A ONEVISION Originally written in November 2000 on the old LEGIONNAIRES board, now revised and expanded for LEGION WORLD!
It was a time like no other before or since. A time of acid-tripping and guitar-riffing, of free love and cheap polyester, of long hair and wearing no underwear.
And, oh yes, a time for... evil.
But whenever evil floats to the surface like a bloated corpse, the LMB EXPERIENCE is there, man!
Harken then, to these times of yore and the adventures of a band of friends who sought to keep the peace through acts of war.
THE LAST DAYS OF THE LMB EXPERIENCE
ACID LAD--- Able to disorient any foe with his psychedelic illusions!
SUNDOWN--- You better take care, or this girl will smother you in darkness!
BOY 54--- When his mojo is on, you're his, body & soul!
RHINESTONE COWBOY--- He knows what evil lurks on the dirty streets of Broadway!
ROLLER QUEEN--- Hell on skates!
[ October 07, 2005, 01:04 PM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
Acid Lad dropped another hit. He stared around his dilapidated apartment with disgust, supressing a shudder of revulsion. He waited for the LSD to kick in, knowing full well it wouldn't. He continued writing in his journal.
You would think a hero deserves better than this. No one remembers ANYTHING we do. It's all a joke to the press, to the people. DAMN IT!!
It's all falling apart. Sundown keeps slipping closer and closer to the dark side. She won't say it, but I know she's seeing someone else. And why not? She deserves better than the loser she has now.
Boy 54 never has gotten over Platform King's leaving. The stupid kid is worse than ever. He's out whoring every night now. It used to be just when Platform King was on a mission.
Rhinestone Cowboy has just about gone over the edge since the breakup with Roller Queen. Every time some 2-bit hood is reported dead, I know it's him. He's obsessed.
Queenie, at least, is having a blast in the roller derby, though. She's really lightened up since they split.
So, we're all that's left of the LMBE. Or are we even that? No mission in weeks, Sundown won't see me and I'm depressed as all hell.
Going to see Dr. "boots not butts" Butz today... got a lot to get off my mind.
Acid Lad dropped another hit, knowing, like the hundreds before, that it would have no effect. He set his journal aside and prepared to visit his shrink.
[ October 07, 2005, 01:20 PM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
Sundown's thoughts were an incoherent stream that raged into a flood as she plunged the needle into her vein.
No longer able to hide her track marks from Acid Lad, she had unofficially stopped seeing him.
He couldn't feel what she felt, couldn't know this was a power like no other, a love like no other, he couldn't see her like this, not like this, he couldn't, he couldn't, he couldn't, he wouldn't, he...
Sundown fell back against the wall and felt no pain when her head smacked the floor.
"So numb... and dark..."
As sweet unconsciousness beckoned, she knew that she had to see him. She needed help. She could no longer fight the darkness alone.
Posted by MLLASH on :
All eyes were on the boy. Not one person in the smoke-filled room could turn away. He held them all in his power as he danced to the pulsating disco beat. your body, my body
If he wanted, he knew he could have any of them. ALL of them. But he had had no one since the King.
The dance floor was no longer a mating room. Only a dining room.
A kind of vampire, that's what he is. 54 years old but not a day over 17. Would Platform King have understood? "SHOULD I HAVE TOLD HIM?" he screamed to no one yet everyone.
He continued to dance. let's all chant
He could have used his power to keep the King with him. He could have fed on the King.
He wanted the King to stay with him because he loved him, not because he was made to.
"I should have told him the truth." he said to himself as he continued to feed on the enthralled crowd.
The boy exited the dance floor and then the bar, satiated. As he began the long, lonely walk home, the entrancement of the disco patrons lifted. They would remember only the most stunning boy they had ever seen. Unable to describe him, they would call him Boy 54.
Posted by MLLASH on :
He'd been walking these streets so long that he knew every crackhead on the dirty streets, every hooker on the corners. Hustle was the name of their game, and he let them be. The whores were the only thing that took his mind off... Queenie.
But the prostitutes only gave him temporary solace. His thoughts were of her at all other times. EXCEPT...
He felt the jab in his back, heard the desperation in the voice... "Gimme yer money, Tex-- NOW!!"
Rhinestone Cowboy instinctively activated his power-suit. The mugger was blinded by the brilliance emitted, and the gun was quickly removed from his hand.
The Cowboy drug the obviously recent arrival to town down a dark alleyway. The street people ignored the mugger's pleas for help They knew to stay out of his way.
Eventually the punk's cries ceased. Rhinestone Cowboy emerged from the alley splattered in blood not his own.
And again his thoughts turned to her. He ambled on down the sidewalk, wiping blood from his face, praying for the next respite from her memory.
Posted by MLLASH on :
>>>BASH!<<<
2-Fisted Frieda went down hard. One more opponent out of the way.
A well-timed body smash into Skatin' Sally sent her tumbling into the path of Wanda Wheels. Both girls crashed on the alley floor.
The cheers from the audience were better than any drug she'd ever tried. They called her name in unison, worshipping her as if she were actual royalty. And she was roller derby royalty. She was the Roller Queen and they all knew it!
Her thoughts raced, fueled by adreneline.
Even the LMBE's worthwhile accomplishments had been belittled and made to look ridiculous by the press. But here-- here, she had RESPECT. Here, she was a celebrity at last! Here, she was free of the obsessive desire of the Cowboy.
She hadn't answered a signal from them in weeks, and they had finally stopped signalling. But she couldn't help but hope they were all okay... even the Cowboy.
"QUEENIE QUEENIE QUEENIE QUEENIE" The chant of the audience snapped her back to reality. The derby was over, and once again she had led her team to victory.
[ October 07, 2005, 02:06 PM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
From the Obituary of a Phoenix, Arizona Newspaper
BELLE ROTH, 26
Found murdered in her home Monday morning. Police have no leads or suspects at present. Ms. Roth was once known as Belle Bottom, a short-term member of the maligned LMB Experience, the group sanctioned in 1967 by the Justice Society Message Board. The JSMB would later cut ties with the LMBE in 1971...
[ October 08, 2005, 11:19 AM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
Acid Lad focused on the smooth, comforting tone of Dr. Butz' voice.
"So you feel that Sundown has taken up with another gentleman friend?"
"Heh. Yeah, that's... one way of putting it." He placed another tablet beneath his tongue.
