2. doesn't have a goatee at all
Posted by Lardi on :
3. kidnapped the Lindbergh baby
Posted by Dev Em on :
4. Smells like potatoes.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
5. Once was kidnapped by the first clone of the Lindbergh baby
Posted by Lardi on :
6. Cloned the Lindbergh baby numerous times
Posted by dedman on :
7. Hates the Sabres
Posted by Lardi on :
8. So therefore, cloned his kidnapper Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
9. Engaged in years long love affair with Alan Moore's Beard (and the fourth and most evil clone of the Lindbergh baby)
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
10. So freaky this thread is getting posts faster than it takes LMBers to count
Posted by Dev Em on :
11. Loves running around nekid in the snow.
Posted by Lardi on :
12. Was the actual father of the Lindbergh baby
Posted by Lardi on :
13. Died for your sins
Posted by dedman on :
13. Rides a wild stallion called petunia everywhere he goes
Posted by dedman on :
14. tried to assassinate Rob Liefeld
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
15. Floosie
Posted by dedman on :
16. Shameless Hussy
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
17. Eats peanut butter off of lady's...shoulders?
Posted by Lardi on :
quote:Originally posted by Lardi: 13. Died for your sins
18. Or maybe just for the Lindbergh baby's
Posted by Lardi on :
quote:Originally posted by Lardi:
quote:Originally posted by Lardi: 13. Died for your sins
18. Or maybe just for the Lindbergh baby's
19. Or maybe just for the sins of its clones. Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
20. Hove fetish
Posted by Lardi on :
21. Covets Cobie's sheep
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
22. Manipulated Fart Girl into being one of his many sex workers. R. Kelly is her biggest client.
Posted by Lardi on :
23. Founded NAMBLA
Posted by Dev Em on :
24. Takes candy from babies.
Posted by Lardi on :
25. ...before kidnapping and cloning them!
Posted by Dev Em on :
26. ...and hiding them in Alan Moore's beard.
Posted by dedman on :
27. Wears silk thongs
Posted by MLLASH on :
Loves Funyuns.... and I mean LOVES them...
Posted by Lardi on :
29. Not only loves Funyuns but CREATED them!
Posted by Lardi on :
quote:Originally posted by Lardi: 29. Not only loves Funyuns but CREATED them!
30. The secret ingredient? Yep, Lindbergh baby!
Posted by MLLASH on :
Created Funyuns to LOVE them-- and I mean REALLY love them!
Posted by Dev Em on :
32. Will never, ever go to the Hootchie Hut for a good time.
Posted by Sarcasm Kid on :
33. Gave Rob Liefeld his first job in the comic industry.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
34. When he goes to dinner he asks for all the extra fat in the kitchen and then takes his date to the bathroom and uses it as lube.
Posted by Dev Em on :
35. Dates the large Hero know as Hefty Henrietta.
Posted by dedman on :
36. Watchs the Jersey Shore
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
37. Could easily come up with 10,001 ways to make buffalo wing sauce freaky.
Posted by Dev Em on :
38. Likes deep sea diving without the gear.
Posted by dedman on :
39. Enjoys "bareback" riding with random strangers
Posted by cleome on :
40. Created me, after his therapist advised him to get in touch with his feminine side.
Posted by cleome on :
41. Only assumes a gender when "he" wants to go slumming, much like Threeboot Chameleon.
[ March 04, 2010, 04:21 PM: Message edited by: cleome ]
Posted by cleome on :
42. Resurrected Douglas Adams as a zombie. Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
42. Owns a Gil Disphan strip club
Posted by dedman on :
43. Once worked as an elephant 'fluffer'
Posted by cleome on :
45. Made Cobie make me see double. (Tsk! Cobie!!)
Posted by dedman on :
46. Is the real life inspiration for "family Guy"'s Quagmire character
Posted by Dev Em on :
47. Is the only person to actually beat Chuck Norris in thumb wrestling.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
48. If he grew only a moustache rather than his trademark goatee, all male porn stars would consider him their version of the Emperor.
