posted
Lard Lad had been missing for months. He left without explanation and didn't even file for an official leave of absence.
He had just had his powers stolen in the wake of an attack by legendary LMB traitor Mordra, the Harlot. Mordra had seduced a number of male LMBers and somehow stolen their powers as a result. When her attempt to destroy Legion World was foiled by Stu, all the other LMBers's powers were restored except, mysteriously, for Lard Lad's. Though defeated, Mordra managed to escape. After a few days of conspicuous solitude after the attack, Lard Lad left Legion World on his personal cruiser and wasn't seen for what turned out to be over two years.
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Eventually, word of Lard Lad's absence reached the isolated planetoid which is the home of the monastery of the Lard Knights. The High Council of Lard Masters convened to discuss the matter.
The head of the council, "the Guru of Lard", Dom Deluise XXVII was very concerned about his star pupil. Not only were Lard Lad's whereabouts a concern, but the old master had felt a darkness slowly entering his pupil's aura even across the light years. And now, Dom was completely disconnected from him. Somehow, Lard Lad's connection to the Lardforce was now completely severed. And now he had left the LMB. What in the galaxies could his finest student be going through?
But the rest of the High Council's concerns were more about themselves and the organization. Lard Lad's legendary heroics with the LMB had brought the Lard Knights unprecedented prestige. Before Lard Lad, the Knights were seen, at best, as an obscure fringe cult. At worst, they were considered a joke.
As Lard Lad's reputation grew, so did that of the Lard Knights. Not only that, but the planetoid and its government received special status and recognition from the United Planets. This status included significant UP funding. And receiving full UP membership was believed to be on the horizon.
But the Council feared that their superstar's abandonment of the LMB would endanger all that. Even if Lard Lad returned, what good would he be without his powers? As much as Guru of Lard Dom Deluise XXVII pleaded with the others to search for Lard Lad and help him, all the other High Council members would talk about was sending another of their young knights to the LMB to fill his spot. Doing this would preserve their coveted prestige and aspirations. Guru or not, Dom had to heed the wishes of their otherwise unanimous decision.
This brings us to the young lady who would attempt to succeed the legendary Lard Lad in the LMB. Nakia M'Batu, Lard Lass.
Nakia's story would become the stuff legends are made of.
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Nakia was a perfect example of how different Lard Knights could be from one another:
Unlike Lard Lad, she was not obese. In fact she was a perfect female specimen, along the lines of an Olympic track star. Different Lard Knights can develop an affinity for the mystical field in different ways. Some, like Lard Lad, are mysteriously chosen by the Lardforce itself in what appear to be freak accidents. Others develop the affinity because of their own naturally-gained extreme obesity.
Still others become respondent to the energy through indirect means, like a non-smoker may develop lung cancer through exposure to secondhand smoke. Perhaps his parents were obese, or she was exposed to a stray blast of pure Lardforce as an innocent bystander to a battle in which the energy is wielded.
In Nakia's case, the Council determined the exposure occurred because her mother was a cosmetic surgeon. Apparently, all the liposuctioning her mother did to patients while Nakia was in utero triggered Nakia's affinity. (It would turn out, however, to be more complicated than that.)
So when Lard Lass would finally meet them, the LMB would meet a heroine that would shatter their preconceived notions of what Lard Knights are all about. And her powers would turn out to be much different from that of the LMB's missing co-founder.
posted
It may help to first examine Nakia's background. Hailing from an African nation called Wakanda, which itself existed on a parallel Earth, Nakia had a unique synthesis of science and spirituality characterize her upbringing. Wakanda was the singlemost advanced country technologically on her Earth, yet it never cast its belief in the spiritual world aside in progress's wake.
Wakanda's leader (religious and political) was passed down over generations and given the totemic title of "the Black Panther". Nakia was the daughter of the latest Black Panther and an American cosmetic surgeon. As the eldest child, Nakia was the heir apparent to the title and took her preparation for it very seriously. She gave herself over to the study of Wakandan religion as well as learning all aspects of Wakandan technology. Early on, many anticipated her to be one of the most promising Black Panthers since her ancestor T'Challa who lived a millenium ago.
But all future Black Panthers had to undergo a ritual rite of passage in order to officially be named the heir to the throne. And it was different for each generation.
For Nakia it was prophesied that she should enter a mystical portal in the Forbidden Jungle. She would emerge in a strange world. Her task was to become a great champion in this new world. When she had achieved her goal in an unspecified way that would satisfy the prophecy, a portal would manifest itself and return her home the rightful heir to the throne. The prophecy was clear that this would be a years-long task.
This was the most difficult Rite of Ascension ever recorded for a Black Panther heir in all of Wakandan history. It was clear to all Wakandans that this was because Nakia was destined for greatness like no other ruler before. The difficulty of the task was in direct proportion to the prestige of the destiny.
Nakia never hesitated or looked back when the time came to step through the portal.
posted
Nakia emerged on an Earth not entirely different from her own, but different nonetheless.
