posted
"... a great question, Abin! Allow me to demonstrate. Your mop-bucket, please."
Abin shrugged but, humoring him, wheeled the bucket to the front of the room. Lardi grinned at his comrades for just a moment, then unceremoniously upended it.
"You see? It was always just... soapy water!"
He handed the bucket back to the astounded Abin...
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Registered: Feb 2008
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posted
...covered their ears and waited for the impending explosion. It never happened.
After a moment, when the heroes realized they were safe, a befuddled Abin Quank asked, "But how did you know it was safe to drink from, Lardi?"
Lard Lad's eyes twinkled brightly as he exclaimed, "Now, that is...
Registered: Dec 2006
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cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
posted
"...but it's a pity that none of you fools will survive to know the truth! Farewell!"
With that, Zardi dove into bucket, which emitted a shower of bright green sparks as he vanished.
Kent pushed Lardi out of the way and yelled, "Everyone! Get down!" The entire team...
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008
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cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
posted
(Because with all the traffic right now, somebody'd better jump in. Respect my rapidly waning but still-in-force-for-now authori-TAY, People!)
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008
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posted
"... is really my son," Zardi said, bowing his head as he felt a warm tear beginning to form.
Every eye turned to the person he had just named, as much in astonishment as disbelief. "Th... that can't be true... you're... my father?"
Zardi steeled himself. "Bah! It makes no difference, now. Son or not, you'll always be one of them... and by 'always' I mean..." he reached into his jacket and rolled the device into the center of the room, "...for the next ten seconds! The mighty LMB, always so certain they're on the side of right...
-------------------- See Here for the latest update on the 2013 Chicago Gathering (now including tentative attendance list)
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posted
...and at long last, the agonizing battle with Zardi began to reach its conclusion!
Exhausted from that disgusting yet effective display by Lash Lad, Zardi tried one last ditch effort: he emptied the forty tons of rotten fruit, used sex toys and elephant feces onto Legion World--but luckily Cobalt Kid magnetically funnelled it into the Legion World "trash to cheap vodka" machine. Unlucky, however, were two specific LMBers, as a small portion of rotten fruit, used sex toys and elephant feces...
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
posted
"...only to suffocate in a tanker full of nonpareils?!" Fat Cramer sighed as the torrent of brightly-hued, starchy bits of sugar continued to roll down the chute. "I never thought it would end like this!"
"Oh, calm down!" MLLASH shrugged at the deadly tide that was already up to his shins. "So long as my powers still work..." He reached into his breast pocket and removed his magic Indigo Crayola. "Everyone! Think hopeful thoughts, damnit!"
In seconds, he'd drawn a large doorway onto the cold metal wall. As the increasingly-panicked LMBers saw this, they gasped.
Blue energy crackled, and the sketch of the doorway suddenly became a real door! Lash braced his hands against its handle and yelled, "Everyone! Push! No not there, Cobie! Save it for when we get home!"
Within a matter of moments, everyone was free of the cursed tanker...
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008
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posted
...as the heroes continued down the enormous corridor.
"I'm feeling a little peckish, guys." Lard Lad soon declared, rubbing his belly.
"Here! This door says cafeteria!", observed Rocky as he pointed to a door that said cafeteria.
With a great sense of relief, the team walked through the door only to hear a loud metallic clang as it slammed shut behind them. Startled, they looked around and discovered themselves in a dimly lit tanker. Their attention was quickly drawn upwards as a panel overhead slid open and confectioners' sugar began raining down on them.
"A SUGAR TRAP!", they shouted in unison.
"Oh, no! We've come this far...
Registered: Dec 2006
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cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
posted
...but, "You call that a 'super-weapon?" she said, adjusting her glasses. "It barely even tickled."
Zardi was, for the moment, speechless.
"Mary! You're all right?" Naked Mole Rat Lad had braved several more rounds of mystic canon fire and tunneled under the elaborate tile floor to reach the pretty librarian's side.
"Of course. You shouldn't worry so much. Why, since getting my Masters, I--"
"OMG! Later for that!" Everyday Girl was motioning everyone to get behind Lardi's protective bulwark. "Gramps and I can totally bring him down now that his mystic energies are drained!"
They had Zardi cornered now, but the evil magician simply snapped his fingers and vanished in another poof of smoke.
"Damn!" said Lardi. "Well, let's get out of what's left of this conservatory and find him again."
"Fine, but let's snap it up. I need to get home and recharge before sunrise," grumbled Abin Quank. A few still-smoking chunks of the Fender Rhodes were pushed aside...
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008
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posted
"...has died of lead poisoning from that b-bullet he took in the ass," Lardy sobbed as he closed his communicator.
"Oh, I can't believe that p-poor--" Jailbait Lass sobbed so hard she couldn't finish her sentence.
"It's okay, Lolita," consoled Shark Lad. "He lived a better life than most."
"Shit! He's back!" Lardy yelled and created a protective bulwark around them with his Lard Force.
Zardi swooped in and penetrated Lardy's barrier with an enrgy that hit Lolita and Sharky. Suddenly both underwent a transformation.
"Jillikers!" Lash exclaimed. "They've transformed back into the personas Phineas made them into before: mousy librarian Mary Hatch and Naked Mole Rat!"
"Ha ha! They are at my mercy now!" Zardi cried as he drew Mary out. He fired what was intended to be a killing blow at Mary...
-------------------- "Suck it, depressos!"--M. Lash
From: The Underbelly of Society | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
...was revealed to be none other than Lori Morning after all!
*cough* *cough* "LMB," she said, "I know most of you have hated me for years...and maybe I deserved that...but...I just wanted to make amends for my past attacks on you...and do something right..."
And soon the lead from the b-bullet in her ass began to spread into her bloodstream and the LMB realized she wasn't going to make.
"My healing powers won't work," said Cobalt, "she's too far gone. In fact, I think she's been on the verge of death for awhile. See here," he said pointing to her throat, "she's obviously been in a horrific fight with someone when she was wearing the mask and going by the name of the Terror Teen."
Suddenly the communicator went off: "Lardy! Cobalt! Zardi is heading your way!" said Exnihil, "we did our best to weaken him but there's no telling how much effect we've had!"
"Okay Ex," said Lardy, now feeling the emotion of losing another ally. "But I've got bad news about Terror Teen...I regret to tell you she was Lori Morning and--"
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
posted
"...Yeah, I've seen some strange things in my time," said Kent. "But Zardi levitating atop that pirate's chest with the odd smell coming out through the keyhole..." he shook his head as he helped a dazed Pagan Lass regain her footing on the raft.
"Thanks, Kent." She brushed a few whelks off her costume and shook the seaweed from her hair. "But I'm okay, really."
"Well, fasten your seatbelts," Ex said, as he tried to get the communicator working in time to warn the others across town at the Lair. "Things are about to get stranger!"
Meanwhile, in that very locale, Cobie and the others circled around the Terror Teen as she tried to get up from the smoldering remains of the conversation pit. Furball sniffed the air and growled as if sensing something familiar.
"Easy, Furball." Dev Em motioned him and the others back. "Give them some air.
Sure enough, as Cobie drew down the still-smoldering mask and hood, she...
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
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