Posted by dedman on :
49. Is the only man to have ever have 'satisfied' Jenna Jamieson and Jesse Jane
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
50. That snake that bit Cleopatra and Marc Anthony? A time-traveling Lou whose orgy antics went horribly wrong.
Posted by dedman on :
51. Alan moore's beard...a hair transplant from Lou!
Posted by Dev Em on :
52. He once drank an ocean dry, thinking it was beer.
Posted by dedman on :
53. Invented S&M
Posted by cleome on :
54. Runs a black ops org where everyone has to dress like Lady Gaga.
Posted by Lardi on :
55. Goes clubbing with baby seals.
Posted by dedman on :
56. Invented electricity
Posted by Stealth on :
57. Wrote Debbie Gibson's "Electric Youth."
Posted by Dev Em on :
58. Is Lady Gaga.
Posted by Stealth on :
59. When English people mention the "loo", he thinks they're talking about him.
Posted by Lardi on :
60. His poop don't smell! Posted by Stealth on :
(How do you know that, Lardi? Wait, don't answer that.)
61. Joins Non Sequitor for games of strip poker.
Posted by Lardi on :
62. Carries around samples of his poop, so he can demonstrate that it don't smell! Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
63. Is the love child of Dwight D Eisenhower and Charo.
Posted by Dev Em on :
64. Has known the ending to Lost since for 17 years.
Posted by cleome on :
65. Convinced Paul Davis to embark upon a music career instead of going into the plumbing business.
Posted by dedman on :
66. Wrote all of Metallica's song up until the Black Album
Posted by Stealth on :
(Except for Dave Mustaine's songs on Kill 'Em All)
67. Gave Ministry's Al Jourgensen his "industrial boogeyman" makeover.
Posted by dedman on :
68. Was secretly the trainer for all the olypmic medalists
Posted by Stealth on :
69. Eats medals like they were cookies.
Posted by Dev Em on :
70. Decided to let Chuck Norris take the "mythic" status, so someone else could enjoy the spotlight.
Posted by Stealth on :
71. Was Chuck Norris's acting coach.
Posted by Dev Em on :
72. Taught Bruce Lee all his moves.
Posted by Stealth on :
73. Taught Jackie Chan to be "funny." Posted by Dev Em on :
74. Taught Michael Jordan how to play basketball.
Posted by dedman on :
74. IS the real director of the 'Peter Jackson' movies
Posted by Stealth on :
75. Is secretly Michael Bay. Posted by Lardi on :
76. Is secretly Megan Fox.
Posted by Stealth on :
77. Is secretly Shia LeBoeuf. Posted by Lardi on :
78. Is secretly Bumblebee.
Posted by Stealth on :
(Hey! I adore Bumblebee! Okay, only the classic animated version. I couldn't care less about the live-action version.)
79. Performed Jon Voight's facelifts.
Posted by dedman on :
80. Performed the facelifts in "face-off"
Posted by Stealth on :
81. Peformed John Travolta's real-life facelifts.
Posted by Dev Em on :
81. Did "that" to Mickey Rourke.
Posted by Stealth on :
82. Was Mickey Rourke's hygiene consultant.
Posted by Lardi on :
83. Helped conceal Mickey Roarke's secret identity of Rob Liefeld.
Posted by dedman on :
84. Helped conceal Superman's secret idenity of Clark Kent
Posted by Lardi on :
85. Helped conceal Superman being secretly gsy.
Posted by dedman on :
86. is an unabashed Bi-Beer smuggler
Posted by cleome on :
87. Takes a drink each and every time one of us posts the words "Rob Liefeld."
Posted by dedman on :
88. Is the mastermind behind WetaWorkshop
Posted by cleome on :
89. Jumps out of Lard Lad's birthday cake at 4 PM ET today.
Posted by Dev Em on :
90. Wrote all of George Carlins routines.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
91. Son of Ameila Earhardt
Posted by Dev Em on :
