Eryk Davis Ester
Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
posted
The Trumpeter's only regret was that his arch-nemesis, Lash Lad, had resigned from the Society of Message Board Posters after marrying his long-time girlfriend, Linda Lake, who'd enjoyed a brief heroic career as Strechable Lass after accidentally consuming her scientist father's super-elastic fluid. Nonetheless, his revenge would be sweet. He'd called together a number of the greatest enemies of the SMB, and put together a plan that would allow them, together, to finally conquer the universe. Or maybe two universes, if Thora's theory was correct.
He and Thora were sitting in the planning room when in walked another member of the villainous cadre he was putting together. "Thora," the Trumpeter says, "I'd like to introduce you to..."
From: Liberty City | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
...Golden Shower, the famous super-villianess and arch nemesis of Outdoor Miner. Her powers over the weather will come in handy when we finally destroy our enemies."
As Thora greeted her new ally in this terrible Axis of Evil, she reflected on all that the Trumpeter had accomplished that could make this plan work. They had discovered another universe, one that somehow could be accessed via some strange plan, centered on...
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Eryk Davis Ester
Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
posted
...the Emerald Outfit of Ek'ron! Bits of Ek'ron's clothing had for years plagued the members of the SMB, and as they had been defeated one by one, from the Emerald Boxer Shorts to the Emerald Bow Tie of Ek'ron, they were collected in the SMB Museum. According to the Trumpeter's sources, only one article of clothing remained unaccounted for: the Emerald Nelly Cap of Ek'ron!
The information provided by Thora had led him to deduce that the Emerald Nelly Cap of Ek'ron had been sent back in time to an alternate universe several years previously alongside the daughter of Thora and SMBer Cobalt Kid. By gaining possession of the rest of the Emerald Outfit, they could home in on the Emerald Nelly Cap in the alternate universe and link the two universes together using...
[ May 23, 2004, 03:09 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
From: Liberty City | Registered: Jul 2003
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Faraway Lad
Senator of the UP. Permanent Ambassador to the Court of Saint James
posted
Faraway Lad. Somehow the Faraway Power was linked to all the transdimensional portals ever discovered. In order to entrap Faraway who could be some what difficult to find (on account of always being far away)Thora had recruited...
-------------------- Faithfull
From: Newcastle upon Tyne England | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
...the Super Bartender of Space! Knowing full well that Faraway Lad's weakness was glasses of port and thick dark beers, Thora knew that the Super Bartender of Space, recentley released from prison could easily track down the SMBer Faraway Lad so they could link to Earth-1 and find the Emerald Nelly Cap of Ek'ron.
Thora sighed, thinking about how her daughter, Amber, had been sent to Earth-1 over a decade into the past. Amber, the product of a torrid love affair with the SMBer Cobalt Kid, now lived in this strange universe, and could possibly still be in the vicinity of the Emerald Nelly Cap of Ek'ron.
The Trumpeter, Golden Shower and Thora watched on as the Super Bartender of Space was given the oppurtunity to join them in their evil quest! Tracking him down and offering him membership to their axis of Evil was...
[ May 23, 2004, 02:23 PM: Message edited by: Cobalt Kid ]
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Eryk Davis Ester
Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
posted
The Stalker! Arch-nemesis of SMBer Atypical Lass, the Stalker had used his super-stalking powers to locate the Super-Bartender of Space's current whereabouts. Since, per his parole agreement, SBoS was not allowed anywhere near alcoholic beverages, he had found employment since his release as a milkman.
This was of course all part of his intricate plan to spike the milk of important Allied Planets officials before the big upcoming summit meeting, but when he heard about this new scheme, he promptly abandoned his own ambitions and signed up with the Axis of Evil! But only on the condition that they also recruit...
[ May 23, 2004, 04:41 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
From: Liberty City | Registered: Jul 2003
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The former SMBer was perhaps the most dangerous villian of all on the entire planet, and had impressed SBoS so greatly that he knew they must get him to join.
The only problem was that Lard Lord was a loose cannon, and could not be controlled. His history was legendary on this Earth, and the Stalker questioned SBoS's idea of making Lard Lord a recruit.
For years, Lard Lord was a guiding light of the SMB as Lard Lad. Then one day, he just seemed to snap, killing his fellow LMBers Cobalt Kid and Loser Lad by decapitating them in front of his fellow SMBers. It was the worst day in the history of the SMB, although for SBoS and other super-villians, it was possibly the best.
The Stalker, however, knew differently. Thora, the lover of Cobalt Kid, despite their allegiances to differing sides of good and evil, never forgave Lard Lord for killing the man she loved. She swore vengeance, and would never acquiesce to this condition. Still, they needed the Super Bartender of Space to track down and weaken Faraway Lad to set their plans into motion, so adding Lard Lord to the team would have to be a necessary addition.
It would be up to the Trumpeter to make the peace. However, the Stalker knew that the Trumpeter had another ally in his Axis of Evil that might make things go a little smoother, who was none other than...
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Glamour Puss, also known to his 'friends' (they used the term loosly) as Lucien. Wielder of the power of the mysterious Glam-force Glamour Puss was a notorious villain who had plagued the SMB on a number of occasions, once even being inducted as a member of the SMB before being found out in the nick of time. His attack that time however had left SMBer Beagle Boy scarred for life, making him Glamour Puss's arch nemesis. The Trumpeter hoped that having Glamour Puss on board might help form a truce between Thora and Lard Lord since he had worked with both villains in the past and was famous for his ability to charm and cajole people. All being well Glmaour Puss would be able to create the sense of unity within his team that the Trumpeter so badly needed.
