Sobriety. Boredom. Seriousness. Reboots. Rob Liefield.
They grow in the darkness and feed off the fear and laziness of everyday people. But there are those that seek to battle these evil forces!
They are the LMB, the group of heroes whose love of doing the right thing is only outmatched by their love of sex, violence and drunken debauchery!
Yet, a great horror has decended on Legion World. Uneasiness has crept into the hearts of the everyday citizens, who pass in the street, unnoticed by the heroes flying in the skies. Something is lurking in Legion World...something terrible...
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
<Everyday Girl sits at the monitor board>
"Abin Quank, check in please! We haven't gotten word from your group in quite awhile, and the dark forests you're exploring on the outskirts of Legion World are scary and stuff!"
"Whose with Abin?" said Invisible Brainiac, also on Monitor Duty.
"With Abin is Vee, Dedman, Faraway Lad, Caliente and Harbinger," she replied, "and one surprise stowaway, none other than..."
Posted by Greybird on :
"... none other than Grey Birdboy's weird brother, Great Fire-Maker, who left here with a strange spear in his hand and a wicked grin on his face!"
"I thought his orange-and-black feathers looked weird," mused I.B. "No color sense. Those weird genetics could create ... er, mental instability, y'know, as well ... oh, nass, we gotta warn them!"
Suddenly a cackle came out of the loudspeaker, and ...
Posted by Abin Quank on :
...sat on Everyday Girl's shoulder. Not every cackle in the universe is an evil, maniacal, laugh. A small number of cackles are actually Cackles, Inhabitants of the other dimensional world Cack. Interestingly enough, Cackles were originally thought to be demons but people quickly learned that they weren't mainly because all female Cackles look like mini-me clones of either Space Tart or Thriftshop Debutante, and all male cackles look like mini-me versions of Cobalt Kid or Eryk Davis Esther, When they're visible that is, which isn't often.
Oh, the Cackle sitting on Everyday Girl's shoulder was female...
[ April 25, 2009, 08:12 PM: Message edited by: Abin Quank ]
Posted by Tempest on :
...and a bit jealous at that. She hated all other non-Cackle female, except Everyday Girl, so it way no surprise to anyone that when the Four Elementals (Inferno, Earthstone, Aquatic and Tempest) entered they room, they where cackle-slapped.
"Son of a--," Tempest stifled her temper, "Everyday Girl, you had better learn to control that thing or my cat's going to have it for brunch, not lunch, Cackles aren't good for lunch."
Aquatic looked at the Monitor Board, "This Great Fire-Maker sounds dangerous, if we can't warn them about him, than maybe we should send someone down, someone like..."
Posted by Tamper Lad on :
..."Me? FEH I refuse to perpetuate these myths of the supernatural. Everyone knows there's no such thing as ghosts. (Numfy excepted, of course.) There's no evil in the woods, Im going there now to gather... er medicinal herbs."
TL flew into the dark forest looking for herbs. He ignored the posted warnings about interdimensional gateways to the Cack dimension, and the strange chants of the shadowy robed figures gathered around at the bonfire...
Posted by Abin Quank on :
...of the Vanities.
(Which was of course a very big mistake. I mean these stories would never go anywhere if people acted rationally in them - Oh, There's an axe-murderer hiding in the woods! Okay, let's go out into the woods and pick pine cones. - and did sensible things.)
So anyway, the tallest of the shadowy robed figures gathered around the Bonfire of the Vanities, turned to Tamper Lad and said, "Did you remember to bring the marshmallows?"
But! Meanwhile and Elsewhere...
[ October 24, 2005, 07:24 AM: Message edited by: Abin Quank ]
Posted by Faraway Lad on :
Faraway was trying to coax Harbinger and Caliente down from a rather large tree.
Harbi had ran up the tree chasing a Cackle who had run across her highly polished and new shoes, leaving muddy footprints on the leather and, well, not to put to fine a point on it, a little poop.
"fine a point on it" shouted Harbinger from within the branches, "I'll put the point of my shoe up its hairy little.....Mmmmmmffffummmmm.." the rest of the sentance was muffled by Caliente's hand, "sorry but this is, like, an all ages board remember"
"Abin" said Faraway, "you can clean up Harbinger cant you, we need to get on. Abin....Abin?"
Faraway turned to find Abin laughing and staring at Dedman, who was disco boogieing around a strange shaped tree, with a large crack down the side that was getting wider and wider.