"You do understand why you are immune to drugs, don't you? And alcohol too, I'd wager."
"No. I just know it started happening a few years ago, right before my powers kicked in."
"That is because your body metabolizes the drugs and turns them into your illusion powers. You will never feel the effects of anything with mind-altering properties."
Acid Lad's eyes grew wide. "Are you saying..."
"The more drugs you take, the more powerful you become. If you discontinue their use, your power will atrophy."
Acid Lad seemed to relax, his body sinking further into the chair. "Well. That explains... a lot, actually."
Dr. Butz continued. "Tell me more about the LMB Experience themselves. We have focused on Sundown, but you have spoken of Roller Queen, Boy 54 and Rhinestone Cowboy only in passing. I am curious to learn more of your feelings for them."
Acid Lad took a deep breath. "Well, Doc, let me tell ya..."
[ October 07, 2005, 02:47 PM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
Sundown's trembling hand reached for the phone on her nightstand. Just a few inches more...
She fell back on the floor without the strength to try again.
Her thoughts bounced to and fro and kept returning to the dealer she had bought this heroin from. She had never seen him before. She knew better than to do that, but she was desperate at the time...
Too well-dressed. He had been too well-dressed. What dealer had she ever seen dressed like that?
And he had called her by name.
Sundown. Even the press would get her name wrong... Sunflower, Sun Girl, Nightfall...
She would have laughed if she had the strength.
But HE had called her Sundown.
GOD! He had been TOO well-dessed and he knew her name and he had been TOO well-dressed and clean and shaven and he knew her name!
In desperation, she again attempted to lift herself from the floor, to reach for the phone. She wanted to call Acid Lad... one last time.
But again she fell back. As darkness closed in, her ocean of thoughts dried to a simple stream... "I'm dying... I'm a junkie... I'm dying a junkie I'm dying a junkie I'm dying a junkie I'm dying..."
[ October 07, 2005, 03:15 PM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
Boy 54 entered his tiny apartment. It only seemed smaller with the King gone.
He should have been honest. He knew some of the others thought the worst when he went out "clubbing"-- what else could they think?-- and the rumours had finally forced the King to leave him.
Boy 54 exhaled a weary sigh of realization. "King, I'm a vampire that feeds not on blood but on lust." There. He had said it. Far, far too late, of course.
He threw himself upon his mattress and stared at the neon shining through his window, waiting for its unearthly glow to lull him to sleep.
The ring of his telephone sent jolts of shock, excitement and fear through him... was it the King? He picked up and said "Hello?" hesitantly.
"Boy."
It was Rhinestone Cowboy. He hadn't seen or heard from him in days. Boy 54 had always felt uneasy around the Cowboy. Most people, both male and female, fed him a constant stream of low-level lust, even when his power was "turned off". Not the Cowboy, not even once.
The sound of his voice on the phone made Boy 54 very afraid for reasons he couldn't comprehend. This man had been a trusted teammate of his for years.
"Rhinestone? What... what's wrong?"
The Cowboy breathed heavily on the other end, then said, "I'm going to kill Roller Queen."
[ October 08, 2005, 11:43 AM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
Boy 54 was taken aback, unsure of how to reply to that. "You don't mean it."
"I've killed every night for 2 weeks straight. Don't tell me I don't mean it."
Silence for a moment, and then the Cowboy continued, "Do you know what she left me with, Boy? A subway token and a dollar stuck inside my shoe. I can't stop thinking about her!"
"I miss Platform King too, Cowboy. But I wish him well, not dead."
"I'm... lonely, Boy. She's made me crazy..." his voice cracked with tears and for the first time ever, Boy 54 could identify with Rhinestone Cowboy.
"Where are you?"
"The pay phone down the street from her pad."
Boy's heart suddenly raced. "For God's sake, just stay there. Right there! I'm on my way. We'll... I dunno, go get some coffee or something."
"I'm waiting."
Boy 54 slammed down the phone and raced out the door, fearful for both the Cowboy and Queenie. He ran down the sidewalk as if his inner demons had been thrust suddenly outside, chasing him.
Posted by MLLASH on :
Roller Queen skated home as if gliding on air, her equipment bag draped over her shoulder swaying left then right.
Still feeling euphoric from tonight's victory, she gasped when she spied the white stetson and glittering ruby suit almost a block ahead.
"R.C!" she whispered. She stopped dead in her tracks. He hadn't seen her.
"What the hell is he doing, anyway? Spying on me? He isn't close enough to see in my window..."
The blonde, skinny frame of Boy 54 trotted up to the Cowboy, and a look of realization came over Queenie. "Well, well, well. How sweet. They're checking up on me." She smiled despite herself.
"I'll show 'em I'm doing just fine without the LMB Experience!"
Roller Queen began skating toward her oblivious former teammates confidently.
Posted by MLLASH on :
Boy 54 stiffened as he saw Roller Queen in the distance, advancing quickly. Awww, Christ! he thought. What do we do now?
Rhinestone Cowboy noticed his change in body language instantly. "What? What is it?" And then he thought he heard... skating. "She's behind me, isn't sh--"
>>>BASH!<<<
The Cowboy and Boy 54 sprawled together on the pavement as Roller Queen laughed hysterically.
"You two wouldn't last 10 seconds in the derby Hahaha...! The looks on your faces... HAhaha!!"
Boy 54, about to panic, felt a rush of sweet relief as the Cowboy's face melted from fury to a smile. Queenie's laughter was infectious.
"So", Roller Queen stated matter-of-factly, "Who does a girl have to f#ck around here to get some dinner?"
As Rhinestone Cowboy helped Boy 54 off the sidewalk, he said, "My treat."
Posted by MLLASH on :
From the Obituary of a Chicago, Illinois Newspaper
ANTHONY OWENS, 28
...found murdered in his home Thursday night. Owens was known in his community as a hard-line civil rights activist and was rumoured to be the one-time LMB Experience member known as Peace-Taker...
Posted by MLLASH on :
Acid Lad actually enjoyed the walk home. The night breeze blowing through his long brown hair was divine. He always felt better after talking with Dr. Butz, but this time had been a revelation in every sense of the word.
It had really helped to talk about the LMBE. Dr. Butz helped him understand that it wasn't his fault the group was falling apart.
