Vote for me, or I'll eat the monkey! That's a promise!
[ August 27, 2007, 01:49 PM: Message edited by: Lard Lad ]
Posted by Bevis on :
Yeah, as if you won't eat it even if you do win.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
How about you just promise to eat the monkey, regardless?
Posted by Ghost of Numf El on :
... 'cos you know no-one's goig to vote for you anway. Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
But do you have for me to eat while I'm here Lardy?
And that by no means is a chance for an unbridled euphemism!
Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
Sounds like Lardy is trying to horn in on Monkey-Eater Lad's schtick.
Posted by LARDLAD on :
No, if I win, I'll just pet the monkey vigorously Posted by LARDLAD on :
And here are a few words about my opponents using the "frickin'" method:
Kent Shakespeare: a frickin' Dominator! What the hell?!
Actor Lad: he ain't no frickin' Olivier...trust me!
Calamity Monkey: he's a frickin' monkey! To repeat...he's a f-r-i-c-k-i-n' m-o-n-k-e-y!
Winema Wazzo: she's a frickin' witch!
Ghost of Numf-El: he's a frickin' ghost with a bad-frickin' accent!
Tell ya what...you elect me, I'll not only pet the frickin' monkey, I'll also take the frickin' Dominator to the dentist, get the Olivier wannabe real acting lessons, send the witch to Hogwarts and get the ghost exorcised!
Why vote for me? cuz I'm frickin' LARDLAD!!!!
Ain't that a good enough reason??
Posted by LARDLAD on :
Oh, BTW please partake of the oyster shooters at the bar while you're here. I also have three virtual porn holosuites at the ready for your enjoyment!
Posted by Everyday Girl on :
Ohmygod! Hi Mr Lardy Lad! Can I try one of those shooter thingies?
And will you promise not to tell Gramps I peeked into that holo sweat thingie? (I didn't know... Honest! And anyway those had to be special effects, Penguins and girraffes don't even live on tha same continent...)
Posted by ActorLad on :
Actor Lad: he ain't no frickin' Olivier...trust me!
True, I don't even know The Brady Bunch let alone be related to them.
Posted by Ghost of Numf El on :
Sorry, Lardy , but it's against my religion to exercise - press ups and stuff hurt!
Posted by Mekanix on :
quote:Originally posted by LARDLAD: Ghost of Numf-El: he's a frickin' ghost with a bad-frickin' accent!
How do you know his accent's bad, mate? We're all online.
Also, I'm afraid you've offended wannabe Brits everywhere with that one. I can just see the polls dropping now...
[ June 09, 2006, 12:34 PM: Message edited by: Mekanix ]
Posted by LARDLAD on :
Well, he's posted in the past with an accent, an' it was kinda annoying! You know how they write Rogue's accent in the X-Men comics? All that "Ah this" and "Ah that"? It's frickin' annoying!
Ah'm a southerner and ah don't talk like that!
Ooops!
Posted by LARDLAD on :
quote:Originally posted by Ghost of Numf El: Sorry, Lardy , but it's against my religion to exercise - press ups and stuff hurt!
Ah'm, I mean I'm with ya on that issue at least!
Posted by Mekanix on :
Heh, well, you've got real accent sympathy from me now! Good save. Posted by LARDLAD on :
Note to voters: both Actor Lad and Ghosty appear to be voracious punsters (e.g. Olivier/Oliver & exorcise/exercise)---don't you just hate punsters? Brrrr! Posted by LARDLAD on :
Awright! This is my 300th post! Another round of oyster shooters on the house! (and no, they're not spiked with mind-control juice to subvert your vote or anything...geez)
Posted by LARDLAD on :
And a question for the undecided voters (and the ones who are decided but might flip-flop):
What can I do get you to vote for me?
Posted by walkwithcrowds on :
Ice cream.
Irn Bru flavoured ice cream.
I don't know, it must be true what my friends say about me:
"One lick and I'm anybodies"
Posted by LARDLAD on :
quote:Originally posted by walkwithcrowds: Ice cream.
Irn Bru flavoured ice cream.
I don't know, it must be true what my friends say about me:
"One lick and I'm anybodies"
Done! And you've gotta try it in my special holosuite program!
Posted by LARDLAD on :
Can you believe my opponent, KS, thinks I'm too negative? For the record, I love Alt. I.D.s even though I choose not to use any! They're fun!!!
Once again, my platform is basically good food and great sex! What's so negative about that?
And the monkey-eating thing? Not negative at all...just falls under the 'good food' side of my platform!!!
Peace and love!
Posted by dedman on :
food and sex....why Lardy i do believe you've bought yourself a vote Posted by LARDLAD on :
EXCELLENT!!!!!
Anyone else whose vote I can purchase?
[ June 09, 2006, 10:05 PM: Message edited by: LARDLAD ]
Posted by SharkLad on :
I'm listening ...
<splash>
Posted by LARDLAD on :
quote:Originally posted by SharkLad: I'm listening ...
<splash>
Okay, Sharky---howzabout a tank full of nice plump seals? Yummy, huh?
Posted by LARDLAD on :
The polls are almost open...it's time to choose your candidate! It's my fervent hope that you, Legion Worlder, will choose me, your humble servant and resident party-meister.
But if you don't:
VOTE FOR SOMEONE OTHER THAN KENT!!!!
Why?
1) He is, was or pretended for awhile to be a Dominator! You can't trust Dominators!!!
2) The negative campaigning against me...dude has it OUT for me! I pop in a thread and say "hi", the dude's like, "do you want this neanderthal as your leader!" And all I'm doing is saying, "hi" or something!
3) Name-calling! He called me a villain more than once. Like, dude, what the hell? I called him a 'Dominator' because he called himself one.
