes, right?
Gary Coleman: Well, sure I do. Those stupid Polacks!
Princeton: Now, don't you think that's a little racist?
Gary Coleman: Well, damn, I guess you're right.
Kate Monster: You're a little bit racist.
Gary Coleman: Well, you're a little bit too.
Princeton: We're all a little bit racist.
Gary Coleman: I think that I would Have to agree with you.
Princeton/Kate Monster: We're glad you do.
Gary Coleman: It's sad but true! Everyone's a little bit racist -
All right!
Kate Monster: All right!
Princeton: All right!
Gary Coleman: All right! Bigotry has never been Exclusively white
All: If we all could just admit That we are racist a little bit, Even though we all know That it's wrong, Maybe it would help us Get along.
Princeton: Oh, Christ do I feel good.
Gary Coleman: Now there was a fine upstanding black man!
Princeton: Who?
Gary Coleman: Jesus Christ.
Kate Monster: But, Gary, Jesus was white.
Gary Coleman: No, Jesus was black.
Kate Monster: No, Jesus was white.
Gary Coleman: No, I'm pretty sure that Jesus was black-
Princeton: Guys, guys...Jesus was Jewish!
Brian: Hey guys, what are you laughing about?
Gary Coleman: Racism!
Brian: Cool.
Christmas Eve: BRIAN! Come back here! You take out lecycuraburs!
Princeton: What's that mean?
Brian: Um, recyclables. Hey, don't laugh at her! How many languages do you speak?
Kate Monster: Oh, come off it, Brian! Everyone's a little bit racist.
Brian: I'm not!
Princeton: Oh no?
Brian: Nope!
How many Oriental wives Have you got?
Christmas Eve: What? Brian!
Princeton: Brian, buddy, where you been? The term is Asian-American!
Christmas Eve: I know you are no Intending to be But calling me Oriental - Offensive to me!
Brian: I'm sorry, honey, I love you.
Christmas Eve: And I love you.
Brian: But you're racist, too.
Christmas Eve: Yes, I know. The Jews have all The money And the whites have all The power. And I'm always in taxi-cab With driver who no shower!
Princeton: Me too!
Kate Monster: Me too!
Gary Coleman: I can't even get a taxi!
All: Everyone's a little bit racist It's true. But everyone is just about As racist as you! If we all could just admit That we are racist a little bit, And everyone stopped being So PC Maybe we could live in - Harmony!
Christmas Eve: Evlyone's a ritter bit lacist!
-------------------- All you need is Love (and a whole big bucket of Money).
From: Lost in the Ozone Again | Registered: Dec 2005
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You might think i'm crazy to hang around with you maybe you think i'm lucky to have something to do but i think that you're wild and inside me is some child you might think it's foolish or maybe it's untrue you might think i'm crazy but all i want is you
you might think it's hysterical but i know when you're weak you think you're in the movies and everything's so deep but i think that you're wild when you flash that fragile smile you might think it's foolish what you put me through you might think i'm crazy but all i want is you
and it's so hard to take there's no escape without a scrape you kept it going till the sun fell down you kept it going
you might think i'm delirious the way i run you down but somewhere sometime when you're curious i'll be back around and i think that you're wild and so uniquely styled you might think it's foolish this chancey rendezvous you might think i'm crazy but all I want is you
-------------------- All you need is Love (and a whole big bucket of Money).
From: Lost in the Ozone Again | Registered: Dec 2005
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