Why not grab a pizza or five and sit down in one of the many beanbags conveniently located all over the place. Don't worry about the plates and empty pizza boxes...you can just put 'em under one of the beanbags!
Hey! What's your porn preference? Got twenty screens goin' constantly just ready to load up your porn of choice---man-on-woman, man-on-man, girl-on-girl, man-on-sheep---it's all here, folks! Feel free to, uh, express yourself if you want...no holds barred in the Lair!
Like the thong? Oh, I see...couldn't see it under the overhang, eh? Actually, the inside of the thong has its own tessaract to contain 'Lardy, Jr.' You think the GUT's big...well, heh-heh..
Anyhoo, feel free to wear as little as you feel like. I know what it's like to suffer within the constraints of clothing <sigh>.
Wetbar's over yonder...help yourself. Gotta nuther tessaract fulla more liquor than even the LMB could handle!
Leavin' so soon? Well, come back soon and bring four or five little hotties with ya next time---and live life to its fattest!
[/QB]
[ October 03, 2009, 11:48 PM: Message edited by: Lard Lad ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
Ummm-- Lardy-- is that the Emerald Dildo of Ekron lying on that pizza box?
Posted by LARDLAD on :
Yep! Didn't I mention all the wonderful 'toys' I got around here?
Posted by LARDLAD on :
Oh, I forgot---amidst all those skin pics on the walls, you might notice the one with the two clothed guys eatin' pizza: It's the only known existing picture of me and EDE together! See, we are two separate guys!
Okay...so maybe one of us looks like he's been pasted on. But it's authentic! Honest!
Posted by MLLASH on :
Where did this insane notion that you & EDE are the same poster come from anyway? Someone would have to be a friggin' crackpot with too much time on their hands to think that!
Posted by LARDLAD on :
Yeah...someone WOULD! Posted by MLLASH on :
*tee hee!*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Just droppin' by! Quite frankly, the decor isn't really my cup of tea. We really are very different people, Lardy!
Posted by LARDLAD on :
Shyeah, right! Posted by Faraway Lad on :
Faraway appears, throws two water bombs at Lardy (needed because of his size) and one at EDE who is also there, or is he?????
"off I go again" Posted by LABRADORIAN on :
hi i like your room, i like the pizza and the beanbags. Hope ya can drop by my house/room
Posted by LARDLAD on :
Awright, everybody...time to play, "let's fish out all of Lardy's excess navel lint!"
Um, just kidding...unless it sounds like a good thing, of course....
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Hi Lardy - I just dropped by with this delicious green salad and lo-fat dressing....
MY GOD!!! What are those women doing on that screen??!! Think I'll pull up a bean bag and watch a while - this could be very educational.
Posted by LARDLAD on :
Yeah...educational!
Posted by LARDLAD on :
Hey! Anyone needs help popping their brewskis, feel free to use my navel as a bottle opener!
[ July 19, 2003, 12:02 AM: Message edited by: LARDLAD ]
Posted by LARDLAD on :
Man, it's HOT in here! Gonna have to lose the thong....
Posted by Lightning Lad on :
quote:Originally posted by LARDLAD: Man, it's HOT in here! Gonna have to lose the thong....
Hmm. This isn't becoming our version of that picture is it?
Posted by Lightning Lad on :
quote:Originally posted by Lightning Lad:
quote:Originally posted by LARDLAD: Man, it's HOT in here! Gonna have to lose the thong....
Hmm. This isn't becoming our version of that picture is it?
Nah! This one's much better looking!
Posted by LARDLAD on :
Okay, I'm a little cooled off now...the thong's back on!
[ July 20, 2003, 11:34 PM: Message edited by: LARDLAD ]
Posted by LARDLAD on :
Mmmm...I feel so...yummy!
Posted by Lucifer Lass on :
Hmm... this place needs to be cleaned up.
Posted by HighPriestessViviane on :
quote:Originally posted by LARDLAD: Howdy and welcome to The f****' Lair!
Hey! What's your porn preference? Got twenty screens goin' constantly just ready to load up your porn of choice---man-on-woman, man-on-man, girl-on-girl, man-on-sheep---it's all here, folks! Feel free to, uh, express yourself if you want...no holds barred in the Lair!
Oh My Goddess!
[ October 09, 2004, 03:41 PM: Message edited by: Lady Crujectra ]
Posted by Loser Lad on :
I miss Lardy...
Posted by Faraway Lad on :
Having two kids tend to eat into your posting time Lou. I just hope he gets back on line asap.
mind you i could do without seeing that picture again Posted by Loser Lad on :
I don't know what the picture was, so I guess I'm glad all I'm seeing is the little red X.
Posted by Faraway Lad on :
Be glad Be very, very glad
Given that its Lardy and it involves thongs,
Posted by Loser Lad on :
Now I'm curious. Please tell me this wasn't an actual photo of Lardy in a thong... *shudder*
Posted by Faraway Lad on :
It was
I may have it saved on my own PC (I'm posting from Gigi's) so if you are very naughty I'll post it so there.
Posted by Loser Lad on :
I'll be good. I promise!!!
Posted by Faraway Lad on :
Ah the power!
At last I have found the true source of power on Legion World.
evil maniacal laughter
Bwahahahahahaahahah
Posted by Loser Lad on :
Oy. Darden's gone mad with power!
Hey, isn't there an option in the User Profile to turn graphics off? Can it be that your new found power is so easily defeated?
Posted by Faraway Lad on :
But with this power i shall just send the image directly to the front central lobe of your brain where it shall remain forever, burned into your retina's, you shall be doomed to see the image forever, even when you close your eyes.
Bwahahahahahahaha
Posted by HighPriestessViviane on :
LardLad said the F*** word and didn't get in trouble. WHAT? I said penis and got a talking to.
Posted by Faraway Lad on :
Viv,
If i recall correctly Lardy did get a talking to as well and was asked to tone it down at the time. I 've edited that word out.
[ October 08, 2004, 11:43 PM: Message edited by: Faraway Lad ]
Posted by HighPriestessViviane on :
Now I pity Lardlad, those talking to's can be harsh stuff.
Posted by Faraway Lad on :
nothing like a good stiff talking to from Gary, unless its a tongue lashing from Scott Posted by HighPriestessViviane on :
Can't argue with you there.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Viv, this thread was started back before the rules went into effect over a year ago, so Lardy's original posts were before it the language etiquette here was established.
I miss Lardy too Posted by MLLASH on :
*choke!* I'd give anything to rub his fat little belly just one more time...!
Posted by Fat Cramer on :
Well, his spirit lives on. You just can't keep the Lard Force down.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
I'll always have casual sex in his honor!
*sniff*
It's what he'd want me to do!
Posted by MLLASH on :
Oh, and IMO there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with the word "penis". Penis Penis Penis Penis!!! Almost half of humans have one!
But I don't know in what context you were using the word, so I can't make further comment on the subject.
Posted by HighPriestessViviane on :
Does that mean I can get away with talking about my vagina?
Posted by MLLASH on :
Vagina, vagina, vagina! More than half of humans have one!
I see nothing wrong with talking about vaginas as long as we keep the context clean.
Posted by Miss Tricks on :
It's when penis meets vagina that we must fear the Nightcrawler!
Posted by MLLASH on :
Penises and vaginas are kewl!
Posted by Miss Tricks on :
Two great tastes that taste great together.
Oh, wait. That's chocolate and peanut butter.
Posted by Lady Crujectra on :
Self-moderation is a wonderful thing, dears... Posted by Miss Tricks on :
Yes, pretty mother figure. Posted by Lady Crujectra on :
It's not easy being the adult around here Posted by Miss Tricks on :
At least you do it with a velvet glove and in a pleasing manner.
Posted by MLLASH on :
You what euphanism for a penis I hate? Tallywhacker.
Posted by Abin Quank on :
What-e-whoder?
Never heard that one before...
Personally I hate the "Big Johnson" references, it was originally supposed to be "Big Quank!"
That Johnson guy paid off some ad agency to get his name out there, and now I'm left with a few thousand unsold t-shirts...
Posted by Miss Tricks on :
In the '80s, they called it the Don Johnson. Or maybe that was just the Miami name for it.
Posted by Miss Tricks on :
Lash, isn't "tallywhacker" a song from the Carribean?
Tallywhacker come, Come carry me bananas...
Posted by MLLASH on :
Daylight come and I wanna go home!
Posted by Miss Tricks on :
My mom always refers to it as "the job," and, yet, strangely, I still look forward to one day being "employed."
*tee hee*
Posted by MLLASH on :
You're fired!
Posted by Miss Tricks on :
But I haven't even been "hired" yet!!!