4) He's telling people, essentially, that he'll rig future outcomes for them! Specifically, he promised Everyday Girl he'd fix it so she'd be prom queen next time! Poor girl practically fainted. If he'll do that, what else will he do?
5)He uses Ambush Bug as his avatar! Dude, did more than, like, 3 people really thing Ambush Bug was funny? (bracing myself for an onslaught of hate on this one)
So if you like mudslinging Dominator Ambush Bug-loving dictators, he's your man...or alien!
But there are three candidates who'd be better choices: myself, the monkey, Actor Lad or Numf. We've run a pretty clean campaign that doesn't breach those 5 above problems. Yes, I had my "frickin' list", but it was a one-off thing I did totally for laughs.
Winema, you say? Dude, her campaign has pretty much been nonexistent. Don't think she really wants it!
Love ya all! Peace!
[ June 11, 2006, 10:10 PM: Message edited by: LARDLAD ]
Posted by Sonnie on :
Very good but what we really want to know is where are all the Rowies? No rowies here? Well you aint got my vote Lardy, sorry matey....
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Negative? I point out a few... lapses in his campaign, and I get characterized as "negative?"
Someone's a bit oversensitive, I think. Or is that a guilty conscience?
Posted by LARDLAD on :
quote:Originally posted by Sonnie: Very good but what we really want to know is where are all the Rowies? No rowies here? Well you aint got my vote Lardy, sorry matey....
Sonnie! Don't LEAVE!! I've got rowies, now!!! I just had to do a little research first!
Here...all the rowies you could ever want!!!!
Posted by LARDLAD on :
quote:Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare: Negative? I point out a few... lapses in his campaign, and I get characterized as "negative?"
Someone's a bit oversensitive, I think. Or is that a guilty conscience?
A few? Dude....
Posted by SharkLad on :
quote:Originally posted by LARDLAD:
quote:Originally posted by SharkLad: I'm listening ...
<splash>
Okay, Sharky---howzabout a tank full of nice plump seals? Yummy, huh?
throw in a couple of penguins and you've got yourself a deal ...
Posted by LARDLAD on :
Done! I even put a few emperor penguins in!
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
Good food and great sex? I wanna hear more.
Posted by Ghost of Numf El on :
quote:Originally posted by LARDLAD: Done! I even put a few emperor penguins in!
# I'm gonna tell Rockhopper Lad! I'm gonna tell Rockhopper Lad!#
Posted by Ghost of Numf El on :
quote:Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac: Good food and great sex? I wanna hear more.
I believe that unless you want left over penguin then you're too late - Lardy's eaten it all. (Hope you enjoyed the ASDA rowies Lardy!)
And as for the great sex, I heard that you're expected to provide your own trampoline. Oh, unless one of those leftover penguins bangs your gong.
Posted by LARDLAD on :
quote:Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac: Good food and great sex? I wanna hear more.
Haven't you fully explored the Lair, yet, IB? The holosuites, the sex robots, the costumes, the bondage room---that's just the tip of the iceberg (and it's a pretty good iceberg, too)!
And the kitchen...wowzers! I spared no expense!
Posted by LARDLAD on :
quote:Originally posted by Ghost of Numf El: I believe that unless you want left over penguin then you're too late - Lardy's eaten it all. (Hope you enjoyed the ASDA rowies Lardy!)
And as for the great sex, I heard that you're expected to provide your own trampoline. Oh, unless one of those leftover penguins bangs your gong. [/QB]
Nah, there's plenty of primo penguin left over---I stocked up! And that was a viscious rumor--I've always had plenty of trampolines!!!
Posted by Spellbinder on :
Lardy, don't you go corrupting IBSweetie... that's what I'm here for Posted by LARDLAD on :
Man, steal my thunder, princess...yeesh! Posted by LARDLAD on :
Hey, undecided voters---Getcher BRIBES right HERE!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Spellbinder on :
I probably shouldn't pit my ample cleavage against your huge manbreasts... I don't think Legion World would survive Posted by LARDLAD on :
I dunno...but I'm game to try!!
Posted by LARDLAD on :
C'mon! There's no one who's vote can't be bought?!?!
Posted by SharkLad on :
quote:Originally posted by Spellbinder: I probably shouldn't pit my ample cleavage against your huge manbreasts... I don't think Legion World would survive
I know you probably shouldn't either, but damn it if the prospect doesn't have my dorsal fin standing at attention ...
<splash>
Posted by Spellbinder on :
I've always found your dorsal fin to be "attentive" Posted by LARDLAD on :
Hey, babe, his fin's just a fin! Now, mine....
Posted by SharkLad on :
quote:Originally posted by Spellbinder: I've always found your dorsal fin to be "attentive"
In honor of Flag Day (and your ample cleavage, of course), I'm hanging the stars and stripes from it ...
Posted by LARDLAD on :
And I'm standing at full salute...if you catch my drift, Jeckie.
Posted by LARDLAD on :
Lash! I've got curry, now! I hope it gains your favor!!!
Posted by MLLASH on :
WOW--- Lardy's shameless pandering *IS* mighty persuasive! And I have "known" him longer than the other candidates... still, I remember a cruel prank he and another certain poster who goes by the initials of EDE but will remain nameless played on me once and had me all in a space-tizzy...
It's just so hard to decide!
Posted by LARDLAD on :
Curry, Lash...
You know you want it!
Posted by LARDLAD on :
C'mon, Lash---stop being such a tease!
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
I might have been on vacation for a week on Key West, but now that I'm back I need the full debauchery only a Lardy Campaign Lair could provide!
Posted by LARDLAD on :
Man! After a solid week of it, I'd think you'd be debauched OUT!
Des, you're officially my hero!
So enjoy the oyster shooters and holo-sex suites, ya big stud!
Posted by LARDLAD on :
Congratulations to my worthy opponents! It was truly a privilege being in the same race with you all!
