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Posted by Hrun the Barbarian on :
 
Since these rooms were empty, (except for a few dozen mewling ceorls) I have taken them as my abode.

All honorable warriors who come as friends are welcome. My slaves will see to your every whim.

Come there is meat, fish and fresh baked bread.

Lets us raise our horns and drink Mead to the Gods.


Lash Slave you may oil my body now. I wish to look my best for my guests.

[ July 24, 2004, 10:50 AM: Message edited by: Hrun the Barbarian ]
 

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Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Hrun, I just stopped in to bring you a hall-warming gift. There are ten kegs of mead outside. Perhaps your barbarian hordes could help bring them in. And one other thing - a special axe-proof dart board for your gaming pleasure. I had Emerald Empress enchant it with a self-healing spell. So destroy it all you wish, it will repair itself before you can inoke Odin's name.
 

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Posted by Hrun the Barbarian on :
 
"See thru man, I welcome you to my Hall. Your gifts are warmly accepted.

Lash Slave shall bring the mead into my hall. You may watch his sweating muscled body closely as he does so, to ensure he does not damage the mead in any way."

Hrun throws axe at Dart board, it splits and reforms immediately.


"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH I like this. Please take this, a gift for a gift
 

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Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
I like it - what is it?
 

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Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
 
I gladly enter, might barbarian!

I present you ten of my finest groupies, to provide wenching entertainment for us and your guests!

<Hurls axe at dartboard>

HA! Let the drinking continue!
 

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Posted by Varalent on :
 
Hi Hrun! Just stopped by to welcome you to the neighborhood. The Hall looks great. I particularly like the open fire pits. Is that wild boar roasting on a spit over there?

I see Semi has already brought you plenty of mead and a terrific axe resistant dart board, so I brought you a hand made Hrun Coat of Arms to be proudly displayed just above your high seat in the Hall! Hope you like it, I had it imported from far, far away just for you

[ July 24, 2004, 12:37 PM: Message edited by: Varalent ]
 

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Posted by Hrun the Barbarian on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:
I gladly enter, might barbarian!

I present you ten of my finest groupies, to provide wenching entertainment for us and your guests!

<Hurls axe at dartboard>

HA! Let the drinking continue!

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quote:

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Originally posted by Varalent:
Hi Hrun! Just stopped by to welcome you to the neighborhood. The Hall looks great. I particularly like the open fire pits. Is that wild boar roasting on a spit over there?

I see Semi has already brought you plenty of mead and a terrific axe resistant dart board, so I brought you a hand made Hrun Coat of Arms to be proudly displayed just above your high seat in the Hall! Hope you like it, I had it imported from far, far away just for you

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quote:

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Originally posted by Future:
I dig the decor, Hrun. Great job! The Mighty Quinn M. would be proud.

I don't have much to offer to a new neighbor, outside of a handshake and some wood for the fire that I happened to stumble upon down the way.

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throw the wood in the fire pits brave warrior. your gift to Hrun is a fine one indeed.

i offer you

Now sit and eat of my table
 

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Posted by Hrun the Barbarian on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Fat Cramer:
Nice hall and all, Hrun. Now let's hear that great love song of jorvik! It should bring back memories of my youth.

I brought you 10 beehives. That should add enough honey for increased mead production. Seeing as how you seem to be the sociable entertaining sort, I expect you'll be throwing a lot of parties. And axes.

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Beehives! Oh most Noble lady, tis a great gift you bring. Slaves. Take this to my fields at once.

And now fair maiden, please sit here at my right hand. Perhaps you will take some food?

<claps hands>

Bring me my bard that he might sing for the most beauteous maiden in this Hall.
 

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Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
 
Your majestic Hrun! While I may lack the well-developed musculature that made your former slave so fit for physical labor, my skill as a bard and court jester are impeccable! I ask that I might be blessed with the opportunity to entertain this beauteous maiden of whom you speak!
 

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Posted by Hrun the Barbarian on :
 
So be it.

You must sing a love song. the most moving one you know, tho it will be but a pale echo of the loveliness of m'lady Cramer.

sing it well and a gold belt with a fine, well crafted hunting dagger will be yours

Now bring more food and drink for my guests
 

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Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
 
My greatest wish is that this might please both you and the lovely Miss Cramer!

<begins to sing and strum lute>

Alone by the fire, a warrior I knew
Told me this tale, and I pray it is true.

From far Ansteorra our dragon-ship came
To fight for good Halidar on Lilied plain
My sword I had lent seeking honor and fame
Or Odin's great hall in the fray

We charged into battle, the sun beating high
Our battle-horns sounding a victory nigh
Our spears crossed their arrows like hawks in the sky
Leaving many men dead on the way

Sing me no songs of angels I pray
For a Valkyrie found me in battle that day

The battle was long and the sun was like fire
The heat drove us down like a funeral pyre
Though many I'd slain, now my bloodlust did tire
Struck down by the heat of the day

The battle moved onward from where I was laid
I drew of my helmet to rest in the shade
When a soft even tread, like the wind in a glade
Brought a daughter of Asgard my way

Sing me no songs of angels I pray
For a Valkyrie found me in battle that day

She gave me cool drink 'till my wits came again
Be fore I could speak she was gone like the wind
Had I but died, I could follow her then
But I lay with the living that day

Long I did search, a full year I have mourned
And told all my brothers this love I have bourne
But she is of Asgard, and I of this shore
So here with my brothers I stay

Sing me no songs of angels I pray
For a Valkyrie found me in battle that day

True to this dream like the tale I have told
Close to my heart, a small pouch I still hold
And in it a lock of her hair pure as gold
This I carry to battle this day

Alone by the fire
A warrior I knew
Told me this tale
And I pray it is true.....
 

