This is the thread in which you are to ask whatever questions you will of candidates once they have declared their candidacy. (Please understand most of these candidates are people you wouldn't want washing your car or mowing your lawn when formulating the questions).
The candidates are commanded to answer the questions as untruthfully and/or as self-servingly as is appropriate.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
So, candidates.
If I were looking for someone to wash my car, would you be a good choice?
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
What color underwear do you wear?
I'll only vote for someone who wears green underpants. That's the color I wear!
Posted by Exnihil on :
quote:Originally posted by The Election Tyrant: The candidates are commanded to answer the questions as untruthfully and/or as self-servingly as is appropriate.
I just love when the Election Tyrant gets all officious.
"Commanded"... just gives me goose pimples, I tell you.
So... even though I don't think there are any declared candidates yet... once they do start showing up, I'd like to ask what the juiciest rumor is that you've heard about each of your respective opponents.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
Whoever will be the next leader and deputy will be the immediate heirs of the glorious Rocky/Fanfie legacy. What do you offer that is worthy of that legacy?
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Where's Hoffa buried?
Posted by Future on :
What's the shortest route I can take to Constantinople without running into tolls?
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
What is your stand on Alt IDs?
And does this shirt make me look fat?
Posted by Calm Yo Tits on :
Which one a y'all hos gonna calm my tits?
Posted by Anita Cocktail on :
Honestly, Calm dearest, you have me in tears right now!! I keep spilling my Rum Sling!!
Posted by Calm Yo Tits on :
Ho, your tits be rum-soaked.
Posted by Calm Yo Tits on :
quote:Originally posted by Eryk Davis Ester: So, candidates.
If I were looking for someone to wash my car, would you be a good choice?
Axe Jayquann. He needs the money.
Posted by Calm Yo Tits on :
'Cause he broke.
Posted by Anita Cocktail on :
Goodness, no! I'd be too worried that he'd steal my car!
Posted by Calm Yo Tits on :
quote:Originally posted by Anita Cocktail: Goodness, no! I'd be too worried that he'd steal my car!
Fo real real. That brotha a thief.
Posted by Exnihil on :
quote:Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac: What color underwear do you wear?
That is a fantastic question, Ibby. I actually don't wear underwear, at all, preferring to go commando. Because the raw leadership exemplified by our commandos is just the sort of quality that a leader of the LMB needs!
quote:Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac: I'll only vote for someone who wears green underpants.
That is to say... I wear green.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
quote:Originally posted by Eryk Davis Ester: So, candidates.
If I were looking for someone to wash my car, would you be a good choice?
I highly recommend Thora in some daisy dukes! She might not admit it, but if you play some White Snake, all kinds of cray-cray might go down!
quote:Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac: What color underwear do you wear?
I'll only vote for someone who wears green underpants. That's the color I wear!
Green!
quote:Originally posted by Exnihil:
quote:Originally posted by The Election Tyrant: The candidates are commanded to answer the questions as untruthfully and/or as self-servingly as is appropriate.
I just love when the Election Tyrant gets all officious.
"Commanded"... just gives me goose pimples, I tell you.
So... even though I don't think there are any declared candidates yet... once they do start showing up, I'd like to ask what the juiciest rumor is that you've heard about each of your respective opponents.
I’ve heard Ex has legions of little children working in his sweat shops! While he forces them to work in his employ all day and night, he makes them listen to Nickleback!
quote:Originally posted by Rockhopper Lad: Whoever will be the next leader and deputy will be the immediate heirs of the glorious Rocky/Fanfie legacy. What do you offer that is worthy of that legacy?
There will be an immediate need for two stalwarts to act as judges for the mandatory striptease competition each LMBer will need to take part in, to better gauge who has the best seduction skills for the Espionage Squad. This function just so happens to come with an enormous salary and unlimited supply of previously undiscovered Peanuts comic strips kept secret for a thousand years!
quote:Originally posted by Cobalt Kid: Where's Hoffa buried?
On Masstomb IV, where Ex buried all the other people he’s had murdered over the centuries!
quote:Originally posted by Future: What's the shortest route I can take to Constantinople without running into tolls?