And as I later amended, I will not be eating Calamity/Liberty Monkey, but I will eat this lifesize milk chocolate replica of him!
CHOMP!
mmmmmmmmmmmmm........
Posted by LARDLAD on :
By the way, it is my intent to run again next election. Maybe by then I will prove to everyone that I'm back to stay! AND that my party promises are not empty ones at all!
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
I really hope this means you're back full-time now Lardy! Its been a total blast having you post so much on the MMB!
Sweet Ass Sweet! We expect a whole lotta postin this summer from the big guy while our new leadership is forced to deal with our immature shenanagins!
Posted by LARDLAD on :
heh-heh
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
quote:Originally posted by LARDLAD: Congratulations to my worthy opponents! It was truly a privilege being in the same race with you all!.
ditto, buddy! Nxt race, I'll likely vote for you!
Posted by SharkLad on :
sorry things didn't work out LL ... you can count on my vote again next time round ...
Posted by LARDLAD on :
Thanks, guys! Hopefully, I'll earn it!
Posted by LARDLAD on :
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT
***"Lardy's Lair" is now officially open as Legion World's newest entertainment/sex/food & booze joint!***
I've spared NO expense to refurbish my Lair into what I hope will become the IT spot on Legion World!
The Lair is divided into three sections:
1) Lardy's Bar & Grill---serving the finest food and beverages in the known cosmos! The bar & grill caters to a wide variety of tastes, but it's signature items revolve around grilled meat favorites...steak, chicken, pork and a wide selection of the best draft beers from across the galaxy!
2) Lardy's Concert Stage---presenting good old fashion 20th/21st century rock music as performed by the actual 20th/21st century bands themselves arranged thru a special cross-time contract!! Appearing first, one of Lardy's personal faves System of a Down! They'll rock your ASSES off!!!
3) The Shady Lardy---what we feel will become the premiere destination for Legion World's horniest denizens! Male and Female exotic dancers! Lardy's own cutting edge holo-sex suites! Sex-bots! And some of the finest male and female whores from acroos the galaxy! How could the Lair hold so much room? Why, tessaracts of course!
And the first Tuesday of every month, the Lair transforms into one huge room for its trademark Monthly Massive Group Orgy...the largest such in the galaxy!!
The doors are now open----WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!?!?! Posted by Fat Cramer on :
I'm waiting for the chicken wings.
Posted by Faraway Lad on :
I'm waiting for the fish and chips.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
You have anything low-carb?
Posted by walkwithcrowds on :
I'm waiting for the first Tuesday of the month!!
Posted by dedman on :
man this place even beats the hootchie hut!!!
Posted by LARDLAD on :
quote:Originally posted by dedman: man this place even beats the hootchie hut!!!
That's the plan!
Posted by LARDLAD on :
And we have chicken wings, fish and chips and low-carb chicken wings and fish and chips!
Hows that for service!!
Posted by LARDLAD on :
quote:Originally posted by walkwithcrowds: I'm waiting for the first Tuesday of the month!!
It'll be one for the ages! Posted by SharkLad on :
is there a pool, or at least a hot tub?
<splash>
Ouch! There's no water in that hole ...
Posted by LARDLAD on :
Just remember Tuesday is doubly special: Independence Day & Orgy Tuesday!
Posted by dedman on :
huzzah for orgy tuesday!!!!
Posted by SharkLad on :
Orgy Tuesday!?! And me, without any condoms ...
Posted by LARDLAD on :
quote:Originally posted by SharkLad: Orgy Tuesday!?! And me, without any condoms ...
Hmmmm...don't think they make 'em big enough for you, Sharky! Posted by SharkLad on :
<blush>
you flatter me and my mighty dorsal fin ...
Posted by LARDLAD on :
Doors will open for Orgy Tuesday promptly at 7 p.m. Legion World time! Yours truly won't be around 'til after midnight, but my assistant managers, Hummer Lass and BJ Boy, will open up in my stead!
Have fun and seeya at midnight when the festivities REALLLY begin!!! Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
I can't believe Salad Tosser Lord showed up and hooked up with Princess No-Protection!
Posted by SharkLad on :
Yeah, and what about Sexual Innuendo Lass? She confused the crap outta half the people ...
Posted by LARDLAD on :
Dude, I don't normally smoke, but I've gone through about ten packs since last night!
Damn!
Posted by SharkLad on :
it's been a week ... has the pool been cleaned yet?
Posted by LARDLAD on :
I'm not cleaning it!
Posted by SharkLad on :
fine, I'll do it, but nobody complain if I frenzy a bit ...
Posted by LARDLAD on :
Man! This place has been dead since I went away on my secret mission!
Okay...first three drinks free and 24-hour raves starting now and ongoing through this upcoming Orgy Tuesday!
Posted by dedman on :
Woo Hoo!!!! give me 3 rye and 7's, I'm here till Wed. morning.
Posted by Ravenette84 on :
An orgy and free drinks.....Why is it I didn't get a note about this sooner?!?
[ July 28, 2006, 03:44 PM: Message edited by: Ravenette84 ]
Posted by dedman on :
still lots of time, its not till tuesday!!!
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
"It's always Tuesday at Lardy's" - famous Cobalt Kid saying.
Posted by walkwithcrowds on :
LARDY IS BACK!!!!
YAY!! ALLRIGHT!! PAAAAARTEEEEE!!!!
...i get too excited sometimes...
BARMAN, MINES A GUINNESS!!!
Posted by LARDLAD on :
yeah, party down LWers while we still can...I'm just saying things may be getting dicey down the road, is all.....
Barkeep, gimme a triple of my usual!
Posted by dedman on :
WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's TUESDAY!!!!!!
Posted by Ravenette84 on :
darn it all I missed it again! stupid painting taking up all my time.....
Posted by LARDLAD on :
Space Ranger's around, but Lardy's Lair will stay open!!!
