2. File his boxers, after doing a laundry.
Posted by Exnihil on :
3. Take the morning train, work from nine to five and then, take another home again.
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Follow the swan boats in the Public Garden and eat peanuts thrown by the passengers -- in fact he must re-enact all of Make Way for Ducklings while wearing a duck costume.
Posted by cleome on :
5. Duck Duck GOOSE!
Posted by cleome on :
6. Live trapped in a world that he never made. Posted by Ram Boy on :
7. scale the exterior of Boston's John Hancock Tower using plungers and Silly Putty.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
quote:Originally posted by Ram Boy: 7. scale the exterior of Boston's John Hancock Tower using plungers and Silly Putty.
While naked?
Posted by Dev Em on :
8. Show various LW members around Boston.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
9. Help a tourist
10. Provide a calming influence on a unruly mob and restore peace on the streets of Boston
11. Take a boat ride
Posted by Ram Boy on :
quote:Quislet, Esq.: While naked?
Wearing only a cape and mask!
12. Judge a Miss Boston Contest (fully clothed)
Posted by Dev Em on :
quote:Originally posted by Ram Boy: 12. Judge a Miss Boston Contest (fully clothed)
Him or the contestants?
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
13. Ride the entire length of the Red Line (either Ashmont or Braintree branch) while singing "MTA" (a.k.a. "Charlie on the MTA") over and over and over, though changing all the references to "MBTA" so it has the right name.
Posted by Ram Boy on :
quote:Originally posted by Dev Em: Him or the contestants?
The contestants. Quiz would be wearing a cape and a mask!
14. Be a secret food critic and review the Durgin-Park restaurant for Secret Food Critic Magazine.
Posted by SharkLad on :
15. Throw a tea party
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
16. Roll that beautiful baked bean footage.
Posted by Thriftshop Debutante on :
17. Mail inappropriate postcards.
Posted by Thriftshop Debutante on :
18. Pretend he doesn't know how cute he is.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
19. write Limericks!
Posted by MLLASH on :
20. Salt the tomatoes
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
21. Enter Andrew on an iron rail
Posted by cleome on :
22. Open a Boston Cream Pie kiosk in every mall in America.
Posted by Ram Boy on :
23. Go to Winmill Fabrics and pick out pretty (yet masculine) fabrics to make into shirts...
Posted by Ram Boy on :
24...and then go to Windsor Button to buy BUTTONS for all of them!
Posted by cleome on :
25. Play his medley of Boston's greatest hits on his brand-new marimba!
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
26. Hide a packet of theatre blood i your hand, go down the road to the JFK library and squash the packet against the back of your head. Then do your best Hyannis accent and shout, "Help! Jackie, I'm bleeding! I've been shot!"
Posted by dedman on :
27. Walk the cat
Posted by Ram Boy on :
About 27 - Our neighbor attempted that for the first time last week. It looked like she was doing tricks with a big, furry cat yo-yo.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
28. Host a radio talk show.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
29. Go into town to get scrod.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
I've been busy.
Posted by Exnihil on :
30. Save the liver.
Posted by cleome on :
31. Dress up as his favorite Impressionist painting at the Museum of Fine Arts.
Posted by Exnihil on :
32. Marvel at the fact that it's been nearly a year since he's had to do anything dumb.
Posted by Quislet, Esq on :
33. add to this list
Posted by future king on :
34. Fix the toaster, again.
Posted by Ram Boy on :
35. Pass out pamphlets which warn people about the dire effects of tomato consumption.
Posted by future king on :
36. Enrolled in a night school class for proper napkin folding.
Posted by Ram Boy on :
37.Unlearn the Cha Cha so that he can learn it all over again.
Posted by cleome on :
38. Ask a question so incomparably inane that Outdoor Miner will have no choice but to return to us.
Posted by future king on :
39. Got to hire a personal assistant for cryin' out load!
Posted by cleome on :
40. Buy some fake sideburns and a matching "soul patch."
Posted by future king on :
41. He has got to give me his secret recipe for baked Alaska.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
42. relaunch the Terrible Threateners.
Posted by future king on :
43. Rethink his good intentions with his creation of the square tennis ball.
Posted by He Who LSHes on :
44. Find a unique marketing strategy for the square tennis ball.
Posted by future king on :
45. Hire He Who LSHes to spearhead the launch of the new soon-to-be-the-latest-craze square tennis ball.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
46. prevent copyright infringements from the Rubik's Cube people.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
47. feast on the Blood of the Ancients.
