ISSUE ONE PLOT SUMMARY Senator Flem is the latest in a long line of Senators from Tenz's home district to be assassinated. Agent Spiffany delivers the message to Tenz's home that he has been drafted to run for office. While normally anyone would be crazy to run for a position with such a high mortality rate, Tenz figures anything has to be better than continuing to live at home with his crazy family, so he sets out to get the job, with the aid of his best friend from childhood turned campaign manager, Taryn Loy. They easily win the election thanks to Taryn's masterful campaign. It's not long before the first asssasination attempt of Tenz occurs, but he and Taryn manage to thwart and capture the would-be assassins. After interrogation, they find out that these guys were hired by Prince Evillo of Tartarus, so Tenz gets himself appointed liason to Tartarus to investigate. At the end of the issue, he finds that Agent Spiffany has used his rich father's influence to get himself re-assigned as an aid to Senator Kem. Tenz, Taryn, and Lester depart for Tartarus.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
EDITOR'S COMMENTS ON SUMMARY, PLUS 1ST DRAFT OF FIRST FIVE PAGES
Do you really want me to be serious? You won't like me when I'm serious.
OK, go this way and you're abandoning the great pre-boot concept of Bismollian politics: the draft. I'd rather see Tenz get drafted but have it be the first-ever mistake by the draft system - they called one too many. (And Tenz gets there last because his beat-up cruiser broke down.) So the sheepish president or senate head or whomever comes up with the hastily-created "Senator At Large" position (which either Tenz or Cal will rename "Substitute Senator"). And on the way home, the cruiser breaks down again, and they are given a ride by... guess?
(And Lash, the whippin' thing is creepy. How about showing the Kems getting excited about the supposed wealth and status a Senator in the family would bring - even if that isn't quite true for an actual Bismoll senator.)
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
FIRST DRAFT OF PAGES 1-5
ISSUE 1, page 1...
Full-page splash City-shot...
caption: It was a dark and stormy night... ON BISMOLL!
page 2 panel 1: caption: Suddenly a shot rang out...ON BISMOLL!
(scene shows current senator being assassinated!)
bodygaurd 1: "Senator Flem-- He's been SHOT!"
bodygaurd 2: "Again!"
bodygaurd 3: "But this time its serious... he's DEAD!"
Page 3: Full-page splash of Tenzil at home-- title: "ELECTION DAY!"
Page 4 (follows full-page splash of Tenzil at home in kitchen cooking):
Panel 1: Mom! I can't find the seasoned rusty screws! I asked you to pick some up at the Grocery-a-Tron!
Panel 2: (from bedroom, lying down looking all sickly) Oh, Tenzil! You KNOW how nervous I am! I can't possibly be expected to do EVERYTHING around here!!
Panel 3: Uh, Mom, *I* do all the cooking and cleaning.
Panel 4: (Dad & Renkil enter kitchen) LAY OFF yer Ma, brat! Why can't you be more like yer brother Renkil? (Renkil has shit-eating grin) Ever since the LEGION disbanded, you've been mooching off us!
Panel 5: Uh, Dad, you guys got 90% of every check I made as Legion chef. And I'm the only one under this roof who has a job now!
Panel 6: Don't sass-talk me, Son! You ain't got so big that I can't bend you over my knee for a bare-assed whippin'!!!
Panel 7: (Tenzil, to self) Yeah, you'd like that, you Silverale freak!
Page 5
Panel 1: And take off them dad-blasted fruity lookin' SUNGLASSES, boy! You ain't no Bismollywood Star!
Panel 2: Shut UP, Dad!
Panel 3: Thassit! When you're under MY ROOF, you don't DISRESPECT me, boy! (unbuckles belt) Now drop them pants, it's whippin'-time!
Panel 4: **knock on door**
Panel 5: (Tenzil) Well, geez, don't EVERYONE rush to answer it at ONCE!
Panel 6: **Tenz opens door to reveal government official**
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
SECOND DRAFT OF PAGES 1-3
MATTER-EATER LAD #1
PAGE ONE
Caption: It was a dark and stormy night... ON BISMOLL!
Full-page splash of Bismoll's capital city, focusing in on a whorehouse where a murder is about to take place... A mysterious trenchcoated figure can be seen entering the whorehouse...
PAGE TWO
Panel One: Caption: Suddenly a shot rang out... ON BISMOLL! --Shows hand of trenchcoated figure firing a gun...
Panel Two: --Body of senator shown with scantily clad screaming woman
Panel Three: Official #1 (on portable vid-phone): "We have a problem... Senator Flem has been shot..."
Panel Four: Offical #2 (on portable vid-phone): "Again?"
Panel Five: Official #3 (on portable vid-phone): "That's the fifth time this month!"
Panel Six: Official #1 (on portable vid-phone): "But this time it's serious... he's dead!"
Panel Seven: Official #2 (on portable vid-phone): *gasp*
Panel Eight: Official #3 (on portable vid-phone): "We'll have to hold a lottery..."
PAGE THREE Splash Panel: Tenzil at home doing clearly doing several household chores (including cooking and vacuuming) simultaneously...
TITLE: "GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO EAT!"
GALCYC ENTRY ON BISMOLL: [explains what the hell Bismoll is... need to make this accessible, you know...]
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE FOUR SECOND DRAFT
PAGE FOUR
Panel 1 Tenzil (in kitchen): Hey mom? Did you picked up the rust-flavored screws at the Ultra-Megamart like I asked you to?
Panel 2: Mrs. Kem (in bedroom, lying down looking all sickly): Oh, Tenz! I didn't feel like going today. You know how my nerves are...!!
Panel 3 Tenzil (continuing cleaning as he puts on his coat): That's okay, mom. I'll run out and pick some up at at the corner store.
Panel 4 Mr. Kem (enters house, drunk, silverale in hand): Where the hell you goin' boy? Out spendin' my hard earned cash again? You've been moochin' off us since the Legion disbanded, and I ain't gonna put up with it much longer...
Panel 5 Tenz: Uh, Dad, you guys got 90% of every check I made as Legion chef. And I'm the only one under this roof who has a job now!
Panel 6 Mr. Kem: Don't sass-talk me, boy! You ain't got so big that I can't bend you over my knee for a bare-assed whippin'!!!
Panel 8 Mr. Kem: My boy's makin' me proud down down at the racetrack! He's hit upon a sure thing this time!
Panel 9 Tenz: That's what you guys have been saying for the past three months! And you keep losing!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE FIVE SECOND DRAFT
PAGE FIVE
Panel 1 Mr. Kem (unbuckling belt): Thassit! When you're under MY ROOF, you don't DISRESPECT me, boy! Now drop them pants, it's whippin'-time!
Panel 2 Tenz: Dad!!!
Panel 3 Mr. Kem: And take off them dad-blasted fruity lookin' SUNGLASSES, boy! You ain't no Bismollywood Star! Doorbell rings Mr. Kem: Who tha hell is that?
Panel 4 Tenzil: *sigh*, I'll get it...
Panel 5 Tenz opens door to reveal Agent Spiffany!
Posted by MLLASH on :
Do you think Fat Cramer will let us use Tiffany Spiffany in our series? I want her to be a foil for Lester... Plus we need more hot chicks.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Yeah, we should use Tiffany if we can, but not right away.
Let's have some lesbian zombies on Tartarus! That's a sure seller!
Posted by Loser Lad on :
And albino midgets. Can't go wrong with albino midgets. Especially if they've got nunchucks... Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
I like the way you think, Lou! You may just be promoted from colorist to colorist/co-plotter!
Posted by Loser Lad on :
Woot! But I gotta warn you, I usually peak with albino midgets. It's all downhill from there... Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Question: Why is Lester on Bismoll? Has he been rebooted into a Bismollian, or what?
Posted by MLLASH on :
Eryk-- I need a diversion to keep me from ho-in' around on this board any further!
I stand (well, sit actually) ready to brainstorm and get this 22-page script DONE!!!!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Alright, so do we keep going with what we got?
Next up is the first encounter between Lester and Tenzil. What should that be like?
Posted by Arachne on :
Disasterous, I should think.
Maybe Lester's dad shipped Lester off to Bismoll to avoid a scandle. Caught in bed with a lesbian zombie while taking pro-fem, perhaps.
On a serious note: This is an interesting way to write a fanfic.
[ August 08, 2003, 09:41 PM: Message edited by: Arachne ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
Well we want Les to be smitten of course... and Tenz will be clueless. It'll be Taryn who eventually points out that Lester has a crush on Tenzil... much to Tenz' flabbergastation -- cool word.
We at one time had a reason why Les was working on Bismoll but I have completely forgotten it---
Posted by Thriftshop Debutante on :
Would you please not mention Lester and work in the same sentence?
Posted by MLLASH on :
DUCK, Eryk-- it's Editor Lass!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
quote:Originally posted by MLLASH: We at one time had a reason why Les was working on Bismoll but I have completely forgotten it---
Actually, I thinked Arachne pretty much sussed it out-- didn't it have something to do with his father sending him there as punishment for something?
Posted by MLLASH on :
Sounds good to me though it'll drive a certain femme editor nuts, no doubt! Lester... PUNISHED? Why yes, indeed! *tee hee!* And of course Tiffany will be eating it up...!
So... did we decide Taryn & Lester were going to already know each other or not...?
Posted by Thriftshop Debutante on :
Remember how I said I secured copyrights?
Do you really think I put all our names on it?
[ August 08, 2003, 10:07 PM: Message edited by: Thriftshop Debutante ]
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
quote:Originally posted by MLLASH: So... did we decide Taryn & Lester were going to already know each other or not...?
Taryn and Lester? I don't think they should know each other.
Posted by Thriftshop Debutante on :
I have no idea who Tiffany is. You make her sound like Lori Morning sounds (From what I've read of her on the board, I've not read too much of her in comics.)
And I would advise against the dusty old "oh-no-daddy's-about-to-cut-me-off-we-have-to-go-stop-him" plot. Seen it too many times.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Tiffany will certainly get a kick out of her brother actually having to work! She'll be doing all her rich jewelry heiress stuff, like trying to bribe her way into the Legion, and meanwhile he'll be stuck on Bismoll with a job!
Now, what could Lester have done that makes him deserving of so horrible a fate?
Posted by MLLASH on :
Smashed Daddy's fave Ming Vase during a sissy hissy?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
No, something more serious than that.....
Posted by Thriftshop Debutante on :
Lester is an only child.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
AHA!!! How's this: Lester is caught shopping in a thriftshop... and for behavior uncharacterstic of a Spiffany, he's punished by being shown what's it's like to really be a part of the working class! And even though its really a cushy government job, its still close enough to be considered horrendous punishment by Les!
Posted by Thriftshop Debutante on :
No.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Damn it, Lash! I told you we should have finished this while she was on her "break" from posting!
Posted by MLLASH on :
We can override her if need be. Your idea works for me as long as I can throw in the term "sissy hissy" somewhere in the story!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
We should make "sissy hissy" the title of one of the issues!
And as long as YOUR comfortable overriding her, then that's fine. I mean... she's YOUR friend...
Posted by Thriftshop Debutante on :
Lash won't. He says he will but never does. (I checked with the Triads.)
Use Lester properly or don't use him at all!
Posted by Varalent on :
INTEROFFICE MEMO
TO: Creative Staff of speculative project known as MATER-EATER LAD: The Series.
You guys better get on with it! OR Else! You know how "peeved" I get when I don't see progress. You don't want me to turn the project over to someone better suited for it, like TD, do you?
signed: Ye Mighty Publisher
[ August 10, 2003, 05:52 AM: Message edited by: Varalent ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
It might be for the best if we drop Lester altogether then.
I only wanted him for the gay subplot anyway. I sure don't have to have that.
Any plans we had for Lester can easily be fulfilled by Tiffany Spiffany.
Posted by Thriftshop Debutante on :
Yes.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
But didn't all the plans for Lester revolve around the gay subplot?
Are we going to let Tiffany have a crush on Tenzil now? What about Dev-Em and the super-fatassing?
We're going to have to completely rethink the whole series now!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
And WHO is going to be spotlighted in "Sissy Hissy"?
Posted by MLLASH on :
Tiffany now has the crush on Tenzil (and later dates Dev-Em to make him jealous).
Nardo's now the gay one. His fetish? Huge, fat asses!
*tee hee!* This is funnier...!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Ah yes! So gay Nardo now captures Dev-em to use him to make super-fatasses to fulfill his fetish!
That's brilliant!!!
I'm so inspired now!
If only we could finish the first issue...
Posted by MLLASH on :
And Tiffany will always wear skimpy outfits made of nothing but precious gems from all over the universe!
Okay, EDE... do you wanna do as before and me type out the next few pages and then you go back and beef 'em up? That seemed to work out really well...
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Yeah, I think that's probably best.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
*sigh*
This was a lot of fun until it got stagnated by editorial interference.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
I know what you mean EDE! The "Substitute Legion" series by Mark Millar, Paris Hilton and Bryan Hitch was great too, but now it's been late for months!
Posted by MLLASH on :
got-danged editors!
[ January 09, 2004, 04:38 AM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
Okay, how's this--
Lester comes in at 4am from a night of drunken rich-gay-boy philandering.
He's drunk, hepped up on lotus fruit and hungry.
He wobbles into the Spiffany Kitchen and attempts to cook himself something. He turns many knobs and presses many buttons but gets frustrated because he doesn't know how to operate anything.
Then he remembers there's people on Daddy's payroll who did this sort of thing for him.
He storms into the servants quarters and demands they get downstairs to fix him something to eat.
The cook, the maid and the butler all enter the kitchen-- just as it explodes, killing all 3 of them.
Turns out Lester accidentally set the space-microwave on 'self-destruct' during his drugged-up ambling around the kitchen.
As punishment for killing 3 people and levelling the kitchen, Lester is sent to Bismoll by Poppa Spiffany.
Lester's response to his punishent: "It's STUPID! *YOU'RE* stupid!!" But off to Bismoll he goes anyway!
A wee bit of dark humour, but I kinda like it...
Posted by MLLASH on :
EDE, if you approve of this scenario, Lester's flashback could probably take up 2-3 pages... bringing us ever-closer to the 22-pages we need to finish issue 1...
Posted by MLLASH on :
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
That's groovy, Lash! As long as we name the maid Shirley!
Hmm... that could be an ongoing gag. A maid (always named Shirley) gets killed every couple of issues...
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Wow, I'm really looking forward to this issue!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Hmm... but I think we should leave the flashback scene for a later issue. Let's establish the character and his relationship with Tenzil and Taryn in the first issue, and then maybe around #2 or #3 someone could be wondering exactly how a rich spoiled brat ended up working as a governmental courier on Bismoll.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Okay, how's this for Page Six? Let me know if we should go in a completely different direction, Lash. I defer to you as the expert on gay lustf and stuff...
PAGE 6
Panel One Lester stands there, lust in his eyes.
Panel Two TENZIL: Uh... can I help you?
Panel Three Lester looks at his package, trying to regain his composure. LESTER: Uh... I'm... uh... looking for a Mr. Tenzil Kem... I've got a package from the Ministry of Elections...
Panel Four TENZIL: Wowsa! I'm Tenzil Kem. Thanks!
Panel Five Tenzil takes the package and hands Lester a tip.
Panel Six Tenzil closes the door, leaving Lester standing there on the doorstep, so smitten he's unable to move.
Posted by MLLASH on :
quote:Originally posted by Eryk Davis Ester: That's groovy, Lash! As long as we name the maid Shirley!
Hmm... that could be an ongoing gag. A maid (always named Shirley) gets killed every couple of issues...
*tee hee!* Me likey!
Posted by MLLASH on :
Page 6 sounds good... let's keep it rolling... (feel free to clean/spruce this up):
PAGE 7
Panel 1
Tenzil enters the den, package in hand
Dad: What's that, boy?
Panel 2
Tenz: Dunno, but it tastes important! *eats corner of package to open*
Panel 3
Tenz: It's... it's...
Dad: It's WHAT??
Panel 4
Tenz: It's my draft noice.
Dad: It's WHAT!!
Panel 5
Tenz: Goodbye to this Jackass Festival! I'm a senator now!!
[ January 09, 2004, 04:02 PM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
We'll keep it going and polish it up later!
PAGE EIGHT
Panel One
Tenzil walks out of the house. Lester is still standing on the doorstep.
Panel Two
Tenzil kisses Lester on the cheek out of excitement.
Tenz: Thanks, man!
Panel Three
As Lester faints, Tenz stops and looks over the fence at the Loy's house next door. Taryn is standing in the yard. Strange noises are coming out of the basement.
Tenz: Hey Beautiful! I'm a senator now!
Panel Four
Taryn looks unimpressed.
Taryn: What do you mean you're a Senator?
Tenz: I've got my draft notice and everything!
Panel Five
Taryn: Uh, Tenz, just because they drafted you doesn't mean you're a Senator. Don't you ever watch the news? Drafting Senators was the old system. These days they draft candidates for the Senate. You still have to run for the office.
Tenz: Willikers! Well, how do I run a campaign?
Taryn: Didn't you get a book with the draft notice or something?
Panel Six
Tenz: Hmmm... must have left it in the house...
[ January 09, 2004, 05:59 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
Page 9
Panel 1
Tenz & Taryn approach the house and see Lester still sitting on his front step, all trance-like.
Lester: *dreamy sigh!*
Tenz: You! I bet you know about this political stuff, right?
Panel 2
Lester: Oh, I'm informed about LOTS of things. I'm rich, you know. Attended the finest space-schools Daddy could find and had top of the line Teacher-trons!
Panel 3
Tenz: Hmmmmm... with your money-- (looks to Lester) --and your brains (looks to Taryn) -- and MY good looks, we just might pull this off!
Panel 4
Lester: pull it off... HUH?
Taryn: What are you babbling about, Tenzil?
Panel 5
Tenzil: Getting me elected, of course!
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
I think we have a hit on our hands!
Posted by MLLASH on :
Thanks, IB! I'm inclined to agree!
Hey, EDE-- I'm grooving to this 'we write every-other-page' stuff-- are you?
If so-- you're UP!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 10
Panel One
As the three stand on the doorstep of Tenz's house, Renkil pops his head out of the door.
RENKIL: There you are! I just won 30 creds at the kangabronc races, and Pop and I are goin' down to the pub to celebrate. Can you stay here with Mom? She ain't feelin' well... her nerves and stuff...
Panel Two
TENZ: So, Renkil, you finally win some money, and now you and Dad are going to blow it all on Silverale?
RENKIL: Uh... yeah, that's the plan!
TENZ: Sheesh!
Panel Three
CAPTION: AFTER TENZIL'S FATHER AND BROTHER LEAVE...
Tenzil pops in to check on his mom...
TENZIL: You alright, mom?
TENZ'S MOM: Do you know anything about Grandin Gender Reversal Disease? I think I might have a touch of it...
Panel Four TENZIL: Uh... I dunno. Look, I'm going over to Taryn's for a little while. You be okay while I'm gone?
TENZ'S MOM: I guess. I'll just vid-phone you if I need to go to the medi-center...
Panel Five At Taryn's house, the three sit around the kitchen table...
TENZIL: So, guys, we all ready to plan my big campaign?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
NOTE TO LASH: I've decided to make Tenz's mother a crazy hypochondriac. We can go back and rewrite eariler scenes to make them consistant with this.
Posted by MLLASH on :
Sounds great, Eryk!
Page 11
Panel 1
Before the dumbfounded Taryn and dazed Lester can reply, there is a large "BOOOOM!!" from Taryn's basement.
Panel 2
Tenz: Jumping fish-hooks! What was THAT??!
Taryn: Oh, that's just Dad and his experiments again!
Panel 3
Tenz: Willikers, Taryn! I thought they carted him off to the nuthouse for his "experiments".
Panel 4
Lester: Why would they do that?
Panel 5
Taryn: Well, he gave Mom extra breasts and gave our pet parakat an extra ass. For some reason, the Bismoll Scientific Council considered this an abomination. They were gonna "cart him off" as Shades here so eloquently put it... until they found out Dad had unlocked the secret to turning the matter we consume to super-strength.
Panel 6
Lester: Jeepers! Who'd he do that experiment on?
Panel 7
Taryn: On ME. *she smashes the table they are sitting at* (looks to Lester) Who are YOU anyway, and why am I telling you any of this?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 12
Panel 1
Lester: I'm Lester Spiffany, heir to Earth's swankiest jewelry establishment!
Panel 2
Taryn: So, why are you working as a government courier on Bismoll?
Panel 3
Lester: Uh... I don't want to talk about it.
Panel 4
Tenzil: OOOO-kay. So, how are we going to get me elected?
Taryn: Why do you want to be a Senator, anyway?
Panel 5
Tenzil: I'll do anything to get out of living at home. My family's driving me crazy!
Panel 6
Taryn: All right... I've got a few ideas... but we'll definitely need some of you're money. [points at Lester]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 13
Panel 1
The scene cuts away to a dark room filled with shadowy figures. They are watching Tenz, Taryn & Lester on a vidcam.
Panel 2
Man # 1: The Loy daughter AND the imbecilic Spiffany heir? This could spell disaster for us!
Panel 3
Man # 2: That's impossible.
Panel 4
Man # 3: How is it impossible?
Panel 5
Man # 2: This is spelled t-h-i-s. Disaster is spelled d-i-s-a-s-t-e-r. So this could never spell disaster for us.
Panel 6
Man # 4: Exterminate him!
Panel 7
(man # 2 is blasted by rayguns from men #s 1 & 3)
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 14
Panel 1
The scene cuts away to another dark room filled with shadowy female figures, who seem to be watching the figures in the first shadowly room.
Panel 2
Woman #1: Stupid male pigs! They are behaving exactly according to our plan!
Panel 3
Woman #2: I only hope, sisters, that our chosen champion will perform her function!
Panel 4
Woman #3: Yes, that is why we engineered things so that Kem would be the one chosen by the draft board. He is expendable. She is not.
Panel 5
Woman #2: Oh, I hope he doesn't get hurt. He's actually kind of cute...
Panel 6
Woman #1: Perhaps you'd like to have him as your slave, my dear?
Panel 7
Woman #2: Perhaps...
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 15
Panel 1
The scene cuts away to still another shadowy room, this time filled with various animals! On a vid-screen is the shadowy women watching the shadowy men watching Tenz, Taryn and the rest!
Panel 2
earthquake beast: HooooOOOooonk!
panel 3
witch wolf: **HoooooooooooWL!**
panel 4
parakat: You critters aren't much for polite chitchat, are you? I thought we were discussing my extra ass.
panel 5
(Tenzil shoving a panel with the animals in it out of the way)
Tenz: ENOUGH with the subplots!! Get back to ME already... and the rest, of course!
[ January 13, 2004, 04:59 PM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 16
Panel 1
Scene cuts to a shadowy room where the shadowy forms of various plant-based races that have been seen in the Legion over the years are watching the shadowy animals watch the shadowy women watch the shadowy men watch Tenzil, Taryn, and Lester.
Panel 2
Shows Tenzil eating aforementioned panel.
Tenz: I'm serious! This story's supposed to about ME!
Panel 3
Taryn enters
Taryn: Hey ME Lad, just thought you'd like to know your election campaign's a huge success!
Panel 4
Tenzil: Yeah? Who'd have thought buying me my very own reality TV show would make me so popular? What a brilliant idea!
Panel 5
Taryn: Well, when I started thinking about the crazy cast of characters in your crazy dysfunctional family, it just seemed obvious that you were prime candidates to become mindless entertainment for the masses!
Tenzil: And of course, people will vote for me just to see the wacky hijinks of my family in the Capital during the second season!
(Bottom of page shows montage of scenes from the show)
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 17
Tenz' reality show jingle plays along the panel borders:
If they're eating old shoes Or even a pencil Everyone knows it's gotta be Tenzil
The Kem Family & Friends!
Starring:
Former chef to the Legion TENZIL KEM! (panel of Tenz in chef hat, eating a spatula)
Ma Kem! (Ma lying in bed with thermometer in her mouth)
Pa Kem! (Pa guzzling pluberry wine)
Renkil Kem! (Renkil being handcuffed by Sci-Cops)
The girl next door! (Taryn is flipping the bird, her middle finger has that TV-blurred-out effect on it)
The rich guy! (Lester wearing a diamond-encrusted tank top)
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Wow, I'm hooked! Somebody give these fellas a raise!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 18
Panel One
Tenzil speaking in front of a huge crowd. Shouts of "Tenzil! Tenzil!" in the background.
Tenzil: And, in conclusion, I say to you, "The planetary debt structure is nothing to get your knickers in a twist about!"
Panel Two
Tenzil greets loyal supporters after the rally.
Supporter #1: Can I have your autograph?
Tenzil: As long as I can have your vote...
Panel Three
Supporter #2 (to Supporter #3): Did you see last night's episode?
Supporter #3 (to Supporter #2): Yeah, I loved it when Tenzil had to intervene to stop Renkil from pawning the rich guy's gold-laced underpants for gambling money!
Panel Four
The Senate. Tenzil is being sworn in.
Caption: Soon...
Official: Now that you have digested the oath of allegiance, I proclaim you the newest member of the Bismollian Senate!
Panel Five
Tenzil is talking to Taryn and Lester after the swearing in.
Tenzil: Thanks guys! I couldn't have done without you! Now I don't have to live with my crazy family any more!
Panel Six
Taryn: Uh... but Tenz, have you forgotten? The voters are expecting a "Season Two"!
Tenzil: Ah... grife!
Posted by MLLASH on :
I'm having a ball with this!!
It's a shame DC doesn't accept script solicits anymore!
I wonder how Eryk and I could get this in the hands of someone at DC...? (once issue # 1 is finished, of course! Only a few pages to go!)
Posted by MLLASH on :
oh and Eryk-- is was COMPLETE & UTTER BRILLIANCE to tie-in Tenz' reality-show past from the early TMK days to his getting elected to senate post-boot! You are a jeenyus!!!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Thanks Lash!
We make a damn fine writing team!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 19
Panel 1
caption: And so everyone's favorite white space-trash family moved on up, moved on up to reside in a deluxe apartment in the sky...
(panel shows movers moving boxes into a Penthouse highrise apt.) -- in all panels, the reality show vid-cams fly around at random taping everything
Panel 2
Tenzil greets his new staff. He approaches the butler... (he is a hideous mucousy alien in a butler unifrom)
Tenzil: Ahoy there, Kid Stuffed Shirt! What's your name?
Butler: Jeeves.
Tenzil: Of course it is.
Panel 3
a weird alien woman in a maid uniform approaches
Tenzil: And you are...?
maid: I'm the maid, Shirley.
Tenzil: Surely you are, but what's your name?
Shirley: Don't get smart with me, hot-shot. I've seen you naked on the holovision!
Panel 4
(Shirley & Jeeves exit)
Tenzil: Great. Everyone needs a smart-mouthed maid who has seen them naked... I dunno how much more of this I can take. I wonder how many vacation hours I've accumulated?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 20
Panel One Caption: A few nights later...
Tenzil: Thanks, Tar, for letting me come over...
Taryn: I'm just glad you were able to slip away from the cameras for awhile.
Panel Two
Tenzil: Yeah, I convinced them it was secret Senate business. Fortunately, they don't film that. Yesiree, I'm looking forward to a quiet night of eating pizza and watching holos with my oldest friend!
Panel Three
Taryn has walked over to the window, through which lightning can be seen. She picks a little statuette that is sitting on the window ledge.
Taryn: I've always loved these dark, stormy nights.
Panel Four
The doorbell buzzes.
Tenzil: Yes! It must be the pizza! I hope they remembered the extra motor oil on my half!
Taryn: I don't understand why you don't just make your own, Mr. "Legion chef". After all, you always complain about how they do it.
Panel Five
Tenzil opens the door to reveal a shadowy figure holding a raygun.
Panel Six
Close up on the hand of the shadowy figure. As he fire the raygun, the statuette that Taryn was holding knocks it out of his hand.
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 21
Panel 1
The would-be assassin disappears into the night
Panel 2
Tenzil: Willikers!! My first assassination attempt! That's so... so... COOL!!
Panel 3
Taryn: (aggravated) *Sigh!* They MIGHT have been after me or Dad, y'know! Remember, his abominations and whatnot? Everything's not ALWAYS about YOU!
Panel 4
Tenzil: Untwist those knickers, babe! We've gotta get to the bottom of this! To the Tenzil-Mobile!
Panel 5
Taryn: Number one-- I don't wear knickers and if I did they certainly wouldn't be twisted in any way. Number two-- call me "babe" again and I'll assassinate you MYSELF.
Panel 6
Tenzil: Yes, ma'am! Now let's go!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 22
Splash page of the same shadowy room seen on Page 13!
The two remaining shadowy men are watching Tenzil and Taryn take off after the assassin in the "Tenzil-mobile"...
Man #3: It appears as though our assassin has failed!
Man #1: Sprock! We'll have to inform Prince Evillo!
BLURB: Next Issue: Tenzil and Taryn get to the mystery behind the assasination attempt! The Secret Origin of Lester Spiffany! And Renkil goes to the racetrack!
[ January 17, 2004, 05:00 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
WAHOOOO!!! We finished issue 1!!!!!
We kick ass!!!!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Jeepers! I just re-read the whole issue, and it's pretty good!
We kick ass, indeed!!!!
Posted by MLLASH on :
So, EDE, ya wanna get started on issue 2 or polish up issue 1 first?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
I say we go ahead and get a couple more issues under the belt, then go back and spiff(any) them up!
Hmm... I wonder if we could get Dean or someone to illustrate a couple of pages for us?
Posted by MLLASH on :
I'd love to see it. There's a ton of artists here, maybe one of them will spot this and be so overwhelemed by our uncanny skills that they will volunteer to do so!
Anyhoo, the one who closes an issue opens the next one, so I'll see you on Issue 2 Page 2! Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Dear writers of Matter-Eater Lad,
Just got the preview for issue 1's script. Absolutely love it, and can't wait to see more. You guys are pure genius, so please keep them coming! And more Taryn!
Sincerely, Cobalt, your biggest fan!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
MATTER-EATER LAD: THE SERIES ISSUE #2
PAGE ONE
Panel One
Caption: The Planet Tartarus
Establishing shot of Evillo's castle amid the hellish landscapes.
Panel Two
Shot of a room in the castle. A crowd of pathetic looking super-thugs are gathered there.
Two zombie servants overlook the gathered mob of villains from a balcony up above.
Panel Three
Close in on the Zombies.
Zombie #1: So, do you think any of these ruffians will make the grade?
Zombie #2: Hard to tell. The Prince is really scraping the bottom of the barrel these days.
Panel Four
Zombie #1: Well, it's really his own fault, you know. If he wouldn't banish members of his "Elite Royal Guard" to the Realms of Darkness faster than he can fill the vacancies in it, he'd probably be able to recruit a better class of thugs.
Zombie #2: Has he ever actually had a full dozen?
Panel Five
Zombie #1: Not since I've been reanimated.
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 2
full-page splash shows Evillo entering the room...
Evillo: WELCOME, peons... to the Devil's Dozen tryouts!
random super-villain: (whispering) I hate when he calls us "peons"! What is a peon, anyway...?
caption: All-Special All-Exciting second issue of Matter-Eater Lad with an Interactive PICK-IT-YOURSELF title! You may select: (A) Who Wants to be a Super-Villain? (B) The Secret Origin of Lester Spiffany AKA Shirley You Jest! (C) Tenzil & Taryn Get Nekkid! (but not with each other!) (D) This is the Biggest Pile of (fill in the blank yourself!) I've ever read!!
[ January 18, 2004, 01:44 PM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 3
Panel One
Tenz's Dad, Renkil, and Lester are in a bar. Cameras follow them around. A not-so-attractive but very busty waitress waits on them.
Waitress: Can I take your order?
Tenz's Dad: Well, you seem like quite the dish!
Panel Two
Waitress: Sorry, I'm not on the menu.
Tenz's Dad: Alright, then, for me and my boy Renkil here, how about a silverale and gasoline? And get the nancy boy whatever he wants, as well.
Lester: Just a straight silverale, please.
Panel Three
Dad: Hmm... and send some drinks over to those cute little fillies at that table, will you? And if you could slip in the fact that we're on TV...
Waitress: Sure thing...
Panel Four
Lester: Uh, Mr. Kem... do I need to remind you that you have a wife at home? And that you're being filmed?
Renkil: Can I have a cigarette?
Tenz's Dad: Sure, son. (Hands Renkil a cigarette). Oh, Myrta doesn't care. She's too busy watching the Home Health Care Channel to even bother watching our show!
Panel Five
As the waitress takes the order of the girls at the other table, they exchange flirtacious looks with Tenz's dad. Meanwhile, Renkil eats the cigarette.
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 4
Panel 1
Lester has glazed expression, is obviously bored out of his mind.
Lester: (thought balloon) Popping Hotties! How the hell did I-- heir to Earth's most ridiculously lavish jewelry slash bling-bling empire-- end up in this bar on Bismoll with these less than attractive men? Sounds like a good time for a flashback...
Panel 2
Lester caption: I was arriving home late from doing my charity work. (scene shows him stumbling into the mansion all drunken-like)
Panel 3
Lester caption: I was starved but didn't want to disturb anyone, so I attempted to fix myself some dinner. (scene shows Lester's drugged-up rampage through the kitchen, turning dials and pressing buttons and stuff)
Panel 4
Lester caption: My loyal staff must have heard me and came to my aid. (scene shows Lester screaming his head off in the servant's quarters)
Panel 5
Lester caption: And then... *choke!* Poor poor Chef C'nnonf'dder! And my loyal butler Splatters! And dear, dear Shirley... (scene shows Lester passed out in hallway when kitchen explodes)
[ January 18, 2004, 05:28 PM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 5
Panel 1
Lester caption: I spent days miserable because of what had happened to my loyal servants... (scene shows Lester out partying with his friends)
Panel 2
Lester caption: My dear father realized my misery, and suggested I take a vacation... (scene shows Pop Spiffany yelling at Lester)
Panel 3
Lester caption: After careful consideration, I chose Bismoll as the ideal place for a holiday... (scene shows Lester at the spaceport looking at ticket prices and counting the meager amount of cash he has; Bismoll is by far the cheapest)
Panel 4
Lester caption: There I spent my time relaxing and enjoying the sights... (scene shows Lester hard at work as a courier...)
Panel 5
Lester caption: Then, unexpectedly, I met my one true love... (scene shows Lester meeting Tenzil)
Panel 6
Lester caption: He needed money to run his political campaign, so I called my dad, who happily obliged... (scene shows Lester pleading with his father to send him money)
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 6
Panel 1
Lester: Of course, I spent that money on setting up Tenzil's reality show -- which has been a massive success-- and now I have my own money coming in, which is nice I suppose...
Panel 2
Pa Kem: Who're you talking to, Nancy?
Renkil: Let's hit the racetrack, Dad! Pa: Gladly, boy.
(Pa & Renkil exit)
Panel 3
Lester: Okay, sucks to this! If Tenzil thinks he's gonna ditch me with the in-laws while he's out doing Mordru-knows-what on the credits I enabled him to make, he's got another think coming!!
Panel 4
Bar patron: Who're you talking to, Nancy?
(Lester notices the gang of toughs that now surround his table)
Bar patron # 2: We don't take kindly to yer kind around here, Sally-Jo!
Panel 5
Lester: Oh, YEAH? Well eat THIS!! (reaches into pocket, throws hundreds of credits into the air)
Panel 6
(Lester exits bar while the patrons scramble to grab up credits)
Lester: Poor people are SoooOOoo predictable!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 7
Panel One Tenz and Taryn are in the Penthouse.
Tenz: So... I've been doing some investigating, and it turns out that four of my five predecessors as Senator from District 85 were assassinated!
Taryn: What happened to the fifth?
Panel Two
Tenz: Oh, he just disappeared under mysterious circumstances. But you think they'd tell you this when they draft you to run for office!
Taryn: So... do the police have any leads on the guy from last night?
Panel Three
Tenz: No. Strangely, they didn't seem too concerned.
Taryn: Well, at least we'll be ready for him if he tries something again.
Panel Four
Tenz: Yeah. You know... there's something I've been meaning to tell you... thanks for saving my life and stuff...
Taryn: No problem.
Panel Five
Tenzil: I mean it... you've been such a great friend to me over the years. I know sometimes I act like I don't appreciate it...
Taryn: Don't get all sentimental on me, Kem.
Panel Six
Tenz's Mom (from bedroom): Tenzil! Are you there Tenzil?
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 8
Panel 1
Tenzil: Yeah, Ma!
Panel 2
Ma: My feet hurt! I think I've got a touch of the Pain Plague! Will you come rub them for me?
Panel 3
(turns to Taryn, whispers)
Tenzil: Save. Me. Now.
Panel 4
Taryn: Sorry, Mrs. K! Tenzil's got... umm.... big senator-type stuff to do, and he's late!
Panel 5
Ma: Well, I'll just lie here and DIE ALONE then...
(sound effect of door slamming from outside bedroom as T & T exit)
Ma: **sigh!!**
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 9
Panel 1
Tenz and Taryn run into Shirley on their way out.
Tenz: Hey, Shirley! Be a dear and go check on my mom's feet, will ya?
Shirley: Well, I...
Tenz: Thanks, babe!
Panel 2
Taryn: So... you think Lester will want to rub your feet when he gets home?
Tenz: What do you mean?
Taryn: Oh... nothing.
Panel 3
Tenz: Huh?
Taryn: You don't have a clue, do you?
Panel 4
Tenz: About what?
Taryn: Oh, it's just Lester's really... um... likes you.
Panel 5
Tenz: Yeah... I think he kind of looks up to me! Like a big brother or something. It's only him and the sister back home, you know. And it's about time I had a little brother who shows me the respect I deserve, instead of that brat Renkil!
Panel 6
Taryn: Uh... yeah. And speaking of your "little brother"... there he comes now...
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 10
Panel 1
Lester: So. THERE you are. With... with her.
Panel 2
Taryn: "Her"? The name's Taryn, Lester, remember?
Tenzil: I thought your last name was Loy, not Lester!
Taryn: *sigh!!*
Panel 3
Lester: (all dramatic-ey) *CHOKE!!* Tenzil, I'm SOOOOO bored! If something exciting doesn't happen soon, I swear I'm gonna claw my eyeballs out!
Panel 4
(very large & loud explosion)
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 11
Panel 1
Cut to news report
Reporter: Thanks, Kletzel. A series of explosions broke out in downtown Bismopolis today after a "Boom-Boom Beast" escaped from the Capitol Petting Zoo.
Panel 2
(shows picture of "Boom-Boom" Beast
Reporter caption: Boom-Boom beasts are, of course, so-called for their ability to generate spontaneous explosions.
