posted
"We have been travelling through the galaxy now for three million years and there are many things we've discovered. The highest form of life in the universe is Man and the lowest is a man who works for the post office."
Holly muses on Life
-------------------- My views are my own and do not reflect those of everyone else... and I wouldn't have it any other way.
posted
"I've no idea who you are, but boarding this vessel is an act of war. Ergo, we surrender. And as prisoners of war I invoke the All Nations Agreement article number 39436175880932/B." "39436175880932/B. "All nations attending the conference are only allocated one parking space". Is that entirely relevant, sir? I mean, here we are in mortal danger, and you're worried about the Chinese delegates bringing two cars? "Can't you let just one go? I was talking about the right of P-O-W's to non-violent constraint." "But that's 39436175880932/C, sir."
Rimmer knoweth not of what he speaketh
-------------------- My views are my own and do not reflect those of everyone else... and I wouldn't have it any other way.
posted
"There is no need for alarm, sir. If there were any dangerous viral strains in the atmosphere, the Psi-scan would have picked them up by now. Hmmm, it's never done that before... Blasted stupid cheap damn stupid Martian power packs." "So what's the news?" "Well, if I could just beg your indulgence for a few seconds more, sir, the old 345 takes a little time to warm up. (He gives it another shake.) Still, it out-performs the 346 in 8 out of 9 bench tests. A small wonder, then, that it secured "Psi-scan of the Year, Best Budget Model" three years running. Now here are the results. And we're going to ... live." "*Sigh* We're a real Mickey Mouse operation aren't we?" "Mickey Mouse? We ain't even Betty Boop!"
From: The Mainframe | Registered: Jul 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
"Species: unknown. Similar to Earth haddock. Cause of death: _suffocation_." "What?!" "(Over the radio) What is it?" "This fish _suffocated_ in water. It voluntarily closed its own gills." "Are you saying that this haddock committed suicide?! "I'm merely stating the known facts. This fish relinquished its life of its own free will. Damned fool!" "Why would a haddock kill itself? Why am I even asking that question?"
-------------------- My views are my own and do not reflect those of everyone else... and I wouldn't have it any other way.
posted
"Look, maybe we can reason with it. Open communication channels, Lister. Broadcast on all known frequencies, and in all known languages, including Welsh... This is acting senior officer Arnold J Rimmer of the Jupiter Mining Corporation transport vehicle Star Bug. Now hear this, 'cos it's only coming once: We surrender, totally and without condition. Thank you for listening. Oh, additional: sorry to take up your valuable time. Sorry. Thank you. Sorry. Bye. Bye. Sorry. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you." "Rimmer, you've got a longer yellow streak than a stampede of diuretic camels."
-------------------- My views are my own and do not reflect those of everyone else... and I wouldn't have it any other way.
posted
PR: Yes, yes, I think so too. All right then, well take this down. Eh, "From His Royal Highness, the Prince of Wales to Miss Amy Hardwood. Tally-ho my fine saucy young trollop! Your luck's in! Trip along here with all your cash, and some naughty night attire, and you'll be staring at my bedroom ceiling from now till Christmas, you lucky tart! Yours with the deepest respect etc, signed George. PS Woof woof!" Well, what do you think?
E: It's very *moving* sir. Would you mind if I change just one tiny aspect of it?
PR: Which one?
E: The words.
PR: Oh yes, I'll, I'll, I'll leave the details to you Blackadder. Just make sure she knows I'm all man... with a bit of animal thrown in. Rrrrgh!
E: Certainly sir. (Scores out the Prince's letter)
[...]
E: From his Royal Highness the Prince of Wales to Miss Amy Hardwood:- "The upturned tilt of you tiny wee nosy, smells as sweet as a great big posy." Fanciful stuff of course madam, but, but from the heart.
-------------------- My views are my own and do not reflect those of everyone else... and I wouldn't have it any other way.
posted
LISTER: There are only three alternatives. It thinks we're either a threat, food, or a mate. It's gonna either kill us, eat us, or hump us. We can either persuade it that we are not that sort of oceanic salvage vessel or we scarper pronto. CAT: To be diddled by a giant squid on the first date? Think how we'd feel in the morning!
-------------------- My views are my own and do not reflect those of everyone else... and I wouldn't have it any other way.
posted
And LL has pulled away with a commanding lead -- no question who the biggest post whore is 'round these here parts!
From: New York, NY | Registered: Jul 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
I'm approaching the big 500... whoo hoo, I think this isd my third attempt at crossing that boundary!
From: home sweet home... unless i'm posting from work | Registered: Jul 2003
| IP: Logged |
Hyperpath: Email this page to someone!
Printer-friendly view of this topic | Subscribe To Topic
![[Lightning Lad]](graemlins/LightningLad.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