Posted by cleome on :
48. Cure my all-encompassing attack of deja vu.
(Also: pick up some more Fresca™, please.)
Posted by Quislet, Esq on :
Sorry no Fresca tm. Would you take a Tab tm instead?
Posted by cleome on :
Sure. Just a little squeeze of lemon and I'm good to go!
Posted by future king on :
quote:Originally posted by cleome: Sure. Just a little squeeze of lemon and I'm good to go!
I'd even settle for just a little squeeze. Posted by Legion Tracker on :
49. The Royal Wedding party's laundry
Posted by Sonnie on :
50. get my shopping list for the next week so can have a break please....
Posted by Ram Boy on :
51. Name his toes and then find a pair of socks that they can all agree to wear.
Posted by future king on :
52. Find some way to get his square peg into the round hole.
Posted by superboymddjr on :
53. making a plan list to send out to all Legion Worlders to be invited to his BBQ party on July 4th and then watch the HUGE fireworks display! (I went to Boston on the 4th and wow....huge and beautiful fireworks display I have seen it!)
Posted by future king on :
54. Fire superboymddjr as his Promotions Manager.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
55. finally come out of the closet and embrace his secret love.... of tomatoes.
Posted by cleome on :
56. Start work writing and drawing his new epic mini-series. LMB: The Quest For Outdoor Miner. Posted by cleome on :
quote:Originally posted by future king:
quote:Originally posted by cleome: Sure. Just a little squeeze of lemon and I'm good to go!
I'd even settle for just a little squeeze.
[calls the police]
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
quote:Originally posted by cleome:
quote:Originally posted by future king:
quote:Originally posted by cleome: Sure. Just a little squeeze of lemon and I'm good to go!
I'd even settle for just a little squeeze.
[calls the police]
What do you call them? Posted by cleome on :
I don't think I should repeat such things on what's obviously a wholesome, All-American, all-ages thread, Dude. Sorry.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
57. complete that Mr. Potatohead stop-motion animation slasher flick: Frite Nite.
Posted by SharkLad on :
58. wallpaper his mud room
Posted by Ram Boy on :
59. deconstruct a pizza
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
60. Travel back in time, fall in love with Madame Curie, only to know she is doomed to die.
Posted by Legion Tracker on :
61. Pass the barre
Posted by cleome on :
62. Use a string and a magnet to fish for coins down below the street-corner sewer grates.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
63. pass the dutchie on the left hand side.
Posted by cleome on :
64. Bring it on home to me.
[plays sexy-yet-gender-neutral electric Blues guitar solo here]
Posted by SharkLad on :
65. organize his artificial sweeteners by color and functionality
Posted by superboymddjr on :
66. Fire Future King for failing to make the accurate prediction. Posted by cleome on :
67. Use Wisk™ to season the gumbo and Tabasco™ to clean the shirt collars.
Posted by future king on :
quote:Originally posted by superboymddjr: 66. Fire Future King for failing to make the accurate prediction.
Posted by cleome on :
68. Wear diamonds on the soles of his shoes.
Posted by cleome on :
69. Have this post banned in his hometown just because its numbering is, well... you know...
Posted by Ram Boy on :
Hmmm,
I'm gonna say...sexagenarianish.
Posted by Ram Boy on :
70. Paint the town REDRUM!
Posted by cleome on :
71. Peel me a grape.
Posted by Legion Tracker on :
72. Wait for Godot.
Posted by future king on :
73. Apologize to strangers for taking his seat on the subway.
Posted by cleome on :
74. Swap those Free Comic Book Day goodies for some puka shell necklaces.
Posted by future king on :
75. Try and build a snowman in May (in Ontario!) Posted by cleome on :
76. Lead the big parade, but in a complete reverse of its traditional route, and not on the appointed day.
Posted by Legion Tracker on :
quote:Originally posted by cleome: 76. Lead the big parade, but in a complete reverse of its traditional route, and not on the appointed day.
cleome, did a song about a certain number of trombones happen to inspire this? Yeah, I thought so.
Posted by cleome on :
I can totally visualize Quis as Prof. Hill.
Posted by Quislet, Esq on :
Does that make Rockhopper Lad Marian the Librarian?