92. Gave Alan Moore the ending to Watchmen.
Posted by Disdemona on :
93. Forget Miley Cyrus; He's the REAL Hannah Montana
Posted by kidflash2fan on :
94. refuses to drink milk
Posted by Stealth on :
95. Eats pickles brined in urine -- WAIT A MINUTE, THAT'S NOT A PICKLE!! Posted by dedman on :
96. Wrote the erotic version of "War and Peace"
Posted by cleome on :
97. Wrote the vanilla version of "9 1/2 Weeks."
Posted by Stealth on :
98. Wrote the chocolate version of "The Odd Couple."
Posted by dedman on :
99. Writes slash fiction starring Cobie and Lardi
Posted by Stealth on :
100. Writes pornography starring Gladys the Sentient Disco Ball. Posted by dedman on :
101. Is the Father of Gladys' child!
Posted by Dev Em on :
102. Dresses in Gladys' clothes.
Posted by dedman on :
103. Sparkles in the sunlight
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
104. Wears a purple wig on Sundays.
Posted by dedman on :
104. Is a time-traveller
Posted by Dev Em on :
105. Can walk through walls.
Posted by cleome on :
106. Flosses own teeth with heavy-duty fishing line.
Posted by Dev Em on :
107. Once sucker punched a valley and turned it into a mountain.
Posted by Lardi on :
108. Wrote the zombie apocalypse version of "The English Patient".
Posted by cleome on :
109. Is really that "lost" Super-Friends sidekick that nobody talks about. Posted by dedman on :
110. Worked a brief stint as aqualad
Posted by Lardi on :
111. Invented internet porn.
Posted by dedman on :
quote:Originally posted by Lardi: 111. Invented internet porn.
112. And stars in most of it
Posted by Dev Em on :
113. Was asked to join Monty Python as a wee lad.
Posted by Stealth on :
114. Was the inspiration for the Minister of Silly Walks.
Posted by dedman on :
115. Once shot a wild Fandango
Posted by Stealth on :
116. Wrote the lyrics to the most over-the-top section of Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody."
Posted by dedman on :
117. sang in a babershopshop quartet...and he was the only member
Posted by Loser Lad on :
One of these "freaky lies" about me is absolutely true. I'll leave you all to speculate about which one that is.
Posted by Lardi on :
*cough* Lindbergh baby *cough*
Posted by Dev Em on :
Definitely.
Posted by cleome on :
118. Runs a naturopath's kiosk at the Washington Square mall.
Posted by dedman on :
119. Dressed in drag once and became the inspiration for "Superfreak"
Posted by cleome on :
120. Dressed me in drag once and hypnotized me into starring in his roller-disco stage musical version of Svengali.
Posted by dedman on :
121. Is the official monk flogger of Legionworld
Posted by cleome on :
122. And its official flonk monger, too!
Posted by dedman on :
123. And its old fishmonger
Posted by Dev Em on :
124. Once flogged a fish .
Posted by dedman on :
125. When he swims the Sharks are afriad of him!
Posted by Dev Em on :
126. Does not have any alt. id's on Legion World.
Posted by cleome on :
127. Half-Durlan, on Mom's side.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
128. Actually has two penis's
Posted by dedman on :
129. Can wash dishes for hours and never get dishpan hands
Posted by cleome on :
130. Kisses frogs
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
131. Original Broadway cast member of The Full Monty.
Posted by Lardi on :
132. Can wash dishes for hours and never get dishpan penis(es).
Posted by SharkLad on :
133. Lost the role of "Precious" to Gabourey Sidibe after he went on Jenny Craig
Posted by Abin Quank on :
132a. Note to self, Never, Ever eat at Lardi's place...
Posted by cleome on :
134. Eats at Lardi's place at least once a week.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
135. His true-to-life biopic, Jumanji, is often mistaken for fiction.
Posted by dedman on :
136. Was the inspiration for Sauron
Posted by Lardi on :
137. Was the inspiration for Gollum, Precious.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
138. Rents out his third nipple as a condo for Ray Palmer.
Posted by Loser Lad on :
quote:Originally posted by Dev Em: 126. Does not have any alt. id's on Legion World.