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Lardy, I rented a room at Vee's Villa, and I think you should really get over there. I consider one of the most secure places to discuss any 'secret' matters.
Posted by SharkLad on :
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|\~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Posted by LARDLAD on :
Okay, staff, I'll be incommunicado for a few days. Please hold the fort for me...and keep your eyes open!
Posted by Ambassador Angra Metternich on :
...
The infamous lair of LardLad.
Interesting.
Posted by Faraway Lad on :
A holographic image of Faraway Lad appears. Looking fixedly at the wall it says.
"Ambassador Metternich, if you are seeing this message I assume it means I am in serious trouble and can not be there to greet you in person. Please be assured that our staff will do all they can to make your stay comfortable"
At that the hologram turns to directly face the Ambassador and with a hard cold smile says,
"and Mr Ambassador, snooping around LMB'ers private quarters is not the activity of an friend. I suggest you leave NOW"
Posted by Space Ranger (Dark Oval Sector) on :
<watching>
My space-bots have alerted me to activity here at LardLad’s ‘Lair’…I don’t see anything yet…
<sees blurry image flying by>
…so ‘its’ here…
Posted by blurry image on :
BOOOOM!!!! Posted by blurry image on :
<rubble falls everywhere. screams are heard>
:dust:
:debris:
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Bloody Liberty!! Great Rao...
Attention all Security Officers, all LMBers, all Legion World! This is Cobalt Kid transmitting over the general alarm.
Lardy's Lair has been savagely attacked and destroyed. We do not have any idea on the casualties or damage yet. Same for the attacker, who may or may not still be on the scene.
Come quickly to help with the relief effort.
<flies forward>
*cough*...fumes are pretty bad...
Posted by Liberty Monkey on :
Greetings Cobalt Kid!
My calamity-lungs allow me to withstand the foul burning that this awful black smoke can cause other sentients. Yet, I must remind you to be careful!
<leaps into the burning rubble>
I will help search for and rescue any remaining citizens of Legion World. It appears that no matter who the true enemies are, there is at least one on Legion World that has no care for the welfare of the common everyday citizen. This assault on the most sacred of civil liberties has now given me a true enemy!
Eryk Davis Ester be with us all!
Posted by The Crusader on :
Don't worry, guys. We're here to help!
<The Crusader swoops in, transsuit activated against the heat and fumes. He begins scanning the debris for thoughts>
There! Maxx!
Posted by Maxx the Sorcerer on :
I'm on it, hon!
<Maxx the Sorcerer drops to the ground, gesturing even as his lips recite the incantation. Suddenly a section of debris transforms into harmless vapor to reveal a trapped worker.>
Let's get you out of here!
Posted by LARDLAD on :
<Lard Lad 'ports just inside cordoned-off Security area>
NO! NOOOOOOOOOO! GODS, NO!!!!!
<tears stream down his face>
Gods...there's...so much...death here...
<reaches out into rubble with Lard Force>
PRU! Gods, I've got to SAVE her!
<charges into section of rubble, force field surrounding him>
Posted by LARDLAD on :
<exits section of rubble gently cradling a badly-burned Hummer Lass in his arms>
<enters makeshift medical tent>
Doctor! I've got a survivor here! She's in really bad shape--I've used my powers as much as possible to try to stabilize her...PLEASE HELP HER!!!!
"Bring her here!" the medic orders.
<Lard Lad gently lays her down where the medic indicates.>
"M'Klaar! Hollas! Get over here, STAT! We need to set up an isolation/cooling field around this patient!"
<As they scramble, Lard Lad whispers into Hummer Lass's ear, his eyes streaming with tears.>
Gods, please hang on Pru...please. I...I love you...
<The medics shove him out of the way and start working on her.>
"Go, please!" Hollas says to him. "We need the area clear! We'll take good care of her! Please."
<Slowly, Lard Lad exits the tent and looks at the smoldering ruins of his home and business.>
Someone's gonna PAY for this!
<He 'ports away.>
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
*cough*
Everything is in chaos...
...Reports coming in from the Dark Oval Embassy, the space port, everywhere...but I have to stay here and help...
*cough*
<hours of moving rubble with magnetism, ever so slowly as not to cause a further collapse and death, begins to take a toll...>
Posted by LARDLAD on :
<'ports behind Cobalt>
THERE YOU ARE!!!
<Cobalt whirls around, stunned to see Lard Lad>
How could you let this HAPPEN?!?!?
You promised me you'd keep everything SAFE while I was gone!!!
How could you fail my friends...fail PRU like that?!?!?
<pushes Cobalt back a few feet>
DAMN YOU!!!! Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
*PUNCH!*
Go to hades, Lardy!
You brought this on all of us...
...you made me an accessory to murder...
...you've brought Legion World on the brink of war...
*cough*
I know there's no blood on my hands--can you say the same?
*cough*
<stumbles back into the rubble>
Posted by Spellbinder on :
<Crujectra appears, facing Lardlad>
Damn you, Lardy! What have you done to us?
<A telekinetic pulse pushes Lardlad back against the wall>
You mark my words, "Lard Knight". I will turn you over to the Dark Oval myself before I'll let you pull Cobie down into the gutter with you!
<Releasing Lardlad, Crujectra turns and rushes after Cobalt Kid>
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
*cough*
There's not much else we can do here, Crujeckie...
We need to find out who was responsbile for this, and we need to do it soon. Whether one person or a squad of attackers, they're packing a lot of firepower.
*cough*
I still don't trust that Ambassador...
<puts arm on Crujeckie's shoulder to hold himself up>
Stupid smoke in my lungs...I'll need to heal myself quickly...
<lays healing hands on self>
Posted by LARDLAD on :
<watches as Cobalt and Spellbinder walk away>
<wipes blood from his mouth>
<looks at his hands, ashy black and bloody from Hummer Lass's injuries>
gods...what have I done?