The Trumpeter and Glamour Puss were sat in a corner booth of the infamous dive the Hootchy Hut, hang-out of the worst scum of the universe, waiting for the rest of the Axis of Evil to turn up when...
-------------------- Truth and Justice shall Prevail! (Unless Tamper Lad Screws it up...)
From: Manchester, UK | Registered: Jul 2003
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Eryk Davis Ester
Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe!
posted
...in walked SMBers Salad-Tosser Lad, Invisible Brainiac, and Portfolio Girl. They were in disguise, but Glamour Puss quickly recongized them because...
From: Liberty City | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
...because he recognized a small tatoo of Dolly Parton on the inside of Salad Tosser Lad's arm! When Glamour Puss had infiltrated the SMB years earlier, he humiliated half of it's membership by branding them with Dolly Parton tatoos on their arms, to remind them of their failure! Although many had them removed, Salad Tosser Lad, an upcoming SMBer superstar, kept his as a reminder of his failure to recognize the SMB traitor.
"Quick Trumpter," said Glamour Puss, "we have to be discreet, the SMB is here!"
"I don't know about that..." said the Trumpeter, as he watched the new arrivals enter the Hootchy Hut.
"Gasp!" shrieked Portfolio Girl, as she turned to see the Stalker, the Super Bartender of Space and Lard Lord walk in. Lard Lord smiled, instantly recognizing the three SMBers.
"It's about to hit the fan..." thought Invisible Brainiac, as he...
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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My head hurts! And just as I was mastering the LMB roster
You can write me in as a villain if you like. I don't have the stamina to do it!
{/Interlude OFF}
From: Starhaven Consulate, City of Angels | Registered: Jul 2003
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Faraway Lad
Senator of the UP. Permanent Ambassador to the Court of Saint James
posted
Meanwhile faraway in a sector of the galaxy faraway from all other life forms, Faraway Lad sat in a comfortable armchair in front of a roaring coal fire sipping a glass of Port after a fine dinner.
“You know” he said to a figure sitting in a chair but half hidden in the shadows “When I was on my way I had a strange feeling that I was being, well, to be honest I was going to say followed but it was more intense than that, almost a, I don’t know, a stalking”
“do you think they followed you all the way here” said the mysterious figure.
“no” answered FL, “ the feeling ended long before I got here, but it has made me feel uneasy. Maybe I should notify the SMB?
“No” said the figure “ if you do that they will only ask you to……..
-------------------- Faithfull
From: Newcastle upon Tyne England | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
...to rejoin the team for the hundredth time. As we decided long ago Far, you and I must never rejoin the SMB, or else the guilt of what we did will drive us crazy."
"Yes," replied Faraway Lad, "you're right. I stand by our decision, but it had to be done. Still, I'm worried about this feeling..."
----------
Meanwhile, Portfolio Girl, Salad Tosser Lad and Invisible Brainiac watched in horror as Lard Lord, the Stalker and the Super Bartender of Space walked into the Hootchy Hut.
Grinning with an evil smile, Lard Lord held his hand up to Invisible Brainiac!
"No!" yelled the Trumpeter! Knowing full-well that the SMB must not be alerted to their presence yet, he turned to Glamour Puss, who teleported Lard Lord, the Stalker, the SBoS, himself, and the Trumpeter away, taking Invisible Brainiac and Salad Tosser Lad with them!
As Portfolio Girl desperately climbed out of her hiding spot, she knew she had to alert the other SMBers...
The villianous group reappeared, rejoining Thora and Golden Shower, only to learn that...
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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Faraway Lad
Senator of the UP. Permanent Ambassador to the Court of Saint James
posted
Thora and Golden shower were having some, erm, well lets just call it recreation time. In fact they were having a very naked recreation time.
Ooooppppps sorry said Glamour Puss, wrong room.
And with that they were all teleported away again, well all except Invisible Brainiac who just stood there open mouthed.
The remaining villains reappeared at .....
-------------------- Faithfull
From: Newcastle upon Tyne England | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
...the Trumpeter's labaratory! "We'd we leave there?!" said SBoS suddenly! "I was enjoying that!"
"I'm sure you were," said the Trumpeter, but Thora would have your head if she knew you just saw her and Golden Shower in a-"
"Enough," said Lard Lord, which shocked them all. Surely, he of all people would want to witness a lesbian orgy. "What is it you want?"
"We want this!" yelled the Trumpeter, pointing to the view-screen that adorned his lab's wall. On it, was a picture of Earth.
"Earth? Ha! Take it!" yelled Lard Lord.
"No, my friend, you misunderstand. This isn't our Earth. It's another one, and we have a plan that you might like."
"Tell me more..." said Lard Lord. ----------
As Glamour Puss tied up Salad Tosser Lad tightly, something he always enjoyed, the Stalker and the SBoS made their way in search of Faraway Lad, to use him to get to Earth-1.
Meanwhile, across space, Portfolio Girl desperately tried to contact the other SMBers, when suddenly...
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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