"Hey, dudes, try these Shrooms, they are.....
And then he was gone swallowed up by the Tree.
Abin and Faraway darted forward but were stopped by.......
Posted by Harbinger on :
Harbinger's poopy shoe!
In a moment of frustration the normally urbane and demure lass had kicked out at the cackle that had been taunting her over the poop stained shoe from a very thing branch, just out of her reach. So, despite gentle Calientes efforts to stop her, she kicked at the branch. Her shoe slipped off her dainty and freshly pedicured foot, spun at a tremendous rate and flown towards the ground. Unfortunately right into Abin's broad and manly chest, knocking him over onto Faraway lad and sending both of the stalwart LMBPer's into a hitheto unmentioned pile of...
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
...pile of Time Machines!
"What is this, Grand Central Space Station?!" yelled Mearl Dox, coming out of her secret invisible lab, which was right in the center of the woods.
"Using Cackle technology, I was hoping to re-tune the Time Machines to create multiple Multiverses that don't vibrate on other levels, but actually speak and breed with one another! Now, all you've done is send Faraway Lad and Abin Quank into the nexus of space, time and multi-dimensions to Rao knows where!"
"No!" said Dedman, instantly leaping into the time machines to save them, but he was instantly killed!
"Don't question the will of the Supreme Ruler...riiiight" thought Caliente.
Where did Abin and Far end up? Ha! You won't know for at least a page! Meanwhile, Kid Prime, Nightcrawler and Lash Lad were engaged in peace talks with the Giant language speaking gorilla tribe of Legion World, when suddenly--
Posted by Harbinger on :
Harbi decided she wasn't getting enough time in the spotlight so we focus our story back on her.
She's forty feet up a tree with only one shoe on here guys, forget about the blinkin' gorillas - like they are so yesterdays news already! Get with the picture Cobie sweetheart, harbi needs rescuing already! Or at least a little attention. Or something.
And while we're at it, who's going to retrieve the poopy shoe for her eh? And clean it!
So, that aside we can resume at the most important part of this wonderful tale...
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
...the most important part of this wonderful tale, the day Numf-El wrongly announced to the galaxy that whomever returned Harbinger's feces embellished shoe to her maginficent, beautiful foot, would have the total and complete rights as her husband, her secretary, her maid and her cook!
Immediately, planets exploded in a fury, and males everywhere dashed into their space-ships, making their way to Legion World!
Alas! The temptation was too great! Fake shoes were immediately processed, as well as fake poop! The economy plunged! Poop from all manner of species, such as gigantic birds and killer whales was shipped en masse along the outer rims of space!
War broke out! Nations and planets, competing to gain the Queen, immediately took pre-emptive action and ordered the utter, complete annhilation of their neighboring planets!
The Time stream was in turmoil! Suitors from the future, and even some brillant ones from the past, immediatley flew into the time stream, attepmting to find the shoe! In 2005, on Earth-48, the infamous shoe-bomber was drawn and quartered on the mere notion that he might be responsible for the shoes destruction.
Princes Charming all over were being rounded up and beaten severely as a lesson to any who might think that pursuing Harbinger was a good idea!
Finally, when turmoil and war seemed like it would destroy all of existence, a few smart males, obviously from the *far* future, decided they needed to elect one male to oversee this process: Numf-El himself! Unfortunately, Numf was too busy lying in his own piss and vomit after a bender that left English channel an ugly green mess!
So they picked a back-up leader: Stoopid Cat!
Posted by dedman on :
Meanwhile, Kid Prime, Nightcrawler and Lash Lad were engaged in peace talks with the Giant language speaking gorilla tribe of Legion World, when suddenly-- Dedman reappears from the dead. Unfortunitly for the leader of the gorilla tribe, and for the peace talks; he reappeared in the middle of the tribes leader. The gorilla tribe, suddenly finding themselves leaderless, had no choice but to.......
Posted by Everyday Girl on :
...Capitulate, and throw themselves on the mercy of the LMBP.
Okay, so like the stupid talking gorillas are out of the way, although I do believe that Mr. Cobalt wil attempt to bring them back either three pages or 12 posts from now, whichever comes first.
Ohmygod, now we can get back to the like really important stuff...
quote:Originally posted by Harbinger: Harbi decided she wasn't getting enough time in the spotlight so we focus our story back on her.