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Posted by Hrun the Barbarian on :
 
<stamps hand on table in applause>

By ODIN twas a fine song. I know this warrior of whom you sing, and have seen the very lock of Valkyrie hair whilst we fought together on the Northern Wall.

Here, tonight you have earned your prize.

<throws gold belt to the bard>

Now sing again, a joyous song, let us all lift up our voices and sing of the joy of battle against the painted men of the north
 

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Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
 
Perhaps this great song of battle might please the mighty Hrun?

<plucks lute, begins singing>

Ah, ah,
We come from the land of the ice and snow,
From the midnight sun where the hot springs blow.
The hammer of the gods
Will drive our ships to new lands,
To fight the horde, singing and crying:
Valhalla, I am coming!
On we sweep with threshing oar,
Our only goal will be the western shore.
Ah, ah,
We come from the land of the ice and snow,
From the midnight sun where the hot springs blow.
How soft your fields so green,
Can whisper tales of gore,
Of how we calmed the tides of war.
We are your overlords.
On we sweep with threshing oar,
Our only goal will be the western shore.
So now you'd better stop and rebuild all your ruins,
For peace and trust can win the day
Despite of all your losing.
 

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Posted by MLLASH on :
 
*Lash watches from a window outside*

>hmmph!!< Hrun never gave ME any gold. Look at the way he's fawning all over Eryk!

And Eryk-- what a tart!!
 

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Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
 
This, my great lord, is among my favorite songs. I hope it pleases!

<Strums lute, begins singing>

And ride with us young bonny lass ---
with the angels of the night.
Crack wind clatter --- flesh rein bite on an out-size
unicorn.
Rough-shod winging sky blue flight on a cold wind
to Valhalla.
And join with us please --- Valkyrie maidens cry
above the cold wind to Valhalla.
Break fast with the gods. Night angels serve
with ice-bound majesty.
Frozen flaking fish raw nerve ---
in a cup of silver liquid fire.
Moon jet brave beam split ceiling swerve and light
the old Valhalla.
Come join with us please --- Valkyrie maidens cry
above the cold wind to Valhalla.
The heroes rest upon the sighs of Thor's trusty
hand maidens.
Midnight lonely whisper cries,
``We're getting a bit short on heroes lately.''
Sword snap fright white pale goodbyes in the
desolation of Valhalla.
And join with us please --- Valkyrie maidens ride
empty-handed on the cold wind to Valhalla.
 

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Posted by MLLASH on :
 
*still watching*

Wha..! I've heard better voices on a bad karaoke night. But you'd think Eryk's Whitney Houston from the way Hrun's slobbering over his singing!!!

Stupid barbarian!
 

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Posted by MLLASH on :
 
*Lash walking away*

So Hrun prefers Eryk to me. Good. Like I care!! I don't care!!! I don't care anythng about Hrun's rebellious hair, chiseled jawline, or massive nipples!

I hope Eryk and Hrun are very happy together. Really, I do.

>hmmph!< I'd like to see Eryk take a punch to the jaw like I did...! It would probably break his face! *heh!* Break his face...
 

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Posted by Future on :
 
Lash, I was half expecting you to yell, "Stupid! All of you stupid!"



Hrun, sir, do you plan on having regular bard performances and feasts in your new hall?
 

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Posted by Arachne on :
 
Now who in their right mind would call Hrun stupid?

Just thought I'd stop by with a case of Opal Nera in case you got tired of that mead stuff.
 

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Posted by Fat Cramer on :
 
A case of Opal Nera! That's a princely gift.

Hrun, you're a great host. We'll have to do another barbarian feast next week - perhaps your bard can sing a few tales of your exploits. I'd love to hear how you fought with Beowulf.

I do wish you'd treat your slave better, though. Good slaves are hard to come by these days.
 

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Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
 
Don't worry Lash! Did you see the way Hrun looked at me when I carried you in my arms to safety? It was pure rage and jealousy! I thought he was going to rip my head off for holding your naked body!

Obviously, he sees EDE as his Bard/Jester-little brother! Who can blame him with ballads like that?

I say the two of us arrive in style tonight with wenches and exotic beasts and show Hrun's hall how to party in style!
 

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Posted by Hrun the Barbarian on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Eryk Davis Ester:
This, my great lord, is among my favorite songs. I hope it pleases!

&

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quote:

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Originally posted by MLLASH:
*Lash walking away*

So Hrun prefers Eryk to me. Good. Like I care!! I don't care!!! I don't care anythng about Hrun's rebellious hair, chiseled jawline, or massive nipples!

I hope Eryk and Hrun are very happy together. Really, I do.

>hmmph!< I'd like to see Eryk take a punch to the jaw like I did...! It would probably break his face! *heh!* Break his face...

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quote:

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Originally posted by Future:
Lash, I was half expecting you to yell, "Stupid! All of you stupid!"



Hrun, sir, do you plan on having regular bard performances and feasts in your new hall?

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quote:

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Originally posted by Hrun the Barbarian:
Throws axe in a friendly way at EDE's head.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Fat Cramer:
A case of Opal Nera! That's a princely gift.

Hrun, you're a great host. We'll have to do another barbarian feast next week - perhaps your bard can sing a few tales of your exploits. I'd love to hear how you fought with Beowulf.

I do wish you'd treat your slave better, though. Good slaves are hard to come by these days.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Cobalt Kid:

I say the two of us arrive in style tonight with wenches and exotic beasts and show Hrun's hall how to party in style!

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Cobaltus, I look forward to your arrival. Bring me wenches aplenty.

The Beasts shall remain you own personal area
 

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Posted by Hrun the Barbarian on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Arachne:
Now who in their right mind would call Hrun stupid?

