The Evil Genius Supper Club created by Abin Quank in his 'Bits OneVision The Rising Darkness*
Located on the waterfront in the duty-free zone of Metropolis Galactic Freight Terminal, the EGSC is a short walk and a world away from the other establishments on Legion World. Here the greatest minds of the galaxy gather to entertain each other with their ideas.
Welcome to the Evil Genius Supper Club, I am the proprietor of this establishment and your host for this evening. You will usually find me behind the bar or sitting at the head table with the lovely Caliente entertaining the guests of honour for the evening. As the holiday season is a slow time for us, tonight I have a moment to show you around. Please join me in the gaming lounge to shoot some craps.
Ah I see Cali is on a roll at the craps table. On most nights she’s the hostess here at the EGSC. I really don’t know why I gave her a job that requires me to spend so much time with her. I could show you evidence of the trauma she’s inflicted on my ribs with her elbows. We had a stormy fling some time ago. She always seems to have her way with me. I am so over her. Although she does look lovely standing over there, and the memory of melting in her warm embrace haunts me still. Err excuse me for rambling, let’s continue.
Many guests conduct business in the main hall. While our staff is extremely discrete concerning guests’ private affairs, I urge caution when making deals that require strict confidence. The controversy over the cabal against the Khundish opposition leader is something I’d rather forget. So remember, you never know who might be listening. I know the Office of Security and several foreign powers regularly dispatch their lackeys to this establishment. In this area are the private dining/meeting rooms which members can book to conduct business absolute discretion. These rooms are certified free of listening devices and sentient eavesdroppers. Please see the concierge for details and availability.
The club also serves as a sales office for Evil Genius Inc. They cater to the technological needs of “freedom fighters” and “enlightened despots” galaxy wide. Due to recent changes in LW regulation, EGI is unable to process payments from third parties. Intelligence services funding clandestine wars must now make alternate payment arrangements. Please see your representative for details.
I would show you the kitchen area but the Chef does not appreciate people interrupting his work. I will say that the food here is most excellent. Our current menu includes such delicacies as Space Whale Tartare and Smoked Fillet of Lightning Beast. We endeavour to cater to all our guests, if you have special dietary requirements please contact the Chef in advance. However, I must inform you that the serving of sentient species is not permitted on Legion World.
From time to time we have special theme evenings and events here at the club. Please join us as we ring in the New Year in a few days. The theme will be New Year’s in Old Shanghai. It promises to be most interesting, though due to local regulations there will be no opium available at this event. I will be attired in a golden silk robe embroidered with the imperial dragon of course. And wait till you see the outfit Caliente is going to wear, it's smoking hot. That reminds me, she needs to try it on for fit. If you would excuse me I should attend to that, please feel free to use the facilities.
[ October 11, 2007, 09:29 AM: Message edited by: Cobalt Kid ]
Posted by Caliente on :
Everything sounds about right... except that part where you, Tamper dahling, will be attending my fittings. I'm thinking not so much there. We all know about your Asian clothing fetish.
...well, now they all know, anyway. Posted by Abin Quank on :
Let's see here, I thought this place up, but my Editor, Eddie Tor, gave it to Tamper, Free Gratis Or was that Gratis Fee?
Oh well, I wonder if I can at least get a free meal out of it...
Posted by TamperLad on :
Sometimes I wonder who runs this place, Caliente. Still I'm sure you'll be stunning on New Year's.
The House of Q is always welcome here, in fact the licensing deal provides the HoQ perpetual use of the Space Ranger Room located in the conference centre.
Posted by Caliente on :
Of course I will. Hello, have you seen me? Psh. I mean, I'm no Crujectra but I do okay.
And, Mr. Quank, I believe we could work out some sort of free meal as a show of gratitude. (Even though Tamper has none.)
Besides, it's the drinks we kill you with, not the food. So, what'll it be...?
Posted by Spellbinder on :
quote:Originally posted by Caliente: Of course I will. Hello, have you seen me? Psh. I mean, I'm no Crujectra but I do okay.
It's all in knowing the right designers. Oh... and being rich helps alot Posted by legionadventureman on :
Oo! Oo! My Psyche-self has a tendency to switch sides at a blink of an eye, so if there is any juicy goss to spill.... Posted by TamperLad on :
quote:Originally posted by Spellbinder: It's all in knowing the right designers. Oh... and being rich helps alot
Have you seen Cali's shoe closet? I have a feeling that this venture serves her financial needs much more than mine.
Posted by legionadventureman on :
So you don't have a thing for Manolo Blahniks? Posted by Caliente on :
Hahaha, no, he doesn't. And I still can't afford them. Hmm... maybe I should ask for a raise...
And, duly noted Cru. Must remember to marry for money, not that pesky love thang. Ohhh yes. Then all the shows will be miiiiiine!!!!!!!
Er, I mean... Did you want anything LAM or Cru? The food's not half bad...
Posted by legionadventureman on :
Well, just be careful of what gets slipped into your Purple Hooter, Cali... Posted by Polar Boy Esq on :
I'm not evil I'm not a monkey I'm not a nijar I'm not clever I'm not Janet Street Porter I'm not a Supergirl Robot I'm not that skin on soup I'm not Belgium and I can't spell What am I?
Posted by legionadventureman on :
Question: What the frag is a nijar?
Posted by Caliente on :
quote:Originally posted by legionadventureman: Well, just be careful of what gets slipped into your Purple Hooter, Cali...
As if I would accept drinks from anybody other than Semi and, of course, Cobie. Now that he's a chick, I mean...
Posted by legionadventureman on :
Oh come on - you can trust me....Do have a drink on me, my dear...
Posted by TamperLad on :
Regrettably club staffers including Caliente Lady of the House though she may be, cannot accept drinks or gratuities of any kind from guests. These are included in the excessive service charges appearing on your invoices.
As for shoes, no worries. Cali's position includes a generous wardrobe allowance. I need her to look good for me... er my guests rather.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Nice place here, TL. Wasn't Caliente formerly known as the infamous Dragon Lady? I'd be real nice to her if I were you - she might just decide that you're expendable.
I'll drop by New Year's Eve - with my fluffy white cat, one of the more traditional Evil Genius accessories.
Posted by Faraway Lad on :
Ah Tamper Lad, good to see you again after that unfortunate incident at the Chinese Delegates ball last spring. I mean although I asked you to be friendly, I really thought slapping the CEO’s wife on the tush like that was a wee bit over the top. Still we managed to get away with only a few bullet holes in the cape, and I’m pleased to see you are not still walking with a limp.
Now, I need to undertake some “delicate” diplomacy can you arrange for a private room, fine wine and food and let me know when my guests arrive.
Posted by Kid Cobalt on :
Tamper Lad, you won't mind if I book one of your secret meeting rooms for the Khundish Ambassador's daughter and myself, do you? She seems more taken with me now that I'm a female, and I need those Khundish state secrets before the start of the weekend.
I'm glad we've worked out some sort of shaky understanding...
Posted by Caliente on :
quote:Originally posted by TamperLad: Regrettably club staffers including Caliente, Lady of the House though she may be, cannot accept drinks or gratuities of any kind from guests. These are included in the excessive service charges appearing on your invoices.
Sad, sad truth. But the wardrobe allowance is the best thing ever. Ever, I say! What do you mean I'm a shopaholic...? <.< >.>
quote:Originally posted by Fat Cramer: Wasn't Caliente formerly known as the infamous Dragon Lady? I'd be real nice to her if I were you - she might just decide that you're expendable.
Shhh. Don't tell him such things. I'm distracting his lower brain over here... I don't want the upper one catching on.