She's forty feet up a tree with only one shoe on here guys, forget about the blinkin' gorillas - like they are so yesterdays news already! Get with the picture Cobie sweetheart, harbi needs rescuing already! Or at least a little attention. Or something.
And while we're at it, who's going to retrieve the poopy shoe for her eh? And clean it!
So, that aside we can resume at the most important part of this wonderful tale...
So like Everyday Girl, who was like on monitor duty and stuff, sends Icefire and Lad Boy (cause they like don't get all excited and junk about how beautiful and sexy she is) to rescue Miss Harbinger, but they get all confused and junk and wind up taking a side trip to Orgasmus Major.
So, like Everyday gets all huffy and snotty and sends No One and Nobody to like totally mess up Lad Boy and Icefire's little getaway.
Then she sends Kent Shakyrear and Mr. Semi Translucent Person to like rescue the totally buff Miss Harbinger, knowing that they'll get the job done, But...
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Suddenly, our attention turns back to the dissapearing leader of the Gorilla tribe!
(well, now I *have* to do it )
K'Batu, the Space Gorilla suddenly appears, to see that other sentients are appearing all around him! In fact, they're all actually semi-forgotten supporting characters of LMB lore!
Something Amazing!
Kid Gender Stereotype Reversal II!
Dollyputo!
Turns You Into A Country Fred!
Young H.G. Wells: Time-Boy!
Uncle Space!
Blok the Pet Rock!
They are...the Legion of Forgotten Honorary Message Board Posters! And unknown to them, they have been teleported to the Robotic Sentient Space-ship of...Grainiac!
More on them later!
Meanwhile,...
Posted by Stoopid Cat on :
**MEOW**
quote:Originally posted by Cobalt Kid: So they picked a back-up leader: Stoopid Cat!
Hey, Cobie I already did the Deputy Leader Thing, so lets not go there, okay.
Oh and I gotta go find Abin and Far, so Hrun and I will be busy for a while.
Hrun, put down the Girls and Jewels, we got work to do...
**MEOW**
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Now with two leaders unable to decide the fate of the world, the Suitors of Harbinger began to threaten existence itself.
Thankfully, the Cackle community, not willing to let the world end, quickly used their Cackle-ray in an attempt to stop this madness, as they turned her into a...
Posted by Abin Quank on :
Table Dancer!
That's Right, For ONE SHOW and One Show Only, LIVE ON THE MAIN STAGE OF SHAMELESS HUSSIES, Harbinger will join Pagan Lass, Hannah Hard-Body, Jailbait Lass, and that crowd pleaser from the JSMBP, Spectacular Aqua Lungs Lass!!!!
There's Never Been A Show Like This Before!
But First...
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
....A Word From Our Sponsor.
This page has been brought to you by Milk. Milk: It does a body good, so don't think too hard about where it comes from.
And now, back to our regularly scheduled thread, where we find that.....
Posted by Arachne on :
Spellbinder, Arachne and Fat Cramer have arrived at Shameless Hussies (having heard the unusually loud cheering all the way over at Cafe Cramer.) They quickly fan out to make sure the crowd doesn't get out of hand, but, unfortunately they don't know how to reverse the Cackle-ray. In desperation they realize they'll have to call...
Posted by Tempest on :
...Bree Van de Camp from Wysteria Lane, but none of them can reach her, so they call the Four Elementals (Tempest, Aquatic, Inferno, Earthstone)
Aquatic tells the girls, "The only way to reverse a Cackle-Ray is to cover all those hit by its beam with Manical Laughing Dust, but only one person has that, and that person is..."
Posted by disaster boy on :
dis boy! he tells them:
"late one drunken night i put it in..."
Posted by Abin Quank on :
...Stoopid Cat's Litter Box. I don't know if it's still there. But, I do know I'm not checking to see if it's there. Have you smelled that box lately?
Oh and by the way wasn't Vee originally with Abin's group in the dark scary forest?
What happened to him?
Posted by Everyday Girl on :
Sitting at the MMB, Everyday girl realizes that Harbinger has been hit by the Cackle Ray.
"Ohmygod, that is just so not right! It sucks and I'm like gonna hafta do something about it."
A Moment's concentration recalls both of her personal demons from Orgasmis Major where they were gleefully ruining Lad Boy and Icefire's illicit getaway.
