posted
Scribe take this message to the Most noble Cobaltus.
Most noble Triumvir
It is with regret that I must leave these Elysian Fields so soon. word has reached me of a major Northman invasion. Parts of the Wall are under attack as we speak. Crops are spoiled, villages burn into the night and many fine men, farmers and freemen of the north lie dead and unburied, there wives and daughters taken as slaves. I have been recalled to the Legion’s Eagles. Me and the men of my household must now fulfil the vows we have taken and march behind the banners of our Jarle and Lord, the Primus Pilus.
Fare thee well most hale fellow. If the gods smile upon me mayhap we shall once more drink together in shakes.
Now hurry Ceorl, deliver that message and join me at the harbours.
-------------------- Bring me Mead and Meat, NOW Slave!!
From: The Northern Wall | Registered: Jul 2004
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All across the Hall Barbarian warriors lay in various stages of drunken stupor.
At the high table, the detritus of a mammoth feast remained, there were hams, venison, beef and goat, bread and cheeses and fruit. Flagons once full of mead rolled across the floor as the hunting dogs roamed the Hall seeking out the left overs and bones to chew on.
In the rafters above Ravens preened and watched.
Hrun slept in his magnificent carved wooden throne. A gold bejewelled goblet slid from his hands and fell to the rush covered floor. Hrun snored, then hiccupped and scratched his….
At the side of the throne a figure stirred.
Caliente groaned, “My head, that Barbarian is heavy handed or what”.
She tried to move and then realised she was in fact chained, very fine, exquisitely carved and decorated chains but chained all the same, to the throne
“Ah great, it cant get any worse than this, at least Tamper’s not here to laugh” she thought and then she looked down at herself.
“oh No, he didn’t” she exploded. For in place of her normal costume she now wore standard barbarian slave girl attire, which, in her opinion, actually meant she was wearing not enough to cover her dignity. She moves to try to cover her legs where the gauze like material had parted, but found that the chains restricted her movement and in any case the thin strips of metal covering her, well lets just say, other parts, had a tendency to move and expose a bit too much for her liking.
The Gold collar around her neck also served as a power inhibitor as she found when she tried to burn her way out of the chains. .
“great” she thought “stuck here until the LMBP rescue me, and then I'm never going to live this get up down. Tamper Lad will be drooling for days”
-------------------- Bring me Mead and Meat, NOW Slave!!
From: The Northern Wall | Registered: Jul 2004
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<A wave of magnetic force sweeps across the barbarian encampment. Two rolls of cloth of gold float to Caliente and form themselves into a magnificent dress. Multiple lengths of anchor chain wrap themselves around Hrun and the figure of the Ultra Man floats in next to Caliente.>
Frio would be most distressed if I were to leave you to the tender mercies of Hrun's Horde.
Come, we must be away quickly. 30 tons of chain won't bind Hrun for long.
<A magnetic shimmer crosses in front of Concord and Caliente, they vanish.>
-------------------- Truth and Justice shall Prevail! (Just as soon as the Check Clears!)
From: The Back Office in Abin's Fixit Shop. | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
<Rumors among Hrun's people begin to circulate that Hrun the Barbarian accidently killed Cobaltus...a maiden rushes off to bring word to Brunhilde>
<Cobalt's hip-hop robotic sidekick, S.H.A.G., exits the premises after a job well-done...>
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Hrun yawns and stretches on his throne moving to scratch the 30 tonnes of chains break and fall ripped as easily as tissue paper.
Looking at the side of his throne he smiles.
“Ha I see they have taken the bait!” he smiles and gestures, from out of a doorway another Caliente appears dressed exactly the same. “I knew that using decoys would come in handy”
Turning to the other side of the Throne Hrun throws back a fur rug to reveal Caliente chained and dressed as princess.
“And thus my lady you must stay,. Until I have had my revenge on that oath breaker and destroyer of maidens hearts”
-------------------- Bring me Mead and Meat, NOW Slave!!
From: The Northern Wall | Registered: Jul 2004
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posted
Great. Now no one knows I'm missing. Hrun, I hope you have something to eat besides meat because I'm a vegetarian. Oh well, at least I look good...
(Somebody better realize I'm missing and come rescue me soon! I have to scratch my ear!!)
-------------------- Abin: You know what to do with a Cali sandwich? No but neither do Cobie and CJ! CJ: Yeah, we do. She's smiling, isn't she?
Context... who needs it?
From: Sunny Cali-- er, Planet Earth? | Registered: Jun 2005
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posted
I'm here Hrun. What's this all about now? Is your mother in danger? Although I'm not exactly at peak fighting shape, I've got a few tricks left up my sleeve yet.
Oh yeah, how are you Caliente? I'm not sure what's going on around here. But I'm sure it'll all work out. It always does.
From: Douglasville, GA | Registered: Jul 2003
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Hrun, noble Barbarian! Like you, I am a believer in justice, in all of its most raw and harsh forms.
You have chained here someone...dear to me, as she has sworn to be my wife! I cannot have my future wife shackled in your Halls.
<puts up his hand to halt Hrun's rage>
But I can offer you something in return. I know you seek to destroy the oathbreaker, the one who seduced your young cousin and caused her heart pain without mercy, the betrayer, whom you call Cobaltus. I believe I can deliver him to you, and you will be able to have your vengeance. Its a simple plan, and if we can attack him at his current location and then trick him into going somewhere where he can't escape, you'll be able to do whatever you need to do.
And I, <grins>, will have my wife back.
<turns to Matlock, scowling>
And no one will be able to do anything about it.
-------------------- Justice comes at a price. What are you willing to pay for it?
From: dead | Registered: Aug 2003
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![[sigh]](graemlins/sigh.gif)
Oh well, at least I look good...