Posted by rickshaw1 on :
77. Make it Legal to moon all the chief justices of the Supreme Court and Congress.
Posted by future king on :
78. And then come up here after that and do the same to the House of Commons people.
Posted by Legion Tracker on :
quote:Originally posted by Legion Tracker:
quote:Originally posted by cleome: 76. Lead the big parade, but in a complete reverse of its traditional route, and not on the appointed day.
cleome, did a song about a certain number of trombones happen to inspire this? Yeah, I thought so.
79. Listen to me tell how I was the music director of 6 performances of The Music Man for the grand opening of our county's new library and performing arts center a few years ago. 76 dadblamed trombones indeed!
Posted by SharkLad on :
80. Move a pile of sand from one place to another using tweezers
Posted by cleome on :
quote:Originally posted by Quislet, Esq: Does that make Rockhopper Lad Marian the Librarian?
And perhaps Actor Lad can lead the dancers in the "Grecian Urn" number.
Posted by cleome on :
81. Stock up on skinny ties and poet shirts.
Posted by future king on :
82. Accept my care package I sent him of all my skinny ties and poet shirts that I've collected since 1978. Posted by rickshaw1 on :
83. Make a whole in one on the 17th of Sawgrass while wearing full scuba gear.
Posted by cleome on :
84. Grow antennae.
Posted by future king on :
85. Suck a strawberry thru a straw.
Posted by Fanfic Lady on :
86. Pound on his own door -- even though he has the key -- while inexplicably yelling, "Color by Pathe."
Posted by cleome on :
87. Take Non-Sequitor to the Senior Prom.
Posted by Fanfic Lady on :
88. Try to talk to Belinda by going "Meow, meow."
Posted by cleome on :
89. Buy Fanfic Lady a super-secret special surprise birthday gift.
Click Here For A Spoiler
Posted by Fanfic Lady on :
^Wow. I'd never again have a gloomy time in the bathroom with that gift!
90. Give Non-Sequitor that old litter box that Belinda doesn't use anymore.
Posted by cleome on :
quote:Originally posted by Fanfic Lady: ^Wow. I'd never again have a gloomy time in the bathroom with that gift!
There are matching coasters and switchplates you can buy, too. Posted by cleome on :
91. Preserve those old comics by rolling them up in Mason jars in the root cellar. Mylar bags and backing boards are soooo passe'!
Posted by future king on :
92. Write a cookbook about comic book preservatives and all their uses as a spread.
Posted by cleome on :
93. Sign Belinda up for this summer's All-Housepet Little League.
Posted by cleome on :
94. Work on his pitch for a Broadway musical version of The Boys From Brazil. Posted by future king on :
95. Paint himself into a corner ... again!
Posted by Ram Boy on :
96. Do an idiot run through the streets of Boston, stopping only to shout at lamp posts.
(the evil looking ones)
Posted by future king on :
97. Re-count all the votes that came in for the American Idol finale.
Posted by Quislet, Esq on :
quote:Originally posted by future king: 97. Re-count all the votes that came in for the American Idol finale.
Only after I put the votes in order of the voters' Social Security Number.
Posted by future king on :
quote:Originally posted by Quislet, Esq:
quote:Originally posted by future king: 97. Re-count all the votes that came in for the American Idol finale.
Only after I put the votes in order of the voters' Social Security Number.
Ok good luck with that!
Posted by future king on :
98. Take possession of Selina Gomez away from Justin Bieber via and old fashioned arm wrestle.
Posted by Quislet, Esq on :
quote:Originally posted by future king: 98. Take possession of Selina Gomez away from Justin Bieber via and old fashioned arm wrestle.
Sorry, I will only wrestle Justin Bieber Greek style.
Posted by future king on :
quote:Originally posted by Quislet, Esq:
quote:Originally posted by future king: 98. Take possession of Selina Gomez away from Justin Bieber via and old fashioned arm wrestle.
Sorry, I will only wrestle Justin Bieber Greek style.
I'm Greek. Did you want me to lend you our Coles notes or "Greek Wrestling for Dummies"?
Posted by Quislet, Esq on :
quote:Originally posted by future king:
quote:Originally posted by Quislet, Esq:
quote:Originally posted by future king: 98. Take possession of Selina Gomez away from Justin Bieber via and old fashioned arm wrestle.
