universe terrible danger The is in.
Posted by Raging Bull on :
I think you're outta luck, Mr. (Miss?) Semi-Incomprehensible.
I have it on good authority that STU has left the building, so I hope the fate of the universe isn't dependent on him for some reason.
Posted by LardLad on :
<via communique>
Bull, STU has been implicated by at least one witness to the assassination attempt on Cobalt? Are you certain STU is gone? If so, what of the alt-dimension STUs who were also around months ago?
Posted by Raging Bull on :
STU went into a door in the air with the Deus Ex Machine in hand, and ain't nobody knows where he went. If I recall, one of the other STUs returned to his own board after the "LMBP of 3 Boards" event ended, and the other retired permanently from posting -- far as I know, he's enjoying his retirement in STU's Mansion with a big stack o' books, comics, and DVDs.
Somebody tried to assassinate Cobalt? I'd bet dollars to doughnuts that it's some scorned lady...
Posted by LardLad on :
Transcript of what Ex told me and Rocky:
quote:Originally posted by Exnihil: It was the campaign... the stress got to me. I saw a real chance to bring change to Legion World. To usher in a new age... an age of LARD!
It was then when he approached me. No one would get hurt, he said... it was just a harmless "Penetra-Ventriloquism" dart. I was to stand in the crowd as Cobie was making his announcement and, at the key moment, fire the dart. Then he would be ours. We would control the content of rest of Cobie's speech, I intended on having him issue an endorsement of your campaign.
But just as I fired... that's when I saw him. On the grassy knoll... the same one who had approached me...
The Second Shooter!
quote:Originally posted by Exnihil: At first I didn't recognize him... it had been a while.
He was garbed in a purple cloak and said he was a member of an elite cabal. I asked what I should call him, and he just grinned.
"I suppose you could say I'm just 'in time'," he laughed.
"Justin Thyme?" I asked, thinking that was an odd name for a "Second Shooter."
Then it dawned on me who he was. It was the last member to join the elite ranks of Legion World Time Trappers. He was literally, "Just In Time."
As god is my witness, Lardy... it was STU!
Posted by Raging Bull on :
So... it was Exnihil who pointed the finger at STU, eh?
I ain't so sure that dawg can be trusted. Word on the street is, lots a dirty favors were exchanged behind the scenes at his little Survivor game show. And I don't mean money kind a favors... ya catch my drift?
Say... who was it won that game anyway?
Posted by LardLad on :
quote:Originally posted by Raging Bull: So... it was Exnihil who pointed the finger at STU, eh?
I ain't so sure that dawg can be trusted. Word on the street is, lots a dirty favors were exchanged behind the scenes at his little Survivor game show. And I don't mean money kind a favors... ya catch my drift?
Say... who was it won that game anyway?
...er...
Posted by Raging Bull on :
Ya know the challenge where the contestants had to keep their hands on a pole for over two hours?
Word got out that the "pole" in question weren't no whittled stick... it was a part of Jeff Proty's anatomy.
Posted by Yellow Kid on :
Can I borrow your Bizarro to Interlac translator disc? I've never bothered to install it on my Omnicom, never thought I'd need it. I mean I haven't run across a bizarro since sometime back in the reboot. What the heck is this guy trying to say?
Posted by Numbnuts the Semi-Incomprehensible on :
quote:Originally posted by Raging Bull: I think you're outta luck, Mr. (Miss?) Semi-Incomprehensible.
I have it on good authority that STU has left the building, so I hope the fate of the universe isn't dependent on him for some reason.
all STU recognize forms. can I
Bull Raging. course STU, are know I of you
help need I save to the universe. your
Chia Elephant!!! STU summon must We
Posted by Numbnuts the Semi-Incomprehensible on :
quote:Originally posted by Yellow Kid: Can I borrow your Bizarro to Interlac translator disc? I've never bothered to install it on my Omnicom, never thought I'd need it. I mean I haven't run across a bizarro since sometime back in the reboot. What the heck is this guy trying to say?
fool? Are you cross Simply eyes your read backwards. and a
Posted by Helena Handbasket on :
quote:Originally posted by Yellow Kid: Can I borrow your Bizarro to Interlac translator disc? I've never bothered to install it on my Omnicom, never thought I'd need it. I mean I haven't run across a bizarro since sometime back in the reboot. What the heck is this guy trying to say?
Mr. Kid, When I had my Dark Circle training, I was schooled in 50 languages, including Bizarro. This is not Bizarro talk.
Posted by Numbnuts the Semi-Incomprehensible on :
STU don't find I soon. If
direct to action. I'll forced take be
<Opens the Big Red Book of Magic...>
Interesting... Now is this
Posted by LardLad on :
<Lardy, Cobalt, Rocky and Yellow Kid 'port in>
Here we are! Anybody see this 'Numbnuts' dude?