Just thought I'd stop by with a case of Opal Nera in case you got tired of that mead stuff.

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this gift you bring me sweet maiden is unknown to me. But I give thanks to Baldur for bringing you to me with it.

Please accept this necklace of fine diamonds in return
 

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Posted by Arachne on :
 
How could a girl ever resist.
 

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Posted by Hrun the Barbarian on :
 
Come sit and spin me a tale.
 

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Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
 
Hrun, you certainly have a way with the ladies (and the boys!).

<Hurls axe over Hrun's head in friendly way, so that a keg of mead opens up and fills everyone's glass>

Come all, the more the merrier!
 

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Posted by Hrun the Barbarian on :
 
Hrun has returned to his Halls. Rejoice!

The dragon ships sit in the harbour, with bellies full of booty.

We sailed to this land of the Empress and took a small tower. The Jarl who was lord there was a coward. He and his Fryd fled as we approached. It was wise on their part as we would have slain every last man.

There was Emerald's for all in that tower. Cobaltus took as his share all the maidens, alas, so we have no slaves to share.

But come, drink, be joyous.

Hrun has returned. Where is my Bard?

[ August 02, 2004, 01:54 PM: Message edited by: Hrun the Barbarian ]
 

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Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
 
Glory and Honor have persevered!

I am ready to being a long drinking binge to celebrate a victorious campaign!

Long Live Legion World!
 

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Posted by Stoopid Cat on :
 
**Purr**

<Slides in silently through one of the thousands of Cat tesseract passageways>

Hmmm, a little message on Hrumnf's favorite cushion should let him know that his "pussy hunting" will only get him hurt.

<Deposits a large and highly aromatic "Message" on Hrumf favorite Smurf Seat Cushion then slips out through another Cat Tesseract>

**Purr**

[ August 02, 2004, 11:28 PM: Message edited by: Stoopid Cat ]
 

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Posted by Hrun the Barbarian on :
 
"WONDERFUL. Tis a gift from the gods, fuel for to warm the very rafters of my Hall"

Hrun picks up large flat pat and throws it on the fire where it burns brightly.

Tis time to feast!

Slaves bring meat and drink
 

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Posted by Miss Terious on :
 
Using techniques of stealth taught me by Val and Tasmia, I gain entry into the Hall of Valhalla. I see no sign of Hrun the Barbarian but I do take notice of several vid-zines devoted to pussy. He is, most assuredly, a devoted hunter of the beast. I leave the Hall before I am found and go to check on my prisoner Kent Shakespeare. Our day of reckoning will come, Hrun - oh, it will come.

[ August 04, 2004, 06:54 PM: Message edited by: Miss Terious ]
 

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Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
 
Still tied up. ready and waiting!
 

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Posted by Jinx on :
 
*sniff... sniff*

<enters Hruns Hall of Vallhalla. Notices kegs of mead. Eyes begin to glow. Kegs of mead mysteriously fall to the floor, bursting open, and . Runs quickly from Hall.>
 

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Posted by Hrun the Barbarian on :
 
Hrun returns to his halls and splashes through the spilled mead.

He reverentially places the statues he has rescued in an alcove to the side of hall. And places many gifts of jewels and fruits and wine at their feet.

"I shall protect and preserve these statues from those who would deface them"


Sniffing he notices a cat smell. Turning he sees Jinks running from the hall and throws a half full keg of mead. It bounces off the wall and covers the cat in a golden shower.
 

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Posted by Stoopid Cat on :
 
**Hiss**

<Sits at the terminus of a tesseract directly above Hurnfb's favorite chair patiently waiting for his return...>

**Hiss**
 

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Posted by Hrun the Barbarian on :
 
As Hrun sits down he yawns and stretches. As he does so he throws his hands up. One if Hruns huge ham like fists travels up through the tesseract and catches SC just on the bum. The force of the blow sends SC spinning off through another tesseract.

Unfortunately SC is unable to stop the action planned for Hrun and is very embarrassed to leave a large smelly deposit in the swimming pool at Varalents Villa.

**Hiss**

That oafish clod. Wait till I see him next

**Hiss**
 

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Posted by Future on :
 
Phew. Good thing the Villa's pool is still empty.
 

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Posted by Hrun the Barbarian on :
 
Hrun, returns to his halls, battered and bloody from his battle.

He moves over to an alcove and steps in. A warm golden glow washes over him and he steps out fresh, and with a new harder, longer and even more shiny helmet. A new set of chain mail armour, with greives, and a new shield, and Hrun is ready to start out again.

Taking a small amulet from a trunk Hrun sets out on his hunt once more.
 

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Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
I think I better turn invisible before I go in. Wow what a big hall. All the better to hold that huge mound of cat poo.
 

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Posted by Hrun the Barbarian on :
 
Using powers granted to them by the green folk Hruns guards can see the invisible man. They watch for a few moments, amused as Semi thinks he is unseen.

After a while they decide to act.

Detaching themselves from the ceiling beams where they had blended in with the intricately carved horses, lions and other, more fantastical, creatures they start to slowly creep down the fluted columns.

Half way down the Griffins leap. As two fly overhead a third pounces on Semi. Quickly overpowering him the Griffin roars defiance into the heroes face.

"Phew! do you need some breath freshener" says a winded Semi.

Acting with an intelligence belied by their monstrous appearance the Griffins somehow manage to tie semi in a large chain. Then they fly up to a hight of about 10 feet and drop him, PLOP, into the large pile of cat poo he has just brought in.

After that they fly him back to Shakes and drop the now very ripe smelling semi into the pool.
 

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Posted by Stoopid Cat on :
 
**ROAR**

The TIGER GOD AVATAR leaps out of a tesseract directly in front of Hrun.

"Looking for a little pussy, Hrunbf?"