Panel 3
Reporter caption: The shots you are seeing are from cameras filming the popular "Kem Family and Friends" reality show, starring Senator Tenzil Kem.
Panel 4
Reporter caption: Kem and his friends jewelry heir Lester Spiffany and Taryn Loy, daughter of famed scientist Maervyn Loy, happened to be in the vicinity of one of the first explosions.
Panel 5
RC: The problem was quickly contained, due to Senator Kem's quick thinking.
Panel 6
RC: It's not completely clear what happened, but sources say Kem employed a mini-stasis field generator, apparently of a sort used by Taryn Loy's father while experimenting on animal subjects.
Panel 7
RC: Some may remember the protests a few years back over Dr. Loy's controversial experments on parakats.
Panel 8
RC: Fortunately, no one was hurt in today's explosions, thinks to Senator Kem's preparedness and quick action.
Panel 9
RC: I think the citizens of Bismopolis will agree, it's a damn fine thing we've got a great man like him in the Senate. Back to you, Kletzel.
[ January 22, 2004, 10:36 AM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by deanlegion on :
Posted by MLLASH on :
DEAN!!!! I'm swooning here!!! That's a beautiful cover!
(EDE, I'll do page 12 tomorrow-- I'm off for birthday karaoke tonight! Loved your handling of the explosion, BTW!)
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
That's pretty groovy, Dean! I love how you've got Taryn and Lester looking at each other suspisciously!
(And Lash... Happy Birthday!)
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
DC, give these guys jobs already!
Posted by MLLASH on :
Yeah DC! Give us jobs!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 12
Panel 1
Caption: Meanwhile, back on Tartarus*... (*Confess-- you thought we had forgotten, didn't you!)
Evillo: Step forth, woman! Step forth and tell your Prince why he should allow you to join his elite guard, his Devil's Dozen!
Panel 2
Applicant: Watch, Prince Evillo-- as I blast your zombie manservant with the power only I possess!
Panel 3
(shows zombie manservant with spaced-out expression, spouting gibberish)
Panel 4
Evillo: What have you done to him?
Panel 5
Applicant: He has tasted my mind-altering power! The power of... Lotus Fruit Lass!
Panel 6
Evillo: Quite an improvement in his personality. You may stay, Lotus Fruit Lass... for now. NEXT!!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 13
Panel 1
Brittle Boy: I, Brittle Boy, am gifted with the power to break my body into tiny bits and then reconstitute myself!
Panel 2
Brittle Boy: See how I easily fall apart when your Zombie guard punches me?
Panel 3
(Brittle Boy lies in a pile on the floor)
Panel 4
(Evillo and everyone else continues to stare at the pile.)
Evillo: Well?
Panel 5
Evillo: Shirley! Clean this mess up!
Panel 6
(Shirley, the zombie maid, sweep up Brittle Boy.)
Evillo: NEXT!
[ January 23, 2004, 06:24 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 14
Panel 1
Nudelad: I, Nudelad, possess the uncanny power to disentegrate fabric!
(zaps Evillo, who is now on his throne nude-- covered by a strategically placed something-or-other)
Panel 2
Evillo: **GRRRRRRR!**
random applicant: Oh NO! The HORNS! The HORNS!!
Panel 3
(Evillo zaps Nudelad into the Realm of Darkness)
Panel 4
Evillo: MORONS! CRETINS! JACKANINNYS! I certainly hope you waste no MORE of my time!! NEXT! (Shirley gives him new royal robe)
Panel 5
applicant: Uh.... I'm Kid Powerless...
Panel 6
Evillo: **GRRRRRR!** (horns begin to glow again)
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 15
Panel 1
Tenzil, Lester, and Taryn sit in a coffee shop. It's raining outside.
Tenzil: Okay. So we used your dad's stasis device thingie to stop the escaped animal this afternoon. But now we've got nothing to catch the creepy assassin guy when he strikes again!
Taryn: We'll think of something.
Lester: I... I couldn't stand it if something happened to you, Tenzil!
Panel 2
(A shadowy figure can be seen in the background pulling his gun out of his cloak)
Tenzil: Thanks, Lester! But I'm sure everything will be okay!
Panel 3
Taryn: Tenz!
(Taryn leaps as shadowy figure fire his gun)
Panel 4
(Taryn pushes Tenz out of the way as the shot hits her)
Panel 5
(shadowy figure starts to flee)
Lester: Oh, no you don't!
Panel 6
(Lester pulls out bag of coins, and throws them on the floor)
Panel 7
(Patrons of the coffee shop, including the "shadowy figure", scramble for the coins on the floor)
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 17
Panel 1
(Shows the assassin dude being tripped up in the mad melee to grab up the gold coins)
Panel 2
Tenzil: GOTCHA!! Now to see who you are-- NO! Not-- YOU!! *gasp!*
Panel 3
Lester: *gasp!*
Panel 4
Coffee shop patrons: *gasp!!*
Panel 5
Taryn: (lying on floor bleeding) *gasp!*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 18
Panel 1
Tenzil: Shirley!!
Panel 2
Shirley: Now that you've caught me... I must surely die...
Panel 3
Tenzil: You won't die, Shirley!
Shirley: But surely I will... for I have already activated the poisoned capsule hidden in my dental cavity. Better to die now than be banished to the Realm of Darkness!
Panel 4
Tenzil: "Realm of Darkness!" Whatchu talkin' about Shirley?
Panel 5
Shirley: Now that I am dying, I might as well reveal all... you have been targeted by Prince Evillo!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 19
Panel 1
Tenzil: Prince Evillo? Who's that?
Shirley: *death rattle*
Panel 2
Lester: Well, I guess now we'll never know...!
Panel 3
Taryn: EXCUSE me! Injured woman over here! If you goofballs will help me to the Med-Center, I'll fill you in on Evillo... Dad's done some experiments for him in the past!
Panel 4
caption: Shortly, at the Med-Center...
Orderly: Injured Bismollian female! Remove her clothing and stick her in the Med-Probulatrix!
Taryn: Really, I'd rather stay clothed...
Panel 5
Orderly: Nudify her at once!
Tenzil: Kewl!!
Lester: Gross!
Taryn: *sigh!!*
[ January 24, 2004, 01:55 AM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 20
Panel 1
(Tenzil and Lester sit in the waiting room...)
Panel 2
(Doctor walks in, looking very grim)
Doctor: Hi, I'm Doctor Landro. I take it you're Taryn Loy's friends?
Tenz: Yes, doc. How the examination go?
Panel 3
Doctor: *Sigh* I hate to tell you this, but everything went horribly. I had determined that we would have to operate using some highly advanced techniques of 4D-surgery, but by the time I had prepped my instruments, I'm afraid it was just too late.
Panel 4
Tenz: *Gasp*! You mean she's... she's...
Doctor: Yes. She's perfectly okay. Darn super-charged body healed before I could operate!
Panel 5
Doctor: All those years spent inventing techniques of 4D-surgery, and now people start healing themselves! *Sigh*. What's the point?
Posted by MLLASH on :
(hey Eryk, if it's okay I'll do the last 2 pages, if you find the splash page superflous, we can edit it)
PAGE 21
Panel 1
Tenzil: I'm glad she's okay, but what I REALLY wanna know is...
Doctor: Yes...?
Panel 2
Tenzil: Is she still naked?
Panel 3
(the Orderly from before is passing by)
Lester: Y'know, Tenzil, you got pretty roughed up yourself at the coffee shop...
Panel 4
Orderly: Injured Bismollian male! Nudify him at once!!
Panel 5
Lester: Yes, at once! Be quick about it, he's practically dying over here...!
Panel 6
(Orderlies grab Tenz and are ripping at his shirt)
Tenzil: *Awwwp!!*
PAGE 22
(full-page splash)
caption: Back on scenic Tartarus...
(Evillo is on his throne; before him are 5 super-villains)
Evillo: AT LAST! My Devil's Dozen is complete! Let the worlds tremble before me! NYAhahaHAhaha!!
Lotus Fruit Lass: (whispering to villain next to her) Dozen...? But there's only FIVE of us...!
NEXT ISSUE: Our next issue!
Posted by MLLASH on :
I reread issue 2... it has me giggling even more than issue 1...
I really like Lester's recurring "solve the problem by throwing money" deal... I think that should qualify as a super-power!
Whaddya think, EDE?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Just one thing missing...
EPILOG, or WHATEVER HAPPENED TO PAGE 16?
(Editor's Note: Sorry guys, but this page seemed superfluous to the story, so I moved it to the end)
Panel 1
Caption: We momentarily interrupt the capture of the assassin to take you back to Tartarus...
Scene shows piles of refuse in a circular room...
Panel 2
The pieces of Brittle Boy are lying there, and begin to come together...
Panel 3
Brittle Boy: Ta Da!!! Such is the power of... Hey! Where am I?
Panel 4
(Scene pulls to reveal a circular facility labeled "Refuse Disintegration Chamber")
Panel 5
(Lights are flashing inside the disintegration chamber)
[ January 25, 2004, 04:50 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
By the way, you get to begin the next issue, Lash!
Posted by MLLASH on :
D'oh!! I never realized I skipped a page!
So, Eryk... any plans for this issue or are we going by the seat of our pants...?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Here's an idea: Tenz & the gang use the excuse of a special "vacation" episode of Kem Family & Friends to travel to Tartarus to investigate the assasination attempt.
Posted by MLLASH on :
Sounds great! Shall we begin...?
MATTER-EATER LAD issue # 3 script
PAGE 1
(TV jingle plays along panel borders; panels are shaped like holovision set)
jingle:
Frying up lampshades Munching on bookends Look out, it's time for the KEM FAMILY & FRIENDS
Panel 1
TV: Previously on KEM FAMILY & FRIENDS
Panel 2
TV: Tenzil & Taryn barely escaped with their clothes from the Nudie Med-Center of Doom!
Panel 3
TV: Ma had her feet rubbed by a Ninja Assassin Maid!
Panel 4
TV: Pa & Renkil were arrested for disrupting the kangabronc races!
Panel 5
TV: Lester demanded a return to the hovercraft-set lifestyle he is accustomed to!
Panel 6
TV: What wacky hijinks will the gang get into tonight? STAY TUNED!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 2
(Splash Page showing Kem Family & Friends arriving at spaceport.)
TITLE (in the form of a sign): Welcome to Tartarus!
Ma Kem: Are you sure this fancy health spa you've booked us into will be good for my Rigellian fever?
Tenzil: Of course, Mom! It says here you'll have the vacation of a lifetime... and maybe beyond! I wonder what that means...
Taryn: Why am I carrying all the luggage?
Lester: Well, you are the one with super-strength!
Taryn: Hmmph...
Renkil: It says here they've got the third largest casino off Ventura!
Pa Kem: I hope they got bathrooms on this planet, because I need to go...
[ January 26, 2004, 11:36 AM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 3
Prince Evillo's castle
Panel 1
Evillo is watching the Kem Family arrive on a monitor screen.
Evillo: Interesting. Very, VERY interesting. VOORHEES!!
Panel 2
(a zombie manservant runs up)
Evillo: YOU aren't Voorhees!
manservant: Nope, I'm Krueger. Voorhees took a personal day today.
Evillo: WHAT in the name of ME does a zombie need with a personal day?
Krueger: Limb tightening, skin conditioning, the usual...
Panel 3
Evillo: ENOUGH of this nonsense! Assemble the Devil's Dozen at ONCE, fool!
Panel 4
Krueger: (running & yelling down hallway) Hey, Meyers! Get with the program! The Prince wants his Guards!
Panel 5
Evillo: Idiots. They were MUCH better off dead... and were certainly less irritating.
Panel 6
(Evillo glances back at monitor, gets horrified expression)
Evillo: WHAT the...!!?!!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 4
Panel 1
(Scene rotates so that we see what is alarming Evillo. Thora has arrived at the spaceport behind the Kems).
Evillo: WHAT is SHE doing here...!?!
Panel 2
(Thora is speaking to a zombie attendant at spaceport)
Thora: YOU... male dog! Carry my bags!
Zombie: (makes grunting noise)
Panel 3
(As Thora walks along, she speaks on her communicator)
Thora: I have arrived, my sisters. If I know my ex-husband, he is probably already aware of my presence...
Panel 4
(Cut to the other two shadowy women from Issue #1)
Woman #3: Just remember... the alliance of our three worlds depends on the success of your mission!
Woman #2: And try to make sure that cute Tenzil comes out of this okay...
Panel 5
Thora: I will do my best, sisters! Thora out!
Panel 6
(Thora looks at Zombie attendant who is following her. His arms are missing, and he doesn't have her luggage...)
Thora: WHAT have you done with my bags!
Zombie: (makes grunting noise)
Panel 7
(shows Thora's luggage, back where they started, with the Zombie's arms still attached to them, having fallen off)
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 5
Panel 1
(T, T & L are gathered together)
caption: Tenzil's suite...
Tenzil: Great. So Ma, Pa and Renkil are all occupied and I convinced the camera-eyes that I'm here on Senator-type business, so we'll have a little privacy. Now we can get down to the REAL reason we're here...
Panel 2
Lester: OH, Tenzil!! There's a GREAT anti-grav hot-tub here! PLEASE go hot-tubbing with me, PLEASE, please, please!
Panel 3
Taryn: Don't be ridiculous! You know we're here to find out what this whole assassination-plot against Tenzil is all about!
Panel 4
Lester (has hands together as if in prayer, has nuzzled against Tenzil's arm): Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease?
Panel 5
Tenzil: *heh heh!* Awww, shucks, Taryn... there's no reason we can't discuss our plans in the anti-grav hot-tub! The li'l guy wants to go, so why not?
Panel 6
Lester: (running off to fetch bathing suit) HOOOOORAY!!!!!
Panel 7
Taryn: Have you flipped your spatula? WHY are you encouraging him?!?
Tenzil: What are you talking about?
Panel 8
Taryn: He's ATTRACTED to you! And NOT like a little brother!!
Tenzil: Well, that's certainly understandable... what with my hotness and all...
Panel 9
Taryn: DO something about this, and I mean it! And try to let him down easy, he's been very good to you.
Tenzil: Okay, okay...!!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 6
Panel 1
(Lester comes out in bathing suit...)
Lester: I'm all ready!
Panel 2
Tenz: Lester, can I have a word with you... in private...
(Taryn looks on approvingly)
Panel 3
Tenz: You see, Les, sometimes a person has certain feelings for another person, but that person doesn't feel that way in return...
Lester (puzzled look on his face): Yeah...?
Panel 4
Tenz: And it can be quite shocking and disappointing to find out that someone you really like doesn't reciprocate your affection in the same way. Do you understand?
Les: Yeah... I think so...
Panel 5
Tenz: So, what I'm saying is, maybe the anti-grav hot tub would just be a bad idea. I hope that's okay with you...
Les (disappointed): Well, yeah. I mean... if Taryn feels that way about you I guess it's better if we don't make her jealous. After all, I'm sure we'll have plenty of time for hot tubs later!
Panel 6
(Lester scurries off to change back into normal clothes)
Tenz: *sigh*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
[NOTE: At the end of the Evillo arc, we'll have Tenzil successfully explain to Lester that he's not interested, which can set the stage for the special spotlight on Lester, entitled "Sissy Hissy", to follow! I've already got a cool idea involving a scene with an obscure minor character we can incorporate into that issue!]
Posted by MLLASH on :
[reply to NOTE: Sounds good! I'm looking forward to Lester's futile attempts to make Tenzil jealous-- until he meets Dev-Em, of course...
Hey, have you noticed this is getting easier & easier...?
OH! And I need to know how many members of the Devil's Dozen you wanted to add yourself. As the script currently stands, there's 4 slots as Lotus fruit Lass is one of the 5]
[ January 26, 2004, 01:42 PM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 7
Panel 1
(Tenzil approaches Taryn)
Taryn: Well, I saw him dash off. He wasn't crying or anything, he actually even flashed me this little cocky grin.
Panel 2
Tenzil: Oh, ummmm... good?
Taryn: Tenzil! Don't tell me you didn't tell him?
Panel 3
Tenzil: I did, but somehow it got kind-of... mutated.
Panel 4
Taryn: In interlac, please...
Panel 5
Tenzil: He thinks you've got the hots for me and that he and I are an item.
Panel 6
Taryn: WHAT...!!?!?
Tenzil: Just-- play along for now-- we've got more pressing business at the moment.
Panel 7
Taryn: Fine, whatever. For NOW. But I'm NOT acting like I have the hots for you.
Panel 8
(Lester, back in regular clothes, walks up)
Lester: Okay, so what's the plan?
Panel 9
Tenzil: I'm going to engage Evillo in a political debate!
[ January 26, 2004, 02:04 PM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
Jeepers! Where oh where has Eryk gone?!?
PAGE 8
Panel 1
Taryn: Debate? He's the Prince of Tartarus, you're a Senator on Bismoll. I don't think a debate is going to work here.
Panel 2
Lester: Well, I think it's a good idea.
Taryn: Of COURSE you do.
Panel 3
Tenzil: But I was gonna debate the pros and cons of his "Banishment to the Realm of Darkness" policy! Not to mention "Head Horns: Hot or Not"!
Panel 4
Lester: ICK! From the holos I've seen of him, DEFinitely NOT.
Taryn: *sigh!*
Panel 5
Tenzil: And you should hear my "Zombies: Live Free or Die Again" manifesto!
Lester: Yeah!
Taryn: NO!
Panel 6
Tenzil: FINE then. Let's hear YOUR ideas!
Panel 7
(scene cut)
Evillo: (lusty grin) Yes, m'dear... Let's hear YOUR ideas....
Posted by MLLASH on :
Willikers, Eryk-- I need your help!
PAGE 9
Panel 1
(still talking to vid-screen, grinning evilly & horny-ishly)
Evillo: And do any of your ideas involve erotically-placed brimstone...?
voice from behind: Sire?
Panel 2
Evillo: (shocked, whirls around) WHAT in the name of...!! Lotus Fruit Lass! You dare disrupt my meditations...?!?!!
Panel 3
L F L: But sire, you ordered me to inform you when the Dozen had gathered. The 5 of us await you in the throne-room... once your meditations are done, of course.
Evillo: Of course. Now beggone, I shall join you all forthwith!
Panel 4
caption: Later, after Evillo's meditations are spent...
(Evillo entering throne room as the Dozen look on)
Evillo: BEWARE, my Loyal Royal Guard! Mine enemies have converged and do plot to squash me like some sort of overripe squash! Are you prepared to lay down your lives for me? ARE you...
Panel 5
Evillo: ....Lotus Fruit Lass?
L F L: YES, Sire!
Panel 6
Evillo: And you, Stick With A Nail In It-Kid?
SWANIIK: Oh YES YES YES!!
Panel 7
Evillo: And you, Sugyn? Sugyn?
Sugyn: (snoring) ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ*****
Posted by MLLASH on :
WHERE in the CRAP is Eryk Davis Ester?!?!
I refuse to write any more of this without my co-writer!
And WHEN he DOES decide to pop up again, I demand he give in-depth details about his whereabouts during this absence!
THAT'S right, Eryk-- I'm FAR WORSE than your wife or girlfriend-- I'm your gay co-writer!!!!!! Fear me!!!
*tee hee!*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Sorry about the absence! I promise I'll write some more tonight!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 10
Panel 1
Evillo is obviously getting angry, as his horns begin to sprout...
Evillo: SUGYN!!!!
Panel 2
Sugyn suddenly wakes up...
Sugyn: Wha...? Uh... Ready to go, boss!
Panel 3
Evillo (calms down somewhat): *Sigh* Wild Huntsman, how about you?
Wild Huntsman: Yee-haw!
Panel 4
Evillo: And Apollo! You've been with my elite guard for quite awhile!
Apollo: Always ready to serve, my lord!
Panel 5
Evillo: Hmmm... wait. 1... 2... 3.... 4... 5... hey! Where are the rest of my Elite Guard!
Lotus Fruit Lass: Uhh... we're all there are.
Panel 6
Evillo: No, that's not right. I should have a Devil's Dozen. Where's that one fellow... uh, Armageddon Artie?
Apollo: My lord, I'm afraid you banished him to Realm of Darkness last week...
Panel 7
Evillo: Really? What about The Poisoner?
Apollo: Two months ago.
Evillo: And Hellracer?
Apollo: Yep.
Evillo: Kid Crane?
Apollo: Sorry.
Evillo: Not Spandex Dexter?
Apollo: 'Fraid so.
Posted by MLLASH on :
Willikers! I'm just glad you're okay, my lad!
Feel free to write as many pages as you like, can't wait to see them!
Posted by MLLASH on :
WOW that was quick! You posted your page before I posted my reply!
Do more, do more! Holler out when you're ready for me to do a page!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 11
Panel 1
Evillo: *sigh* Well, I guess we'll need to hold another tryout tomorrow!
Panel 2
Zombie Servant: Uh... sire? Remember that your ex-wife is going to be visiting the castle tomorrow?
Evillo: *sigh* I think I need to lay down...
Panel 3
As Evillo leaves he turns to the Devil's "Dozen"...
Evillo: Dismissed!
Panel 4
Lotus Fruit Lass: So... uh... that's it?
Apollo: Basically. Evillo's been trying to get a full dozen members for his "Royal Guard" for over a year now, but he never quite gets there. We're supposed to perform some big mission once he gets us all together, but no one really knows the details...
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Hmmm... I'm thinking this would be a good time for some Kem family hijinks, before we get to the scene where Taryn and Tenzil infiltrate the Devil's Dozen tryouts!
So Lash... you want to write something on what Renkil and Pa are doing during their "vacation" to Tartarus?
Posted by MLLASH on :
Hmmm. I'll try, though I dislike them! I won't kill them off... yet. *diabolical chuckle*
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 12
Panel 1
(closeup on a strip club; neon sign reads Flesh Eaters )
Caption: I dunno, Dad... there's just something weird about this strip joint...
Panel 2
(inside club; omstage are chesty zombie chicks in various states of undress)
Caption: Hey, a strip club's a strip club, son!
Panel 3
(closeup on one of zombie strippers dancing; shows a part of her jaw breaking off)
Caption: Yeah, Dad but... something about the CHICKS here... I can't quite put my finger on it. And to be honest, I kinda don't WANT to put my finger on it...
Panel 4
(shot of the crowded bar itself; lots of zombie and a few non-zombie patrons and workers milling about)
Caption: "Don't want...!" GRIFE, kid, you're turning as bad as Tenzil's friend Nancy! Chill out, watch yer ol' Pop pay this hottie for a lap dance!
Panel 5
(close-up of Renkil's face-- horrified expression)
Renkil: Oh GODS no!! Dad, her butt is cracking!! DAD!! DAD!!!!!
Panel 6
(shot of Pa sitting in his chair holding the upper half of his zombie stripper; her bottom half has crumbled to dust in his lap)
Pa: By damn! Now THAT is what I call a LAP dance..!!!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
WOW! I've got to say that while I was thinking "Zombie Sex Club" for the Pa-Renkil scene, you wrote it better than I could ever have imagined, Lash!
You rock!
Posted by MLLASH on :
Great minds think alike!
And flattery will get you everywhere, sir! Thanks!
I was thinking we could throw in a page of Ma Kem too... you wanna field it or you want me to?
Posted by MLLASH on :
Let me do it if I may be so bold... I have this idea and I can't get it out of my head... we can change it if need be...
PAGE 13
Panel 1
caption: Meanwhile...
(scene shows Ma Kem in a large hot-tub type thingie; lots of other vacationers are in there with her)
Ma: And that's how I got over the Oomarrian Plague. I'll tell you what, the cramps are bad enough, but the itching is what REALLY gets to you!
Panel 2
(a few less people in hot-tub)
Ma: Has anyone ever had space-fatigue? My space-fatigue is chronic. The doctors say I don't get enough iron in my diet, but I told those quacks to stuff it, because I eat at least one iron a week-- sometimes two!
Panel 3
(only 3 others remain in hot-tub with Ma; she is holding one leg up pointed towards the 3)
Ma: Last year when I had the pain plague, the pain was so intense I pushed my husband down the cellar stairs! That's what my lawyer said, anyway. I've actually got a touch of it now, but it seems to have localized in my feet. This hot-tub sure seems to help, though!
Panel 4
(no one but Ma in hot-tub)
Ma: *sigh!*
Panel 5
off-panel voice: May I join you...?
Ma: *gasp!!*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
So, do I get the write the next page, or do you have someone in mind that you want entering that hot tub?
Posted by MLLASH on :
Actually I do have a certain femizon ex-wife in mind, but I think now's a good time to segue into the next Tenz/Taryn/Lester scenario!
(translation: go Eryk go!)
[ February 05, 2004, 09:07 PM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 14
Panel 1
Tenzil: So, I still think challenging Evillo to a debate and getting him to confess is our best option!
Taryn: What about my plan?
Panel 2
Tenzil: I just don't think we can pass Lester off as being an agent of the Bismollian Scientific Advisory Council who's checking up on your father's "experiments". First off, he's not Bismollian.
Panel 3
Taryn: That didn't stop him from being employed as a governmental courier.
Panel 4
Tenzil: Well, let's just suppose he get into Evillo's castle. What does he do then?
Taryn: Snoop around, of course!
Tenzil: And you think Evillo's going to let a Bismollian government agent snoop around his castle?
Panel 5
Lester has been reading a news paper the whole time. The panel reveals that he's looking at an ad advertising tryouts for the Devil's Dozen.
Lester: Hmm... I think I've got an idea...
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
Oh, I LOVE where this is going! More soon, I hope!
Posted by MLLASH on :
Eryk, if you don't mind, take another page so I can get a better feel of this scene... (my initial ideas included Tenzil-- in disguise at the tryout-- smashing Evillo in the face with a pie. Not sure if you wanna go that route)
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
I'll post some more this weekend. I know what I want to do with it, but I'm just not really sure how things are going...
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Dear writing staff,
As your biggest fan, I hope you don't mind if I ask you a fanboy question. But, can we have a steamy sex scene ?
Cobalt from Connecticut
Posted by MLLASH on :
Doesn't Evillo staring sensually at Taryn's visage in the monitor count...?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
How about the Zombie lap dance?
That's pushing the envelope far enough for one issue, methinks!
Posted by MLLASH on :
*tee hee!*
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
That was pretty hysterical ! I was laughing out loud at that!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Okay, so if we're going to show a Ma-Thora meeting, I think we have to do that before the actual tryout scenes, since those are supposed to take place the next day.
So if you want to write that next, go ahead Lash.
I'm thinking a 2-3 page hot tub scene, then the remaining 5-6 pages will be Tenzil and Taryn trying to infiltrate the tryouts, and will end with the big cliffhanger where they've been found out...
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Next Issue Title: "Tartar Us!"
Posted by MLLASH on :
Will Thora meeting Ma mess up any plans? 'Cause I really wasn't sure where Thora's appearance was leading...
go on ahead with the tryout scene, and I'll think of someone else to be joining Ma in that tub... actually, I already HAVE and I'm HELLA-EXCITED....! It's so kewl we gotta save it for the end of the book...!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 15
Panel One
(Applicants gathered at Evillo's palace awaiting tryout, once again, with the two Zombie's from last issue overlooking them from the same balcony again)
Zombie #1: Well, Wheez, what do you think of today's applicants? Do you think any will be lost to the Realm of Darkness?
Zombie #2: I do believe, my dear Hakk, that our loss would be the Realm of Darkness's loss as well!
Panel Two
(Evillo is interviewing an extremely attractive female applicant)
Evillo: So, first up, I see, we have here Two-Face Tess? Well, it's got a nice villainous ring to it if nothing else... What do you do?
Panel Three
Two-Face Tess: Allow me to demonstrate...
Panel Four
(Two-Face Tess pulls off her face, revealing a more hideous visage underneath!)
Two-Face Tess (the voice coming from the face that has been "pulled off": Witness my unique ability to remove my beautiful outer appearance, revealing my inner monster!
Panel Five
Evillo: Ha! I think you'll fit right in with my Elite Royal Guard!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 16
Panel 1
Wheez: Well well well. No banishment to the Realm of Darkness. Is it petty of me to be disappointed...?
Panel 2
Hakk: Who cares if you're petty? You're a re-animated rotting corpse.
Panel 3
Wheez: Gee, thanks for reminding me. I'd almost forgotten. Jerk.
Panel 4
Hakk: Settle down or we're going to miss something fun! Hey, get a load of the two idiots in the tin cans!
Panel 5
(shows 2 applicants in pathetic-looking old-fashioned robot suits, one male and one VERY female)
Panel 6
Hakk: What do girl robots need mammaries for?
Panel 7
Wheez: (looking at "robots") I smell a banishment!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 17
Panel 1
Evillo: Who's next?
Applicant: I'm Degree Damsel! I can alter the temperature of anything!
Panel 2
Evillo: Ah, yes, I can feel it getting hotter in here...
Degree Damsel: But, I, uh, haven't used my power yet!
Panel 3
Evillo: Oh, don't worry about that... I think you'll be perfect for my Devil's Harem... I mean... Dozen!
Panel 4
"Miss Terious": What a pig! Are you ready?
"Sir Prize": Yep. Though I think we should have made your metal breasts larger!
Panel 5
Miss Terious: You are SO looking to get a beating when this is over with, aren't you?
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 18
Panel 1
Evillo: (to Degree Damsel) Hakk will show you to your new quarters, my dear. Very luxurious and right next to my own.
Panel 2
Evillo: Which one of you idiots is next? Let's speed this up, I have a date!
Panel 3
Sir Prize: It is I, your royal evilish-ness!
Evillo: And you are...?
Panel 4
Sir Prize: I am Sir Prize!
Evillo: And your special ability is...?
Panel 5
(Tenzil smashes a pie in Evillo's face)
Panel 6
Sir Prize: Surprised you, didn't it? That's my special gift!
Panel 7
(Evillo looking enraged, cream dripping from face)
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 19
Panel 1
Miss Terious: Wait! It's not just him! We're a team!
Evillo: Oh, grife...!
Panel 2
Evillo: So, who are you?
Miss Terious: I'm Miss Terious!
Panel 3
Evillo: And what, pray tell, is your power?
Miss Terious: I can't reveal it!
Panel 4
Evillo: And why not?
Miss Terious: Becuase it's a mystery, of course! That's why they call me Miss Terious!
Panel 5
Evillo: Well, how do I know you have any powers at all?
Miss Terious: Hmm... I'll need an object to demonstrate... how about that medallion you're wearing?
Panel 6
Miss Terious: Watch as I make the medallion mysteriously disappear!
Panel 7
Caption: Miss Terious spins around, and the medallion is gone!
Evillo: *gasp*! What happened to it?
Miss Terious: *gulp* *swallow* It must remain a mystery!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 20
Panel 1
Evillo: (obviously staring at Miss Terious' giant breasts) You will make a fine addition to my Devil's Dozen!
Panel 2
Miss Terious: Fantastic!
Panel 3
Evillo: Your cretinous partner, however, shall be banished to the Realm of Darkness!
Panel 4
Sir Prize: Jumping fishooks!
Panel 5
(Lester dashes into room)
Lester: NooooOOOOoooo!!!
Panel 6
(Lester smashes Evillo with a sack full of coins)
Panel 7
(Evillo lies bloodied and unconscious on the floor)
Lester: UH oh....! Did I blow it...?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 21
Panel 1
Lotus Fruit Lass (to the rest of the Devil's Dozen): Get them!
Panel 2
(Shows Wild Huntsman lassoing "Miss Terious")
Wild Huntsman: I think this about wraps up your audition!
Panel 3
(Shows Sugyn exhaling a massive water blast at "Sir Prize")
Sugyn: It looks like your all washed up!
Panel 4
(Apollo walks over to Lester)
Lester: Y- you're the most beautiful man I've ever seen!
Apollo: Come over here, and let's sit and talk for awhile.
Panel 5
(Lester walks over to sit beside Apollo)
Panel 6
(Stick With A Nail In It Kid bashes Lester over the head)
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 22
(splash page; showing the Devil's Dozen standing over Sir Prize, Miss Terious & Lester victoriously; Wheez is helping the bloodied & cream-covered Evillo stand)
Evillo: Sieze them and prepare them for banishment!!! And... someone fetch me an aspirin... STAT!
NEXT ISSUE:
That's the Night That The Lights Went Out in The Realm of Darkness!
Two chicks in a hot-tub!
Pa scars Renkil for life!
Miss it not, effendi! Stuff said! Posted by MLLASH on :
Issue 3 is done. What's the verdict, Eryk?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Not bad! My favorite scenes are where Evillo's naming all the members of the Devil's Dozen that aren't there anymore and the Zombie lap dance!
Posted by MLLASH on :
I like the zombie lap dance and Tenz & Taryn as Sir Prize and Miss Terious! I also thought the Tenzil/Lester talk was well done.
My verdict: We're jeenyuses, worthy of being recognized and celebrated!
Soooo... shall we go ahead with issue 4...?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
You want to open with the hot tub scene?
Posted by MLLASH on :
You read my mind!
Script for MATTER-EATER LAD: The Series # 4
PAGE 1
Panel 1
(shows Ma in hot-tub)
off-panel voice: May I join you?
Panel 2
Ma: But aren't you afraid you might catch the pain plague or Rigellian fever?
Panel 3
(shows shapely legs entering the hot tub with Ma)
off-panel voice: Not a bit.
Panel 4
Ma: Well, I must say it's a pleasure to meet you. Most people don't want to be around me when they hear about the unfortunate troubles I've had.
off-panel voice: I've had my share of troubles too.
Panel 5
Ma: Such a sweetheart. What is your name?
Panel 6
(the speaker is revealed)
My name is Drura, but some call me Infectious Lass.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE TWO
SPLASH PAGE
Title: The Night the Lights Went Out in the Realm of Darkness!
(Tenzil, Taryn, and Lester are chained to the wall. Evillo is taunting them.)
Evillo: At last, the elusive Senator Kem! And I believed you were going to be far harder to kill than your predecessors! But you walked right into my castle! What a moron!
Tenzil: *Gasp* What are you going to do to us?
[ March 13, 2004, 05:48 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
Evillo: GOOD? GOOD? It's horrendous! It's SO impossibly NOT good!
Tenzil: Are you going to torture us? Shove bamboo under our fingernails? Stretch us on a rack? For the luvva Fred, man-- what's going to happen??!
Panel 3
Taryn: Shut UP, Tenzil!
Tenzil: Well, I wanted to be prepared is all.
Panel 4
Evillo: Hmmmm... bamboo under the fingernails... Maybe next time. For now, banishment to the Realm of Darkness will suffice.
Panel 5
(horns sprout from Evillo's head)
Tenzil: Jiminy Jillikers!
Lester: That's SO GROSS!
Taryn: *sigh*
Panel 6
Evillo: BEGGONE!!!!
(Evillo zaps them)
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE FOUR
Panel 1
Darkness
Panel 2
Darkness
Panel 3
A blurry image of Taryn
Panel 4
(Tenzil sitting up, with Taryn and Lester standing over him)
Tenzil: Popping planets! We're still alive!
Panel 5
Lester: Oh, Tenzil! I'm glad you're okay! I was so scared when that icky guy started sprouting horns from his head!
Panel 6
Taryn: Let's try to figure out where we are.
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 5
Panel 1
darkness
Panel 2
darkness
caption: This is pretty dull.
Panel 3
darkness
Panel 4
darkness
caption: Uhhh... whose hand is that...?
Panel 5
darkness
caption: Sorry! Ummm, I thought that was my... body.
Panel 6
(bright illumination; T T & L shield their eyes)
Tenzil: Jumping fishooks!
Lester: My retinas!
Taryn: What NOW...?!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 6
(Thora and Evillo are dining)
Panel 1
Evillo: So, uh, it's lovely to see you again, dear. You look well.
Thora: Save your flattery for one of your weak and docile Tartaran tramps. I'm here on business.
Panel 2
Evillo: I'd like to think we could mix business and pleasure. After all, we were very close at one time...
Thora: And don't think I've forgotten how you treated me. I hope you don't try something stupid like trying to banish me to the Realms of Darkness again...
Panel 3
Evillo: Why, I don't do that kind of thing any more! I'm a changed man!
Thora: Foolish male! You think you can deceive me with your lies!
Panel 4
Evillo: *Sigh* So what kind of business are you here on?
Thora: Basically, the Sisterhood has decided that it is in our interest to co-operate with you. We know why you've been eliminating Bismollian senators. We want to help.
Panel 5
Evillo: And what do I get out of this?
Thora: We won't enslave you and your entire male population! At least, not yet!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 7
Panel 1
(closeup of face of zombie prostitute)
caption: I just don't think we should do it, Dad! What about Mom? This is being filmed!
Panel 2
(credits are handed to zombie prostitute)
caption: Shut yer trap, boy! Your Ma doesn't care! This li'l undead filly has to earn a living... that's a joke, Son, get it? Undead... earn a living... *Guffaw!* I kill me!
Panel 3
(zombie prostitute getting undressed) caption: Dad... I am NOT going to do this.
Panel 4
(Pa pointing finger Uncle Sam-style)
Pa: Renkil, we gotta do stuff like this to keep the ratings up! You like your fancy new home and your fancy vacations and your fancy hovercars? I want you to get over there with that pretty li'l filly PRONTO. Get her warmed up for me.
Panel 5
Renkil (looking at zombie prostitute): *sigh*
Panel 6
zombie prostitute: Commme onnn overrrr loverrrr...
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Dear writers,
Jeenyus! Pure jeenyus! Sir Prize and Miss Terious were great and this issue looks like it's already shaping up to be the best one! Great stuff, more I say!
-C
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 8
Panel 1
(shadowy lair)
Shadowy Man #3: I just got word from Tartarus! It seems the imbecilic Senator Kem blundered into Prince Evillo's castle!
Panel 2
Shadowy Man #1: Whew! That's a relief! I was afraid we'd be banished to the Realm of Darkness for failing to get him!
Panel 3
(knock on the shadowy door)
Panel 4
Shadowy Man #1: I wonder who that is?
Panel 5
Shadowy Man #1 opens door and is blasted by a ray gun!
Shadowy Man #2: What the...?
Panel 6
Shadowy Man #2 is blasted as well!
Panel 7
Shadowy Woman (to communicator): Azura here. I have suceeded in eliminating Evillo's agents on Bismoll. Now let us pray that Thora has such success in her task!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 9
Panel 1
caption: Meanwhile, back with the guy the book is named after...
(Tenzil is adjusting his sunglasses)
Tenzil: What the sprock happened? It's a good thing my eyes are naturally protected... bless you, Umbra 3000s!
off-panel voice: How are your retinas, little one?
Panel 2
(a handsome fellow is standing beside Lester)
Lester: Give me just a minute... they're starting to adjust...