"Ohmygod, you two change to Cackle form and go to Cack. Find King Hoo-Ra and Queen Yah-Hoo and tell them that I'll do what Princess Yea-Hah asked if they reverse the effects of the Cackle Ray.
Oh, and don't let any of the LMBPers see you entering the hollow tree that leads to Cack."
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Meanwhile, in the slave mines of Xanadu, Abin Quank and Faraway Lad suddenly appeared!
"What in the name of Proty is going on here?" said Faraway.
"I don't know, but look over there! Isn't that the media tycoon Orson Kane? How could he be imprisoned? And why is he caring around one of those little glass balls with a house and fake snow, that when you turn it upside down, it makes it look like it's snowing?"
"And," said some scantily clad slave girl, "why does that jar, instead of having a house, have a miniature penis in it?"
Back to Legion World's forests, Tamper Lad was...
Posted by Abin Quank on :
...Totally amazed and flabergasted that this "something" actually expected him to bring Marshmallows to a "Bonfire of the Vanities."
So he just stood, staring at the aparition before him, his mouth open and drool collecting in a puddle at his feet.
Meanwhile in the exact mathematical center of the dark, scary forest, which also just happened to be the exact mathematical center of Legion World, and which also by some strange coincidence was the exact mathematical center of our universe, Caliente and Mearl Dox are sharing girl talk and cupcakes.
Now it is not considered to be good manners to question the actions of the Supreme Ruler of the Universe, especially just after said Supreme Ruler has offered you a cupcake (and you've accepted).
"Mearl, if you don't mind my asking, why in the hell did you kill Dedman?"
"Oh Dear, I'm sorry Caliente, but you see, that wasn't Dedman. Dedman had already vanished into the hollow tree that leads to Cack. That was Madrox the Multiple Durlan, who for some strange and unknown reason has to be killed in every one of these tag team thingies. It's kind of similar to Kenny on South Park. Now eat your cupcake dear,"
And nearby...
Posted by Harbinger on :
a strange, mysterious and totally, absolutely and 100% original charcter watched, unnoticed by either of the girls.
But we don't want to hear about that now do we? We want to hear about Harbi's sultry swinging of her superb booty around a freshly baby oiled pole to the growing astonishment and eager applause of the crowds in Shakes Bar.
Well tough, I'm not going to mention it, in fact I'm going to return straight away to the strange, mysterious blah blah figure watching over Caliente and the Supreme Ruler of the Universe, Mearl Dox.
What made this strange, mysterious blah blah blah figure so incredibly unique in Legion Worlds outrageous and interesting history was this...
Posted by Abin Quank on :
quote:Originally posted by Harbinger: We want to hear about Harbi's sultry swinging of her superb booty around a freshly baby oiled pole...
...Well tough, I'm not going to mention it...
Now how in the hell am I supposed to follow that?
I know! I'll Introduce a strange, mysterious and totally, absolutely and 100% original character who right now is watching Mearl Dox and Caliente, unnoticed by either of the girls.
But first, lets check on Dedman, who has just become the second LMBPer to ever set foot on the planet Cack...
Posted by Harbinger on :
Dedman, for those of you who didn't know (which is probably most) has a secret, a secret he has strived to keep under wraps for YEARS! And it's this, he is totally obsessed with fluffy little animals, he loves them, their cute little ears, big soulful eyes and the soft and soothing feel of fur. Chinchilas, rabbits, cats, mice.. in fact nearly all fluffy little animals with a slight 'awwww cute' factor. He loved them all, each and every blessed one of them!
Pity then that Cack was filled with mini-EDEs and Mini-Cobies, mini-Space Tarts and mini-Thriftshop Deputantes. All lovely, charming and endearing in their own way of course, but unfortunately they just didn't cut it in the 'Awww diddums' stakes.
Consequently Dedman was feeling a bit sad.
Luckily for him that just as a tear was welling in his eyes (half a tear in each one in case you wondered) at the thought of never again feeling the tender ripple of little muscles under fur beneath his slab like fingers again, from out of the very air before him popped...
[ October 26, 2005, 03:36 PM: Message edited by: Harbinger ]
Posted by Abin Quank on :
...Stoopid Cat and Hrun.
"Deddy, what are you doing here?" SC exclaimed in a surprised yowl, as Dedman scooped him up and gave him a perfunctory petting.
"Noble Warrior, Dedman, hast thou seen the likes of Abin Quank and Faraway Lad? We dost search for their whereabouts."