<'ports away>
Posted by ActorLad on :
"Here's the wreckage, do what you can to clean up this mess", ActorLad says to Damage Control.
"And if you find anything suspicious be sure to bring it to my immediate attention!"
Posted by Ambassador Angra Metternich on :
<one odd Dark Oval diplomat watches the rubble continually. Though his face is hidden, one can almost tell he is enamored with the flames...>
Posted by Seth Gaterra on :
Underneath one of the slabs of rubble, someone stirs... awakening from the blow that rendered him unconscious. A careful movement of the limbs tells him that those are still functional, though his ribs are at least bruised. His head is still ringing a bit; mainly from the psychic cries of fear and pain from the crystalline symbiotes embedded in his skin.
~Shh... be calm, little ones. We'll escape this together... always together.~ he thinks back to them. The ones that were injured draw more deeply upon his considerable bio-energies to heal themselves. He allows it; until he can figure out how much more debris is atop his position, he doesn't dare destroy that. Removing the load-bearing structures is never a good idea.
But in case the debris above him finally does decide to collapse, he shifts his right hand into position before him, palm outward. The largest of the symbiotes glows brighter; a glow echoed by the smaller crystals that radiate like stylized sun's rays from the central gem. They may hold back the disintegration energy until it's needed, but it looks like that power may be needed after all...
Posted by LARDLAD on :
<'ports in, amidst the rubble>
<reaches out with Lard Force>
Someone's in there...someone alive!
But...it's someone..alien to this world...not a bombing survivor.
Could it be...the attacker?
<taps Omnicom>
All available Security Officers: come to the Lair at once! We may have a terrorist!
<continues scanning the debris>
Posted by Liberty Monkey on :
Calm yourself LardLad! Your human emotions have clouded your judgement and you are acting hysterically!
This is most likely a victim! Someone who also have felt the sting of a terrible attack! Let us hope...it shall be a surviver!
*uses Calamity powers to cause rubble to move away slowly to the left, in order to shift the debris without bringing about a further collapse*
Though I may not be as powerful as the Great Eryk Davis Ester, my powers of calamity and beliefs in liberty shall get me through this awful day--pray that it helps save this poor soul.
Though I have limited telepathy, I am having trouble communicating with this being...
*looks at LardLad*
Do not think me naive or overly optimistic! If we stop trusting in whats good, we lose everything!
Posted by Reboot on :
*floats, Rebooted into ghost (invisibility+intangibility) mode, having watched the Cobalt/Lard fight.*
«Intriguing...»
Posted by Seth Gaterra on :
Seth sees the slab moving aside, and closes his right hand. Wouldn't want to harm the rescuer, after all... whoever it is?
Once he's freed, he carefully sits up. Those who are there would see a humanoid male, with faceted white eyes. Crystals colored in shades from sky blue through deep purple form a flame-like mask around his eyes, and trail back in swirls and spirals across his bald head. More of these crystals are visible on the backs of his hands. He's clad in a sky blue long-sleeved shirt and medium blue trousers, with dark brown belt and boots; they've been a bit torn and definitely stained with dust and some pale pinkish liquid.
Liberty Monkey's telepathy should (I believe?) sense that these crystals upon the man are alive, though not fully sentient.
"I am Seth Gaterra..." he offers; his voice is baritone with a sibilant accent, but his Interlac seems correct. "... and where am I?!"
Posted by Liberty Monkey on :
Greetings Sentient!
You are on Legion World, home of heroes, home of freedom!
Would that you could have arrived at a better time, but alas, you've come in the midst of a crisis.
Now I see why my telepathy did not work. There are more than one sentient about you. Strange, it seems, but I am not one to judge strangeness! I am Liberty Monkey, and I will help you from the wreckage.
How did you come here? Many who came to Lardy's Lair often did not know where they were after a few hours, given the debacherous nature of this place, but surely you would have remembered entering it? Thus, is there reason to believe you came with the great calamity from the skies that destroyed it? Do you have any recollections?
But, enough with the questions. Try to answer as I pull you out and get you to safety. You are one of the few to have survived this...
Posted by Seth Gaterra on :
Seth accepts Liberty Monkey's help, offering his left hand to the Legionnaire. "I've not heard of a Legion *World* before..? Who exactly are you all?"
Then in answer to the next questions from Liberty Monkey: "I've no idea. I was elsewhere, then I woke up under the rubble here..." He frowns suddenly. "Arete, don't tell me it's happened again?!"
Posted by dedman on :
<A Black cloud forms and out of it steps Dedman>
Man Alive!!!! Whats happened to Lardy's place?
<steps back into cloud and disappears>
[ August 24, 2006, 09:48 PM: Message edited by: dedman ]
Posted by LARDLAD on :
Stay back, Liberty Monkey...
<acknowledges the monkey's scornful frown>
...just to play it safe, okay?
<reluctantly, Liberty Monkey backs away slightly>
<turns back to Seth>
Listen, I am Lard Lad, co-founder of the Legion of Message Board Posters and an acting Security Officer of this world. We have found you at the scene of a horrendous terrorist act. Will you submit to accompanying us to our Office to discuss why you are here at a crime scene? I'm fairly certain you weren't a patron here, right?
<gestures toward Liberty Monkey>
Liberty Monkey here will accompany us, so you'll know your interests are being served. I promise (and he will ensure this) that we will treat you fairly. Will you submit?
Posted by Liberty Monkey on :
I will not allow you be harmed my friend. Extreme danger and tragedy has created an atmosphere uncharacteristically intense on Legion World, but I will ensure your treatment is just.
Further, it appears our purpose here is over, as most survivors, little as they are, have been rescued, and Actor Lad has this situation under control at this time.