The group had been shaky from the start anyway. And then the resignations started piling up... Belle Bottom, Peace-Taker, The Living Afro, Bong Boy, Frisbee Frank... all quit and ended up who knows where.
What the LMBE had been reduced to was a group of couples, and that began to crack with the resignation of Platform King. And then RC and Queenie split up, and Sundown began... distancing herself. Sundown...
Damn it, I don't care who she's screwing. I wanna know if she's in the LMBE, or out.
Acid Lad placed a pill on his tongue and changed directions, heading toward Sundown's apartment.
Posted by MLLASH on :
Acid Lad knocked on Sundown's door. Silence.
He knocked again, more insistently.
He heard the faintest sound of a whimper coming from inside.
He tried the doorknob but it was locked. Determined, he raised his foot from the floor and a well-placed kick sent the door crashing open. "Sundown...?" He entered the apartment. He again heard what sounded like a pitiful whimper coming from the bedroom. The door was ajar. He pushed it opened and entered.
The sight was almost more than he could bear. His beautiful Sundown was lying on the floor amidst a pool of vomit, blood and Lord only knew what else. Her arms were black and blue. Needles littered her floor and bed. Now he knew why she had been so distant recently, why she had finally disappeared from the LMBE and him.
He bent down and cradled her in his arms. Sundown's eyes fluttered open just slightly and she saw that her final prayer had been answered. "Acid... I love you... so much... I'm a junkie, baby... a loser..."
"Sssssh, baby, you rest." Acid Lad activated his power and sent illusions of Sundown's heroic deeds into her mind's eye. She had saved lives. She had defeated world-beater wannabees. She had been anything but a loser!
Sundown managed to form a smile. "I... did do stuff... I did... help..."
"More than you can know, Sundown." Acid Lad shifted the panorama he projected to visions of the two of them at their happiest together.
She squeezed his hand hard. Acid Lad's tears fell on her face as she breathed her last.
Posted by MLLASH on :
Roller Queen couldn't believe she was sitting here at Fat Al's about to scarf out with Boy 54 and the Cowboy. The truth of the matter was, she had missed him... them.
"RC, you're looking a mite peaked. Have you been out partying too much?"
The Cowboy stiffened noticeably. "Relax, Rhinestone..." Boy 54 interjected. "...we're all friends here, having dinner together like friends do, right?"
"Phsssaw! I noticed your skinny butt didn't even order anything. I don't think I've ever see you eat, Boy!"
Boy 54 turned from Roller Queen and glanced around the crowded diner. Several customers there met his eye contact as he scanned the crowd. He turned back to Queenie and said, "I've... already eaten once tonight. And I'm always... snacking here and there."
Roller Queen giggled, "Yeah I just bet you are."
"Queenie, I've missed you... awfully."
Roller queen stared at the Cowboy. After a moment of awkward silence, she sighed and said, "Same old serious Cowboy. That rugged face would crack and fall off if you were to smile once in a while, wouldn't it?"
The Cowboy stared downward at the table and didn't reply. Roller Queen reached over and touched his chin, turned his face to her eyes. "Cowboy, I was mad as all hell when I first spotted you tonight. But if you recall, coming here was my idea. Let's enjoy it, okay, babydoll?"
Rhinestone Cowboy shook his head "yes" and offered a half-smile/half-grimace that made Roller Queen giggle again. "I have missed you fellas. How the hell are Acid and Sundown doing? You guys gone up against The Boogie Squad lately? Or that crazy werewolf Ruff Trade?"
Before either could reply, the unmistakeable buzz of the LMBE signal alert went off. Boy 54's peace-sign belt buckle and the Cowboy's bolo tie were signalling for the first time in weeks. The Cowboy noticed Roller Queen's skates were also buzzing. "So, you DO still wear the signal."
"Of course, honey-britches. I was curious to see if you would signal for me."
Boy 54 interrupted them, taking a serious tone. "Uuh, this signal is coming from Sundown's pad. I can't even remember the last time she sent out an alert."
Rhinestone Cowboy stood and threw a twenty on the table. "Something's awry here, Boy. Let's go!" He turned to Roller Queen. "You coming?"
She thought about telling him to f#ck off. She thought about how tired she was from the derby. She thought about how she had never wanted to see him again.
She stood and said, "Just try and stop me."
The three left Fat Al's, making the familiar walk to Sundown's apartment.
Posted by MLLASH on :
Acid Lad met them at the door.
He was a little shocked that they all arrived together... and a little glad too.
Calling the ambulance for Sundown was the hardest thing he had ever ad to do. He didn't want to be alone right now. He wanted to be surrounded by her things and those that had been her teammates.
He had cleaned her and the apartment up as best he could, but he knew when word leaked out, the press would massacre her. The LMB Experience would never match the greatness of the JSMB in their eyes. And maybe they were right.
"She's gone, guys. She's... singing in the sky now..." He broke down into tears and Roller Queen hugged him close.
"What happened, Acid? Was it one of our enemies?"
"Suicide." he lied through his tears.
Roller Queen's tears started to flow. Boy 54 looked down, almost ashamed, the concept of death foreign to him. Rhinestone Cowboy stared straight ahead, his face showing no emotion.
Finally he asked Acid Lad, "Where do we go from here?"
Acid Lad wiped the tears from his face and replied, "I think it's time we made it official. I think it's time for the LMBE to end. We've already started to move on anyway, right? The world doesn't need us. We don't need us..."
Rhinestone Cowboy turned and walked out of the aprtment without a single word.
"RC...?" Roller Queen had to fight down the urge to follow after him, to see what was wrong.
Already hurting, Acid Lad vented, "What the hell is his deal? Jerk."
Surprising even himself with his protectiveness, Boy 54 intervened. "This, and, well... other stuff has been hard on him too."
Roller Queen again hugged Acid Lad close. "Forget him, Acid. You know how he is."
The Cowboy's thoughts raced as his boots pounded the pavement.
Acid Lad's gotten too weak. I've only gotten stronger. I'll banish it ALL from my mind. The LMBE. Queenie. EVERYTHING. Everything but the mission.
SOMEBODY has to keep the streets safe.
Right? Posted by MLLASH on :
ONE WEEK LATER
Dr. Butz stared at Acid Lad. Acid Lad met his gaze until he could bear it no longer. "WHAT?!" he half-asked, half-yelled.