Posted by Abin Quank on :
Tamper has an UPPER brain? Who Knew?
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
What, What WHAT.
My interest in Caliente is purely platonic. A youngster all alone here on LW. She could easily fall in with the wrong crowd. Now she has a job to keep her off the mean streets.
Posted by Abin Quank on :
Mmmm-Hmmm Okay, I mean who am I to argue with a self proclaimed "Evil Genius?"
Posted by Caliente on :
Psh. I'm 19 and very self-aware Tamper Lad. I think I could survive those 'mean streets' juuuuust fine.
*coughs* Not that I'm not thankful for my job! I am, I am. (Don't fire me. I'm too cute to be unemployed...)
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
I'm the EGSC's first patron of 2006 and you're not! Posted by Polar Boy Esq on :
BULER!!!
Posted by legionadventureman on :
quote:Originally posted by Caliente: Psh. I'm 19 and very self-aware Tamper Lad.
Don't worry about the age diff, Tamper and Cali, after all, Tom Cruise is dallying with the chick who almost slept with Dawson! Posted by Tamper Lad on :
Since we are being compared to those people. I thought it would be grossly inappropriate but fun to parody beliefs I don't understand.
So Cali if you want to eventually be Katiente to my Tomper Lad. You need to convert to my religion.
You need to worship math, transfer ownership of your genetic material including our future children to Evil Genius Incorporated, and once every several months dance around naked slapping an animal hide against a concrete surface.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
HEY!! You guys triple charged my credit card! No honour among thieves?
Posted by legionadventureman on :
quote:Originally posted by Tamper Lad: Since we are being compared to those people. I thought it would be grossly inappropriate but fun to parody beliefs I don't understand.
So Cali if you want to eventually be Katiente to my Tomper Lad. You need to convert to my religion.
You need to worship math, transfer ownership of your genetic material including our future children to Evil Genius Incorporated, and once every several months dance around naked slapping an animal hide against a concrete surface.
Do you also want to get yourself a fluffy Persian called Mr. Bigglesworth, TL? Posted by Caliente on :
Man, things are getting dull around here. I had time to give myself a manicure and force Tamper Lad to rub my feet. (That's what you get when you make icky insinuations!) Where are all the sweet, fun, easily manipu-- er, beloved customers?
Tamper, there might be a problem here... I wonder if Cramer's slightly miscalculated bill scared them all away? Maybe we should run a special...
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
How about free entertainment.
In keeping with the 20th century historical theme of this thread, I want something from the period in question. I was thinking a big band and swing dancing but alas i don't dance and have no rhythm to speak of. I want to choose something we all can enjoy, so i suggest an athletic contest.
So how about the Legion World ladies partake in the the EGSC's first annual invitational Jello wrestling tournament?
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Dwarf-tossing!
If you were really evil, you'd have dwarf-tossing!
And if you were an evil Paul Levitz, you could have white dwarf-tossing!
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
What flavour of Jello?
Posted by Amora the Enchantress on :
Ahhh...this doth appear to be precisely the sort of establishment I hath been looking for. Methinks my presence alone shall enliven thy club.
Drinks! Drinks for the Enchantress! And be fleet on thy feet, or suffer my wrath.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
you want to liven it up?
I got a dollar!
Posted by legionadventureman on :
Compulsory wedgies?
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
Hmmm i admit having Cali's feet in my lap is not the worst thing she could have had me do, but where are all the brilliant schemes to take over the world? The intrigue? the backstabbing?
Posted by Caliente on :
Only you would dream of such things Tamper. Honestly... I'd tell you you were despicable but, knowing you, you'd like it.
Though it pains me to say it, Kent does make a good point. Though, I think we are in short supply when it comes to dwarves at the moment. (Oh, come on, the pun was just waiting to be said. And, really, what's more evil than puns?)
Cramer, I'd much rather it was chocolate pudding. Thoughts?
General announcement regarding wedgies: Wedgies are for male clientele only unless otherwise specified. They may be provided by LAM, LASH and Tamper only at this time. Applications to apply wedgies can be found at the register... applications to receive may also be found there.
Now, Miss... er, Enchantress was it? What can I get for you today? And shall we start a tab...?
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
Wedgies? Ewww! Scary thought when you have short penguin legs.
But I won't worry about it. It's not like I actually wear clothes...
Posted by Amora the Enchantress on :
quote:Originally posted by Caliente: Now, Miss... er, Enchantress was it? What can I get for you today? And shall we start a tab...?
Merlot, please, Cali dear. And a tab would be a splendid idea; I am grateful for thy foresight.
Posted by legionadventureman on :
quote:Originally posted by Rockhopper Lad: Wedgies? Ewww! Scary thought when you have short penguin legs.
But I won't worry about it. It's not like I actually wear clothes...
TMI, mon cher Rockhopper? Posted by Caliente on :
quote:Originally posted by Amora the Enchantress: Merlot, please, Cali dear. And a tab would be a splendid idea; I am grateful for thy foresight.
Always happy to serve an Enchantress. If you need anything else, either Tamper or myself would be honored to help you.
Oh, and don't forget to pay the tab before you leave. The interest rates here at the club are, unfortunately, rather true to the name 'evil'.
Posted by Amora the Enchantress on :
Many thanks, Cali. Verily, this club doth have the best service I hath encountered in my immortal existence. The tab shall not go unpaid, I promise thee; 'twould be dishonorable if that were to occur. I also promise thee and Tamper Lad that there shall be no drunken misbehavior from myself. Immortality brings with it a tremendous capacity for holding one's drink.
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Excuse me, the sugar on my creme brulee is still a bit granular.
Is there someone with a flame thrower or perhaps heat/flash vision to carmelize it?
Thank you.
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
Ah Lad Boy's here. Hopefully the club will be booking his All-Leather Revue for entertainment sometime in the next month.
Posted by Lad Boy on :
It was Mid-Atlantic Leather Week last month, so the leather ... umm ... costumes are all out being cleaned.
Perhaps the all-lycra one-man show, instead?
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
quote:Originally posted by Lad Boy: Excuse me, the sugar on my creme brulee is still a bit granular.
Is there someone with a flame thrower or perhaps heat/flash vision to carmelize it?
Thank you.
Sorry. Heat's not my thing. Let me know if your soup or your coffee is too hot. That I can help with. Perhaps our kind hostess may be of assistance.
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
How nice to finally have a supper club on LW again. It's been slim pickin's since the Beacon was shuttered.
I realize that I don't have a reservation, but do you have a table for a gentleman dining alone?
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Oh, Semi, you can join me at my table. I just got here.
*discreetly shoves arctic creme brulee under the table*
Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
I'd love to join you Lad Boy. But I can't promise I'll remain a "gentleman." Posted by Caliente on :
Ungentlemanly gentlemen, remember-- no behaving here! It just wouldn't be the EGSC if you did!
Mr. Lad Boy, if you're still wanting, I'd be happy to melt your sugar (among other things).
And Miss Enchantress, you are welcome any time! This club could use more customers like yourself. And a few less that think tipping is a city in China...
[ January 25, 2006, 07:16 PM: Message edited by: Caliente ]
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
Come one come all, food and entertainment are all free for members. Charges for use of technology and meeting facilities are highway robbery.
Guests will tip Cali or face her wrath. When she adopts this avatar, it usually means she wants to be holding the whip in the Leather Revue.
But if you don't tip her, that's fine as well. That just means I won't have to be the one wearing the ball gag in the next show.