Stoopid Cat’s Tesseracts!
quote:Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac: What is your stand on Alt IDs?
And does this shirt make me look fat?
We are a pro-Alt ID ticket! We fully intend to promote and celebrate this critically important members of Legion World!
And that shirt makes you look smoldering. Several LMBers were yelling about not even needing to use their hands moments earlier.
quote:Originally posted by Calm Yo Tits: Which one a y'all hos gonna calm my tits?
Poverty Lad will be more than happy to provide this service! On Earth, he’s better known as the Motorboatin’ Mofo!
Posted by cleome45 on :
quote:Originally posted by Exnihil:
quote:Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac: What color underwear do you wear?
That is a fantastic question, Ibby. I actually don't wear underwear, at all, preferring to go commando. Because the raw leadership exemplified by our commandos is just the sort of quality that a leader of the LMB needs!
quote:Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac: I'll only vote for someone who wears green underpants.
That is to say... I wear green.
So... I'm parsing Ex's answer(s) out as a declaration that he's some kind of Coluan-Durlan hybrid.
Well, at least that brings some diversity to the race. Posted by Exnihil on :
quote:Originally posted by Rockhopper Lad: Whoever will be the next leader and deputy will be the immediate heirs of the glorious Rocky/Fanfie legacy. What do you offer that is worthy of that legacy?
I promise, as the next leader of the LMB, the storied example the both of you have set, celebrating both penguins and poop jokes, will not only continue, but be raised to a whole new level.
That's right, Legion World... it is the dawning of the age of:
Penguin Poop jokes.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Bah! I'll fill Legion World with Pooping Penguin Prostitutes if you need it! I always keep at least five dozen on stand-by anyway.
Posted by Exnihil on :
quote:Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
quote:Originally posted by Cobalt Kid: Where's Hoffa buried?
On Masstomb IV, where Ex buried all the other people he’s had murdered over the centuries!
This is 100 % true. While Cobalt Kid stood idly by as Hoffa and his minions threatened the very bedrock that LW is founded on, I was taking action.
And... I tripled the LW export of bedrock.
Posted by Exnihil on :
quote:Originally posted by Future: What's the shortest route I can take to Constantinople without running into tolls?
Ah... a wiley question, Future, one that clearly tripped up my opponent.
I, of course, realize, that Constantinople no longer exists, superseded by Istanbul.
Why did Constantinople get the works? Well, that's no one's business but the Turks.
Posted by Exnihil on :
quote:Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac: What is your stand on Alt IDs?
Right beside them, my friend... right beside them.
quote:Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac: And does this shirt make me look fat?
Only with a "PH".
Posted by Exnihil on :
quote:Originally posted by Eryk Davis Ester: If I were looking for someone to wash my car, would you be a good choice?
Unfortunately, not myself personally as, very shortly, I will be very involved in matters of state.
But might I recommend Cobalt Kid? He should be looking for meaningful employment in about a month, and he's a darned good scrubber.
Posted by Exnihil on :
quote:Originally posted by Calm Yo Tits: Which one a y'all hos gonna calm my tits?
I say: Don't listen to those who say they need calming at all!
They are already wonderful in their naturally excited state.
Now Jayquann's? Well, those might need some calming.
Posted by Calm Yo Tits on :
Y'all all cray-cray.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
quote:Originally posted by Exnihil:
quote:Originally posted by Future: What's the shortest route I can take to Constantinople without running into tolls?
Ah... a wiley question, Future, one that clearly tripped up my opponent.
I, of course, realize, that Constantinople no longer exists, superseded by Istanbul.
Why did Constantinople get the works? Well, that's no one's business but the Turks.
Someone seems a hesitant to contemplate the time travel route. Perhaps Phineas B. Fuddle left a bigger scar than we thought?
Posted by Exnihil on :
quote:Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
quote:Originally posted by Exnihil:
quote:Originally posted by Future: What's the shortest route I can take to Constantinople without running into tolls?
Ah... a wiley question, Future, one that clearly tripped up my opponent.
I, of course, realize, that Constantinople no longer exists, superseded by Istanbul.
Why did Constantinople get the works? Well, that's no one's business but the Turks.