Sorry, I will only wrestle Justin Bieber Greek style.
I'm Greek. Did you want me to lend you our Coles notes or "Greek Wrestling for Dummies"?
I am talking about ancient Greek wrestling.
Posted by Legion Tracker on :
yeah, yeah, Quis, we all got it....
;-)
Posted by cleome on :
99. Lend me his hand-lettered cardboard sign that says, "Will Wrestle For Tiropetas."
Posted by Legion Tracker on :
100. Think of one more dumb thing he has to do to finish this list.
Posted by Ram Boy on :
101. Send a report to Corporal Glarff detailing the posting activities of prominent LMBers...
...in Neptunian!
Posted by future king on :
102. Take a picture of his junk and post it on a social network.
Posted by cleome on :
103. Serenade us with his favorite jingle as recounted in "The All-Dated Cultural References Thread."
Posted by future king on :
104. Feels the need to read all the posts on this thread, from the beginning, in case he missed something important.
Posted by Fanfic Lady on :
105. Pick his nose while singing about beer made from potatoes.
Posted by future king on :
106. Pick the lint out of his belly button.
Posted by Fanfic Lady on :
106a. Use that as an excuse for navel-gazing.
Posted by cleome45 on :
107. Lend me his pinking shears.
Posted by Fanfic Lady on :
108. Sleep in a trash can and lead a gang of alley cats.
Posted by cleome45 on :
109. Get down on it
Posted by He Who LSHes on :
110. Do a little dance.
111. Make a little love.
112. Get down tonight.
Posted by Fanfic Lady on :
113. Burn that mother down.
Posted by cleome45 on :
114. Get me to the church on time
Posted by future king on :
115. Stop listening to cheesey song lyrics.
Posted by Quislet, Esq on :
116. Retitle this thread
Posted by Ram Boy on :
117. Weed out the traitors in his beanie baby collection.
Posted by future king on :
118. Get resized for his new, improved set of bunny ears.
Posted by cleome45 on :
119. Make everyone power rings, by skillfully folding thousands of empty chewing gum wrappers.
Posted by Fanfic Lady on :
120. Put on a beret and speak in a tres frommage French accent.
Posted by Quislet, Esq on :
121. Perform a duet with Rebecca Black. Preferrably on Friday.
Posted by Fanfic Lady on :
^Ladies and gentlemen, presenting the Elton John and Lee Ann Rimes of this decade! Posted by cleome45 on :
122. Dress up like a giant pineapple and go hang around a baseball stadium in New Hampshire.
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
123. Collect all the orange M&Ms in the European Union and use them to build a model of the Eiffel Tower.
Posted by future king on :
124. Clean the soles of all his shoes.
Posted by cleome45 on :
125. Skip the light fandago and turn cartwheels 'cross the floor
Posted by Ram Boy on :
126. Put the finishing touches on his paint by numbers portrait of the original Charlie's Angels, and then send Shelley Hack a pointed email informing her that she "ruined everything".
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
127. Find lost souls.
Posted by future king on :
128. Do something smart.
Posted by Legion Tracker on :
129. Make a list of 101 Dumb Things Quislet, Esq. DOESN'T Have to Do.
Posted by future king on :
130. Come up with ways to store icecream in cupboards.
Posted by Fanfic Lady on :
131. Karaoke Deep Purple's "King of Dreams" while wearing a leather codpiece several sizes too small.
Posted by future king on :
132. Start a collage of pictures of Justin Bieber and Selina Gomez together.
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
133. Write an angry letter complaining that we have now given him an extra 32 tasks to do.
Posted by future king on :
134. Shuck an oyster.
Posted by Legion Tracker on :
quote:Originally posted by future king: 134. Shuck an oyster.
That would make a good profanity substitute.
Posted by cleome45 on :
135. Put this fish in his ear.
Posted by Legion Tracker on :
136. Dream a little dream of me.
Posted by cleome45 on :
137. Re-enact the original "Death of Phoenix" saga, using X-Men figurines that he hand-carved from bars of soap.
Posted by cleome45 on :
138. Drive to central Jersey and help my Mom pick up her dry cleaning before the store closes in an hour.
Posted by future king on :
quote:Originally posted by Legion Tracker:
quote:Originally posted by future king: 134. Shuck an oyster.
That would make a good profanity substitute.