Posted by Stealth on :
Oops, I accidentally "switched places" with Amora the Enchantress. Hang on a minute...[dissapears]
[ January 26, 2006, 08:15 AM: Message edited by: Stealth ]
Posted by Amora the Enchantress on :
quote:Originally posted by Caliente: Ungentlemanly gentlemen, remember-- no behaving here! It just wouldn't be the EGSC if you did!
Mr. Lad Boy, if you're still wanting, I'd be happy to melt your sugar (among other things).
And Miss Enchantress, you are welcome any time! This club could use more customers like yourself. And a few less that think tipping is a city in China...
Thou art a doll. [Amora the Enchantress waves the hand that's not holding her drink, and a $20 bill appears out of thin air] For thee. Posted by Lad Boy on :
quote:Originally posted by Tamper Lad: But if you don't tip her, that's fine as well. That just means I won't have to be the one wearing the ball gag in the next show.
How perverse, I get to wear the ball gag for not paying someone.
Posted by legionadventureman on :
quote:Originally posted by Lad Boy:
quote:Originally posted by Tamper Lad: But if you don't tip her, that's fine as well. That just means I won't have to be the one wearing the ball gag in the next show.
How perverse, I get to wear the ball gag for not paying someone.
Lad Boy - you be my sort of dude, dude Posted by Tamper Lad on :
Er yes all this week at the club practioners of the dismal science will be debating whether there is a credible economically justified case for socialism in services such as healthcare.
Hint: Take a look at your textbooks and look up game theory of the so-called prisoner's dilemma. Imagine what a profit maximizing rent-seeker should do faced with this question.
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Evil Genius economists determining health care? Only true evil can result from this.
Er... what was the number of the private clinic?
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
the private clinics are already run by evil geniuses. they're just expanding thier market-share by delving into the public side.
Posted by legionadventureman on :
In which sector could Bush be put into? The over-achiever or the bumbling sidekick?
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
quote:Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare: the private clinics are already run by evil geniuses. they're just expanding thier market-share by delving into the public side.
No we're simply trying to intercalate the role of payer into the value chain an make it the prime generator of value in the industry. Thus using a non-market strategy of legislatively mandating a single payer, we can force a monopsony pricing model on the hated physician union.
Besides I promised Cali I'd put her dentist on a spit, so she can cook 'im.
Posted by legionadventureman on :
quote:Originally posted by Tamper Lad:
quote:Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare: the private clinics are already run by evil geniuses. they're just expanding thier market-share by delving into the public side.
No we're simply trying to intercalate the role of payer into the value chain an make it the prime generator of value in the industry. Thus using a non-market strategy of legislatively mandating a single payer, we can force a monopsony pricing model on the hated physician union.
Besides I promised Cali I'd put her dentist on a spit, so she can cook 'im.
Now THAT's truly the work of an evil genius Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
quote:Originally posted by legionadventureman: In which sector could Bush be put into? The over-achiever or the bumbling sidekick?
Evil, without a doubt. a genius? puh-leaz.
Posted by legionadventureman on :
Has there ever been a smart President? Apart from George Washington?
Posted by Lad Boy on :
William Henry Harrison -- super genius.
Hey, would anyone like to destroy a small sovereign nation's economy after work today. I have a little time to kill and don't feel like hitting my usual happy hour spot.
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
Sure!!!
What mischief will we inflict on them? Perhaps we will flood them with massive amounts of their currency to cause hyper inflation. Or maybe we'll start rumors of an impending invasion to sow chaos.
On the other hand I'm kinda tired and feel like trying to cuddle up with our hostess tonight. Can't we just call our friends at United Fruit and outsource it?
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
I believe I last saw your hostess cuddling up to Hugo Chavez in the storeroom. Maybe the Supper Club will be nationalized by midnight... or turned into a pumpkin.
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
The conference board of eminent economists agrees that under no circumstances is this club to be nationalized. That does it. No hostess of mine will consort with a populist socialist strongman.
En Garde Chavez! The Chiquita men have sealed off the borders. They've shut down the railroads and brought the country to its knees. Surrender now and I won't lock you for the rest of your life with my army of Dubya clones.
And Cali dear, under socialism they don't have nice shoes.
Posted by legionadventureman on :
So what's on the menu today? Cyanide in the champagne? Strychnine in the savouries?
Posted by Lad Boy on :
I wasn't in the mood for Latin American food, could we overthrow one of the Baltics or maybe a repbublic that was part of the former Yugoslavia?
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
Hmmm Not so many corporate links to help us there. But I think taking over the telecom system would be a good first step.
We'll fund those opposition parties too.
Posted by legionadventureman on :
You really want a breakdown in telecommunication?
Posted by Everyday Girl on :
Ohmygod, how did I ever like miss this place? Maybe Miss Caliente will let me help out as a part-time hostess, or bartender, or maybe I could like be one of the programers for the Serving Androids.
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
Like, ohmygod Grams let her outta the house.
Posted by Lad Boy on :
Like, ohmygod, there goes the neighborhood.
Posted by Arachne on :
Ah, but the fun's just starting. Posted by Tamper Lad on :
Er, yes... fun...
Well Everyday Girl is more than welcome to look for a job here at the club. We have openings in security, food service and prep, and the gaming room.
Now excuse me there is a most fascinating seminar on using "Parthenogenesis for Fun and Profit."
Posted by Everyday Girl on :
Ohmygod, I like think I'll take that job in security. This little like "Lard Butt" Needs to kick some serious "Evil Henchmen" Bootie!
I'll be in the back room if you like need me Mr. Tamper. It's time someone like cleaned that place out a little...
Lard Butt!
As If... Posted by Caliente on :
Welcome to the team Everyday Girl!!
As long as you don't infringe on my job or anything else that's mine, I'm sure we'll get along just fine.
Hell, if you still have those guns, we'll definitely be fine. Definitely.
But, seriously, love to have some more female power to torment our favorite wannabe evil genius with.
[ March 15, 2006, 12:55 PM: Message edited by: Caliente ]
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
The little sprite is on the warpath.
Just make sure EvG only beats up the 'thugs' that arent already on the payroll. If we have to hire the cat and the barbarian our payroll will be through the roof.
Posted by legionadventureman on :
I know Ev-Girl is okay, coz her Gramps is, too! Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
quote:Originally posted by legionadventureman: I know Ev-Girl is okay, coz her Gramps is, too!
That doesn't sound evil enough for this club.
Posted by legionadventureman on :
I supply Ev-Girl with her own stash of Uzis
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
So, what are the specials today, Tamper? I thought I could run some security protocols by you for Legion World and get your idea on how to promote Gil'Disphan rights on Legion World without worrying about those oppressive Earthgov terrorists trying to make their way over here...
Posted by Pizzazz on :
What an interesting club, but I admit, I have always been more of a dinner fan.
Posted by legionadventureman on :
I heard a rumour that the Sklarians and Femnazis are banding together to resurrect Thora...the REAL Thora this time Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Ask your doctor if Thora is right for you.
Posted by legionadventureman on :
I have the whip lashes to prove it!
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
It's Dominator Cuisine this week for those interested in the Table d'Hôte.
Posted by legionadventureman on :
And an appetiser fresh from the salt mines on Takron-Galtos...
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
I once ate what I thought was Dominator Pizza, but it was actually their television set.
Posted by Yellow Kid on :
You should have figured it out when you saw the pizza was tuned in to FOX News.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
It's not my fault that reality Gil'Disphan TV looks like anchioves and artichoke hearts!
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
quote:Originally posted by Yellow Kid: You should have figured it out when you saw the pizza was tuned in to FOX News.
So you figured out that Rupert Murdoch is a Dominator?
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
At least he's not a Dominatrix.
Posted by Caliente on :
Point.
Still, I better be getting a big tip for having to deal with that mental image Mr. Shakespeare....