"I was merely contemplating the progress you have made, Lad. When you first came to me for assistance weeks ago, you were on the verge of a breakdown. You are now on the verge of a breakthrough."
Acid Lad scoffed.
"Do not sell your accomplishments short, Lad. The young man that first came to my office wallowing in despair over his girlfriend and the instability of his group has triumphed over the loss of both of them."
"Triumphed? Nah. Just still living. I've gotta believe everything happens for a reason. Sundown, the LMBE, my whole mess of a life... for a reason."
"As do I, Acid Lad. As do I." Dr. Butz let out a slight chuckle and suddenly Acid Lad wanted nothing more than to be away from him.
Posted by MLLASH on :
From the Obituary of a Nashville, Tennessee Newspaper
AARON ELVIS LYNNE, 24
...body was "shredded", say local officers...
...found several pair of platform shoes containing gadgets such as catapults and hydraulic stilts, known to be the primary weapon of former LMB Experience member Platform King.
Posted by MLLASH on :
Boy 54 exited his apartment and cut through the alley beside it. It was time for a thorough night of club-hopping. He had thought he could make it one more night at home, but his hunger had built from a moan to a deafening wail in the week since Sundown died. He had to feed tonight.
Only a few feet into the alley, he realized he was not alone. Somebody was watching him... wanting him so badly, he began to drink in the desire without even trying. He was starved. He realized he could feed on a desire this strong all night. He hadn't even had to activate his empathic power. And he was so tired of being alone.
"Who's there? I feel you. I want to see you."
He continued drinking the lust that emanated from the dark alley. He couldn't have resisted even if he had wanted to.
"Come out. We can go to my apartment."
The shadows moved and the form of a man appeared. Boy 54 could tell he was well-dressed, a nice-looking middle-aged man positively swimming in lust. And this man would belong to Boy 54 tonight.
"Come over here. Touch me."
The stranger approached Boy 54 rapidly then. Boy felt the desire from the man, so strong now it felt like it was slapping him. Stabbing him. He had never felt such a strong surge before.
The stranger backed Boy 54 up against the alley wall. He touched his face, moved his rough hand across his cheeks, and then rested the hand on his neck. Boy 54 did not resist as the stranger pulled him in for a kiss. He was in a state of euphoria that he had denied himself for a dangerous length of time.
Such a powerful lust, stabbing at him, stabbing at him.
So high was Boy 54 from his feeding that he didn't realize he'd been cut until his arm brushed something warm and wet. He broke from the kiss and looked down. Red. As his eyes opened full in realization, the stranger's hand tightened around his throat. He used the full weight of his large body to pin Boy 54 to the wall as his free hand plunged, plunged, plunged the blade again and again.
Boy 54 tried to seize control of the man's mind, but his effort was futile. He was unable to stop the man's attack. The stranger whispered in his ear as he continued his brutality, "Surprised, little Boy? You pathetic, mind-controlling, lecherous sodomite! You can't control me. You can't make me want you more than I already do--- dead."
With everything turning black, Boy 54 whispered, "But I can't die."
"You don't age, fool, but all creatures can die."
The last sound to touch Boy 54's ears was a satisfied chuckling.
Minutes later, the shadowy man exited the alley, his grisly work done, his mission accomplished. It had been a most exciting experience for him. Most exciting and satisfying, indeed.
Posted by MLLASH on :
Roller Queen sipped her morning coffee, which isn't quite true because she never got up before noon. She looked at the newspaper half-interested. A headline caught her eye:
SECOND LMBE MEMBER FOUND DEAD
She yelped as she spilled coffee on her hand. She sat the cup aside and continued reading...
The enigmatic LMB Experience member known as Boy 54 was found murdered in an alleyway beside his apartment complex early this morning, police say.
Police reports state that he died from multiple stab wounds and strangulation.
Boy 54, an alleged homosexual, is the second member of the LMB Experience to be found dead in a week. Sunflower, the young woman with the ability to cast shadows and girlfriend of LMBE leader Acid Kid, was found dead in her apartment last week from an apparent suicide through drug overdose.
The LMB Experience has proven to be an embarassing blemish on the record of the Justice Society Message-Board, who officially renounced the group a few years after they sanctioned it.
Current public opinion favors the JSMB coming out of retirement and forcibly dissolving the sex and drug-addled antics allegedly perpetrated by the LMB Experience. As of this writing, not one member of the JSMB has stepped forward to...
Roller Queen wadded the paper up and hurled it across the room. "Bastards can't even get the f##king names right... RRRRRRH!"
Her anger quickly gave way to sorrow as the realization that Boy 54 was dead hit home. "Boy.." she wiped a tear from her face. "...I thought you would be the one to live forever."
Two of her friends were dead now. And there were friends she hadn't bothered to call in weeks. Months even. Well, that was going to change.
She pulled her list of phone numbers from underneath the phone, and stared at all the names.
"Belle... never really knew her so well... Aaron.... oh God, how is anyone gonna tell him about Boy54?... Frank... Heh. Maybe later... Kenny... nah, he's always stoned...
Torra. Girl, I've missed you. Let's see what you've been up to..."
She dialed the numbers beside the name Torra Robinson.
Posted by MLLASH on :
Acid Lad sat in Dr. Butz' office staring at the old photograph. It was, to the best of his knowledge, the last picture ever taken of the united Justice Society Message Board. Rumour had it, it was taken just before they disbanded following a witch-hunt by the Un-American Activities Committee in the 50s.
Legends such as The Loser, Lard Knight, the Green Miasma, Ultra-Lass, the Sub-Humanoid, Whip Lash, Doctor Mid-Day and the Lady Patriot were smiling up at him.
Even the enigmatic Phantom Ghost, War Rrren and The Concillator were there. And Flying Squirrel with Squirrely the Boy Rodent. Scrapper Man and Slugger, the Boy Battler... what in the world had ever become of them?
His thoughts were interrupted by Butz' voice... "Are you going to stare at the photograph all day, Lad, or are you going to talk to me about the recent tragedy?"
Acid Lad replied, "The 'recent tragedy' was beyond my ability to change. Boy 54 had been heading down a dark path for months. It caught up with him. I'll miss the kid, but he had been nothing but miserable for a while now."
Dr. Butz snorted, "You have changed, Lad. You haven't partaken of any drugs in your last two visits with me."