Believe it or not, this is 100% true.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
139. The guy who just posted as Loser Lad is not Loser Lad.
Posted by cleome on :
140. Nobody knows what the "L" really stands for. Posted by dedman on :
141. once partied like it was 1999
Posted by cleome on :
142... and stuck Universo with the bill on New Year's Day, 3087.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
4,959. Occasionally tricks posters into posting freaky lies about him out of order (through usage of sex & drugs)
Posted by cleome on :
144. Has brains he hasn't even used yet... and they're all in individual Mason jars in his root cellar.
Posted by dedman on :
145. Put the Boom in Boom Shakka Lakka
Posted by Lardi on :
146. Invented penises
Posted by cleome on :
147. Put the "lean" in the Leaning Tower
Posted by cleome on :
148. Is an omnivore, but eats Tofurkey just for the taste of it! Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
7,503. Once dated a bearded lady at the cirus just trick her into shaving it so his goatee would reign as the most badass in all the world.
Posted by Dev Em on :
150. Made this post.
Posted by Lardi on :
151. Is unimpressed with the number of women Tiger Woods has bedded.
Posted by Everyday Girl on :
152. Ohmygod! Mr Loser is just the like nicest and sweetest guy, He's like an old fashioned Gentlemen who would never even like think of taking advantage of a rather naive young girl.
He like told me so...
Last Night...
[giggle]
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
^153. Loser Lad may partially be responsible for Everday Girl's recent more girl-ish behavior? Ipso facto, may be responsible for all the roleplaying chaos that will ensue at the LW Prom?
Posted by dedman on :
154. Cried during Titanic
Posted by cleome on :
155. Laughed during Schindler's List Posted by Fat Cramer on :
156. Went on a road trip with Jack Kerouac, but asked that his name be kept out of the book.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
157. Dennis Hopper's character in Blue Velvet based on him but toned down for audiences.
Posted by Officer Taylor on :
158. Was the inspiration for Love Sausage of The Boys.
Posted by dedman on :
159. Is the reason the west was called "wild, wild"
Posted by Set on :
160. Was the inspiration for the three original Ghostbusters, but they had to split the role up between Dan Akroyd, Bill Murray and Harold Ramis to make it more believable.
Posted by Officer Taylor on :
161. Was the inspiration for Slimer.
Posted by dedman on :
162. Was the inspiration for "Hellraiser" Posted by cleome on :
163. Was the inspiration for Chicago's "You're The Inspiration"
Posted by cleome on :
164. Sweet-talked Stealth into wearing flannel, but only once
Posted by Deirdre on :
(Really? I'll have to get her to show me a picture of that!)
165. Sweetens all his drinks with molasses.
Posted by Officer Taylor on :
166. Had a third nipple removed, so Satan would leave him alone!
Posted by Stealth on :
(Okay, so I wanted to feel like a cowgirl for a moment. Jeez.)
167. Held religious ceremonies in a public restroom.
Posted by Officer Taylor on :
(Get a ROOM, ladies! )
168. Passed off toilet water as holy water.
Posted by Stealth on :
(We'll be at the Sanctuary the rest of the night. If the house is a-rockin', don't come a-knockin'. )
169. Inspired the scene in Borat where the title character splashes toilet water on his face.
Posted by cleome on :
170. Was the real inspiration for the hit song "Windy."
Posted by Officer Taylor on :
171. Worships all things by the band Air Supply.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
172. Is to blame for the Leafs' track record.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
173. Was the guy who came up with the idea of Bevis & Butthead doing a duet with Cher.
Posted by cleome on :
174. Likes his sex partners the way he likes his broccoli: raw and organic!
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
quote:Originally posted by Cobalt Kid: 173. Was the guy who came up with the idea of Bevis & Butthead doing a duet with Cher.
wouldn't that be a trio?
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
175. Is responsible for New Kids on the Block getting back together.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
176. His milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard.
Posted by Officer Taylor on :
177. And DAMN RIGHT, it's better than yours!
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
178. regularly passes himself off as a health inspector in order to score free meals and bribes at restaurants.