Posted by legionadventureman on :
If Rupert Murdoch in leather drag sounds gross, Cali, did you ever see "Ed Wood"? Posted by Tamper Lad on :
Hear Ye! Hear Ye!
In honour of Cali's overwhelming, unprecedented, (I should stop gushing, it's not becoming) and success in her training to become an evil genius.
She is being promoted to a full Associate of the Club. To celebrate we will be throwing last season's shoes into the bonfire and offering discounted upgrades to all our social engineering services.
Posted by Everyday Girl on :
Ohmygod, If Mr. Tamper is supposed to be training Miss Caliente why is she always the one like giving him assignments?
So, like, what are the requirements for certification as an "Evil Genius" Anyway?
Posted by Caliente on :
Requirements? Certification? You're looking at this in the wrooong way girl. But Tamper will give you all the info you need, won't you TL?
And, EG, he follows orders like a good little evil genius because he's a cretenous male. That's what they do! Live to serve. Try it on IB or someone sometime...
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
I'm going to be really, really busy this week, doing evil but not genius-level things .... so, do you guys do take-out?
Posted by Caliente on :
For you, FC, we'd love to!! Isn't that right Tamper..?
Posted by Lucifer Lass on :
I should hang out here more often.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
The Security Office and the Evil Genius Supper Club have a great working relationship these days. They run various analysis on ways evil geniuses might run Legion World and we provide them with more than enough info on various useful things about how an evil genius club might invade Earth...
Posted by Caliente on :
Tamper! When are we going to turn this place into my girl Frio's election headquarters?? You promised!!
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
Er Yes I did, didn't I?
I assure you Legion World that I only provide these facilities to someone I know who'll rise to the challenge and lead the LMB into a new age.
Posted by Caliente on :
Such a good boy. *pats*
Posted by Spellbinder on :
Tamper is soooo whipped...
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
If Frio wins, I get to nominate the new alderman! B/t that and drinking all of the EG Supper Club's booze, I'm pretty sure I'll be spending a good amount of time here Posted by Caliente on :
quote:Originally posted by Spellbinder: Tamper is soooo whipped...
Isn't he just? I quite like it that way. Posted by Frio on :
Aww, thanks for the election headquarters sis!!
And, Cobalt Kid, I never said you get to appoint the alderman, only that you seemed to be doing it already. Don't think I didn't see the "I'm not running and you can't make me!" Election thread.
But you're still welcome to Tamper's booze. At least as long as the election's on, anyway.
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
I am not whipped. I'm simply adopting a kinder gentler phillosophy.
Yes let the free booze flow.
Posted by Caliente on :
Of course you aren't dear. *pats*
And good call! Excuse me, I hear a bloody Mary calling my name...
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
I suppose I should inspect each of the various campaign headquarters to make sure there's no Florida-style shenanigans going on.
...But... While I'm here... I could use a beverage.
Posted by Frio on :
Of course! Anything you like. Tamper Lad will be more than happy to get you settled in and help with your needs/whims/etc.
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
In keeping with the principle of trying to make a fair election,
I pledge the The large stack of kegs on my right to Frio supporters while the other candidates' supporters must make due with this piss warm six pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon.
Frio supporters please sign the declaration of support and proceed to the keg party, the rest of you please line up and get your can of PBR (While Quantities Last, void where prohibited)
Posted by Vee on :
Just stopping in to wish Frio much luck in the upcoming elections!
Did someone say Pabst? As in Blue Ribbon? I have very fond memories of that brew. Posted by Frio on :
Aww, thank you, Vee!!
And feel free to take a beer (or five). Any kind you want. Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Nice ice sculptures you've set up in here. Is that Karl Rove lurking behind the buffet?
Posted by Frio on :
Thanks! I try.
Uhm... I dunno. Who's Karl Rove?
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
One of Darkseid's many aliases.
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
I assure you, no villain of that stature would trouble himself with Legion World. We get only D-List Villains here. Now if Frio were elected, I'm sure we'd get some A-List villainy.
Posted by Disaster Boy on :
speaking of D-List villains.....
I just wanted to pop in and say good luck with the campaign Frio!
Posted by ActorLad on :
Good luck with the election Frio! You've got my vote.
Posted by Frio on :
Er, thank you Tamper Lad? I'm not actually sure how to field that one...
A definite thank you for Disaster Boy! Hope to see you on election day, handsome.
And thanks to you, too, Actor Lad. Caliente always tells me what a great guy you are, guess this just proves it. Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Okay, I think I've narrowed my choices down to you and Rocky.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
quote:Originally posted by Tamper Lad: I assure you, no villain of that stature would trouble himself with Legion World. We get only D-List Villains here.
Dude, don't sell yourself short like that.
That's our job.
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
Cali, the bug is making fun of me again....
DO SOMETHING!!!! Posted by Caliente on :
You mean besides laugh? But that sounds like work... All right.
Miner, you behave or I'll sic Everyday Girl on you. And don't think I won't-- she's been locked up in Gramps' house for ages now!! I'm sure she's just rarin' for the chance to do some real damage...
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
If you sic EG on Miner for as minor (NPI) as that, we're all in serious trouble.
Posted by Caliente on :
What do you people want from me?? I'm not the politician here!!
That's it. I'm getting one of those free drinks (or five). Deal with it yourselves.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
C'mon, hot stuff... we're all just kidding around here. right?
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
Oooooh I scared myself with the renamed title of the thread.
For a moment I read it as Frio's Election HQ at the EVERYDAY GIRL Supper Club.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
The obscure music fan in me saw EG and thought of the record label.
I should get Calamity back together to play the inauguration.
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
quote:Originally posted by Caliente: Miner, you behave or I'll sic Everyday Girl on you.
Man, it's hard out here for a bug.
Posted by Frio on :
Well, I don't know about the others, Outdoor Miner, but I'm anti-Raid.
And thanks Kent! That's half a vote I can count on at least! Posted by Caliente on :
quote:Originally posted by Kent Shakespeare: C'mon, hot stuff... we're all just kidding around here. right?
'Course we are, Kent. But I still like me some liquor... Posted by Faraway Lad on :
I feel like I am coming into this really late when the parties in full swing.
So I’ll just make like Lesley Nielsen in Airplane and spend the rest of the election going from campaign thread to campaign thread saying
Opens door, steps through.
“I just want to say everyone’s counting on you”
Closes door and leaves.
Posted by Frio on :
...well, that was strange. I hope it means he's voting for me, though. I like that Faraway Lad, he seems a good sort.
Posted by Dru the Sorceress on :
Hmmmm....nice campaign HQ you have here, Frio.
Seems a little...artificial...somehow, though......
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Frio, should you perhaps join me in my private quarters for an official leadership debate?
Posted by Frio on :
As if, Dru. You can lie all you want (and, as a former villain, I'm sure you're good at it) but the people will know the truth. I mean, just ask Cobaltus or Tamper Lad or... er, never mind.
And, if anything, you're the one who could've used your powers for enhancement. Cold shrinks things (be-lieve me). Magic... who knows?
And you make a tempting offer Cobaltus but, I must ask, who would moderate? It can't be just anyone, after all. We need someone who's willing to join in the electoral process.
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
I feel I need to step up in defence of my friend, worthy opponent, and comrade in all things icy, Frio.
She's true blue.
Okay, back to the Rookery and my own campaign.
Posted by Disaster Boy on :
quote:Originally posted by Frio: And you make a tempting offer Cobaltus but, I must ask, who would moderate? It can't be just anyone, after all. We need someone who's willing to join in the electoral process.
I feel only I can truly join in the two party spirit of the electoral process.