Taryn: Who are YOU and where are WE?
Panel 3
handsome fellow: I? I am Spandex Dexter! And you just crossed from the Realm of Darkness into the Realm of Bright Lights and Good Times!
Taryn: What the...?
Panel 4
Spandex Dexter: Well, throughout the years, Evillo has banished so many to the Realm of Darkness. I mean, eventually, people HAD to start making improvements and such.
Tenzil: I suppose anything's an improvement on perpetual darkness...
Panel 5
Spandex Dexter: Indeed. Beyond the Realm of Bright Lights and Good Times, we have the Realm of Scantily Clad Overendowed Vixens. Beyond that is the Realm of The Mile-Long Salad Bar, right beside the Realm of the Open Bar and Hover-Pool.
Panel 6
Lester: You mean that other stuff isn't included in the Realm of Good Times...?
Spandex Dexter: (eyeing Lester that way) Well, not everyone's idea of fun includes scantily clad overendowed vixens... little one.
Dexter: I figured as much. So-- why'd ol' horn-head send you guys here anyway...?
Panel 9
Taryn: Good question... one we never did learn the answer to!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Brilliant as ever, Lash! The funny thing is that I started to write a scene in which they met Spandex Dexter, but I wasn't getting anywhere with it, so I ditched to advance the femizon subplot!
Posted by MLLASH on :
You are too kind, sir!
I was a little stuck on what to do with the gang in the Realm of Darkness, but then I decided, Why does the Realm of Darkness have to be a bad place? Evillo never goes there, he doesn't know what it's like there anymore...
As for Spandex Dexter, a name like that just sent my naughty mind wandering...
I'm glad to see you advancing the Thora/femizon subplot, I know you are the King of Tying Stuff Together, and so far so good!
Makes me wish this thing could actually be published one day...
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 10
Panel 1
Spandex Dexter: Well, come on! Have you met Nudelad? He just arrived the other day!
Panel 2
Taryn: Why's he called Nudelad? He isn't nude at all...
Tenzil: Uh, Taryn, you aren't feeling a bit of breeze or anything, are you?
Panel 3
Nudelad: Oops, my powers out of control!
Lester: Eew, gross!
Panel 4
(Taryn quickly ducks behind a strategically placed something or other, rags of clothing hanging off her! Tenz chuckles.)
Taryn: This is not funny!
Panel 5
Tenz: Don't worry, Taryn! I'm sure you'll fit right in once we get to the Realm of Scantily Clad Overendowed Vixens! Except for the overendowed part...
Panel 6
Taryn: Tenzil!
Tenz: I mean, you're kind of just-rightly endowed...
Panel 7
Taryn: TEN-zil!
Tenz: Okay, I'll see what I can do to find you some clothes...
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 11
Panel 1
(T T & L are being escorted by Dexter around town)
caption: And, after Tenzil has kept us from being a "Mature Readers Only" title...
Tenzil: So... you guys have done a swell job with the ol' Realm of Darkness, Dexter... I mean, I had heard HORRIBLE things about this place... and to find it so nice is quite a surprise...
Dexter: Thanks.
Tenzil: ...BUT...
Panel 2
Dexter: But what?
Tenzil: BUT... let's say someone wanted to get back to Tartarus...
Panel 3
Dexter: LEAVE the Realm of Darkness, Bright Lights and Good Times, Scantily Clad Overendowed Vixens, Mile-Long Salad Bar and Open Bar and Hover-Pool to return to that hellhole Tartarus? PERPOSTEROUS!
Panel 4
Tenzil: Well, SURE it is... but let's say someone DID want to do that... how would one go about it?
Panel 5
Dexter: Well... I suppose they would need to venture to the Realm of Returning to the Place You Were Before Evillo Banished You.
Panel 6
(Tenzil, Taryn & Lester look at each other all confused-like)
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 12
Panel 1
Dexter: Of course, the Realm of Returning to the Place You Were Before Evillo Banished You is apparently just a myth. I have yet to meet anyone whose been to that realm!
Panel 2
Taryn: But couldn't that be because the people who make it there go back where they came from, so you wouldn't meet them...
Panel 3
Dexter: Presposterous! I know every inch of the former Realm of Darkness, now converted into the various other realms, and I've never seen such a place!
Panel 4
Tenzil: *Gasp* Could it be there's no way out?
Lester: It's not so bad... at least we have each other...
Panel 5
Taryn: Oh, brother. So let's check out some of the other realms, already!
Panel 6
Dexter: Follow me. There's someone who live up ahead that I'm sure you'll want to meet...
Taryn: *sigh* I better not end up naked again...
[ March 16, 2004, 07:56 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 13
Panel 1
caption: And in a hut tub on Tartarus, Ma Kem and Infectious Lass get to know one another better...
Drura: So, I'm surprised you don't mind these spy-eye cameras buzzing around you all the time.
Ma: Oh, my stars, no, not a bit.
Panel 2
Drura: (looking concerned) You mean they haven't caused you any Loss of Privacy Brain Fever?
Panel 3
Ma: *gasp!* There's such a thing as Loss of Privacy Brain Fever?
Panel 4
Drura: Oh heavens, yes. It's very prevalent on Overpoppula. Y'know, the tiny, over-populated planetoid.
Ma: Oh my!
Panel 5
Drura: And sadly, LoP-BF is... fatal.
Panel 6
Ma: *GASP!!*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 14
Panel 1
(Evillo and Thora are on a balcony...)
Evillo: I have to admit... I have missed you... your smile... your beautiful blue eyes...
Thora: So... what's your decision? Cooperation, or total enslavement?
Panel 2
Evillo: Thora, dear. There is no reason we have to be enemies... I'd love for us to work together...
Panel 3
Thora: Then, cretinous male, I will spare your life! You've taken care of the current Senator from Littleburg, I take it?
Evillo: He has been banished to the Realm of Darkness, my dear!
Panel 4
Thora: You said you didn't do that anymore.
Evillo: Er... only in the most extreme cases, my dear!
Panel 5
Thora: So, when will you be recovering the artifact?
Evillo: Just as soon as I have my full Devil's Dozen assembled! We're holding a tryout for new members tomorrow!
[ March 17, 2004, 07:12 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 15
Panel 1
caption: Man, that was some fine zombie tail!
(scene shows Renkil looking shell-shocked, sitting on side of bed)
Panel 2
caption: C'mere, baby... gimme a li'l kissy before we have to cut out.
(scene shows Renkil stumbling to bathroom)
Panel 3
caption: Yeah... you like that don't you? What's your name anyway?
(scene shows Renkil tossing his cookies in hover-toilet)
Panel 4
caption: Myyyy nammmme issss Velvetttt.
(Renkil continues to hurl)
Panel 5
caption: They named you right, baby. I'll bet you were soft as velvet back when you were alive. C'MON RENKIL! Time to blow this joint, boy!
(Renkil stumbling from bathroom)
Panel 6
Pa: What's yer damage, boy? Let's go.
Renkil: I'm not going with you, Dad.
Panel 7
Pa: Oh! You wanna 'nother round with Miss velvet, huh?
Renkil: Dad-- get the HELL away from me.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 16
Panel 1
Tenzil: So this is the Realm of Scantily Clad Overendowed Vixens, eh?
Dexter: Yep. I'm taking you to meet our king... he's the prisoner whose been here the longest.
Panel 2
Lester: Uh... are we going to drop by that mile long salad bar anytime soon? I'm kind of hungry.
Panel 3
Tenzil: Here, have some pebbles...
Lester: Uh, Tenzie-pooh...
Panel 4
Tenzil: Oh, yeah, I forgot... Well, maybe this King guy'll have some food you can eat... Hmm... I wonder how they keep that mile long salad fresh anyway?
Panel 5
(Dexter kneels in front of the king, who is seated on a throne surrounded by scantily clad over endowed vixens)
King: Greetings. I am King Malefico, ruler of Tartarus!
[ March 17, 2004, 07:50 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 17
Panel 1
Lester: Ruler of Tartarus? Pish-posh! Everyone knows Evillo rules Tartarus.
Panel 2
Taryn: Maybe they've changed the name of The Realm of Darkness to New Tartarus?
Panel 3
Tenzil: If it was up to me, I'd call it The Realm of Many Realms. Catchy, no?
Taryn & Lester: No.
Panel 4
Malefico: If I could get a word in edgewise...?
Panel 5
Lester: This bites. I'm hungry. And I wouldn't refuse a stiff drink either. I'm bored. This place is boring!
Taryn: Quit whining, Lester. None of us are happy about this...
Tenzil: Well, it beats rubbing my Mom's feet...
Panel 6
Malefico: SILENCE, fools!!!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Wow! I can't believe we have only five pages left for this issue!
Posted by MLLASH on :
Jillikers! And I wanted 1 more page for Ma/Drura. It'll keep 'til next issue, though!
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
Dear writers,
More! More! More!
yours, IB
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 18
Panel 1
Malefico: Perhaps my story is best told to those with such short attention spans with the help of a visual aid!
Panel 2
Malefico: See as my servant Camera-Eye Kid projects the image of me as rightful ruler of Tartarus!
Panel 3
Malefico: Here I am with my wife, Queen Obnoxia, as we celebrate the birth of our eldest son, Evillo!
Panel 4
(shows Malefico dangling young Evillo over a large pit, Michael Jackson-style)
Malefico: Here we are on a family vacation, when Evillo was just two years old!
Panel 5
Malefico: Here's young Evillo's seventh birthday party! He and his friend are playing cut the tail off a donkey!
Panel 6
(The donkey kicks little Evillo, and he flies through the air)
Malefico: Ha! Evillo was never very good at that game!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 19
Panel 1
Malefico: Here we are at Evillo's High-School graduation-- he finished in the upper 80% of his class! I was so proud!
Panel 2
Lester: (whispering to Tenzil) This movie sucks!
Tenzil: Chill, Les... let's see where it's going...
Panel 3
Malefico: Ah! And here is where Evillo first sprouted his Horns of Power-- I was so proud of him!
(scene shows Evillo in back-seat of Hover-Car with a date)
Panel 4
Lester: Yuck!
Tenzil: Tartaran rites of passage are so twisted!
Taryn: Shhhhh!
Panel 5
Malefico: Hmmmph. And here is my greatest disappointment-- My own son uses his Horns of Power to banish me to the Realm of Darkness! Thank Beelzebub his Mother wasn't alive to see this!
Lester: Did you kill her?
Panel 6
Malefico: Of course, when Evillo was still in High School.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 20
Panel 1
Malefico: So... that's it! I'm the rightful ruler of Tartarus, unjustly deposed by my treachorous son, and you folks have come here to rescue me from my imprisonment and restore me to the throne!
Panel 2
Lester: Rescue you?
Taryn: Uh... actually we were kind of hoping you could help us find our way out of here...
Panel 3
Malefico: Oh... you just need to go to the Realm of Returning to the Place You Were Before Evillo Banished You!
Tenzil: But we heard that place was just a myth!
Panel 4
Malefico: Oh, I just tell people that, on account of the fact that our entire civilization would collapse if anyone actually left the Realm of Darkness!
Panel 5
Taryn: So, if you know where it is, why do you need us to rescue you?
Panel 6
Malefico: Well, there's a simple explanation for that...
[ March 21, 2004, 10:22 AM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 21
Panel 1
Tenzil: And that simple explanation is...?
Malefico: I'm an absolute monarch, moron. I don't get dirt under my nails... ever. I've got peons like yourselves to sully your hands with the nasty business.
Panel 2
Taryn: And the "nasty business" is overthrowing your son?
Malefico: The nasty business will be the complete and total annihilation of my son! And you 3 will be my regents!
Panel 3
Lester: And if we refuse?
Malefico: Then I have you seized, chained, and beheaded. I will allow the space-chickens to peck at your severed heads and will peel the flesh from your bodies and sell it in The Realm of Thrifty Shopping. Your torsos will be diced and placed in the Mile-Long Salad Bar. And then, things will get REALLY ugly. Trust me, it's in everyone's best interest that you do my bidding.
Panel 4
(the gang converses in a huddle)
Panel 5
Tenzil: We'll do it!
Malefico: I thought you might.
Panel 6
Malefico: (to random vixen) Assemble the League of Scantily-Clad Overendowed Assassins! We leave shortly!
Panel 7
Taryn: (whispers to Lester) And this time, Lester-- STICK to the PLAN-- or ELSE. NO heavy-sack beatings until WE give the word.
Lester: Gotya.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 22
Panel 1
Caption: Soon our heroes, the tyrant Malefico, and the League of Scantily-Clad Overendowed Assassins are assembled in the Realm of Returning to the Place you were Before Evillo Banished You!
Panel 2
Tenzil: So, what happens now?
Malefico: We pull this switch... which drains all power from all over the former Realm of Darkness and converts it to energy that will transport all of us back to Tartarus!
Panel 3
Taryn: Hmm... so that's what you meant by causing the entire civilation to collapse... no power, no bright lights and good times!
Tenzil: And I bet the mile-long salad will spoil as well!
Panel 4
(flilps the switch)
Malefico: This is of no concern to us!
Panel 5
(there's a bright light as they are all teleported away!)
Panel 6
(focuses on Dexter as everything starts to go dark in the Realm of Bright Lights and Good Times...)
Panel 7
Darkness.
Panel 8
Caption: Next Issue... Tartar us, will you?
[ March 21, 2004, 11:04 AM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
And that's another one under the belt!
Posted by MLLASH on :
We rock! Gotta reread the entire issue, then hit the SPOILER thread!
(and you start the next issue whenever! I'm ready to roll out another blockbuster issue!)
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
MATTER-EATER LAD: THE SERIES ISSUE #5
PAGE 1
Panel 1
(a corporate office on Bismol)
Exec #1: Sir, the ratings for the past few episodes of Kem Family and Friends have been dismal...
Exec #2: Oh?
Panel 2
(shows Tenz being banished to the Realm of Darkness)
Caption: Our star keeps disappearing for days at a time on so-called "offical senate business".
Panel 3
(shows Taryn and Lester)
Caption: Furthermore, he keeps taking Taryn, the most popular member of the cast, and Lester, who has his own devoted minority of fans, with him.
Panel 4
(shows Pa and Renkil with zombie prostitute)
Caption: Recent episodes have focused almost entirely on Pa and Renkil, and, quite frankly, viewers are more disgusted by their antics than anything else...
Panel 5
(Shows Ma and Drura in hot tub)
Caption: I think our best bet is to focus this week's episode on Ma and her new friend, but we really need our star back, or this show may be in danger of cancellation!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 2
Panel 1 (a small top-corner panel)
Exec # 2: Cancellation? NoooOOOooo! Do a close-up on that hot-tub-- NOW!!!
Drura: ...And so, since my people have absolute control over every known form of disease, bacteria and viruses in the galaxy, we tend to be feared and loathed. Anyhoo, I started to feel a little enclosed on Somahtur, so I ditched the planet and came to this groovy health spa.
Ma: And befriended me! And I'm so glad you did! Honestly, I can't imagine anyone fearing and loathing you.
Dura: Gosh! I didn't tell you about that time I tried out for the Legion! They REALLY loathe me over there!
Ma: LEGION??!?! My son is a former Legionnaire.... employee!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 3
Panel 1
(Pulls back to the shadowy femizon lair!)
Azura: Hmm... this Somahturian is an interesting female. Perhaps we should enlist her in our cause!
Woman #3: I am worried about our chosen champion.
Panel 2
Azura: Worried about Loy? She should be fine. Or are you really worried about her male friend?
Woman #3: Well, I'll admit. I do find him strangely interesting. For a male, that is!
Panel 3
Azura: I suspected as much. You'll be happy to know that our agents in the Realm of Darkness have reported that Loy and Kem are both safe, and should be returning to Tartarus very soon.
Woman #3: *Whew*!
Panel 4
Azura: The plans of the Sisterhood are in full swing! Already, we have control of Taltar and Femnaz, and your homeworld of Titan is nearly in our grasp. Seizing Tartarus should be as easy as pluberry pie!
Panel 5
Woman #3: Only if Thora can convince Taryn Loy to cooperate, though...
Azura: Of course she'll help us, Eve! She's a female!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 4
Panel 1
POP!
Tenzil: (speaks the title): Tartar US, will you?
Panel 2
Taryn: We're back-- in Evillo's dungeon!
Lester: Where's Evillo's Pops and those big-boobs girls?
Panel 3
Taryn: We all must have reappeared in the exact spot we were when Evillo banished us-- Suffering Sasquatch!! Who knows WHERE Malefico and his Assassin Harem ended up!
Panel 4
Tenzil: Well. THIS complicates things.
Panel 5
Shirley the zombie maid: I THOUGHT I heard noises! HELP!! HELP!!! There's fleshy pink malcontents loose down here!
Tenzil: Crap. Now things are REALLY complicated!
[ March 22, 2004, 12:34 PM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 5
--coming soon!--
Posted by MLLASH on :
Mmm Hm. I'll bet that if we were getting PAID for this, you'd have your page turned in already.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Yes.
Posted by MLLASH on :
Hack!
Posted by MLLASH on :
Jeebus, Eryk!!!! Our salivating fans await!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 5
Panel 1
Taryn: Tenz, if I boost you up, can you eat through the bars on the window?
Tenzil: Piece of cake!
Panel 2
(Taryn give Tenz a boost, and he starts eating the bars
Panel 3
(After one bite, Tenz has an odd look on his face, and spits out what he has just eaten. The ends of the bars are glowing purple where he bit into them)
Tenz: Yuck! That tastes awful!
Taryn: Tenz! That purple glow...!
Panel 4
(Taryn let Tenz down and he crumples on the floor)
Tenz: I don't feel so good...
Taryn: Damn! The bars are made of magnozite! The one substance that even Bismollians can't eat!
Panel 5
Lester: Are you okay, hon?
Tenz: Uuuuuhhhhh...
Panel 6
Taryn: I don't think he ate enough to cause serious poisoning, but he'll be sick for awhile...
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 6
Panel 1
Shirley: Won't someone PLEASE help! These crazy heart-pumping fleshbags are running amok and eating stuff! It's pure higgledy-piggledy down here! SriEEEEEK!
Panel 2
Lester: That's QUITE enough outta YOU, sister! (he hurls a pearl necklace)
Panel 3
(the necklace loops around Shirley's neck; her head pops off)
Shirley: *GaKK!*
Panel 4
Taryn: Lethal force, Lester?
Lester: Jeebus! I didn't mean to kill it-- I just wanted it to quit shrieking!
Tenzil: *heh* That was... kewl... *HURRL!*
Panel 5
Taryn: Dagnabbit, Tenzil!
Tenzil: Can't help... *HURRL!* ...it!
Lester: Someone's coming!
Panel 6
Taryn: And WE'RE going! (she smashes a wall down)
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 7
Panel 1
(Taryn bursts through the walls of the dungeon to find... another dungeon cell!)
Taryn: Ah... grife!
Panel 2
Taryn (to Lester): You take care of Tenzil, I'm going to see what's above us!
Panel 3
(Taryn leaps and burst through the ceiling!)
Panel 4
(Taryn finds herself in Evillo's bedroom! Fortunately, Evillo is nowhere to be seen... though interesting sounds seem to be coming through the wall...)
Panel 5
(Taryn looks down through the hole in the floor at Lester holding the ill Tenzil.)
Panel 6
(Taryn searches Evillo's drawers for something she can lower down to Lester and Tenzil)
Panel 7
(Taryn pulls Tenzil up using Evillo's bathrobe)
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 8
Panel 1
Apollo: You! How did you escape the Realm of Darkness?
Lester: DAMN! It's that hypnotic good-looking guy!
Panel 2
Taryn: (from above) NO, Lester!! Grab the robe NOW!
Panel 3
Apollo: Why would he want to do that? He wants to stay here with me... don't you, Lester? The fun we could have spending your fortune... the exotic male strip clubs-- the clothes-optional casinos-- Paris! Ventura! The Puppet Planetoid! The mind reels! Stay with me, Lester.
Lester: I... I...
Panel 4
Tenzil: (from above) Les! Don't abandon us, dude! We need you... *HURRL!*
Taryn: Dagnabbit!!!
Panel 5
Apollo: Come HERE, Lester... NOW!
Lester: Yes, master...
Panel 6
Lester: Since it will allow me to get close enough to do... THIS! (Lester konks Apollo on the head with a gold brick)
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 9
Panel 1
(The remainder of the Devil's Dozen [Lotus Fruit Lass, The Wild Huntsman, Stick With A Nail in It Kid, Sugyn, and Two-Face Tess] enter!)
Lotus Fruit Lass: Get him!
Panel 2
(Two-Face Tess pulls off her face!)
Lester: Eeeewwww!
Panel 3
(As Lester collapses in disgust, Sugyn sits on him! Meanwhile, the LFL, SWANITK, and Wild Hunstman head for the stairs!)
Lotus-Fruit Lass: You two keep this one captive, we'll go after the other two!
Panel 4
Tenzil: Willikers! They've got Lester! What are we gonna do, Taryn?
Panel 5
(Taryn looks around the room)
Taryn: Get me a sec...
Panel 6
(Taryn barricades the door with Evillo's giant bed!)
Taryn: This will slow them down!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 10
Panel 1
caption: meanwhile, in the hot-tub...
Drura: Well! Your son... Denzel was it? ...he sounds like a real kewl parakat!
Ma: Tenzil. And oh my, YES, he is! I actually have another son, too, but he was never a Legionnaire... or even employed by the Legion. He was always so jealous of Tenzil...
Panel 2
(POP! sound effect, as a random Scantily Clad Overendowed Assassin appears out of nowhere while Ma & Drura look on)
Panel 3
(the SCOA dashes off)
Drura: Hmm. That was unexpected.
Ma: And speaking of unexpected-- here comes son # 2 right now!
Panel 4
(Renkil fuming as he passes by the hot tub)
Ma: Renkil! I have someone I want you to meet, darling...
Renkil: Not naw, Ma!
Panel 5
Ma: My stars! What could have gotten into that lad? He's usually slightly less rude than that.
Drura: Think nothing of it, sweetie. I'll meet him later. So, how long are you guys planning to be here?
Panel 6
Ma: I... I don't know. Tenzil aranged all this with his friends Taryn and Nancy. Come to think of it, I haven't seen any of them around lately...
Drura: Oh? Sounds a bit space-fishy.
MA: Yes... yes it does, at that...
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 11
Panel 1
Caption: Back in Evillo's bedchambers...
Tenzil: Are you sure that will keep them out?
Taryn: We'll see...
Panel 2
(The Devil's Dozen burst through another door behind Tenz and Taryn!)
Panel 3
Taryn: Grife! I must have barricaded the closet! I always do that!
Panel 4
(Lotus Fruit Lass uses her power...)
Tenzil: Oh... I am so going to be sick...
Panel 5
(Taryn picks up Stick With a Nail In It Kid and uses him and throws him at the Wild Huntsman)
Taryn: I'll be with you in a sec, Tenz!
Panel 6
(Taryn punches Lotus Fruit Lass, but Tenz remains crouched on floor puking)
Taryn: You okay, Kem?
Tenz: Uhhhh... yeah... go... save... Les... ter...
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 12
Panel 1
caption: Meanwhile, under Sugyn...
Lester: It's not that I mind being on the bottom, but THIS is mortifying!
Sugyn: Shaddup, kid!
Panel 2
Lester: What's Evillo paying you, fat boy?
Sugyn: Not enough to listen to your sorry-ass whining!
Panel 3
Lester: Oh yeah? Well, I'll TRIPLE it!
Tess: Your sorry-ass whining?
Panel 4
No, Trish, or whatever your name is... I'll triple whatever Evillo's paying you to join up with ME!
Panel 5
(Tess & Sugyn look at each other grinning)
Panel 6
(Sugyn rises off Lester)
Sugyn: Creds up front?
Panel 7
Lester: I'd like you to meet your new best friend... (pulls out huge pile of credits, seemingly from nowhere) Buttloada Moolah, meet chubby!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 13
Panel 1
Two-Face Tess: Hey! You can't just quit the Devil's Dozen!
Panel 2
(begin to peel face off)
Sugyn: Oh, no you don't!
Panel 3
(Sugyn hits her with a big gush of water!)
Lester: Cool!
Panel 4
(Taryn runs in)
Taryn: Hold on, Lester! I'll take out fatso!
Lester: Wait!
Panel 5
(Taryn leaps to take Sugyn down with a flying kick)
Panel 6
(Taryn's kick connects with Sugyn)
Lester: No, Taryn! He's on our side now!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 14
Panel 1
Sugyn: Sheesh, lady! Those feet could kill a guy!
Lester: I keep trying to get her to use the full-body deoderatron...
Sugyn: Huh? That's not what I... oh, never mind.
Panel 2
Taryn: Okaaaaay... I don't have time to ask a lot of questions... so if you're with me, let's grab Tenzil and get the SPROCK out of here... if you're against me, prepare for a pounding.
Panel 3
Lester: We're with you, now let's GO!
Panel 4
Sugyn: (whispers to Lester) Blazing Bigfoot! Is she always like this?
Lester: This is a actually a good day!
Panel 5
caption: And lo and behold, before you can say "I want my money back"...
(scene shows the gang busting out!)
Taryn: I hear something... the sounds of battle...!
Lester: Sounds more like earthquake beasts making love to me...!
Sugyn: It's... Evillo! And-- is that--? NO! It can't be---!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 15
Panel One
(Evillo comes out of the room next door to his bedroom wearing nothing but his cape and boxer shorts with little devils on them! His horns are fully out!)
Evillo: What's going on here?
Panel Two
(Degree Damsel, also in a state of undress, comes out behind him)
DD: Oh! Who are these people, your highness?
Evillo: How did you escape from the Realm of Darkness? Bah! No matter! Sugyn! Capture them!
Panel Three
(Sugyn looks unsure of what to do...)
Sugyn: Uhhhh...
Panel Four
Evillo: You imbecile! Don't just stand there looking dumb! Bah! I'll take care of them myself!
Panel Five
(Evillo prepares to zap T, T, & L!)
Panel Six
(Suddenly Evillo is hit from behind by one of the Overendowed Assassin chicks!)
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 16
Panel 1
Evillo: Who DARES strike me from behind-- NO! Not YOU!!!
Panel 2
Evillo: Breasticca! FREE! Then that means--
Breasticca: CORRECT, wretched one!
Panel 3
(Breasticca is joined by the other Overendowed Assassins)
Breasticca: ALL of your formerly banished wives and girlfrinds are BACK!
Evillo: Mammarress! Melony! Juggsella! And the others whose names I never learned...! NoooOOOOoooo!
Panel 4
Juggsella: DESTROY him!
voice from behind: HALT!
Panel 5
Evillo: NOOOOOOOOOOO!
Malefico: Yes, wayward son. I am back. BACK to claim what is MINE!
Panel 6
Lester (to Tenzil): What a bunch of drama queens!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 17
Panel 1
(Evillo presses a button on his cape)
Evillo: Devil's Dozen! To me!
Panel 2
Evillo: Uh... Hello?
Panel 3
(Presses other button on cape)
Evillo: Bah! Zombie Army! To me!
Panel 4
(Zombie Army rushes in)
Evillo: Get them!
Panel 5
(Zombie army and Overendowed Assasin chicks begin fighting)
Posted by MLLASH on :
I have tried to post the next frigging page TWICE and get a "parenthesis not allowed in HTML" error!!!!!!
ARRRRRGH!!!!!!!!
Posted by MLLASH on :
So let's try it again without using ANY naughty parentheses...
PAGE FREAKIN' 18
Freakin' Panel 1
*random zombie head flies by*
Lester: Well, this is better than that home-movie Malefico made us watch!
Tenzil: It's certainly making ME feel better!
Taryn: Things are coming to a head-- a BIG one. Maybe we better cut bait, grab Tenz' family and get the sprock off-planet!
Sugyn: I'm coming with you!
Panel 2
*the gang of 4 runs down a corridor*
Panel 3
*the gang stops, shocked*
off-panel voice: HALT, cretinous males! And Taryn Loy!
Panel 4
Thora: As you can see, I've gathered some acquaintances of yours-- once I could tear them away from their hot-tubs, prostitutes and whatnot!
*Ma, Pa & Drura stand behind Thora-- Renkil is absent*
Panel 5
Ma: Tenzil! What in the name of the inedible nebula is going ON here?
Panel 6
Drura: *whispers to Ma* Just play along... I told you, you're safe with me...
Panel 7
Pa: YOU! Quit whispering stuff to MY WIFE!
Panel 8
*Drura looks at Pa angrily*
Panel 9
Pa: Urrrk! *clutches stomach*
Drura: Don't YELL at me-- OR her-- AGAIN, or I turn it UP a notch. Understand?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 19
Panel 1
Taryn: Uh... what's going on here? Who are you, and what's with dragging Tenz's parents here to the castle?
Panel 2
Thora: I am Thora of Taltar. On my world, which the robot space probes of the United Planets contacted only a month ago, we have a superior matriarchal society! Women rule!
Panel 3
Lester: Eeeew! Women are icky!
Thora: Silence! Your insolence only shows the corruption of your male-dominated society! On my world, you would be lucky to get a place in the auxillary harem of a poor woman!
Panel 4
Tenzil: Tittering teakettles! Can we just get just get an explanation of what's going on here?
Panel 5
Thora: Yes. Quite simply, I am about to take control of the planet Tartarus, and liberate the enslaved females of this world. And you three are going to help me.
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 20
Panel 1
Taryn: I'll be damned if I'll become another pawn in another ridiculous coup attempt!
Tenzil: GET her, Taryn!
Panel 2
Thora: STOP! Or I shall use my power-bracelet to radically boost your power, sending it out of control!
Taryn: Go ahead... I dare ya!
Panel 3
(Thora blasts Taryn)
Thora: Foolish female! We could have been allies! It could have been glorious!
Panel 4
(Taryn looking super-charged)
Panel 5
(Taryn punches Thora, who staggers in front of Drura)
Panel 6
(Drura touches Thora's cheek)
Drura: Have a mild dose of the pain plague, sweets. And all's well that ends well, I suppose!
Thora: Arrrrrgh!
Panel 7
Lester & Tenzil (in unison): Ends WELL? Don't look now, but...
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 21
Panel 1
(A whole bunch of enraged, overly-endowed femizons enter...)
Breastica: What have you done to our mistress, Thora?
Panel 2
Taryn: Thora? But I thought you guys were working with Malefico?
Jugsella: Oh, we were just using him to get out of the Realm of Darkness to help Thora take the throne!
Panel 3
Melony: Yeah, now that we've put him and his pervert son on ice, we're going to install Thora as Empress!
Panel 4
Jugsella: What happened to Thora?
Lester: This icky girl with the mucous hanging off her wiped her cheek and now she's sick and stuff!
Panel 5
Breastica: She took out the mighty Thora of Taltar with one touch? Maybe we should make her queen!
Panel 6
Assorted femizons: Yeah! Yes! Great Idea!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 22
Panel 1
Drura: Me? Queen of Tartarus? Soaring Space-cadets! I just came here to, like, chill out at the spa and all.
Panel 2
Jugsella: As Queen, you could 'chill out at the spa' FOREVER!
Ma: Drura, darling! Please accept their offer! I'm sure things like this don't happen every day.
Drura: Well, I suppose I could mull it over. It seems like a neat chance to do something I've wanted to do ever since I was rejected from the Legion....
Panel 3
Lester: I've had enough. I'm leaving this STUPID planet with it's STUPID realms and STUPID big-boobs girls and STUPID guys with horns and STUPID screaming zombie maids!!
Panel 4
Tenzil: Guess this is our cue to head back to Bismoll. I'm pretty sure I have a ton of Senate stuff piled up to eat.
Panel 5
Taryn: Hello! We never even did what we came here to do in the first place!
Ma: Nonsense! I'm well-rested AND I made a new friend! Pa and Renkil kept busy too... hmmm. Where IS Renkil anyway?
Panel 6
Tenzil: I'm sure he's fine. Leave a message for him at the hotel desk to catch a hover-craft home! Get up, Dad... it's time to go.
Pa: >urrrrk<
Panel 7
*Taryn is watching as everyone else walks off*
Taryn: I'm not believing this... Tenzil? Lester? Jugsella?
Panel 8
Sugyn: So, lady... where does this leave ol' Sugyn...?
Taryn: Like I care.
NEXT ISSUE *if we aren't cancelled following THIS ridiculous issue*!
"Oh YEAH? Well, I'll just form my OWN Legion!!"
[ April 22, 2004, 08:18 PM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
YAY! Our first arc is done!
Posted by MLLASH on :
But... was it any good?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
We'll see what the readers think!
I'm a little worried that the ending was a little sudden (I'm not sure I liked Evillo and Malefico being taken out off-camera), but maybe we can fix the pacing when we revise it.
Let's get started with #6, though! I'm excited!
Posted by MLLASH on :
You want I should do page 1?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
I want!
Posted by MLLASH on :
MATTER-EATER LAD: THE SERIES # 6
PAGE 1
Panel 1
*inside a spacecraft of some sort*
Tenzil: It sure was sweet of that Drura girl to offer Sugyn a place on the new super-team she's forming to serve as champions of Tartarus! She'll make a swell queen of Tartarus. MUCH sweller than that crazy Thora broad!
(Taryn & Lester are looking away from Tenzil, fuming)
Panel 2
Tenzil: And I'm glad Ma and Pa had such a good time on our "vacation" to Tartarus! Although I do wonder where Renkil went. He usually stays glued to Dad's side, getting in trouble constantly. Right, Taryn?
(Taryn & Lester continue fuming in silence)
Panel 3
Tenzil: And jumping fishooks! Things sure got crazy there for a while, what with Evillo and his father Malefico trying to kill each other, only to both be captured by the League of Scantily-Clad Overendowed Assassins. It's a shame we missed that while Taryn was beating up Thora. Right, Lester?
*no response, fuming continues*
Panel 4
Tenzil: And that Realm of Darkness sure was creepy! Although I didn't mind the Realm of Bright Lights and Good Times. My personal preference is to never be blasted by head-horns again, though.
Panel 5
Tenzil: What's REALLY wacky is that our entire trip to Tartarus was ultimately futile and I've started speaking in plot synopses because YOU two are ignoring me.
Panel 6
Taryn & Lester: Shut UP!!
Posted by Mystery Lad on :
Geez, guys... this is funny stuff! I don't know why I haven't read this till now... poo on me.
I *was* waiting for Drura to give Mama Kem a dose of something really nasty... which brings up a semi-serious question. Can Drura 'take away' a disease which she infected/created right away, or does it have to run its natural course? I don't recall this coming up in 'official' stories...
I wish I'd read this before I started using Sugyn in DUELA DOES DALLAS. Maybe I'll make my guy Sugyn's brother...
Anyways, keep up the good work! You've had fun so far and it shows.
TN
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Glad you're enjoying it, Todd!
Uh... Lash, am I suppossed to know why Lester and Taryn are fuming at Tenzil?
Posted by MLLASH on :
Here's how I see it....
Lester's pissed off because he's hungry, tired and hasn't been able to spend any quality time with Tenzil.
Taryn's pissed off because the mission to Tartarus was a colossal failure and no one seems to care but her.
Oh, and Todd-- THANKS, man!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 2
Panel 1
Tenzil: Suffering Sasquatch, guys! I don't even know why y'all are mad at me!
Panel 2
Lester: Well, for starters, I've been starved since before we started watching that boring home movie back on Tartarus, and the in-transit space food this shuttle leaves much to be desired.
Panel 3
Lester: Then there's the fact that I thought we'd get to spend some quality time together on vacation. But no! Your mom gets to lounge around in a space-spa the whole time, and I get thrown in some creepy dungeon and sat upon by an old fat man! Not to mention the other horrors...
Panel 4
Lester: I've done nothing but selflessly devote myself to you since we've met, Tenzil Kem. And yet I feel like you are not giving me the attention and consideration I deserve. You haven't even tried to kiss me, once! A boy wants to feel wanted, and I'm starting to feel like this relationship is completely one-sided.
Panel 5
Lester: I need to know where I stand with you, Tenzil Kem.
Tenzil: Well, jeepers, Lester. I guess we do need to talk...
[ April 25, 2004, 04:16 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 3
Panel 1
Tenzil: Look, Lester... you truly have been wonderful to me. Your help has been invaluable!
Lester: Finally! Some recognition! But it's easy to say you appreciate me.
Panel 2
Tenzil: That's all you're going to get from me, though. Look, I care about you as much as I do my own brother-- though I'm not sure that's much of a compliment-- AS A FRIEND. Only. Ever. Okay?
Panel 3
Lester: You mean... you're... you're...
Panel 4
*Tenzil looking expectantly*
Panel 5
Lester: You're breaking UP with me...!?!?
Taryn: Oh, Sirius on a stick!! There never WAS anything to break UP, Lester! Go use your frelling fortune to buy a CLUE, already!
Panel 6
Lester: STOP this spaceship!! Stop it AT ONCE!!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 4
Splash Page
(close up on Lester, in a strange combination of shock, anger, and sadness that Tenzil just doesn't feel that way towards him)
Title: "Sissy Hissy!"
Lester: I am never speaking to you again, Tenzil Kem!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 5
Panel 1
Taryn: Aren't you going to go after him?
Tenzil: No. He needs to deal with this in his own way... he'll come around. He was about due for a spotlight issue anyway, and this seems to be the perfect chance for that.
Panel 2
Taryn: I don't know what you're sprocking talking about half the time.
Panel 3
*Lester approaching Spaceship Attendant*
Lester: You there, with the eyestalk... I need to board a shuttlecraft.
Panel 4
Attendant: But... these crafts are for emergency usage only!
Panel 5
Lester: HERE'S your emergency, Stalky!
*Lester holds out a large pile of credits*
Panel 6
*shot of shuttlecraft leaving the Spaeship*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 6
Panel 1
(Lester in shuttlecraft)
Lester: *sob* I can't believe that Tenzil... how could he be so mean to me... and that witch Taryn... I hate her! I hate both of them!
Panel 2
Lester: Hmm... but what if she has Tenzil under mind-control or something? Maybe he's in trouble! Maybe he needs me to rescue him?
Panel 3
Lester: No... it all makes sense now. Tenzil never loved me at all... that's why he was so cold towards me... And Taryn knew all along... and the producers of that stupid holo-show... everyone's just been making fun of me!
Panel 4
Lester: They're stupid! All of them stupid! I'll show them! Just as soon as I... hey, what am I doing? Where am I going?
Panel 5
(A larger spacecraft is approaching the tiny shuttlecraft Lester is in...)
Lester: Well, I can't go back to Bismoll, and going home to cry to daddy would suck, too.