Just some "temping" here and there. Posted by Abin Quank on :
Must resist temptation...
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Posted by Member Wolf on :
Was it something I said? Posted by Lucifer Lass on :
Apparently Annoying Janitor Boy is in no hurry to clean this place.
Oh, well, if it's worth doing, it's worth doing yourself!
<waves hand and pizza boxes, empties, and assorted trash all begin to hover and gather in a swirling vortex. Suddenly they shunt into the tesseract system. A hover-vacuum appears and begins cleaning.>
Now, I believe I'll fix myself a drink, and see what's on the monitors.
Posted by LARDLAD ROBOT on :
<a figure strongly resembling Lard Lad lies on the dusty floor...or at least pieces of it do...>
[ August 23, 2007, 11:45 PM: Message edited by: LARDLAD ROBOT ]
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
{Hyvvie the Wonder Beagle runs into the abandoned building, followed closely by Rockhopper Lad and Time Teller Lad.}
Hyvvie: Here it is! Here's the robot!
RhL: Or at least little bits of him. What is this place?
TTL: It's been abandoned for two years, ten months and seven days.
RhL: I think this is Lardy's old lair. He was away from Legion World for a while when I joined the LMB, but he told me about it. He used to live here.
{Hyvvie moves into the next room}
Hyvvie (sniffs): Hey, guys, here's his head.
{Rockhopper Lad picks up the robot's head.}
RhL: Yeah, I remember him. He was a bit clueless, but a nice enough robot. Poor thing. I wonder when this happened.
TTL: Three months and twenty-two days ago.
RhL: Thanks, Tim. {RhL takes out his Omnicom} Rockhopper Lad to Lard Lad. Lardy, you gotta get here.
[ August 24, 2007, 12:24 AM: Message edited by: Rockhopper Lad ]
Posted by Lard Lad on :
pop
Hey, Rocky! I homed in on your sig...
<looks around>
Hey! My original Lair! I haven't been here since...
<sees remains>
no
<bends down and examines them>
NO!
<holds the head up>
NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
I'll get whoever did this!
Posted by Rockhopper Lad on :
{Rockhopper Lad approaches Lard Lad}
RhL: Lardy, take it easy. We'll find who did this. {turns to Hyvvie} Hyvvie can you smell anything about who might have done this?
{The Wonder Beagle sniffs around}
Hyvvie: It's hard to say. It's been a few months. There's something, but it's very faint.
Lard Lad: No one does this to my robot! {Lardy pops off with the robot's head.} pop
RhL: Let's head back then. Something tells me things are about to get pretty interesting.
Posted by Lard Lad on :
Welcome back to my old Lair--the official campaign HQ of Caliente in her bid to run for LMB Leader!
What have we to offer you while you visit? Well here's my old ad:
quote:Originally posted by Lard Lad: Howdy and welcome to The f**' Lair!
Why not grab a pizza or five and sit down in one of the many beanbags conveniently located all over the place. Don't worry about the plates and empty pizza boxes...you can just put 'em under one of the beanbags!
Hey! What's your porn preference? Got twenty screens goin' constantly just ready to load up your porn of choice---man-on-woman, man-on-man, girl-on-girl, man-on-sheep---it's all here, folks! Feel free to, uh, express yourself if you want...no holds barred in the Lair!
Anyhoo, feel free to wear as little as you feel like. I know what it's like to suffer within the constraints of clothing <sigh>.
Wetbar's over yonder...help yourself. Gotta nuther tessaract fulla more liquor than even the LMB could handle!
Leavin' so soon? Well, come back soon and bring four or five little hotties with ya next time---and live life to its fattest!
We're guaranteed to be the most morally decrepit Election HQ, or your vote back! We'll fight damn hard to keep it that way, too!
And if all this still doesn't satisfy your appetite for excess, consider this:
If you're a dude and have fancied me in the past, but felt I was unattainable (if you get my drift)--well, now I'm open to all the possibilities!
So come one, come all [natch!] and indulge yourself while reading Cali's pamphlet's and hearing her message! Her slogan is:
"Hey--you're not throwing away your vote...second place gets me Deputy!"
Disclaimer: The campaign manager runs his candidate's campaign as he sees fit. His methods are not necessarily approved or condoned by the candidate. No purchase necessary. Void where prohibited.
[ September 06, 2007, 12:49 AM: Message edited by: Lard Lad ]
Posted by Caliente on :
Lardy, some days you make me wish I was single again... others, thankful I'm not.
All right, let's get to the drinking! Anyone fance a game of beer pong..?
Posted by Lard Lad on :
quote:Originally posted by Caliente: Lardy, some days you make me wish I was single again... others, thankful I'm not.
So which is it at this particular moment? Posted by Lard Lad on :
quote:Originally posted by Caliente: All right, let's get to the drinking! Anyone fance a game of beer pong..?
Beer pong?
SWEET ASS SWEET!!! Posted by Lard Lad on :
quote:Originally posted by Lard Lad:
quote:Originally posted by Caliente: All right, let's get to the drinking! Anyone fance a game of beer pong..?
Beer pong?
SWEET ASS SWEET!!!
And that was Post 2500 for me!!!
[Joygasm!]
Posted by Caliente on :
Well that alone deserves another round!
Posted by Lonestar Ranger on :
Listen to me fat man. It annoys me to no end that I must converse with an LMBer of any kind, but this I do because you owe me. Do not think I will ever let you forget what I did for you following the Dark Oval Invasion of Legion World and the United Planets. You’re here with no legal complications because of me.
Caliente must not be leader. You must cease this campaign immediately.
<looks at him with disgust>
Cease your ‘joygasm’ as well.
DO NOT let Cali know I visited you…
Posted by Lard Lad on :
Tonight, we're serving porn bisquits!
What are porn bisquits?
Well...try one and find out!
And don't forget to vote for Cali come election time!
Posted by Lard Lad on :
quote:Originally posted by Lonestar Ranger: Listen to me fat man. It annoys me to no end that I must converse with an LMBer of any kind, but this I do because you owe me. Do not think I will ever let you forget what I did for you following the Dark Oval Invasion of Legion World and the United Planets. You’re here with no legal complications because of me.
Caliente must not be leader. You must cease this campaign immediately.
<looks at him with disgust>
Cease your ‘joygasm’ as well.
DO NOT let Cali know I visited you…
Lonestar, you stinking pile of excrement! You don't know me very well if you think I'll respond to your blackmail!
I owe you NOTHING! The debt has been paid in full with my sponsoring you for residence on Legion World, and don't you forget it! Don't PUSH me!!!
I'll do everything I can to protect Cali from your slimy, rotten fingers! She's too special to be victimized by a loathsome bottom-feeder such a yourself!
Watch yourself!
Posted by Lard Lad on :
Enjoyed the porn biscuits? Excellent!
Now, for your entertainment...check out: "The Best of Lard Lad and His Amazing Chubby!"--a collection of all my best scenes from the vast library of adult videos I starred in!
Enjoy!
--and don't forget to vote for Cali! Posted by Caliente on :
Haha, so glad you tossed in that last bit. I'd be worried if you didn't... Posted by Lard Lad on :
[munching popcorn] What? Oh! There's a clip from the film I did with all those actresses posing as LMB ladies--there's Space Tart, Crujectra, Shady and...uh, Cali?
[his eyes are glued to screen]
Wow! She sure inspired me, huh?
[blushes]
Uh, if Cali, inspires you...make sure you give her your vote!
[rewinds clip]
Posted by Caliente on :
Let's not forget my campaign!
<sees the video on repeat>
Uhh, Lardy..? What's that?
Posted by Lard Lad on :
Uh, just some.....artistic films.
[turns off]
So, Cali...I've gotten a lot of people to pledge their vote for you...
[shows signatures]
..wanna grab a coffee at Cramer's or something?
Posted by Caliente on :
Artistic? Riiiight. Signatures look good, at least.
Sorry, Lardy, I got me a standing date with my hubby. (For as long as I can keep him anyway. Damn you, Space Ranger! *inner-sob*) We'll do lunch or something tomorrow. *pats*
Posted by Lonestar Ranger on :
<watching>
Disgusting. You bumbling fool. At least you may succeed in getting Caliente elected Legion Leader to make it all the easier to destroy the Legion once I make her my wife.
Ha! You may have repaid your debt without even knowing!
<walks off grinning>
Posted by Lard Lad on :
Hm?
<wristwatch beeps>
Ah-ha!
Excuse me, Cali. Enjoy...your date.
<goes to the Lair's computer hub>
After that Lonestar bastard came here last week, I programmed my security system to alert me if he returns and to record everything he says and does...