Yes .... I use that substitute as often as I can ! Posted by future king on :
139. Wash the same load of laundry over and over again.
Posted by dedman on :
140. Knit a sweater from cat fur, wear it to a formal occassion and insist on being called Mr. Jingles
Posted by Lard Lad on :
141. Attached lightning rod to PC in hopes of getting faster internet. However... Posted by dedman on :
142. Respond to that Nigerian Prince
Posted by future king on :
143. Try on pet clothing for sizing issues.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
144. Find the Vermeer stolen from the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum.
Posted by future king on :
145. Trying to pluck the feathers off of Big Bird for his all-you-can-eat lunch buffet.
Posted by cleome45 on :
146. Get the world in a jug, and the stopper in his hand...
Posted by cleome45 on :
147. Try out for the Bruins.
Posted by dedman on :
148. sue microsoft because Windows 7 was his idea
Posted by Dev - Em on :
149. Rethink the number of things he has to do.
Posted by Thriftshop Debutante on :
150. Fight Magneto in a special double-sized ish!
Posted by future king on :
151. Washing his feet so he can make his sixth batch of homemade wine and sell it on ebay.
Posted by cleome45 on :
152. Invent a keyboard specially designed for those who type with their feet.
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
153. Write each of us a curt and angry note demanding that we remove 42 items from this list.
Posted by cleome45 on :
154. Legally change his name to Kurt W. Letter.
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
155. Have "KWL" monogrammed on all his clothing.
Posted by cleome45 on :
156. Cash out his 401K and invest in puffy stickers!
Posted by future king on :
157. Try out for this season's X-Factor show. (you're late as usual!!!)
Posted by cleome45 on :
158. Eat a dozen saltines while whistling "Dixie."
Posted by future king on :
159. Buy a Lady Gaga record.
Posted by cleome45 on :
159b. And play frisbee with it.
Posted by cleome45 on :
160. Fashion matching Duo Damsel costumes for himself and Belinda.
Posted by future king on :
161. Buy rose petals in bulk in case Justin Bieber and Selina Gomez tie the knot.
Posted by cleome45 on :
162. Send me all those bags of frozen cranberries that his roommate never used!
[ October 21, 2011, 12:26 PM: Message edited by: cleome45 ]
Posted by future king on :
163. Get another Pee-wee Herman tatoo.
Posted by cleome45 on :
164. Use his time machine to relive the glory and the wonder of a "Black Friday" at Mal-Wart.
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
165. Eat 165 birthday cakes in one sitting.
Posted by dedman on :
166. Chuck all the wood that a woodchuck could
Posted by cleome45 on :
167. A performance of "Beyond The Sea," entirely with semaphore flags.
Posted by cleome45 on :
168. Leave the gun, but take the cannoli.
[ January 02, 2012, 08:10 PM: Message edited by: cleome45 ]
Posted by Ram Boy on :
169. Practice kissing a rock so that he'll be totally prepared if he ever meets Blarney Stone at a pub.
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
170. Eat all the lasagna in the world.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
171. Stand on his head and chant OM.
Posted by Quislet, Esq on :
quote:Originally posted by Ram Boy: 169. Practice kissing a rock so that he'll be totally prepared if he ever meets Blarney Stone at a pub.
Forget Blarney Stone. I'm waiting for Dag Wentim.
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
172. Ask Stone Boy out on a date. Get him to say yes by agreeing to polish his entire body.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
173. Regain his long-lost title as karaoke champ of Jamaica Plain.
Posted by cleome45 on :
174. Join the march to Topsy-Turvy.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
175. Finally give up hope that Betamax will be making a comeback.
Posted by cleome45 on :
176. The latest steps to do The Frug, and The Shimmy, and The Suzy-Q!
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
177. Road trip to Ottumwa, Iowa, in hopes of finding his idol, Gary Burghoff.
Posted by Fanfic Lady on :
178. Jump up and down on one leg while singing the theme song to "Hello, Larry."
Posted by cleome45 on :
179. The Dew™.
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
180. Threeboot Ultra Boy.
Well, he IS kind of dense...
Posted by cleome45 on :
181. Invent the lowfat, vegan Napoleon pastry, and then actually dupe some poor sap into trying it.
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![[shrug]](graemlins/shrug.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[LOL]](graemlins/lol.gif)
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