"I don't need 'em anymore, Doc. They don't take away the pain and I don't need the powers anymore. Let someone else try to save the world. Someone the world wants, like these guys..." Acid Lad waved the picture of the JSMB.
He then pulled a lighter from his pocket and lit the picture.
"What are you doing?"
"It began with this picture. The JSMB gave it to me when we formed the LMBE. Now it ends with it. I'm saying goodbye to a legacy. I'm saying goodbye to my failure to live up to it. I'm saying goodbye to you, doctor, and hello to me."
Acid Lad rose and exited the office. Dr. Butz stared at the picture burning in his ashtray. As the smiles of the gaudily-dressed men, women and boys turned black and fell to ash, he frowned.
Some doors, once opened, can never be closed, Lad. As you will learn all too soon.
[ October 15, 2005, 04:38 PM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
Rhinestone Cowboy watched a newscast from the sidewalk outside Yuwanna TV. This was how he had learned Boy 54's fate. He was startled by a familiar voice calling out behind him.
"Whatcha doing, honey-britches?"
He started walking and didn't acknowledge Roller Queen.
"That sure was s#itty what you did last week, walking out on Acid, on all of us. Not going to Sundown's funeral... it was s#itty and mean."
He continued to walk even though she had skated up alongside him, keeping pace with him.
"Yoou f##king ignorant redneck! You think you're made of stone. Don't need nobody anymore, huh? Well, don't be f##king calling me when they come after you!"
The Cowboy came to a dead stop. He turned to Roller Queen, targeting her with an exaggerated sneer. "They who, exactly?"
"Got your attention, huh?"
"Not really. Just wanna know who THEY are." He flailed his arms around in a mocking way. "Who do you think has balls enough to come after me? Hell, woman, I've beaten werewolves. I've faced down freaks three times my size! Now go on home. You and me are kaput, the LMBE is kaput. Just... leave me alone." He resumed walking at a quick pace.
Roller Queen called out to him, "We're TARGETS, RC! Sundown and Boy 54 weren't the first! Torra's dead!"
The Cowboy paused. "The Living Afro? She went back to California when she got knocked up."
"They... they scalped her, RC. Someone was strong enough to rip out that living hair of hers. I've been doing research..."
"REEEEEEEEsearch," he called back mockingly, "What, didya get a diploma from roller derby college?" He continued walking on, shaking his head and laughing.
Roller Queen held her head down in defeat. He was too hurt to listen to her. She had been stupid to come to him first. Acid would listen to what she had to say. He had to, if he valued his life.
Posted by MLLASH on :
Roller Queen barged into Acid Lad's apartment without knocking. "Acid? Acid, where are you?"
"Back here!"
She entered his bedroom and couldn't believe her eyes. "What do you think you're doing?"
"Packing. I'm leaving the city, Queenie. Decided I wanna see what country living is all about."
"Have you flipped your f##king lid? You're just running away!"
"Queenie, you have your Derby. Rhinestone has his obsessions. What do I have? Nothing. And no one. Not a thing. I'm leaving, no matter what you say."
"Don't bet on it." She reached into her equipment bag and pulled out a short stack of papers. "Check these out first." She threw the papers on the bed beside where he sat packing.
Intrigued, Acid Lad began rummaging through the papers. He almost instantly regretted it. "Jesus H. Christ!"
"Keep looking. It gets worse."
"My... GOD..."
"Thee's no way we can deny it, Acid. We're worm food if we split up."
Acid Lad put down the papers. "What about Rhinestone? Have you told him?"
"The damned asshole wouldn't even listen. He wouldn't give me a chance to--"
"We gotta go find him, NOW."
Posted by MLLASH on :
Rhinestone Cowboy was praying some punk would try to mug him. He wanted nothing more than to spot some hood trying to jack a car. Anything to get his mind off of--
What the hell did she mean, "targets"? Of course they were targets. Targets for every single criminal they had ever put down. Not that he had to worry about any of the criminal scum he encountered since Queenie had left him. He had made very sure of that.
Damn, it was if world peace had suddenly happened or something. Not a single misdeed tonight. Not even a wino peeing on the sidewalk.
What's the deal? S'like no one remembers how dangerous these streets are. People walking their dogs, joggers running unafraid, dressed up city-slickers taking a stroll...
"Hello, Rhinestone Cowboy."
The Cowboy was unprepared for that. The city slicker spoke to him. No one ever spoke to him, except the hookers. And the criminals, begging for mercy.
"Howdy."
"Slow night for you tonight, eh?"
The Cowboy immediately went on the defensive. "And what would you be meanin' by that, fella?"
"You know very well what I mean by that." The man swung. The punch connectly savagely and the Cowboy hit the pavement.
The Cowboy spit out blood and a tooth. As he stood, he said, "Mister, I wanna thank you. You just made my night."
"This isn't a game, fool." The second punch lifted Cowboy's feet from the ground and sent him flying backwards. He landed hard. He had never-- never-- been hit so hard. Not even by the werewolf Ruff Trade.
Though his vision had gotten a bit blurry, he saw the man advancing on where he lay. He also was aware that all the pedestrians had fled. He was alone.
He activated his power suit, planning to catch his breath while his attacker was blinded by its brilliance.
But the light had no effect. He snarled as he picked the Cowboy up by the collar of his shirt, "Light-diluting contacts, moron."
A third punch sent the Cowboy crashing to the pavement again.
He tried to fight the blackness. He couldn't pass out...
As his vision went dark, the last thing he saw through the haze was the maniacal grin of the stranger reaching for him again.
Posted by MLLASH on :
Roller Queen and Acid Lad kept a quick pace in their search for Rhinestone. They knew in what part of town they were most likely to find him.
As they watched, Acid Lad's thoughts were on the collection of papers, newsclippings and notes Queenie had given him.
Dead. Every last one of them were dead. Not even the most inconsequental, short-term member of the LMBE had been spared. For God's sake, Belle had been gutted like a fish. And Platform King-- Well, Acid Lad was actually relieved Boy 54 hadn't lived to find out how he had died.
Sure, most of them weren't very good heroes. Some of them weren't even very good people. But all of them had deserved better than that.
Their limited powers or goofy gadgets were unable to save them from whatever evil was stalking them. Then Acid Lad thought about his own eroding powers... and Roller Queen, who boasted only a paranormal balance ability.