<searches...>
Looks like he was only here for a moment...let's turn on the sound...
quote:Originally posted by Lonestar Ranger: Disgusting. You bumbling fool. At least you may succeed in getting Caliente elected Legion Leader to make it all the easier to destroy the Legion once I make her my wife.
Ha! You may have repaid your debt without even knowing!
His wife? What the hell's going on?
<thinks>
Crap, Cali'd never fall for that piece of excrement--he's blackmailing her or something! Probably using his connection with Concord and Frio to manipulate her!
She's been so sad since shortly after her marriage...I thought that might have been an opening for me. But it's his doing--I know it!
I'm not exploiting this for my own ends...I'm gonna free her from Lonestar's slimy paws...even if it assures her happiness with Actor Lad.
I love her so much...I do...and I won't let her suffer another moment!
[ September 11, 2007, 12:40 PM: Message edited by: Lard Lad ]
Posted by Spellbinder on :
Hmmmm... I wonder if the Lard Force has some kind of "high speed grief counseling" aspect. It seems like only yesterday that Lard Lard was mourning his wife.
Posted by Lard Lad on :
[OOC: well, if you read "Smoke and Mirrors", Jeckie, it was shown that Lardy buried his grief and moved in some questionable directions. Lardy couldn't deal with Dru's death, so he's not. I think subliminally, Lardy probably is trying to replace Dru with Cali, so the hurt he's trying to bury will completely go away--in his mind, anyway...]
Posted by Spellbinder on :
[OOC: Oh, I know that (I did read SaM)... that was just a Crujectra "in character" comment. She's still very suspicious of Lardy's behavior, and is far from trusting him at this point.]
Posted by Lard Lad on :
[OOC: Thought so! But it was fun to explain Lardy's motivations, anyway! ]
Posted by Gary Concord, the Ultra Man on :
Caliente, we need to talk...
Hmm... She's not here? Maybe the Security Office?
[ September 12, 2007, 12:14 AM: Message edited by: Gary Concord, the Ultra Man ]
Posted by Babette on :
Oooh, man talk, and even the superior women are participating in it. How absurd. I don't belong here.
Posted by Lard Lad on :
<arrives, looks around>
Hmmm...interesting place I had. Doesn't bring back any memories, though.
<finds transponder>
When Gary visited me, he left a special encryption I could use if I ever needed to contact him...
<sends encrypted message>
Alright, Gary, I hope you'll get this and meet me here soon....
Posted by Gary Concord, the Ultra Man on :
Okay, I'm here Lard Lad.
What's on your mind?
Posted by Lard Lad on :
Gary, thanks for responding to my message.
Look, I still don't remember anything, but I've been researching Cobalt Creep to try to understand why I have such an inate negative reaction to my supposed "best friend". Well, I found a lot, especially surrounding that 'Slim' guy who was out to get Cobalt. While I don't condone Slim's methods, I found it odd that no one ever even looked into Cobalt's culpability in that planet's destruction. It seems to me, that at the very least, he's indirectly responsible for what happened there, if not moreso. It seems that no one even has had the guts to even try!
It seems to me this needs looking into...and I had a feeling you might be willing to help somehow.
What do you think?
Posted by Gary Concord, the Ultra Man on :
Hmmm... I have no idea what happened to Slim after the "Five Faces of Death" fiasco but it's a good bet that he hasn't given up on getting his revenge on Cobalt.
You do realize that if we do re-open this and start poking around, everybody, and I do mean Everybody will be against us, including people who would normally be on our side. Nobody is going to want us uncovering what happened on some inconsequential border world.
Posted by Lard Lad on :
Yes, I realize this, Gary. But if I'm involved--Cobalt's best friend (albeit an amnesiac one) and a founding LMBer--it gives us some credibility that you would not have by yourself. And I wouldn't be surprised, based on my research, if more people than you'd think would help us out. Even if they're not anti-Cobalt, per se, there would be a few, I think, who would be interested in seeing justice served. Maybe even the LMB's current leadership?
The bottom line, Gary, is I know what we're up against--and I'm in!
Are you?
Posted by Gary Concord, the Ultra Man on :
There are two conditions you'll have to meet if you want me in.
The fist is; No matter what we discover, I don't care if we find out that Cobalt personally ordered the rape and distruction of Slim's home planet, Cobalt does not get turned over to Slim. Any handing out of "Justice" will be done according to the laws of Legion World and the LMBP.
And the second is... Something Personal... Forget it, I'm in.
But I think we're going to meet far more resistance than you think.
Posted by Lard Lad on :
Agreed, Gary. I'm not interested in that kind of justice. Though, if it comes to it, we may have to involve the U.P.--or some neutral body, perhaps, if there's no one willing to try him in an unbiased manner.
And whatever the condition you dropped was...I hope it doesn't interfere with what we're doing.
Like I said, I'm in it all the way. No matter what.
As for where to start, I was thinking...well, don't you think we have to find Slim to start this and get his testimony?
Posted by Gary Concord, the Ultra Man on :
Finding Slim isn't all that difficult, I hear that "Club Cobalt in Chains" has been rebuilt and is still a popular nightclub in certain social circles. You won't exactly be welcome there and people who aren't welcome there have a habit of becoming dead if they show up there.
And even if we get in and get him to talk freely, I doubt his testimony will be accepted at face value. We'll need additional evidence.
Posted by Lard Lad on :
Well, should he at least be the starting point? Or should we try to get a few others in with us before we start??
Posted by Gary Concord, the Ultra Man on :
Both. Slim is the starting point but going into that lion's den without adequate backup would be suicidal.
You get us some back-up. I'll see what I can do about getting us in to see him.
Posted by Lard Lad on :
Okay, I've got a few people in mind--some outsiders inside, I think. I'm at a bit of a handicap without my memory, but I think I can make do.
Do what you can--I'll do my part.
Posted by Lard Lad on :
<a message appears in the Legion World Classifieds>
Are you dissatisfied with the status quo among the hierarchy of the LMB? Do you think someone who may be culpable for genocide should go free without even getting his day in court? Do you feel like an outsider? Are you Royally ticked off about it?
If so, come to the Lair and meet with like-minded individuals interested in justice--not business as usual!
Posted by Faraway Lad on :
Mr Lard Lad, I wonder if you could spare me a few moments please. If you could contact the leadership secretariat to arrange an appointment that would be most appreciated.
Posted by Sir Roy on :
I am here, Lard Lad. I was at first greatly pleased to hear about your return, though I can see by the look in your eyes that you truly do not recognize me. I can tell you the two of us never had much interaction, though I've become close with your friend Clive.
Your proposition perplexes me and causes me much anxiety. You say you do not remember your past life, and if that is the case, you assuredly will not remember that I too have my own past with Cobalt Kid. In truth, he was one of the handful of Legionnaires I once called my sworn enemies...and one of those I took many steps to destroy. Part of me, I believe, still harbors some ill will towards him, while another part...perhaps feels guilt. More guilt piled on top of an already extraordinary amount.
If I were to join you, I can say that it would not be out of the justice I now dedicate myself, but out of vengeance, which was what my old life was entirely dedicated to.
And that…that is not right. Because I believe you are leading yourself down the wrong path. No matter what ill feelings I have towards Cobalt Kid, I know in my heart he was never a murderer.
I took a pledge to change my ways and pursue justice.
<smiles, thinking of Rockhopper Lad and Hrun the Barbarian>
And that is what I must do now. I cannot join you, because that would be wrong, and I will not let myself succumb to feelings of vengeance any longer.
Good luck, Lard Lad. I hope you can look deep into your soul and be sure you know what you are doing.
Posted by Lard Lad on :
Sir Roy...you are correct in that I don't remember our past affiliation, nor any of my life before a few weeks ago, truthfully. I have absolutely no memory whatsoever...and yet the only reflexive thought I had was that there was something wrong about the man who everyone told me was my best friend--an absolute certainty, actually.
I had weeks to research him while in hospital, and what I found was horrifying! Genocide on a planetary scale perpetrated by one of his own Captains! Cobalt claims no knowledge of what happened, but isn't any commander of a great army ultimately responsible for their actions...particularly one so heinous?
That one instinct I have left from my old life tells me that there needs to be an accounting for the travesty that happened. From what I can tell, Cobalt Kid received not so much as a slap on the wrist for what happened, much less a trial!
I'm not interested in vengeance, good Sir...I just want to see him held accountable by a legal body. That's all!
But I don't believe that can happen thru the current hierarchy of Legion World and the LMB. It is up to myself and a few brave souls to investigate the matter and present it to whatever just authority will listen. We OWE it to those millions and millions of souls who died!