Posted by Seth Gaterra on :
Seth frowns, then finally addresses Lard Lad. "I... I will go with you, only because I know what happens if I dare resist the authorities." He turns his back to the man, bracing himself as if against an attack. "I presume you'll restrain me?"
Posted by Reboot on :
*Oddly distorted voice comes out of nowhere*
Trust me, you don't want to trust that guy. You won't be seen again.
*Liberty Monkey and Seth Gaterra find themselves teleported to the Administration Utopia*
Posted by LARDLAD on :
<yells at the sky, shaking his fist>
'BOOT!!!! I WASN'T GONNA HURT HIM, DAMMIT!
<hangs his head>
I'm gonna clobber that butthole, someday!
<reaches out with the Lard Force>
Okay...they're at Actor Lad's. A neutral site it is, then...
<'ports over to Actor's>
Posted by Seth Gaterra on :
(OOC: Do we move this RP over to the ActorLad thread, or stay here? Just checking before I reply.)
Posted by Spellbinder on :
The ActorLad thread Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Enough.
Everything has slowed to a crawl, and the LMB is destroying themselves. But the question is: who blew up the Lair?
That is the true culprit looking to start a war.
A blurry image with an 'S'? That's not much we have to go on and its coming from a source that we hardly know anything about. I know I should be at the Space Port with Abin, but I feel like this mystery is vitally important...
Posted by blurry image on :
<super-fast movement among the rubble>
Posted by blurry image on :
Posted by Superboy_Prime on :
quote:Originally posted by ActorLad: "Here's the wreckage, do what you can to clean up this mess", ActorLad says to Damage Control.
"And if you find anything suspicious be sure to bring it to my immediate attention!"
<heat vision rips apart damage control.>
quote:Originally posted by Cobalt Kid: Enough.
Everything has slowed to a crawl, and the LMB is destroying themselves. But the question is: who blew up the Lair?
That is the true culprit looking to start a war.
A blurry image with an 'S'? That's not much we have to go on and its coming from a source that we hardly know anything about. I know I should be at the Space Port with Abin, but I feel like this mystery is vitally important...
<punches Cobalt Kid across the face with a might never felt before>
[ August 27, 2007, 11:44 PM: Message edited by: LARDLAD ROBOT ]
Posted by Pov on :
(No, you silly robot! Those aren't friends! Those are teh Pron starlets Lardy lusts after!)
Posted by Lard Lad on :
Posted by LARDLAD ROBOT on :
[automatic response mechanism deliberates and finally states...]
<click>Query: "Pron"?<click>
Posted by Gary Concord, the Ultra Man on :
If you hold your nose and wait for the bubble to pop Pov's speech is much easier to understand...
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
quote:Originally posted by LARDLAD ROBOT: <click>Query: "Pron"?<click>
It's a very special remake of "Tron".
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
To be honest, every since Pov went into monkey form with bubble-gum flatuence, a lot of what he says makes more sense... Posted by Spellbinder on :
quote:Originally posted by Cobalt Kid: To be honest, EVERY since Pov went into monkey form with bubble-gum flatuence, a lot of what he says makes more sense...
Because now he types more like you, Cobie dear Posted by Pov on :
Posted by ??? on :
<beneath the old, destroyed nightclub, something stirs>
<the same figure that visited Clive's body when it disappeared produces the same canister from a cloak>
<opens canister & a shapeless, glowing glob is emptied on a table>
<the figure touches the glob and an eldritch energy surrounds it>
<the glob pulsates and takes a humanoid form>
Posted by ??? on :
<the figure speaks>
"Yes, it's happening--they're turning the wheel!"
<the humanoid form glows bright purple and its vaguely humanoid form begins to take on specific features>
[ February 25, 2009, 02:11 PM: Message edited by: ??? ]
Posted by ??? on :
I...I live!
"Yes, you live. You're back on Legion World where you belong. You have unfinished business! Do you remember who you are?"
Yes, of course...I am...
Posted by Lard Lad Prime on :
LARD LAD!!! Posted by Lard Lad Prime on :
"Yes...yes...you're Lard Lad. The real one."
What do you mean, the "real" one?
"I mean, there's an imposter out there claiming to be you."
What?!?!
"Yes, a fake...but you are the real deal..."Lard Lad Prime", if you will.
Of COURSE I am! And who are you?
"A friend of your dear, departed wife's."
A friend of Dru?
"Yes. She foresaw your death, but not her own. She enlisted my aid to bring you back. It's a good thing, too...considering what happened to the poor woman."
Yes...
"You must go now, Lard Lad, and take your rightful place from the one who has usurped your identity."
YES! He will PAY!!!
<blasts a whole up thru the bunker and the wreckage above and flies up>
<left behind, the figure smiles>
Posted by Ghost Girl on :
Echoes...
Echoes of an old battle.
I had hoped LardLad would have rebuilt his old nightclub. Better to approach him here, than in front of the entire LMBP...
Posted by Lard Lad on :
<'ports in from Security Office>
You...'Ghost Girl'. What brings you here of all places?
Posted by Ghost Girl on :
...You.
I had hoped... Hoped that seeing you again might bring... answers.
But... Maybe I should not have come. (becomes slightly transparent)
Posted by Lard Lad on :
No! Don't go!
I-I've thought of you a lot since we last met. You could say...you could say that you've haunted me!
Please! Stay...and tell me how I can help!
Posted by Ghost Girl on :
It's not easy to put into words.
There is much you should find out on your own... I had hoped our last meeting would... enable your memories of... other times.
In the cloud castles, I saw a face. I don't know why, but I thought seeing you again would help me discern its meaning.
I... I think...
someone we both knew in another era is imprisoned. Perhaps inside the castle. Perhaps by its master, but in another locale. Or perhaps...
I do not know.
None of it makes sense to me right now.
Posted by Lard Lad on :
It's okay.