The shock on Hrun's ugly mug is evident but his warrior instincts quickly take over and the battle begins.

Elfwine whirls and cuts... the TIGER GOD AVATAR's claws slash... within seconds both combatants are a bloody mess but neither backs down in the slightest.

The battle quickly takes a toll on the barbarian's sanctum. The rough hewn furniture of the hall is smashed beyond repair, it's wall hangings are shredded, casks of mead are smashed, and the fire pit is demolished...

The fire rages around the two combatants but neither notices - both are in the clutches of their private berserker rages.

Slowly and at great cost the battle turns in favor of the TIGER GOD AVATAR and Hrun is forced to retreat. Behind the sole remaining undamaged wall hanging is a tunnel. Hrun bolts thru it and triggers a dead fall that blocks the entrance.

**ROAR**

The TIGER GOD AVATAR's rage is unabated, he demolishes what is left of Hrun's hall then leaps into a tesseract - leaving the now raging fire to finish the destruction.

"NOW I'M HUNTING YOU, HRUNBF! MAYBE I'LL TURN YOU INTO A BARBARIAN SKIN POUCH FOR A PUSSY TO KEEP THINGS IN!!!"

**ROAR**
 

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Posted by Harbinger on :
 
HRUN!!!

Cowardly cat torturer, get your bullying ass here now or I'm going to play this tape of my 13 year olds first lessons! Trust me, you big cowardly cat torturer, it's worse than you could ever imagine!

<with that B reaches into a private tesseract -wotever they are - and produces a monster sound system with two humungous speakers and proceeds to play a tape of some of the most abortive attempts at brass music ever heard on Legion World. For miles around dogs start howling - those that haven't fled! Birds break into random flight, trying desperately to escape the deafening noise, and EARS start to bleed!!!>

<Even above this hell spawned din Harbingers challenge rings out>
 

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Posted by Stoopid Cat on :
 
**Roar**

The Sound and the Fury...

**Roar**
 

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Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Using the powers of my sister, Semi Transatlantic Filly (who can appear simultaneously in two places at once), I split so that one of me remains behind at the Hall. Still invisible, the guards do not realize that I am still there. As they turn their backs, I kick each one into the pile of poop. I then rejoin my other self for a refreshing swim in SHAKES pool.
 

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Posted by Harbinger on :
 
HRUN!!

By not showing your cowardly craven cat torturing self for the last 12 hours after being challenged in your own halls, under the Barbarians Act, subsection 4, paragraph 13 (iii) you are now my serf, all your booty, slaves and possessions are technically mine and you have to wear this bright pink choker and refer to me as "most exalted Misstress and sole reason for my existence".

Get on your knees Hrun before the entire population of Legion World and admit you are nothing more than a big cowardly blouse. Your Misstress commands it!

<B stands with her trademarked hands on hips, chin held defiantly in the air waiting for he cowardly cattorturer to respond>

[ August 14, 2004, 02:45 AM: Message edited by: Harbinger ]
 

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Posted by Hrun the Barbarian on :
 
Hrun saunters into the Hall.

"nice music" he says and taps his hands on the side of his shield in time to the beat.

Looking around at the mess he thinks,

"hmmm, kids must have a party whilst I was away, I'll have to speak to them about tyding up afterwards"

Hrun claps his hands and a number of maidens run out to him.

"there is a battle looming for which I must prepare. A great Evil is approaching Legion World which will take great skill to defeat. Come help me bath and arm myself"

The maidens busied themselves stripping the tarnished and bloody armour from Hruns Body. soon he is stood in a bath with water pouring over his well muscled torso. As Hrun recovered the Hall started to rebuild itself even more grandly that before.

"AHem!" said Harbinger who was still waiting for Hrun. "what have you got to say for yourself mr oh so dumb cattorturer, Well?" and Harbingers foot started tapping ever so slightly. "do you think you are being clever? do you?" and the arms folded.

"My lady forgive me i did not see you there" said Hrun from his bath. He stood to step out and Harbinger could see the many battle scars on his fine handsome, and very naked body.

"my" she thought, "I sure his watering hose was not as big as THAT last time" Despite her anger Harbinger felt, well felt anyway.

"You must forgive me my lady, since my last hunting expedition I have received notice of a great danger approaching Legion World. I go now to prepare for it. My slaves will see to your needs"
 

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Posted by Hrun the Barbarian on :
 
A figure approaches the Hall. As he climbs the stairs he notices the carvings of Dragons and Horses still in there familiar places. A small secret smile passes across his lips, it is good to be home.

He reaches the top of the stairs and stops for a moment to look at the large solid oaken double doors. The carvings as fresh as if they had been made yesterday, it was good the magic was still protecting his Halls. Hrun looked at the battle scenes and stories from his peoples past. Then he moved forward, grasping the doors in his huge hands he swings them open.

Inside the Hall a female servant is making up the fire. She turns at the sounds of the door opening and through a haze caused by the lamps sees a tall noble figure walking through. After a few seconds she recognizes Hrun and runs to him.

"Lord, you are safe" she says kneeling.

"Arise Freya, Hrothgars daughter, Your Lord is happy to see you again" Replied Hrun.

"Now, if you please, tell my household i have returned, I need to bath and rest, then we feast. We feast such as has not been seen since the days of my ancestors"

Happy and smiling Freya rose and ran to the kitchens to start the preparations.

Hrun strides to his throne and sits down. A worried frown crosses his face, "now how do I do this"?
 

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Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
 
<A letter arives at Hrun's door. It reads:>

Noble barbarian,

Welcome back to Legion World. Bards and wenches are being sent to your hall to celebrate your return. I'll have my officers join your own for a celebration, while my own entourage prepares to dine in your hall.