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
quote:Originally posted by Dru the Sorceress: Hmmmm....nice campaign HQ you have here, Frio.
Seems a little...artificial...somehow, though......
Well of course the Supper Club is an artificial environment. You think Art Deco architecture occurs spontaneously in nature?
quote:Originally posted by Frio: As if, Dru. You can lie all you want (and, as a former villain, I'm sure you're good at it) but the people will know the truth. I mean, just ask Cobaltus or Tamper Lad or... er, never mind.
OH WAIT She wasn't referring to the club? *Looks at Frio* Er yes ask Cobie about that. I can't comment, gentlemen shouldn't divulge such details.
Wait if Frio offerred me a prime position after election (with her on top of course) why haven't I gone around sabotaging the other campaigns yet?
Since I'm confident that Dru and Cobie willl self-destruct on their own, off to Rookery and that Australian place.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Self-destructing has always been part of my campaign plan!
But as for Frio, a gentleman will never tell, unless of course you mean blabbing to the guys at SHAKES after Miner and Faraway got me all hammered and stuff!
But if Frio should win, I'd gladly be behind her throughout her term!
Posted by Frio on :
Aww, thank you Rockhopper Lad. And best of luck in the election process! You're a real sweetie.
quote:Originally posted by Disaster Boy: I feel only I can truly join in the two party spirit of the electoral process.
As if I'd let you join anything after you so rudely ruined my last outfit with your paint! Be gone with you, cretinous man!
There just aren't any words for you, Tamper Lad. I suppose I should just be happy you're on my team.
quote:Originally posted by Cobalt Kid: But if Frio should win, I'd gladly be behind her throughout her term!
Does that mean you won't if I lose? I'm not sure what to hope for now. Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
quote:Originally posted by Cobalt Kid: But as for Frio, a gentleman will never tell, unless of course you mean blabbing to the guys at SHAKES after Miner and Faraway got me all hammered and stuff!
And given that we figure you're making most of it up anyway, she should have nothing to worry about.
Posted by Frio on :
Psh. As if I were worried. This is Cobaltus we're talking about!
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
How about i just turn the other candidates into cottage cheese using these custom EGI weapon systems, then Frio and I can retire to an Undisclosed Location and 'study'.
Posted by Spellbinder on :
quote:Originally posted by Frio: And you make a tempting offer Cobaltus but, I must ask, who would moderate?
I would resist the temptation if I were you, dear...
Posted by Frio on :
You're all talk, Tamper Lad. That's why it never works out. But follow through and we'll see.
quote:Originally posted by Spellbinder:
quote:Originally posted by Frio: And you make a tempting offer Cobaltus but, I must ask, who would moderate?
I would resist the temptation if I were you, dear...
No disrespect meant, Princess. I figured he'd cleared it with you or something. I mean, you do live just across the way from him and everything.
Posted by Spellbinder on :
Sometimes we must save Cobie from himself Posted by Everyday Girl on :
quote:Originally posted by Caliente: You mean besides laugh? But that sounds like work... All right.
Miner, you behave or I'll sic Everyday Girl on you. And don't think I won't-- she's been locked up in Gramps' house for ages now!! I'm sure she's just rarin' for the chance to do some real damage...
Ohmygod! Like that’s so not true! I wasn't like grounded! I just needed to spend more time like studying! Cuz, Gramps was most not happy when I only got a B+ in Differential Calculus last semester!
He’s so not fair sometimes.
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
Differntial Calculus should be easy for Everyday Girl.
The derivative is the equation of the path the bullet takes when Everyday Girl grazes the villain with a bullet. Assuming the bullet travels in a straight line of course.
Posted by Everyday Girl on :
Ohmygod! It like would be, Mr Tamper Puss, if that last batch of Kneecap Specials you made up for me were loaded properly!
I mean like seriously! 0.0129% of the 240 grain hollow-points measured out at 239.85 Grains and 0.0231% measured out at 240.123 Grains.
You try to keep a 4" grouping at 125 yards with ammo like that!
The QC at the Evil Genius Arms & Ammo Plant is seriously like slipping!
And I expect a 20% rebate on my next order because of that!
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
Well a one half of one per cent deviation from the 240 standard would seem high. I note however Everday Girl that the observed failure rate only is 360 parts per million.
I admit we have a fair bit to go before achieving six sigma quality in the manufacturing process as that would indicate a sigma of only 4.77.
Posted by Caliente on :
Good grief, Tamper, would you give it a rest already? You're boring up the EGSC!! And that is not what this campaign needs.
Posted by Frio on :
Thank you, Cali.
Just wanted to wish all my fellow candidates the best of luck and remind everyone to vote (for me)!
Kisses everyone!
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
Isn't that sweet. Vote for Frio.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Frio, allow me to be the first to thank you for a great campaign! You’re tops in my book!
Here’s lookin’ at you kid Posted by Tamper Lad on :
I think Frio left and fell off the deep end.
Posted by Frio on :
Not yet, Tamper Lad. Not yet.
And thank you, Cobaltus. You proved a worthy opponant.
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Better luck next time!
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
...and you'd BETTER run again, young lady! Posted by Gary Concord, the Ultra Man on :
Apparently the Evil Genius Supper Club has fallen on hard times since the LMBP used it to humiliate Frio during the last election.
Still, there are a few henchmen hanging around in the back room. They might be useful. and some of Tamper's borrowed technology could be handy.
I was going to wreck the place but instead I think I'll make Tamper an offer he can't refuse.
Sell it to me for 1 credit or else...
Posted by Hrun the Barbarian on :
The door bursts open, a battle axe flies through the air, skimming past CCUM it buries itself deep in a door frame. There was a moment of silence then slowly, the sleeve of CCUM’s costume slides off his shoulder and falls to the floor.
“Hrun is here. Now little man tell me of thy plan for the oath breaker”
Posted by Superboy_Prime on :
This establishment is now MINE!
Posted by Empress Frio on :
*appears in a flash of light*
No, it is NOT! It's mine! Find your own establishment little man!! I shall take it and remake it in my image. The place where I found my greatest defeat shall be the source of my greatest triumph!!
*touches the wall and transforms the EGSC into an ice palace*
Yes, this will do very nicely for a start. Much more fitting for someone with my new.. gifts. The new me.
[ February 07, 2007, 05:22 AM: Message edited by: Empress Frio ]
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
Bah both Cali and I go to the Legion World Old West theme resort for a week and a non-stop stream of disheveled villains makes this into a soup kitchen. Out, Out, Away with you miscreants this is a place of business.
Er wow Frio remember I was your biggest supporter. Did you change your hair? I like it. It's so much sexier (in that I want to stomp your sensitive parts with my stilletos way).
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Er, I hope you remember the little fling we had Frio with great fondess like I do! We had some good times together, and I look forward to many more years of friendship.
Tamper is right, your hair looks much sexier (but please, stop his sensitive parts, I don't like that kind of thing...)
Posted by Lonestar Ranger on :
Yes, Frio, I believe this will be the perfect place for you to call a headquarters.
[whisper]Notice how they act nicely towards you now, but shun you privately like they did in the election. You can never be too carefuly around this bunch...they've betrayed each other so many times that they don't remember what true loyalty is. It'll be nice to see you teach them a lesson[/whisper]
Posted by Gary Concord, the Ultra Man on :
Hello Frio, welcome back.
I was considering purchacing this property and giving it to you as a welcome back present, but I see you've handled the matter quite expiditiously on your own.
However if you could see your way to doing me one tiny little favor, would you please unfreeze the henchmen in the back room?
We're going to need them later for some drudge work.