"We should contact the JSMB."
Acid Lad was grateful for the distraction, and replied, "Don't even know how any more. When they cut us off, they just up and vanished. "Sides, most of 'em haven't seen any action in 20 years."
"You were the only one of us there from day one of the LMBE, Acid. What were they like, the JSMB?"
Acid Lad remembered. Several members of the JSMB donned cape and cowl a final time to attend the press conference announcing the launch of the LMB Experience.
"They were private. They all wore masks, something most of us never did. They were... REAL heroes. They were, y'know, just above us. Better. Been years since I've seen any of 'em. I just... dunno. Lotta water under the bridge since then."
The two continued the search in silence for a while, until Acid Lad spotted a familiar figure of a man walking toward them. A man he had never planned on seeing again.
Posted by MLLASH on :
"Dr. Butz?"
"Ah, Lad. Such a fine night for a stroll."
"In this part of town?"
"Yes, well. It's good enough for you, isn't it? I'm unafraid. I've studied self-defense techniques." Dr. Butz glanced at his watch. Acid Lad noticed his knuckles were badly scraped. "But I really must be moving along. Good to see you, Lad. And you, Miss...?"
"Queenie."
"Yes, of course. A pleasure to meet you. I'm sure I'll be seeing you both. Around." Without another word, Dr. Butz continued walking. More swiftly than he was before, Acid Lad noticed.
When he was out of earshot, Roller Queen asked, "Who's the hunk?"
"Please. He's too old for you. Anyway, he is... or was, really... my psychiatrist."
"WHAT?" She stared at him in disbelief.
"My shrink. I had to talk to somebody when things started to fall apart. No one else was around, or even wanted to be."
"You just... surprised me, that's all. Well, he's still a hunk."
They continued walking in silence a further.
"You know what I don't get?" Quenie said.
"What?"
"All those deaths... And none of this news ever came back to us? These were our friends. And we never knew."
"It's not like we bothered to keep in touch with them. Keep tabs on them. Is it?"
"I guess... I guess not. Not really."
"None of us really cared about each other. When they left te LMBE, they wanted it over. For good. All of them. They were saying goodbye to 'Belle Bottom', 'Frisbee Frank', 'Living Afro'. Just like..." Acid Lad paused there.
Queenie finished for him. "Just like you're saying goodbye to 'Acid Lad'."
"You got me there."
They were so engrossed in the conversation that they almost stepped on Rhinestone Cowboy's body.
Posted by MLLASH on :
Acid Lad finally managed to calm Roller Queen down, but the truth of the matter was, he wanted to scream his head off, to scream and never stop.
Rhinestone's face was an unrecognizable mass of blood and bruises. He had been beaten unmercifully before he died. Maybe even after.
As a final indignity, he had been stripped of his Stetson, boots, LMBE-signal bolo tie, and his power-jacket.
Queenie gasped as if she couldn't find her breath. Acid Lad said, "Queenie, we've got to notify the police..." She shook her head between gasps, agreeing.
"If I hadn't talked down to him... he might have listened to me... Acid, this is my fault..."
Acid pulled her close and said, "He was mad at you... at me... at the world..." He let himself trail off, finding his attempt at comfort both futile and ridiculous.
"Acid, we're all that's left. We're next."
He bent his head down a bit to look directly into her ice blue eyes. "That may be true, Queenie... but we ain't going down easy."
Posted by MLLASH on :
Hours later, Acid Lad found himself at Roller Queen's highrise apartment.
"Roller Derby must be paying pretty well."
"Oh, I get by okay." She had stopped crying after the police had arrived on the scene. She seemed to be heavy now with the onset of acceptance.
"You know, I admire your detective work."
"Yeah, the library sure didn't know what to think of me. Talking to Torra's granddaddy is what started the whole thing. He was the one who told me about her. He was still so hurt. And I could tell, even though he was very nice to me, I could sense that he blamed the LMBE..."
Uncomfortable silence for a moment, finally broken by her yelling, "WHO is doing this to us?!!? Acid, I checked... ALL of our major busts are still in prison or dead. Even the ones in the archives from before I joined. Who else would want to do this?"
"Could be a minor bust, Queenie... or some psycho with an imaginary grudge..."
Psycho. Acid Lad had thought himself to be going psycho when he first visited Dr. Butz. Dr. Butz... and his abused knuckles, and his being so close to the scene of Rhinestone's demise... Dr. Butz, whom Acid Lad had spent hours talking to about the LMB Experience... telling things, personal things he probably shouldn't have told...
"Uh oh."
"What?"
"Will you be okay here for a while? I need to go check on something."
"Are you f##king S#itting me? You are NOT leaving me here alone."
"I'd actually be relieved for you to join me. But listen, you got any drugs here?"
"Huh?"
"Weed, acid, coke, 'ludes? Anything at all? I have a feeling I'm going to need it."
"uuuh... you always acted pretty straight even when I knew you had to be f##ked up on all that s#it you were popping, Acid. but I really don't think now is the time for you to--"
He cut her off. "TRUST me, Queenie. C'mon now, I need something strong."
[ November 04, 2005, 12:56 AM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
Acid Lad and Roller Queen made haste through the night streets to Dr. Butz' office. Acid Lad had explained his unnerving suspicions en route.
The door to the building was locked at this late hour, but Acid Lad would not be denied entry. He braced himself to smash through the door, but stopped when Roller Queen giggled.
"Step aside, skinny-ass. I think this situation requires my tender touch." Roller Queen proceeded to pick the lock with a lockpick she pulled from her equipment bag. The door popped open. "Abandon all hope..."
"Not me, Queenie. C'mon."
They entered the building and proceeded to Butz' office through the darkened hallways.
Once inside, Acid Lad began rummaging through file cabinets.
"So what is it exactly we're looking for?"
"Not sure yet, Queenie. But I'll know it when I..."
"When you... what?"
"Find.... it..."
He pulled out the old photographs and examined them closer.
And it all started falling into place.
Posted by MLLASH on :
"Tell me this isn't real...!" Acid Lad continued to thumb through the cabinet that had captured his attention.
"Acid Lad, I swear to God I'm going to kick you in the head in about 5 seconds if you don't tell me WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING AT!!"
"Yes, lad..."