But before Deddy could answer...
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
quote:Originally posted by Abin Quank: "Oh Dear, I'm sorry Caliente, but you see, that wasn't Dedman. Dedman had already vanished into the hollow tree that leads to Cack. That was Madrox the Multiple Durlan, who for some strange and unknown reason has to be killed in every one of these tag team thingies. It's kind of similar to Kenny on South Park. Now eat your cupcake dear,"
And nearby...
I literally laughed out loud!
Posted by Harbinger on :
we cut back to Harbi who was in the miidle of a spectacularly acrobatic manouvre two thirds of the way up the pole..
nah, sorry guys, we didn't really cut back to there at all. Fooled ya!
Actually we cut to Mearl and Caliente at the centre of the wood at the centre of LW at the centre of the Universe.
the mysterious stranger decided to announce his presence. But not in an ordinary way like for instance saying "Hi there, how are you?" or maybe by walking up to them waving a hand. No, nothing so ordinary. Nothing so mundane. After all, this is Legion World, wedon't do ordinary and mundane here. At least not in public we don't. Not too often anyway.
The dark and mysterious stranger jumped up onto a thigh wide branch above in one ridiculously easy looking leap, clinging onto it with his fingertips and bare toes, and raising his face to the darkened sky above began to...
Posted by Abin Quank on :
...Chant in a surprisingly mellow voice, "Ooompa-Loompa, Ooompa-Loompa, Ooompa-Loompa, ad nausium et ad infinitium..."
But before Mearl and Caliente could do more than look up in shock, a single gunshot cracked and the mysterious stranger fell to the ground, deader than Madrox the Multiple Durlan...
"Ohmygod, I was coming to like join you for cupcakes and girl talk when I saw that Madrox the Multiple Durlan Guy doing Ooompa-Loompa impersonations up in your tree, so I thought I'd get the "Kill Madrox" requirement out of the way early..." Everyday Girl said as she slid her gun back into it's concealed holster.
"But, didn't you just..." Caliente started to say in a confused voice as she turned to Mearl.
"Yes, Dear, but he's called the Multiple Durlan for a reason. He sends out short lived clones of himself on these attacks so that he is never in any danger. Why we once had a tag team story that was nothing but various LMBers killing Madrox every post." Mearl said with a small humorless laugh.
But at that very moment, back at Shameless Hussies...
[ October 27, 2005, 03:57 PM: Message edited by: Abin Quank ]
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Back at Shameless Hussies, the roaring crowd was hooting and hollering like never before! A cowboy hat and leather whip were thrown up to Harbinger on stage, to see what could possibly top this showing!
Meanwhile, back stage, Shameless Hussies underpaid stage worker Chlamydia Horrora stamped her foot in jealous rage. "So, they like her and shower her with praises, but they barely tip me and shower me in ----"
But before she could finish what was sure to be a strike-banning offense, someone from the corner of the room lit a cigerette in one of those really cool type movie scenes that just don't come across in writing.
"Why don't you do something then, to get back at her," said the soft-spoken man in business attire, who had an air of menace about him.
"With this," he said, holding a key.
Posted by Everyday Girl on :
High above the stage at Shameless Hussies, Her Royal Majesty, Yah-Hoo, Queen of Cackles, sat on a light fixture and watched curiously as Harbinger ascended to the stage below. Try as she might she just couldn’t come to grips with the human concept of body modesty. What made humans ashamed of their bodies, she wondered? And, why did that shame result in the popularity of spectacles like the one below? Oh well, no matter really, she was putting an end to this one right now…
A quick sprinkle of Maniacal Laughing Dust, and whoosh, the compulsions placed on Harbinger by the Cackle Ray were washed away, and just in the nick of time, too…
On the stage below, Harbinger blinked thrice, and thrice again, as her head cleared. For the first time in several hours she was in complete control of her faculties. She looked down into the front row, where her friends Arachne, Fat Cramer, Spellbinder, Frio, Nova Girl, Gina DC, Gigglebot Lass, Lady Kat, Pagan Lass and virtually every woman who’d ever visited Legion World (and wasn’t currently having cupcakes with the Supreme Ruler of the Universe) sat smiling serenely up at the stage and suddenly realized that there wasn’t a single male in the audience.
“What… Where are all the guys?”