Posted by Officer Taylor on :
179. Once met a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
180. Doesn't know the name of the other leg.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
181. Produced all those awful celebrity plastic surgery specials on the E! channel.
Posted by Dev Em on :
182. Laughs at all of Oties jokes.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
183. Produces and stars in The Real Housewives of Buffalo.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
184. Once chugged a whole bottle of pancake batter during sex
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
185. Speaks fluent Klingon, but only when no one else is listening.
Posted by Officer Taylor on :
186. Can turn invisible as long as no one is watching.
Posted by cleome on :
187. World's first licensed itinerant slam poet.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
188. Invented the electric comb.
Posted by cleome on :
189. Founded the Electric Prunes
Posted by cleome on :
190. Is the only LMB stalwart who refused to pinch MLLASH.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
191. Fought the law. Won.
Posted by Kent on :
192. Fought Monsanto. Lost.
Posted by cleome on :
193. Turns into a Pachinko machine when the moon is full.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
194. Once dated a girl named King Kong
Posted by Officer Taylor on :
195. Once dated King Kong!
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
196. Rebound sex with undead zombie Kong
Posted by Officer Taylor on :
quote:Originally posted by Officer Taylor: 195. Once dated King Kong!
197. Godzilla was JEALOUS!
Posted by Officer Taylor on :
198. Once had a three-way with King Kong and the Lindbergh baby.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
199. He's in Singapore right now.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
200. Is on a secret mission for CONTROL
201. There is no lie #201
Posted by Kent on :
202. has a fetish involving mailboxes.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
203. Can telekinetically manipulate shrimp cocktails.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
204. Gained that ability after eating a radioactive shrimp cocktail.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
205. Secretly loves the taste of radioactive shrimp cocktail. With lemon.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
206. First had radioactive shrimp cocktail at a party at my place.
Posted by Kent on :
207. Decorates his dark apartment with radioactive shrimp and radioactive exotic fauna in an effort to replicate the imagery of Pandora at night.
Posted by cleome on :
208. Knows who'll stop the rain, but won't tell.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
209. Was the Yoko Ono figure for Creedence Clearwater Revival.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
210. Once brought CCR to a hippie-commune for LSD-fueled orgies and it ended up smelling like radioactive shrimp cocktail.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
211. His hangovers cause earthquakes on alternate Earths.
Posted by Kent on :
212. Was coerced into testifying against Mumia by crooked cops.
Posted by cleome on :
213. Was the "Holiday On Ice" understudy for Scott Hamilton between 1999 and 2004. Scott still sends him cards at Xmas.
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
214. Is responsible for all the homo-erotic dialog by Batman.
Posted by Kent on :
215. Is hard at work on a secret plan that will not only stop the oil leak, but will put BP behind bars forever.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
216. Was arrested in 2005 for trying to re-color the Sistine Chapel.
Posted by cleome on :
217. Invented painting on velvet.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
218. Had a profitable sideline training dogs to play poker.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
219. Eats hostess fruit pies
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
220. Is the in-house model for the Grimm's Fairy Tales comic covers.
Posted by cleome on :
221. Is the lost Zappa offspring.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
222. Designed the papal wardrobe.
Posted by Kent on :
223. He snores to the tune of famous classical music concertos.
Posted by dedman on :
quote:Originally posted by Kent: 223. He snores to the tune of famous classical music concertos.
my wife does that!!
i kid kid!!!
224 shaves his goatee for the 4th of july
Posted by Gruertis Nyebif on :
225. Grows back in the mustache only.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
226. Taught Gene Simmons the whole blood-spitting and fire-breathing thing.
Posted by Space Ranger on :
227. has a tongue 20% bigger than Gene Simmons'.
Posted by Kent on :
228. Made his millions smuggling Canadian maple syrup over the border, but lost his fortune speculating in maglev futures.