Someone seems a hesitant to contemplate the time travel route. Perhaps Phineas B. Fuddle left a bigger scar than we thought?
Do I understand that my opponent wishes to implement a toll system on time-travel routes?
For shame, sir. For shaaaaaaaame.
Posted by Exnihil on :
quote:Originally posted by Exnihil: I'd like to ask what the juiciest rumor is that you've heard about each of your respective opponents.
Excellent question... if only to demonstrate the type of negative campaigning that other, lesser, candidates might engage in.
I, personally, do not believe in the spreading of rumors, and I advise that no one should trust a candidate who does.
...
...
...
...
...
Like Cobie.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
all-
as the appointed spokesman for The Candidate Who Hast Not Yet Announced (TCWHNYA), I am duly authorized to answer some questions on their behalf.
quote:Originally posted by Eryk Davis Ester: So, candidates.
If I were looking for someone to wash my car, would you be a good choice?
TCWHNYA does not wash cars (for reasons that will one day soon become completely obvious)
quote:Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac: What color underwear do you wear?
I'll only vote for someone who wears green underpants. That's the color I wear!
TCWHNYA does not approve of the wearing of any undergarments, unless they are all one wears. In the latter case, green is an acceptable choice.
quote:Originally posted by Exnihil: I'd like to ask what the juiciest rumor is that you've heard about each of your respective opponents.
We hear unconfirmed reports that Anita and Cobalt Kid are one and the same person! Sorry, that's all we hear as of yet.
quote:Originally posted by Rockhopper Lad: Whoever will be the next leader and deputy will be the immediate heirs of the glorious Rocky/Fanfie legacy. What do you offer that is worthy of that legacy?
Clearly those shoes are too big to fill. TCWHNYA proposes a national week of mourning for the end of said administration, to be followed by a month of drunken debauchery.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
quote:Originally posted by Cobalt Kid: Where's Hoffa buried?
TCWHNYA points out that Candidate Cobalt Kid only puts that question out to deflect attention from his own role in the matter.
quote:Originally posted by Future: What's the shortest route I can take to Constantinople without running into tolls?
The Atlantic to the Mediterranean to the Aegean.
quote:Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac: What is your stand on Alt IDs?
And does this shirt make me look fat?
TCWHNYA will neither confirm nor deny that TCWHNYA is someone's alt.
Nothing makes you look fat.
quote:Originally posted by Calm Yo Tits: Which one a y'all hos gonna calm my tits?
That would be MLLash, whether he is running or not.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Kent, care to comment on the rumors that you are representing Legion Worlder 'gone'?
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Posted by The Election Tyrant on :
quote:Originally posted by Eryk Davis Ester: If I were looking for someone to wash my car, would you be a good choice?
The Election Tyrant does not get his hands dirty.
quote:Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac: What color underwear do you wear?
I'll only vote for someone who wears green underpants. That's the color I wear!
The Election Tyrant goes commando and can convince you to vote for him anyway.
quote:Originally posted by Cobalt Kid: Where's Hoffa buried?
The Election Tyrant could make reveal this answer for a large donation to the Ex/Tyrant Campaign Fund.
quote:Originally posted by Rockhopper Lad: Whoever will be the next leader and deputy will be the immediate heirs of the glorious Rocky/Fanfie legacy. What do you offer that is worthy of that legacy?
I'm the Election Tyrant.
quote:Originally posted by Future: What's the shortest route I can take to Constantinople without running into tolls?
The Election Tyrant doesn't pay tolls.
quote:Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac: What is your stand on Alt IDs?
And does this shirt make me look fat?
The Election Tyrant regularly stands on Alts.
The Election Tyrant requests Invisible Brainiac to remove the shirt so as to give the question context.
Posted by Calm Yo Tits on :
ooooooooooh you MEAN!
Posted by The Election Tyrant on :
Your point?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Candidates,
Now that it looks like the PB&J ticket is going to enter the race, are you ready to drop out and concede the race?
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
I promise Legion World that if I ever drop out, it will be at the last minute and only after I've made a complete and utter mockery of the election, dragging it out far past the point of being funny. Posted by Exnihil on :
Concede? Ha!