Both Acid Lad and Roller Queen yelped in fright and whirled around to see Dr. Butz in the entryway. "...DO share the information you have learned. Please do."
"You! You... I... never knew. Never knew in a million years..."
"Never knew what, Lad? I myself never knew alleged 'heroes' went about breaking and entering. Quite illegal."
Acid Lad laughed in astonishment. "You..." And then he began to tremble. "You couldn't have..."
"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!!?" Roller Queen screamed.
Dr. Butz ignored her, focusing his contemptuous smirk solely on Acid Lad. "You are quite right, Lad-- I couldn't have... alone. But you see, I had assistance."
Having had more than enough, Roller Queen grunted in fury and skated as full-tilt as the room would allow toward Dr. Butz, ready to bowl him over. Without taking his eyes off of Acid Lad, Dr. Butz swung his fist backhand into Queenie. The force of his blow combined with her own acceleration knocked her across the room into his floor-to-ceiling bookshelves. Wood and paper flew everywhere, and she hit the ground and did not stir.
"Queenie...!"
"Aaah... this is how I knew it would be. Through the years, I knew. I didn't know exactly how it would come to pass, only that it would come to pass. Everything happens for a reason, right, Lad? And there was a reason you walked through my door all those weeks ago. Oh, sweet, sweet symmetry!"
Tears welled up in Acid Lad's eyes. "WHY? You were... you were a hero!"
"Dear, dear Acid Lad. Many would say that I still am."
Dr. Butz advanced on Acid Lad, his fists clenched so tightly his scraped knuckles were snow white.
Posted by MLLASH on :
Acid Lad had no choice but to use his powers against Butz. There was no way he could match him on a physical level. Butz had at least a foot and 100 pounds of muscle over Acid Lad.
Acid hurled images of what Butz had once been full-force into his mind, in an attempt to mesmerize him into thinking he was back in those times.
Butz, enraged, smashed his fist into the side of Acid Lad's face. "You piece of trash! I thought you had given these powers up! You dare use them against me?!!?" Butz kicked Acid Lad in the stomach. "You unspeakable filth! I lived those moments! No drug-spawned image you could ever produce can recapture them!"
Acid Lad, now crouched on the floor and clutching his stomach, looked Butz square in the eye and laughed.
Butz, regaining control of himself, asked in a familiar soothing tone, "What is amusing you so, Lad? I certainly wouldn't be laughing if I were in your position."
Acid Lad laughed again and replied, "I was just wondering what in the hell Scrapper Man must have done to you all through the years to f##k you up so much.... Slugger."
Butz frowned and said, "Pray I don't do the same to you, Lad... before I kill you, that is."
Posted by MLLASH on :
Sensing that he had struck a nerve with Butz, Acid Lad struggled to rise. "Seriously, Slugger... I'll bet he beat you. I'll bet he raped you, too..."
"Do not play the part of the caring psychoanalyst with me, Lad... that's my job. Suffice it to say I endured every degredation that can be inflicted... every humiliation, both mental and physical. I was seven years old when I became Scrapper Man's ward and junior partner. Seven..." He trailed off.
"Damn..." Acid Lad whispered.
"Damn indeed, Lad. Life saw fit to damn me with dead parents and then twisted the knife when it placed me into the hands of a..." He trailed off again, for two heartbeats. "And then, the final humiliation... after all that I had endured... all that I had given to him... given up for him... I was passed over when the LMB Experience was formed. Passed over for the likes of you and your disgusting ilk..."
>>>BASH!<<<
Slugger, the former Boy Battler, was knocked forward and to the floor by the force of Roller Queen's body-smash. "F##king whiney-ass crybaby. No wonder you were passed over."
Acid Lad, still clutching his stomach, breathed a sigh of sweet relief. "Queenie, you kick ASS, baby."
Slugger, sprawled and breathing heavily, lifted his head and craned his neck to look at Roller Queen peripherally. "Score a point for you, my dear... but I think it's time you both met my ally."
[ November 12, 2005, 12:07 PM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
"ERIC! Make your presence known to these hoodlums in heroes clothing!"
The thing that shambled into the office from the darkened hallway was only slightly recognizeable as something that had once been three-quarters human.
Roller Queen shrieked in disgust and fear. Acid Lad could only stare in utter disbelief.
"May I introduce you to Eric Conners, children... you may have read about his 40s and 50s adventures as Squirrely, the Boy Rodent."
The beast snarled in rage at the mention of the name.
"Calm ourself, Eric, my friend. These ragamuffins figured me out and deserve an explanation before you rip the flesh from their bones... which I'll prepare for you medium-well, as you prefer." Slugger/Butz was pleased by the fear in the eyes of his captive audience. He took the opportunity to delve further into past events.
"The life I led was nothing like the life Eric had. No matter what else he may have done, Scrapper Man did care for me. He loved me, in his twisted way. He showered me with everything the vastness of his wealth could provide, and more. When the JSMB disbanded in the 50s, we traveled the world in all its beautiful, hideous glory..." Once again, Butz let his words linger, almost as if he were remembering fondly. The monstrosity named Eric Conners nudged him with his pink, hairy snout, smelling him.
This seemed to awaken Butz and he continued... "Eric, on the other hand, began to mutate even further as he aged. The Flying Squirrell was already unable to provide Eric a life outside his mansion as anything other than Squirrelly because of the mutations, but as Eric grew into his teens and beyond, his mutations only grew worse. Eric found himself chained in the basement beneath the Conners Estate... the Flying Squirrell simply shut him away."
The creature that had once been the Boy Rodent again snarled in outrage.
"ERIC...!" Butz raised his voice but stroked Eric's snout as well, which seemed to calm him. "A few years ago, I took... great pains to liberate my friend from the Flying Squirrell. And then Eric returned the favor, freeing me from Scrapper Man... at long last."
By now, Roller Queen's fear had somewhat abated. In fact, Butz and his giant pet looked almost comical to her. "Meaning you killed them, right, freak-O?"
Butz punched Roller Queen so hard, she fell to the ground unconscious. Acid Lad rose, ready to strike, but stopped short when the rat-creature named Eric let out a fierce shriek.