Posted by Yellow Kid on :
Aw not a magic book. I hate magic books. "You!" Yellow blurts out. "Back away from the voodoo book and nobody gets hurt...yet"
With a gesture of one hand and an intense scowl a mini-tornada, (dust devil really) around 4 feet high, forms and starts whipping the air. Racing in a circle near it's target the twister was bending and reaching for the pages whipping in the chaotic air. The book lifts slightly upward and twists against NtSI's grip as the air suction tugs it pages flapping wildly.
[ February 28, 2009, 12:05 AM: Message edited by: Yellow Kid ]
Posted by Numbnuts the Semi-Incomprehensible on :
quote:Originally posted by Yellow Kid: Aw not a magic book. I hate magic books. "You!" Yellow blurts out. "Back away from the voodoo book and nobody gets hurt...yet"
With a gesture of one hand and an intense scowl a mini-tornada, (dust devil really) around 4 feet high, forms and starts whipping the air. Racing in a circle near it's target the twister was bending and reaching for the pages whipping in the chaotic air. The book lifts slightly upward and twists against NtSI's grip as the air suction tugs it pages flapping wildly.
<Looks at YK Curiously, then at the dust devil...>
STU. not Your
<Glances at the book and makes a small gesture with his left hand. The dust devil vanishes>
book magic. STU's is This of
he Only use properly. it can
Pagan Cat save limbo. from But to Stoopid Lass and
use will it. I
Find STU. me Help
<Glances at the book again, winks, vanishes>
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
calm down.
have some pudding.
Posted by Yellow Kid on :
Pudding's good.
Lardy, want some? Say, while you do that can you track where this Dumbutz guy went?
Alright, he's got some kind of fixation on Stu. Where can we get our hands on a Stu clone for bait?
Posted by LardLad on :
STU clone? Don't think so, but at one point recently there were some alternate universe STUs running around here. Any one know if some of them stayed behind?
As for Numbnuts...I've got his energy signature, now. should be able to track him.
Gimme a minute.....
<concentrates>
Posted by Yellow Kid on :
Life sized cardboard cutout? He's not real bright that might actually work.
Posted by Numbnuts the Semi-Incomprehensible on :
<Appears, Glances at book, Makes rude gesture, The back of Yello Kid's dress, approximately half way up, catches fire...>
rudeness. appreciate not do I
<Vanishes again>
Posted by Yellow Kid on :
? What kind of Legionnaire doesn't wear a flame retardant costume?
Figures. Discovering fire was a big deal when he was a kid. A lot like the creation of the Fratboy, the hotfoot and the Contract On America.
That bizarro-bot's not only dumb as dirt but he's dangerous too.
Posted by Numbnuts the Semi-Incomprehensible on :
<Realizes that YK is a time traveler who can bounce backward in time to undo recent events... Revises strategy for dealing with him... Consults Book, Places ignore spell on YK... Henceforth and fore with YK will only be seen and heard by posters with an IQ of less than 50... everyone else will see, hear, and smell a yellow goat.>
[ March 01, 2009, 02:49 PM: Message edited by: Numbnuts the Semi-Incomprehensible ]
Posted by Yellow Kid on :
What's with this guy? He blinks in and out like he's a strobe light.
-A medium sized yellow goat stands on it's hind legs and starts to spin in a circle one thought on it's mind-
"I hate time travel. "
-the Spin power swiftly forms that now familiar look of a tornado and the goat disappears in a flash of intense light-
-Reappearing several seconds backward in the time stream the whirling blast of light leaps toward Numbskull the Inscomprehensible jerking his hands away from the page-
"What the..?"
Yellow Kid spins to look behind him and sees a small yellow goat disappear in a familiar flash of light.
"You again?" He reaches toward the sorcerer and a blinding flash of intense yellow light spins forming a whirlwind that immediately leaps toward Dimbulb the Unreadable.
[ March 01, 2009, 02:39 PM: Message edited by: Yellow Kid ]
Posted by Numbnuts the Semi-Incomprehensible on :
<Smiles inscrutibly at YK and gestures at something behind YK as the whirlwind reaches him.>
you. illusion attached to you is, whenever you stop moving thru time it will find The
<Allows the whirlwind to engulf him and vanishes...>
Posted by Yellow Kid on :
The wind rips against the wall tearing a portrait to shreds and slinging the frame across the room to shatter into splinters. It dissipates and a gust of wind blows against everybody's faces.