For one thing, this Earth did not have (and indeed never did have, she found) a nation called Wakanda. In fact the geography, now and historically, was bereft of any of the landmarks that helped define Wakanda on her Earth. Nakia found this disturbing, but continued on with her mission.
She decided that if it was her task to become a great champion here, then she would need to find out what kind of champions this Earth already had. Her inquiries lead her to a strange city that did not exist on her Earth. A city called Metropolis.
In this Metropolis was located a museum which was housed within the original base of a team of galactic heroes known as The Legion of Message Board Posters. Nakia wasn't sure exactly why, but she was drawn to this museum.
Particularly, the "Lard Lad" exhibit fascinated her. As a founder of this LMB, Lard Lad's exhibit was one of the very-most comprehensive among all the LMBers.
There was particular attention given to an energy field he commanded known as the "Lard Force". As she read the detailed analysis of the power Lard Lad commanded and his training background, Nakia suddenly knew the path she needed to follow with absolute certainty.
-------------------- "Suck it, depressos!"--M. Lash
From: The Underbelly of Society | Registered: Jul 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
You see, the source of Nakia's extraordinary physical prowess had always been a mystery to her family. Females had never manifested the enhanced physicality of the Black Panther throughout Wakandan history. They carried the trait to pass on to the next generation, but the lower testosterone levels females possess meant it would never be a dominant trait.
Nonetheless, Nakia had the physicality of an Olympic athlete from the time she hit puberty. Wakandan scientists examined her biochemistry thoroughly and determined that her inherited trait was as recessive within her as it had been among all of her female ancestors. They also found that she was no mutant nor had she inherited any powers from her mother.
The best Wakandan science could ascertain was that her body seemed responsive to an undefinable energy source. Moreover, this energy source apparently was from another dimension as it was completely untraceable within their own.
Ultimately, Wakandan society took her gifts at face value and was delighted that the latest female heir to the throne would be as physically gifted as she was intellectually.
And on the day that Nakia stood in the LMB Museum, she knew this Lard Force was the source of her gifts. She would journey to the Lard Monastery and learn everything she could about it...and herself in the process.
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Nakia gained quick acceptance into the monastery as the Lard Knight Order's High Council detected her affinity with the Lard Force, confirming her intuition had been correct.
In a move that shocked the Council, Lard Guru Dom Deluise XXVII decided to take Nakia on as his first squire since the monastery's most famous student had left nearly a decade ago. His accomplishments with Lard Lad lead to his being named Lard Guru, and Gurus typically never took on squires after taking the highest leadership role within the Order. But for reasons of his own, Dom insisted on training her.
Nakia excelled at every one of the physical and mental disciplines taught at the monastery. She earned top marks in hand-to-hand combat, swordsmanship and mastered every one of the martial arts taught there. She also was at the top of the class in critical thinking, meditation, problem solving and every other class designed to hone and measure mental accuity.
On the other hand, Nakia could not manifest even the simplest expressions of energy manipulation commonly used by Lard Knights. She couldn't teleport, manipulate fat cells, fire energy blasts--absolutely nothing along those lines.
For this reason, Nakia was considered a laughing stock among her peers, and even quietly (or not so quietly) among the Knights of the Council. But Dom was never disappointed in Nakia and contended that the Lard Force was showing signs of evolution in how it manifested in her. Repeatedly, he pointed out to the Council how her physical and mental accuity were completely without peer among whom the Council considered their elite squires. The Council barely hid their derision and quietly pondered whether Dom may need to be considered for impeachment proceedings. It seemed the glow from his success with Lard Lad was wearing off.
Then came the news of Lard Lad's disappearance, and soon, the decision to hold the tournament to determine who would succeed him in the LMB. All of the top Lard Squires would participate. Dom, still barely holding on to his position of power, insisted that Nakia be included.
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Indeed, Nakia was included, the Council feeling her inevitable quick exit would be the last nail in the coffin needed to oust Dom as Lard Guru.
They couldn't have been more wrong!
As the twentieth seed in the twenty-squire tournament, Nakia quickly made a statement by easily dispatching the top-seeded squire. And the trend continued through every subsequent round.
Though still completely unable to manifest any overt energy manipulation, she used her connection with the Lard Force to anticipate her opponents' attacks and react to them a second before they came. She would dodge an energy blast before it was fired. She could sense exactly where a teleporter would materialize and meet him with a roundhouse kick to the stomach before he could do anything. Efforts to manipulate her fat cells were fruitless because her body fat ratio was almost immeasurable.
Nakia effectively neutralized what was each of her opponents' advantage over her and reduced each fight to her intellect and physical prowess versus theirs. None could even approach her skills in those areas; therefore, no matchup lasted more than five minutes.
So at the end Nakia stood alone as Champion. As she helped her final opponent back to her feet, Nakia was met with thunderous applause. She had proven herself and won over the entire monastery, even the Council of Lard Knights, in the process.
