1. He'll retroactively have all the Legionnaires speak in hillbilly.
Posted by He Who Wanders on :
2. He keeps telling people to get off his lawn.
3. As a Time Trapper, the universe will be his lawn.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
4. He'd outcranky the original comic-book Time Trapper and make the rest of us look like wimpy Time Trappers.
Posted by Viridis Lament on :
5. Purple is SO NOT his colour
Posted by Blaze on :
6. Time Trapper Ricksaw1 doesn't sound good
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
7. He would probably be the 20th Time Trapper, which makes him Mississippi Time Trapper and when I was little, I thought Mrs. Sippy was a person who was always around when a hurricane hit.
Posted by He Who Wanders on :
8. Shotguns are so passe as weapons of mass destruction.
Posted by rickshaw1 on :
Cosmic shotguns shooting supernovas on the other hand....
BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Posted by Lard Lad on :
9. Because "Time Trapper Cranky McBasstard" sounds MUCH better! Posted by Legion Tracker on :
10. Because Time Trapper will be a portal to becoming a Time Hijacker.
Posted by cleome46 on :
11...
Click Here For A Spoiler...hundred and three bad pickup lines Posted by Viridis Lament on :
12. He'll have to dust all those books at the end of time
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
13. His wife thinks that purple robes are creepy.
Posted by He Who Wanders on :
14. He's just built a new house, so he wouldn't want to move to the End of Time, anyway.
Posted by Quislet, Esq on :
15. Because he plans to BBQ Erin Gray upon making Time Trapper. Either BBQ her or have her over for some BBQ. Either way Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
16. He'll yell at all the rest of the Time Trappers for not bringing enough food to the annual Trapper picnic.
17. The zombies sent by the Dark Oval have a thing or two to say about rickshaw.
Posted by He Who Wanders on :
18. Uuuugh! Errrrgg! ARRRRGGGH! RAAAIIS?*
*zombie speak for "rickshaw1 should not be a Time Trapper! Got brains?" Posted by rickshaw1 on :
*racks shotgun shell into place...*
Damn zombies, always dyin' on mah lawn....
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
19. Shotguns are sooooooooo 19th century.
Posted by Legion Tracker on :
20. Because time moves more slowly in South Carolina, and that's an unfair advantage.
Posted by rickshaw1 on :
I peephart en yo'er gzniral direzon!
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
21. He'll turn the Trapper bathroom into an outhouse.
Posted by rickshaw1 on :
Thet's too damn fayancy fer mah'. Ewe see dat dere broken tree? park it an' let flah!
Posted by cleome46 on :
22. Never returned my rototiller. Posted by Jerry on :
23. He doesn't know the lyrics to "Time In a Bottle".
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
24. Pranks the other Time Trappers by turning their robes plaid.
Posted by Jerry on :
25. Unrelenting sales pitches for dilapidated, rusted out used time bubbles.
Posted by cleome46 on :
26. Only hires minions willing to undergo "total-body" Brazilian waxes before the interview.
[ September 13, 2012, 10:19 PM: Message edited by: cleome46 ]
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
27. Draws irremovable graffiti on the Trapper bathroom.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
28. He'd feel pressured to go to the fancy parties thrown by the other Time Trappers where they serve dainty food like salad.
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
29. Anyone who doesn't applaud after he plays his banjo gets trapped for a week in the Dark Ages.
Posted by rickshaw1 on :
Lies! All LIES! Just you wait til Trapper status is mine! I will ferret out those stinkin' weasels tellin' these shameless lies about me and 'splode their molecules across the galaxy and time!
*uhhhh, any got change for a buck. Wanna get a soder buck the machine only takes change.
BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY VENGEANCE SHALL BE MIIIIIINNNEEE!
*no, seriously, got'ne change?
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
30. He's too schizophrenic to be a good Time Trapper.
Posted by rickshaw1 on :
I yam not! R2! Yam not! ARGH 2! Yam Knot! Yargh two!
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
31. He steals Popeye's speech patterns without giving due credit.
Posted by rickshaw1 on :
32. I turns Olive Oyle into a dirty girl. A little balsamic vinegar...
Posted by cleome46 on :
33. Never treats his robes for static cling, so you can totally see that he wears old sweatsocks and no shoes to meetings.
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
34. Doesn't wash his hands after using the Trapper toilet.
Posted by rickshaw1 on :
What's wrong wit dat? Mah' han'zer clean, ain't dey? Pee kills bacterials. Whut?
Posted by cleome46 on :
quote:Originally posted by rickshaw1: 32. I turns Olive Oyle into a dirty girl. A little balsamic vinegar...
32a. Because now I can't stop picturing Lisa Lampanelli dressed up as Olive Oyl.
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
37. Because he think we're saying "Timed Rapper" and he's working on some more redneck rhymes.
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
^
38. Because he can't even trap a rat. How the heck are we supposed to believe he can trap time?
Posted by rickshaw1 on :
Bah! BAH! I say! I'll have you know they cut the field next to the house we are building and the field mice tried to invade. I Slaughtered them! Without remorse!
Die MICE DIE!
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
39. Tom (of Tom and Jerry) sued him for stealing his shtick.
Posted by cleome46 on :
40. Is that his nose, or is he trying to eat a yam without using silverware?
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
41. His kono fruit looks rather... dubious.
Posted by cleome46 on :
42. He constantly uses the phrase "hair in the butter" when hosting the Time Trappers' Cooking Hour on PBS.
No dish is going to be appetizing after hearing that, no matter how good it looks.
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
43. He's terribly selective when resurrecting extinct species - he only picks cool ones with feathers, claws and more than 3 colors.
Posted by cleome46 on :
44. He posed as a professional tuner, then stole half the keys off the piano in the Time Trapper Lounge. (He hocked the ivory to buy more cigars.)
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
45. He pranked all the current Time Trappers by turning their robes fuchsia.
Posted by rickshaw1 on :
LIES LIES LIES! Chartreuse.
Posted by Jerry on :
quote:Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac: 41. His kono fruit looks rather... dubious.
but how does it taste? Posted by rickshaw1 on :
Like Fried Chicken, of course. Posted by Legion Tracker on :
46. The SPCT alleges that he plans to use cruel methods to trap time. Like blowing cheap cigar smoke in its face.
Posted by cleome46 on :
47. Too cheap to buy the Missus quality take-out dinners* when he's out late Trapping and not home to do his share of the cooking.
*Rumor has it that he forces her and the offspring to manage with just Diet Mr. Pibb™ and Hot Pockets™. Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
48. He has eliminated all thyme in the universe, just so time won't have a homophone.
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