Panel 6
(Lester's ship is drawn into the larger spacecraft)
Lester: Uh... what's going on here?
Panel 7
(a strange bald, monocled man appears on Lester's viewscreen...)
Othar: Greetings, Lester Spiffany! I am Othar of Thrann. It is good to finally meet you!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 7
Panel 1
Lester: Thrann? Never heard of it. Must be some backwater slum. Why have you abducted me? And... more importantly-- Why's your head so big and bald?
Panel 2
Othar: *ahem.* All on Thrann are possessed of oversize bare craniums!
Lester: Well, no wonder you left it. And I suppose you captured me to seek out some hair-care tips after you have a hair transplant?
Panel 3
Othar: Errr... no. Actually, I have been studying you via the KEM FAMILY & FRIENDS holo-show.
Panel 4
Lester: Oh, I get it-- a fan! Well, I hate to tell ya, I won't be on THAT show anymore!
Panel 5
Othar: It pleases me to hear that. Come, Lester Spiffany... I want you to meet my companions!
Lester: Great. Are they all bald too?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 8
Panel 1
Othar: No! Well, one of them happens to have an over-sized bare cranium as well, but he's not from Thrann...
Lester: Oh, brother...
Panel 2
caption: Soon...
Othar: My friend, let me introduce you to my Super-Companions...
Panel 3
Othar: Splash, from the planet Cruxl, a scientist whose great genius allowed him to invent a serum which changes him into a puddle of water!
Panel 4
Othar: This is Shower, Splash's young partner, whose scientist father gave him the ability to make it rain!
Panel 5
Othar: And here is Bobb Barker, better known as Treehugger, whose mutant ability to grow extra limbs and extend them to giant proportions means few evildoers can escape his embrace!
Panel 6
Othar: And here is poor Shadow! The particles of his body were altered in a bizarre experiment so that he can walk through anything, but is only able to align his particles to make him capable of physical contact for brief periods!
Panel 7
Othar: And lastly, Mzgrzz the Magnificent, whose mind-over-matter powers allow him to reshape ordinary objects into fabulous inventions!
[ April 25, 2004, 04:19 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 9
Panel 1
Lester: Hmm. Too bad he can't reshape that big bald head of his... and yours.
Panel 2
Othar: ENOUGH about the big bald heads, already!
Lester: Hey, don't yell at ME, Monocle-face! I didn't ASK to be here with a bunch of chrome-domes, tree-dudes and ghost guys. What's up with this Dweeb Festival, anyway?
Panel 4
Treehugger: We had hoped to get you to join our Super-Companions.
Lester: Look, Budd...
Treehugger: Bobb.
Lester: Like it matters. I'm not much of a joiner. I'm a loner.
Panel 5
Othar: You CERTAINLY aren't the sweet young man you portrayed on the Kem Show!
Panel 6
Lester: I was in love then. Now, I'm rejected and bitter. Back to my old self. And it feels GOOD to be ME again. I hate the stupid space-simp I became for a while.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 10
Panel 1
Splash: But... we were going to give you this space-tiara and make you our leader!
Lester: Hmmph! I've got all the fancy jewelry I need, bozo! That cheap knockoff doesn't impress me!
Panel 2
Othar: Look, we're offeriring you a chance to come to a place where you will be respected and loved for who you are!
Lester: Bah! I don't need you stupid bald men and your stupid admiration! I'll be fine on my own!
Panel 3
(The ship begins to shake violently as alarms go off!)
Treehugger: What's that?
Shower: I think we're under attack!
Panel 4
Othar (to communicator): What's going on?
Voice on Communicator: Another ship has opened fire on us! I'm afraid it's Anti-Lad, sir!
Panel 5
Splash: Anti-Lad! Arch-nemesis of the super-companions! The greatest threat to our way of life on Thrann! Why would she be attacking us here in space!
Panel 6
Othar: Quick! To the control room!
Shower: Come along, Lester! You'll be safer if you stick with us!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 11
Panel 1
caption: before you know it...
Mzgrzz: DAMN! It IS Anti-Lad and her Fatal Femmes!
Lester: Fatal Femmes?
Panel 2
Othar: I'm afraid we're going to have to fight out way out of this one, fellas.
Shadow: I'm ready!
Splash: As am I!
Panel 3
Lester: Yeah, like YOU two can do much. QUICK! Throw water on her! Walk through her!
Panel 4
Shower: You're rude! We try not to point out their general uselessness!
Splash: HEY!
Shower: Oh, come on, you know its true!
Panel 5
Treehugger: NO!!!! I can't believe she DID it...!
Lester: What? What?
Panel 6
Treehugger: She's released an unstoppable monster to attack us!
Panel 7
caption: The Super-Moby Dick of Space!
*shot of Super-Moby*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 12
Panel 1
Mzgrzz: We've got no hope of fighting the Super-Moby Dick in Space! We must land at that small, nearby planetoid!
Panel 2
(shows the Super-Companions stepping out of the ship as the SMD approaches!)
Treehugger: I'll grow extra limbs and try to grab it before it eats our spaceship!
Shower: I'll try to scare it away by making it rain!
Splash (to Shadow): And he says we'reuseless!
Panel 3
Treehugger: Oh no! Strange radiation from the Super-Moby Dick is causing my extra limbs to fall off as quickly as I can grow them!
Panel 4
Splash: I... I'm getting scared...
Panel 5
(Splash turns into a puddle...)
Lester: Oh brother...
Panel 6
Mzgrzz: Keep it distracted, my Super-Companions! I'm whipping up something to stop it!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 13
Panel 1
Shower: The rain doesn't bother it-- but let's see how it likes a HAILSTORM!
Panel 2
*Moby being hailed on, looks enraged*
Panel 3
Shadow: I'll get it to follow me since it can't hurt me!
Panel 4
*shot of Lester watching the battle*
Thought-caption: I would be helpless to stop that monster-- but The Super-Companions are actually quite capable against it so far... well, except for Splash...
Panel 5
Mzgrzz: BACK, Shadow and Shower! Back, as I STRIKE the beast...!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 14
Panel 1
Mzgrzz: As you know, no sound can travel in space, so space-whales communicate by telepathically projecting "songs" to one another...
Panel 2
Mzgrzz: This device, which I have constructed by rearranging the atoms of simple stones, will allow my mighty mind to replicate the songs of space whales, and "project" them to the mind of the Super-Moby Dick...
Panel 3
Mzgrzz: Everyone should stay clear in case this doesn't work! Hannah only knows how the Super-Moby Dick will respond if I've programmed in the wrong song...
Panel 4
Mzgrzz: It seems to be working! I'm projecting a warning to stay away from this planetoid, and the Super-Moby Dick appears to be leaving!
Panel 5
The Super-Companions: Hurray! Yay for Mzgrzz!
Panel 6
Mzgrzz: Don't celebrate yet, my friends! Anti-Lad's spaceship is landing!
[ April 24, 2004, 11:06 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 15
Panel 1
Mzgrzz: Yes, it is the Fatal Femmes! There's Rainbow Girl, who is particularly deadly to Shower!
Panel 2
Mzgrzz: And Dyke Damsel, whose absolute control over all things lquid makes her so dangerous to Spash!
Panel 3
Mzgrzz: Utility Girl, who can morph her body into a myriad of mechanical devices!
Panel 4
Mzgrzz: Shaggy Lass, the furry super-strong deadly monster, more beast that human!
Panel 5
Mzgrzz: And Anti-Lad herself! She came here from the far-flung future to change the past with her super-science!
Panel 6
Laster: Jeebus! A bald GIRL! What IS IT with you people?? and is that a buttcrack in her head?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 16
Panel 1
Anti-Lad: Foolish super-companions! You may have been safe from us on your all-male paradise of Thrann, but in open space we have the advantage! And once it's greatest champions are destroyed, Thrann itself will be next!
Panel 2
Lester: Popping hotties! Didn't I just go through with this with that Thora chick?
Panel 3
Anti-Lad: You know Thora of Taltar, sissy male? Bah! Her foolish matriarchal alliance will never work! The crazy woman actually wants to enslave stupid males to do her bidding! Only the total elimination of men is acceptable! Starting with all of you!
Panel 4
Anti-Lad: Attack my Fatal Femmes!
Lester: Oh, jeebus!
Panel 5
(The Fatal Femmes attack!)
(Rainbow Girl projects a rainbow at Shower) Shower: Eek! I'm vulnerable to the light force of a rainbow!
(Dyke Damsel punches Splash) Dyke Damsel: Refusing to use your powers, eh? Well, my fists will prove as deadly as my ability to control your liquid form!
(Shaggy Lass pulls off one of Treehugger's limbs!) Shaggy Lass: Rrrrargghhh!
(Utility Lass morphs into some sort of weapon and shoots at Mzgrzz!) Utility Lass: I can change form faster than you can morph other objects, Mzgrzz!
(Anti-Lad presses a button on her visor) Anti-Lad: Don't think for a second that you're safe, Shadow! One blast from my visor and the particles of your bodies will loose what little cohesion they have left!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 17
PANEL 1
*Lester watches the carnage*
Thought caption: Well, I see this is going badly for the Companions. I wonder why Oprah disappeared right when the action started? Maybe he had to clean his monocle. Anyhoo, guess I better do something about this...
Panel 2
Lester: This solid silver platter will deflect the rays of your visor, Anti-Lad!
Panel 3
Lester: And hurling it at Shaggy Lass will stun her temporarily!
Panel 4
Lester: My Venturan Walking Money will swarm over Rainbow Girl!
Walking Money: Meep! Meep! Meep!
Rainbow Girl: NooOOOoooo!
Panel 5
Lester: Even Utility Lass is vulnerable to the vapors of this Gas Money!
Panel 6
*throws a gold necklace bolo-style*
Lester: Looks like you're all tied up for the moment, Dyke Damsel!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 18
Panel 1
Anti-Lad: Bah! I hadn't counted on the sissy one being so powerful! Retreat, my fatal femmes!
Panel 2
(The Fatal Femmes struggle to their spaceship and run away!)
The Super-Companions: Yay! Hurray for Lester!
Panel 3
(Othar comes out of the Super-Companion spaceship)
Othar: Let me offer my sincere thanks to you, Lester Spiffany! You have truly proved yourself worthy of a place in the super-companions!
Panel 4
Lester: So... let's see if I understand this. You guys are the elite defense force for an all-male paradise planet?
Splash: Yep!
Panel 5
Lester: And the creepy buttcrack-headed bald chick from the future is bent on altering the past by destroying all men in the present day?
Shadow: That's it!
Panel 6
Lester: And she especially targeted your planet because it's all-male?
Shower: You understand perfectly!
Panel 7
Lester: And you want me to join your team?
Othar: We'd very much like that!
Panel 8
Lester: Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to at least go to your planet and check it out...
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 19
Panel 1
caption: And before you can say "Shiny Disco Balls"...
*the Super-Companions and Lester walk among a crowd on Thrann*
Lester: So, this is Thrann. Sure are a lot of bald guys here.
Othar: *sigh!*
Panel 2
Lester: But I got to hand it to you, Oprah... people here seem to adore you guys!
Ohar: The name is OTHAR.
Lester: Yeah yeah yeah.
Panel 3
Shower: And look, Lester, not EVERYone here is a native Thrannian. See?
Panel 4
*Lester eyes a crowd of guys with hair and normal-size craniums!*
Panel 5
Lester: Popping Hotties!!! Who... is... THAT?
Panel 6
Treehugger: Ah, I see you've taken notice of Dev-Em.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 20
Panel 1
Lester: He's cute!
Shower: He should be at the special Reception Dinner in your honor tonight! If you want, I can introduce you...
Panel 2
Lester: A dinner? In my honor? And a hot guy you're going to introduce me to? This is paradise!
Panel 3
Caption: Later, that evening...
Shower: Lester, I'd like to introduce you to Dev-Em, the Kryptonian rogue!
Lester: Kryptonian? I thought they died out a millenium ago?
Panel 4
Dev-Em: Oh, that's a long story. Perhaps you'd like to hear it over dinner tomorrow night?
Panel 5
Lester (thought caption): Wowsa! Another dinner invitation! And from a cute guy nonetheless!
Lester: Why, I'd really enjoy that, I'm sure!
Panel 6
caption: The next evening...
Lester: And so... I gave the big fat guy a bunch of money, and soon he was on our side!
Dev-Em: Oh, Lester! You're so smart!
[ April 25, 2004, 09:42 AM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 21
Panel 1
Lester: SO, why aren't you a member of the Super-Companions?
Panel 2
Dev-Em: I am, sort of. Sort of an Honorary Member.
Lester: Why's that?
Panel 3
Dev-Em: Truthfuly? I'm not much of a joiner. I've always been kind of a loner...
Lester: Wow! Deja Vu!
Dev-Em: But recently, I've desired a super-companion of my own to join me in my nomadic space-wanderings...
Panel 4
Lester: You don't say. I've felt the same way recently. Gosh, Dev, forgive me for being so bold but... you have a GREAT head of hair!
Panel 5
*Dev touches Lester's cheek*
Dev-Em: As do you, Lester. As do you.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 22
Panel 1
(Tenzil's suite)
Tenzil: Yep! I'm sure Lester'll be back in a couple of days! He's an important part of Kem Family & Friends, you know! Without him, it's kind of just Kem Family & Friend!
Panel 2
Taryn: Tenz, we still don't know why Evillo was assassinating anyone who occupied your Senate position. Until we find out, I'm not certain that you aren't still in danger...
Panel 3
Tenzil: Jumping fishhooks! Look, Evillo's deposed, his weird father and ex-wife aren't in any position to bother me! Why would anyone else possibly want to hurt me?
Panel 4
Taryn: My point is, unless we know why they wanted you dead, we can't know who else might share their goals.
Tenzil: Maybe you do have a point...
Panel 5
(Tenzil's omnicom beeps)
Tenzil: Hmm... what's this? A message? Maybe it's from Lester or Renkil!
Panel 6
Tenzil: Cancelled! We've been cancelled!?!
Next issue blurb: Next up, Tenzil gets down to business! Senate Business!
[ April 25, 2004, 10:10 AM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
OMG, I *loved* this issue!!!!
Eryk, we're on a major roll!
I reread the whole thing last night and loved it! I even think the off-panel defeat of Evillo/Malefico can be used in our favor upon the inevitable return to Tartarus!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
This issue was definitely the easiest to write, and I think the best we've done so far! We've both got Lester's character down so well that what he does next just seems to flow naturally!
Posted by MLLASH on :
[ April 25, 2004, 11:50 AM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
MATTER-EATER LAD #7
PAGE ONE
Panel 1
(Several super-heroes are pinned down by laser fire behind a steel wall, one, a female, is injured)
Caption: The planet Duar
Key Kid: Nell's unconscious, but I think she's okay...
Weight Wizard: They've got us pinned down pretty good... I don't know how we'll get out of this...
Panel 2
Itch Witch: My spells don't seem to work on them!
Took (a Durlan): I don't think they're living beings, Itch Witch! My antennae scan them as non-living androids!
Panel 3
Voice coming from the Wall: I don't think I can hold much longer...)
Panel 4
(A massive blast hits the wall, which begins to change form)
Multi-Maid: Oh no!
Panel 5
(The wall changes form to become a now-unconscious Blockade Boy; the other heroes scatter as they have now lost their protection against the laser fire, Itch Witch is hit by fire, Multi-Maid splits into three)
Panel 6
(The rest of the heroes fall before the onslaught; all except Took, who has disappeared)
Panel 7
(Several Nardo androids can be seen, their backs to the reader, inspecting the carnage)
Android: We have captured this group of metahumans. We will be bringing the prisoners home, master.
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 2
Panel 1
caption: festive planet Thrann...
Dev-Em: Are you certain, Lester? One hundred percent positive?
Lester: I've never been more certain of anything in my life. I want to go with you, Dev-Em!
Panel 2
Dev-Em: You realize I have no idea when I might make my way back to Thrann... or Bismoll... or your birth-planet Earth, either. Who knows when you will get to see your family... or your friends again? You would be giving up much.
Panel 3
Lester: Family? Friends? Feh! The only thing I'll be giving up is lonliness. My transuit is on, Dev-Em. I'm ready. BEYOND ready!
Panel 4
Dev-Em: Then let my journey continue! And let OUR journey begin!
Panel 5
*Dev-Em, his arm around Lester, blasts into the sky. The Super-Companions can be seen below waving farewell*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 3
Panel 1
Caption: The digestive planet Bismoll...
(An alarm clock is going off...)
Panel 2
(The alarm continues to go off as an arm reaches for it)
Panel 3
(Tenzil picks up the alarm and pulls it towards him)
Panel 4
(Tenzil takes a bite out of the alarm)
Panel 5
(The alarm now silenced, Tenzil continues to lie in bed asleep)
Panel 6
(Tenzil continues to sleep)
Panel 7
(There's a buzzing noise coming from the door to Tenzil's room)
Panel 8
(Tenz grudgingly looks up from the bed)
Panel 9
(Taryn enters the room...)
Taryn (very perky): Time to get up, Senator Kem! You've got a busy day ahead of you!
[ April 27, 2004, 09:29 AM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 4
Panel 1
Tenzil: Eeeeeek! *pulls covers over chest as a naked woman might do*
Panel 2
Taryn Oh, calm down-- it isn't going to be THAT busy!
Panel 3
Tenzil: No, no... it's just that I had a HORRIBLE dream that Dad and Renkil got into this huge scandal while on Tartarus and that Renkil disappeared!
Panel 4
Taryn: That happened. It's all over the holo-news. Matter-Eating Senator's Family Mad as Hatters? Mom's a Sick Joke in a Hot-Tub that Floats, Dad's a Zombie-Diddling Degenerate!
Panel 5
Tenzil: Eeeeeeek!! Matter-Eating Senator?
Taryn: Yep, that's what they're calling you. I myself prefer Matter-Eater Lad, though. Kinda sings, doesn't it?
Panel 6
Tenzil: Cute. Very cute.
Taryn: Another headline I saw-- Kem Show Cancelled Amid Lurid Sex Flap!
Panel 7
Tenzil: What the heck is a sex flap?
Taryn: Now get up. It's time to put a space-spin on all this hooplah before Bismollgov has your molars!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 5
Panel 1
Caption: Bismopollis space port...
Attendant: Welcome to Bismoll, ma'am! May I have someone carry your luggage for you?
Tiffany: Luggage, my friend, is for people who only have a limited amount of stuff, and need to bring it with them.
Panel 2
(close-up on Papa Spiffany's credit card)
Tiffany: This, sir, is all of the luggage I need!
Panel 3
Tiffany: If you could, however, be so kind as to hail me a hover-taxi, I would be much obliged...
Attendant: Yes, ma'am!
Panel 4
(Tiffany flirts with a random guy in the crowd...)
Tiffany: Why, hi there! Are all Bismollians as cute as you, sir?
Random Guy: Uh... well... I...
Panel 5
Tiffany: You ARE cute! Oh well... I've got to run... my taxi's here!
Panel 6
Hover-Taxi Driver: Where to, toots?
Tiffany: Well, let's see... I'm here to visit my little brother... but first I believe I need to buy something appropriate to wear! Take me swankiest clothing store in town, will you?
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 6
Panel 1
Taryn: Okay, here's the deal... we need to find a way to diffuse the Pervert Dad situation, explain Renkil and Lester's disappearances convincingly, and put Taltar at ease. The Kem-Cams followed your Mom and Dad when Thora abducted them, and I don't think Taltargov liked me punching Thora out on film.
Tenzil: I've got a headache.
Panel 2
Taryn: *crushes part of table in her hand* You're ABOUT to have a BIGGER one if you don't FOCUS.
Panel 3
Tenzil: You're so sexy when you threaten me!
Panel 4
Taryn: Settle down. I think one sex flap per week is enough for you.
Panel 5
Tenzil: What the sprock's a sex flap, anyway?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 7
Panel 1
(A holovision show)
Caption: The Bismoll Broadcasting System proudly presents... Famous Sex Flaps Through History!
Bek: Hi, I'm Bekson Bek, and today we'll be taking a look at some of the famous sex scandals that have rocked the very foundations of Bismollian society...
Panel 2
Bek: Every school child digests the story of how Torvyn Mak could not tell a lie when his father asked him who had eaten his prized coat rack, but did you know about the extramarital affairs that he had before being drafted first President of Bismoll?
Panel 4
Bek: It's well-known that Jedger Hof, long-time director of the Calorie Police, kept rooms filled with secret files on suspected overconsumers. But it seems Director Hof may have had a dirty little secret of his own... a secret passion for men wearing plus-sized women's clothing!
Panel 4
Bek: These are but two of the many famous Bismollian figures whose sexual indiscretions we will be looking at today on "Famous Sex Flaps in History!"
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 8
Panel 1
caption: 1 hour & 55 minutes later...
Bek: And no Overview of Famous Sex Flaps would be complete without mention of Bismoll's most recent one-- turns out Extremely Popular Senator Tenzil Kem's Dad has a thing for the undead, but then again, who doesn't?
Panel 2
Bek: In conclusion, I would like to thank each and every publc figure we've discussed today. As Chief Sex-Flap Historian, I'd have very little to do without them! I wouldn't trade my degree in sex-flapology for anything, I tell you what!
Panel 3
Bek: This is Bekson Bek, signing off-- and remember to hug a sex-addict today! Life would be EVER so dull without them!
Panel 4
Taryn: Wow! He barely went into your Dad's shenanigans! And your 1-line statement released about it has become famous planetwide!
Panel 5
*Taryn holds up holo-newspaper with headline: Kem to Dad-Bashers: "Oh, Untwist Your Knickers!!"
Panel 6
Tenzil: Progress, progress! How I love it so!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 9
Panel 1
Caption: The planet Taltar...
(Thora and Azura are speaking via vidphone...)
Thora: I think we can still use the situation on Tartarus to our advantage. At least we have a femme in charge, and many of those responsible for putting her in power are sympathetic to our cause...
Panel 2
Azura: We still don't have Loy, however. She is essential to our plan... if only you'd been able to convince her to join us!
Panel 3
Thora: I didn't get much of a chance to talk to her. But she was delightful! You should have felt the power when she punched me! A woman that we can all be proud of!
Panel 4
Azura: I'm sure I would have!
Thora: And, as far as recovering the artifact goes, at least we know that our main competition is out of the picture.
Panel 5
Azura: What exactly happened to Evillo and Malefico, anyway?
Thora: Oh, I convinced the rest of the ex-wives club that Evillo and his father would be safest here on Taltar. They are currently imprisoned, awaiting enslavement!
Panel 6
Azura: Very good, sister! The women of Femnaz will fire extra prayer rockets in your honor tonight!
[ May 03, 2004, 05:00 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 10
Panel 1
caption: hellish planet Tartarus, slightly less hellish under the rule of its new queen...
Drura: *on vidphone* Tenzil, baby! Oh, HOW is your darling Mom doing?
Panel 2
Tenzil: Oh, she's been a little down, what with the sex flap and all...
Drura: *gasp!!* Sex flap?? I KNEW that no-good father of your was gonna give her something! Well, I'll give HIM something...!
Panel 3
Tenzil: Uh, no Drura, it isn't a disease... oh, never mind. Look... I called in need of a favor...
Drura: Anything for you, you cutie!
Panel 4
caption: and the next day...
*image of that day's holo-news. Headline reads Queen of Tartarus Commends Tenzil Kem. Breakthrough Alliance Formed!
Page 5
Taryn: You're slick, Matter-Eater Lad
Tenzil: Slick as a space-eel and don't you forget it! You DID say "slick" and not "sick", right...?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 11
Panel 1
(Drura giving a speech on Tartarus)
Drura: And so, citizens of Tartarus, the alliance with Bismoll is just the first step in a new era for Tartarus! I envision a world where the living and reanimated work side by side to build a better future!
Panel 2
Hakk: Is she suggesting we should have equal rights?
Wheez: The fleshy ones will never go for that!
Panel 3
Drura: One of my first priorities will be to open a portal to the Realm of Darkness, to free all those that Evillo unjustly imprisoned there!
Panel 4
Hakk: Well, that seems like a reasonable idea!
Wheez: Yeah! But I'll miss seeing ol' hornhead zapping losers there!
Panel 5
Drura: As many of you already know, I have begun forming my own team of super-powered champions to protect the new Tartarus, and take the place of Evillo's Royal Cadre of thugs.
Panel 6
Drura: May I present to you the Heroes of Tartarus!
(Drura is waving Vanna White-style in the direction of her new superteam, who all conveniently have little captions with their names over them! There's Sugyn, Spaceopoly Lad, Policy Pam, Brittle Boy, Echo-Chamber Chet, and Incredible Girl).
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 12
Panel 1
caption: Senator Kem's office...
Tenzil: Let's review, shall we?
Taryn: Let's.
Panel 2
Tenzil: So, the so-called "Pervert Dad" brouhaha has been downgraded to "pop-culture snippet".
Taryn: Yes.
Panel 3
Tenzil: I've scored MASSIVE popularity points both on Bismoll AND on Tartarus with the announced Tartaran alliance.
Taryn: That is true. You were also voted one of the '50 Most Beautiful People' by Tartaran People Magazine.
Panel 4
Tenzil: Jeepers! Ummm... I'm not sure how I feel about that...
Taryn: Let's consider it a good thing.
Panel 5
Tenzil: So... what do I still need to do?
Taryn: Well... your Mom and Dad are still on the outs...
Tenzil: NO way. Ain't touching THAT one.
Panel 6
Taryn: We've fed lines to the media about Renkil and Lester needing vacations in the wake of the KEM SHOW being cancelled, so that's a non-issue for now.
Tenzil: Good, good. Anything else?
Panel 7
Taryn: There's still the little matter of me punching Thora. Taltar has been relatively quiet about it, though.
Tenzil: Oh! I guess I forgot to tell you...
Panel 8
Taryn: Oh geez. Why am I getting a BAD feeling...?
Panel 9
Tenzil: Bad feeling? I saved your ass! All I had to do was tell Taltar you'd meet with Thora for Kono Juice.
Taryn: ?!!!? WHAT ?!!!?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 13
Panel 1
(Tenz's omnicom buzzes)
Tenz: We'll talk about it later, girl! Yes?
Tenz's secretary (on omnicom): Senator Kem, there's a Miss Spiffany here to see you.
Panel 2
Tenz: Miss Spiff-- Jeebus! I told you Lester'd be back soon enough! Send him in!
Panel 3
(Tiffany enters the room, looking very attractive in her new outfit...)
Panel 4
(Tenz's sunglasses fall off..., Taryn looks on disapprovingly...)
Tenz: Wowza, Lester! Uh... remember all that stuff I said about not liking you in that way... maybe I should revise that... uh... er.. um... you're gorgeous!
Panel 5
Tiffany (slightly blushing): Aaahhh, you are soooo sweet! But please do not mistake me for my brother.
Panel 6
Tenz: Brother? Oh, you must be Tiffany! Lester's told me so little about you! I mean... he, uh, mentioned he had a sister... but I never really got the impression you guys were close or anything...
Tiffany: That's okay. We're not really.
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 14
Panel 1
Taryn: So, Tiffany. To what do we owe the "pleasure" of your visit?
Tiffany: Ah, Taryn Loy! I'm such a fan of yours and have been since day one of KEM FAMILY & FRIENDS! Such beauty, such charm...
Taryn: Says the girl wearing the dress made out of solid space-sapphires.
Tiffany: *tee hee!*
Panel 2
Tiffany: I've never been one to deny myself certain creature comforts.
Taryn: Careful. Some creatures with skins like yours have been hunted to near-extinction.
Panel 3
Tiffany: Indeed. *Tiffany leans towards Tenzil, her breasts near his face* Here's the space-scene, Tenzil the Senzual...
Tenzil: *Gulp!*
Panel 4
Tiffany: *all dramatic* I travelled ALL the way from Earth to Bismoll to visit my little brother. He left without ever saying goodbye! I miss him so, and have been EVER so worried for him! Then I see he's part of your KEM SHOW, so I allow myself a flicker of hope! Then I GET here only to discover the show's been cancelled and he's gone on "vacation"!
Panel 5
Tiffany: *breasts back near Tenzil's face* What's a girl to DO, Senator Kem?
Tenzil: WE'LL help you!
Panel 6
*Taryn pulls Tenz to her mouth by his ear*
Taryn: Have you flipped your Umbra 3000s? NO WAY can we help her!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 15
Panel 1
Tenzil (whispering): Well, why not? She seems like a nice girl, and she's Lester's sister!
Taryn (whispering): Uh... first off, we have NO idea where Lester is! Remember?
Panel 2
Tenzil (whispering): Hmm... okay, I admit that's a good point. But we can at least try to help her. I'm worried about Lester as well.
Panel 3
Tenzil: Okay, Tiffany. I've got to admit that I'm not quite sure where Lester went on vacation, but I've got an idea how we might find him!
Panel 4
Tiffany: Oh? You are EVERY bit as smart as you seemed to be on your hovo-vid show!
Panel 5
Tenzil (blushing): Gee, thanks!
Taryn (too herself): Oh, brother...
Panel 6
Tenzil (picking up his omnicom): Now, I'll just dial-up Bismoll Spacelines and see if they can track the shuttlecraft Lester was flying!
[ May 05, 2004, 11:36 AM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 16
Panel 1
caption: What Senator Kem wants, Senator Kem gets!
Tenzil: GOT it! His shuttlecraft apparently made a pit-stop on a small planetoid and eventually ended up on a distant planet called Thrann!
Tiffany: Never heard of it.
Panel 2
Tenzil: What's odd is that en route to the planetoid, his signal suddenly becomes significantly reduced and stayed that way all the way to Thrann.
Taryn: Almost as if he were using a mild cloaking device?
Tenzil: Or were swallowed by a giant space-serpent?
Panel 3
Tiffany: OH!! How dreadful!!! *choke!!* Senator Kem! *hugging Tenzil, all dramatic*
Panel 4
Taryn: Hmm. Maybe we SHOULD go check this out...?
Panel 5
Tenzil: You're right. Tiffany and I will go check it out. YOU, however, have a date on Taltar.
Panel 6
Taryn: You have GOT to be kidding!
Tenzil: Do I EVER kid? Well, never mind. But I'm NOT kidding now.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 17
Panel 1
Caption: Metropolis Park, Metropolis, Earth
(panel shows Renkil wandering around aimlessly)
Panel 2
(suddenly Renkil bumps into someone!)
Panel 3
Stranger: Are you okay? Let me help you up.
Renkil: Thanks. I'm sorry, I didn't notice you. I've got a lot on my mind.
Panel 4
Stranger: That's okay. I find the park is a really great place to come and think when you need to sort things out. Me, I'm here almost every day.
Renkil: Really?
Panel 5
Stranger: Yeah. But mostly I just come here to feed the pigeons. I meet a lot of people who are here doing some soul-searching, however. My name is Myron Marks. Come sit down if you'd like someone to talk to.
Panel 6
Renkil: Yeah, that would be good. It's just... some really horrible stuff has happened to me lately, and it's like I don't know who I am any more...
Panel 7
Myron: Well, I find that really it's best if you don't let your past constrain you. If you're not happy with how things are going, then change them. Just remember, you can be the person you want to be. You just have to be willing to take the necessary steps to make the change...
Panel 8
Renkil: Really? Yeah, I can be who I want to be... I'll take the necessary steps... Thanks, Myron! You were so helpful!
Panel 9
Myron: Glad to be of service! And good luck!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 18
Panel 1
Pa Kem: *sobbing* ...and I can't... I can't tell you how sorry I am....
Panel 2
Ma Kem: Well... *stroking his bowed head* ...come on... come to bed....
Panel 3
Thora: *on vidphone* Don't FORGET your promise to me, Kem!
Tenzil: CRIPES! I havent!!
Panel 4
Tenzil: *cuts off vidphone; to Tiffany* Jeebus, what a pushy dame!
Panel 5
Tiffany: Oh, Tenzikiens!
Panel 6
Lester: *nuzzling Dev-Em's cheek* The stars... the stars...
Dev-Em: They're beautiful...
Posted by Invisible Brainiac on :
Somebody give these guys a raise and a promotion, already!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 19
Panel 1
Caption: Bismopolis Space-Port, the next day
Tenzil: I'm sure everything will be okay. You just go, have your little chat with Thora, and you'll probably be back before we are!
Taryn: I don't know. I don't trust Thora. And I don't particularly trust Tiffany, either.
Panel 2
Tenzil: Oh, you're so cute when you're jealous!
Taryn: Jealous? Kem, for someone whose known me since we were both chewing pacifiers, sometimes you seem so incredibly clueless about me.
Panel 3
Tenzil: Oh, you're so cute when you're denying that you're jealous!
Taryn: Ugh... have fun on Thrann. Did you manage to find anything out about the place?
Panel 4
Tenzil: Not much. Only that the natives are bald and have big foreheads. It seems to have a culture all of its own, but I didn't find out too much about it.
Panel 5
Tiffany: Hey, Tenzi-poo! How do you like my new outfit? I bought it especially for this trip?
Tenzil: Wow! It's... gorgeous!
Panel 6
Taryn: I'll see you guys later.
Panel 7
(Taryn boards her ship...)
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 20
panel 1
*inside Taryn's ship*
Taryn thought-caption: Tenzil's heading straight for big trouble, I can just sense it!
Panel 2
Taryn thought-caption: I'll get out of the atmosphere, park on a planetoid and tail them at a distance when they lift off. My "date" with Thora will just have to wait!
Panel 3
caption: Deep space...
Lester: I could travel the spaceways in your arms forever.
Dev-Em: Maybe we will.
Panel 4
*a ship comes out of nowhere and blasts by, barely missing them*
Dev-Em: Great Rao!
Lester: Are they STUPID or what??
Panel 5
Dev-Em: They're certainly in a stupid big hurry! That makes me kind of suspicious...
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 21
(big splash page showing Dev and Lester chasing after the ship)
Dev-Em: We'll follow them and figure out what's going on!
Title "Senate Business" and credits appear at the bottom of page.
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 22
top-page caption: Oh heck, have 1 more page...
Panel 1
caption: Tartarus: the royal penthouse hover-apartment of Drura, AKA Infectious Lass AKA Newly crowned Queen...
*knock on door, Drura looks startled*
Drura: I can't imagine who THAT could be at this hour...
Panel 2
*knocking continues*
Drura: Vicious viruses! Keep your mucous in, I'm coming!
Panel 3
*opens door*
Drura: Yes, who is... *GASP!!* YOU??
Panel 4
*the mystery knocker is revealed*
Drura: Tenzil...?!
Posted by MLLASH on :
NEXT ISSUE BLURB:
Stupid Stalag of Space!!!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Yay! Another issue done! While I don't think this one quite lived up the hilarity of the Lester spotlight, it certainly had some nice moments! And of course it set up things to come!
Posted by MLLASH on :
I reckon it's okay that every issue isn't slapstick.
Upon rereading this one, It may be one of my faves (well, I *do* love them ALL) because it deals with repurcussions from our first arc, begins & carries on some subplots AND sets up the next arc, as you said... quite a lot going on!
Just holler when you are ready to get going on Issue # 8...
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Yeah, the more I re-read this one, the more I like it!
And we do cover *a lot* of ground!
Posted by MLLASH on :
MATTER-EATER LAD # 8
*page layout is 3 large rectangular panels*
PAGE 1
Panel 1
caption: Deep space, heading for absolutely fabulous planet THRANN...
Tiffany: What a fun space-road-trip this is turning out to be! Should we stop at a Space-Truckstop somehwere? I bet it would be so... so rustic!
Tenzil: Don't forget, Tiffany... we're looking for Lester, not out to have fun.
Tiffany thought-caption: Oh, I'll be having fun, Senator Kem, no matter what you say.
Panel 2
caption: Hot on Tiffany & Tenzil's tail...
Taryn: I can't believe I've risked an interstellar incident with Taltar because of some crazy hunch about Tenzil heading for trouble. Maybe Tenzil was right... maybe I am jealous of Tiffany... a little.
Panel 3
caption: Even deeper space, hot on someone else's tail...
Lester: What's wrong, baby...? You look a little... flushed...?
Dev-Em: I do feel a bit odd... but I'm not stopping until I CATCH those nuts who almost smashed into us!
Posted by DMFirebow on :
Can't wait for more!! I'm glad I found this thread!!!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Thanks DM! I'll get the creative juices flowing again in a couple of days, and I'm sure the "Stupid Stalag of Space!" arc will be a blast to write!
Posted by MLLASH on :
We're glad you found this thread too, DM!
Eryk-- make like Sugyn and spew those juices! Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 2
Big splash panel
(shows a lot of super-hero types working in mines with Nardo androids watching over them, zapping them with ray guns and stuff.)
Android #1: You must work harder, slaves!
Android #2: The master will not tolerate your laziness!
Android #3: Production must be doubled!
Plant Lad (to another prisoner): I... I don't think I can take this much longer...
Title: STUPID-STALAG OF SPACE, Part 1!
Posted by MLLASH on :
Dev: I dunno... I've never quite felt like this before...
Panel 3
*panel shows giant claws reaching out from the ship Dev & Lester are chasing, grabbing them*
Dev: Jeepers H. Christmas!
Panel 4
*panel shows Dev & Lester being reeled in to the ship*
Lester: Well... THIS certainly sucks!
Panel 5
*shows Dev & Lester inside the ship, straddled before a Nardo-bot holding a chunk of green kryptonite*
Nardo-bot: Idiot Kryptonian! We have our ways of dealing with YOUR ilk!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 4
Panel One
Lester: Look, I don't know who you are, but let's say I give you 1000 creds and I won't have to look at that icky third eye of yours anymore?
Nardroid: Fool! I have no need of money!
Panel Two
Lester: *gasp*! That's... that's just inhuman!
Nardroid: Yes! I am an unliving android, designed to serve my master's whims!
Panel Three
Lester: Devkins, get up and show this creep who's boss!
Dev-em: Ooooohh...
Panel Four
Lester: Devkins?
Dev-em: C-can't get up... feel so bad...
Panel Five
(rushes over to Nardroid and starts beating on him! The nardroid isn't phased.)
Lester: What have you done to my Devkins! Stop hurting him! Stop it!
Panel Six
(Nardroid blasts Lester with stun rays_
Nardroid: This will calm you down!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PANEL 5
Panel 1
Tiffany: Well, that was certainly an experience! I feel so.. so common!
Panel 2
Tenzil: I know what you mean. You see those Stickey's Space-Stops all your life but you never stop at one. And when you finally do, it's... well... a little disappointing actually.
Panel 3
Tiffany: Well, all I know is the pie sure was good! >Burrrrp!!<
Panel 4
Tenzil: *looks a bit taken aback* Ummm... yeah? I rather enjoyed the silverware myself.
