posted
Eryk Davis Ester, Abin Quank and Dev-Em watched on as Miss Terious joined them at Cafe Cramer.
"Nice coconuts," said Abin, about Miss Terious' coconut salad that she was eating for lunch.
"Poppin' Planets!" yelled EDE suddenly!
They all turned to look and saw the largest space craft they'd ever laid eyes on, floating directly over Legion World's capitol city Legionnopolis!
"Jeepers, what's that?!" yelled EDE.
"I don't know," replied Dev-Em, but it's firing a large laser cannon at us...
[ August 11, 2004, 10:34 AM: Message edited by: Cobalt Kid ]
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Eryk Davis Ester
Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
posted
"It appears to gigantic space craft," said EDE's pet Luck Lord, who mysteriously appeared.
"Well, I don't know why you just appeared to tell me that, but... jeepers! Can't you do something about it?" EDE replied.
Just then a passing comet passed in front of the laser beam. The comet exploded, and a massive amount of comet dust feel down towards Legion World. Fortunately, most of it burned up in the atmosphere, but some of it landed on...
From: Liberty City | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
Globe Girl's cleavage. Seeing as it was still hot Glode Girl, understandably, squeaked loudly and began running around waving her impressive bazongas in front of her and trying to blow down her own front. Eventually she had to resort to peeling off her top to try and get to the hot little lumps of rock nestling between her own hot huge lumps.
At the same time Lard Lad and Cobalt Kid were supposed to be on monitor duty. unfortunately for all concerned all they were actually monitoring was Globe Girl and their own... ahem... trouser missiles which were threatening to cause a natural disaster in their pants. Because of this neither of them noticed what was happening on another screen until it was far too late, and even when they did neither was actually able to stand up without embaressing themselves so the alert was delayed even longer.
This was a shame because...
-------------------- Truth and Justice shall Prevail! (Unless Tamper Lad Screws it up...)
From: Manchester, UK | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
...on the other monitor board, Lucien Lad was explaining to Umber how gold plated accessories were sooo out of season right now, when suddenly a gigantic alien gorilla with four arms appeared and attacked!
"Ick!" screamed Umber, as Lucien Lad adjusted to such a stupid sight.
"Wait!" yelled a voice, and Lucien turned to see Loser Lad and Lash Lad running towards them. "That beast doesn't know what he's doing! It's not really a gigantic alien gorilla with four arms, it's..."
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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-------------------- Truth and Justice shall Prevail! (Unless Tamper Lad Screws it up...)
From: Manchester, UK | Registered: Jul 2003
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Eryk Davis Ester
Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
posted
...suddenly, everyone in the monitor room became perfectly still! I was as though time had frozen in that area!
Meanwhile, EDE, Abin Quank, and Dev-Em were trying to figure out what to do about that giant spaceship. Some strange luck had prevented it's first laser blast from striking Legion World, but it was not beyond the range of possibility that the laser cannon could be fired more than once. Abin Quank and Dev-Em, both of whom had powers that would allow them to fly into space unaided, quickly went to intercept the ship. Meanwhile, EDE...
From: Liberty City | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
Meanwhile EDE and Miss Terious (who was also with them), decided to eat Abin Quank and Dev-Em's food, since they left it unattended.
"Not so fast!" said a voice from behind them! "You're both needed right now! My name is the Monitor and--"
BLAM!
Suddenly, the Monitor was blasted from behind and his body was shred in half! EDE and Miss Terious watched on horrified, as his killer stepped out of the shadows, being none other than...
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Eryk Davis Ester
Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
posted
the Monitor!
"Huh?" EDE questioned.
"I'm confused," Miss Terioius continued. "How did you just shoot yourself?"
"I didn't! That was an evil Durlan impersonating me!" the Monitor replied.
"Oh, that makes sense," Miss Terious says.
"But... wait..." EDE says, thinking. "If that was an evil Durlan, why didn't he revert to his natural form when you shot him?"
"Oh... good point. I guess that means I must be the evil Durlan!" the "Monitor" says, changing form.
"*Gasp*!" Miss Terious gasps!
Just then someone else approached from behind the mysterious evil Durlan. It was...
From: Liberty City | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
It was...Loser Lad, who smashed a bottle of whiskey on the Durlans head! As the whiskey burnt the Durlans skin, it squealed "Not whiskey! Whiskey is like acid to Durlans..."
"Huh, whazzat?" said a drunk Loser Lad.
"Wait, so what was the monitor trying to warn us about?" said Miss Terious. "And why did the Durlan kill him?!"