I look forward to hearing your tales of conquest.

-Cobaltus
 

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Posted by Hrun the Barbarian on :
 
Hrun returns to his halls after many days of battle.

Slowly stripping off his armour Hrun moves over to the bath room.

His tall well muscled body ripples as he moves into the bath. Clapping his hands 6 maidens appear and slowly start to wash his body, taking time and care to soap his arms and chest and...

Hrun smiles and leans over to take some fruit from a bowl on a gold table next to the bath.

"Scribe" he calls, "Quick I must set forth a letter to the noble Cobaltus"
 

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Posted by Miss RC on :
 
(Her keen audio sensors detect Hrun's return to his Halls. Trains her keen optic sensors on the Halls, penetrating its walls to see the disrobed Hrun.)

Mmmm. That's one delicious piece of organic man-candy. *tee hee*
 

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Posted by Hrun the Barbarian on :
 
Hrun's Battle senses are aroused. Tensing he stands up and, still naked from the bath, slowly runs his hand along the haft of his axe.


Gripping it tightly he waits
 

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Posted by Catspajamas on :
 
(Switching Alts quickly, Miss T. chooses her "pussiest" Alt to tease the pussy-hunting barbarian.)

ROWR!

[ October 14, 2004, 01:53 PM: Message edited by: Catspajamas ]
 

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Posted by Hrun the Barbarian on :
 
Ah ha! tis a wonderful pussy. I will track this one to make me a pouch for my weapon
 

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Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
Hrun, I would have thought you'd given up on that sort of hunt, after that horrendous cat-poop episode.
 

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Posted by Hrun the Barbarian on :
 
Scribe take this message to the Most noble Cobaltus.

Most noble Triumvir

It is with regret that I must leave these Elysian Fields so soon. word has reached me of a major Northman invasion. Parts of the Wall are under attack as we speak. Crops are spoiled, villages burn into the night and many fine men, farmers and freemen of the north lie dead and unburied, there wives and daughters taken as slaves. I have been recalled to the Legion’s Eagles. Me and the men of my household must now fulfil the vows we have taken and march behind the banners of our Jarle and Lord, the Primus Pilus.

Fare thee well most hale fellow. If the gods smile upon me mayhap we shall once more drink together in shakes.


Now hurry Ceorl, deliver that message and join me at the harbours.
 

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Posted by Semi Transparent Fellow on :
 
God speed, noble warrior --- and don't forget to brush your teeth.
 

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Posted by Hrun the Barbarian on :
 
It was the dawn of a new day.

All across the Hall Barbarian warriors lay in various stages of drunken stupor.

At the high table, the detritus of a mammoth feast remained, there were hams, venison, beef and goat, bread and cheeses and fruit. Flagons once full of mead rolled across the floor as the hunting dogs roamed the Hall seeking out the left overs and bones to chew on.

In the rafters above Ravens preened and watched.

Hrun slept in his magnificent carved wooden throne. A gold bejewelled goblet slid from his hands and fell to the rush covered floor. Hrun snored, then hiccupped and scratched his….


At the side of the throne a figure stirred.

Caliente groaned, “My head, that Barbarian is heavy handed or what”.

She tried to move and then realised she was in fact chained, very fine, exquisitely carved and decorated chains but chained all the same, to the throne

“Ah great, it cant get any worse than this, at least Tamper’s not here to laugh” she thought and then she looked down at herself.

“oh No, he didn’t” she exploded. For in place of her normal costume she now wore standard barbarian slave girl attire, which, in her opinion, actually meant she was wearing not enough to cover her dignity. She moves to try to cover her legs where the gauze like material had parted, but found that the chains restricted her movement and in any case the thin strips of metal covering her, well lets just say, other parts, had a tendency to move and expose a bit too much for her liking.

The Gold collar around her neck also served as a power inhibitor as she found when she tried to burn her way out of the chains. .

“great” she thought “stuck here until the LMBP rescue me, and then I'm never going to live this get up down. Tamper Lad will be drooling for days”
 

---

Posted by Caliente on :
 
Humiliation. Kidnapping. Tamper Lad drooling over me. That makes it, what? Wednesday? Thursday? I always forget...

What do you want, you big lug? Why have you taken me here? And no grunting your answers, either! I demand full words!

(*sigh* I hope the rescue comes soon. This is more embarrassing than being coerced into marrying that horrible Ranger fellow...)
 

---

Posted by Lonestar Ranger on :
 
<enters quietly>

(This won't do at all--I've already claimed Caliente for my bride! She has more than enough power to deal with this...)

<fires small device at Caliente's power inhibitor collar, instantly removing all of its power source and rendering it inert>

(There, she can handle it from her with her foolish friends. Now I can return to Frio and Concord and push forth on our goals...)
 

---

Posted by Gary Concord, the Ultra Man on :
 
No, this just won't do at all.

<A wave of magnetic force sweeps across the barbarian encampment. Two rolls of cloth of gold float to Caliente and form themselves into a magnificent dress. Multiple lengths of anchor chain wrap themselves around Hrun and the figure of the Ultra Man floats in next to Caliente.>

Frio would be most distressed if I were to leave you to the tender mercies of Hrun's Horde.

Come, we must be away quickly. 30 tons of chain won't bind Hrun for long.

<A magnetic shimmer crosses in front of Concord and Caliente, they vanish.>
 

---

Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
 
<Rumors among Hrun's people begin to circulate that Hrun the Barbarian accidently killed Cobaltus...a maiden rushes off to bring word to Brunhilde>

<Cobalt's hip-hop robotic sidekick, S.H.A.G., exits the premises after a job well-done...>
 

---

Posted by Lonestar Ranger on :
 
(Well, not exactly what I planned, but it had the same end result. Now to focus on my plans...)
 