Panel 5
*approaching their cruiser*
Tenzil: Shall we hit the space-road then?
Tiffany: I'm ready when you are! >burrrrp!!<
Panel 6
Tenzil: <looking a bit repulsed> *sigh!*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 6
Panel One
Taryn: *sigh*! Finally they're leaving! I've been parked here for over two hours!
Panel Two
(Taryn looks through her window at Tenz and Tiff bording their ship)
Taryn: Maybe I am just being paranoid after all. I mean... it looks like Tenz is having fun. But I just can't shake this feeling that something is going to happen...
Panel Three
(Taryn presses the buttons to power up her ship for take-off)
Panel Four
(The ship begins making strange noises)
Taryn: Hmm... that's funny.
Panel Five
(Taryn's ship completely shorts out)
Taryn: Grife! Now I'll have to get this fixed!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 7
Panel 1
*panel shows Dev-Em stirring awake*
Panel 2
Lester: Devkins!! Oh... oh, man, I have been SO worried about you...!!
Panel 3
Dev-Em: Wh... what's happened...? Where are we?
Lester: When I first awoke, I thought it was Metropolis Manmeet...
Panel 4
Lester: ...but it isn't.
*scene pulls back to reveal Les, Dev and various other male heroes who have been captured; all are stripped to their undergarments and manacled to the wall*
Panel 5
Weight Wizard: It's Nardo.
Lester: What's that, blondie? Nerdo?
Panel 6
Weight Wizard: You've never heard of the galactc tyrant Nardo?
Lester: Can't say that I have...
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 8
Panel One
Weight Wizard: Nardo was a pirate, scourge of his own galaxy until law enforcement officials chased him out. Now he's arrived in our sector of space, determined to punish all who seek to maintain the cause of freedom and justice and goodness.
Panel Two
Lester: Doesn't sound like a very nice fellow at all!
Blockade Boy: He's not! And who knows what horrible fate awaits us once these Nardobots get us to wherever we're going!
Panel Three
Lester: *gasp*!
Key Kid: Not to worry. I, Key Kid, can easily get us out of these manacles at any point I so choose, by using my power to unlock any lock or security system. We just want to see what exactly Nardo is up to, so we can foil his overall plans.
Panel Four
Lester: You mean... you let yourself be captured by Nardo?
Key Kid: In a sense, yes.
Blockade Boy: The only way we can defeat Nardo once and for all is to infiltrate his prison camp!
Panel Five
Lester: Okay, you guys can do your little infiltration bit, but mind getting me and Devkins out now?
Key Kid: I'm afraid not! If any of us escaped, the Nardroids would become suspicious!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PANEL 9
Panel 1
Lester: Oh yeah? Well, my boyfriend Dev here will bust right out of these manacles right NOW-- won't you, Dev?
Panel 2
Dev: If I could I already would have, Les... somehow those fiends are sapping ALL of my super-powers!
Panel 3
Lester: Jeebus!! You mean I'm STUCK here with all these feebs in their cheap underwear?
Blockade Boy: Hey!
Panel 4
Lester: Who yanked YOUR chain, Kid Crew-cut?
Panel 5
Dev-Em: Now, now, Lester... let's try to remain calm and civil.
Panel 6
Lester: *sigh* You're right, baby.
Panel 7
Lester: So... who are all you losers anyway?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 10
Panel One
Weight Wizard: Well, Key Kid's already introduced himself. I'm Weight Wizard, gifted with full control over my own density. I can become super-heavy or super-lightweight at will.
Panel Two
Weight Wizard: Crew Cut Kid, as you've so eloquently referred to him, is in fact Blockade Boy, hero of Amadeus, and gifted with the power to change into a steel wall.
Panel Three
Weight Wizard: To your left, there's Opposable Big Toes Boy. His ability to use his feet as hands takes the notion of being ambidextrous to a new level!
Panel Four
Weight Wizard: That's Kid Heavyfeathers over there. He gained the power to make feathers as heavy as lead when he accidentally drank a serum he invented to increase the weight of feathers.
Panel Five
Lester: Why was he trying to increase the weight of feathers?
Weight Wizard: Umm... I've never quite figured that out myself. I think it's better not to talk about that subject too much.
Panel Six
Weight Wizard: Itch Witch, Negative Nell, Multi-Maid, and our Durlan friend Took were all with us when we were captured. I don't know what's happened to them.
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 11
Panel 1
Lester: Big Toes Boy? And I thought the Super-Companions were lame!
Dev: LESter...!
Panel 2
Lester: I don't CARE anymore, Dev!! All I wanted was to travel the spaceways with you, safe in arms that could move mountains! Now we're stuck HERE with a bunch of freaks who need to go underwear shopping, not to mention those heinous 3-eyed robots-- and YOUR so-called "super strength" has totally crapped out! GRIFE!!!!
Panel 3
Dev-Em: <looks defeated> I... I'm sorry...
Key Kid: Quiet! Someone's coming!
Panel 4
<2 Nardroids have entered>
Nardroid: Silence, slaves!! Show the proper respect for he who is now your master!!
Panel 5
Lester thought caption: Oh, great. Can't wait to see what the freak who built these hideous robots looks like!
Panel 6
<Nardo has joined his 2 Nardroids; all 3 are exactly alike>
Nardroid: The great & mighty NARDO!!
Panel 7
Lester thought caption: Oh, Sirius on a stick! I preferred the bald fatheads on Thrann!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 12
Panel One
Blockade Boy: Nardo, you fiend! What have you done with our comrades? If you've hurt them, I'll make you pay...
Panel Two
Nardo: Ha! Your threats are idle! It's the third round and I've just scored a knockout! And what a knockout he is!
Panel Three
(Nardo inspects Dev-Em)
Nardo: Yes. He will do quite nicely.
Lester: Hey! Keep your creepy hands off my boyfriend!
Panel Four
Nardo: Guards! Silence this fool!
Nardroids: Yes, sir.
Panel Five
(Nardobots blast Lester)
Dev (weakly): Noooo...
Panel Six
(Nardo turns to Blockade Boy)
Nardo: As for your female friends, they are enjoying similar comforts in another part of the ship. You'll be happy to know we'll be arriving at our destination shortly.
Panel Seven
Nardo (exiting): Thank you for flying Air Nardo! Ha ha ha!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 13
Panel 1
caption: Nearing Thrann...
Tenzil: It won't be long now, Tiffany!
Tiffany: Oh, I'm SO glad. I can't wait to see Lester again and deliver the news...
Panel 2
Tenzil: News? What news?
Panel 3
Tiffany: Oh, dear... ummm... the news about, ummm... Daddy's will. Personal stuff, don't you know.
Tenzil: Hoooo-kay....
Panel 4
Tenzil: >sniffing air< Grife! What died?
Panel 5
Tiffany: *tee hee!* I'm afraid that's my fault! Guess I shouldn't have had that space-chili at Stickey's...
Panel 6
Tenzil thought-caption: Cripes!! I sure miss Taryn!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 14
Panel 1
caption: Speaking of Taryn...
Taryn: So, exactly how much is it going to cost to fix this...
Mechanic: Well, it depends. Exactly how long do you want it to keep flying after we fix it?
Panel 2
Taryn: What do you mean?
Mechanic: Well, we don't exactly have all the correct parts that we need. Now you could wait here two weeks until we can get them, or we can fix it with what we got. And some clever substitutes.
Panel 3
Taryn: "Substitutes"?
Mechanic: Yeah. We got what we like to call our Legion of Substitute-Spaceship Parts. They're kind of like universal parts that will do in a pinch when regular parts for a particular ship can't be found. The problem is, they aren't exactly always up to snuff, and not nearly as reliable.
Panel 4
Taryn: O--kay. Just do whatever it's going to take to get me as far as Thrann.
Mechanic: Uh, sure miss. But, if you don't mind my asking, what are you doing headed towards Thrann?
Panel 5
Taryn: What do you mean?
Mechanic: Well, it's just you don't seem as though you'd fit in very well there, you know?
Panel 6
Taryn: What do you mean?
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 15
Panel 1
Mechanic: <looking at Taryn's chest> Well, it's your... uh... you're... a girl.
Taryn: Thanks for noticing. Now notice this...
Panel 2
<Taryn lifts the mechanic into the air by his shirt>
Mechanic: AWWWP!!
Panel 3
Taryn: Now, I want you to see that your substitute parts get me to Thrann. Understood?
Mechanic: Yes'm!!!
Panel 4
<Taryn drops the mechanic>
Taryn: Good boy. I'll be in the Waiting Room. Make it snappy.
Panel 5
Mechanic thought-caption: I think I'm in love!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 16
Panel One
(On Taltar, Thora and Evillo are having a little chat!)
caption: And speaking of lovers...
Evillo: But... honey! Remember all those good times we had together?
Thora (Space-whip in hand!): Silence, cretinous male! You are now a slave of Imperial Tartarus! You will be taught to obey your female superiors!
Panel Two
Evillo: But... hon-ey!
Thora: Fool!
Panel Three
(close up on Thora's whip holding hand as she cracks it!)
Panel Four
(Thora leaving the dungeon)
Thora: I am leaving him in your hands! See that you teach him his rightful place in the social hierarchy!
Slavemistress: Yes, my lady!
Panel Five
Thora: Now... I must figure out why that delightful Taryn Loy hasn't arrived on Taltar yet! I'm so looking forward to our tea togther!
[ June 05, 2004, 06:13 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
[Q: Should that read "On TALTAR" above...?]
PAGE 17
Panel 1
caption: And, in Evillo's former palace on Tartarus, a training session takes place...
Infectious Lass: WOW, Tenzil! I was surprised but thrilled to hear you wanted to join the Heroes of Tartarus after the Kem Show was cancelled... look at you eat those deathbots!
Policy Pam: He's an inspiration!
Panel 2
Tenzil: *munch!* Thanks, guys! It's awesome to be somewhere I belong!
Panel 3
*Drura approaches Tenzil*
Infectious Lass: Here's where you belong, stud...
Panel 4
*Tenzil & Drura kiss*
Panel 5
Sugyn: Ain't they sweet?
Echo-Chamber Chet: I used to have girlfriends too when I was alive alive alive alive alive alive.
Incredible Girl: Those days are long-gone for you, Chet!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 18
Panel One
caption: Elsewhere...
Nardroid: Work faster slaves! The Master will be returning soon! We must triple production by the time he gets here!
Panel Two
Plant Lad: I can't take any more of this! I'm going to use my power of becoming any plant to turn into a Venusian Octopus Vine and show those guards whose boss!
False Pretenses Lad: I wouldn't do that if I were you...
Panel Three
Biron: He's right! They'll kill you if you try to rebel!
Plant Lad: They're slowly killing us in these mines anyway! At least I could go down fighting for my freedom!
Panel Four
(blasts Plant Lad with stun gun!)
Nardo: Shut your mouths and get back to work!
Panel Five
Plant Lad (transforms in VOV and grabs Nardobot!): That's it!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 19
Panel 1
*Plant Lad crushes Nardroid*
Panel 2
Biron: Let's do it!! Let's fight back!
False Pretenses Lad: You can fight back if you want. I rather like it here.
Biron: Liar.
Panel 3
*Nardroids converge on Plant Lad*
Nardroid: He comes! The Master comes!! Subdue the slave quickly!
Panel 4
*Plant Lad is blasted from all sides by Nardroids*
Panel 5
*Plant Lad, back in humanoid form, lies unconscious*
Nardroid: Now the master will determine his fate. Let this be an example to you all, slaves!
Panel 6
*Nardo's ship touching down*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 20
Panel One
caption: Meanwhile, on the planet Thrann...
Panel One
*Tenzil and Tiffany's ship touching down*
Panel Two
Tenzil: Well, this certainly looks like a fun planet!
Tiffany: I guess... if your idea of fun includes lots of bald guys with giant heads!
Panel Three
Tiffany (clutching her stomach): Oooh... I'm really not feeling too well...
Tenzil: Uh... maybe there's a drug store here in the spaceport that'll take care of that upset stomach of yours.
Panel Four
*Othar approaches*
Othar: Tenzil Kem! Welcome to Thrann! I am Othar, and I must admit, I am a huge fan of yours!
Panel Five
Tenzil: Jeebus! It's always great to meet one my fans!
Othar: Well, I must admit that you'll find that you're quite popular here on Thrann! Especially since the your being here can mean only one thing: you've come to beg Lester to take you back!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 21
Panel 1
Tenzil: Lester..!!?
Tiffany: He's HERE?
Panel 2
Othar: Why yes! I've seen him, a delightful lad he is, quite loved by all on Thrann!
Tenzil: THAT'S good.
Panel 3
Othar: But I'm afraid he left Thrann a few kaplons ago.
Tenzil: That sounds LESS good.
Panel 4
Othar: It's certainly bad news for YOU, Mr. Kem. You see, Lester left in the arms of his lover Dev-Em. You're quite handsome in your own space-hillbilly way, but Dev-Em? HE put the hot pop in Popping Hotties!
Tenzil: Space-hillbilly?!?!
Panel 5
Othar: >sniffs air< What died?
Tenzil: That would be Lester's sister here. I like to call her Gas Girl.
Panel 6
Othar: Ah! I see the resemblance!
Tiffany: *arches back so that breasts are prominent* Is there ANY way to find my brother, Mister Othar?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 22
Panel One
Othar: Well... there *is* a way. Dev-Em is an honorary member of our planet's super-hero team, The Super-Companions! As such, he wears a special communicator belt which allows us to contact him at any point!
Panel Two
Tenzil: Hey... that's great! So you can just call him up and find out where Lester is so we can meet up with them?
Othar: Unfortunately, it may not be that easy. Dev-Em often goes through long phases of not answering our summons. We attempted to contact him earlier today, but to no avail...
Panel Three
Tiffany: But I simply must see my darling brother again...
Othar: Well, fortunately we have tracking devices built into each communicator belt! I can give you a device to use to trace Lester's signal!
Panel Four
Tenzil: Sounds good! I bet Lester'll be delighted to see his best pal and his sister again!
Next Issue Box
Jeepers! Next issue has it all, as Tenzil tries to rescue Lester from Nardo, only to get captured himself! And as Taryn finds herself stranded on Thrann, Thora declares war on Bismoll!
Posted by MLLASH on :
Yet again, WE KICK ASS.
Why we aren't high-profile writers at DC already is beyond me.
Heck, I'll gladly take scale wages! Fine, $1 LESS than scale.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
ISSUE #9
Page One
Prologue-- The Secret Origin of Plant Lad!
Panel One
caption: On the outskirts of the United Planets lies the recently colonized world of Simballi!
*shows planet*
Panel Two
caption: This jungle world, with its variety of wildlife, is a favorite destination of big game hunters!
*shows Otto Orion*
Panel Three
caption: Even in this wild environment, colonists have tried to maintain some semblance of civilization!
*shows colonists acting all civilized and stuff!*
Panel Four
caption: A surprisingly thriving youth culture exists on Simballi!
*shows a lot of young people dancing*
Panel Five
caption: The most popular space-rock band on Simballi was Noyd & the Navigators!
*Shows very-Beatlesque-looking band playing*
Panel Six
caption: Until one day Noyd contracted a rare jungle disease!
*shows Noyd in hospital bed*
Panel Seven
caption: His fans prayed for his recovery, but no one anticipated what would happen!
*shows Noyd getting out of hospital bed, his skin turned green*
Panel Eight
caption: Noyd discovered he had amazing powers!
*shows Noyd turning into a plant of some kind*
Panel Nine
caption: Though his fans were disappointed, Noyd realized he had a new calling in life... as Plant Lad!
*shows Noyd, now in his super-hero outfit*
Posted by MLLASH on :
Page 2
Panel 1
caption: And for a while, Noyd was just as popular as Plant Lad as he had ever been as a musician...
*shows Plant Lad saving a cat or something*
Panel 2
caption: ...UNTIL Nardo. Until utter defeat.
*shows Nardobots dragging unconscious Plant Lad through the streets*
Panel 3
caption: Until utter subjugation. Until utter humiliation.
*shows Plant Lad being hosed down with other inmates*
Panel 4
caption: And now, today... a man famous twice over on Simballi prays for death.
*Plant Lad, wearing a nullifier, is bound to a post*
Plant Lad: What are you waiting for, scum?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Page 3
Panel 1
Nardo: Waiting...? Why, my friend, we're still in training camp and the season's not yet begun!
Plant Lad: Huh?
Panel 2
Nardo: You, you lucky son of gun, have the great honor of being the guinea pig in a bold new experiment! Some day your name will be remembered in the annals of science! They'll speak of you alongside Laika!
Plant Lad: Who?
Panel 3
Nardo: Laika! The first dog in space! Earth people sent her up into orbit before they sent any humans!
Plant Lad: Sorry, man, never heard of her.
Panel 4
Nardo: Gee whiz! I thought she was famous among you humans!
Plant Lad: We didn't really study much ancient Earth history growing up on Simballi.
Panel 5
Nardo: Bah! It doesn't matter! What matters is that I have captured the perfect instrument to achieve my goals!
Posted by MLLASH on :
Page 4
*full-page splash, Nardo looks all maniacal while Plant Lad looks a bit terrified*
Nardo: Nardroids! The cosmic sand is rushing through the hourglass and I haven't got all night! BRING IN THE KRYPTONIAN!
*title/credits run along bottom of page Stupid Stalag of Space Part 2: He Fattened Me With Science!
[ June 08, 2004, 08:16 PM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Page 5
Panel 1
Tenzil: Okay, so if I'm reading this correctly, Dev-Em's signal leads to that small, uncharted planetoid up ahead!
Tiffany: *yawn*! That's good, I'm so looking forward to seeing Lester again!
Panel 2
Tenzil: Well, hopefully it won't be long now.
Tiffany: By the way, about that whole space-chilli incident, I hope you realize that's not a normal thing for me. I don't know what came over me!
Panel 3
Tiffany: I mean... I usually only eat the finest foods. My body just isn't accustomed to eating so commonly!
Tenzil: That's okay. Let's just not talk about it anymore.
Panel 4
Tiffany: You still like me, don't you, Tenzy-poo?
Tenzil: Listen, can you just be quiet for the time being? I've got to find somewhere to land this spacecraft safely.
Panel 5
Tenzil: There seem to be two small settlements on this world, but I don't think it's a good idea to try to land to near either of them. I've got a bad feeling about this place. I think it would be a good idea to park in the jungle until we've had some time to explore.
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 6
Panel 1
Tiffany: That looks like a nice clearing over there.
Tenzil: Yes. it'll do.
Panel 2
*shows ship touching down in clearing, dense jungle all around*
Panel 3
*Tiff & Tenz disenbark*
Tiffany: Wow... I've been with Daddy to Safari planets before, but this... THIS is JUNGLE.
Tenzil: Nothing like it on Bismoll, that's for certain.
Panel 4
Tiffany: It's actually kind of eerie...
Panel 5
*vibrations shake Tiff & Tenz*
Tenzil: Jumping fishooks!
Tiffany: That NOISE...! What could it be...?
Panel 6
Tenzil: Popping planets!
*scene shows giant Phanders emerging from jungle, heading directly toward Tenz & Tiffany*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 7
Panel 1
*Tenzil grabs Tiffany*
Tenzil: Look out!
Panel 2
*Tenz pulls Tiff out of the way of the Phanders*
Panel 3
*Tenz and Tiff land in the bushes as the Phanders go by*
Panel 4
*Phanders storm into the clearing, heading straight towards spaceship*
Panel 5
Tenzil: Jeepers! That was close!
Tiffany: You... you saved me!
Panel 6
*Tenz and Taryn emerge back into the clearing to find their spaceship has been destroyed*
Tenzil: Wow! It looks like we're going to have to find another way home...
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 8
Panel 1
voice from behind: You shant ever worry about "home" again, slaves! You ARE home now!
Panel 2
*Tenz & Tiff whirl around to see a Nardroid holding a ray-gun*
Tenzil: Jeebus!
Tiffany: That has GOT to be the single most ugly thing I've ever seen.
Panel 3
*Nardroid blasts Tiffany*
Nardroid: Idiotic female! This will silence your nonsensical chattering!
Tiffany: Eeeeekkk!
Panel 4
*Tenz cradles Tiffany*
Tenzil: Tiffany... oh, no...!
Panel 5
Tenzil: You BASTARD!
*Tenz leaping at Nardroid, mouth open wide*
Panel 6
*Nardroid holding ray-gun; a bite has been taken out of it*
Panel 7
Tenzil: Don't MESS with me, Apple-face-- I'm a senator!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 9
Panel 1
*Nardroid punches Tenzil, who staggers back*
Tenzil: *Ooof!*
Panel 2
*Tenzil punches Nardroid, which has no effect*
Tenzil: Oh-kay... time for a new strategy.
Panel 3
*Tenz runs and starts eating a tree*
Panel 4
*Tree falls on Nardroid*
Panel 5
*Tenz gloats over fallen Nardroid as two other Nardroids come up behind him*
Tenz: And that's what you get for messing with a senator!
Panel 6
*The other two Nardroids blast Tenz from behind*
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 10
Panel 1
Lester: OooooOooohhh...
*close up of Lester's face-- he's all sweaty and stuff-- the reader shouldn't be certain whether he is groaning in pain or in pleasure*
Panel 2
*scene pulls back to reveal shirtless, sweaty Lester slaving in a mine with a pickaxe*
Lester: This is the suckiest suck that ever sucked! I don't know how much longer I can sucking take it!
False-Pretenses Lad: You've only been out here 10 minutes.
Panel 3
Lester: And I was over it about 9 minutes ago.
False-Pretenses Lad: It isn't so bad once you get used to it.
Panel 4
Lester: I don't believe you.
F-P Lad: Wise boy. My super-lying powers usually fool everyone.
Lester: I seriously doubt that.
Panel 5
*Nardroid zaps Lester*
Nardroid: Stop lollygagging, slave!
Panel 6
Lester: *under breath* Stupid three-eyed...
F-P Lad: *tee hee!* They always pick on the fresh meat!
Panel 7
*Nardroid zaps False Pretenses Lad*
Nardroid: Quit goldbricking, slave!
Panel 8
*Lester grinning at F-P Lad's pained expression*
False-Pretenses Lad: I guess we better get to it before we end up like poor Plant Lad...
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 11
Panel One
*shows Taryn's ship in orbit around Thrann, on its last legs, sputtering noises coming from it*
Panel Two
Taryn: Grife! "Legion of Substitute Space-parts"... this thing better hold together long enough to get me to the ground.
Panel Three
*Taryn's ship lands in Thrann's spaceport*
Panel Four
*shows Taryn walking away from ship*
Taryn: *whew*! That wasn't so bad!
Panel Five
*Parts of ship fall off as Taryn walks away from it*
Panel Six
Taryn: Now... to check out this planet and see if Tenzil's still here...
[ June 10, 2004, 08:44 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 12
Panel 1
*Thora coverses via vid-com with Azura and Eve*
Thora: ...and the Loy woman has YET to show up!
Panel 2
Azura: She must think you are a simpleton! This is a slap in the face! YOUR face!
Panel 3
Thora: NO one-- male OR female-- slaps Thora!
Panel 4
Eve: Now ladies, I'm certain there's an explanation for Ms. Loy's tardiness...
Panel 5
Thiora: Silence, Eve! I've tolerated your wishy-washiness long enough!
Panel 6
Eve: How DARE you...?!!
Panel 7
Thora: I dare MUCH, Eve... as you well know.
Panel 8
Azura: Settle down, people... remember that the three of us are allies. Thora, if Loy won't come to you...
Panel 9
Azura continues off-panel: ...perhaps you must go to HER.
*Thora grins evilly as the light from the vid-screen gives her an unearthly glow*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 13
Panel 1
*Tiffany laying unconcious on a bed*
Panel 2
*Water splashes on Tiffany, waking her up*
Tiffany: Wha--?
Panel 3
*A large-nosed woman stands over top of Tiffany, having just poured the water on her*
Hazel: Ah... good! That finally woke you up!
Tiffany: Where am I? Who are you?
Panel 4
Hazel: Where are you? My poor dear! You are in the place you least want to be. They call me Nasal Hazel, but just Hazel will do. I've been a prisoner here for awhile.
Tiffany: "Prisoner"? *Gasp*!
Panel 5
Hazel: You're in Nardo's super-stalag of space, dearie! The prison-camp where no one escapes, or so they say!
Tiffany: "Super-Stalag of Space"? *Gasp*!
Panel 6
Hazel: Don't worry too much, though. Fortunately, the girl's wing ain't nearly as bad as the boy's. Nardo doesn't seem as interested in us, for some reason. Now get up. I've got a whole bunch of laundry to do, and you're going to help me.
Tiffany: "Laundry"? *Gasp*!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 14
Panel 1
*shows inmates walking back toward barracks*
False Pretenses Lad: Aaaaah. Another day, another bucket of slop for dinner.
Weight Wizard: I'm famished! I can't wait!
Panel 2
Lester: Can't wait to eat slop? Moron.
Blockade Boy: Don't pick on him!
Panel 3
Lester: Shut your HOLE, Kid Crew-cut. I'm hanging on by a THREAD here... I don't know WHAT'S happened to the man I love, I'm worrying myself SICK over him, AND I'm being worked like a sub-puppy... and YOU freaks could have gotten me and Dev out of this. But you REFUSED! REFUSED
Panel 4
Key Kid: We explained why we...
Lester: Shut up! I have half a mind to expose your little scheme to... WHAT the...?
Panel 5
Lester: Jeebus! Over there-- is that Tenzil...? TENZIL!
Panel 6
*Tenzil calls from across a crowd of inmates*
Tenzil: Lester!!
Panel 7
*Lester shoves Weight Wizard aside*
Lester: Outta my way, blondie!
Panel 8
*Tenzil and Lester embrace, thrilled to see each other* Panel 9
Lester: *a tear streams from his eye* I almost didn't recognize you without your sunglasses!
False Pretenses Lad: *sarcastic expression* So much for him worrying about "the man he loves".
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 15
Panel One
Lester: I'm so excited! I can't believe you came to rescue me! So... when do we leave?
Tenzil: Uh... well, Lester, you see... that's just the problem. I didn't exactly come to rescue you. Tiffany and I were looking for you, and...
Panel Two
Lester: Tiffany? You're here with that self-centered, stuck-up, boyfriend-stealing sister of mine? Bah! I don't care if I never speak to her again!
Panel Three
Tenzil: Look, she was really worried about you, and we tracked you down to this planet, and then there were these giant elephants, and then there were these three-eyed guys, and they shot Tiffany, and...
Panel Four
Lester: Shot her!?! You let my darling sister get shot by the Nardroids?!? Hmphh! She better be okay... or I'm never speaking to you again!
Tenzil: I don't know. I haven't seen her since it happened...
Panel Five
Lester: Venturan Walking Money! Now I suppose we've got to rescue Tiffany from the girl's camp acros the way as well as escaping ourselves! Could this situation get any worse?
[ June 12, 2004, 10:13 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 16
Panel 1
False Pretenses Lad: Sure it could get worse. The Nardroids could zap you with their Punishment Rays again.
Lester: *to FP Lad* Y'know what? I disliked you instantly, and being around you more has only fostered that dislike. My dislike for you has blossomed like some sort of space-lilly. Why don't you, I dunno... kind of disappear until later in this story? Maybe you could turn up again when some cannon-fodder is needed...
Panel 2
Tenzil: *to Lester* I see you've made some new friends!
Panel 3
False Pretenses Lad: Fine. I'll leave you alone. Never mind that I know where they're holding the *making quote marks with his fingers* "man you love"!
Panel 4
Tenzil: But... I'm right here!
Panel 5
Lester: *Lester grabs FP Lad* Dev!! You know where he is? Is he alright?!?
Tenzil: Dev? Who's Dev? Oh yeah-- "the hot pop in Popping Hotties" Dev.
Panel 6
Blockade Boy: Uh oh! Someone's jealous!
[ June 13, 2004, 10:48 AM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 17
Panel 1
caption: Later that night...
Tenzil: Okay, so here's the plan... False-Pretenses Lad here says that Dev-Em is being held in this building here.
Panel 2
Tenzil: I'll eat us a tunnel there... which we can use to grab Dev-Em and bring him with us...
Panel 3
Tenzil: In the meantime, Key Kid and his squad will sneak over to the spacecraft hangar and hotwire one of Nardo's ships...
Panel 4
Tenzil: Then we tunnel to the hangar ourselves, and blast off...
Panel 5
Tenzil: Once we've got a ship, we quickly fly over to the girl's camp to rescue Tiffany and whoever else...
Panel 6
Tenzil: Then we fly off into space, and soon enough I'm back on Bismoll and chatting with Taryn about how her tea with Thora went!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 18
Panel 1
Key Kid: Of course, we'll notify the space-authorities of Nardo's whereabouts and close down his Super-Stalag for good!
Panel 2
Lester: Fabulous, let's get to it. Tenzil, get to chomping!
Panel 3
*shows Tenzil bite into the floor* >munch!<
Panel 4
Blockade Boy: Well, I guess we're out of here too...
Lester: Look, guys, I'm sorry we got off on the wrong foot but I just wanted to say...
Panel 5
Weight Wizard: Yes...?
Lester: ...Hurry the hell up and don't blow it!
Panel 6
*Weight Wizard, Key Kid & Blockade Boy exit the barracks, looking disgruntled*
Panel 7
Lester: FASTER, Tenzil-- eat it faster!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 19
Panel 1
*inside the tunnel*
Lester: Okay, I understand why we had to bring False-Pretenses Lad along, since he knows the layout of the place, but how'd we get stuck with Opposable Big Toes Boy?
Tenzil: *Chomp* Don't worry about it, Lester! Besides... you never know when a guy with four hands'll come in... er... handy!
Panel 2
Lester: Sheesh! Okay... but he smells kind of funny. I don't think I can stand being down in this enclosed environment with him much longer!
Tenzil: *Chomp*!
Panel 3
False-Pretenses Lad: We should almost be there...
Tenzil: I'll tunnel up through the floor, which should take us straight to Dev-Em's cell!
Panel 4
*a darkened room, focusing on a hole in the floor*
Tenzil (voice in hole): Let Big Toes there hold your lights while you climb out!
Panel 5
*Tenzil climbing up through hole*
Panel 6
*Tenzil and FPL pulling Lester up*
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 20
Panel 1 should be a smallish rectangular panel running across the top of page
*lights come on, Tenzil & Lester look startled but FPL is smiling*
off-panel voice: Boldy venturing where no incarcerated sentient has dared venture before, I see?
Panel 2 is a rest-of-page splash featuring Tenz, Les & FPL staring down Nardo; also in the shot should be Dev-Em, bound and sickly looking, and Plant Lad, who instead of his former svelte self now easily weight 500 pounds and is lying in the floor helplessly.
Nardo: I've made a list but I'm not bothering to check it twice-- you've been VERY naughty, boys!
Lester: Dev!
Tenzil: Is Dev the fat dude?
Plant Lad: K... kill me...
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 21
Panel One
*Lester notices FPL smiling*
Lester: You... you betrayed us! You led us into a trap!
False-Pretenses Lad: And you doubted my super-lying powers? Jerk.
Panel Two
Nardo: Seize them!
Panel Three
*Nardroids capture Lester and Tenzil*
Panel Four
Tenzil: Oof! What are you going to do with us?
Nardo: Come on down! You are the next contestant on "Who Wants to be Super-Fatassed?"! Ha ha ha!
Panel Five
Nardo (turns to FPL): Well done, old fellow! There'll be extra slop for you tomorrow!
FPL: Gee, thanks!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 22
Panel 1
Tenzil thought caption: Jeebus! If only I hadn't ordered Taryn to visit Thora... I may never see her again... I hope she's alright...!
Panel 2
caption: Whatever DID become of Taryn, one might wonder...
Taryn thought caption: Gee, I wonder if Tenz and Tiffany ever found Lester? Maybe I should check in...?
Panel 3 <rest of page panel featuring Taryn joyfully dancing on a dancefloor surrounded by the Super-Companions and other Thrannians; most of the guys should be shirtless>
Taryn thought caption: Nah, I'm sure they're fine...
NEXT ISSUE! "Stupid Stalag of Space" continues --maybe even concludes!-- in the story that could ONLY be called "...AND ONE SHALL SURELY BE FATASSED!" Posted by MLLASH on :
MATTER-EATER LAD # 10
PAGE 1
Panel 1
*shows Taryn at club*
caption: It's really odd being Taryn Loy.
Panel 2
*shows Taryn smoking a space-doobie with her Thrannian pals*
caption: Dad was never around unless he was experimenting on me.
Panel 3
*shows Taryn in pool with Thrannians*
caption: Mom ran off after he gave her those extra breasts. I haven't seen her in years.
Panel 4
*shows Taryn & pals watching a drag show*
caption: I've had to be an adult since I was 12.
Panel 5
*shows Taryn & pals drinking at a restaurant table*
caption: Maybe age 19 is early to have your second childhood, but I never got to have my first one.
Panel 6
*Taryn & pals on the beach*
caption: I've been on Thrann for 3 days now... 3 of the most glorious days of my life!
Panel 7
*Taryn & pals bowling*
caption: The guys here treat me well, they respect me... and they're SO fun!
Panel 8
*Taryn lifting Shower and Treehugger victoriously as they sit on either palm*
caption: They've even made me the official "Fairy Princess" of the Super-Companions!
Panel 9
*Taryn & the Companions having a slumber party, watching holovision*
caption: I may NEVER leave Thrann...
Holovision: We interrupt this broadcast of the BOYZ 4 U concert to bring you this awful announcement...
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE TWO
Panel One
*Picture of Tiffany on screen behind newscaster*
Holovision: Tiffany Spiffany, heiress to Earth's swankiest jewelry establishment and one of the most eligible young women in the galaxy, has apparently been kidnapped!
Panel Two
*Shot of bottle hitting spaceship*
Holovision: Sources say that the Space-Freighter Valium came across a message in a bottle, claiming to be from Miss Spiffany.
Panel Three
*Shot of Taryn and Tenzil at the Space-Truckstop*
Holovision: Apparently, Miss Spiffany was travelling with popular Bismollian senator and former reality TV star Tenzil Kem, whom some reports have linked her with romantically, in search of her brother Lester, who has apparently been missing for some weeks.
Panel Four
*Shot of Nardroids*
Holovision: According to the message, Tiffany and Tenzil are being held prisoner by "icky red three-eyed bulbous-headed guys".
Panel Five
*Shot of Tiffany doing laundry*
Holovision: Tiffany describes the conditions in the camp where she is being held as "indescribably horrible". Apparently, her kidnappers are forcing her to do manual labor!
Panel Six
*shot of newscaster*
Holovision: It is not yet clear how Tiffany managed to get a message to the outside world, or what can be done to rescue her, but you can be sure that this station will keep you abreast of developments!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 3
Panel 1
Taryn: Damn, damn, DAMN!!
Splash: What's wrong, Princess?
Panel 2
Taryn: That's LESTER'S sister! She and Tenzil DID get into trouble, I KNEW it!
Panel 3
Othar: Yeah, they were tracking down Lester and our bud Dev-Em for some reason.
Taryn: HER reasons. It's HER fault.
Panel 4
Othar: She seemed quite the fiesty, gassy gal.
Taryn: Othar, we've got to go find them! Not only Tenzil and Tiffany. What became of Lester & Dev-Em?
Panel 5
Othar: Well, it's hard to imagine anything Dev-Em couldn't handle.
Taryn: Yet they're ALL apparently missing.
Panel 6
Shower: The Super-Companions don't mind helping, Taryn-- Dev-Em IS one of us, after all... and Lester too, kind-of...
Mzgrzz: But can't we wait until after the BOYZ 4 U concert...?
Panel 7
Taryn: Oh, absolutely.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 3
Panel One
caption: The Super-Stalag of Space, the Girl's camp...
*Tiffany and the other female prisoners are sewing*
Tiffany: Thanks ever so much for helping me send that message, Antequated-Forms-of-Communication Lass! I just hope someone finds it!
AFoCL: No problem, Tiff! My expertise in primitive forms of communication doesn't usually come in handy, but it may be just the ticket to get us out of this jam!
Panel Two
Tiffany (pricks herself with sewing needle): Oww! I'm starting to wish we had Antequated-Forms-of-Clothing-Manufacture Lass with us, however!
Negative Nell: I wonder what Nardo wants with all these expando-suits he's having us make?
Panel Three
Itch Witch: Yeah, it seems like the Nardobots are pretty much "one size fits all". What could he possible need with clothing that can expand to fit any size wearer?
Panel Four
*Nardroid enters*
Nardroid: Females! You show remarkable progress on the expando-suits! The master will be pleased!
Panel Five
Nardroid: Here is the master's order for dinner! You will find the ingredients, as usual, in the kitchen. I will return in one hour to collect it!
Panel Six
Hazel: Okay, who's turn is it to cook tonight? Tiffany?
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 4
Panel 1
Tiffany: (to self) *sigh* It's times like these that makes me miss me multi-trillion credit fortune.
Itch Witch: Never you mind, dear... I'll do the cooking for Nardo tonight. I've got a special ingredient I'm just itching to use in the recipe... *tee hee!*
Panel 2
Tiffany: THAT'S a relief! At home I have 21 different chefs, 1 for each meal of each day of the week, so I never learned much about cooking.
Panel 3
*suddenly Took appears on table, the girls are startled*
Multi Maid: TOOK!
Negative Nell: But... HOW...?
Panel 4
Took: I've been with the team all along. I followed disguised as a dust mote. I've been at the boys' camp and discovered Nardo's horrible plans!
Panel 5
Took: The real reason you gals are making these clothes is... Nardo's super-fatass fetish!
Panel 6
Tiffany: Fatass? *gasp!*
Took: Yes, and your brother and his friend are next on Nardo's ass-fattening agenda!
Panel 7
Tiffany: Lester's HERE?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 5
SPLASH PAGE
*Tenzil, Lester, Blockade Boy, Key Kid, and Weight Wizard are all hanging by shackles*
Lester: Great Ergloks! Why, oh why do I have to be here? Anywhere but here would be so much better...
TITLE (along bottom of page): ...AND ONE SHALL SURELY BE FATASSED!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 6
Panel 1
Lester (to WW): I *knew* you guys would blow it.
Weight Wizard: Hello! I think YOU guys were captured first.
Panel 2
Tenzil: I wonder whatever happened to Big Toes Boy?
Lester: Who cares.
Panel 3
*a curtain is raised, revealing Nardo and a bound, sickly Dev-Em. Behind them is the fatassed Plant Lad.
Nardo: IT'S SHOWTIME! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Panel 4
Tenzil: Twisted fiend!
