posted
somehow I don't think whips will be a problem ... maybe Lash wouldn't mind lending out a few ...
-------------------- Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water...
From: The waters off eastern Long Island | Registered: Jul 2003
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-------------------- Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water...
From: The waters off eastern Long Island | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
I nominate Shark Lad as new head of Security seeing as Cobalt Kid has resigned.
-------------------- Five billion years from now the Sun will go nova and obliterate the Earth. Don't sweat the small stuff!
From: Boston | Registered: Aug 2003
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quote:Originally posted by Quislet, Esq.: I nominate Shark Lad as new head of Security seeing as Cobalt Kid has resigned.
Actually, Mr. Quislet, Cobaltus hasn't been "head of security" for quite some time, having conferred the position to co-chiefs Abin Quank and Matlock. So his resignation changes very little.
So as co-deputy of the LMB, I ask the co-chiefs to consider issuing an injunction on the Lard Lad algorithm's posting. I have circumstantial evidence that when it reaches its 4000th post, some sort of cataclysm, possibly an unimaginably apocolyptic one, may be unleashed. The algorithm has been inane posting prodigiously since the events of 01/11/08, presumably to hasten this milestone.
Please institute this injunction as a precaution and open an investigation into the events of 01/11/08 and its relation to his achievement of this milestone.
Also, Cobalt Kid apparently has information on 01/11/08 that he is withholding from you and LMB leadership that could be vital to all of this. I suggest that you issue a warrant for his arrest for the purpose of questioning him. Now that he has cut ties with this Office, this should not be a conflict of interest.
We must be proactive about this matter!
Registered: Oct 2003
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posted
Ha. The Office of Security can't just arrest people, robot. (You're still a robot to me). I learned that the hard way time and time again.
The Office of Security can't stop someone from posting either. This isn't a concentration camp, this is Legion World.
You better get your facts strait, boy. The Office of Security will be little help in the days ahead. And you better trust me--the days ahead will be dark ones indeed...
<opens up new whiskey bottle>
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
*anvil with telegram attached pops out of mid-air and very nearly lands on Cobalt's foot*
Telegram reads:
WISH PRIOR MESSAGE RECEIPT CONFIRMED STOP IF SO REPLY THROUGH SAME CHANNEL AS ORIGINAL MESSAGE COMMA AT EARLIEST CONVENIENCE STOP DUPLICATE CHARACTER NOTED STOP REBOOT FULL STOP
-------------------- My views are my own and do not reflect those of everyone else... and I wouldn't have it any other way.
quote:Originally posted by Cobalt Kid: Ha. The Office of Security can't just arrest people, robot. (You're still a robot to me). I learned that the hard way time and time again.
The Office of Security can't stop someone from posting either. This isn't a concentration camp, this is Legion World.
You better get your facts strait, boy. The Office of Security will be little help in the days ahead. And you better trust me--the days ahead will be dark ones indeed...
<opens up new whiskey bottle>
<ahem> May I hear from a real Security Chief on the matter now?
Registered: Oct 2003
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posted
Clive, you're not thinking strait. Ever since Babette broke your heart, you haven't been able to consider everything you've seen around here.
You can't afford to overreact. You need to act firmly and the right way.
Consider your options. Let this office run wild, moving from one new chief to the next, becoming a branch of the LMB leadership that could one day be used as a weapon against the people of Legion World? Or let this office come to its logical conclusion, bringing an end to it and helping move the transition to the next phase of the LMB and Legion World.
Are you an advocate for change Clive? You, who has tranformed as a robot duplicate to a human being? Or are you an advocate for the status quo? For business as usual?
Because if its the latter--you truly still are a robot.
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Mr. Cobaltus, I am simply an advocate for averting what may possibly be the apocalypse! All I propose is that we investigate the Lard Lad algorithm and find out whether it poses a threat. An injunction on its posting seems fairly reasonable given the possible alternative.
The facts are this: I was warned that the algorithm's reaching its 3500th post boded ill. Sure enough, when it reached 3500 on 01/11/08, all existence on Legion World apparently winked out for a day, taking with it all record of what happened.
Shortly afterward, another portent warned of post 4000. If reality was endangered on 01/11/08 after post 3500, then what awaits us with post 4000?
I don't want to have you arrested, but you've asserted you have information on what truly happened on 01/11/08 but have refused to share what you claim to know. And, coincedentally or not, you have suddenly cut your ties with the LMB and the Security Office and started a counter-culture!
I implore you...you were my father's best friend. If you know anything that can help us avert a cataclysm to the only true home my father ever had, then share what you know with us.
Is that too unreasonable...or robotic...of a request to make?
Registered: Oct 2003
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posted
Know that everything I ever do is for the good of Legion World. On that, you'll have to trust me.
But the medicine cannot be worse than the disease. I struggled with that for many years, Clive, and its a burden I'm sorry to see you now contend with.
There's a room in this office I've kept secret from all of you. Space Ranger knew of it as well. Matlock, the greatest detective in existence, uncovered it. Everyday Girl was given the information by her uncle Space Ranger. But they do not know the full extent of the room. The day is coming when that room will open. And on *that* day...you'll have some answers.
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Ohmygod! The only "secret room" Uncle Spacey told me about is the High Eschalon Liquor Cabinet, and Gram made it impossible for me to go in there until I'm 21.
Unless you're like talking about... Ohmygod! That is what you're like talking about.
'Scuse me, I gotta like go now...
-------------------- Hi! How are you? <click-click> BLAM!! BLAM!! BLAM!! BLAM!! BLAM!!
From: Here? | Registered: Oct 2003
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posted
Is that the secret room full of flying lemurs of space?
-------------------- Five billion years from now the Sun will go nova and obliterate the Earth. Don't sweat the small stuff!
From: Boston | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
So, Mr. Cobaltus...reading between the lines, you apparently have reason to believe that post 4000 poses no threat. If you would share that reasoning with the LMB administration, it would be most appreciated.
Registered: Oct 2003
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I assume your former life as a robot taught you more about them than I know. So tell me, what would this mean: well-defined instructions for completing a task, when given an initial state, will proceed through a well-defined series of successive states, eventually terminating in an end-state.
The Lardlad algorithm isn't the apocolypse, Clive. Its the countdown. And it keeps counting down every 500 posts. The only way to stop it--is to well...no, you're not ready to learn yet.
Come with me Clive, and I can show you secrets you never dreamed up. The algorithm must be reset every 500 posts, or its the end of everyone on this message board--and all message boards.
<cue dramatic music>
Are you willing to take that first step toward our salvation. You know where I'll be...
<exits>
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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