Posted by cleome on :
229. Once carved a life-sized statue of Wayne Gretzky entirely out of Coast soap.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
230. Immanentized the Eschaton. Twice.
Posted by cleome on :
231. Attended High School with both Yildiray Cinar AND Thomas Fatsi!
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
232. Smells like eggs
Posted by cleome on :
233. Smuggles bootleg Sudafed across the WA-OR border to aid the unfortunates on the latter's side.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
234. Loves scrap-booking. Usually with cut-outs from old pornos from the 30's.
Posted by Chief Taylor on :
235. Invented boobs.
Posted by Kent on :
236. Is responsible for Easter Island.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
237. Used his trained bees to attack commercial aircraft over the Phillippines.
Posted by Kent on :
238. Sends reprints of himself to work when he just can be bothered to show up.
Posted by future king on :
Actually captured a baby Bigfoot last year and is now training it to answer questions for the planned media press conference in 2018.
Posted by future king on :
Ooops, forgot to add the #239 before that one! Posted by cleome on :
240. Taught cats and dogs to live together!
Posted by Kent on :
241. In league with the Resource Raiders.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
242. Invented the Twinkie, initially as a self-defense weapon.
Posted by Kent on :
243. Caused James Sherman to quit.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
244. Childhood the basis for the "Family Circus" strip. Don't hold it against him.
Posted by Lad Boy on :
245. Drives a Citroen
Posted by future king on :
246. Is responsible for influencing Jim Carrey's choices on his last four movies (all bad ones).
Posted by Kent on :
247. has magnetic eyes, which he uses to lure poor, innocent satellites into crashing into lakes.
Posted by SharkLad on :
248. Once turned down a threeway with Winona Ryder and Ursula Andress
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
249. His DNA was used to create Justin Bieber, the Jonas Brothers, and approximately 27% of all American Idol entrants.
Posted by Kent on :
250. Went crazy and built a fiery monster that destroyed most of Metropolis.
Posted by cleome on :
251. Is dressing up for Halloween as Bizarro Lois Lane.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
252. Was Fletcher Hanks' muse.
Posted by Kent on :
253. Is actually off on a secret mission for the Bureau of Tea Experts!
(a real govt agency, btw. nothing to do with the tea party)
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
254. Owns the Crayola company.
Posted by future king on :
255. Visits Stonehenge on a regular basis where he's organizing a neopaganism revival.
Posted by Kent on :
256. Figured out in 2003 the best way to time travel is to stop observing Leap Day. He is currently two days in the future ahead of us, and making a killing on the stock market.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
257. Has developed a tremendous fear of the date 12/19/2012
Posted by future king on :
258. Puts cheese AND ketchup on his crackers, just to be the rebel.
Posted by Kent on :
259. Left the LMBP, mindwiped for his own protection, but at least he gets his own series out of it.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
260. Scripted every episode of the Saturday morning classic "Run, Joe, Run"
Posted by Kent on :
261. Played in the Tonight Show Band on and off through the 1990s.
Posted by future king on :
262. Is secrectly the 8th dwarf from the 'Snow White' lore ... seperated at birth.
Posted by Kent on :
263. Is working on a secret plot against Abin Quank.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
264. Giggles to himself in a smug, weirdly sexual way everytime he sees we haven't even done 1,000 of these yet!
Posted by Kent on :
265. is serving a six-month sentence for public lewdness in the Netherlands. Now ask yourself exactly how far one has to go to even get charged, let alone convicted, of that in Holland!
Posted by future king on :
266. Secretly coaches Caesar Milan in the best ways to rear bitches.
Posted by cleome on :
quote:Originally posted by Kent: 263. Is working on a secret plot against Abin Quank.
Yeah, but who isn't nowadays.... Posted by cleome on :
267. Treasures a framed, life-size velvet painting of Cher, commissioned from a famous ex-Legion artist whose name cannot be disclosed due to legal issues.