Nardo: Twisted? I say thee nay. Is it twisted to desire female companionship?
Panel 5
Tenzil: No.
Lester Yes.
Nardo: SILENCE! Long ago, my calculations revealed that the energy from my third eye, when passed through the super-body of a Kryptonian, causes humans to swell to massive proportions. You see its effect on the once-skinny Plant Lad.
Panel 6
Key Kid: But WHY would you want to make people fat?
Lester: And why does Dev look so bad?
Panel 7
Nardo: The Kryptonian is kept in check with exposure to a substance that weakens him.
Lester: That green glowing stuff!
Panel 8
As for why I want to enfatten you... the women of my home planet are all similarly shaped to Plant Lad's new proportions and have genetalia similar to human males. Once YOU five are bathed in the rays of my third eye, you will join Plant Lad... as my concubines!
Panel 9
Tenzil: Jumping fishooks!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 7
Panel 1
*Several Nardroids are tending a pen in which a number of chicken-like creatures are enclosed. Opposable Big Toes Boy can be seen swinging from vines in the background*
Nardroid 1: These chryka birds are getting nice and plump! The master will enjoy consuming them!
Panel 2
*Big Toes lands on the roof of another nearby building*
Panel 3
*Big Toes swings down to ground*
Panel 4
*Big Toes hears voices around the corner*
Nardroid 2: Did you hear something?
Nardroid 3: I'll go check it out.
Panel 5
*Big Toes ducks inside the building*
Panel 6
*Inside the building, Big Toes hides in a room labeled "Cultural Acclimation Chamber"*
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 8
Panel 1
Nardo: That's right, you will all have the great honor of being my harem! Tending to my every wanton desire! How beautiful you will all be... once you are the proper womanly size, of course. It's time to turn you skinny ugly ducklings into big fat beautiful swans!
Panel 2
Nardo: And I shall begin with the one of you I MOST desire...
Panel 3
*Nardo's third eye glows*
Panel 4
*Nardo's third eye blasts at Dev-Em; Dev-Em looks even more pained*
Panel 5
*the blast reflects from Dev-Em and hits Lester*
Panel 6
Key Kid: NOW! *shows all the manacles opening and falling off the prisoners*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 9
Panel 1
*Weight Wizard leaps in the air, super-light*
Panel 2
*WW makes himself super-heavy, falling on Nardo*
Panel 3
*Nardroids rush in*
Nardroid: We must help the master!
Panel 4
*Tenzil stands face to face with a Nardroid*
Tenzil: So why do you guys just do whatever this creep tells you to? Don't you ever get tired of taking orders from your "master"?
Nardroid: Fool! We are non-living androids! We are made to serve! We have no independent will or consciousness of our own!
Panel 5
Tenzil: "Non-living", eh? So what your saying is basically you're just a hunk of inanimate matter?
Nardroid: Precisely, foolish human!
Panel 6
Tenzil: That's just what I wanted to hear!
Panel 7
*shows Tenzil standing over Nardroid with huge chunks bitten out of him...*
Tenzil: Jeepers! These Nardroids sure are tasty!
[ June 20, 2004, 02:21 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 10
Panel 1
Nardo: Off me, human! *Nardo is scratching his arm while his eye blasts Weight Wizard*
Panel 2
*more Nardobots rush in*
Nardo: Capture these idiots, idiots! *Nardo is scratching his leg*
Panel 3
*Key Kid releases Dev-Em's bonds*
Panel 4
*Tenzil & Blockade Boy fight Nardroids; Key Kid can be seen in the background carrying Dev-Em out*
Panel 5
Nardo: *to Nardroids* The Kryptonian!! He must not get too far away from this building! I'll deal with these fools, you recapture the Kryptonian! *Nardo is scratching his groin*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 11
Panel 1
*Outside, Key Kid is carrying Dev-Em, the Nardobots are right behind him*
Panel 2
*Key Kid puts Dev-Em down, points at the chryka bird cages, which open*
Panel 3
*The chryka birds fly out amidst the Nardobot, slowing them down*
Panel 4
*Nardobots begin to emerge from the flock of chryka birds, but are now covered in feathers*
Panel 5
Key Kid: *gasp*! That only slowed them down a bit!
Panel 6
*Nardobots start collapsing*
Panel 7
*Kid Heavyfeathers is there, with Negative Nell and Multi-Maid behind him*
Kid Heavyfeathers: You look like you could use some help, my friend! It looks like these lovely ladies here released me from captivity just in time!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 12
Panel 1
Key Kid: Kid Heavyfeathers! Praise Mooga!
Kid Heavyfeathers: The girls prison started this revolt!
Panel 2:
Negative Nell: Itch Witch got the ball rolling with a little something she added to Nardo's dinner earlier. It should be reaching its full impact any moment!
Panel 3
Multi-Maid: Then our buddy Took showed up and filled us in on Nardo's awful plans!
Nell: Yeah, so we overpowered the few Nardobots at our camp.
Panel 4
Nell: Nardo will be sorry he underestimated us women!
Key Kid: Actually, uh... I think us guys are considered women by Nardo...
Panel 5
Kid Heavyfeathers: Huh?
Key Kid: Never mind. Look, I have to get Dev-Em away from this building so his powers will kick back in-- and Weight Wizard, Blockade Boy and that eating guy are inside fighting Nardo!
off-panel voice: How can I help?
Panel 6
Key Kid: False Pretenses Lad!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 14 (correcting for the fact we have two pg 3's)
Panel 1
caption: Inside...
*Nardo is scratching his butt...
Nardo: I'm not licked yet! It's time to go out there and win one for the Gipper!
Panel 2
*Nardo takes out Blockade Boy with "nuclear blasts" from his hands.
Panel 3
*Nardo and Tenzil stand face to face*
Nardo: It's just you and me, Bismollian!
Tenzil: Jumping fishhooks!
Panel 4
Nardo: Unfortunately, your superhuman Bismollian metabolism makes you immune to my fatassing powers!
Tenzil: That's unfortunate, all right!
Panel 5
Nardo: That, of course, means that I have no reason to keep you alive!
Tenzil: *Gulp*!
Panel 6
*Close-up on Nardo shooting blasts from hands*
Nardo: You're fired!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 15
Panel 1
*shows Tenzil swallowing the energy beam!*
Tenzil: And unfortunately for YOU, energy is a type of matter! I learned it in a holo-comic book. And I, of course, can eat matter in ALL forms...!!
Panel 2
Nardo: That's amazing how you kept talking with all those rays blasting down your throat.
Tenzil: Thanks.
Panel 3
*Nardo punches Tenzil*
Nardo: Eye of the tiger!
Panel 4
*shows Nardo rushing outside*
Nardo: I must recapture the Kryptonian!
Panel 5
*now outside*
Nardo: *scratching side of head* Now WHERE could he have...
Panel 6
*Nardo is struck by a startled chykra bird that has fallen from above*
Nardo: Arrrrgh!
Panel 7
Negative Nell: You ROCK, Kid Heavyfeathers!
Kid Heavyfeathers: And to think, the Legion REJECTED me!
Panel 8
Nardo: *scratching chest* FOOLS!! YOU WILL ALL DIE HORRIBLY!!
Panel 9
Nell: BACK, Nardo-- or face the fury of Negative Nell!!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 16
Panels 1, 2, 3, and 4 run across the top of the page, and have captions with Nardo's picture in them, indicating he is doing the narrating.
Panel 1
Caption: Negative Nell represents a serious thread to me! I remember her origin... how her evil scientist father blew up their homeworld with a doomsday device!
Panel 2
Caption: Her father was transformed in the explosion to a being of pure energy... the evil Positive Man!
Panel 3
Caption: Before destroying his world, he shipped baby Nell away in a rocketship, but she was still close enough to be exposed to the weird radiations of the explosion!
Panel 4
Caption: Rather than being transformed into energy, she gained the power to project explosive negative energy blasts!
Panel 5
Nell: So what's it gonna be, Three-Eyes!
Nardo (smiling): Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn!
Panel 6
*False-Pretense Lad blasts Nell from behind with a stun gun!
Panel 7
*Suddenly, Nardroids surround the gang from every side*
[ June 25, 2004, 06:10 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 17
Panel 1
*a Nardroid drags the unconscious Key Kid & Dev-Em towards the gang*
Panel 2
Nardo: NOW who's the boss? HA HA HA! I'm too sexy for this insubordination! NARDROIDS! March the prisoners to the Lilly-Pond! An example MUST be made!
Panel 3
Nardo: Except for the Kryptonian! Throw him back into The Ass-Fattening Chamber, where the Kryptonite will continue to subdue him!
Panel 4
caption: And shortly...
*Nardo stands before Nell, Kid Heavyfeathers, Blockade Boy, Weight Wizard, Tenzil, and Multi-Maid; they are beside a pond with HUGE lillypads*
Nardo: You fools will now see how Nardo punishes the naughty!
Panel 5
*Nardo pushes Blockade Boy into the pond*
Blockade Boy: What the...?
Panel 6
*the lillys seem to spring to life and swarm their feelers all over Blockade Boy*
Blockade Boy: NooooOOOOoooooo!
Panel 7
*Blockade Boy is pulled inside one of the lillys*
Panel 8
Nardo: *to BB's legs, still visible from the lilly* Kiss mah grits!
Panel 9
Nardo: *to the rest* And so shall you ALL perish, should you pull another idiotic escape attempt!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 18
Panel 1
*A rumbling sound can be heard in the distance*
Nardobot: Master, what is that?
Panel 2
*A heard of phanders is rushing towards them*
Nardo: That's impossible! Phanders never come to this side of the jungle
Panel 3
*As the phanders crush the Nardobots, the lead phander turns into a bird. Itch Witch can be seen flying as well...*
Multi-Maid: It's Took! And Itch Witch!
Panel 4
*The Super-Companions's spaceship hovers above*
Panel 5
*The Super-Companions+Taryn fly out of their ship, and start engaging the remaining Nardobots in battle*
Othar: Let's get them, my super-companions!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 19
Panel 1
Tenzil: TARYN!!! Man oh MAN am I glad to see you!!! These 3-eye-guys are robots! Chow down, baby!
Panel 2
Taryn: It's good >munch< to see you >crunch< too!
Panel 3
Mzgrzz: Robots, eh? Then they are vulnerable to my matter-rearranging power!
*shows a Nardroid become a disco ball*
Panel 4
Splash: And electronics HATE to get wet!
*shows bottom half of Splash wetting a short-circuiting Nardroid*
Panel 5
Itch Witch: from the air, above Nardo* Took-- the big guy himself tries to escape! Let us chase AFTER him! >cackle!!<
Panel 6
Took <as a bird>: He won't get away!
Panel 7
Shower: We've got to find Lester and Dev-Em too!
Tenzil: Lester...? Oh, GRIFE!! I almost forgot..!!!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 20
Panel 1
caption: Soon...
*Everyone is back at the camp... Nardo is tied up, and struggling to scratch himself!*
Itch Witch: I think Nardo's got what he deserved! I hit him with a full dose of my itching spells this time!
Panel Two:
Weight Wizard: And look who I've caught! This weasel False-Pretenses Lad, who betrayed us twice!
FLP: No... you've got it all wrong! I'm on your side!
Panel Three
Key Kid: Give it up, you fink! We won't fall for your lies, this time!
A voice from off-panel: But he's not lying!
Panel Four
Multi-Maid: Blockade Boy! But, *choke*, I thought you were dead!
Blockade Boy: I'm not... thanks to False-Pretenses Lad's quick thinking! Knowing that Nardo would take us to the lily-pond to execute us, he secretly enlisted the aid of Plant Lad to pose as one of the evil lillies!
Panel Five
FPL: Fortunately, I'd secretly reprogrammed a couple of the Nardroids to help me carry him out to the swamp!
Key Kid: But why? We thought you were on Nardo's side! That's why you shot Nell, right?
Panel Six:
FPL: I shot Nell because the Nardroids were approaching and I knew I could help you better if Nardo thought I was on his side! And I betrayed your first escape plan because I knew it wouldn't work, thanks to the fact that Nardo had his spaceship encoded to only operate by the command of his own voice!
Panel 7
Key Kid: But why all the secrecy and deceit?
FLP: Hey, I'm False-Pretenses Lad! That's kind of my shtick!
[ June 25, 2004, 08:23 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
Page 21
Panel 1
Off-panel voice: Bah! So Kid Crew-cut survived! Who cares?
*shot of Lester, sweating, lying lodged in doorway, easily 500 lbs*
Lester: What about ME? Look what that bastard's DONE to me!!
Panel 3
Tenzil: Jeebus...
Taryn: *stifling a laugh* Lester...?
Othar: Is THAT the once-lovely Lester Spiffany...?
Panel 4
*Tiffany kneeling down by Lester, upset*
Tiffany: Shut UP, all of you! Can't you see my brother's a big upset fatass?
Lester: T... Tiffany...? Oh, Tiffany... this... this... STUPID Stalag of Space... it's STUPID, all of it STUPID...!
Panel 5
Tiffany: *tenderly* I know it is, I know... you rest now...
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 22
Panel 1
Tenzil: I'm sure we'll figure out some way of fixing Lester up so he's a good as he ever was! I know one of the best doctors in the galaxy, this three-armed chap by the name of Gym'll!
Panel 2
Tiffany (sobbing): Oh, do you really think he could do something for my poor, poor brother?
Tenzil: If anyone can, I'm sure it's him!
Panel 3
Key Kid: Hey look what Opposable Big Toes Boy found! It seems Nardo had this room where he kept all this footage which he thought represented the ideals of our popular culture!
Panel 4
*Inside the room*
Tenzil: Jeebus! He doesn't have a single holo of Kem Family & Friends! Come to think of it... most of this stuff's a thousand years old!
Panel 5
Weight Wizard: Hmm... you don't think all those weird things he kept saying were simply his attempts to communicate with us in a hipper and more effective way?
Tenzil: It could be...
Panel 6
Tenzil: One thing's for certain... I'm heading home to Bismoll and not leaving the planet for a long, long time. I've had enough of these weird freaks from outer space for the time being!
NEXT ISSUE BLURB
Oh, but Tenzil... if you only knew what the next issue of Matter-Eater Lad had in store for you! Stay-tuned, as Tenz and Friends embark on "The Super-Road Trip of Space!"
[ June 25, 2004, 09:11 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
MATTER-EATER LAD #11
PAGE ONE
Panel 1
*Shot of the gang's slick new spaceship flying through space*
Panel 2
*Tenzil is at the controls, and Taryn by his side
Tenz: Whoa! This new cruiser the Thrannians gave us handles like a charm!
Taryn: You certainly seem to be enjoying it...
Panel 3
Tenz: Oh, you'll get your chance to fly it, Taryn! But right now, I think we should we should put it on autopilot while we do a quick recap of our latest adventure!
Panel 4
Taryn: Why?
Tenzil: Oh, just to make sure everyone's up to speed! We wouldn't want anyone getting lost in the complex storyline or anything!
Panel 5
Taryn: You scare me sometimes, Kem.
Tenzil: Just play along, babe!
Panel 6
Tenzil: It all began when Tiffany Spiffany showed up looking for her missing brother Lester...
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 2
Panel 1
Taryn: I know. I was there.
Panel 2
Tenzil: Then me and Tiffany got kidnapped and stuff by this freaky apple-faced dude named Nardo!
Panel 3
Tiffany: I know. I was there.
Panel 4
Tenzil: Then we tried to escape but it degenerated into a huge brouhaha!
Panel 5
Plant Lad: *is a potted plant of some sort* I know. I was there.
Panel 6
Tenzil: Then Lester got super-fatassed by Nardo!
Panel 7
Lester: You're telling ME!?
Panel 8
Tenzil: Then Taryn showed up with the Super-Companions and together with the other inmates, we defeated Nardo!
Panel 9
Tiffany, Plant Lad, Lester, Taryn, Dev-Em: We know. We were there!
[ June 27, 2004, 09:01 PM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 3
Panel 1
Tenzil: Yeah... so now, we're heading to Legion World to visit my old buddy Dr. Gym'll to see if he can cure Lester and Plant Lad, who is super-fatassed as well except that you can't tell because he's conveniently changed himself into a potted plant to make himself more portable!
Panel 2
*Big Toes is hanging from something attached to the ceiling*
Tiffany: Okay, I know all that. But what I don't understand is why exactly we brought Opposable Big Toes Boy with us.
Tenzil: Oh, Tiff, don't worry about it. Besides, you never know when a guy with four hands'll come in... er... handy!
Panel 3
*Big Toes starts juggling banyo fruit using all four limbs*
Tenz: Ah, look at him! Isn't he cute!
Tiffany: Taryn, could I have a word with you in private?
Taryn: Uh... yeah, I guess.
Panel 4
Caption: Soon, in private...
Tiffany: You know... I really just wanted to tell you how lucky you are. Your boyfriend is such a great guy!
Taryn: Boyfriend? You mean... Tenzil? Hey, we go way back, but he's not exactly my boyfriend...
Panel 5
Tiffany (excitedly): Really? Because you know... he's quite attractive! And his political career might just make him respectable enough to be marriage material...
Taryn: Uh... wait a minute...
Panel 6
Tiffany: Of course, there's the fact that his family's kind of creepy, but I think I could overlook that...
Panel 7
*Tiffany leaving the room*
Tiffany: Thanks, Taryn! I'm so glad we had this conversation!
Taryn (faintly): Yeah...
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 4
Panel 1
Lester: *reaching out for Dev-Em, who is pulling away* Oh, Dev! I'm so glad you're feeling better...!
Dev-Em: Yeah... that kryptonite stuff just about killed me.
Panel 2
Lester: LOOK at me, Dev! Look what that monster did to me!
Dev-Em: It's, ummm... kind of hard NOT to look at you...
Panel 3
Lester: *choke!* Oh, Devkins.. please hold me...
Panel 4
*Dev-Em hesitates, looks unsure*
Panel 5
*Dev-Em hugs Lester*
Panel 6
Lester: You... you hesitated...! You HATE me now! I repulse you!!
Panel 7
Dev-Em: Well, not repulse... Horrify, maybe. Face it, baby-- you're FAT!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 5
Panel 1
Lester: You idiot! You did this to me! It was your stupid super-charged Kryptonian body that Nardo used to fatass me!
Dev-Em: Look, Lester, I'm sorry, but...
Panel 2
Lester: But what? You cause me to balloon up like a... a... balloon, and then you have the nerve to tell me I look fat!
Dev-Em: Uh... it's not just that you look fat...
Panel 3
Lester: Living Crystals of Rojun! And to think, I thought you really cared about me...
Dev-Em: Lester, you don't understand...
Panel 4
Plant Lad: Guys, you are aware that I'm here right?
Dev-Em: Look... let's just see what this Dr. Gym'll can do for you...
Lester: Bah! And what if he can't help me? You'll... you'll never look at me again!
Panel 5
Dev-Em: Lester, please calm down.
Panel 6
*Tenzil pops his head in*
Tenzil: Something wrong in here? I thought I heard shouting...
Lester: No, Tenzil. Just the pitiful cries for attention of a man whose life is ruined...
Panel 7
Tenzil: Well, if everything's okay, then, I'm going to go have a glass of... well, actually, I think I'll just have the glass!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 6
Panel 1
caption: Meanwhile, on Tartarus...
*Infectious Lass and Tenzil (?) lie in bed together*
Drura: Ooooh, tiger! I'm so exhausted!
Panel 2
Tenzil: C'mon baby... one more time...
Panel 3
Drura: I swear, Tenzil-- you are INSATIABLE!
Panel 4
*Drura and Tenzil kiss*
Panel 5
Drura: DOWN, boy... that was your goodnight kiss. I want to get up early and give your sweet Mom a vidcall. I haven't talked to her since you moved here!
Panel 6
Tenzil: M.. Mom...?
Drura: What a sweetheart! I love her so much... almost as much as I love her son Tenzil! Goodnight, stud muffin.
Panel 7
*panel shows Tenzil lying down, worried look on face*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 7
Panel 1
caption: The planet Atavanda...
*A monastery-like environment, scene focuses on a pilgrim*
Panel 2
*The pilgrim approaches a doorway in which a monk stands, guarding the doorway*
Monk: What is your purpose here, my son?
Pilgrim: I come seeking the great teacher.
Panel 3
Monk: And what do you hope to discover?
Pilgrim: What anyone who comes here seeks. Meaning. Purpose. My destiny.
Panel 4
Monk: You may enter.
Pilgrim: Thank you.
Panel 5
*The pilgrim approaches a silhouetted and seated figure*
Panel 6
Silhouetted Figure: I know why you are here. And you are quite blessed! For soon we shall be joined by one of my oldest and dearest friends! I am certain Tenzil will be delighted to meet you!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 8
Panel 1
caption: and zipping through space...
Taryn: Why didn't we just Threshold to Legion World?
Tenzil: Are you kidding? That costs a fortune! I may have money now but I still like to be thrifty!
Panel 2
Taryn: I'm glad you're hanging onto your values.
Tenzil: I hear someone might have let go of some of her values while on Thrann.
Panel 3
Taryn: WHAT? What did those big gossips tell you?
Tenzil: *holding his fingers up as if smoking a space-doobie* Oh, nothing...
Panel 4
Taryn: *head in hands* Oh, grife...
Panel 5
caption: elsewhere on the ship...
Tiffany: Dev-Em? May I speak to Lester... alone?
Dev-Em: *looks excited* SURE!
Panel 6
Tiffany: Take that fern-guy with you, if you don't mind.
Panel 7
Lester: So. Did you come to make fun of your poor little rich big fat brother?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 9
Panel 1
Tiffany: Do you always have to expect the worst from people?
Lester: It usually saves me the trouble of being disappointed.
Panel 2
Tiffany: Lester, I have something I need to tell you...
Lester: Oh, I suppose you're going to tell me that you and Dev-Em have started seeing each other! It figures! It's just like it was with Pytur, isn't it?
Panel 3
Tiffany: *sigh*! How many times to we have to go through this? Pytur was not interested in you. And he and I just went to a play together. As friends.
Lester (mumbling): stupid... both of you stupid...
Panel 4
Tiffany: Look, Lester, will you please listen to me? This is important! It's about Daddy's will...
Panel 5
Lester: So that's it! You've finally convinced Daddy to write me out of the will and leave everything to you! I knew it! It was only a matter of time before you'd cut me out!
Panel 6
Tiffany: Lester, shut up! I'm trying to tell you that I got a look at the will. Apparently... Daddy has another child...
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 10
Panel 1
Thora: Cretins!! Lying cretins!
Panel 2
Bemil Vek: *on vidphone* Ambassador Thora, I assure you... Bismollgov knew nothing about the promises Senator Kem made to you!
Panel 3
Thora: Bah! Thora of Taltar has been lied to by cretinous males before-- this isn't her first time at the super-rodeo of space!
Panel 4
Bemil Vek: Let Bismollgov assure you that ALL of Senator Kem's promises will be fulfilled, but Ms. Loy is currently off-planet!
Panel 5
Thora: *clicking off vidphone* Then you had best hope she returns soon, male dog... Thora of Taltar's patience wears thin!!
Panel 6
*panel pulls back to reveal Azura and Eve, who are in the room with Thora*
Azura: *amused* I swear, Thora-- you crack me up! "Cretin" this and "male dog" that! Did you see him break out in that sweat?
Eve: He looked genuinely concerned to me.
Panel 7
Thiora: He'd best be concerned... for the sake of his planet!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 11
Panel 1
Dev-Em: ...so you understand, don't you? I mean... Lester was fun for awhile, but he's so possessive. And now he's so fat...
Plant Lad: Look man, I remember back after I first gained the powers that turned me into Plant Lad...
Panel 2
caption *with Plant Lad as plotted plant picture*: ...at first I tried to go back to my career as pop star on Simballi...
*shows Plant Lad in the studio with space-guitar strapped on*
Panel 3
caption: ...and fortunately I found that my musical ability wasn't affected at all by my condition...
*Shows Noyd and the Navigators listening to the new single they just recorded*
Band Member: Noyd, this is the grooviest song you've ever written! I'm sure it'll be a huge hit!
Panel 4
caption: ...but soon I discovered that many of my old "fans" were turned off by my new appearance...
*Noyd and the Navigators playing on stage, but the fans just aren't into it...
Teen-aged fan #1: Oooh... Noyd used to be so cute! But now he's just all green and icky!
Teen-aged fan #2: And to think... I used to want to marry him when I grew up!
Teen-aged fan #3: I just bought Lakt Tephron's new space-album! He's so dreamy!
Panel 5
caption: ...and so that's when I decided to hang up my space-guitar...
*shows Noyd walking away from the Navigators*
Panel 6
*back to Dev and PL talking*
Plant Lad: What I discovered was that my so-called fans weren't really interested in the music I was making, but in my image.
Dev: So, what are you saying?
Panel 7
Plant Lad: If you don't really dig Lester for himself, but only for his body, then it's better that he find out sooner rather than later. It may hurt, but it's better than keeping him deluded.
Dev: Hmm... maybe you're right...
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 12
Panel 1
*Dev-Em writing a note on an omnicom*
Dev-Em: Noyd, it's been very nice talking to you...
Panel 2
*Dev places omnicom in the pot Noyd is planted in*
Dev-Em: Please see that Lester gets this, and thanks.
Panel 3
*Dev-Em walking down hallway*
Panel 4
*Dev-Em disengaging airlock*
Panel 5
*Dev-Em flying through space, away from the ship*
Panel 6
Plant Lad (as plant): Good luck, mate.
*omnicom message is partially visible from pot*
omnicom message: Lester, I need some time to clear my head... am going back to Thrann for some down-time... I hope everything turns out well for you...
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 13
Panel 1
Tenzil: This is Senator Tenzil Kem of Bismoll, aboard private space cruiser, requesting permission to land.
Panel 2
Voice on intercom: Please download passenger and cargo information.
Tenzil: Downloading now.
Panel 3
*Triad appears on viewscreen*
Triad: Tenzil! It's been awhile!
Tenzil: Jumping fishhooks! Triad! It's great to see you girl!
Panel 4
Triad: How are you doing?
Tenzil: Oh, not bad at all! I got this whole Senator gig going on now... keeps me pretty busy, what with the assassination attempts and kidnappings by would-be intergalactic tyrants and stuff!
Panel 5
Triad: Sounds exciting! Well, I'm clearing you for a landing... hopefully I'll see you in the Legion Clubhouse later on!
Tenzil: You can count on it babe!
Panel 6
*shows ship docking on Legion World*
[ July 10, 2004, 12:02 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 14
Panel 1
*Tenz, Taryn, etc. stepping off ship*
off-panel voice: Tenzil!
Panel 2
Tenzil *elated*: Chuckles!!
Panel 3
*Tenz & Chuck doing a jumping stomach-bump*
Tenzil & Chuck: Dude, wassup!
Panel 4
Taryn, who is holding Plant Lad *to Tiffany*: These people really seem to like Tenzil!
Panel 5
Tiffany: Why wouldn't they? He's just about perfect in every way. A shame you never staked your claim on him... you two would have been a cute couple. Too late for all that now.
Panel 6
*Taryn fuming*
Plant Lad: Do NOT throw me at her.
Panel 7
Chuck: Remember that time we saved the HQ from those little dudes that looked like mucous?
Tenzil: That was rad! So, Chuckles... tell me Dr. Gym'll is still on the payroll.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 15
Panel 1
Chuck: Haven't you heard? Gym'll's a father now!
Tenzil: Wowza! How's ol' grumpypuss taking that?
Chuck: Actually, he's significantly less grumpy these days. Having a kid does that to you, apparently!
Panel 2
Tenzil: Flying tuna! Hear that, Taryn? There's hope for you yet!
Panel 3
*Taryn fuming*
Plant Lad: Please, do NOT throw me at him.
Panel 4
*walking down the corridor to Gym'll's office*
Chuck: ...so the nannites were so dirty, that they consumed themselves!
Tenzil: Sounds like quite the adventure!
Panel 5
Chuck: Well, here's Gym'll's office. See you in the Legion Clubhouse later?
Tenzil: Totally, dude!
Panel 6
*opens door to Gym'll's office*
Gym'll: Tenzil Kem! I heard you were coming to see me! What a delight!
Tenzil: Great to see you, too, Dr. Gym'll! I brought a little present for you! One of those classic cultural rarities that you love so much!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 16
Panel 1
Gym'll: NIGHT NURSE! I've never owned an issue of this one... truly a rarity! thank you so much!
Panel 2
Tenzil: You're welcome. And now that I've buttered you up...
Gym'll: Yes...?
Panel 3
Tenzil: You got an extra cellular trim ray lying around somehwere?
Tiffany: Wow... this place almost out-fabs Daddy's planet! So Tenzil was once a Legionnaire, eh?
Taryn: A Legionnaire employee. There's a difference.
Panel 5
Tiffany: Still... good contacts he's made there, huh?
Taryn: Apparently so.
Panel 6
Tiffany: Why don't YOU try out for the Legion, Taryn?
Posted by . on :
PAGE 17
Panel 1
Taryn: Well, Bismollgov actually drafted me to join back in the early days of the Legion...
Tiffany: What happened?
Panel 2
Taryn: About that time this parakat that my dad gave an extra ass started organizing an uprising among the pet population on Bismoll. A few well-placed government types blamed my dad for it, and soon, my Legion membership was toast...
Tiffany: Oh!
Panel 3
Taryn (*looking sad, and like she's hiding something*): Then I thought about trying out once they had open membership drives, but, well... I didn't.
Panel 4
Tiffany: Well, poo! I'm glad you didn't become a Legionnaire! Because now we can have fun together! I wonder if there's anywhere nice to shop on this planet? I haven't bought new shoes in a week!
Panel 5
Tiffany: Hey, there's someone I know! Dirk! Dirk Morgna!
Dirk: Tiffany Spiffany! Long time no see, beautiful! What brings you to Legion World?
Panel 6
Tiffany: Lester, actually.
Dirk: Les? How's he doing? The Metro club scene just hasn't been as happening without him around!
Posted by + on :
PAGE 18
Panel 1
Tiffany: Ummm... he's... not feeling too good.
Dirk: I'm sorry to hear that.
Panel 2
Tiffany: Hopefully, he'll be feeling better very soon! So, you're a Legionnaire now?
Dirk: Oh, NO-- but check THIS nass out!
Panel 3
*Dirk glows like the sun*
Tiffany: Wow!
Panel 4
*Dirk back to normal*
Dirk: I'm honing my powers here. Not a cadet, I didn't have to become one since I was already friends with the Legion. They think I might be able to harness heat as well as light energies!
Tiffany: That's SO starriffic!
Panel 5
*Dirk leans in to Tiffany*
Dirk: Yeah, I am. So... you up for a little Lav-action?
Panel 6
Tiffany: Huh?
Dirk: Lav-action... you and me in the bathroom.
Panel 7
Tiffany: DIRK!
Dirk: It HAS a lock!
Tiffany: You dated my brother!
Panel 8
Dirk: Yeah, for about 15 minutes... spent in the lav.
Tiffany: You-- you PERV!
Panel 9
*turns to Taryn*
Dirk: Whatever. Who's your cute friend?
[ July 12, 2004, 09:04 PM: Message edited by: + ]
Posted by . on :
PAGE 19
Panel 1
Taryn: Taryn. And I'm more than you can handle.
Dirk: Oh, I can handle quite a bit! I didn't date your brother or anything, did I?
Panel 2
Tiffany: Come on, Taryn. Let's get out of here.
Taryn: Just a sec.
Dirk: Yeah, what's the rush? Taryn and I were just getting acquainted.
Panel 3
Taryn: Listen, hot stuff, you may think that all you have to do is flash a little cash or brag about your Legion connections and every girl around is just going to swoon over you, but that's just not true. It's going to take a lot more than that to impress any girl who's actually worthwhile. You've just insulted Tiffany here, and you think you can just turn to me and I'll fall right into your arms? What a jerk!
Panel 4
Dirk: So, I take it that's a no on the lav-action?
Panel 5
*Slap!*
Posted by $ on :
PAGE 20
Panel 1
caption: and speaking of lav-action...
*rear veiw of Lester, who has remained on the ship, sitting, head facing down*
Lester: ...stupid... so stupid...
Panel 2
*rear view again as Lester throws the omnicom*
Panel 3
*closeup of Lester's face; a single tear streams from his eye*
Lester: How could I... be so stupid...?
Panel 4
caption: and, on Legion World...
Tiffany: We're going to get into trouble!
Taryn: No we're not. Diplomatic immunity.
Panel 5
Tiffany: But you knocked a WALL down when you punched Dirk through it!
Taryn: They called that Shirley woman to clean it up!
Panel 6
Tiffany: She didn't look too happy about it either.
Panel 7
caption: and, in another part of Legion World...
*Plant Lad, still a potted plant, sits on the ground as folks-- mainly women-- walk by*
Plant Lad: Sweet!
Panel 8
*we see a girl walk by in a short skirt*
Plant Lad: Not bad.
Panel 9
*we see the lower half of who is obviously Kid Quantum walk by*
Plant Lad: HOT DAMN!
[ September 02, 2004, 02:38 PM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by . on :
PAGE 21
Panel 1
*Tenzil's hand picking Plant Lad up*
Tenz: Noyd! I wondered where you'd gotten to!
Panel 2
Tenz: Dr. Gym'll wants to see you.
Panel 3
caption: Soon...
*In Dr. Gym'll's office, the super-fat Noyd is lying on two of Gym'll's couches, placed side by side*
Dr. Gym'll: Well, he's quite obese all right.
Tenz: Can you do anything for him, doc?
Dr. Gym'll: We'll see.
Panel 4
*Dr. Gym'll running some experiments on Plant Lad*
Dr. Gym'll: Hmm... interesting.
Panel 5
Tenz: Well... what's the verdict?
Dr. Gym'll: Have you tried diet and exercise?
Noyd: Yeah, man. But my weight seems to stay constant, no matter what I do!
Panel 6
Dr. Gym'll: We can try a cellular trim ray, but that can be kind of dangerous.
Panel 7
Plant Lad: I'll take the risk, man! Anything to get back to being my nice skinny self!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 22
Panel 1
*Lester on ship, looking depressed*
Lester: *choke!*
off-panel voice: Cheer up, mate!
Panel 2
Lester: Who the-- YOU?!!
Panel 3
Lester: P... PLANT LAD...? But.. you're so skinny!
Plant Lad: Ah, that's right-- you never saw me before Nardo fatassed me!
Panel 4
Lester: Does this mean... Gym'll has a cure?
Plant Lad: Sure as my name's Noyd, man! Let's go, the gang's waiting for you!
Panel 5
Lester: YES!! I can't wait to get this weight off and go hang out with Tenzil on Bismoll for a while!
Panel 6
caption: funny he should mention Bismoll...
*scene is a governmental building, lots of politican types sitting*
Bemil Vek: Then we are agreed!
panel 7
Bemil Vek: Senator Tenzil Kem and his party will NOT be allowed to make planetfall on Bismoll until hostilities with Taltar can be resolved!
*title/credits run along bottom of page*
The Super-Road Trip... of Space! part 1: How Green Was My Legion
NEXT ISSUE: The first year of Matter-Eater Lad ends with Part 2 of the gang's Super-Road Trip! You'll hate yourself if you miss "Here There Be Everywhere A Monster!"
Posted by MLLASH on :
MATTER-EATER LAD # 12
Page 1
*scene is a full-page splash featuring Tenzil, Tiffany, Plant Lad, Opposable Big Toes Boy, Lester, Taryn and Questar floating in airless space, looking scared*
caption: SPACE!! The final frontier! In space, no one can hear you scream! A humanoid can only survive unprotected in space for mere moments!
Is this the final issue of Matter-Eater Lad, you ask, gentle reader? Why else would the writers be killing off the entire cast? And just who is that handsome fetchingly-dressed blonde fellow with the gang, looking like he's about to toss his cookies?
Have I missed an issue? Will it still be available at my local Comics Outlet? I wonder what I should have for dinner? Does this outfit make me look fat?
These questions and many more float through your fanboy skull and we-- the writers of what we affectionately refer to as MEL:TS-- intend to answer every last one of them!
But in order to do so, we must turn back the clock... so turn the page, faithful reader... turn the page and prepare to marvel!!
[ July 13, 2004, 08:57 PM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 2
Panel 1
Caption: 2 days earlier...
*Dr. Gym'll is using the cellular trim ray on Lester*
Lester: What do you mean its not working? You stupid three-armed freak! It worked on Plant Kid!
Panel 2
Gym'll: I... I don't understand it. It's on the same setting I used on Plant Lad, but it's just not having any effect!
Panel 3
Tiffany *leaning down towards Gym'll, her breasts almost in his face*: Oh, doctor! Isn't there anything you can do for my poor brother?
Gym'll: Hmm... you say it was a Kryptionian that this Nardo character used to facilitate his super-obesity experiments?
Panel 4
Tenzil: Yeah, doc. A fella by the name of Dev-Em. Say, what happened to Dev, anyway?
Lester: Do NOT speak that name around me! I never want to have anything to do with that creep again!
Panel 5
Gym'll: You know... it would really help if I could examine him as well.
Lester: That charlatan has abandoned me in my time of misery, no doubt to return to Thrann and prey on other unsuspecting youths who might fall for his soft brown eyes and sweet words, without realizing that they are all lies!
Panel 6
Gym'll: Then... I'm afraid there may be nothing I can do to help you...
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 3
Panel 1
Lester: WHAT!!?? Tenzil said you were smart-- but you're STUPID! You're STUPID!!
Tenzil: LESTER, that's ENOUGH!!
Panel 2
Gym'll: Truly, lad... I am sorry. But even though I can't help you myself, I can certainly refer you to a specialist... after you sign my credit voucher, of course.
Panel 3
Tiffany: Certainly.
Plant Lad: Man, Lester, I'm sorry...
Panel 4
Lester: *sigh* It's not your fault, Boyd...
Plant Lad: Noyd.
Lester: Whatever. But I DO have one question...
Panel 5
Taryn: Yeah?
Panel 6
Lester: Does this outfit make me look fat?
Panel 7
Tenzil, Gym'll, Taryn, Tiffany, Plant Lad: Yes.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 4
Panel 1
Caption: Soon, the gang has convened on board their ship...
*Tenzil and Taryn on in the cockpit, with Tenzil at the controls*
Tenzil: So, Gym'll recommended we see this guy on Zentor...
Taryn: That's close to Bismoll...
Tenzil: Yeah, I thought maybe we could stop by home on the way. You know... see if there's any new bills I need to ingest or anything...
Panel 2
Taryn: Are you feeling bad that you didn't get to hang out with your Legion friends more?