<looks around>
Interesting that you would choose this old place, a place where many people died in a terrorist attack. I've rebuilt the Lair since at another, older site.
Something instinctively tells me to trust you. Do you...do you know if I knew you when...when you were alive?
Posted by Ghost Girl on :
This site... it reminds me of... another tragedy. Where you and I.. knew many victims.
Tell me... does the name Vhiatos mean anything to you?
Posted by Lard Lad on :
<thinks>
No...it seems familiar somehow, but that's about it.
Tell me--I'm not sure you've made it clear--do you remember who you were...when you were alive?
Posted by Ghost Girl on :
I... know I lived a brief life in recent times. But those memories are lost to me.
I remember more of... another time. When we both lived, and knew each other well...
Vhiatos ex Nas'iiah umiah'k nognai. That's what you told me... once.
Posted by Lard Lad on :
Gods, when...when I came back to life, I confused this life with..something else..several times. You're saying...we knew each other...in another incarnation?
Posted by Ghost Girl on :
We did. In a place that was old long before even Oa was young.
Posted by Lard Lad on :
Okay...so this...castle in the sky...this has something to do with this "old" place?
Posted by Ghost Girl on :
yes... no... I don't know.
The castle has some familiar... inhabitants. Captives, perhaps, even.
Its master, I am not sure he is as he claims. But there was one, long ago, whose insanity caused an instability in the fabric of reality.
I pray it is not him again.
Posted by Lard Lad on :
Alright...I'm not the smartest guy to help you puzzle this out. Could you...accompany me back to the Security Office? I swear that you can trust me.
Posted by Ghost Girl on :
I shall... check out... this security office...
Posted by Candle on :
+empathic presense+
{frustration and regret, mixed with a little curiosity that slowly fades} Posted by Ghost Girl on :
This... Candle...
She was not among the LMBP when last I was among them. I sense a kindred...
Posted by MysticLuna on :
(enters in a glow of energy)
This place is a mess, but at least it's private.
What's taking him?
Posted by Lard Lad on :
<'ports in>
Interesting that you'd choose the old place.
Anyhow, if we're gonna do this, I need some assurance that I can be brought back when the time is right. Any idea how to make that happen, Luna?
Posted by MysticLuna on :
Assurance?
Hmm...we can create an incantation to bring you back. But depending on the level of power your other self has, there could still be complications.
There is always a risk with these things.
Posted by Legolas on :
(- - - wakes in a start)
(thinks to self:) has the master found me? Truly I thought none would dare look for me here!
But no... it is just that rude, portly fellow they consider their leader. And one of their spellcasters. Up close, does she not look familiar, somewhat?
But enough. I shall lie here quietly so they discover me not.
(Legolas quietly readies a contingency spell in the event MysticLuna sees through his intricate spell-craft that keeps him hidden. He will be able to teleport with but a thought, should it prove necessary)
Posted by Legolas on :
hmmm...
Lard Lad and MysticLuna seem to have wandered off...
I wonder if it's safe to come on out yet. It is rather dingy and boring down here.
Posted by MysticLuna on :
(Luna circles the building slowly, fortifying the place for her spell so that no may enter or leave with out her permission, she peers into a corner of the building, where she sees a faint spectre of a male elf figure)
I suppose you are on the run from you Master, he seems quite cross with you.
No matter, you can not hide here, leave! Go speak to Cobalt Kid, perhaps he can offer you some sort of protection. To be quite honest, I am not sure how that place runs, I just work in Mystics division...
What are still doing here?
GET OUT!!! Posted by Legolas on :
well!!
since you ask so nicely...
Au revior, ma cherie!
(Legolas vanishes in a glittery cloud)
Posted by Lard Lad on :
Who was that? Ah, nevermind...
I did all those preparatory things you wanted me to do, Luna. I'm ready to go through with this thing.
I just hope I'm not making a big mistake.
Do I need to lie down or something?
Posted by MysticLuna on :
The room has been fully prepared. I just need to add one more touch.
(Luna holds out her hand, liquid silver begins to pour from the cracks. The silver splashes and plays until it molds its' self into a sphere. The sphere levitates to the center of the room and adheres to the rambles of the ceiling.)
That will completely isolate us. No communications will be allowed in or out and no person will allowed to enter or to leave.
You should be warned that this spell will not be pleasant, especially with us setting up a reverting incantation.
And yes, you should lie down.
Posted by Lard Lad on :
Before we get to this....may I ask a question?
I had little interaction with Viviane and the Avalonians before I took off on...an extended mission. Everyone seems to know you, though. May I ask...are you Viviane in another aspect or another Avalonian who the LMB has worked with before?
Posted by MysticLuna on :
(Luna looks at him like he is a fool)
The only Viviane I know is the Lady of the Lake, she is a Child of Oberon as I am.
The pretender that came here and whom's place I took is a stranger to me, I have never met her.
Now stop stalling, we've wasted enough time.
Posted by Lard Lad on :
Sorry, just curious! I'm nervous, okay? <blushes>
<lies down>
Will this do? I don't have to be naked or anything, do I? <grins>
Posted by MysticLuna on :
What you have on will be fine, I doubt some stranger from the past will enjoy waking up nude with me in the room.
We shall begin once I have you situated. Relax yourself, keep your head back, close your eyes and slowly breath in and out.
(Luna walks around him until she is on his right side, she place her left hand on the center of his chest and her right hand on left shoulder. Her hands glow green, the light infuses into his skin where she is touching him.)
I will set in the incantation, first. This will not be enjoyable.
(Luna's mouth barely utters words, but she goes on and on, then, white light and wave that murk the air slither from her mouth, long and continuous and flow into Lard Lad's mouth. They force their way in, infusing into him in a way he has not felt before. The searing pain is apparent by the way he jerks his body and squints his eyes.)
It is time to begin searching through you past lives, until we find the first. Are you ready?