Posted by future king on :
268. Started a chain letter back in 1982 which is still circulating to this day.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
269. Has his own genre of porn on the internet. It's called "German". Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
270. Is The Ferret Whisperer.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
271. Eats slugs
Posted by Chief Taylor on :
272. Knows exactly what Cobalt meant about giggling to himself in a in a smug, weirdly sexual way.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
273. ^ and knows by experience
Posted by Chief Taylor on :
274. Also has the power to make others experience giggling to oneself in a in a smug, weirdly sexual way, so they will then know by experience.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
275. Has memorized the Edict of Nantes.
Posted by Kent on :
276. Can sing "Oops! I Did It Again" in fluent Estonian.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
277. Is current favorite to play The Horta in next Star Trek movie.
Posted by future king on :
278. Is recording a Gregorian Chant music album, and touring shortly thereafter.
Posted by cleome on :
279. Ate one of those KFC "double down" whatsits twice a day all last month-- and LIVED TO TELL!
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
280. Invented the Golf Channel, initially as a cure for insomnia.
Posted by Chief Taylor on :
281. Founded MENSA.
Posted by future king on :
282. Owns and breeds exotic camels.
Posted by Chief Taylor on :
283. Invented cameltoe.
Posted by Kent Hell Pmyes Elf on :
284. lost $500,000 in his failed attempt to get frog racing onto prime time television.
Posted by cleome on :
285. Likes Hoboken in the Autumn, when it drizzles.
Posted by Kent Hell Pmyes Elf on :
286. Is doing six shows weekly at the Taj Mahal Casino in Atlantic City.
Posted by cleome on :
286a. Accompanying Peaches on her whirlwind Vegas/Reno mini-tour. You'll never look at a tambourine the same way again!!
Posted by Chief Taylor on :
286b. Sullied the boardwalk over there in unmentionable ways.
Posted by future king on :
287. Is solely responsible for naked fire-walking making a strong comeback in equitorial island nations.
Posted by cleoMeLASH on :
288. Is the model hired to portray that "K**th St*n*" dude on all those cheesy beer billboards.
It's a living, right?
Posted by Lucifer07 on :
Taught Glen Quagmire all he knows.
Posted by future king on :
289. Once bought up all the bread in a town he was visiting just to piss off the residents.
Posted by Hrista Spjóti on :
290. ...and paid for it in Confederate dollars.
Posted by future king on :
291. Makes old fashioned flap jacks using yak's milk.
Posted by Chief Tay-LASH on :
292. Tucks it in.
Posted by Hrista Spjóti on :
293. is single-handedly responsible for 39.6% of all pollution in the Great Lakes.
Posted by Chief Tay-LSH on :
294. Is a Servant of Darkness.
Posted by future king on :
295. Makes up for with cartilage what he's lacking in bone.
Posted by cLSHeome on :
296. Sends Pov a dozen pairs of pants every Xmas.
Posted by Hrista Spjóti on :
297. Lives in an extra-dimensional realm inhabited by forgotten/disused comic book characters where reality changes to fit his imagination. He is the lord and master of The Losing.
Posted by cLSHeome on :
298. Eats spaghetti with a spoon. Successfully.
Posted by Chief Tay-LSH on :
299. Scratch-off shavings are manufactured from his dried-up sperm.
Posted by future king on :
300. Was born with some minor animal markings, which he's since had covered with fashionable tatoos.
Posted by Hrista Spjóti on :
301. Is secretly the father of at least one member of the Legion of Super-Heroes.
Posted by Chief Tay-LSH on :
302. Invented K-Y Jelly.
Posted by Hrista Spjóti on :
303. constructs elaborate and improbable headquarters for supervillains: inside volcanoes, glaciers, etc, deep under the sea or even inside clouds. Also helps said villains to line up tour operators to visit these exotic locations, thus helping offset the enormous construction costs.
Posted by future king on :
304. Has been known to use a common zipper as a self-defense weapon.
Posted by Hrista Spjóti on :
305. Moved over the border and changed his handle to "future king."
Posted by cLSHeome on :
306. Has been scarce on the LMB because he's busy knitting us all bustiers to wear to the annual office party.
Posted by Chief Tay-LSH on :
307. Mrs. Claus had an affair with him. (He's firmly on Santa's "naughty" list!)
Posted by future king on :
308. Always flushes the toilet twice.
Posted by Hrista Spjóti on :
309. now teaches Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts.