But right now, would you care to join me for dinner?
[ February 07, 2007, 01:50 PM: Message edited by: Gary Concord, the Ultra Man ]
Posted by Overlord_Prime on :
<melts all the ice with heat vision>
You want this little club?
Very well. Consider it a showing of generousity from your one true master, "empress."
Posted by Hrun the Barbarian on :
Hrun wanders into the re created ice palace. Almost absent minded he picks up a large warm fur and throws it backwards. It lands on Superboys Primes head covering from top to toe.
Tis a noble palace for a cold lady, mayhaps she needs a Barbarians warmth to melt her frozen heart.
Hrun continues to explore, he finds and pockets a few diamond necklaces.
Posted by Empress Frio on :
Tamper. Cobalt. You claim what, exactly? Friendship? Support? Where was that as I was being humiliated time and time again by your little LMBP, hmm? The election. The diapers. Sexy or not, you boys won't be touching this anytime soon. Now get the hell out of my palace!!
Thank you, Lonestar Ranger. I quite agree with you on all counts. Betrayal is something I refuse to tolerate anymore.
Gary, you are truly too kind. I do appreciate the sentiment, though. And, I believe the worthless so-called man Overlord_Prime has melted them out by now. I will gladly refrain from refreezing them when I recreate my palace. Just give me a moment to do that, then dinner would be wonderful.
<raises arm and returns the palace to its previous state>
Note to self: Find a spell-caster to cast one of those anti-melting charms. An elemental can't waste her precious energy on such matters.
And you, Overlord_Prime-- I'm watching you. Don't think this trespass will go forgotten. Stupid little man.
There. Shall we, Gary?
[ February 07, 2007, 05:03 PM: Message edited by: Empress Frio ]
Posted by Lonestar Ranger on :
<throws down dossiers on members of the LMB, including various citizens of Legion World>
Here is what I've collected in the last eight months that I've stayed here. One LMBer owed me a favor, and in my attempts to learn the truth about another four, I began amassing my own intel.
I can tell you where our best potential targets will be...<whispers>...and do not trust the one called Rockhopper Lad most of all...in other parrallel worlds he is regarded as the most fearsome tyrant and betrayer--it will be he that attempts to bring you down with honeyed words Posted by Empress Frio on :
<ignores Hrun because... uhm, no>
Lonestar Ranger, this should prove very useful to our cause. Good work.
I can't help but wonder, though, why you chose to give these to me and not the LVMBP leader...
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
When was the last time you saw a villain follow the proper channels of control? You seem pretty naive for an Evil Empress.
'Excuse me Empress can you sign my purchase order for new equipment. Here are three competing quotes form vendors with no known conflict of interest. Also here is my Declaration of gifts i have received from them in the past 12 months'
Posted by Gary Concord, the Ultra Man on :
Tamper, I suggest you take your forms and place them oh so gently somewhere where the sun doesn't shine.
And now Empress, I think we should depart for the evening. Somewhere a bit more private.
Posted by Lonestar Ranger on :
Enjoy your dinner comrades...
<pulls out files, and begins looking through the dossiers on Caliente, Actor Lad and Tamper Lad>
Perhaps I can make this work after all...
Posted by Empress Frio on :
You know, Tamper Lad, I never liked you all that much when I wasn't evil. I advise you to tread lightly. Oh yeah, and get out of my palace!!
<shoves him outside with beam of ice>
I agree, Gary. Lead on. And thank you, Lonestar Ranger. It's good to know there are a few around who see things as I do...
Posted by Hrun the Barbarian on :
Hrun, finished stealing the diamonds, looks up and sees Lonestar Ranger sat, his uniform jacket hung over the back of the chair, bent in deep study over the files.
Using an amazing amount of stealth for one so large Hrun approaches the figure and reaches down and steals the rangers badge of office from the jacket hung over the back of the chair.
"Tis pretty, I wonder if he can help me enforce the doom placed on the head of Cobaltus"
Hrun leaves before Ranger notices him.
Posted by Lonestar Ranger on :
Hm...that barbarian must have been here again, I can smell him. But he's stealthy--surprising for one his size. Once again, I see that the only way to get the most thorough knowledge of these Legionnaires is to be among them.
But enough of that. Hrun's rage should be directed not at Cobalt Kid, who we can easily dispatch, but at the leader, Kid Marvel.
<begins piling up some intel>
Now the time comes to approach Frio, and let her know of my 'plan' to bring Caliente into our group.
Posted by Empress Frio on :
Hmm. My palace has been suspiciously quiet as of late. I must admit, though I enjoy the solitude that for so long eluded me, it's a bit... dull. Perhaps a LVMBP party?
No, no. That's not me talking. That's her. I'll just have to work harder to squash her spirit. On the plus side, things seem to be progressing nicely on all other fronts.
Posted by Gary Concord, the Ultra Man on :
Frio, I've decided we need a night out on the town. And since Legion World doesn't offer any truely refined entertainment, I've obtained tickets to the re-written version of 101 Dalmations currently being performed on Baddass World.
You can cheer for Cruella and I'll buy you a full length black and white fur coat after the show.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Wow, that must have been some night out on the town. Our goal of the LVMBP becoming as debaucherous as us is working--they haven't been seen in days, most likely hungover and full of regrets!
Posted by Empress Frio on :
Just because that's how most of your dates end, Cobaltus, doesn't mean the rest of the 'verse conforms to your low standards. And just because you can't see us, doesn't mean we're not here...
Posted by Faraway Lad on :
My dear Empress, if the LMBP cant see you and you are not causing trouble (ie interfering with the beer supply) then you are, by the standards of the LMBverse you are not a problem.
I think it is a side effect of the live and let live attitude most LMB member seem to have. After all if Thora, and Tamper can live and “operate” here unmolested, why not you.
Heck we actually welcome Lard Lad and Hrun to the fold, compares to them you guys seem like real gentlemen.
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
Did you hear that? Frio is threatening the beer supply on St. Patricks day. Of all the Blarney...
Even though she's seized the Club and my considerable stores of beer in the cellar, you can act now to protect yourself from future shortages and price increases by buying your beer under a fixed price contract.
While the spot price remain 67 dollars per barrel for American Lager the market price could double or even triple in a matter of hours.
So protect your family's livlihood by locking in a five year contract at 129.99 per barrel.
Posted by Faraway Lad on :
thats my Tamper, spots a business opportunity in every location.
But tell me why did you start talking about Beer then move on to something called "American Lager" is that like Beer? or is it something else?
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
I believe it's a seltzer.
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
American Lager is a drink that Khunds give their children when they want to ween them from their mothers' bosom.
Posted by Joe-Boy Harvestar on :
Its Like having Sex in a Canooe.... (because it F*&%ing near water) *tumbleweed blows by*
Posted by Empress Frio on :
Hmm. It seems I have been hibernating in her for too long. There have been many changes... I must reattune myself with this place and find a way to further my goals. With or without the LVMBP.
Posted by Ram Boy on :
*Tosses Empress Frio a copy of "Refrigerator Tuning and Achieving World Domination for Dummies"*
Posted by Gary Concord, the Ultra Man on :
<Magnetically tosses Ram Boy out of the Ice Palace>
Frio, I'm here.
Posted by Faraway Lad on :
Sends GCtUM Faraway.
Now hes not sorry.
Now about that beer supply?
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Perhaps Frio's long absence has given her time to rethink her stance? Hopefully she can rejoin us and things could be like they once were. I still have hope...
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Frio, the LVMBP is just using you! Grape-boy is never going to share control - why settle for being his second banana?