Dom smiled from ear to ear and wept openly. Everyone assumed this was from his feeling validated by his faith in her. They were only partly right.
Moments after she stood victorious, Dom made his way to the center of the arena. Nakia knelt before him and was dubbed a Knight of the Order with taps on either shoulder from Dom's jewel-encrusted sword.
The very next day "Lard Lass" departed the planetoid en route to Legion World.
quote:Originally posted by LardLad: When her attempt to destroy Legion World was foiled by Stu...
Cool! And I don't even remember doing it!
Link to a summary of what this refers to. This is the Prologue to Part One of a two-part Onevision I wrote called "Turning Point". "Turning Point" as a whole is probably the biggest bit of character definition I've ever done on Lard Lad! And it's informed everything that's happened since with the character!
Edit: Oops--Stu's mention is in the post after the Prologue here. It's a brief mention, but he saved the day!
{BTW, the events in the Prologue itself were a reworking of some scenes I contributed to a tagteam. Originally, the villainess "Mordra" was actually written in as Carrina Winters (remember her? )! Some posters correctly thought that wasn't a great idea, so I made Mordra the sister of another classic LMBP villain.}
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Lard Lass arrived on Legion World in time for the try-out appointment the Order had made for her. The LMB had a hard-and-fast rule that no one could be appointed to the LMB by any exterior body. If any sovereign authority the U.P. recognized wished to have someone considered, that potential LMBer would have to try out like any other applicant. Being that this particular applicant was, at least symbolically, attempting to take the place of one of its most revered members, Nakia was given a private session.
The three LMBers who insisted on judging this applicant's worthiness were the three who had been closest to Lard Lad himself over the years: Cobalt Kid, Loser Lad and Faraway Lad. Understandably, they didn't like the prospect of someone taking their friend's place one bit. If this 'Lard Lass' were to be inducted, she'd better be really good!
The challenge they'd set for her was that she would have to face all three of them at the same time in a small arena. If she could last five minutes without any of them removing her from the arena's boundaries, she would pass the test and be inducted into the LMB.
Nakia smiled softly to herself and remembered how none of her foes in the tournament were able to last five minutes against her. She asked for and was granted a few minutes to meditate. As she did, she went over all the research she had done on all active LMBers on the way to Legion World and formed a strategy.
As the test began, Loser Lad stepped forward as the other two hung back, just as Nakia had predicted from battle strategies the LMB had used in the past. He shaped the index finger and thumb in an "L" shape and brought it to his forehead. A purple energy came forth in a wide swath towards her which she knew was his so-called "Loser Energy". Instead of trying to somehow dodge it, she stepped forward right into it.
Loser was shocked to see her do this and watched in disbelief as she began to shake and fall to her knees. He couldn't believe the Order of the Lard Knights had sent such an inept champion. He walked toward her, still letting his Loser Energy bathe her as she was now coiled in the fetal position.
He was just about to remove his hand when suddenly, Nakia leapt to her feet, grabbed him by the neck from behind him and used her right hand to grasp his right wrist firmly and keep that hand pressed against his forehead. While he was too stunned to disengage his energy flow, she whirled him around and let his energy bathe the other two as they rushed to Loser's aid.
Cobalt, flying when the energy hit, fell hard to the floor and landed on his backside.
Faraway, about to teleport himself behind her, instead materialized in Princess Crujectra's bedroom in Legionnopolis as she was disrobing for a shower. Faraway apologized profusely to the enraged royal, then teleported again to rejoin the fray. Unfortunately, still under the influence of Loser's energy, he reappeared on Weber's World!
Back at the arena, Loser's beam finally disengaged as he fell unconscious from the increased pressure of Nakia's bearhug.
This left only her and Cobalt, who was struggling to fight the effects of the Loser Energy. Four and a half minutes, Nakia noted.
Too dizzy to mount a focussed attack, Cobalt lashed out randomly and hurled any loose metallic projectile he could sense with his magnetism in all directions. Nakia dodged all that came near her. Cobalt, however, wasn't so fortunate as one of his own projectiles knocked his legs from under him. All the objects fell to the ground as his concentration broke.
And the five minutes was over.
Soon, Faraway Lad managed to return, Loser Lad woke up and Cobalt Kid limped to his feet.
Wearily, but with admiration, Cobalt told Nakia she was in.
Bewildered, Loser asked her how she overcame the effects of his power.
Smiling, Nakia explained to them that focus was the key. As she had meditated and considered her strategy, she surmised that being mentally focussed on what she needed to do would be enough to counter the effects. If her mind was sharp enough, there'd be no 'loser' in her for him to exploit. She'd feigned being under its influence to draw him closer and execute the rest of her plan.
And so, the next day, 'Lard Lass' was made the latest LMBer. As she was being inducted, Nakia wondered how close she now was to fulfilling her destiny and finally...finally returning to Wakanda.
Hyperpath: Email this page to someone!
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)! Some posters correctly thought that wasn't a great idea, so I made Mordra the sister of another classic LMBP villain.}