Tenz: Oh, it's okay. I'm sure I'll see them again sometime soon. It's not like the universe is going to be wiped out in some vast reality-altering event or anything!
Panel 3
*Tiffany walks in*
Tiffany: Well, Lester's asleep. At least the sedatives Gym'll gave him are working.
Tenzil: We'll find a cure for him, Tiff.
Panel 4
Tiffany *places her hands on Tenz*: I know you'll do everything you can...
Panel 5
*shot of Tenz (sunglass slightly lowered) and Tiff looking deep into each other's eyes*
Panel 6
Tiff: Tenz! Watch out for that space-freighter!
Panel 7
*close-up of Tenz's hands at the controls*
Panel 8
Tenz: Whew! That was close! Uh... why don't you take the controls for awhile, Tar?
Taryn: After that... sure. What are you going to do?
Panel 9
Tenz: I'm going to go try to figure out what we should have for dinner. My chefly urges are welling up!
[ July 14, 2004, 09:10 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 5
Panel 1
*Drura talks on vidphone*
Drura: Mrs. Kem! Sweety-darling!
Ma Kem: *choke!*
Panel 2
Drura: Are you crying, Ma? Suffering Sickness! What's wrong? If that HUSBAND of yours did something...!
Panel 3
Ma: *sob!* No, it's not that at all... he's been a perfect angel since we got back from Tartarus... as far as the two of us goes, I've never.. *choke!* ...been happier. *wail!!*
Panel 4
Drura: Then what in the name of Milady Malady is making you so sad?
Panel 5
Ma: My BOYS, Drura... Renkil never returned home from Tartarus and Tenzil was KIDNAPPED several days ago according to Littleburg Action News. He has since been found, and is fine... but has he thought ONCE to call home? *sob!!*
Panel 6
Drura: *incredulous*: Wha..? But, Ma... Tenzil moved here to Tartarus WEEKS ago... shortly after Kem Family & Friends was cancelled. We're... I mean... well, we're engaged to be married. He said you knew. He said you were thrilled.
Panel 7
Ma: That's... that's impossible! I've seen him on the NEWS... apparently he's seeing his friend Nancy's sister, Tiffany. That rich Spiffany daughter.
Panel 8
Ma: *sob!* Oh, What has happened to my boys, Drura?
Drura: I don't know, Ma... but I promise you I will find out!
Panel 9
off-panel voice from behind: Drura...?
*closeup of Drura, looks frightened*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 6
Panel 1
*In the ship's kitchen*
Tenzil: So, if you heat the steel shavings oh so slightly before you add the bits of concrete, they'll be much more flavorful in the end!
Tiffany: Wow, Tenzil, you sure know a lot about this!
Panel 2
*Noyd walks in*
Noyd: Wow! I'm famished! All that super-weight gain and loss takes a lot out of a guy!
Tenzil: What would you like? Big Toes just finished off the last of the pluberry pie.
Panel 3
*Noyd opens the space-fridge*
Noyd: Actually, I'll just have some nice nutrient pills and water, and then I think I'll go sun myself in the lounge!
Tenzil: Oh, it's easy to forget that you're almost more plant than human now!
Panel 4
*Noyd walks out*
Tenz: Do you miss your home, Tiff?
Tiff: Well, kind of, but I'm also kind of happy to out exploring and meeting new people. It's been the most excitment I've ever had.
Panel 5
Tenz: So, why did you come looking for Lester, anyway?
Tiff: Well, I guess I can tell you. I found out our dad has a child neither of us knew about.
Panel 6
Tenz: *gasp*! A secret spawn of the Spiffany clan?
Tiff: It was kind of shocking news. I was kind of worried about asking my father, so I decided to find out if Lester knew anything about the matter.
Panel 7
Tenz: And did he?
Tiff: I don't know. Sometimes it's hard to get him to really focus on anything other than himself.
Panel 8
Tenz: Sometimes?
Tiff: Well, pretty much all the time.
Panel 9
Tiff: Anyway, I sure didn't find out anything from him.
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 7
Panel 1
Tenzil: Well, maybe we should both go talk to him about it?
Tiffany: Oh my, no. I think that would be a very bad idea.
Panel 2
Tenzil: Yeah... you're probably right... still, I feel like I should go speak to him. He was so happy to see me back on the Stalag... and that was totally bogus how that Dev-Em dude ditched him!
Panel 3
caption: But Lester isn't as alone as Tenzil might think...
Lester: Why are you here? It's not like you ever gave a verm's ass about me.
Taryn: Now Lester, that isn't true. I've just been very used to pretty much having Tenzil to myself all these years. I realize now, I have to learn to share him.
Panel 4
Lester: SHARE him? It's not like he wants ME...!
Taryn: Lester, Tenzil cares about you very much.
Panel 5
Lester: Yeah... but not as much as I care for HIM...
Taryn: As much but in a different way.
Panel 6
Lester: I don't want to talk about it, Taryn.
Taryn: Look, Lester... I just wanted to tell you, I sympathize AND empathize... I know what it's like to have your body altered against your will. And I wanted to say, well, keep your chin up.
Panel 7
Lester: *looking a bit taken aback* W... well... thanks, Taryn.
Panel 8
Taryn: *exiting* You're welcome.
Panel 9
Lester: *sigh!*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 8
Panel 1
caption: Back in the kitchen...
*A light starts flashing*
Tenz: Hmm... something in the cockpit needs attention! We'll have to go talk to Lester later!
Panel 2
*Walking through the hallway, Tenz and Tiff encounter Taryn*
Taryn: Any idea why the cockpit alarm is going off? I left the ship on autopilot, and set it to go ahead and begin the process of clearing us for landing back home.
Panel 3
*the three enter the cockpit*
Tenz: We'll see in a sec!
Panel 4
Tenz: Hmm... that's funny. Our clearance to land on Bismoll has been denied. You must have mis-entered our info, Tar!
Taryn: Hmph! Silly automated clearance systems!
Panel 5
Tenz: That's odd. I'm getting clearance denied as well. I wonder what's up?
Taryn: *Gasp!* What if something's wrong back home? An invasion by the Vakka-Yar, or Arbro, or... or... Taltar...
Panel 6
Tenz: Don't be silly, Taryn! We shouldn't have anything to worry about with Taltar since you met with Thora and cleared things up!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 9
Panel 1
Taryn: Oh, Tenz... I... I never met with Thora before I followed you guys to Thrann. I'm sorry.
Tenzil: What...!!?
Panel 2
*com breeps*
com: Attention! This is Bismollgov Senior Senate Speaker Bemil Vek for Senator Tenzil Kem!
Tenzil: Senator Kem here. What in the worlds is going on?
Panel 3
Bemil Vek: You and your party are denied access to Bismoll until hostilities with Taltar... caused by YOU, I might add... are resolved.
Tenzil: What...!!?
Panel 4
Bemil Vek: If Thora knows you -- and the Loy woman-- are on-planet, we might very well have a full-scale invasion from the Taltaran Amazons. My suggestion is that you contact Ambassador Thora ASAP. Perhaps your silver tongue can get you out of this as it has so much else! Vek out!!
Panel 5
Tenzil: *to Taryn* Well, here's another fine mess you've gotten us into! Just kidding, babe. So we'll do a little schedule reschedule, no big whoop. Tell you what-- go ahead and contact Thora and see if you can pull that bug out of her ass, and I'll go let Lester and Tiffany know we'll be heading on to see that specialist now.
Panel 6
Taryn: You're... not mad at me?
Tenzil: Mad? Taryn, I love you, babe. Jeebus, I owe you my senatorship, my joy, my LIFE. "Mad". Silly!
Panel 7
*Taryn smiling as Tenzil exis*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 10
Panel 1
caption: There are certain disadvantages to knowing someone all your life...
*Taryn's smile suddenly turns to a frown*
Taryn thoughts: Tenzil Kem, you are such a great guy...
Panel 2
caption: Like the fact that you know too well when they're lying to spare your feelings...
Taryn thoughts: But I know that move. You say everything's fine and you walk out...
Panel 3
caption: And the fact that their feeling they need to lie hurts so much...
Taryn's thoughts: I know how disappointed you must be in me.
Panel 4
caption: No one knows Tenzil Kem better than Taryn Loy...
Taryn's thoughts: For the first time I've really let you down, haven't I?
Panel 5
caption: And there's no one who's disapproval could hurt Taryn as much...
*Taryn turns on vidscreen*
Taryn's thoughts: But I'm going to make this better. I have to.
Panel 6
Taryn (into vidscreen): I want to speak to Thora.
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 11
Panel 1
Thora *on vidscreen*: Aah. At long last Loy!
Taryn: I... apologize for missing our earlier meeting, Thora.
Panel 2
Thora: That was indeed a cause for irritation, but I felt better after having Evillo flogged unmercifully.
Taryn: So can we cut to the chase? What is it you want from me?
Panel 3
caption: Later, after jumping ahead so that the reader doesn't hear Thora's demands...
Thora: ...and that is what I ask for Bismoll to avoid full-scale war with Taltar!
Panel 4
Taryn: Okay. I'm en route to assist a friend of mine first, but right after that you will have what you want. But I warn you... Daddy isn't exactly stable.
Thora: I know! Thora out-- for NOW.
Panel 5
caption: Later stll...
Tenzil: Approaching Zentor, everybody!
Lester: FINALLY.
Panel 6
Tiffany: It will well be worth it if this specialist can help you, Lester.
Lester: I suppose.
Panel 7
Tenzil: We're being contacted by some dude named Glad-Hander! Must be Zentor's official greeter...
Lester: What's the deal with that long blonde hair extension hanging from his stupid-looking hat?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 12
Panel 1
Glad Hander: Greetings! Am Glad Hander! Welcome famous Holo-star Tenzil Kem am certainly on Zentor!
Tenz: Huh? Oh... Yeah, it's always great to meet the fans!
Panel 2
Tenz: So we're here to see Dr. Loge Yeilek. My good buddy Dr. Gym'll should've hooked us up with an appointment with him.
Panel 3
Glad Hander: Hmm... so funny talk you not on holo-show! But ID yours check out! Land may you!
Panel 4
Tenzil: Okay. Something tells me this is going to be an experience. Everyone get in place for landing. Uh, Big Toes, you probably should climb down from there and take a seat. Oh, and Taryn, try not to start an interstellar war with Zentor, okay?
Panel 5
Taryn: You know... for my next act, I was planning on punching a certain Bismollian politican...
Panel 6
*Shows craft landing on Zentor*
[ July 18, 2004, 04:54 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by Petey C. on :
Issue 100. The flatulent issue.
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 13
Panel 1
*shows giant fist smashing ship to smithereens as it lands*
Panel 2
*shows a re-take of the opening splash page, with Questar, Tenz, Taryn, Tiff, Lester, Noyd & Big Toes floating in space, all looking panicked*
Panel 3
*everyone is back on the planet, a bit freaked out*
Questar: Gosh!! I'm so sorry, you guys-- I had to act fast so I didn't have time to fine-tune my teleport--- is everyone okay?
Panel 4
Tenzil: What in the...
Lester: ...NASS...
Plant Lad: ...just happened?
Panel 5
Questar: *pointing up* THAT!
Panel 6
*shot of the Every 10 Years Monster*
e10ym: RRRRRARRRRRRRGH!!!!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 14
Panel 1
Lester thoughts (looking at Questar): Who is that handsome fetchingly-dressed blonde fellow?
Panel 2
*Taryn pushes Lester out of the way just as the e10ym's foot stomps down where he was*
Taryn: Look out, Lester!
Panel 3
Tenz: Uh... thanks, but couldn't you teleport us a bit further away?
Questar: No can do, bro! I've got to stop this monster before it does any more damage!
Panel 4
*As Questar flies up to do battle with the e10ym, Tenz notices the holo-cameras following him around*
Tenzil's thoughts: Gosh, this is just like when I had my own holo-show!
Panel 5
*Questar blasts the e10ym monster in the face*
e10ym: AAAARRGGHHHH!
Panel 6
*e10ym smacks Questar, sending him flying*
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 15
Panel 1
Tenzil: Suffering Sasquatch! I bet Blondie's gonna feel THAT in the morning...!
Panel 2
*e10ym grabs Tffany*
Tiffany: ShriEEEEEEEEEEK!
Panel 3
Plant Lad: That ain't no way to treat a lady!
*morphs into some super-tentacled plant of space*
Panel 4
*Plant Lad attempt to entrap in his vines the e10ym, which still holds Tiffany in one hand*
Panel 5
*Big Toes climbs up the monster's back*
Panel 6
*Taryn pummels he e10ym's foot*
Panel 7
Tenzil: I'm sorry, but you're in the way, Lester... come on...
Lester: I'm moving as fast as I sprocking CAN...!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 16
Panel 1
*e10ym kicks Taryn away while he tries to reach Big Toes with his free hand*
e10ym: RRRAARRGGHHH!
Panel 2
*Unable to reach Big Toes, e10ym switches Tiffany to the other hand while he pulls back out of Plant Lad's tentacles
Panel 3
*e10ym tries with other hand to reach Big Toes but fails*
Panel 4
*e10ym drops Tiffany*
Tiff: EEEKKK!
Panel 5
*As e10ym struggles with both hands to reach Big Toes, who's in the part of the back that he just can't get to, Plant Lad catches Tiff in his tentacles*
Panel 6
*e10ym starts swirling around trying to reach Big Toes/get him off his back*
Panel 7
*Tenz has finally made it around Lester and near the scene of the fight*
Tenz thoughts: Hmm... that big dude seems awfully eager to get Big Toes off his back! Could that be a hidden weak spot or something?
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 17
Panel 1
Tenzil: Taryn!! Use those super-legs of yours and jump up there where Big Toes is! Give that thing your Bismollian Knuckle Sandwich!
Panel 2
*Taryn crouches, preparing to leap*
Panel 3
*Taryn, leaping, punches the e10ym in the back while Opposable Big Toes Boy delivers a kick/punch to the small of its back*
Questar: Golly! Good work, guys! Now I can get rid of the beast. I won't have to worry about it for another 10 years!
Panel 6
*Questar teleports the monster away*
Tenzil: 10 years...?
Questar: Yeah. That's the Every 10 Years Monster. He's pretty predictable.
Panel 7
Tiffany: I hope you teleported that horrid thing into space!!
Questar: Madam!! Heroes DO NOT kill.
Panel 8
Questar: And I-- QUESTAR, hero of Zentor-- have my fans to think of!
Panel 9
Questar: Hurry now, we've got to get a move on. We've only a couple of hours.
Taryn: Before...?
Questar: Before the Every 6 Hours Monster strikes!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 18
Panel 1
Tenzil: Every 6 Hours Monster?
Questar: Yes! It will emerge from its cave on the other side of town in exactly two hours, thirteen minutes, and twenty-three seconds!
Panel 2
Questar: I must be ready for it when it does! Where do you good citizens need to go?
Panel 3
Tenzil: Well, we've got an appointment to see Dr. Loge Yeilek. He's the U.P.'s leading expert in super-charged obesity, which my friend Lester here suffers from! But our appointment's not until tomorrow!
Panel 4
Quester: In that case, we'll get you checked the hotel here quickly, where the non-metas can remain while the rest of you help me with the Every 6 Hours Monster!
Panel 5
Noyd: Um... we didn't exactly sign up for this...
Questar: But you're heroes! I'm certain you can't pass at a chance to help out! Besides, I'm certain my network will pay handsomely for a guest appearance by Tenzil Kem!
Panel 6
Tenzil: Well, we don't really need the money, but we're glad to help out. Okay, Lester and Tiffany can get settled in the hotel, and the rest of us will go see what we can do about this "Every 6 Hours Monster".
Panel 7
caption: Soon...
Tiffany: Before you go Noyd, I just wanted to say thanks for saving me back there! You're a darling!
Noyd (blushing): Why... of course!
Noyd's thoughts: Wow! She's really cute!
Panel 8
Tiffany (kissing Tenzil on cheek, as Noyd looks on heartbroken): Oh, Tenzil! Be careful!
Panel 9
Questar (to Taryn): The way you handled the Every 10 Years Monster was quite impressive!
Taryn: Gee... thanks!
Taryn's thoughts: Is he flirting with me?
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 19
Panel 1
Taryn thought caption: Maybe I should flirt back?
Taryn: So, ummm... what's the deal with these monsters?
Panel 2
Questar: Many fookrons ago, the monsters were the dominant species of Zentor. The humanoid populace was little more than their space-brunch. But in recent fookrons, some sort of monster-killing cataclysm befell them, and nowadays only a relative few are left. Fortunately, they're very set in their ways and as long as the populace keeps their schedules straight, there's very little death when they attack. Gee! You sure are pretty!
Panel 3
Taryn: Oh.... thanks.
Taryn thought caption: What a dork!
Panel 4
*Questar has teleported them all*
Questar: Here we are at the hotel! Now, be advised, this is in the territory of the Every 2 Days Monster, but it isnt due until tomorrow, so don't worry!
Panel 5
Lester: This planet is STUPID!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 20
Panel 1
caption: Soon...
Questar: Okay, so we'll await the Every 6 Hours Monster here! We'll have to defeat him quickly, as the Every 93 Days Monster is scheduled to appear in an hour. Fortunately, that'll give us a brief respite before the Every 6 Hours Monster emerges again!
Panel 2
Questar: Fortunately, he's not nearly as nasty as the Every 10 Years Monster, or the Every Month Monster, who'll be making an appearance tomorrow. I defeated him in about 20 minutes this morning.
Panel 2
Tenzil: Couldn't you find a way to stop the monsters from attacking at all? Like maybe seal up their caves or something?
Questar: We've tried! That only slows them down! And if we start getting them off-schedule, then who knows what chaos will ensue!
Panel 3
Tenzil: Okay. Say, what's up with all these cameras following us around?
Questar: Oh, well, when I first came to this planet a fookron ago to help them with their monster crisis, it of course was a big deal on the Planetary News. So that started filming my battles with the monsters. Recently, we've expanded to an entire holo-network devoted to my exploits, and broadcast on three planets!
Panel 4
Noyd: So are you saying that basically you've devoted yourself to protecting the planet from these monsters? Don't the Zentorians help you?
Panel 5
Questar: No. But what could they do? After all, they are small and frail, and not heroic like I am!
Taryn thoughts: Yeah... definitely a dork!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 21
Panel 1
Lester: Well, let's check in, Sis. I guess looking as I now do, I'm not only a hideous nusiance but worthless to the others as well.
Tiffany: Oh, please. I wasn't much aid against that creature either, you know.
Panel 2
*they appraoch the front desk*
Clerk: Oh my! Are you wanting a room here?
Lester: No, we're girdle-shopping. Stupid!
Panel 3
Clerk: But... sir, we don't sell girdles here.
Lester: Tiffany dear, will you please handle this before I burst a blood vessel?
Panel 4
Tiffany: We'd like a room for the night, please.
Clerk: I'm afraid we can't help you.
Panel 5
Tiffany: Oh, don't be silly. We're zillionaires!
Clerk: Money isn't the issue. He's too fat to fit in the rooms.
Panel 6
*Lester, looking enraged*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 22
*Three small panels along the top of the page and one big panel taking up the rest of the page*
Panel 1
*Shows Questar hiding behind some rocks or something*
Questar: Only moments to go!
Panel 2
*Shot pulls back to where other members of the gang can be seen in nearby hiding places*
Questar: Everyone get ready!
Panel 3
*A large rumbling noise can be heard as the monster emerges from the cave*
Questar: Here he comes!
Panel 4
*e6Hm emerges, but is still in the shadows, and a much smaller figure can be seen alongside him *
Questar (a look of surprise on his face): There he is, but who's that with him?
*title/credits run along bottom of page*
The Super-Road Trip... of Space! part 2: Here There Be Everywhere a Monster!
NEXT ISSUE: The gang faces their greatest challenge yet, as they enter: "The Great Chilli Cookoff... of Space!", Part 3 of the Super-Road Trip!
[ July 19, 2004, 06:22 AM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
MATTER-EATER LAD #13
PAGE ONE
Panel 1
caption: When last we left our heroes...
Questar: The Every 6 Hours Monster has emerged from its cave, but who's that with him?
Panel 2
*The Monster steps into the light*
e6hm: RRRRRAAAAAARRRRRGGHHHHH!
Tenzil: Let's go team!
Panel 3 and 4
*Big Toes turns a flip, hurtling a small boulder at the monster from his feet*
Panel 5
*Questar blasts e6hm in the face*
Questar: We've got to knock him to the ground for my teleporting powers to work on him!
e6hm: RRRROOOOWWWWRRR!
Panel 6
*e6hm smacks Questar, sending him flying*
Tenzil: Jeebus! Does he do that in every battle?
[ July 22, 2004, 05:15 AM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 2
Panel 1
Plant Lad: Sprock this!
*morphs into plant*
Panel 2
*Entwines himself around e6hm's feet*
Plant Lad: You're going DOWN, Charlie!
Panel 3
*and the monster DOES go down, face-first*
Panel 4
*Taryn punches the monster's face*
Taryn: This should keep you from getting any bright ideas!
Panel 5
Tenzil: Rad! Now all we have to do is keep ol' Monsty out until 'Star flies back and teleports him away!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 3
Panel 1
*Shot of the gang waiting by the unconcious monster*
Panel 2
*Another shot of the gang waiting, beginning to grow noticebly impatient*
Panel 3
*Another shot of the gang waiting, very impatient*
Panel 4
*Questar returns*
Questar: Good job, team! Now I'll teleport him back to his underground cavern, from whence he won't emerge for another five hours, 30 minutes, and 4 seconds!
Panel 5
*Questar teleports the monster away*
Tenzil: Say, you saw that small figure in the shadows when the monster emerged, didn't you?
Questar: Yes! It was curious! Very curious indeed! Oh well, we best go rest up for the next appearance by the monster!
Panel 6
Taryn: But shouldn't we maybe investigate further? I'm curious about what that was in the shadows as well.
Questar: Investigate? Well, pretty girl, if you think that's a good idea...
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 4
Panel 1
*the gang scours the area*
Panel 2
Tenzil: This is a wash, you guys... maybe we had better go rest up, like Questar said.
Panel 3
Taryn: *noticing something* Not so fast there, Senator...
Panel 4
Taryn: Questar, does this look like anything important to you?
*handing him the small object*
Panel 5
*Questar holding up the object-- it is a space-syringe labelled "Every 6 Hours Monster Stimulant"
Questar: Golly! What could it be?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 6
Panel 1
Taryn: It's obviously a clue of some sort, but let's go back and check on Lester and Tiffany for now...
Panel 2
caption: Meanwhile, Lester and Tiffany have found some accomodations...
Lester: I am not sleeping in a stupid barn! No matter what that stupid hotel manager says!
Tiffany: Lester, it'll be okay. It might even be fun... I wonder what kind of animal this is...
Panel 3
Lester: Bah! We'll probably catch space-rabies from it!
Panel 4
*Tenz and the others walk in*
Tenzil: So, this is where you're hiding! We've looked all over for you!
Lester: stupid barn... stupid planet...
Panel 5
Questar: Well, friends, we best get back to prepare for our next battle with the Every 6 Hours Monster!
Panel 6
caption: Soon, the designated time for the Every 6 Hours Monster to re-appear arrives!
Questar: Hmm... I don't understand! It should have emerged 20 seconds ago!
Noyd: Maybe we just whopped it a little too hard last time!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 7
Panel 1
Tenzil: Look! Who's that little dude running from the cave? Stop him, Big Toes!
Panel 2
*Big Toes somersaults through the air*
Panel 3
*Big Toes lands atop the running figure*
Panel 4
*Big Toes holds him up for everyone to see*
Panel 5
Questar & Tenzil: Glad Hander!!
Glad Hander: Oh Uh. Trouble I am in?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 8
Panel 1
Questar: What are you doing here, good citizen! Don't you know this is the territory of the Every 6 Hours Monster! It's very dangerous!
Glad Hander: Oh! I not know that! Well very, running I'll be along!
Panel 2
Taryn: Wait a sec... what's that sticking out of his pouch there?
Panel 3
*Tenzil opens the pouch and pulls out a syringe like the one they found before*
Tenzil: Hmm... how do you explain this?
Glad Hander: Over game is, guess I! Newest batch of monster stimulant not working anyway. Spell end of big holo-show if no monster!
Panel 4
Tenzil: Huh?
Taryn: Are you saying that you've been artifically stimulating the monster so that it comes out to attack every six hours?
Panel 5
Glad Hander: Bring great hero to Zentor to fight monster! Make holo-show big!
Tenzil: 'Star, did you know anything about this?
Questar (perplexed): I don't understand. I've been helping these people. I'm their hero. They've been very grateful.
Panel 6
Noyd: Grateful for the profits you've been raking in, man! To them you're just a money-making tool!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 9
Panel 1
Questar: *gasp!* Glad Hander!! Is what he's saying true?
Panel 2
Glad Hander: Lie to you will not I any longer. Love you the Zentorians indeed do, but monster attacks staged indeed are.
Panel 3
*Questar's face cracks, looks brokenhearted*
Panel 4
*turns away from Glad Hander*
Questar: Well then, Glad Hander... I bid you good day!!
Panel 5
*Questar collapses into Taryn*
Questar: Oh, TARYN...! *sob! choke!*
Taryn: What are you...!!?
Panel 6
Tenzil: HUG him, Taryn!
*Taryn looks pissed*
Panel 7
Taryn: Fine.
*Taryn hugging Questar, but rolling eyes*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 10
Panel 1
caption: The next day...
*Tenz is at the reception desk at the doctor's office*
Tenz: We're here to see Dr. Yeilek. My friend Lester Spiffany here should have an appointment!
Recptionist: Yes, go on in.
Panel 2
*Depicts Loge Yeilek examining Lester, Loge is a little dude, ala Glad Hander*
Loge: Yes, yes. Very fat indeed!
Panel 3
Tenz: Can you do anything for him, doc?
Loge: Maybe. Super-charged Kryptonian fattening is difficult business. The radiations of Zentor's orange sun affect it in unpredictable ways!
Panel 4
*Loge continues examination, while Tenz and Taryn chat*
Tenz: Strange. He doesn't talk nearly as funny as that Glad Hander fellow does.
Taryn: All I know, is that the sooner we get off this crazy planet, the happier I'm going to be.
Panel 5
Tenz: Oh? But you've picked up your own little admirer!
Taryn: Please do NOT mention him. This is the first hour I've had away from that dork since he discovered the truth about the monsters. If I hadn't convinced him that he better keep a look out in case the Every Month Monster shows up, he'd be here salivating over me now.
Panel 6
*Loge walks over to Tenzil and Taryn, Tiffany is listening in the background*
Loge: Nope. Nothing I can do for him.
Panel 7
*Tiffany leans into the doctor, her breasts down near his face*
Tiffany (sobbing): But, doctor! You simply MUST be able to help him! He's my darling brother! But... look at him!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 11
Panel 1
Tiffany: I mean... being this size certainly can't be good for his health, can it?
Dr. Loge: Certainly not. Very bad for his overall health. Heart straining, lungs straining, bowels straining.
Panel 2
Tenzil: Eeeeew!
Tiffany: OH! My poor brother!
Panel 3
Dr. Loge: Chin up, off-worlders! Big hope for cure lies in alternative medicine practice of my colleague on Hippie Planet!
Tenzil: "Hippie Planet"? Sounds groovy.
Panel 4
Dr. Loge: Will set you up an appointment. Some not believe in helpfulness of mist-huffing, but Avatandan Doctor has helped many.
Panel 5
Tenzil: Well, we certainly appreciate the referral... but our ship was destroyed by the Every 10 Years Monster and I'm afraid Lester is going to have trouble fitting through a Threshold.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 12
Panel 1
Loge: Don't worry! Space-Transit to Hippie World leave in 1 hour!
Tiffany: Space-Transit? Wow! I've never ridden anything like that before!
Panel 2
caption: Soon...
Tenzil: Well, I thought it was nice of them to only charge Lester for three seats!
Panel 3
Quester: Hold up, my friends! I'm coming with you!
Taryn: Oh, grife...
Panel 4
Random Kid: Mommy! Look at the big fat man! He's scary!
Lester: Stupid kid!
Panel 5
*Onboard the ship*
Tenzil: Hope you're comfortable, Les! It's a six day flight to Avatanda!
Panel 6
*Shows Lester in obvioius discomfort, and kid throwing paper wads or something at him*
Lester: This ship is STUPID! SLOW and STUPID!
Panel 7
Questar: My friends, I can get us there faster if you like!
Panel 8
Tenzil: Thanks, but I don't know if that's such a good...
Panel 9
*Flash of light of the gang being teleported away by Questar*
[ July 22, 2004, 10:24 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 13
Panel 1
caption: We interrupt this story for the progression of the following subplot...
off-panel voice: Drura...?
Drura: Who...? Oh! It's you...
Panel 2
Drura, off-panel: ...Policy Pam.
Pam: Yep. It looks like we've got a mission. Some of Evillo's former Devil's Dozen are robbing the Last Bank of Tartarus! The gang's all waiting for you!
Panel 3
Drura: Is... is Tenzil there?
Pam: Well, of course!
Panel 4
Drura: I'll be right down.
Drura thought caption: I'll have to be very, very careful... slicker than mucous, if I don't want to arouse his suspicion.
Panel 5
caption: Subplot break over; Back to the Main Event...
*panel shows Questar, Tenz, Taryn, Tiff, Big Toes, Lester & Noyd appearing in the middle of what looks very much like a 20th-century rodeo*
Tenzil: WHat the GRIFE...!!?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 14
Panel 1
*Rider is startled by the gang's appearance and is thrown from horselike creature*
Rider: Yiiiiieeeee!
Panel 2
*Horselike creature charges Taryn and Tiffany, who scatter*
Panel 3
*Big Toes leaps on horselike creature*
Panel 4
*Try as it might, the horselike creature cannot throw Big Toes*
Panel 5
*Horselike creature continues to try and throw Big Toes*
Panel 6
*Finally, the horselike creature gives up*
Panel 7
*Rodeo Official approaches*
Rodeo Official: I reckon that's about the best dang bronco ridin' I ever did see! Tain't no one ever rid Ol' Red before!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 15
Panel 1
*the rider thrown before approaches, angry*
Rider: You strangers done messed up my ride! I would broke Ol' Red this time. I woulda!
Rodeo Official: Gol durn, Jo-Don, what makes you think this time woulda been diff'rent from the previous 115?
Panel 2
Lester: Wow-- you must really be BAD at this, Jo-Don!
Tenzil: Lester, now may not be the best time to rile the natives!
Panel 3
*Jo-Don, looking angry, pulls a glove out of pocket*
Panel 4
*Jo-Don stands in front of Tenzil*
Panel 5
*Jo-Don smacks Tenzil with the glove*
Tenzil: Yooowwwwch!
Panel 6
Jo-Don: You offend me, sir! I challenge you to a duel!
Panel 7
Tenzil: ME!!? Lester's the one with the big mouth!
Panel 8
Lester: Hey! Is that a fat joke?
Jo-Don: *to Tenz* Everything about you reeks as the leader of this band of strangers, stranger.
Panel 9
Jo-Don: Will you duel, or are you a coward?
Tenzil: *sigh!*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 16
Panel 1
Tenzil: Look, we don't want any trouble. If you could just please point the way to the Chief Monastery, we'd appreciate it...
Jo-Don: Monastery?
Panel 2
Taryn: Tenz, I don't think we're actually on Avatanda.
Jo-Don: Avatanda? Is that where you boys is from? Hear that fellas? We gots ourselve a bunch a got-danged hippies here! And they's so doped up, they don't even realize they're on the wrong planet!
Panel 3
Tenzil: Look... just what planet are we on?
Jo-Don: You's on Sexat now, boys.
Panel 4
Lester: *giggle*
Jo-Don: Somethin' funny, boy?
Panel 5
Lester: I was just, *chuckle*, wondering, "Where's the sex at?"
Another Cowboy: Are you makin' fun of our planet?
Panel 6
*Various cowboys approach the gang menacngly*
Noyd: Hey, man, chill out...
Questar: Look, I am Questar, hero to billions and star of the Questar holo-network...
Panel 7
Jo-Don: Yup, they're a bunch of got-danged, free love hippies...
Tenzil: Look, we'll do whatever you say. We really aren't looking for trouble.
Panel 8
Jo-Dun: Well, I'm afraid you've already found trouble, metro-slicker! 'Cause you and me's gonna face-off tomorrow at High Noon!
Tiffany: *gasp*!
Panel 9
Jo-Dun: Fellas! Show our "guests" to the bunkhouse, and make sure they don't sneak out in the night or somethin'!
[ July 22, 2004, 10:28 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 17
Panel 1
Jo-Don: You wimminfolk'll be coming back to camp with me and my boys. No way fillies as purdy as ya'll are getting locked up with these weirdo hippie freaks. Not when you got REAL men around.
Panel 2
Tiffany: What's a "fillie"? Is it cute?
Taryn: Enough's enough.
Panel 3
*Taryn lifts Jo-Don into the air by his shirt*
Jo-Don: WHUT the...!
Panel 4
Taryn: We "fillies" shall go along with our friends, Jo-Don. Like Mama always said, "Stand By Your Man". Understood?
Jo-Don: Yes'm!
Panel 5
*sets Jo-Don down*
Taryn: Good.
Panel 6
Jo-Don: Go, on then! Git! Move that ass, big'un!
Lester: Quit SHOVING me, you stupid space-redneck!
Panel 7
Tenzil: And I'M the one who gets frelling slapped with a dueling glove!
Plant Lad: What can I say, Senator-- you da man.
Panel 8
Jo-Don: "Senator!!" Hear that, boys-- not only is Shades a sexually deviant metro-slicker-- he's a POLITICIAN too!
Panel 9
Various cowboys: BOOOO!
Questar: Gee! I've always been rather fond of politicians myself.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 18
Panel 1
caption: Before long...
*Outside the "bunkhouse", several cowboys are erecting a device*
Cowboy: I reckon this force-fence'll keep 'em in!
Panel 2
*inside the bunkhouse*
Taryn (looking out the window): It looks like they're setting up some kind of force-shield to prevent us from escaping.
Noyd: That just ain't cool!
Panel 3
Tiffany: Oh, Tenzil! I'm so worried! You just can't go out and face that Jo-Dun tomorrow! What if he kills you?
Tenzil: Oh, I wouldn't worry to much about it, Tiff. Everything will be okay.
Panel 4
Questar: My friends! My teleportation powers can get us out of this situation easily!
Lester: And wind up in open space again? It was your stupid teleportation powers that got us here in the first place!
Panel 5
Questar: Well, I admit, I'm not always 100%accurate, but...
Taryn: I think we should save Questar's power for... emergency uses. Let's see if anything else occurs to us.
Panel 6
Noyd: Can't you pull that trick like you did in the Super-Stalag, where you eat your way out through the ground?
Questar: My powers allow me to sense that the energies of the force shield extend below us as well.
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 19
Panel 1
Lester: Well, well, well. You seem to have a power for all occasions. Do you have Super-Lameness-Eradicating powers too? If so, you should use them... on yourself.
Panel 2
Questar: But I'm not lame. My legs are sturdy and strong.
Lester: Arrrrrrrrgh!!!
Panel 3
Tiffany: Calm down, brother dear. Your bowels...!
Lester: My bowels are just fine, thanks, Tiffany.
Panel 4
Plant Lad: Why am I even here?
Tenzil: Some of the readers are probably wondering that also, Noyd.
Plant Lad: Huh?
Panel 5
Taryn: Pay him no attention, Noyd. Sometimes he gets weird like this.
Plant Lad: Whatever. I'm skinny again, and I didn't sign on to fight giant monsters and hillbilly space-country-music fans. I'm a ROCKER, man!
Panel 6
*Tiffany leans forward, her breasts brushing upon Noyd's arm*
Tiffany: Oh, Mr. Noyd! Please stay and help Tenzil and my brother! After all... they helped you.
Panel 7
Plant Lad: Well... ummm... it's not like I have anything waiting for me on Simballi. I'm a pariah twice over there.
Panel 8
Tiffany: And here, you're loved!
Plant Lad: Loved? Cool!
Panel 9
Tenzil: Look gang, I'm a little tense... I think I need some peace and quiet to think a bit.
Taryn: We're ALL tense. Maybe we should try to get a little rest.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 20
Panel 1
*Taryn is preparing a bed*
Questar: Uh... Miss Taryn, ma'am? Would you mind if I... uh... if you don't care... uh... slept with you?
Taryn: WHAT!?
Panel 2
Questar: I assure you my intentions are completely honorable! I mean, maybe we could just snuggle and stuff. We're in a pretty dangerous situation, maybe I could... um... protect you?
Panel 3
Taryn: Look, Questar, you're a nice guy... but I think you're... rushing things a bit. Tiffany and I will be bunking together. I think we'll be perfectly okay. Okay?
Panel 4
Questar (disappointed): Well, uh... sure. I'll just be... uh... right over there in the next room if you need anything.
Panel 5
Taryn (laying back in bed): *Sigh!* What next?
Panel 6
*Shows Taryn and Tiff in bed asleep*
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 21
Panel 1
*a loud alarm sounds, startline evryone awake*
Panel 2
*Jo-Don enters*
Jo-Don: High Noon, strangers! It's dueling time! Now GIT UP! Git!
Panel 3
Tenzil: High noon...? It's still dark outside.
Jo-Don: Shut yer metro-slicker MOUTH, politcian! Maybe you senator-type hippies have high noon during the daylight on your dope planet, but here on Sexat, things're diff'rent. Things're as they OUGHT ta be!
Panel 4
Tenzil: SO there's no way to avoid a violent duel, huh?
J-Don: Violence? Are you ig'nert? We're going toe-to-toe... at a chilli-cookoff! YaHOOO!
Panel 5
Tenzil: Chilli coo... you mean you folks duel by cooking chilli?
Jo-Don: What, they do it diff'rent on the hippie planet?
Panel 6
Tenzil: No, no... that's how we do it too. But, ummm... I'm going to require certain ingredients.
Panel 7
Jo-Don: Whelp, there's nothing in the rule books that says yer pals here can't fetch whut you need, but YOU stay here until the duelin's done.
Panel 8
*the gang huddles*
Taryn: Chilli cookoff? You're doomed!
Tenzil: Have a little faith, Taryn!
Panel 9
Questar: What ingredients will you requre, Tenzil?
Tenzil: Well, the first thing I'll need is the print from an enchanted shoe.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 22
*Big Splash Page, parodying the cover of Adventure #352*
caption: Soon...
Tenzil: Okay, gang! To space-stores! Search the planet! Find the Fatal Five herbs and spices... or Grandma Kem's chilli recipe dies!