Show the galaxy how much you've changed your ways, Roy...and if at any time you find me to be anything less than honest, you may take my head with your axe!
So...what say you, now?
Posted by Sir Roy on :
I say you are misinformed my friend. The United Planets cleared Cobalt of any wrongdoing, as you know well from your research. It was a rogue Captain, not only acting without Cobalt’s say-so, but against the orders of his second-in-command, Scipio Taltarus. You see, I too researched the matter before I came here.
I’m worried about you.
You see, we did have one meeting shortly before your death, and before my…change. You were chasing me, believing me to be criminal. You were relentless. Enraged. Almost ruthless. There was something wrong with you. I know, because I used to feel it myself, constantly.
It doesn’t exist in you anymore. I’d hate to see it come back into your eyes.
Cobalt Kid is not my friend, and I don’t wish it to be so. The reason I talk to you now is because I worry about my friend, Clive. I worry about what will happen to him if something happens to you when you pursue this. Slim is a maniac, and a villain, and its he that needs to be stopped should he ever return.
If the United Planets will not hold another hearing for Cobalt Kid, and the LMBP has cleared him, what would you propose? Surely anything further would be something that could potentially divide Legion World...into Civil War.
Posted by Lard Lad on :
That's not my desire, Sir Roy...to divide Legion World into Civil War. Yes, he was cleared of wrongdoing, but he never had his day in court. I daresay the United Planets is either afraid of him or too reliant on his Knights Templar for its defense.
I mean, what of Cobalt's actions after the Invasion of Legion World? When he took unsanctioned aggression into Dark Oval territory? One could argue that his aggression spurred their increased hostilities that resulted in the Oval's annexation of Epsilon Sector! What of his (and apparently my own) incursion into the Hrykosian sector of Oval space that started this all?
Who was Cobalt Kid accountable to? Who, my friend watches the watchman?
Don't you see, Sir Roy? He's recently disassociated himself from the Office of Security? Is he truly in search of peace and love?
NO!! He's preparing for his next move...removing all accountability from his actions! Sir Roy, I don't know what it will be, but it's probably the most aggressive move yet!
Someone's got to reign him in before it's too late!!!
Is there no wisdom in this reasoning? You've known despots in your time--hell, you've been one! In hindsight, don't you wish someone had intervened for you before you went over the edge?
Posted by Sir Roy on :
Your thoughts are curious, I admit. I know many LMBers were horrified at Cobalt's relentless pursuit of the Dark Oval forces despite other LMBers and the majority of the UP following his lead. He's always been accountable to UP military high-command, but its safe to say they consider him one of their own.
<thinks on it>
No. I'm too tempted to see evil in him, as I would Fat Cramer or the Emerald Empress when she lived. And I'll never have the chance to do right by the Empress, now that she's gone. But perhaps I can do right by Cobalt Kid.
I think this "feeling" you have, Lard Lad, is leading you to a dangerous place. As much as I wish someone had intervened for me, I daresay it might not have done much good. In the end, I had to find my own path. As does Cobalt...as do you.
I'll give further thought to your words, as I owe you that much. But please give more thought to mine.
I must leave you now, as I'm off to reunite with some friends here on LW.
Good luck, Lard Lad.
<exits>
Posted by Lard Lad on :
<after Roy leaves>
Gods, I thought I had him there! It seems like Roy craves redemption, but fears it at the same time! Maybe he'll reconsider. If not, it's just me and Gary...
What would Cobalt have to do for people to see him the way I do?
Posted by Lard Lad on :
<later that night, Lardy wakes up in a cold sweat>
*gasp*
I...I remember something!
Cobalt Kid...he---he KILLED me!
Posted by Udder Nonsense on :
*down in streets below*
Hey, keep it down up there! Some of us are trying to keep up with the story over a warm glass of milk.
Posted by Lard Lad on :
<gathers himself>
I-I've got to tell someone...maybe my 'son' Clive!
<reaches out with the Lard Force>
There--got 'im!
<'ports over to Security Office>
Posted by Lard Lad on :
<sends message>
Gary. Lard. Meet me at the Lair ASAP. Much to discuss.
Posted by Gary Concord, an Ultra Man on :
You need to be patient Lard Lad.
There are things happening behind the scenes that will shed a new light on Legion World and on Cobalt Kid.
Let things play out...
I'll contact you soon.
Posted by Lard Lad on :
I'll continue to trust you on this, Gary, but we've been stymied at every turn by Cobalt's good ole boy cronies--my patience for bringing him to justice is wearing thin.
This Space Ranger reappearance...it means something! I just don't know whether it's to our advantage...or our disadvantage. And I'm not likin' the uncertainty at all!
Posted by Jailbait Lass on :
<enters, holding flashlight and clutching trenchcoat tightly>
Hm, this place has been closed down for some time. A little dark in here...
<hears noise>
I knew I should have brought back-up. So what do I know about this place? Lardy's original 'location / business' on Legion World when most of the original LMB were creating them. Was destroyed during the Invasion, but since restored. Since then, there were many rumors of back-handed dealings going on down here...Lonestar Ranger for one though he finally did get what was coming to him. (Poor Frio).
And of course, Lardy's continued threats and accusations against Cobalt. But do I really think he tried to kill him? Maybe. But probably not. I could see his shock at my accusations when I was... in a different state of mind...
<flashes light around the Lair>
How did Lardy survive his battle with the Computer Tyrant? I always suspected he was the Tyrant itself in disguise but Cobalt said he didn't think so...Clive was the more likely suspect, which is why he made himself closer to Clive...
<picks up manilla folder thick with information>
What is this?
Posted by LardLad on :
<'ports in>
Halt! Who goes there? Gary is that--
--Lolita? What are you doing here?
Posted by Jailbait Lass on :
<pulls blaster from her holster on pure instinct>
GET BACK!!! I'm not afraid to--
Lardy?
<she goes quiet for a second and then notices she's once more aiming a blaster at Lard Lad>
Oh. That's twice now, I guess.
<puts blaster down>
Three if you count when I aimed it at both you and Cobie. What are you doing here, Lardy? I thought you weren't leaving the Rookery?
Posted by LardLad on :
You set off my proximity alarm, Lolita. I came to investigate...thought you might be someone else, actually.
<eyes folder>
Whatcha got there?
Posted by Jailbait Lass on :
<rueful smile>
You tell me? Either its yours, or someone left it for you--someone like Gary Concord.
I'd like to think its more than just dirt on Cobalt Kid. I was hoping it might have some answers to a question that should have been answered some time ago. Just how in the world did you survive the battle with the Computer Tyrant?
I'll be frank Lard Lad. I've been angry with you for several months now. For what you've been accusing Cobie of, when I know he's innocent and you've been hurting him. But I don't think you tried to kill him. Not willingly at least.
Maybe we can figure out some of these answers together.
<opens up manilla folder>
Tell me, what *do* you remember about when you died? Or more importantly...when you came back?
Posted by LardLad on :
Well, right before I died, I remember reigniting the main fusion powersphere, thinking I was going to die...hollering "Sweet Ass Sweet"...but then, I sensed a window where I could 'port out just in time. But then--Cobalt's voice was in my head--telling me he wasn't going to let me live. Then, the window suddenly closed, and he said he was doing it. Then...his laughter...horrible, maniacal...
<pauses to keep his composure>
Then, suddenly--I was burning--the pain, excruciating for what seemed like forever--then nothing. I was dead.....
....then suddenly, I wasn't. I was there with Clive and I couldn't remember who I was.
I...don't remember anything in between. It's like I was dead and then I wasn't. That's all I've got for ya there, Lolita...
<gestures at folder>
I don't know what that is. Why not open it?
Posted by Jailbait Lass on :
What can it hurt?
But Lardy, before we do, let me say this: Cobie didn't do it. And I think you're maybe starting to see that. He needs you now Lardy...he really needs somebody to be there for him. It could have been mind control, shape-shifting, a whole plethora of those things.
<opens folder, reads through first pages>
This...this isn't what I was expecting at all...
Lardy, why is there a dossier on time/space travel, and why are there notes written for you...from Dr. Mayavale?
Posted by LardLad on :
Mayavale? I've never really been one of his flock, so to speak--barring anything that may've happened during the two years my memory's fuzzy on. Somehow, I don't think that was any different during that period. I dunno, maybe me and him are too much alike in some ways.
Basically, Lolita...I'm mystified. Anything specific in there?
Posted by Jailbait Lass on :
Something about a "Traveler". This is a pretty intense dossier. Do you mind if I analyze this a bit more, Lardy. This is what I do best--its what Cobie always had me do when he was saving everyone.
