posted
Hey, four days with no posts after a silly choir joke is pretty respectable!
-------------------- The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."
From: The Pyngwyn Colonies of Planet Hyustyn | Registered: Aug 2005
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-------------------- Five billion years from now the Sun will go nova and obliterate the Earth. Don't sweat the small stuff!
From: Boston | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
Really? There's a lot to be said for silly choir jokes.
Tenor makes a silly choir joke. Bass laughs at silly choir joke. Soprano complains that Tenor and Bass are being childish. Alto pretends she doesn't know the others.
-------------------- The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."
From: The Pyngwyn Colonies of Planet Hyustyn | Registered: Aug 2005
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-------------------- Five billion years from now the Sun will go nova and obliterate the Earth. Don't sweat the small stuff!
From: Boston | Registered: Aug 2003
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How many tenors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Click Here For A SpoilerJust one. He holds his hand on the bulb and the world revolves around him.
How can you tell when a bass is at the door?
Click Here For A SpoilerHe can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in.
-------------------- The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."
From: The Pyngwyn Colonies of Planet Hyustyn | Registered: Aug 2005
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cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
posted
I admire a man who starts singing for his supper before lunchtime even rolls around...
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008
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Of course they don't give me supper. Just a wafer and a sip of wine.
-------------------- The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."
From: The Pyngwyn Colonies of Planet Hyustyn | Registered: Aug 2005
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posted
Judy Tenuta did a bit in one of her songs where in the middle, she goes "Catholic Aerobic! Stand up! Sit down! Kneel down! Eat something! And burn in Hell!"
-------------------- Five billion years from now the Sun will go nova and obliterate the Earth. Don't sweat the small stuff!
From: Boston | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
One of the Episcopal churches in Houston had bumper stickers made up that said "Exercise religiously: Sit, stand, kneel".
-------------------- The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."
From: The Pyngwyn Colonies of Planet Hyustyn | Registered: Aug 2005
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cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
posted
Oy. This reminds me of how confused I got from a joke in the original 101 Dalmations book as a little kid:
There was a scene in which the dogs 'n pups sneak into a church one night to keep warm. They've previously rolled in soot to disguise themselves from the foes chasing them. They each settle down for the night on one of the hassocks in the church. This leads to somebody coming in the next day, long after the dogs have departed, and wondering if something went wrong with the furnace during the night, because each hassock now has a single soot patch on it.
Why did this confuse me? I was raised Jewish. We don't kneel during services. Sit, stand, bow heads, rock back and forth, yeah. But no kneeling, so no hassocks in synagogue.
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008
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posted
You know, I've never heard a kneeler referred to as a hassock. I believe the word is used as such (and a Web search shows it is), but usually in both the Roman Catholic Church and the Anglican (Episcopal) Churches, they're called "kneelers".
Kneelers are pretty much only found in Roman Catholic and Anglican churches, as well as some Lutheran and Methodist churches. It's less common now than it used to be.
In non-liturgical Christian churches, kneelers are unheard of.
-------------------- The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."
From: The Pyngwyn Colonies of Planet Hyustyn | Registered: Aug 2005
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cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
posted
Luckily, the buddy who lent me the book had herself grown up in England. Otherwise, I woulda' been even more confused. (There were no pictures in the book of the dogs-in-church scene, so I was imagining ottoman-type hassocks and scratching my head.) I think she was from a long line of Episcopalians, but I'm not sure...
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008
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posted
That's very interesting. We always called those cushions.
Of course "Episcopalian" may as well be a language. We say weird things like "The verger took the amice from the vesting sacristy and gave it to the rector in the apse."
-------------------- The only character in all of literature who has been described as "badnass" while using the phrase "vile miscreant."
From: The Pyngwyn Colonies of Planet Hyustyn | Registered: Aug 2005
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posted
Scene: a wartime RAF station) Jones: Morning, Squadron Leader.
Idle: What-ho, Squiffy.
Jones: How was it?
Idle: Top-hole. Bally Jerry, pranged his kite right in the how's-your-father; hairy blighter, dicky-birded, feathered back on his sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harpers and caught his can in the Bertie.
Jones: Er, I'm afraid I don't quite follow you, Squadron Leader.
Idle: It's perfectly ordinary banter, Squiffy. Bally Jerry, pranged his kite right in the how's-your-father; hairy blighter, dicky-birded, feathered back on his sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harpers and caught his can in the Bertie.
Jones: No, I'm just not understanding banter at all well today. Give us it slower.
Idle: Banter's not the same if you say it slower, Squiffy.
Jones: Hold on then -- Wingco! -- just bend an ear to the Squadron Leader's banter for a sec, would you?
Chapman: Can do.
Jones: Jolly good. Fire away.
Idle: Bally Jerry... pranged his kite right in the how's-your-father...hairy blighter...dicky-birded...feathered back on his sammy...took a waspy...flipped over on his Betty Harpers ...and caught his can in the Bertie.
Chapman: No, I don't understand that banter at all.
Idle: Something up with my banter, chaps?
GRAMS: AIR RAID SIRENS
(Enter Palin, out of breath)
Palin: Bunch of monkeys on the ceiling, sir! Grab your egg-and-fours and let's get the bacon delivered!
Chapman (to Idle): Do you understand that?
Idle: No -- I didn't get a word of it.
Chapman: Sorry, old man, we don't understand your banter.
Palin: You know -- bally tenpenny ones dropping in the custard!
(no reaction)
Palin: Um -- Charlie choppers chucking a handful!
Chapman: No no -- sorry.
Jones: Say it slower, old chap.
Palin: Slower banter, sir?
Chapman: Ra-ther.
Palin: Um -- sausage squad up the blue end?
Idle: No, still don't get it.
Palin: Um -- cabbage crates coming over the briny?
The others: No, no.
(Film of air-raid)
Idle (voice-over): But by then it was too late. The first cabbage crates hit London on July the 7th. That was just the beginning.
(Chapman seen sitting at desk, on telephone)
Chapman: Five shillings a dozen? That's ordinary cabbages, is it? And what about the bombs?... Good Lord, they are expensive.
-------------------- Five billion years from now the Sun will go nova and obliterate the Earth. Don't sweat the small stuff!
From: Boston | Registered: Aug 2003
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cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008
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