"I don't know," said EDE, "but what is this?" EDE picked up a piece of parchment with a bright green square on it. "The Light Square? Is this some sort of underground secret cult/society that plans on conquering Earth, Legion World and the whole UP?!"
"That's exactly what it is," said yet another voice. "Lucky for you, I'm..."
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Cher, and I'm here to help. You see, once I sang 'If I could Turn Back Time' but now, with the advances in plastic surgery and my amazing ability to still be fabulous after a thousand years I *can* turn back time. But first I'll need at least six wigs, ten changes of costume and some hunky half naked backing dancers."
-------------------- Truth and Justice shall Prevail! (Unless Tamper Lad Screws it up...)
From: Manchester, UK | Registered: Jul 2003
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Eryk Davis Ester
Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
posted
"Jeepers!" EDE exclaims. "Where are we going to find six wigs and ten changes of clothing?"
Just then EDE's pet Luck Lord appears once more and reminds him, "Why don't you try that old trunk in your quarters where you keep all your old disguises you used to use when you were known as Boy of 1000 Faces?"
"Good idea, pet Luck Lord!" EDE exclaims.
So Cher, Miss Terious, and EDE all went to EDE's quarters to obtain his "Boy of 1000 Faces" disguises.
But on their way they ran into...
From: Liberty City | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
Loser Lad, who smashed a bottle of whiskey over Cher's head.
"Jeepers, Lou!" cried EDE. "Why did you do that? She said she was here to help".
"huhwassat?!?" said Loser Lad, who promptly fell to the floor.
"Sorry about that folks," said Cobalt Kid, as he turned into the hallway. "He gets a little surly when he's had a few. Now grab his legs. We can ditch him in EDE's trunk".
Cobalt grabbed Loser Lad's arms and EDE grabbed his legs as Miss Terious helped Cher back to her feet. Luckily the Night Girl beehive wig she was wearing cushioned the blow from the bottle, so she was able to carry on.
They entered EDE's room and propped Loser Lad against the bed. EDE dragged the trunk out of his closet and used a crowbar to snap open the rusted lock. Then with a creak from the worn hinges he threw open the lid of the trunk only to find...
-------------------- The LMB Archives
From: The Loser Cave | Registered: Jul 2003
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Only, of course, it wasn't the real Dolly Parton, just the hard-light hologramatic representation of the LMBP computer programmed by Lucien Lad and Lash Lad some time earlier.
"Quick" she said "Everyone into this trunk, which may look too samll for all of us but actually has a dimensional prtal in the bottom which allows us to al fit in with enough room to spare for all the wigs that Cher and I will be needing. I have something very important to tell you...
-------------------- Truth and Justice shall Prevail! (Unless Tamper Lad Screws it up...)
From: Manchester, UK | Registered: Jul 2003
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"Sounds yummy!" said EDE, as Miss Terious, Cher, Dolly Parton/Computer, a very drunk Loser Lad and he leaped into the trunk and through the portal. "But when did my trunk become a portal to another dimension?"
"I'll tell you why," said a voice, as they came through the other side to see Faraway Lad, Fat Cramer and a gigantic Hostess Fruit Pie (which was the size of a three story building).
"This is the great Giant Hostess Fruit Pie Diety, and the invaders are trying to capture it!" said the Computer/Dolly Parton. "Even more," she added, "we now know that...
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
"We now know that...after centuries, Hostess Fruit Pies are just as resilient to aging as Twinkies are!" Dolly Parton informs the gathered LMB members. "A giant, invulnerable specimen such as this is precisely what the invaders want!"
"The Giant Hostess Fruit Pie Diety has been entrusted to Legion World for safe-keeping! We can't fail in this important task." Fat Cramer declares to her friends.
"Someone better make sure our drunken comrade doesn't take a bite out of the Pie Deity, then!" EDE considered, looking to Loser Lad.
"I'll watch Loser Lad and the Giant Fruit Pie! I can take them to someplace faraway, if need be, but what're the rest of you up to?" Faraway Lad asked.
"Why, the very reason we came to the trunk!" EDE announced, moving through the assorted wigs and costumes covering the endless ground. "To find Cher her little...well...outfits!"
Cher excitedly helps herself to several things along the ground. Miss Terious joins in, "I better find a little number to change into too. Can't have any fruit pie getting spilled on my new outfit!"
The Dolly Parton/Computer projection suddenly froze, panicked. "You must hurry! I'm sensing that the invaders have landed in their quest for the Giant Hostess Fruit Pie and have attacked, of all places...
Registered: Jul 2003
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