"That one has a mouth on her. Perhaps we should have eliminated her first." Butz turned from the still form of Roller Queen and locked eyes with Acid Lad. "Be happy for her, Lad. She won't even feel the horrors to come. You, on the other hand..." he let slip an evil smile. "It was so easy to track down the former members of the LMBE through the years. Simpletons, every last one of them. Aaaah, Eric and I would have so much fun with them. And once they were all finally gone, and it was time to take on the active team... oh, how I wondered what would be the best way to go about it." He started chuckling, which quickly turned into a demented laughter, "And then... you came... waltzing into my office that day... telling me everything I needed to know...." the insane laughter continued.
Acid Lad would have prayed for a miracle, but he thought angels would fear to set foot amidst such utter and complete insanity.
[ November 12, 2005, 12:48 PM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by Harbinger on :
This is fantasatic Lashie!!
This so so, so fantastic!! I really liked RC and Sunflower.. umm Ho-dowm.. Sundown, that's it Sundown! My absolue fave has to be that tough talking no nonsense late waking rocketeer the Roller Queen! I have to admit at being a wee bit jealous of how well you knit your stories together - setting the scene, introducing the characters, subplots, relationships - all in the most tongue-in-cheek hommage to a time of, shall we say less sophisticated tastes - and it's hilarious, alluring, engaging and pure class!
We really need more, more, more!!
<editted to say - no-one else has replied here - do you want me to delete this so you can give us the full run before we heap vast amounts of shameless praise at your feet?>
[ November 12, 2005, 03:37 PM: Message edited by: Harbinger ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
*is relieved someone is reading* Any and all comments welcome, 'Bingi-- and yours made my day. Wow.
edit: PS! This will be concluded THIS WEEKEND, barring the unforeseen.
[ November 14, 2005, 05:28 PM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
"Eric, my friend... dispose of the annoying harlot that dared to assault me. Make sure Acid Lad can get a full view. He only witnessed the aftermath of our dealings with Sundown, Boy 54 and Rhinestone Cowboy. Let him get a front row seat for the fun that awaits him."
"Sundown... YOU had something to do with Sundown...?"
"Silly boy, of course. I could have just slashed her to ribbons, but I decided I wanted you to see her for what she really was. Who do you think sold the desperate little druggie her final bag of heroin? She was on her way out anyway... I just speeded her along with a little additive I put in it. Thank you, by the way, for telling me where she lived. Your assistance was invaluable." Butz smirked evilly as Acid Lad looked like he was about to throw up. "Now, Eric-- do as I said!"
The rat thing lumbered toward where the unconscious Roller Queen lay... but before it could reach for her, it shrieked in a panic. It's tail thrashed about, knocking over furniture. It's misshappen arms scratched the air, as if trying to disembowel an invisible apparition.
"Eric! Calm yourself, Eric! Dispose of the--" Butz fell to the floor as the monstrosity's tail smashed into his legs as it flailed.
And when he looked up, Acid Lad stood above him. "Your f##king rat buddy is being haunted by visions of the Flying Squirrell right now, freak. You might be smart enough to see through my illusions, but it sure isn't!"
"He. He's a he."
Acid Lad kicked Butz in the face. "Well, HE ain't gonna be helping you now!" Another kick, in Butz' side.
For Acid Lad, the entire world disolved into two things: pound Butz ceaselessly... keep Squirrelly occupied... pound Butz ceaselessly... keep Squirrelly occupied... pound... pound... pound...
[ November 19, 2005, 10:44 AM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
pound
pound
pound
pound
pound
pound
...and the red rage that consumed Acid Lad gave way to black nothingness.
Posted by MLLASH on :
Sunlight was breaking through the window when Acid Lad awoke with a start, the ice cold water thrown by Roller Queen stinging his face.
"Queenie-- what...?"
"It's over, Acid-- they're both dead. You saved us!"
Acid Lad wiped the water from his face with his sleeve and took a look around him. Butz was a wet red mass of flesh. He remembered the pounding he had administered to Butz... but had he really gone that far? And the former Boy Rodent-- what had ripped it to shreds?
"Can't believe I slept through it all, Acid... but Butz hits hard." She rubbed her face, swollen on both sides. "Damn."
"Butz... yeah, I intended to... but the rat...?"
"What about it? Man, you are such a hero. The LMBE... you've avenged them all!" She hugged Acid Lad.
"Uh... yeah... listen, Queenie... Butz' secretary will get here soon and we don't wanna be here when she does..."
"Back to my place then... I sure don't wanna set foot back in your roach motel."
As the two staggered out of the office building and into the dawn, Acid Lad spared a look back.
What exactly had happened after he blacked out? Would he ever know? And most importantly... was bus ticket to Tennessee still valid?
Posted by MLLASH on :
15 Hours Later
The club was packed tonight, as if they all had felt his return. They gave their desire freely, each and every one ready to do whatever was required to keep him happy, to win his favor, to bask in his glow. To keep him alive.
Little did they suspect he owed his continued existence to their collective vague rememberances of him. He owed them his everything and he would do anything they desired of him tonight. They brought him back. He would make sure they all knew they were loved tonight. Loved forever.
Because dying was certainly something he never wanted to experience again, that was for sure.
He had almost arrived too late. But he tracked Roller Queen through the signal device she had never removed from her skates.
And he had found them, and recognized the one who had killed him instantly.
He had to put Acid Lad to sleep. The empathic flashes he caught from Acid of just what the killer and the creature had been responsible for screamed that vengeance would belong to him.
Vengeance for himself. Vengeance for Platform King. For all of them.
Boy 54 gestured into the throng of men and women, allowing the first five to approach him.
It was going to be a long night, but he was quite ready to drink in all of its delights.
. . . . . . .
THE END
acknowledgements
*The creative team of the much-too-short-lived CHASE comic.
*Our own Faraway Lad, and his wonderful Golden-Age LMB.
Posted by Harbinger on :
Bravo!!
Loving your work Mr Lash, absolutely loving it!
Bxx
Posted by MLLASH on :
Thanks for the comments 'Bingi. Hard to believe this was written FIVE years ago-- dang. Nothing was really changed; I just wanted to add more detail and rework some of the more awkward lines.
![[LOL]](graemlins/lol.gif)
I have to admit at being a wee bit jealous of how well you knit your stories together - setting the scene, introducing the characters, subplots, relationships - all in the most tongue-in-cheek hommage to a time of, shall we say less sophisticated tastes - and it's hilarious, alluring, engaging and pure class! ![[Love]](graemlins/love.gif)