Legion World: Amuse me!

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Topic: Amuse me!

Dave Hackett
The Red Legionnaire
Offline

posted

I'm stuck here at the hospital for 24 hour observation. My book isn't doing it for me, there's no tv, and all I have is my wife's iPod touch. For the love of Brande some of you need to step up and save me from the monotony of it all!

From: Moncton, New Brunswick, Canada | Registered: Sep 2004 | IP: Logged |

MLLASH
bite into the all-caps
Offline

posted

OMG, I saw the thread title and would have bet a million dollars it was a Teeds thread!

I'll do what I can to help...

http://i3.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/003/231/dancing-spiderman.gif

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Visit the FULL FRONTAL FANDANGO & laugh along with Lash at http://lashlaugh.wordpress.com/

Registered: Jul 2003 | IP: Logged |

Eryk Davis Ester
Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
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posted

Why you no good, rotten, son of a cheap...

Oh wait, I thought this was the Abuse Me thread.

Carry on.

From: Liberty City | Registered: Jul 2003 | IP: Logged |

Exnihil
back in black (and white)
Offline

posted

Two dolphins walk into a bar.

First dolphin turns to the second one and says, "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEE-EEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

<taps mic>

Is this thing on?

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See Here for the latest update on the 2013 Chicago Gathering (now including tentative attendance list)

Registered: Feb 2008 | IP: Logged |

Viridis Lament
Cenobyte. Cthulhu. God.
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posted

There are two penguins in a bathtub.
The first one says "pass the soap?"
The second says "Holy shit, a talking penguin!!"

From: Fort McMurray | Registered: Nov 2004 | IP: Logged |

Dave Hackett
The Red Legionnaire
Offline

posted

Thanks all. A pretty young nurse just asked if she could shove something up my bum or if I'd rather do it myself. Weighing my options carefully here.

From: Moncton, New Brunswick, Canada | Registered: Sep 2004 | IP: Logged |

Kent Shakespeare
Spectacled Legion
Offline

posted

What does a fish say when swims into a brick wall?

Dam!

***

"Hallo? Dis ist der Cherman Coast Gardt."

"Help! We're sinking!"

"Vhat are you sinking about?"

***

On Sunday, one of the regular pensioners comes in to church without her husband, and weeps throughout the service.

The pastor approaches her afterward. "Agnes, are you okay?"

"I-it's my husband. He died last night."

"That's awful. Did he have any last words?"

"Yes. He said, 'For the love of god, Agnes, put down that gun!'"

From: Vancouver, BC, Canada | Registered: Dec 2003 | IP: Logged |

MLLASH
bite into the all-caps
Offline

posted

quote:
Originally posted by Dave Hackett:
Thanks all. A pretty young nurse just asked if she could shove something up my bum or if I'd rather do it myself. Weighing my options carefully here.

I likely have more experience than she does. Roll over...

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Visit the FULL FRONTAL FANDANGO & laugh along with Lash at http://lashlaugh.wordpress.com/

Registered: Jul 2003 | IP: Logged |

Quislet, Esq
Great Calamity Kittens!
Offline

posted

I'm a little teapot,
Short and stout,
Here is my handle,
Here is my spout,
When I get all steamed up,
Hear me shout,
Tip me up and pour me out!

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Five billion years from now the Sun will go nova and obliterate the Earth. Don't sweat the small stuff!

From: Boston | Registered: Aug 2003 | IP: Logged |

Dave Hackett
The Red Legionnaire
Offline

posted

Thanks all, it's good to have friends help you through the shitty times. Much appreciated

From: Moncton, New Brunswick, Canada | Registered: Sep 2004 | IP: Logged |

Dev - Em
KIA
Offline

posted

Do we all have to wear those drafty gowns?

From: Turn around... | Registered: Jul 2003 | IP: Logged |

Dave Hackett
The Red Legionnaire
Offline

posted

Mine ties in the back except the tie on mine was torn off by a previous patient

From: Moncton, New Brunswick, Canada | Registered: Sep 2004 | IP: Logged |

Dev - Em
KIA
Offline

posted

Should have let him get out of it first...or was it a her?

From: Turn around... | Registered: Jul 2003 | IP: Logged |

Kent Shakespeare
Spectacled Legion
Offline

posted

I once shot an elephant in my hospital gown. How it got in my hospital gown, I'll never know!

From: Vancouver, BC, Canada | Registered: Dec 2003 | IP: Logged |

Eryk Davis Ester
Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
Offline

posted

That story was irrelephant.

From: Liberty City | Registered: Jul 2003 | IP: Logged |

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