Posted by Gary Concord, the Ultra Man on :
<Returns from where Faraway sent him. His clothes are ragged, ripped, and torn. His face is grimy, unshaven, and gaunt. It's obvious he hasn't eaten or slept in days.>
Frio...
<He collapses and lays motionless.>
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
at least now we know what it takes to shut him up.
Posted by Empress Frio on :
The lack of respect shown to my palace bodes very ill, indeed.
Gary, I apologize for not being here for you. Perhaps now that we have both recovered, we might carry on as we once were..?
Posted by Gary Concord, the Ultra Man on :
M'lady Frio, as ever my heart is yours...
Posted by Empress Frio on :
I am... relieved at your current state, Gary, but alarmed by your recent alliances in my absence. Please we have much to discuss. But first-- privacy.
<places a magical ice shield around them>
There, we are suitably protected. Now, I believe there is much you must update me on. Where has Lonestar Ranger gone? Why have you aided the Security Office? Is the LVMBP no more?
I have heard nothing but the barest rumblings for weeks. As I'm sure you can understand, it has been most disconcerting.
<takes his hand in hers>
Please, you are the only one left I trust. Especially now that my so-called sister Caliente has taken another so deeply into her confidence that she would marry him.
Despicable, the both of them.
Posted by Gary Concord, the Ultra Man on :
There are a few things you must understand M'Lady.
Dominion over a pile of rubble was never our goal and that is all that will be left of Legion World if we allow the Security Office to handle most of these issues on their own. And each issue we resolve for them strengthens our position as it weakens theirs.
The real power on Legion World lies in the Security Office. Cobalt Kid has always known this. Elected Leaders come and go but CK is Security Chief (or whatever title he chooses to use while he pretends that Abin Quank and matlock are actually running the Security Office) for LIFE.
And there is no way short of assassination or armed rebellion to remove him from that position.
But as this series of events unfolds I am slowly usurping CK's authority. LMBPers are beginning to look to me for the answers to their problems... Even CK and LardLad... As things move on it will become easier and easier to supplant the roles filled by CK's sycophants with our people.
Lonestar is working behind the scenes... and now that you're back...
Posted by Lonestar Ranger on :
Gary Concord is right, my dear...
<enters>
Certain subtleties are needed at first, before we give these fools the show of force they so desperately need. Even now Gary Concord is causing a rift between longtime friends on playing on certain fears.
And in the meantime, I’m working on a separate, but equally beneficial plan that will help our goals. The Legion World economy has forever hinged on the wealth of but a small handful of Legionnaires, including royalty, nobles and former triumvirs. And that is how I will hurt them the most.
But do not think I have not forgotten my promise. I will turn Caliente to our side so that your sister can join you and enjoy the great life we are going to make for ourselves. Even now, I’m working to distance her from her newly wedded husband to do so. I only will need some more time, so that she can reach these conclusions on her own.
Posted by Empress Frio on :
Well, that is relieving, at least. I'm pleased you've been able to make progress in my absense. I am, of course, at your service for whatever we may need to next further our agenda.
(For as long as it serves my interests, anyway.)
<looks to Lonestar>
Turn Caliente? Yes, I think that shall satisfy her well enough. Thank you, Lonestar Ranger, for your constant vigilance on this matter. Perhaps my trust has not been misplaced in this matter.
Posted by Gary Concord, the Ultra Man on :
<Watches Frio's interaction with Lonestar silently, while wondering to himself who exactly would be satisfied if Caliente were "turned">
Frio my dear, I believe a small celebration is in order. Would you care to join me for dinner? And perhaps a show?
Posted by Empress Frio on :
I'm not sure I've ever turned down a celebration. If everything is in order for the time being, I don't see any reason not to continue our discussions elsewhere.
<offers a hand to Gary>
Shall we then?
Posted by Lonestar Ranger on :
Enjoy yourselves. I'll continue my work to ensure we move our plans to the next step.
I can confirm, Frio, that Caliente is on the very cusp of joining us. Its her new fiance, Actor Lad, and that annoying Tamper Lad that keep her from us. I'll deal with them.
Posted by Lonestar Ranger on :
While they're out on the town, I can let things continue as planned. Even now some choice investments have inflated the stocks of several of Legion World's most renowned publicly held entities. While that creates higher expectations among Space-Streeters, I can prepare for the economic ransom we'll hold.
And at last...Caliente will be with me! With us I should say...
Posted by Gary Concord, the Ultra Man on :
<Concord Appears, seemingly from nowhere with the unconscious form of Caliente floating beside him>
I know you'll never believe me Caliente, but I only want some answers...
You've been awake for a while now... in 3 seconds I'm going to drop the mag shell supporting you. I suggest you move quickly...
Posted by Caliente on :
<opens her eyes and crosses her arms, a strangely blank expression on her face>
Fine.
(I am so tired of being kidnapped. I swear, if I ever end up in a refrigerator, I'm screwed.)
Posted by Gary Concord, the Ultra Man on :
First off you're free to leave any time you choose... and unless I miss my guess you know this place far better than I do. I brought you here because it's someplace where you should feel comfortable.
But I need to find out a few things about Frio.
I've grown quite fond of her and I believe that she thinks quite highly of me.
But lately... something seems to be wrong... she's growing colder... not to me, to everyone and everything... She's always been a hard-edged woman, but never coldly callus, at least as far as I know...
Something happened and I need to know what that something is. But all I have to go on is a name...
Who or What is the Empress?
Posted by Caliente on :
The Empress? Who's that? What are you talking about? Do you mean Empress Frio? That-that's what she started calling herself after she reappeared last year all... different.
*sighs* Look, I-I'll tell you everything I know about what's been happening with Frio but you probably know more about her than I do.
But Gary, you have to know... Lardy said Frio was dead. He said that she said Frio was dead... after she killed the Lonestar Ranger. Killed! Frio! She would never...
<dissolves into tears>
Did you know he was blackmailing me to marry her? I just wanted to save my best friend. And now? Now she's dead!
<is overcome by uncontrollable sobbing>
Posted by Gary Concord, the Ultra Man on :
Frio is not dead. Neither is Lonestar.
I would know if either of them were... even if...
Believe me Girl your sister/best friend is alive...
I'm just not positive she really is Frio anymore.
How did Frio get her powers?
For that matter, how did you get your powers?
Posted by Caliente on :
*sniff* Not-not dead? I mean, I know I would know if she was really dead but... but something's been wrong. For a long time. And Lardy seemed so sure that she-- God, I can't imagine her ever killing anyone. It's just not... it's so not her.
Look, *blows nose* you have to know, Frio wasn't always like this. I've known her longer than anyone else here and all that I know is that she had a really hard life before coming to Legion World.
She buried it all with a party girl attitude. think she wanted to have some fun because they were so cruel to her on Tharr. Oh, that's how she got her powers. They're biological-- all sentients on her plants have them. But she was different. That's why they called her Frio and exiled her and... God...
What if she's really gone? I always thought I'd know. After I got my powers-- which are none of your business, by the way, and not open for discussion-- we had this special bond. I mean, we went from best friends to sisters.
Fire and Ice.
I miss her so much...
But, *points her finger at Gary* do not for a minute think that I trust you, Grape Boy. I'm not sure you've ever been any good for Frio. She was happy before you came along. Well, actually, she seemed a little lonely but still, we were fine without you. It would've been fine. It would've.
And now she's gone.
<starts crying again>
Posted by Gary Concord, the Ultra Man on :
I'm beginning to believe that your power is super-crying. Can you shut the waterworks down long enough to have a simple conversation?
So Frio is from Tharr, but her powers don't seem to work the same way most Tharrian's do... And I don't believe she's a cold blooded killer either... I think...