---

Posted by Hrun the Barbarian on :
 
Hrun yawns and stretches on his throne moving to scratch the 30 tonnes of chains break and fall ripped as easily as tissue paper.

Looking at the side of his throne he smiles.

“Ha I see they have taken the bait!” he smiles and gestures, from out of a doorway another Caliente appears dressed exactly the same. “I knew that using decoys would come in handy”

Turning to the other side of the Throne Hrun throws back a fur rug to reveal Caliente chained and dressed as princess.

“And thus my lady you must stay,. Until I have had my revenge on that oath breaker and destroyer of maidens hearts”
 

---

Posted by Caliente on :
 
Great. Now no one knows I'm missing. Hrun, I hope you have something to eat besides meat because I'm a vegetarian. Oh well, at least I look good...

(Somebody better realize I'm missing and come rescue me soon! I have to scratch my ear!!)
 

---

Posted by matlock on :
 
I'm here Hrun. What's this all about now? Is your mother in danger? Although I'm not exactly at peak fighting shape, I've got a few tricks left up my sleeve yet.

Oh yeah, how are you Caliente? I'm not sure what's going on around here. But I'm sure it'll all work out. It always does.
 

---

Posted by Lonestar Ranger on :
 
(Enough)

<Walks forward among the Halls>

Hrun, noble Barbarian! Like you, I am a believer in justice, in all of its most raw and harsh forms.

You have chained here someone...dear to me, as she has sworn to be my wife! I cannot have my future wife shackled in your Halls.

<puts up his hand to halt Hrun's rage>

But I can offer you something in return. I know you seek to destroy the oathbreaker, the one who seduced your young cousin and caused her heart pain without mercy, the betrayer, whom you call Cobaltus. I believe I can deliver him to you, and you will be able to have your vengeance. Its a simple plan, and if we can attack him at his current location and then trick him into going somewhere where he can't escape, you'll be able to do whatever you need to do.

And I, <grins>, will have my wife back.

<turns to Matlock, scowling>

And no one will be able to do anything about it.
 

---

Posted by Hrun the Barbarian on :
 
Hrun is interested in thy offer constable. I shall meet thee soon.

However, I must insist that thy beloved stays here, as, surety shall we say, for thy continued honesty.

Tis true she shall be safer here than near us as I feel battle is close.
 

---

Posted by Caliente on :
 
I can take care of myself, you know! (Eugh, beloved. *shudders*) I'm a member of the Security Office! Stupid gorram power inhibitor... *mumbles curses*

You know, you could help me out here, Matt... that'd be juuuust fine with me. The less people that see this humiliation, the better.
 

---

Posted by Lonestar Ranger on :
 
Please Caliente, allow me to help you. I will complete this task in getting Cobalt in Hrun's grasp and you will be freed--and then our wedding will be set

You see, now that we are alone, I can tell you that Frio is very close to choosing a time to meet with you. She is being led astray by Gary Concord and the rest, and once she is alone with ourselves, all will be good. You two will be allied once more, as you should be.

I begin preparations for our wedding, with Frio's presence there assured.

<flies off>
 

---

Posted by Faraway Lad on :
 
"Mmmm, now thats interesting Cali, for all his fine words he still flew off and left you here didnt he? Dont trust him Cali, and dont marry him regardless of your promise"

"Here let me help you" And Faraway knelt and undid the inhibitor collar and removed the chains.

"I think, if you will take an old mans advice, that Hrun was in his own way trying to protect you so dont be too hard on him once you see hin again"

Taking Caliente's hand he lifts her gently to her feet.

"I must go as I have to discuss some, well shall we just say, issues, with my agents in the outer rim" said Faraway turning to leave.

"you know", he said almost as an after thought, "If you want to get even with Hrun, you now have the run of his hall and you could set up all sorts of surprises for him and then be waiting all meek and mild here "chained" to his throne. He would never know it was you"

And with a wink Faraway went Faraway.
 

---

Posted by Caliente on :
 
Hey, what do you mean I'll be freed after Hrun captures Cobie? Hello? He totally just ditched me, didn't he? Jerk. And I have to marry him?! Argh! But it'll be worth it if I can just... save Frio... and that Gary Concord guy, what's his game? I can't trust the Lonestar Ranger but they do seem rather close...

*Faraway Lad helps*

Thank you for helping me... *watches him go Faraway* I wish I could take his advice, I do. But... Frio... I have to save her. *sigh* When did everything get so complicated? I haven't even been able to talk to my poor Actor Lad about it all. What if he thinks... no, it's too horrible.

Oh well, Faraway was right about one thing-- I do have the reign of the Halls. And I'm going to give that barbarian a little bit of well-deserved payback. Oh yes, he won't see this coming... not at all. Finally, a reason to have a smile on my face again!

*sets to work quickly, 'chaining' herself again after she finishes*

Perfect. Now, to wait... and hope no one with more sinister goals happens upon my prone state (even if it isn't, really).
 

---

Posted by Hrun the Barbarian on :
 
Hrun returns and grunts at Caliente.

He turns to raise a goblet and drink when…
 

---

Posted by Caliente on :
 
The tapestry behind him suddenly falls, the ties used to hold it up mysteriously burnt. Hrun trips on the edge, falling to his knees and hitting the table where his goblet had been sitting hard. Angry, he rips the cloth and frowns at his wine soaked clothes.

Cali suppresses a giggle. Just wait until he sits on his throne, she thinks with glee. And goes to draw a royal bath. And sees his once masterful art pieces!
 

---

Posted by Hrun the Barbarian on :
 
Well that wench made a mess and a half of this hall.

I needed to capture 40 new slaves just to clean up the Royal bath room.

good job as a barbarian I never use the place.