“Everybody knew you weren’t doing that,” Pagan Lass answered for the group, “of your own free will. You were under a compulsion to put on a show, but nobody was under a compulsion to watch that show, so we decided that your show would have a very select audience…”
“Yep,” Commented Space Tart wryly as she rubbed a set of bruised knuckles, “even if a few of us had to place a certain Cobalt Kid under a different form of compulsion…”
“So now,” Spellbinder added thoughtfully, gazing up at the overhead light fixtures, “we need to find out what Queen Yah-Hoo needs so desperately from Everyday Girl, that she would use a compulsion on you to blackmail Brit into capitulating to her demands.”
"Well it might have something to do with these two," said Jailbait Lass as she, Plain Jane, and Hardbody Hannah hauled Chlamydia Horrora and the nameless man in the business suit out of the dressing room area. "We found these two going through Harbi's Locker and spreading some kind of paste all over the inside of her clothes..."
[ October 27, 2005, 05:14 PM: Message edited by: Everyday Girl ]
Posted by The Royal Inquisitor on :
As she tossed the two of them aside, Plain Jane couldn't help but let her thoughts drift away. She came to Legion World to be closer to Icefyre, but he never seemed to be around. And he never showed any interest with her, instead always wanting to play around with the guys or do that cute little dance on the pole at Shameless Hussies. It wasn't her fault that she wasn't pretty enough or interesting enough for him to like her. Why did she have to be so plain?
Why didn't Icefyre simply love her like she loved him?
*choke*
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Meanwhile, floating in the Ocean of Untimely Ends, the Legion World equivalent of the Indian Ocean, Eryk Davis Ester, Cobalt Kid, Space Tart, Leap Year Lass and Restless Swimmer Lass were all enjoying a quiet fishing trip. Restless Swimmer Lass had met them at the docks and agreed to come out and join them.
"Gee, I sure hope we don't get involved in any scary adventures," said EDE, to which Cobalt replied "you said it, pal!"
Little did they know a large 37' Great White Shark was circling their boat in the depths below, patiently waiting for the chance to devour them while they were still alive! "Hey Eryk, throw some of those bloody dead fish back into the ocean," said Leap Year Lass, "they're stinking up the boat!" "Sure thing!". ---------------------- Back at Shameless Hussies:
Queen Yah-Hoo of the Cackles watched on as the LMB had Chlamydia Horrora and the nameless cigerette smoking business man before them!
"Talk skank!" said Harbinger, pushing Chlamydia forward! "You were going to open the floor while I was dancing to reveal a swimming pool, a la 'It's a Wonderful Life', weren't you?!"
"*Gasp!* I don't know how you figured out my plans, but you're right! And I'm not sorry!"
"And who are you?" said FC to the businessman.
The man smiled and lit another ciggerette. "He's smoking," whispered Arachne "he must be evil."
"You can call me Mr. Halloween for now," he said, "and I've got a few surprises in store for you tonight. The first should be happening any second..."
Suddenly, Chalmydia started to cough! Hacking! Wheezing! It looked painful! Horrible! She was wretching!
Leaning back, she gagged and then...SPLAT!!
A baby alien crawled out of her stomach with a toothy grin and said...
Posted by Everyday Girl on :
"Did anyone here loose this Toothy Grin?" the small alien said as it crawled out of the mess that used to be Chlamydia, "I found it laying on the floor over... There..."
The small, nameless alien seemed to notice for the first time the body behind it.
"Did I do that? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that! But ever since that movie came out... Stuff like that just seems to happen. Well, at least it was just another Clone of Madrox the Multiple Durlan."
"Have we been introduced? My name is Tim and I came here all the way here from Polesnarfle in search of the Legendary Hero, Cobalt Kid."
Posted by Outdoor Miner on :
We'll return to the Halloween Tag Thread after these messages:
Coming soon from Paramount Pictures - just in time for Halloween - is the new hit film teaming America's favorite unstoppable serial killer with America's favorite drooling four-legged behemoth! Yes, it's "Beethoven's 13th" - a journey into the bowels of Hell that's fun for the whole family! Starring Charles Grodin, Mary Stuart Masterson, and Yeardly Smith as the voice of Jason.
Listen to what the critics have to say about "Beethoven's 13th":
"Had our thumbs not been brutally hacked off, they'd be up!" - Ebert & the other guy.
"I wet myself with joy!" - Rex Reed
"This film was so powerful, it brought me back from the dead!" - The zombie corpse of Pauline Kael.