I don't know the meaning of the word, "concede"!
<whispering to his campaign team> No... seriously... what's it mean? You guys have to start doing better prep work if I'm going to be fielding questions. I'm dying out here. Posted by Power Boy on :
How any good can come of participating in this thread, I don't know. 'sigh'
quote:Originally posted by Eryk Davis Ester: So, candidates.
If I were looking for someone to wash my car, would you be a good choice?
Yes. Super speed! Unless I accidentally smashed your car with my bulging biceps.
then I would fly you around personally. We could reenact that scene from Superman.
quote:Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac: What color underwear do you wear?
I'll only vote for someone who wears green underpants. That's the color I wear!
hmm, I'm not sure New Gods based on Greek myths wear 'underpants'. Let's find out AFTER Jerry and I get your vote!
quote:Originally posted by Calm Yo Tits: Which one a y'all hos gonna calm my tits?
I can ... indeed ... Calm Those Tits! But Jerry has graciously offered .....
quote:Originally posted by Exnihil: So... even though I don't think there are any declared candidates yet... once they do start showing up, I'd like to ask what the juiciest rumor is that you've heard about each of your respective opponents.
Mostly rumors of CORRUPTION Exnihil ! In fact, I plan on throwing the Election Tyrant into the darkest dungeon on Legion World for one year as my first act as leader!! It's not looking good for yourself or Cobalt Kid either.
quote:Originally posted by Rockhopper Lad: Whoever will be the next leader and deputy will be the immediate heirs of the glorious Rocky/Fanfie legacy. What do you offer that is worthy of that legacy?
This is a very good question, One I will leave to Jerry, In fact I offer Jerry as worthy of the Rocky/Fanfie legacy. He's awesome.
quote:Originally posted by Cobalt Kid: Where's Hoffa buried?
Why do you ask? Mob ties?
quote:Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac: What is your stand on Alt IDs?
And does this shirt make me look fat?
I think we should treat our Legion Worlders with multiple personality disorder compassionately. (Otherwise we wouldn't have any members!)
And ... yes. that shirt makes you look fat. Take it off immediately. There ... MUCH better.
quote:Originally posted by Future: What's the shortest route I can take to Constantinople without running into tolls?
<---- BOOM tube teleportation.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
quote:Originally posted by Power Boy: Yes. Super speed! Unless I accidentally smashed your car with my bulging biceps.
then I would fly you around personally. We could reenact that scene from Superman.
I forgot to remind him to hold onto his nelly hat!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
quote:Originally posted by Shining Son:
quote:Originally posted by Power Boy: How any good can come of participating in this thread, I don't know. 'sigh'
Although somewhat mitigated by the subsequent participation, this shows a certain wisdom.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Candidates,
Recently, LW seems to have seen a sharp decline in posts by Ram Boy. In fact, it has been over a month since his last post. What will you do about this serious threat to the level of humor on LW?
Posted by cleome45 on :
Candidates:
Can I have onion rings on the side instead of fries for the same price?
Posted by Jerry on :
quote:Originally posted by cleome45: Candidates:
Can I have onion rings on the side instead of fries for the same price?
Of course. But, we agree with Hillary that carrots are a better choice.
quote:Originally posted by Eryk Davis Ester: Candidates,
Recently, LW seems to have seen a sharp decline in posts by Ram Boy. In fact, it has been over a month since his last post. What will you do about this serious threat to the level of humor on LW?
Amnesty and one month's free rent.
Posted by Exnihil on :
quote:Originally posted by cleome45: Candidates:
Can I have onion rings on the side instead of fries for the same price?
I am in favor of any initiative that involves my constituency getting some on the side.
<Ex's campaign team quickly scrambles to his side, frantically whispering>
What? No... settle down, fellas. The press would never take a quote out of context.
Posted by Raging Bull on :
I'll vote for whomever can promise to lower or altogether eliminate LW's exorbitant monthly user fees.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Candidates: what will you do to ensure I never run out of prime Alberta steak, bleu cheese, and onion rings?