Posted by future king on :
310. His bff's cousin's father's boss's grandson is none other than Marilyn Manson.
Posted by Hrista Spjóti on :
311. Is so superstitious that he won't even eat human flesh unless it's been consecrated with the tentacles of a Mi-go.
Posted by cleome: secret ozone incense addict on :
312. Is an expert at opening the cereal box from the bottom in order to swipe the prize without actually making a store purchase.
Posted by future king on :
313. Was the one who first came up with the idea for Singamajigs.
[ November 22, 2010, 06:30 AM: Message edited by: future king ]
Posted by Chief Tay-LSH on :
314. Is heir to the throne of Latveria.
Posted by Lucifer07 on :
Has a timeshare in the Negative Zone that he rents out to Rockhopper
Posted by future king on :
316. Frequently replaces lost souls with chocolate.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
317. Is the host of Real World / Road Rules Challenges.
Posted by Chief Lardy on :
318. Quit Survivor once because his nipples were sore. Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
319. Quit DnA's Legion because lack of sore nipples in the heroines.
Posted by future king on :
320. Recently wrote an update to the best-seller book "Refrigerators For Dummies".
Posted by cleome on :
321. Doesn't visit because he's busy working on a new pitch for the classis PBS show: 321 Contact!
Pov will be the revived show's host.
Posted by Dev Em on :
322. Owes me somewhere in the neighborhood of One Billion dollars.
Posted by future king on :
323. For years he slicked his hair back with what he thought was common hair gel.
Posted by cleome on :
324. Figured out cold fusion but he never ever told a soul...
Click Here For A Spoiler...Apart from Charles Nelson Reilly, of course. Posted by cleome45 on :
325. His storied career on a Detroit assembly line was the real inspiration for the late Johnny Cash's "One Piece At A Time."
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
326. Once had his buttcheek pierced.
Posted by Catonyx on :
327. He's all that .... but he actually ate the chips!
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
328. He still hasn't recovered from seeing Quis' one-man production of 'Cabaret.'
Posted by cleome45 on :
329. Beat out both Karl Rove AND Rahm Emanuel for the title of "Meanest Man In North America."
Posted by Kid Charlemagne on :
330. He was convicted twice of square dancing in a roundhouse. Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
331. His snoring is grounds for charges of public indecency in at least 12 states.
Posted by He Who Wanders on :
332. He was also convicted of using harsh words in a speakeasy.
(with apologies to W.C. Fields) Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
333. He's an illegal Carggian immigrant!
Posted by He Who Wanders on :
334. He's waiting until we post all 10,001 lies before he posts again.
Posted by cleome45 on :
335. Currently pitching his off-Broadway musical version of "A Modest Proposal."
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
336. Hiding in embarrassment after hosting a party gone wrong; he did not realize finger-foods/finger-sandwiches were not literal terms.
Posted by Kid Charlemagne on :
[ May 21, 2012, 03:43 AM: Message edited by: Kid Charlemagne ]
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
338. His drag name is: Lisa Lampanelli.
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
339. He's his own father.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
340. Canoes the tributaries of the Mississippi looking for his lost python Sammie.
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
341. Paints his toenails a different color every day.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
342. Makes lists of different sets of three-digit numbers that all add up to nine.
Posted by cleome45 on :
343. The only living mortal who can sing all the lyrics to Weird Al's "Hardware Store" straight through without using a cheat sheet.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
344. He has the inside dirt on that thing chained up in Quislet's basement.
Posted by cleome45 on :
345. Invented chipotles.
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
346. Can't post because he forgot his login password.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
347. He likes pine trees. In a kinky way.
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
348. He never takes off his shirt in public because the spots on his back form a skull-and-crossbones and spell out "I killed your great-great-great grandfather".
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
349. when he's out, he tips waitstaff with chocolate-covered bacon instead of cash.
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
350. He flosses his teeth with porcupine quills. To make them slide in easily, he uses efficascent oil.
Posted by cleome45 on :
351. Is composing an opera based on the Pete Rose scandal.
Posted by cleome45 on :
352. His favorite Funny Face character was Way-Out Watermelon. All attempts to make this his legal name have been rebuffed by authorities in his home state.
The Supreme Court will be hearing his petition to overturn the rejection later this year.
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