That's "Beethoven's 13th", opening soon!
Also opening soon, from Marvel Entertainment....
Marvel Entertainment president Avi Arad and heavy metal auteur Rob Zombie team-up to bring you "X-Men 3: House of M Corpses"!! See Captain Spaulding and the rest of America's First Family of serial killers go toe-to-toe with those marvelous mutants of moviedom! Features celebrity cameos from Halle Berry.....
"Do I get script approval? Hey, wait......AAAAAGGHHH!!"
....Hugh Jackman....
"I'm the best there is what I do, and right now that means holding in my entrails."
...and a special appearance by Ben Afleck as Daredevil
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry about the Daredevil movie! Now give me back my eyes!"
That's "X-Men 3: House of M Corpses"coming soon to a theatre near you! Also look out for the video game!
And now, back to your Halloween Tag Thread...
Posted by Ghost of Numf-El on :
Numf-El staggers into Shameless Hussies.
"Not Harbi pole dancing again! I thought she would have learned. I'm not staying around to remove small furry animals this time - I think I'll go to Cafe Cramer for a coffee instead. Try and get rid of this hangover. Mmmmm, might be better if I went home and had a shower first. "Give me a call if you need me!" he shouts to Harbi, making sure it isn't actually loud enough for her to hear. And off he staggers.
Meanwhile, at the Sheriton ......
Posted by Everyday Girl on :
The band "Calamity" played on...
and on...
But thankfully, deep in the scary forest, Tamper Lad stopped drooling and said...
Posted by Harbinger on :
"oh bugger! I've just had an accident!"
In his pleased state he had dropped the last bag of fluffy McGibbon of Choo marshmallows (both pink and the scarily coloured pink) onto the fire, STILL IN THE WRAPPING! Even as the tongues of pale blue and white flame teased, tickled and ultimately melted the plastic wrapping around the succulent blackeningmarshmallows.
The apprirition stood with hands on hips, left foot tapping the beat of her anger. "Eeh, I'm famished doncha know? Got anything else on ya? Mars bar? Muesli bar?"
Tamper looked at his survival pouch, the one Princess Crujectra had lovingly packed. "Umm, I've only got this"
He sheepishly offers the pouch to the appirition, "will this do?"
She tentatively looks over the leathered lip of the offered pouch and is shocked to see...
Posted by Harbinger on :
Stoopid Cat interuptd by jumping onto Hruns shoulder, dug his claws into the barbarians hairy Shoulder (Aside - Kenny, you might have Hrun DNA too in the mix) and arched his back, all the while emitting a howl that could scare a pretty touch thing not normally scared by cat's screaming in the middle of the night in the middle of a really dark mysterious forest at the centre of all creation. So probably the average Minke Whale wouldn't at least turn to see what had created that awful noise, and that's only because there are so few of them left that they run away fromm their own shadow these days.
(Harbi gets off her soapbox reluctantly, thinking, why didn't I also say.. oh the list goes on)
"what the..???" Ded man in incredulous!
Hruns turns to his fellow warrior and says, "Never fear, the scabby beast is only screaming because..."
Posted by Harbinger on :
HEY TABOR!!! Where's your post gone?
Posted by Harbinger on :
<back on topic>>>>>>>
"... like the reader he's wondering where Chucks funny posty about he and I, the mighty Hrun, appeared out of the pouch. A bigger question is...
Posted by Ghost of Numf-El on :
But he's too busy trying to get into... Ummm... Nevermind.
So anyway, Back at Mearl Dox's Cottage in the middle of the scary woods, Mearl, Caliente, and Everyday Girl were just settling in for a second round of Tea, cupcakes, and girl-talk when a strange and eerie noise interupted one of Caliente's best Tamper lad stories (you know, the ones girls only tell when they are absopoistutely sure no guys are around cuz guys egos shatter so easily).
But they fail to hear the noise cuz they're laughing so hard, which is really bad for them cuz that noise announced the arrival of that 100% new, special, and different character hinted at earlier in this thread. And because nobody bothered to greet it on it's arrival on Legion World the New Character decided to go elsewhere.
But back on Cack...
Posted by Faraway Lad on :
That must be mine then seeing as how I am just back from the Bar.