Posted by Power Boy on :
quote:Originally posted by Raging Bull: I'll vote for whomever can promise to lower or altogether eliminate LW's exorbitant monthly user fees.
A deal with the Daleks is in the works ...
quote:Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare: Candidates: what will you do to ensure I never run out of prime Alberta steak, bleu cheese, and onion rings?
[ April 09, 2012, 06:55 PM: Message edited by: cleome45 ]
Posted by Exnihil on :
quote:Originally posted by Raging Bull: I'll vote for whomever can promise to lower or altogether eliminate LW's exorbitant monthly user fees.
Done and done. Under a Nihil administration, we would only bill quarterly (offset by a newly introduced 2.47 daily interest rate).
quote:Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare: Candidates: what will you do to ensure I never run out of prime Alberta steak, bleu cheese, and onion rings?
Introduce you to the joys of veganism. The onion rings are still vegan, you say? True... but the breath, Kent... the breath. Let's play it safe and let them fall to the wayside, as well.
This one rang true for some reason ... as I was scrolling through the questions ...
quote:Originally posted by Zardi, the Eternal Man: When will you people learn?
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
The Nightcrawler / Cobalt Kid ticket has decided not to answer the last few questions.
We promise to never 'tell you what you want to hear'. Instead, we'll simply not tell you anything.
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
what is your stand on coup d'etats?
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Big fan Posted by Exnihil on :
Coup d'etats... those are those little crackers with pâté that they serve at fancy parties, right? I love those.
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
What is the square root of 281,598,193?
Posted by Exnihil on :
quote:Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac: What is the square root of 281,598,193?
Higher than it's ever been... and only getting higher under the current administration.
If elected, I promise to put a cap not only on square roots, but across the board: cube roots... ginger roots... roots, rock, reggae... what have you. This situation has gone on long enough!
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
Anyone who posts a pic of themselves in a Speedo is sure to get many votes. Anyone?
Posted by Blaze on :
What is the essence of being an elected leader?
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
quote:Originally posted by Exnihil:
quote:Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac: What is the square root of 281,598,193?
Higher than it's ever been... and only getting higher under the current administration.
If elected, I promise to put a cap not only on square roots, but across the board: cube roots... ginger roots... roots, rock, reggae... what have you. This situation has gone on long enough!
Growing square roots brings jobs to Legion World! Surely--and by that I mean Shirley--you can't seriously consider a cap on roots?
What's next, a cap on The Roots? Questlove's Afro needs to be able to roam free. Otherwise, what's the point of living?
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
quote:Originally posted by Blaze: What is the essence of being an elected leader?
It smells a lot like Axe body spray.
Posted by Jerry on :
quote:Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac: what is your stand on coup d'etats?
Not a good idea in this reality.
Posted by Jerry on :
quote:Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac: What is the square root of 281,598,193?
It wouldn't be responsible for us to do your math homework for you. Here's a clue, though. You'll impress the teacher if you show your work.
Posted by Jerry on :
quote:Originally posted by Rockhopper Lad: Anyone who posts a pic of themselves in a Speedo is sure to get many votes. Anyone?
Not a good idea in this reality.
Posted by Jerry on :
quote:Originally posted by Blaze: What is the essence of being an elected leader?
We'll let Lucinda handle this one. I know it sounds sexual, but it's really all about love.
[Note: Breaking character a bit, I know... but what are the freaking chances that - after you enter a political race - you discover that a 70 year old naked pic of your avatar exists? I figured I'd better head the press off at the pass by breaking the scandal first!]
Posted by Jerry on :
Posted by Exnihil on :
quote:Originally posted by Blaze: What is the essence of being an elected leader?
Two drams sulphur, three drops tincture of mandrake root, a pinch of ambergris to taste... stir well and serve over ice.
(Optionally, the essence may be garnished with two to three stuffed olives).
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[shrug]](graemlins/shrug.gif)
![[LOL]](graemlins/lol.gif)
![[Yes]](graemlins/nod.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[No]](graemlins/shake.gif)
![[Devil]](graemlins/Devil1.gif)
Take it off immediately. There ... MUCH better. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[ROTFLMAO]](graemlins/rotflmao.gif)
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)