Posted by Lard Lad on :
...r-ready as I'm gonna be....<grits teeth>
Posted by MysticLuna on :
This is going to be like an out of body experience as we search through you past lives. You will see each and everyone we look through, when we find the one we need, you merely need to exchange places with him.
Let us begin.
(Luna's hands glow on him again, sending them into a dreamscape-like realm)
Posted by Lard Lad on :
...uh...n-no not that one...or that one...gotta go further back...I th-think...al th-the way...to the b-beginning...
<screams as the pain crosses his considerable threshold>
Posted by MysticLuna on :
We have a problem.
You seem to have very power past lives, there are a few that have strong barriers on them. I will try to find the oldest one.
(The dreamscape changes, five geometric spheres form.)
These five seem to be very powerful past lives, but that is the one we are looking for.
(She points to nothing, but walks ahead, after about 100ft she presses her hand on the nothingness to show what seems to be a clear wall.)
This is blocking us, it's magic, very old. Very old. I'll try to break the block.
(She presses on the glass and makes green fizzling spark, her eyes pop.)
I'll...try again.
(This time her hands hand explode with energy and the glass barrier breaks throwing Luna and Lard Lad accross the dreamscape. She stands up with an angry look on her face, she looks at her hands.)
What the hell?!
(She composes herself and turns to Lard Lad on the ground about fifteen feet behind her.)
The block is broken.
Posted by Lard Lad on :
<in the dreamscape, Lardy is ambulatory and he 'walks' shakily to where the block has been breached>
Wh-what do I d-do, Luna?
Posted by MysticLuna on :
Go into the blocked area. I suppose that he...old you should be in there, somewhere.
Seek him out, do not worry, I shall be right behind you.
Posted by Lard Lad on :
Am I to speak to him...touch him? Wh-what do I do?
<in the Lair, Lardy's broken out in a cold sweat and the pain is causing his body to convulse>
Posted by MysticLuna on :
(Sensing his bodies distress, Luna decides not to tell him, but becomes more stern)
Lard, I can't tell you, most people don't need to go to old portions of their souls.
But here, things are made as to be perceived. Talk to him, let him know what you are here for and let him know what you need of him. The incantation will go into affect once you exchange places.
And hurry up!
Posted by Lard Lad on :
O-okay....
<enters area>
...er, hello?
Who are you?
I am...you, sort of. The latest incarnation of your soul.
I...do not understand.
<Lardy finds the strength to explain>
Milennia ago, you were betrayed by a man named Zardi. He hurt the woman you loved and killed you. Worse, he put a taint on your soul that doomed every incarnation it would be reborn in to fall into darkness.
Yes, Zardi. I remember. What of you? Do you not bear this taint as well?
Y-yes I do. <fights back tears> But I'm doing my best to stave it off. <looks him in the eye> Zardi has lived all this time and threatens us in ways we can't comprehend. We need someone who knows him to help us. You. And I sense your power would be a great help as well.
What can I do? I am but a shade lost to the ages?
I am offering a chance for you to inhabit my body for a time--to get us through this crisis.
For a time?
Yes. It is your chance to right the great wrong that was done to you. I know you are Incorruptable. I know that if you give your word, you will release my body back to me when your work is done.
You know me well. I agree to your terms. Zardi must be stopped.
Then, take my hand...
<Lardy extends his right hand>
<for a moment, he's shocked to see that he has his right hand to extend at all after having lost it during the Phineas affair a few months ago>
Oh, right. Dreamverse.
<the two hands join and there is a bright flash of light>
Posted by MysticLuna on :
(Luna watches as a blinding light sweeps over her. When she looks down, she is standing over Lard Lad's body, sweaty but still. She looks up and to see if her orb is in place.)
Who ever he is, he can't leave, this had better worked. The right man better be in there. Posted by Lardi the Incorruptible on :
unh. Where...where am I?
Posted by MysticLuna on :
You are on Legion World. In a bunker of a fallen establishment.
Who are you?
Posted by Lardi the Incorruptible on :
I am call Lardi the Incorruptible. I agreed to inhabit this body in order to confront the evil one known as Zardi. Who, may I ask, are you?
Posted by MysticLuna on :
I am Luna.
I am the one you brought you here, in a fashion.
I'll be blunt, I only brought you here on Lard Lad's request, it was his intuition that trust you, not mine.
Our headquaters is the Security Office, which is ran by Cobalt Kid.
(Luna calls down the silver sphere)
This was keeping you in here and others out. Any senses you may possess will no longer be confined.
I should report back to Cobalt Kid.
Please, do not kill yourself, at least not until we stop Zardi.
Oh and, you know, that body is not yours and so on...
(fades into a green light)
[ October 08, 2009, 11:09 PM: Message edited by: MysticLuna ]
Posted by Lardi the Incorruptible on :
This body...so strange...
<looks at reflection in monitor>
<with a yellow glow, he causes the beard to disappear and the hair to recede into a close crop>
<touches his eyes and removes the ocular lenses that are no longer necessary>
<his costume changes to an ornate red robe with a waste-long white cape>
<holds up his arm and looks at the stump on the end>
This will not do!
<with a blinding yellow glow centered on the stump, Lardi concentrates mightily>
<slowly, bone, nerves, musculature and skin grow from nothing until, finally, a new, perfect hand is in place where there was none>
That is better. I feel fairly close to myself, now. Why this incarnation would go without a hand is puzzling.
Now, I shall go-- <remembers something skimmed from Lardy's surface memories> What? MYLA?!?
[ October 08, 2009, 11:34 PM: Message edited by: Lardi the Incorruptible ]
Posted by Lardi the Incorruptible on :
MYLA!!!
This 'Lard Lad' encountered Myla recently! My wife lives! I must find her!!!
<shimmers and disappears in a cloud of yellow smoke>
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