<glancing through it>
What the heck is a 'Traveler'...something about moving through time and space...what does this have to do with the "Second Shooter"?
<turns to Lardy>
Lardy I have an idea. But before I tell you, I need to know.
Do you honestly think Cobalt killed you still? Can you give him the benefit of the doubt?
Posted by LardLad on :
I...am more inclined to believe him than I was before, but--<grimaces>--it ain't easy, hon...it feels just as real to me as you and me talking.
But him calling out to me after he'd been shot--it got to me. I just don't see how he would go that far to deceive me. I've always loved him like a brother...
...I, yes...I can give him the benefit of the doubt.
Posted by Jailbait Lass on :
Okay then.
I'm going to study this dossier some more and see what clues we can develop. But in the meantime, I might have a way for you to shed some light on what happened to you.
But it involves going to Cobie at Medicus Two. Which will be highly dangerous, as I'm sure you can imagine.
But once we see him...there might be a way. You see, you might not remember this but Cobie has been in bad shape before. During the Invasion. And when that happened, you gave him a part of yourself. You two are connected--all these last few months, you probably felt something, and in fact probably hated it, but you two have an odd connection. Minds, souls, something. Maybe through that connection, some more of your memory can be restored.
And maybe through that connection you can learn who shot Cobalt Kid.
Posted by LardLad on :
I...sensed that earlier. A part of myself inside him, but I couldn't access it without...without taking it out of him.
<looks at her>
Lolita...what if I take it and...doing so kills him. Can I take that risk?
Posted by Jailbait Lass on :
<thinks for a moment. Lardy can see she's suddenly visibly scared as if she didn't consider that>
I...I don't know. I...Lardy, since then Clive has been killed, Roy has been brutally attacked and someone else was found brutally assaulted--a John Doe because the assault makes it impossible to identify him.
Cobie would want us to try it. He'd want us to do what we can to stop this.
I...<hands shaking a little>
We must do it.
I've never said this out loud, even though I'm sure a lot of people know it. I love him Lardy. I'm worried about him. Even if he doesn't love me back... Posted by LardLad on :
<hugs her>
It's never been a secret to me, hon. I know you love him...honestly, I don't understand what he sees in that stuck-up Princess of his--
--well, yeah, she's smokin' hot--but otherwise, she's just got this superiority complex.
And where the fuck IS she while her man's fighting for his goddamn life!
Maybe if he wakes up, he'll, well, wake up!
Look, end of rant...if you're sure, I'll do it. Are you sure?
Posted by Jailbait Lass on :
<thinks about it one more time>
I'm sure. Lets go...and maybe we'll figure this out once and for all. In the meantime, I'll keep analyzing this dossier the best I can, and see what all these references to space/time and "The Traveler" are about.
<shakes head, confused> See, even here, there is a reference to "now he has a genuinely is Liberty". I'm not sure what thats referring to.
Lardy, we'll have to move through the streets of Legion World to get to Medicus Two. Just try to stay non-descript...I'm sure you have clothes all over your lair--find them and put on what you think will work best. I know you can 'port, but even though its impossible to track, they'll be looking for that.
Once we reach a certain point, I know a way into Stoopid Cat's old Terrasact technology that will lead us right into a secret entrance at Medicus Two. These entrances are all over Legion World, even if Cobie is the only one who knows about or uses them anymore.
Let's go...
(hard to think I had a blaster pulled on you just a few days ago)...
<prepares to exit to the streets of Legion World...then turns and hugs him back>
Thanks, by the way
Posted by LardLad on :
<stops her before she leaves with a gentle touch on the shoulder>
No, Lolita...I've gotta do this my way. I 'ported to Medicus Two and visited Des without incident before...I'll do it again.
I'm a lot sneakier and more deliberate than people think I am. Hiding in alleys and using tessaract systems ain't my style, though.
Go do what you do--I'm sure you'll get to the bottom of all this.
Good luck...and it was nice to have a civil conversation with you!
<tucks manilla folder away and prepares to run out the door>
quote:Originally posted by SharkLad: <bursts into Lardy's lair through an underground spring>
Lolita, you still here? There's something we need to talk about ...
Sharky, gotta run! Follow me if you can and we'll talk on the way! Gotta hit the streets of Legion World to get to Medicus Two...
Posted by Lard Lad Prime on :
Little tired from my resurrection and all...need some rest.
<looks around>
Appears people have been here recently, probably including the imposter. I'll deal with him soon enough...
<lies down>
Posted by LardLad on :
[oops]
Posted by Lard Lad Prime on :
<wakes up with a start, disoriented>
What?! Where?!?! The Lair? But it...and Legion World are long gone...destroyed by--
<rubs eyes>
Oh...just a bad dream...I guess...
<stands up, stretches>
Enough of this dawdling! I must be off at once to clear my name of that imposter's blight!
<flies off>
Posted by LardLad on :
<sits behind desk examining scroll found at the Orrery for the upteenth time and awaiting Cobalt's arrival for their meeting>
<to himself> This is gonna be big...
<feels the weight of the mantle of LMB Leader more than ever>
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
<flies in at top speed, in an unusually foul mood>
Time to get to work...
<sees the various administrative staff for Lard Lad>
I'm here to see Lard Lad--he's expecting me.
<considers again how he's just hurt the person who cares most about him in the entire galaxy>
Whatever it is Lardy, anything to distract me would be good...
Posted by LardLad on :
Des! <smiles> Good to see you, buddy!
<smile fades as he senses his friend's dark mood>
<decides it's not the time to push him about what's causing his mood even though he suspects it's about Lolita>
Des...I found this scroll in the ruins of Phineas' Orrery. <gives it to him> It explains my resurrection and also sheds light on the depth of the conspiracy behind what just happened.
Yes, Des...there's a conspiracy involved...and you're not gonna like it.
Read it first...
<watches Cobalt's eyes intently as they go over the words>
Posted by LardLad on :
<Cobalt finishes reading but just stares at the scroll>
So you know what this means, right? Your Uncle Romaltus was in league with the Dark Oval all along! It's apparent that he betrayed Zerox and worked as their agent to help pull off the downfall of Epsilon Sector.
<looks at Cobalt fiercely>
And I'd betcha anything he knew what was going to happen to Dru and helped make it happen!
We've been in a standoff with them since Epsilon Sector, Des. Now that I'm LMB Leader and have this evidence in front of me, I'm no longer content to do nothing about it!
Do you have any suggestions, Des?
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
<stares off distantly>
For some time now, the Dark Oval and the Khanate of Sol Invictus have been circling us, growing in strength. The Dark Oval has been involved in every major attack on Legion World, the LMB and the UP in general since the Invasion over two years ago.
So yes, something needs to be done.
But what? We can't launch a full scale invasion of the Dark Oval. I tried that, remember? I had the UP backing too, and was given full control of the UP military.
Do you perhaps mean a small cadre of LMBers infiltrate the Dark Oval and take out our enemies? Its something we can consider. As Security Chief, I'd like to bring in Space Ranger in an effort to keep matters open between us; but in truth, that far exceeds our authority as the Office of Security on Legion World. But as an LMBer and a friend, I'd be glad to help.
<smiles coyly>
I know you are aware I have intergalactic operatives in all of our enemy's territories. And I conduct secret operations there. As former Triumvir--now co-leader of the Space Knights Templar, as Chief of Security, as even a private citizen, this something I've been doing. But I have no intention of standing before any tribunal and explaining my actions.
<looks at Lardy>
But you're right...something must be done. I hardly ever knew Romaltus...yet he proved to be a true Ggrrggian in the end, after seeming so different for so long. We need to do something about Harold Ryan Wyandotte. If what we suspect is true--that has been behind numerous attacks on us, including the '52', then we can't let him attack us again.
We'd want to bring in Kent Shakespeare too. As head of the Bureau of External Affairs he may have some contacts that could help us.
<mind drifts back to Jailbait Lass and he forces it away>
I took several territories from the Dark Oval once before and they remain free to this day. That at least gives me a reason to go there and bring several of us with me.
Posted by LardLad on :
I, of course, know you have resources and activities few on Legion World can even begin to comprehend. But there's some things you probably don't know...
<narrows eyes>
After Dru died, I spent my off-time at the Dark Oval. I...got in really good with Kalla Hrykos, and she allowed me some transparency in exchange for helping protect her interests. I only recently recovered thos memories, and there's a lot I did I'm not proud of...but I know a lot about the inner workings of the Oval, now.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Kalla Hrykos...Lardy, she's a lunatic.