Hrun sits on a newly polished throne and takes out a whet stone. Slowly he starts to moce the stone ver the edge of his axe.

"Methinks I have ignored LegionWorld for too long"
 

---

Posted by Stoopid Cat on :
 
<Stoopid Cat leaps out of a tesseract onto the back of Hrun's throne and bats Hrun in the back of his head. Hrun's helmet flies across the room and his axe clatters to the floor. His drink almost spills.>

**PURR**

Welcome back ya big oaf! It's about time you showed up!

**PURR**

Where's the Tuna and Cream?

**PURR**
 

---

Posted by Hrun the Barbarian on :
 
Picking up Stoopid cat and scratching him under the chin Hrun slowly sucks on a bloodied finger and then claps his hands.

From behind a tapestry hanging run two slaves with large bowls filled with cream, tuna and cat nip. Placing them before Stoopid they bow and run back.

“Eat, Drink my friend I fear there is much work to do” and Hrun smiles “and mayhap we may end up a little richer as well”
 

---

Posted by Fat Cramer on :
 
Cats make such good pillaging companions.
 

---

Posted by SharkLad on :
 
Hrun, have you ever been in any towel snapping incidents?
 

---

Posted by Lard Lad on :
 
<uh, I hope you're confident of your odds in "Shark vs. Axe", Sharky! >
 

---

Posted by Hrun the Barbarian on :
 
A scantily glad slave girl arrives in the Halls and sees Lard Lad. Turning to him and smiling she advances sinuously towards him with a sexy smile she reaches toward the Lard Knight.

“My lord Hrun is not here stranger, but he has left orders that all warriors who visit in his absence be royally entertained, what is your desire”
 

---

Posted by SharkLad on :
 
do you have a Wii?
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Hrun the Barbarian:
A scantily glad slave girl arrives in the Halls and sees Lard Lad. Turning to him and smiling she advances sinuously towards him with a sexy smile she reaches toward the Lard Knight.

“My lord Hrun is not here stranger, but he has left orders that all warriors who visit in his absence be royally entertained, what is your desire”

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Hrun the Barbarian:
A scantily glad slave girl arrives in the Halls and sees Lard Lad. Turning to him and smiling she advances sinuously towards him with a sexy smile she reaches toward the Lard Knight.

“My lord Hrun is not here stranger, but he has left orders that all warriors who visit in his absence be royally entertained, what is your desire”

---

I wonder if Hrun realizes that this won't work on several Legion Worlders

---

Well, she does ask what is your desire, so it sounds as if she's open to any and all requests.
 

---

Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
 
I think 'she' looks a lot like Ru Paul
 

---

Posted by Lard Lad on :
 
<checks under slave girl's loin cloth to make sure>

Yep, she's a chick!

Gawd, I haven't gotten laid since I was resurrected! he thinks.

Awright slave girl, let's go have sex--in Hrun's quarters while he's out!

<slave girl giggles and they depart>
 

---

Posted by Cobaltus Primus Augustus on :
 
Bloody Liberty!

That girl had a tail! Did you see? A pointy thing like a demon or something!
 

---

Posted by Lard Lad on :
 
*sighs*

Yeah, she had some great tail, alright!
 

---

Posted by Legatus Ferrous Rodentus on :
 
It is a crime to ogle an imperial slave girl.

Were you not aware of that?
 

---

Posted by Lard Lad on :
 
Man if it's a crime just to ogle, I guess I'm up for the death penalty!
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Legatus Ferrous Rodentus:
It is a crime to ogle an imperial slave girl.

Were you not aware of that?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Legatus Ferrous Rodentus:
It is a crime to ogle an imperial slave girl.

Were you not aware of that?

---

And just what is the definition of "ogle" in this alleged criminal statute of yours? It definitely sounds like a specific intent crime. How will you prove intent?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:
Telepathy is not allowed as evidence in any Legion World Court.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:
I contend that my client merely admired the yooung lady.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Cobaltus Primus Augustus:
Hm, perhaps the young lady is one of those shape-changing potatoes that have recently migrated to Legion World?

That would indeed make Lardy's actions illegal since fornicating with potatoes is a crime.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Legatus Ferrous Rodentus:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:
Telepathy is not allowed as evidence in any Legion World Court.

---

That may have been true in the past, but it is true no longer. The Imperial Court of Legion World has been in force since the inception of the current Crisis. In order to maintain order and provide for the safety of all Legion World citizens, prior judicial procedure has been suspended indefinitely. I, the Legatus of this board, am the sole and swift arbiter of Justice.

And I say the man ogled the subject in question! (Besides, his fingerprints are all over her indelicates.)

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:
I contend that my client merely admired the yooung lady.

---

I take this as a concession that the subject of the ogling is indeed "yooung." "Yooung" ladies are known for their wanton ways, and are thus forbidden from fraternizing with Legion World citizens.

Both Lard Lad and the slave girl must be subjected to the harshest penalty allowed by imperial law!

[slams gavel forcefully]

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Legatus Ferrous Rodentus:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Cobaltus Primus Augustus:
Hm, perhaps the young lady is one of those shape-changing potatoes that have recently migrated to Legion World?

That would indeed make Lardy's actions illegal since fornicating with potatoes is a crime.

---

Even worse! Carnal relations with potatoes is the second-vilest crime of all (the vilest is carnal relations with tomatoes).

And before counsel for Lard Lad should object, I will point out that the "baked potato/sour cream" defense is inapplicable when the object of the fornication is a shape-changing potato!

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.:
As if I'd ever use such a half-baked defense.

---

 

---

Posted by Lard Lad on :
 
(er, have we established she definitely is a shape-changing tater? And if so, isn't there a tater/Taylor exemption to the fornication ban because of the innate similarity?)
 