So let’s see, we’ll need three quarts of Geneva, two large bottles of Grog, a flagon or two of mead for Hrun. Now how else needs a brew? Sttopid Cat Can I get you some Catsnip? Whilst EG (whispers) here have a babycham but don’t let gramps know.
I think, I’ll have a pint of Jenning’s Snecklifter, its cold out and that’s a good winter warmer. Harbi I think yours is Skullsplitter? Numf I guess you’ll have to be on Carlsberg as it’s a pale phantom of a beer just as you are a ghostly phantom yourself.
Now shall we all go and sit down in that nice deserted lake side cottage, in the middle of this haunted wood and next to that old Indian burial ground?? And wait for someone to tell us what’s going on.
Posted by Abin Quank on :
Well, how do we get this thread back on track? Hmmm... Or should that be on Cack?
Well one way is to revisit the deep dark scary woods and the Bonfire of the Vanities. But we aren't gonna do that. Nope, no sir, way too scary for me.
So anyway...
On Cack Hrun turns to his fellow warrior and says, "Never fear, the scabby beast is only screaming because a bloody giant skelatal hand has scooped all of us up and is lifting us up to a hole in the sky. See, that hole right there, just next to the hole that you fell through when you came here."
And so it came to pass that Stoopid Cat, Hrun, and Dedman, were lifted up into and through the heavens of Cack and suddenly found themselves sitting on the ground in the deep dark scary woods, where they found...
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
That mysterious enemy that the Legion World women were dealing with earlier in this thread!
"What? I thought you were a throwaway stupid character that we wouldn't see anymore!" said Dedman.
"I'm afraid not," said the enemy with a grin. "Because, you see, this thread was meant to be a Halloween thread, but the drunken inanity of the LMB has caused it to spill not only into Thanksgiving, but into the December holidays as well! Hahahahaha! This is exactly my plan! For I am Johnny Halloween, and I intend to turn this Christmas into a Halloween Nightmare!"
And with that, he shot Dedman right in the face!
"I say thee nay!" screamed Hrun, as Stoopid Cat immediately grew into the Tiger Avatar God!
"Try and fight me if you want," said Johnny Halloween, but I'm not the entirely new character mentioned in this thread, and the one you should really fear! Why, even now, on Cack, our plans are moving forward! You see..."
Posted by Abin Quank on :
quote:Originally posted by Harbinger: <back on topic>>>>>>>
"... like the reader he's wondering where Chucks funny posty about he and I, the mighty Hrun, appeared out of the pouch. A bigger question is...
Now is that really back on topic or is it just more self gratification for you Mrs. Hill?
But anyway back to the Bonfire of the Vanities, where Tamper Lad, in his usual Evil Genius Fashion has come up with a wonderous plan for freeing himself from his latest predicament.
"Help! Anybody! Help Me Please! Caliente, Mearle, Ev-Girl, Anybody! Help!"
Well, we never said it was a good plan. But, as luck would have it the 100% New, Different, and Amazingly Wonderful character that has long been hinted about in this thread wandered aimlessly past...
Posted by Harbinger on :
..asking himself what was particularly "self gratifying" about asking where a post had gone, especially after a reply had been added.
Posted by Abin Quank on :
...And further wondering just how much red wine a certain unnamed 'Binger had drunk the night she saw the mysterious post that a certain unnamed Mr. T never wrote or posted...
But then He, She, or It as the case may be realized that goings-on such as the above were normal for Legion World and continued on His, Her. or It's way with a warm feeling of contentment in the area where most beings have internal organs.
Unfortunately, elswhere on Legion World...
Posted by Faraway Lad on :
The Ghost of Halloween's past, present and future were sneaking up slowly on Mearl, Caliente and Everyday Girl, intending to put the willies up the girls and scare them out of their skins like all ghost stories should. As an added bonus the Ghost of Halloween past intended to steal all the cup cakes and hand them over to the cacks.
Looking in on all this was.......
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
Invisible Brainiac, wondering why he hadn't appeared since the second post of this thread.
Then he realized he couldn't turn visible!
"Oh well", he shrugged, and immediately began gobbling up all the delicious cupcakes. And making rude gestures behinds the backs of people whom he disliked. Which wasn't many, since IB is by nature a very sweet young man, but there are just some people who irritate even the sweetest of guys. And...
IB suddenly stopped gobbling cupcakes, because he couldn't quite remember what his point was.
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
)![[LOL]](graemlins/lol.gif)
I literally laughed out loud!