<puts a hand on his shoulder>
I understand you were going through an extraordinary difficult time, and you've come a long way "back" to where you are now. So I won't hold it against you. I'll just be glad of whatever you've learned of the D.O., and hope Kalla doesn't intend on keeping a long-term alliance with the LMB.
I would think perhaps the first order of business would be to compile a report of the Dark Oval for our fellow LMBPers at large. Including who the current players are, and some of the events we've witnessed to get them there. Then you could see who perhaps might have some different methods for our "Cold War" with them right now.
Posted by LardLad on :
There's so much weird shit going on there! For instance, there's this ice planet, and it's right where the old nuked-out Black Sun planet used to be--but it's definitely NOT the Black Sun planet! There's a big secret regarding it that Kalla hasn't been made privy to, and I swear there's something eerily familiar about it! Anyhow, that's where Rocky's evil double Evil Emperor Pyngwyn is holing up.....
...and there's something else, something I haven't told anyone about, not even Rocky yet. I saw Adelie, Des--Rockhopper Lass! Rocky tells me she's been missing from Legion World for over a year. But I saw her...and some others. They all seemed so familiar! But I couldn't place them...except I could swear one of them was Jada Konti, but only from her posture and demeanor.
I think Adelie's gotten together with some of the people she fought with during the 52 Crisis, and they're out to secretly gather intel on the D.O.!
Posted by LardLad on :
Yay! Welcome to The Lair and EDE's debaucherous bachelor party celebrating his secret wedding!
Come one, come all! There's naked people and booze everywhere, and we're gonna make EDE open up about his secret wife!
PAR-TAY!!! Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
<in corner, already boozing with naked people>
At last! A reason for me to have been doing this!
Posted by Space Ranger on :
Cobalt... Lard Lad... I'd like to thank both of you for the invitation...
Is... is that a tray of Foot Long Chili/Cheese Bratwurst Specials and a case of Michelob over there?
I believe that I'm off duty...
Truth and Justice shall Prevail! (It's been a while since I could... unwind)
Posted by LardLad on :
(Omigawd! Do I get to see that board-up-his-butt Space Ranger get all drunk and debaucherous? *crosses fingers*)
Welcome, Ranger--WELCOME!!! Consider that food and Michelob all yours. Here...another case in case that ain't enough!
Posted by Space Ranger on :
Thank You Lard L... Lardy... I... Well it's been quite a while since I "let my hair down."
Truth and Justice shall Prevail! (because of things like this! )
Posted by LardLad on :
(hmmm...seems he's in a mood to loosen up...wonder if there are any hot chicks around who might be willing to give him the time of day.....)
<looks around>
Posted by Hot Chick on :
{wanders in looking a little lost and, strangely, over-dressed}
Oh! This is a little...much. Oh well, might as well try to, what do they say, "mingle"?
Posted by Space Ranger on :
Ahhh... there you are... <chug> like I said earlier... There are a few questions I need to ask you... <chug>
Sorry, would you like a drink?
Do you have a name?
Are you cold?
Can I get you anything else?
Truth and Justice shall Prevail! (Nobody said this was official business...)
Posted by Hot Chick on :
{timidly sits across from him}
{looks at the beverage offered in a confused manner}
Er...no thanks. It smells kind of... bad. May I try some of those edibles you are dining on? And no, I am not uncomfortable...this is how my people always dress.
As for my name, where I come from, we don't have names. We just communicate telepathically. It's...complicated. If you would like, you can call me "Hot Chick". I'm not sure what those words mean, but several males on this world have referred to me by that.
May I ask who you are?
Posted by Space Ranger on :
My Name Is Bartholomew Quank but most people call me Space Ranger. I'm the Legion World Security Chief.
But right now I'm off duty and when I'm off duty my friends call me Bart.
Truth and Justice shall Prevail! (maybe later you can call me Big Daddy...)
Posted by Hot Chick on :
Oh my! {her breasts twitch apparently involuntarily} Your thoughts are a bit...forward. What exactly is a "Big Daddy"?
Posted by Space Ranger on :
What!... Mmmm... You did say you were telepathic didn't you?
I guess I'll have to watch what I think around you.
Big Daddy is a... Bedroom Name... for somone who is... larger... than you might have expected...
Truth and Justice shall Prevail! (Censored)
Posted by Hot Chick on :
Oh. You don't have to be so cautious. Sexuality is valued very highly where I come from. It is the ultimate means of expression in my culture. It is customary, for example, to press each other's bare breasts against each other as a greeting.
I am {looks around} slightly surprised. I was told that your...society...was much more prudish than mine. This gathering would seem to refute that assessment.
Posted by Space Ranger on :
This group doesn't repesent the supposed societal norms of the UP. But Legion World and the LMBP are... different.
And while I would never allow my niece to attend one of these parties until she's older... much older... there comes a time when everybody needs to relax and have a good time.
(Pulls off his tunic)
Truth and Justice shall Prevail! (Formal Greeting Time, Yee Haw!)
Posted by Hot Chick on :
{removes her top, presses her chest against his}
Oh! {grasps tighter, he feels her breasts twitch} You have known great pain in your life...I am so sorry. {disengages, replaces her top}
Do you...wish to talk about her?
Posted by Space Ranger on :
It won't bring her back...
(Puts his tunic back on and hauls the second case of Michelob up onto the table...)
Nothing will...
(Downs a foot long Chili/Cheese Brat and chases it with 2 beers)
Truth and Justice shall Prevail! (Sometimes the pain reminds me that I'm alive...)
Posted by Hot Chick on :
I am sorry. I failed to mention that my breats are the source of my telepathy. The closer the contact with them, the deeper the telepathic connection.
{reaches for his hand and grasps it}
I hope I have not offended you, Bartholomew.
Posted by Space Ranger on :
No offense... It's just... We both died... but that guy over there... <Points at Cobalt who is half buried under a writhing pile of nekkid women> Played a wild hunch and it paid off...
I was saved... Revived... Brought back from the dead... Whatever.
There was nobody to do that for her... Not that there wasn't anybody willing to do it... Cobalt, Vee, Abin, Semi, hell even Icy or Lardy and a hundred other LMBPers would march into hell and spit in the devils eye if there was any chance of bringing her back, and they'd be led by three teenage girls...
(Downs another beer)
But there isn't any chance...
Truth and Justice shall Prevail! (So I'm gonna get very drunk tonite and pray that EDE never feels the way I do)
Posted by Hot Chick on :
{wipes a tear from her eye}
Sometimes, life is unfair, Bartholomew.
{rises, sits close to him as he drinks and rests her head on his shoulder}
{thinks} I wonder if this could be the one I was sent back in time to marry? Posted by LardLad on :
<witnessing the whole scene from afar>
Whoa! Way to go, Bart! He just might get laid tonight!
Posted by He Who Wanders on :
Hey, I thought this party was about Eryk, not Bart getting laid!
Where's the guest of honor?
Posted by LardLad on :
He's a no-show, so far. He needs to get his nelly-hat ass over here!
Posted by He Who Wanders on :
In that case, I'll just help myself to some beer and pizza.
Posted by cleome on :
Note to self: Never again base an at-home drinking game on the number of times one sees the words "breasts" in an LMB thread.
hee hee hee (HIC!)
PINK TELLUSES!! Lookit' 'em flyyyyyy!!
[thud] Posted by LardLad on :
Hey! Somebody get Clee home safely, post haste!
Posted by Kent Shakespeare on :
Shoor. I'lllll drive herr. Wish yeller line shoood I keep right off?
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
No need to worry about people getting home safely! Since my return to the Security Office, I've hired several Venturian Walking Money as low-level security officers, and they specialize in getting people home safely. The best part? You never have to pay for space-cab fare.
<finds bottle of some blue liquid>
Gross! Dominator liquor! Ah, what the hell...
<guzzles it, skin turns blue momentarily>
Posted by LardLad on :
<wakes>
uhhh...what a party. Don't think Eryk ever showed up...
<looks around at unconscious guests>
Oh my god!
<sees Gladys the Sentient Disco Ball entwined in naked, unconscious postcoital bliss with another very familiar partygoer>
<The partygoer awakes, fails to see Lardy and slips out>
Gladys has slept with--! Lord, should I keep this a secret?!?!?
Posted by Lard Lad on :
<having consumed a special mushroom obtained from Doctor Mayavale, Lardy lies in his bed dreaming a peculia dream...>
Yes! Mayavale's mushroom...it unlocks my past lives! So many.....
<Lardy sees himself battling the JSMB...then ruthlessly hunting Native Americans...manning the guillotine during the French Revolution...and on and on...>
Gods! Was I evil in every one of my past lives? <His sleeping self sheds hot tears and coils into the fetal position> No...no. I must go further...