---

Posted by Legatus Ferrous Rodentus on :
 
Wouldn't the innate similarity more likely suggest some sort of incestuous link? (And how depressing would it be to be incestuously linked with a potato?)
 

---

Posted by Fat Cramer on :
 
One of those Marvel Romance comics from last year had a story about a man having an affair with a potato, and the detective (hired by his wife)fell in love with the potato himself. Or something like that. Anyways, if it exists in comics, it should be legal here. And that includes box socials.
 

---

Posted by Fat Cramer on :
 
Actually, this all seems terribly off topic for Hrun's Hall of Vallhalla. Maybe we should start throwing some axes around and drinking mead.
 

---

Posted by Cobaltus Primus Augustus on :
 
Bring forth the bards for song! And if it displeases FC, then the Bards will be forced to fight the wenches in gladiatorial combat!
 

---

Posted by Fat Cramer on :
 
Wenches 12, Bards 0.
 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Fat Cramer:
Actually, this all seems terribly off topic for Hrun's Hall of Vallhalla. Maybe we should start throwing some axes around and drinking mead.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Fat Cramer:
Wenches 12, Bards 0.

---

Ironically, the humiliation of losing will probably get them to write better poetry!
 

---

Posted by Legatus Ferrous Rodentus on :
 
There's nothing more pathetic than the sight of a bard with a mandolin broken over his head.
 

---

Posted by SharkLad on :
 
what about with a mandolin up his arse?
 

---

Posted by Fat Cramer on :
 
Sarah Palin drops by Hrun's, looking for votes.


 

---

Posted by Quislet, Esq. on :
 
Seat that group next to the Evangelicals.
 

---

Posted by Legatus Ferrous Rodentus on :
 
That is actually a group photo of the Alaska legislature. (The ursine members were catching salmon and unavailable for the photo.)
 

---

Posted by Sir Roy on :
 
Though one can never tell where the majestic Barbarian Lord will be, he often makes his way back here after some fearsome adventure, if for no other reason than to have his legendary bards tell the tale back to him.

Like Rockhopper Lad, he is one of Legion World's Lords I most admire, and it will be a great pleasure to see him again.

Perhaps I can find him here now, when Legion World needs him once again?
 

---

Posted by Zardi, the Eternal Man on :
 
<Zardi is gazing into his scrying pool...>




Oh! it seems the noble knight's quest is about to end badly...

A Pity...
 

---

Posted by Sir Roy on :
 
<still looking throughout the vast hall, Roy feels a sudden anxiety>

Still no luck...tis unfortunate for Legion World that I do not complete my quest, for Cobalt Kid seemed to think Hrun the Barbarian could help Legion World!

But why the sudden ill feelings?

<looks around>

It grows hot in this hall...with a foul stench!

Show thyself, foul creature!

<Roy draws his sword and turns to see an oncoming wyvern, small in size but as dangerous as any beast>

Tis my hope, filthy beast, that the injuries you are about to recieve are not repaid in kind by your master, for I fear you are not in control of thyself!

<leaps over ferocious thrust forward, flipping above him, then turning and stabbing the wyvern in the hindleg from the back>

But I must protect myself! For the LMB! For Legion Woooooorld!

<kicks creature backwards and then comes crashing down with crushing blow of the flat side of the blade upon the creature's skull; it runs off in pain>

It appears I've been followed. And thus, Zardi has made an enemy...
 

---

Posted by Zardi, the Eternal Man on :
 
<Watching Sir Roy in Cloud Castle's Scrying Pool>

Hmm... He automatically believes the Wyvern to be My Creature...

Still he defeated it easily... And there is something about his blade...


Carrie Ann! Attend me!

Carrie Ann, The Vengeance Fairie, appears Promptly.


The warrior you see in the scrying pool is of interest to me...

Have one of your sisters... <Looks closely at Sir Roy for a second> ...or brothers... subvert him to our cause.

[ October 21, 2009, 05:02 PM: Message edited by: Zardi, the Eternal Man ]
 

---

Posted by Hrun the Barbarian on :
 
Slowly the doors to the Hall open, many years of Rust cause them to squeal and howl as if all the banshees of Hell have been let loose upon the Earth.

A shaft of Light lances down into the stygian darkness of the Hall, dust motes swirling as new fresh air enters.

A lone figure stands momentarily silhouetted in the doorway, then strides firmly forward. Clapping his hands imperiously he shouts.

“Slaves, bring your master meat and mead for I hunger after my long journey”


Uploaded with ImageShack.us
 

---

Posted by Power Boy on :
 
By ODIN!!! What a fine room ...

(scratches chin) If ever there was a place for the LOTO After Party ... THIS IS IT!
 

---

Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
 
I've already got a corner picked out where I can fall asleep after drinking my first shot!

Gosh, I'd better work on my alcoholic stamina. I wouldn't want to miss the rest of the victory party.

And for that matter, I'm not certain I'll wake up with my clothes or dignity intact. Especially with Blaze around!
 

---

Posted by Power Boy on :
 
It's been quite some time since EDE sang Hrun a song ...

what kinda fool is that?!
 

---

Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
 
What songs does Hrun like, anyway? I'd imagine he'd still be in a fighting mood while he's drinking!

Hey, maybe Hrun and the Drinking Buddies should get together!
 

---

Posted by Power Boy on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Invisible Brainiac:

Hey, maybe Hrun and the Drinking Buddies should get together!

---

THAT is an excellent idea!
 

---

Posted by Kinetix (Zoe Saugin) on :
 
So, when is this party getting started??




 

---

Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
 
NOW!!

*lights up the place like a disco ball*

Everyone grab a shot of AMF and let's partaaaaaaaaaay!
 

---