What I think doesn't matter right now...
Did her powers change while she was gone? Get Stronger? More versitile?
Did she tell you where she was while she was gone?
Posted by Caliente on :
Shut up, you misogynist. *sniff* No wonder Frio went evil.
Change? Uh.. well, she seemed more powerful, definitely. That's when she created this place. She also seemed to have a magical component. And the teleporting was new.
But I don't know where she went when she was gone. That was the time she joined the LVMBP and refused to talk to me anymore, except the occasional snide comment.
Posted by Nova Girl on :
DUDE!?! Tamper when are you gonna get your club back? Daddy needs a place to drink and smoke his cigars.
Wait don't tell me, the club's losing money. So you want the the LMB to fight in here and smash stuff up so you can collect the insurance?
Posted by Gary Concord, the Ultra Man on :
Caliente, I seriously doubt that Frio could ever be classified as "Evil."
And I know for a fact that I have no influence over any choice she makes with regard to imposed versions of morality.
But for the past few months I've watched a subtle change come over her and I'm afraid that change is the result of an outside influence.
An Influence which calls itself "The Empress."
I need your help to rescue Frio from that influence...
Will you help me?
Posted by Caliente on :
I might hate myself for this, but... if I was willing to marry Lonestar Ranger to help her, I suppose I could partner with the likes of you. I'm in, Gary. (Until you try for the inevitable double-cross, that is.)
Whether Frio is really gone or not, The Empress-- whoever she is-- must be stopped. I just hope it's really not too late. She was my best friend once upon a time and she saved my life as much as I saved hers. Maybe more. I owe her that much.
So, what's your plan? And it better not involve hurting any of Legion World's non-evil sentients...
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
GAH Can someone just get her so I can have my club back? I need to clean up this insurance nightmare. Even the Claremont Insurance Company won't pay off claims that have been dangling this long.
Also the Colonel needs a place to hide his drinking and cigar smoking from that overbearing battleaxe wife of his. Er I mean spend evenings in good fellowship with men of adventurous spirit.
Posted by Gary Concord, the Ultra Man on :
No Plan, Yet!
There's too much we just don't know...
And trust me, I never hurt people who don't deserve to be hurt... I simply have no regrets when someone who does deserve a beat-down gets what is coming to them.
Stopping the Empress without hurting Frio will be difficult but I'm confident we can do what needs to be done.
Posted by Caliente on :
Fair enough, I suppose. I should probably go, y'know, fight zombies and things. Contact me when you have any leads and I'll keep my ears open. And, thank you, Gary. I-- well, anyway. See you soon.
(Sniff. I really hope Frio's going to be okay. No time to worry now, though. Got to put on a brave front and get to work. I have responsibilities and there's nothing I can do for her now.)
<smacks Tamper Lad on her way out>
Tamper, come help us. We could use your suffragettes or whatever it is you've got up your sleeves these days.
Oh, and don't worry. I'm sure once we stop The Empress, the spell keeping the Ice Palace whole will be gone. (And then I can finally get my job back. Yay tips.)
<catches sight of the Tameranian>
Hey, Nova Girl! Good to see you haven't fallen into the super genius abyss or whatever. If you're feeling your warrior's rage, feel free to help out, too.
Zombie, ho.
Posted by Nova Girl on :
Zombie fighting really burns off the calories. Relax Tamper, I'll keep them off your big swollen head.
Posted by Gary Concord, the Ultra Man on :
<Appears via magic teleportation, encased in ice...>
That didn't go well...
<Magnetically shatters the ice>
Cobalt is right about one thing... I know which side I need to be on...
Posted by Hel on :
<without Hel's magic, the Ice Palace slowly begins to melt... revealing the Evil Genius Supper Club once more>
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
Wouldn't you know it....
It's restored the day before the insurance lady was going to come for a final inspection of the total write off that this business had become and give me the cheque...
Posted by Everyday Girl on :
Ohmygod! Hey Mr Tamper-Puss, can a girl get a drink over here?
This place needs a like Matre Dufus or some such junk.
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
Sorry EDG, the bar is not stocked my staff has moved on.
I understand my former hostess has been elected leader or some such nonsense.
You are welcome to help yourself to anything you can find in the bar. What is the legal drinking age around here anyway?
Posted by Everyday Girl on :
Ohmygod!
The only thing I could find behind the bar was sour mix... Bleah...
No wonder Mr Tamper-Puss is such an...
Posted by Nova Girl on :
He is of an acerbic disposition. Like he's been sucking a pickle all his life.
Good news, Daddy has just written a cheque to reopen the club. No more camping out with his volunteer army on the badminton lawns and the putting greens.
It'll be nice to have the grounds available to entertain guests again. I can't wait to beat the boys on the links.
Posted by Lard Lad on :
Tamper, I think the time is ripe for you andthe EGSC to wipe the floors with SHAKES and Cafe Cramer and offer the best liquor, coffee and liquor/coffee on Legion World! Their competitive instincts SUCK! What're you waiting for?!?!?!
Posted by Caliente on :
He's just sad because I had to retire as hostess what with my Leader duties and all. Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Tamper's too busy using the 21st Century sub-prime lending crisis to his advantage to buy stocks that pay dividends into trusts that pay out 1,000 years later. We were able to round-up some old Dominion time-sphere/Schwab accounts to do so.
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
Bah fiat currencies are so yesterday's news. Everyone knows that after the crisis of the 22nd century the whole galaxy demanded payment in specie.
Coins are minted in the metals most useful to galactic commerce. Since war is a constant Uranium 235 and Plutonium 239 coins are universally valued amongst the cultures of the galaxy. Even where gold and silver are shunned.
Posted by Lard Lad on :
So...reading between the lines...I'm guessing this means Tamper's too chicken to take out Cramer and SHAKES?!?!?
<bok-bok-BOK>
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
The Club does not compete with those other fine establishments. We engage in co-opetition.
The imperfect oligopolistic competition which exists between the businesses creates a revenue maximizing situation. I grant that crushing the Bar and Cafe would increase EGSC revenues slightly. However profits would actually shrink because the EGSC would have to serve markets we don't really have a handle on.
For example if Cramer's closed, Everyday Girl and her little friends would come in here looking for slushy coffee type drinks and no one wants that.
Posted by Lard Lad on :
Yeah, yeah...want a Zima with that chicken?
<bok-bok-BOK>
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
What Tamper said.
If EGSC closed, the café would be overrun with evil-doers and we have a hard enough time repairing damage from flying axes.
Of course, if a certain algorithm were to open an establishment, one might see the oligarchs move swiftly to crush it to meaningless code sequences. We have a nicely balanced system going here.
Posted by Gary Concord, an Ultra Man on :
<Gary Concord is sitting in his private booth at the rear of the dining area watching the news monitors covering recent events.>
Tamper, I'm fairly certain that the Security Office will be sending some Redshirts here looking for me in the near future.
Tell them I'll be turning myself in for questioning later this morning.
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Good]](graemlins/angel.gif)
Did you want anything LAM or Cru? The food's not half bad...
![[ROTFLMAO]](graemlins/rotflmao.gif)
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
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![[LOL]](graemlins/lol.gif)
![[No]](graemlins/shake.gif)
I'd tell you you were despicable but, knowing you, you'd like it.![[Shudder]](graemlins/shudder.gif)
![[Yes]](graemlins/nod.gif)
Try it on IB or someone sometime...
![[Hug]](graemlins/hug.gif)
![[sob]](graemlins/sob.gif)
![[sigh]](graemlins/sigh.gif)
All right.![[Cheers]](graemlins/cheers.gif)