<life after life flashes by him, but he wills himself not to look>
Must find the life I'm looking for...the first one...the one where I knew Ghost Girl...and...and Zardi...
<finally, after what seemed billions and billions of lives, Lardy stops>
<his sleeping body shakes as if he'd had a dream about falling, but he stays awake>
<a rush of happiness falls over him>
My...first life? I...I am with a woman, and I am very happy. We...we're in love! And I...I am GOOD!
<warm tears of joy this time>
I love her so much! Is...is this Ghost Girl in her former life?
<he's not positive of the answer, but it feels right, at least>
This man...he's like...he's like my brother. I...I'm not sure if it's my actual brother or a bond that FEELS like brotherhood. I don't know who it is...he seems familiar...
<his thoughts turn to Cobalt and their own brotherly relationship>
No, I don't think it's him. Eryk? No, that doesn't feel exactly right either...
<recalls his altercation from the previous day>
Zardi? Is this man Zardi?
<before he can contemplate and focus his perception of the man, the scene changes>
<his love lies...unconscious? dead? And the man stands over her, possibly having put her in this state>
<the two struggle until the other mutters a curse, and Lardy can physically feel his soul darkening>
<suddenly, the other lives fast-forward thru time and Lardy can feel his soul getting darker and darker thru each one until suddenly....>
<...he wakes>
NOOOOOOO!!!!!
<eyes open wide, Lardy finds himself drenched in sweat and breathing hard as if he'd just completed a marathon run>
*huff* Oh my gods---was that how it all really happened...or was it a really vivid and detailed hallucination? *huff*
<Lardy rubs his temples and contemplates it all>
[ October 04, 2009, 12:24 AM: Message edited by: Lard Lad ]
Posted by Zardi, the Eternal Man on :
<A gnome, peers intently from a crack in the stone wall. In her hand is a small fragment of mushroom snatched from the floor while Lardy was hallucinating/dreaming/whatever.>
The Master will be very interested in this...
Posted by Lard Lad on :
<recovering>
Unh. I don't think that was all an hallucination. Some details may have been off, but I'm positive that was a life I've lived, and it's relevant somehow to what's goin' on. I've a feeling I know what I need to do...
...but first, I need to talk to Rocky.
<'ports to the Rookery>
Posted by Lardi the Incorruptible on :
<appears>
I cannot find Myla, anywhere!
<looks around>
This place is...filthy, but at least it is not a place of death as that bunker was.
<lies down>
I require rest. I will sleep for a short time before redoubling my efforts to find her.
I will find you, my love...
<goes to sleep>
Posted by Lardi on :
<'ports in>
<looks in mirror>
Damn, Lardi, you really did a number on my looks!
My apologies, Lard Lad. I overstepped my bounds.
Naw, it's okay. Never hurts to have a more clean-cut look every once in a while. Wonder if Rocky likes it?
I am unsure. He has....avoided me since the transfer.
Yeah, I think maybe I should wait 'til you're completely gone to re-establish things with him.
Perhaps it might be for the best. I appreciate your letting me use your body these past months. It has been...illuminating.
Did you ever find her?
You refer to Myla...the one your LMB knows as Ghost Girl. No, I am afraid not. She disappeared around the same time that Zardi withdrew his aggressions.
I'm sorry, pal. You gonna be okay going back to...wherever it is you went...soon?
Yes, friend. My time is past. This is your time.
You're a good man, Lardi. Let's get some rest, shall we?
<lies down and goes to sleep>
Posted by Hrun the Barbarian on :
Lardi's dreams are restless. In his head he hears the methodical beat of a deep deep drum.
In his dreams He sees flames, hears the wailing of women.
Boom Boom Boom
Posted by Chief Lardy on :
<walks in>
Damn, haven't been here in a while...my last two homes were the Rookery and the Security Office. Now...I belong in neither. *sigh*
<looks around>
Place is an absolute mess! Don't know whether I should bother to clean it up or not...with my leaving for the Dark Oval very soon.
Aw...can't hurt!
<gets out his duster and lots of cleaning solution>
I'll have to call Temp after I get this place in decent shape...
<gets to work>
Posted by Exo-Lardy on :
<hours later>
Hm. Semi-livable, now.
<sends Temp a dinner invite via Omnicom>
Hope she accepts!
Posted by Exo-Lardy on :
<sets table, lights candles>
Dunno if she got the message, but I'm ready if she has!
Posted by Tempest on :
(Walks in, dressed in a loose, pink gown that gathers down the middle, it ends just behind her knees, has long sleeves with decent shoulder pads, all accented with some purple pumps, her hair is out and a wild.)
Anthony? I got your message. Sorry if I kept you, I was busy with some odds and ends.
The place looks wonderful.
Posted by Exo-Lardy on :
Temp! You look amazing! I'm so glad you could make it....
<pulls chair out for her>
I wasn't sure what you like, so I pretty much made a little of everything...salad, pasta, soup...I hope you see something you like? <emphasizes 'something' a little suggestively in a playful way>
I'm celebrating my unemployment! I have some wine if you'd like? I'm just having some club soda. Recovering alcoholic and what-not.
Posted by Tempest on :
(sits down in the chair)
Thank you.
I've actually had my quota I think on alcohol. Water would be nice. The food looks great.
I'm glad to see you taking your situation with a grain of salt. I thought it would bother you more.
Posted by Exo-Lardy on :
<pours her some fresh spring water and sits> I...pretty much turned myself in, Temp. I screwed things up pretty badly as Chief. My heart was in the right place, I thought, but my issues always tend to bend things backwards, somehow.
Besides, with the Dark Oval mission looming, I needed to free myself up, anyway. <sips his soda and regards her> Have I told you how beautiful you are?
Posted by Tempest on :
(She doesn't blush, she merely grins.)
You know, I thought you asked me here because you need to talk to someone. I have this feeling you have ulterior motives. Perhaps we should just skip the meal and get right down to it?
Posted by Exo-Lardy on :
<grins widely> Temp, you are my kind of lady! <takes her hand and kisses it>
Posted by Tempest on :
You wouldn't be upset if I was using you, would you? The week has been a bit rough for me, I could use the relief.
Posted by Exo-Lardy on :
Upset...moi? <touches her face> Not at all... <kisses her hungrily>
Posted by Tempest on :
(She flicks her hand and the candles go out.)
Posted by Hrun the Barbarian on :
As the darkness descends a shadowy figure moves from the drapes. Looking towards the direction of the dining room, he passes silently into Lardys comm’s room.
“He deserves some happiness before he leaves on this mission, would that I could grant him this boon. Alas even this night must have a bitter memory for him I must leave this. He must come soon or she will be lost to him again, and this time forever.
A small Oval box is placed on the Omnicom where Lardy will see it. Next to the box a small card is placed. The card has a simple message “Come quick, you are our last hope”
The figure turns and leaves as unnoticed as he arrived.
In the next room Lardy stops kissing Tempest, “Whoa, wait a moment, did you hear that” he says.
“Hush Anthony, there’s nothing there, your hearing things. Now come back here”
As Exo Lard turns back to Tempest he is still unnerved by the sounds he heard.
In his head he hears it again,
It is the sound of War drums, of women screaming, the sounds of flames hungrily licking up the walls of buildings, It is the sound of war and death.
He shivers “And so it begins” he thinks.
Posted by rickshaw1 on :
The unknown figure eases through the shadows and sidles up to .... THREAD HIJACKER!
Posted by Exo-Lardy on :
<wakes up with a start>
Whuh?
<realizes Tempest is still there asleep>
<thinks> Still here? Would've bet that she'd be gone when I woke up. Said it herself: she was "using me". I guess I just wore her out! Hmm...coulda sworn I heard something last night, around the second...or third time? <looks around lazily but doesn't see the box> Mm. May as well enjoy her company while it lasts. I really, REALLY like her, but I don't think I'm in her heart...
<puts his arms around her, spoons and drifts off>
Posted by Dev Em on :
Dev had left the Office and decided to talk to Lardy. He was feeling bad about how things had been left between them, and hoped to maybe set a few things straight.
Dev landed outside the Lair, and knocked on the door.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
<Unplanned, Cobalt Kid also arrives at this time, wearing his trenchcoat and gloves to hide his colorful costume>
Ah. Bad timing.
Hello, Chief.
Posted by Exo-Lardy on :
<knocking wakes him up>
Hunh? Whassat? Oh...door.
<slides out of bed, puts on robe, closes door to bedroom>
Gotta get that before it wakes Temp up...