YK stumbles backward. "What? .. What was that..I saw myself for a second.. like.. like I was in two places at once." He struggles and stumbles again falling to one knee. Breathing hard, sweat drips from his forehead.
"Time travel. Oh yeah, that's it. I've felt this before. Oh man, never travel back to meet yourself."
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Enough! Numbuts, listen to me. STU is gone--you're not going to be able to find him.
And if you're trying to restore Pagan Lass and Stoopid Cat to Legion World, I want to help. They're my friends too. But you need a magic-user to unlock the spells in that book, and our best one is nowhere to be found.
Raging Bull, STU's brother, is also a magic-user. Perhaps he can help? Otherwise, we need to find a magic-uswer ASAP with some real know-how to replace STU's role in this crisis. Or we're in serious trouble. And Pagan is the one we're trying to help so that won't work either.
Time is running out! We need Raging Bull or someone else--but who?
Posted by Numbnuts the Semi-Incomprehensible on :
<Yellow Kid's whirlwind re-appears and dumps Numbnuts unceremoniously on the ground in front of Cobie, he is facing away from him.>
go? did Where you
user! book This too is advanced magic for any but a sorcerer strength far
STU! It must be
Drusilla! only The other strong sorceress enough is
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Dammit...not only do I suddenly feel a migraine setting in because of the way he talks, but he doesn't seem to get it--STU is gone. He's not coming back.
Drusilla? Don't know who that is either...
Pagan can't help since she's the one we're trying to restore, Viv and Opal are long gone, STU is gone...Raging Bull isn't experienced enough...the LMBP Spectre? Is what she uses even considered magic?
Time is running out, I can feel it. Numbnuts, who is Drusilla? If you mean Lardy's wife, I'm sorry to tell you, but she died too.
Posted by Numbnuts the Semi-Incomprehensible on :
path. time and space is there Through a
World. On end one of path is Legion the
Realm. On end other of path the is Variable the
possible. Along the all things are path
Door. open find We must and the
[ March 02, 2009, 03:37 PM: Message edited by: Numbnuts the Semi-Incomprehensible ]
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
<rolls eyes to Lardy>
Ugh...this is going nowhere fast. Are you saying we must go on the Path, Numby? From Legion World to the Variable Realm? If only Vee were here...but he's no where to be found either these days.
We're running out of time and we need a magic-user fast. I have the tiniest amount of magic within me via my healing powers, but its always been a side I've been uncomfortable with. If you can guide us, I'd be willing to follow your lead.
STU is gone, and we need a suitable replacement to weave this spell you're talking about.
Let us find the Doorway soon, before Justin Thyme is able to complete his process and arrive on Legion World once and for all.
Can you take us to the doorway?
Posted by LardLad on :
Crap on a stick! At this rate Justin Thyme's gonna win...
<thinks>
Isn't it weird that we're now bereft of magic users when we need them the most, Des? Hell, I haven't even seen Maxx around lately either. Maybe that figures into Thyme's plan and why he chose now to come back?
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Its really damn weird and can't be an accident. A year or so ago, we had too many magic-users: Viv, Stu, Dru, Maxx, Pagan Lass...hell, everybody and their uncle had magic powers. Now they're all gone...some by accident but surely some by design.
How long has Justin Thyme been planning this, I wonder? Likely for some time, picking and choosing when we were at our weakest and then dividing us further.
We need to get this figured out. Between Space Ranger on our tails and the real enemies moving into position.
Could he mean the Path, Lardy? The one that lead to the Tower during the Five Faces of Death? I've long suspected the true nature of the Tower connected to the natural powers of Legion World, much like the Ancient Wheel. Was there some sort of doorway that I've been unaware of?
<looks around--they are all in a remote corner of Old Town, in the streets of Legionnopolis and by no means secure of safe>
Rocky, you're a magic-user. Could you somehow be able to be the key we need?
Posted by Jailbait Lass on :
<runs towards them all, catching them all off guard>
You're okay! You're alive! Cobie--why didn't you tell me?! Why didn't you find me?!
<eyes go blurry but she wipes them away, still running over>
Oh, thank God...you're okay...
<runs into his arms and hugs him tightly, jumping up so she's completely in his arms>
<as he smiles, she smiles and then the moment over takes her, and she kisses him--hard at first, fiercely...and then softly>
<and kisses him>
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Lolita! I've been looking for you!
<can't help but smile and laugh as she jumps up to hug him and he hugs her back tightly>
I know we left off in a bad way, and I thought you wouldn't want to speak to me again and--
<and suddenly she's kissing him, and he's surprised...but he kisses her back>
<pulling away he smiles; and then he holds her up again and kisses her deeply>
Nice to see you too
Posted by Jailbait Lass on :
<suddenly extremely embarrased, noticing Rockhopper Lad, Yellow Kid, Lard Lad and the incredibly odd Numbnuts the Semi-Incomprehensible>
Um...hi...:blush:
I'm not mad...just glad you're okay...