<opens door>
Oh...Dev...er, uh, how are, uh, you? Um, hey, Des...
Yikes! Posted by Dev Em on :
"Hey LArdy. Sorry to wake you but...oh," sees the uneaten dinner still on the table, "sorry, I didn't know you had company."
Posted by Exo-Lardy on :
Er, yeah...have a, um, ladyfriend over, y'know, um...not, er, the best time...
Posted by Dev Em on :
"Hey, I understand."
Catches a glimpse of some shoes on the floor near the table. (shoes that he had seen when looking around her room the other day)
"I...ummm should probably...just leave..."
Dev turns, and stops.
"She's still here..." he asks as he turns his head back to look at Lardy, "...that would be why she didn't answer my call earlier."
Posted by Exo-Lardy on :
er, uh, what do you, uh, mean, Dev?
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Wow, this is awkward.
<walks right past Lardy into his Lair, right past the bedroom door where Tempest lies within, and to the dinner>
Hm. Cold, but still looks great.
<grabs a piece of beef and fills up his cup with wine.>
Proceed gentlemen. I'll wait here. This reminds me of the old LMB too much not to enjoy.
Posted by Tempest on :
(Hears Dev's voice)
Crap. I could just teleport and get away...
(She gets her clothes on...except her shoes, which she notices outside.)
Damn it...so expensive.
(Walks out.)
...Hi.
Posted by Exo-Lardy on :
...um, er, you all know Tempest?
Posted by Dev Em on :
Dev just stares at all of them, and is amazed at the fact that there are now four of them here.
"I just..." is all he can say.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
<refills glass>
Hello, Tempest. Good to see you looking so vibrant!
<begins filling plate with various dishes>
Posted by Tempest on :
(turns to see Cobalt Kid and just rolls her eyes. She walks to the table and grabs her shoes.)
Great, an audience.
Dev...I feel like I owe you an explanation. I guess. Just give me a moment.
...make something up for being an idiot...Mother Martha my legs hurt. Posted by Dev Em on :
Dev looks at Tempest.
"I don't understand...but we're all adults here...mostly," he says as he looks at Cobie with the last word.
Posted by Exo-Lardy on :
We, uh, were having a friendly dinner... <motions toward where Cobalt is helping himself> ...then one thing lead to another... <thinks> and then another and another... Posted by Dev Em on :
"Don't give me that Lardy. The dinner hadn't been touched..."
Dev turns back to Tempest.
"I don't need an explanation Tempest. I think this says pretty much everything I need to know."
Posted by Tempest on :
Dev, I really don't know how to talk to you about this...in front of others.
I just needed something...
(Looks at how Cobalt Kid is eating.)
Carnal.
Yeah. Look, I know what we talked about. But every man in the room scares the crap out of me. For one reason or another I am not what I need to be when I am around any of you.
(puts on her shoes)
It's time I moved out of the Security Office.
Posted by Exo-Lardy on :
Look, don't go, Temp.
<looks at Cobie and Dev>
She's my guest, guys...she shouldn't be made uncomfortable. Maybe I can talk to you two some other time? <motions toward door>
Posted by Dev Em on :
"Don't move out because of this. This has no bearing on what we need you here at Legion World, or the Office of Security for."
"We can talk later if you really want to...right now I think I just need some time alone."
He turns and walks out. He stops outside the door and looks up into the sky, and then back to them.
"I was going to...grife..."
Posted by Tempest on :
You know, there was a time that I could play people like a fiddle and not give a crap. But what I did here today...
(She looks at Cobalt Kid, her heart races.)
Ohh...
This is horrible, I feel so sick.
Posted by Dev Em on :
"I'll be around."
Dev takes a few running steps and takes off. They see him loop around and then he is gone. Seconds later they hear a sonic boom miles away and thousands of feet in the air.
Posted by Exo-Lardy on :
<watches Dev leave, walks to Tempest and puts his arm around her> It's okay, Temp--you were straight with me, and I jumped right on board. We're adults, here.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
<finishes glass of wine>
I'll let you two get things sorted out and come back. Besides, I forgot you don't have any booze handy, Lardy--imagine my delight at the wine.
<smiles at Tempest>
Don't feel embarrassed for my sakes. I'd have come sooner if I knew what I was walking into.
<back to Lardy>
Really great job on the pasta.
<exits>
Posted by Tempest on :
I really made a mess of things. I didn't mean to lead him on. Really I didn't.
Posted by Exo-Lardy on :
<shrugs and grins behind Cobie> That was real wine, you butt! I had it here in case...oh, nevermind.
<turns to Tempest> I guess Dev really likes you, huh? Well, I like you, too, you know. Last night...I wasn't really trying to get you in bed...
Posted by Tempest on :
No, I was trying to get you into bed. You didn't stand a chance.
Sorry, that made you sound weak. I just sort of have a reputation.
You friend, Cobalt, I don't rem---I mean, he's a bit of an ass. I heard he was charming, but---kind of infuriating.
Posted by Exo-Lardy on :
Yeah, he infuriates me sometimes, too. <smiles>
You're right, though. I couldn't resist your charms. I...well, it's been a while. It was a really great night, though! Man, that one thing you did... <just remembering makes him smile>
Posted by Tempest on :
Oh yeah, there was this one old guy that wanted that all the time, it was worth it in the---
I'm not used to feeling sexual. I mean, I have been there, gone that far before. But, I don't lust after anyone. So why you?
Posted by Exo-Lardy on :
<ignores 'old guy' reference> Well...I am an LMB sex symbol... <grins>
Seriously, have you ever considered that maybe you like me and are attracted to me? That's why most people want to have sex, you know?
Posted by Tempest on :
No.
The only real relationships that I have ever had. The ones that you develop overtime and earn each others' love, never happened for me. They were just dreams.
I've never actually cared for anyone or been attracted to someone, not they way you're thinking of.
Posted by Exo-Lardy on :
Well, what do you feel for me? <goes up to her and puts his hands around her waist> You're implying that you feel something for me. Tell me.
Let me start. I really like you. You...feel like someone who could stand up to anyone. Strong. When we first met, I tried to intimidate you. Just walked right up to you naked. You didn't flinch. I...think I fell for you a little right then and there.
What about you?
Posted by Tempest on :
I feel---
I feel---
Safe. Comforted when you touch me. Strong because in some ways, you can't deny me. I'm here and your fine with that, I feel like you would always be fine with that.
Posted by Exo-Lardy on :
See? That's not so abnormal... <embraces her tenderly>
Posted by Tempest on :
(She takes a moment to enjoy it. The she pushes him off.)
No. I told Dev that I am in no place for a relationship. Physical was fine, but this. No.
No emotional crap.
I can't do this right now.
Posted by Exo-Lardy on :
It's okay, Temp...I think I understand. I've been there. Someone hurt you, didn't they? I mean really hurt you? <thinks about what Mordra did to him>
Posted by Tempest on :
(She looks at him, then begins to laugh hysterically.)
I wish.
Ohhh...
That was really sweet.
(She runs her fingers through her messy hair until it is half way decent.)
I have been denied. I want something, I need it. Hurt? Me being hurt is relative and inconsequential.
I know hurt and that nothing to do with this.
Do me a favor, don't change, you are way too cute.
(She heads to the door.)
I need to do some damage control. Thanks for last night.
(leaves)
Posted by Exo-Lardy on :
<stares out the door for a long moment>
Well, Lardy, you made yourself look like an idiot...
<scratches his head>
Damn...I think I'm...in love.
Posted by Exo-Lardy on :
<later>
So, Lardy... <looks in the mirror as he shaves> ...how pathetic are we going to be today?
<gets the neck area>
If you go crawling to her on your hands and kness, she'll lose what little respect she has for you...
<cuts himself>
Ow! Hm. Flowers, maybe? It's a fairly traditional "day after" gesture, kind of a "thanks for the sex!" thing.
<trims moustache area>
But you want more than just sex (though that was absolutely HOT!!!), dontcha, Lardy? You want her to feel something for you. Problem is, she doesn't want to...but she does, doesn't she? She's "invested" in you...feels "safe" with you. You know she enjoyed it for a moment when you embraced her. She had to force herself away from you.
<shaves cheeks>
I think she's in denial, Lardy. But denial ain't an easy river to cross, is it? What should you do? Pretend it's meaningless for you, too, and just offer her more sex and hope she comes around? (Admittedly, that would be fun...) Give her the brush-off? Ignore her entirely and wait for her to come to you?
Or... <thinks of Temp's reaction to Kalla> ...make her jealous! Yeah, that's it Lardy! <cleans off face and pulls out Little Black Book>
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