<sees Lardy>
Glad you're both okay and together again. As it should be, for the LMBP.
You've got to move though. If I found you, Space Ranger will be here soon and he's amassing quite a list of allies.
But Cobie, I have information! I know who the Second Shooter is! No one knows this yet but me and Matlock. The Traveler is active on Legion World!
He's taken over Exnihil! He tried to kill us! He's still got Ex in his control...we need to find him. Whatever you're doing here with this Numbnuts guy needs to happen now, because we need to find Exnihil before he does something else.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Whoa, whoa...slow down.
<looks at Lolita, seeing her again as he did when they first met years ago; when they were more intimate>
So it was Exnihil. Likely he hardly realizes whats happening.
<turns to Numbnuts>
Enough is enough. We need to find this doorway and Rockhopper Lad must be the key. We need to help Pagan Lass complete her spells and restore Stoopid Cat and her to help us battle Justin Thyme.
And then we need to find Exnihil. And I think I might know where he'll be.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
Cobie, to answer your question, I don't know. My powers are limited to the Ice Magic. The one time I tried using it for something else was one of the most painful experiences of my life. Remember that my double, the Evil Emperor Pyngwyn was driven mad, in part, by his use of magic he couldn't really handle. In Pyngwyn society, only the priestly Blue Fairy clan uses magic for other things, and, honestly, even among them, only those in monasteries have any powers to speak of.
If needed, I'll do whatever I can, though.
Posted by LardLad on :
Er, hi Lolita...as for The Path, Des...does that even exist anymore? And I'm pretty sure The Tower itself crumbled or went away or whatever.
<shrugs>
As I see it, we have two options...
<looks at Rocky>...either Rocky uses his magic to try to help us with Numbnuts here, or...<smirks> we get Des and Lolita a room and see if whatever magic they make in THERE is enough! <grins>
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
<grins sheepishly>
Alright, alright...(knew that wasn't going to be snuck past)...
I think you're right though. The Path and the Tower are gone, I know that much. We need to get to this Doorway then.
<turns to Rocky>
The last thing I want is you to get hurt, Rocky, or worse, be driven mad like your duplicate. Maybe if we could lend you some support, share your burden?
I suspect things will pick up now, and we'll be faced with hard decisions.
Posted by LardLad on :
<takes Rocky's hand> I believe in you, Rocky! I know a little about power corrupting, believe me...but I know you're stronger inside than any of us! And if you're not, I'm here to lend whatever strength I can.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
<aside to Lolita>
Speaking of magic...
<they both giggle>
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
Thank you, Lardy.
Maybe, if you lend me some of the Lard Force and Cobie, if you give me some of your energies, I can open this door. One warning: my powers are focussed on ice and snow. Whatever happens, it's going to get very cold here for a while.
Posted by LardLad on :
<glares at Cobalt and Lolita for a second, then turns to Rocky>
We can stand the cold, Roc--Eudyptes...
<waves at Lolita and YK>...stand back, guys. Des and I are going to support Rocky in this. If a portal opens, you two jump in with us--it may not stay open for long! <they move back and Cobalt takes Rocky's other hand>
<the glow of Cobalt's and Lardy's powers surround themselves and Rocky>
You're ON, Rocky!
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
<Rocky bows his head and concentrates as Lardy and Cobie's powers flow into him. As he struggles with all the energy, the temperature around them drops suddenly. Within thirty seconds, they are standing is near-blizzard conditions. Rocky screams in pain as a portal opens.>
"Now!" Cobie shouts.
<Cobie and Lardy leap into the portal, bringing Rocky with them. YK and JBL follow just before the portal closes>.
Posted by Yellow Kid on :
"Whhfff! I can see my breath."
YK glows with a soft yellow light, a side effect of carefully radiating a low level of energy. His outline blurs slightly as his Spin power excites the air around him to warm it up.
"I'm not dressed for winter but I'll make do."
Posted by Numbnuts the Semi-Incomprehensible on :
Understanding the Consequences! Continuously Action Take Why Do You Without
[ March 03, 2009, 04:45 PM: Message edited by: Numbnuts the Semi-Incomprehensible ]
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
...why do you continuously take action without understanding the consequences? Hey, I think I got one!
And the answer is simple. Becuase we're the LMB, by damn.
Now lets hit the tesseracts. I have some experience there...usually with Stoopid Cat fighting monsters and being covered in slime, mud and RJ knows what. And then Rocky--Lardy and I will be there to lend our support.