TITLE AND CREDITS ALONG BOTTOM OF PAGE
*"The Space-Rodeo... of Death!"*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Crap! We skipped Page 5!
Posted by MLLASH on :
WHAT!!!
Okay, I got an idea...
Posted by MLLASH on :
THE REAL PAGE 22
Panel 1
caption: meanwhile, on Tartarus...
*Tenzil (?) is ducking a swing from SwaNiiK*
Stick With A Nail in it Kid: Free Evillo! Free Evillo!
Tenzil (?): Moron!
Panel 2
Sugyn: Give it up, Tess... I don't want to hurt you with this geyser...!
Panel 3
Lotus Fruit Lass: Nor SHALL you, oaf! Not once you taste the power of Lotus Fruit Lass!
Panel 4
Pam: Look out! Sugyn's geyser is going haywire!
*a stray stream has hit Brittle Boy, shattering him*
Panel 5
*a stray stream hits Tenzil (?); sound of electronics shorting out is heard*
Tenzil (?): NoooOOOOooo!!!
Panel 6
Pam, Chet & Spaceopoly Lad: *gasp!!*
Panel 7
Incredible Girl, Sugyn & pieces of Brittle Boy: *gasp!!*
Panel 8
Drura: No... I.. I didn't want to believe it... How... how COULD you...
Panel 9
*"Tenzil" stands revelaed...*
Drura, off-panel:... RENKIL KEM!!!?!?
Posted by MLLASH on :
To be continued? You KNOW it, true-believer!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Oh yeah! I think that was worth it!
Posted by MLLASH on :
MATTER-EATER LAD # 14
Page 1
*full-page splash; featuring Tenzil stirring a cauldron while Taryn, Lester, Tiff, Big Toes, Questar & Plant Lad cheer him on*
Taryn: COOK, Tenzil, cook! Your chili has to taste better than the chili of these space-rednecks, or WE'RE ALL DOOMED!!!
caption: Can you measure a hero in chili powder and cumin, gentle reader? There are those who say you can! And we, the writers of MEL:TS, firmly agree with them and think the rest of you are stupid for disagreeing!
For in this tale of tragedy and triumph, Bismollian Senator Tenzil Kem has found himself engaged in a duel for his honor, and duel for his life... a duel that will come to be known as "The Super-Chili Cookoff... of Space! And DEATH!!"
And just what ingredients are used in Bismollian chili? Good question... turn the page and let's find out together!
(What's that, Eryk? Oh, okay.) Eryk says he doesn't think you are stupid for disagreeing with him. What a brown-noser! Anyhoo, quit reading this & turn the page, stupid!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 2
Panel 1
caption: 15 years earlier...
*The Kem family are in their hovercar*
Young Tenzil: Are we there yet? I can't wait!
Ma Kem (handing Tenz a toy): We'll be there soon enough, Tenz! Here... play with Mr. Jenkies until we get there!
Panel 2
*Young Renkil grabs Mr. Jenkies from Tenzil and bites his head off*
Tenzil: Mommy! Renkil's eating Mr. Jenkies!
Panel 3
Pa Kem: Pipe down back there! You need to learn to share your toys with Renkil, boy, on account of I can't afford to buy toys for the both of ya!
Panel 4
*Tenzil mopes in the back seat as Renkil consumes the rest of Mr. Jenkies*
Panel 5
*The Kem's arrive at their destination, a quaint but friendly looking little house in the country; Tenz is the first out of the car running to meet a sweet elderly lady standing in front of the house*
Tenz: Grandma!
Panel 6
*As the rest of the family gets out of the car, Tenz is hugging Grandma Kem*
Grandma Kem: Tenzil! It's good to see you! Why, you're just in time to help me make my super-secret chilli recipe!
Tenzil: Yay!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 3
Panel 1
*Granny Kem & li'l Tenz in kitchen*
Granny: ...and with just a little tweak of the ingredients, this type of chili can make a humanoid sentient comatose for 6 hours!
Tenzil: WOW, Grandma! You sure do know a lot about chili!
Panel 2
Granny: And now, so do you.
Tenzil: Which kind of chili are we having, Grandma? The coma-chili? The truth-serum chili? Or one of those other kinds?
Panel 3
*Granny rustling his hair*
Granny: You little scamp! We're going to have good old-fashioned Bismollian No-Alarm chili tonight! Those other recipes I only used during my days with the Bismoll Vice. But remember, Tenzil... those recipes are OUR secret. OUR secret...
Panel 4
*panel is nothing but smoke*
caption: ...OUR secret...
Panel 5
*smoke has cleared, revealing Tenzil stirring a cauldron*
Tenzil: Our... secret...
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 4
*Scene pulls back and you can see more of the gang surrounding Tenzil*
Tenzil: Our... secret...
Noyd: You okay, man? You kind of spaced out there for a second!
Panel 2
Tenzil: Sorry, I was just having a clever and heartwarming flashback! Now, as I was saying, I need you guys to recover the five secret ingredients I need for the chili.
Panel 3
Tenzil: I have written each of the ingredients to Grandma Kem's special "fatal" chili on one of these pieces of paper. Now go! To the super-markets of space! Find the fatal five ingredients!
Panel 4
Questar: So... shall we work together on this noble quest, oh beauteous one?
Taryn: *Sigh*, I guess so.
Panel 5
*Shows the gang each going their separate ways (Taryn teamed with Questar; Lester, Tiffany, Noyd, and Big Toes each by themselves)
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 5
Panel 1
caption: LESTER SPIFFANY
Lester thought caption: I guess this is technically all my fault, because everyone's trying to help me get de-fatassed, but this still SUCKS!
Panel 2
*Lester approaching Western-ish general store*
Lester caption: At least I've sort-of gotten used to this new frame of mine... I can get around better...
Panel 3
*Lester struggles to get through door*
Lester caption: STUPID!!
Panel 4
*approaches counter*
Lester caption: That Questar is cute, but what a DRIP! I'm glad he seems to like Taryn and not me! Plant Lad's real cute, but those weird tattoos freak me out! Plus Daddy would just DIE if I brought home a rebel space-rocker!
Panel 5
*standing at counter*
Lester caption: I hate to admit it, but that Jo-Don is SO handsome... GOD, I love skinny-assed cowboys...! *dreamy sigh*
Elderly cowboy clerk: C'n ah help ya, Tubby?
Panel 6
Lester caption: No time to think about hunks right now, though... I've got a mission!
Lester: Yes. I'm looking for a lock of Magician's hair, please. What aisle might I find that on?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 6
Panel 1
Elderly clerk: Locks o' hair are over in the corner aisle.
Panel 2
Lester thoughts: This is easier than I thought! Good thing I learned all about shopping at stores while on Bismoll!
Panel 3
Lester thoughts: Hmm... albino hair... coyote hair... horse hair... maiden hair... magician's hair...! And on sale!
Panel 4
Lester (walking up to counter): I'll take this.
Clerk: That'll be five silver credits.
Panel 5
Lester (reaching into pocket): Hmm... that's funny...
Panel 6
Lester (with utterly horrified look on his face): I... I don't have any money!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 7
Panel 1
Lester: That's impossible! I've never not had money before... even when Daddy cut me off and sent me to Bismoll, I always seemed to have money when I needed it... it's this STUPID fat body! It's completely messed me UP!
Panel 2
Clerk: Boo hoo, yer breakin' my heart, Chubby. But locks o' magician's hair tain't easy to come by, and they tain't free.
Panel 3
Lester: But-- I HAVE to have it, my friend's life and honor depends on it!
Panel 4
Clerk *with a naughty gleam in his eye*: Well then, Biggy... we'd best be comin' to an unnerstandin' then.
Panel 5
Lester: Oh. Jeebus.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 8
Panel 1
caption: Soon...
*Lester leaving store, with magician's hair in tow*
Lester: I can't believe that stupid clerk made me arm-wrestle him for the magician's hair! I wonder how the others are doing?
Panel 2
caption: NOYD ECHAD, PLANT LAD.
Noyd thoughts: Man, that Tiffany girl is a-ok! Too bad she digs Tenzil so much...
Panel 3
Noyd thoughts: Taryn's cute, too, but she's kind of got an attitude...
Panel 4
Noyd thoughts: Oh, well... better stop thinking about girls and get back to the mission at hand. Now just where would I find a bottle of Deltwan Whiskey around here?
Panel 5
*Noyd spies Space-Saloon*
Noyd's thoughts: Looks promising...
Panel 6
*Shot of Noyd entering through the saloon doors...*
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 9
Panel 1
*saloon patron heckling*
patron: Awww, lookit the boy's SWEET li'l TAT-toos.
patron: An' his purdy shiny hair!
patron: We don't like YER type in here, Greenie!
Noyd caption: Oh, I already figured this would happen.
Panel 2
*Noyd whips out space-guitar*
Noyd caption: So I came prepared!
Panel 3
*Noyd strumming & singing*
Noyd: Tain't nothing worse than when yer woman Gets all mad at you pops you in the face with a skillet And beats you black and blue
But it's all good 'cause Once you bring her flowers she's happy
And then she shows you just how sweet and loving she can be...
Panel 4
Noyd singing: Making-up loving It's the best kind Making-up loving She's treating you fine
So let her get mad In fact, help her if you can 'Cause that making-up loving It's the hottest loving in the land!
Panel 5
*cowboys clapping, cheering, some are crying*
patron: It's SO true!
patron: You ROCK, stranger!
patron: Encore!
Panel 6
Noyd: For my next number, I thought we'd have us a little hoe-down. I call this song "My Woman Drank up all my Silverale and Ran Off With The Space-Milkman!"
patrons: hoots & hollers of approval
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Panel 10
Panel 1
Noyd (singing): I got off work in the space-mine, Came home 'bout a quarter past nine, And I thought there was somethin' funny, I got no answer when I called for my honey.
So I opened up the space-fridge, And soon I was about to hemorrhage, Cause in the fridge there was nothing to drink, Just an empty bottle in the kitchen sink
Panel 2
Oh, my woman drank up all my Silverale And she ran off with the space-milkman I shoulda known better than to trust her When she couldn't even use a space duster
Oh, my woman drank up all my Silverale And she ran off with the space-milkman, I think I could put up with their ilk, But I don't even have no milk
Panel 3
*applause from the patrons*
Noyd: Thank you, thank you! It's a work in progress...
Patron: That was SO moving...
Patron: My third wife left ME for a space-milkman...
Panel 4
*Noyd approaches the bar*
Bartender: What'll it be? It's on the house...
Noyd: Do you have a bottle of Deltwan Whiskey?
Panel 5
Bartender: Sure thing. Shall I pour you a glass?
Noyd: Actually, what I really want is the bottle, not the whiskey...
[ July 25, 2004, 07:25 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 11
Panel 1
*Noyd exiting*
Noyd: Enjoy your whiskey, fellas, and thanks for the bottle!
Patrons: Ya'll come back now, y'hear!
Panel 2
Noyd thought caption: This chili of yours better be DAMNED good, Tenzil... you made me sing COUNTRY MUSIC to get this ingredient...!
Panel 3
caption: TIFFANY SPIFFANY
*Tiff walks down a busy street; all the cowboys are checking her out while their wives look angry about it*
Tiffany: Hmm. Where's the best place to find the print from an enchanted shoe...? I know! A shoe store!
Panel 4
Tiffany: And if there's one place I LOVE, it's a shoe store!
Panel 5
*looks up, excited*
Tiffany: Why, there's one now!
Panel 6
*Tiff enters the store, named SNAKESKIN*
Panel 7
*Tiffany approaches a worker*
Tiffany: Excuse me, sir.. I'm looking for magic shoes.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 12
Panel 1
Worker: Magic Shoes? What in tarnation?
Tiffany: Please sir, it's very important!
Panel 2
Worker: Look... I can make you a nice set of Cowgirl boots that'll be heck of a lot more practical than those fancy numbers you've got on now. But I don't know anything 'bout no magic. You'd have to talk to ol' Crazy Ernie about that.
Panel 3
Tiff: Crazy Ernie?
Worker: He's a hermit lives up by Kattletock Canyon. They say he dabbles in strange potions and enchantments, and he'll bewitch ya if you ain't careful. Say... you ain't from around here?
Panel 4
Tiff: No, sir. Can't you do something to help me? I really, really need the print from a magic shoe!
Worker: Well, I reckon I could lead you up to where Crazy Ernie lives. I'd sure hate to hear of a purdy young fillie like you get bitten by one them kattletocks.
Panel 5
Tiff: Thank you so much! Imagine such a handsome fellow protecting me from the dangerous kattletocks! I'm so honored!
Panel 6
*Worker hangs sign on door that reads "Back in 30 codracks*
Worker: I'll just close up shop here for a few codracks.
Tiffany: I'll certainly pay you for your time!
[ July 26, 2004, 02:35 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 13
Panel 1
*they are exiting store*
Worker: PAY me? I won't hear nothin' OF it, little missy! Whut kinda cowboy would I be if I didn't assist a damsel in distress?
Panel 2
Tiffany: YOU, sir, are a true gentleman! What is your name, if I may be so bold?
Panel 3
Worker: Shucks, ma'am, I reckon you can be as bold as you like with me! M'name's Trav-us, but folks around here call me "Snakeyes" on account of muh store and whatnot.
Panel 4
Tiffany: Oh, you are FAR too handsome to be called "Snakeyes", Trav-us.
Trav-us: *all goofy-like* Awwww, shucks, ma'am!
Panel 5
Trav-us: Well, this here's my horseaphant. You ever ridden before, ma'am?
Tiffany: I'm afraid not, Trav-us... and please, call me Tiffany.
Panel 6
Trav-us: Yes ma'am, Miss Tiffany. Now don't ya'll worry none, I've been ridin' horsephants since I was knee-high to a burr-whacker.
Tiffany: Oh, I feel VERY safe with you, Trav-us!
Panel 7
Trav-us: Let me help you hop up on ol' Jiggles here...
*Tiffany is on horseaphant; Trav-us looking up at her*
Tiffany: Wow! My first time to ride! I'm glad my first time is with you, Trav-us!
Trav-us: *Gulp!!*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 14
Panel 1
*Trav-us and Tiff on the horsephant*
caption: Soon, Trav-us and Tiffany make there way up Kattletock Canyon...
Trav-us: Ol' Jiggles here, he's a mighty fine steed. He don't get spooked by the sound of the kattletocks like most would.
Panel 2
*"Tock"-ing noises coming from the bushes alongside the trail*
Tiffany: *Gasp*! That sound! Is that...?
Trav-us: Yup. But we don't got much to worry about as long as we stay up on ol' Jiggles. Usually them kattletocks won't attack a full grown horsephant.
Panel 3
caption: Shortly...
Trav-us: Well, that's ol' Crazy Ernie's shack up ahead.
Tiffany: Wow! It looks... so... run-down...
Panel 4
*A bright flash startles Jiggles, who raises his front legs high in the air, almost throwing Trav-us and Tiffany off*
Off-panel voice: Heeheeheeheeheeheehee!
Panel 5
*Trav-us falls off Jiggles, taking Tiffany with him, as some sort of laser fire streaks through the air*
Off-panel voice: Ya come lookin' for my gold, eh! I'll show you what for, strangers!
Panel 6
*Trav-us and Tiffany are behind some kind of cover, like a big rock or something*
Trav-us: Now Ernie! Calm down! It's Trav-us! You know me! And you know laser weapons ain't legal on Sexat!
Tiffany (pulling at Trav-us's arm and pointing at something): Uh... Trav-us... those kattletocks... what exactly do they look like?
Panel 7
*Close-up on kattletock, preparing to strike*
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 15
Panel 1
Trav-us: A kattletock! Look OUT, Miss Tiffany ma'am!
*leaps over her protectively*
Panel 2
*the kattletock strikes Trav*
Trav-us: Arrrrgh!
Tiff: TRAV-US!!
Panel 3
Off-panel voice: HEhehehehehehehe!!
Tiffany: C... Crazy Ernie...?
Panel 4
*a laser blasts the kattletock to pieces*
Off-panel voice: I ain't the crazy one-- you sure didn't catch ME coming up to Kattletock Canyon unprotected!
panel 5
*Tiffany rises from behind rock*
Tiffany: My new friend is possible dying and I need the print from an enchanted shoe for a chili recipe to keep my other friend from possibly being killed!
Panel 6
*Tiff arches back, sticks out chest*
Tiffany: And I don't know what to do about either situation, because, well... I'm just a girl...
panel 7
*bending over*
Tiffany: ...a girl who would do ANYTHING... ANYTHING!! ...to help her friends out of a jam...
panel 8
Tiffany: So PLEASE, Mister Crazy Ernie... won't you help me...?
Panel 9
*a pair of shoes is thrown from off-panel to the ground in front of Tiffany*
Tiffany: *Gasp!!*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 16
Panel 1
caption: Soon...
*Trav-us and Tiffany are riding Jiggles down the trail*
Trav-us: Might obliged to ya for savin' me from that kattletock back there, Miss Tiffany, ma'am!
Tiffany: No biggie! That Ernie wasn't so bad once I gave him some Boil-Be-Gone for that nasty boil on his big toe! Though he really didn't need to give me both of his nasty old shoes!
Panel 2
Trav-us: If you don't mind my askin' ma'am, why exactly is it that you carry a tube of that Boil-Be-Gone wherever you go?
Tiffany: Uh... did I mention how brave you were so brave protecting me from that kattletock?
Panel 3
Trav-us: You sure is purdy!
Panel 4
Caption: OPPOSABLE BIG TOES BOY...
*Big Toes is looking at the piece of paper he's been given. On it is written "A tail-feather from a predatory bird*
Panel 5
*Big Toes looks up in the sky, and sees a large eagle like creature with small animal in its talons*
Panel 6
*Bird lands in a very, very, large and tall tree*
Panel 7
*Big Toes starts to climb tree*
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 17
Pasnel 1
*B-Toes midway up tree*
Panel 2
*B-Toes nearing the treetop; the eaglon's nest is visible at the top*
Panel 3
*B-Toes reaches treetop, across from eaglon nest*
Panel 4
*the Mama eaglon spots B-Toes*
Panel 5
*eaglon swooping in to attack B-Toes, B-Toes reaching in pocket*
Panel 6
*B-Toes sprays something on the eaglon*
Panel 7
*the eaglon very drowsily flying back to nest, collapsing on it*
Panel 8
*B-Toes nearing nest where Mama eaglon is passed out*
Panel 9
*closeup of B-Toes' hands; one is plucking a tail-feather from the eaglon, the other is holding a small canister labelled "Predatory Bird Knockout Gas"
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 18
Panel One
Caption: TARYN LOY AND QUESTAR...
*Taryn and Questar are walking through a prairie environment*
Taryn: So... Questar, do you have... like... another name or something?
Questar: Are you asking me to reveal my secret identity?
Panel Two
Taryn: Secret Identity? Grife!
Questar: I am afraid, even as beautiful as you are, you cannot know who I truly am! Nor can we get married, for my many enemies might try to hurt you to get at me!
Panel Three
Taryn: Many enemies? Like who?
Questar: Well, there was the Every 6 Hours Monster, and the Every Ten Years Monster...
Panel Four
Taryn: *Sigh* Do these cameras have to follow us around?
Questar: They are just filming my mighty exploits for my adoring fans!
Panel Five
Taryn: I... I think I'm alergic to some of these weeds... ah... ah... ah-CHOOO!
Questar: Let me offer you my hankerchief, my lady!
Panel Six
Taryn (using hankerchief): Thanks. What's this written on it? "Reges"? Is that your name?
Questar: Uh... I must have picked up some citizen's hankerchief by mistake! Quick, give it back, and perhaps I can... uh... find the rightful owner!
Panel Seven
*The two walking along some more*
Panel Eight
Taryn: Reges?
Questar: Yes? I mean... that's not my name! It's must be some other good citizen...
Panel Nine
*Spies some kind of Alamo type fort*
Taryn (smiling): Nevermind. I think we may have just found what we're looking for!
[ July 27, 2004, 10:17 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 19
Panel 1
Questar: You think we're likely to find the bones of a ne'er-do-well here?
Panel 2
Taryn: Maybe. Looks like some serious carnage took place here at one time. Let's check it out.
Panel 3
*the 2 looking around the fort*
Panel 4
Questar: EEEEEEEEEEK!
Taryn: What? What?
Panel 5
*shows a sweet little bunnylike creature*
Questar: W... what IS it...?
Taryn: I don't know, but it sure is cute.
panel 6
Questar: Well, if you LIKE that sort of thing, I guess...
panel 7
*the 2 continue to search*
Panel 8
*a trap-door opens beneath their feet*
Panel 9
*the 2 fall through the trap door, Questar looks panicked*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 20
Panel 1
*The room is very shadowy, Taryn can be seen dusting herself off*
Taryn: Questar? You okay?
Panel 2
Taryn: Questar?
Panel 3
*Questar's hand can be seen, with a kind of glow around it, illuminating the room, the room they are in is a kind of dungeon, with a few skeletons chained to the walls*
Panel 4
Questar (looking at the skeletons): *Gasp!*
Taryn: Hmm... this place seems to be the ruins of some sort of ancient fort, and this would be the stockade. But how would we know if any of these are ne'er-do-wells, or just captured enemy soldiers?
Panel 5
*Taryn notices one of the soldiers is wearing a much different uniform than the others*
Taryn: Hmm... that one stands out.
Panel 6
*Taryn takes some old paper out of the skeletons pocket*
Panel 7
Taryn: So it says this fellow was thrown in the stockade for continously shirking his duty. They'd considered discharging him, but decided he'd just be a burden on society, since he'd never been able to hold a steady job before. I guess he'll do.
Panel 8
Taryn: Can you fly him up, and then come back and get me?
Questar: Certainly!
Panel 9
*Questar flies out of dungeon, carrying skeleton*
[ July 28, 2004, 08:01 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 21
Panel 1
caption: Sonuvva...! We nearly forgot all about the alleged star of this comic magazine!
Jo-Don: MMM MMM MMM! Smell that, fellers? that's GEN-YOU-WINE Sexat Six-Alarm chili y'smell cookin'! I'd like to see the politician over there top THIS!
Panel 2
*Tenzil stirring*
Tenzil's thoughts: Just you wait, you skinny little podunk! If my friends come through...!
Panel 3
Lester: I got your stupid ingredient, Tenzil... but please don't ever ask something like this of me again, for I shall refuse you.
Tenzil: WOW! thanks, Les!
Panel 4
Plant Lad: You don't even WANT to know what I went through to get this, Kem. Suffice to say, it involved drawling.
Tenzil: Noyd, you're the coolest of the cool!
Panel 5
*Tiffany & Trav-Us ride up on Jiggles*
Tiffany: I got these enchanted shoes from an old crazy man, Tenzil! I would have made a print for you but I'm not touching the icky ol' things. Did you notice my new very special friend? His name is Trav-Us?
Trav-us: Howdy!
Tenzil: *accepting shoes* Dang tootin'!
Panel 6
*Big Toes presents the feather to Tenzil*
Tenzil: I always said you were handy to have around, Opposable Big Toes Boy!
Panel 7
Tiffany: Where's Taryn and her beau?
Tenzil: I know Taryn won't let me down...
Panel 8
Jo-Don: 30 minutes til the TASTE-OFF, hippies!!
Panel 9
*Tenzil looking worried*
caption: Come ON, Taryn...!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 22
*First three panels running along the top of the page*
Panel 1
Taryn (looking worried): Questar? Hmm... he should be back down here by now.
Panel 2
Taryn (looking really worried): Where IS he?
Panel 3
*Taryn looks up at the trap door above in fright as a scream can be heard up above*
Scream: AAAAIIIIIIIEEEE!
Panel 4
*Big splash panel as Questar falls, unconscious, back into the dungeon*
Taryn: Questar!
NEXT ISSUE CAPTION (in corner): What foul fate has befallen Questar? And will he and Taryn make it to the Chili-cookoff in time to save Tenzil? Stay tuned for the exciting next issue of Matter-Eater Lad!
[ July 28, 2004, 08:32 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
MATTER-EATER LAD #15
PAGE ONE
*Big Splash Panel of Taryn holding the unconscious form of Questar*
CAPTION: Taryn Loy has faced many a challenge since MATTER-EATER LAD: THE SERIES began. She has been shot by a Ninja Super-Maid, and has fallen prey to the Nudie-Medi-Center of Doom. She escaped the Realm of Darkness, the Realm of Scantily-Clad, Over-Endowed Vixens, and the Realm of Bright Lights and Good Times. She has risked interstellar war to save her best friend from a would-be galactic dictator turned super-fatass fetishist. She has braved the gay discos of Thrann.
But will Taryn face her greatest challenge yet as not one but two mighty super-heroes fight to win her affection? And will this rivalry endanger the one she cares for the most, Tenzil (Matter-Eater Lad) Kem, currently in desperate need of the final ingredient to complete his entry in the Great Chili-Cookoff of Space?
Turn the page and find out, gentle reader, in a story we call "ENTER... THE WESTERNER!"
[ July 30, 2004, 02:03 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 2
Panel 1
Taryn: Questar! What could have done this to you?
Panel 2
off-panel voice: I'm afraid I'm the guilty party, ma'am!
*Taryn looking up in shock*
Panel 3
*a figure leaps down in front of Taryn, we see only his backside*
Taryn: And you are...?
Panel 4
Westerner: M'name's Tim-Thee Santoza, ma'am. But folks 'round here like to call me... THE WESTERNER.
Taryn's thoughts: That BODY...! MrrrrroWWW!
Panel 5
*Taryn staring at him dreamily*
Westerner: Ma'am? Ma'am? You look a mite space-happy.
Taryn: *shaking off her stupor* Oh, I'm so sorry...! Got lost in thought there for a moment...
Panel 6
Westerner: S'quite alright. Taryn: What happened to Questar?
Panel 7
Westerner: Yer boyfriend here will be jes' fine shortly. I didn't take kindly to ya'll traipsin' 'round my Fort of Solitude, so I used my power to absorb his strength and endurance and beat the tar outta him.
Panel 8
Taryn: Oh NO! I'm so sorry we trespassed...! And let me assure you-- Questar is NOT my boyfriend, Tim-Thee. I'm very much a single woman.
Westerner: I'sat right? A purdy thing like you?
Panel 9
Taryn *all goofy*: *titter*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 3
Panel 1
Westerner: Well, regardless, you shouln't a-been wanderin' round these old ruins. It's more than a mite dang'rous.
Taryn: We certainly wouldn't have, if it hadn't been the direst of emergencies! You see, my friend... OH NO! Tenzil!
Panel 2
Westerner: Wha's that?
Taryn: My friend Tenzil is being held prisoner by a bunch of ruffians! They're making him participate in a chili-cookoff! I'm supposed to bringing back a key ingredient he needs, the bones of a ne'er do-well!
Panel 3
Westerner: Tarnation! Jo-Dun's up to his ol' tricks again?! Ever' time some stranger shows up he forces 'em into a chili-cookoff! And 'taint no one's ever bested 'em!
Panel 4
Taryn: If anyone could, it's Tenzil. But not without the secret ingredient that I was supposed to bring! And the taste-off's in twenty minutes! Oh, Tim-Thee, can you help me?
Panel 5
Westerner: Twenty minutes! Hmm... Jo-Dun's ranch is to far for me to make that, even with my enhanced strength and endurance! Our best bet's to wake up your flyin' friend here and get him to take it!
Panel 6
*The Westerner picks up Questar*
Westerner: Come on... I'll lead you through the series of secret passages to my secret laboratory!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 4
Panel 1
caption: And speaking of secrets... Anyone remember a pretty big one that came out a while back on Tartarus...?
Drura: Renkil Kem... not Tenzil at all... and you never were!
Panel 2
Policy Pam: Evillo's flunkies are escaping!
Incredible Girl: I'm on it...!
Panel 3
*Drura, enraged, raises her arms into the air*
Panel 4
*Drura flings her arms downward*
Panel 5
*Stick w/ a Nail in it Kid, Apollo, Tess and Lotus Fruit Lass collapse, screaming*
Panel 6
*Pam, Incredible Girl and Chet, who were chasing after the ex-Dozen, step back in shock*
Incredible Girl: Wha... what's wrong with them...?
Drura: You... Unspeakable... Bastard.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 5
Panel 1
Renkil: Drura... I... I can explain, honey...
Drura: DON'T call me, honey, creep!
Panel 2
*Drura waves her hand and Renkil starts clutching his stomach*
Panel 3
Incredible Girl: Can I just point out that my power to reverse the direction of motion of moving objects would have perfect to stop those guys?
Panel 4
*SWaNiiK, Apollo, Tess, and LFL begin to vanish*
Incredible Girl: Oh, and *now* they're vanishing!
Pam: Cheer up, IG! At least I managed to sell that Stick-With-A-Nail-In-It Kid some tetanus insurance! That means I've got the address of their hideout right here on this policy!
Panel 5
*Pam's insurance papers that she's holding begin to vanish*
Pam: Oh no!
Pieces of Brittle Boy: Uh, can somebody please gather me up?
[ July 31, 2004, 09:59 AM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 6
Panel 1
Drura: Shut UP, all of you!
*in background, the HOTties are looking a bit sickly*
Panel 2
Sugyn: Drura, m'lass... don't do this... let's talk about it over a hearty ale, eh?
Panel 3
*Drura screams in rage*
Panel 4
*the HOTties look even worse than before*
Panel 5
Drura: *regaining composure somewhat* No... must focus my anger where it really belongs...
Panel 6
Drura: *to Renkil* On YOU, you heartless monster! You DARED wear your brother's face... you DARED to tell me you loved me... Do you still love me NOW, Renkil...?
Panel 7
Renkil: *suddenly looking extremely ill* AAAcccck! But, Drura... I DO lov... ARRRRRGH! Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 7
Panel 1
*All the HOTties are starting to recover, except Sugyn, who still looks very ill*
Pam: Come on, gang! We've got to stop her before she kills him!
Sugyin: Ooooohh... I'm really not feeling so hot, lassie!
Panel 2
*A great burst of puke spews forth from Sugyn, covering everyone but hitting Drura straight on, knocking her unconscious*
Panel 3
Incredible Girl: Eeeew, Sugyn!
Chet: Well, at least he seems to have stopped her stopped her stopped her stopped her stopped her
Panel 4
Pam: We need to get Tenz... I mean Renkil, to a hospital. He's in bad shape.
Incredible Girl: And what about the queen?
Panel 5
Pam: We'll take her back to the palace, and get her cleaned up. Once her rage subsides she'll be in a much better position to think clearly about this.
Panel 6
Pam (to Sugyn): We should probably keep this whole thing secret from the League of Overly-Endowed Former Assassins. It's hard to tell how they'll react to you taking down the queen like that.
Panel 7
*Pull back, to where the sillhouette of a very busty figure can be seen watching them from the shadows*
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 8
Panel 1
caption: I swear, Eryk, we're going to have to change the title of this book to TENZIL'S PALS & GALS...
Tiffany: *arm around Trav-Us* Goodness! It's not like Taryn to be such a complete and utter failure, bringing nothing but disappointment and sorrow to those who care for her. Is it, Tenzil? Is it?
Panel 2
Tenzil: *stirring chili* Taryn's been doing a FEW surprising things lately... But, well... there's still a few minutes left... and if I have to, I can wing it...
Panel 3
Lester: *eyeing Trav-us* May I ask who you are and what your intentions toward my sister are?
Trav-us: Sister? Shoot-a-mile! I'd never have guessed that! You're so...
Panel 4
*Lester looking mad*
Panel 5
Trav-us: ...Ummmm.... so, uh... dif'rent from her and all.
Panel 6
Lester: Duh! Tiffany, I insist you send this extremely handsome but socially inferior ragamuffin on his way. He and his ilk are beneath you.
Panel 7
Tiffany: *to Trav* Well, maybe it's for the best if you go reopen your store... plus things are likely to get ugly here very soon...
Trav-us: but I could help ya'll...!
Panel 8
Lester: Toddle off now, Cowboy. See you half past never again.
Panel 9
*Trav-us walking off dejectedly in background*
Plant Lad: Uh oh! The natives are looking a little restless....!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 9
Panel 1
Tenzil: Jeebus. Okay, let use the laces from the shoes rather than the prints, add a bit more enchanted hair, and... jeebus. I really hate to have to do this.
Panel 2
*Tenzil removes his Umbra 3000s*
Panel 3
*Tenz tosses his Umbra 3000s into the chili pot*
Panel 4
*The cauldron really begins to start smoking*
Panel 5
*Everyone starts coughing*
Panel 6
Tenzil: Okay, it should just about be ready.
Panel 7
Tenzil thoughts: Hope this worked...
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 10
Panel 1
Jo-Don: It's TASTE TEST TIME, liberals! Get yer free-love, high-on-dope rears over here!
Panel 2
*the gang gathers around Jo-Don's pot, as he dishes out samples to his posse*
Jo-Don: I know you boys can't wait fer this!
Panel 3
*Jo-Don's buddies eating chili, looking happy*
Cowboy: Dang, Jo-Don, this's the best yet!
Panel 4
*Jo-Don grinning at Tenzil*
Jo-Don: You don't say?
Panel 5
Plant Lad: Mmmm... it IS pretty darn good...
Tenzil: Well, you good ol' boys have hed the REST-- now you better get ready for the BEST!
Panel 6
Jo-Don: Big talk, politician... but do you practice what you preach?
Tenzil: Come find out.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 11
Panel 1
*Jo-Dun's posse begins sampling Tenz's chili*
Cowboy #1: Hmm... that ain't half bad!
Cowboy #2: Fer a metro-slicker, you sure can make chili!
Panel 2
*Jo-Dun pushes his posse out of the way to sample it*
Jo-Dun: Let ME try that!
Panel 3
Jo-Dun: Hmm... it's better than I expected, all right!
Cowboy #3: Still, it ain't quite up to par with yours, Jo-Dun!
Panel 4
Cowboy #2: Yup. I reckon you've done won another chili-cookoff, Jo-Dun!
Panel 5
Jo-Dun: Why, thanks, boys! Now, to string up these metro-slickers! All 'cept that cute fillie, o'course! It's our God-given duty to make sure there ain't no more inferior chili bein' made!
Cowboy #1: There ain't nothin' I love more than a good hangin'! Let's get to it right away!
Panel 6
Cowboy #2: What about them other two?
Jo-Dun: We'll have to wait to string up that yella-haired actor fella. But I hope that purdy yella-haired fillie comes back! I reckon she's gonna be more fun to break than ol' Red!
[ July 31, 2004, 07:26 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 12
Panel 1
Plant Lad - thoughts: Well, sprock! Maybe I should have sang to them.
Panel 2
Lester - thoughts: Even though he wants to kill me, I still find that Jo-Don irresistible!
Panel 3
Tiffany - thoughts: I guess I shouldn't have sent Trav-us away after all.
Panel 4
Big Toes Boy - thoughts: Nth
Panel 5
Tenzil - thoughts: If only Taryn and Questar hadn't failed to show up...!
Jo-Don *now a full frontal view; Jo-Don's features have become those of a female*: STRING 'EM UP!!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 13
Panel 1
Cowboy #3 (who's features are also changing): Jo-Dun! What's happenin' to you?
Panel 2
Jo-Dun (begins rapidly aging): Them hippies must've put some lotus fruit or somethin' in that chili! I'm feelin' funny!
Panel 3
Tenzil: Now Noyd!
*Plant Lad begins transfomring into an octopus vine!*
Panel 4
*PL snatches the force beam generaters (which Jo-Dun and his boys were using to prevent them from escaping) from the hands of the cowboys-turned-old-hags!*
Jo-Dun: Eeek!
Lester's thoughts: I am SO not finding him attractive anymore!
Panel 5
Tenzil (Now holding one of the force beam generators): Fortunately, it was a simple task to modify Granny's recipe for "fatal chili" into the recipe for "old hag chili"! You'll be stuck as old hags for two weeks! That'll learn you to mess with a Bismollian!
Panel 6
Tiffany: Gosh, Tenz! If your Granny's "old hag chili" turns them into old hags, would your fatal chili have... *gulp*!
Panel 7
Tenzil: Nah, Tiff! They just call it that because it's so darn hot! When I knew I wouldn't have the ingredients to make Granny's best regular recipe, I resorted to one of her "magic" chili potions!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 14
Panel 1
Lester to dispersing cowhags: Ha, ha, ha! You're all a bunch of worthless old ladies!
random cowhag: Why you fat whippersnapper...!
random cowhag: My back hurts!
random cowhag: I've got a craving for pluberry gelatin!
random cowhag: That chili is making my stomach hurt.
Panel 2
Tenzil: Once again truth, justice and culinary skills prevail!
Panel 3
Plant Lad: ALl I know is I'm NEVER eating your cooking again.
Tenzil: Space-Philistine!
Panel 4
Tiffany: Lester's talk of worthless ladies reminded me... what happened to Taryn?
off-panel voice: Someone mention my name...?
Panel 5
*Taryn, Westerner & Questar flying in; Questar has one black eye*
Taryn: Sorry we're late...
Westerner: The fault is entirely mine.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 15
Panel 1
Tenzil: Taryn! You're okay! Where've you been?
Taryn (looking dejected): I'm sorry... we found the bones you needed... but then...
Panel 2
Westerner: Don't blame the li'l lady any. I saw them snoopin' around my Fort of Solitude and thought they was thieves. Ol' Questar here gave me quite the tussle 'fore I caught 'em by surprise. Too bad we couldn't get him woke back up in time to deliver yer ingredient.
Tenzil: Yeah, no biggy. I just mixed the ingredients around a little bit and turned Jo-Dun and his boys into old ladies.
Panel 4
Lester: Look, I hate to break up this lovely reunion, but what about ME? Can't you whip up some defatassing chili or something?
Tenzil: You know if would if I could, Lester. But I guess we've got to find away to get off planet so we can visit that doctor on Avatanda.
Panel 5
Questar: Give me a few moments to finishing recovering, and...
Tenzil, Noyd, and Lester: NO!
Panel 6
Tenzil: Sorry, Questar, but after this experience, I think it would be best if we found a more conventional mode of travel.
Panel 7
Westerner: Well, I reckon I owe it to you to offer you a ride in my space-wagon, to help you get where you're goin'. I don't get off planet much these days myself, so I wouldn't mind the trip. And it looks like you've made sure ol' Jo-Dun won't be causin' any problems for awhile.
Panel 8
*Questar looks on jealously*
Tenzil: We'd be much obliged, pard'ner!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 16
Panel 1
caption: And, true to his word...
*scene depicts Westerner piloting; Taryn sits beside him, Tenzil by her; Questar looks on jealously*
Taryn: Wow, Tim-thee... you sure know how to handle this ship!
Westerner: I reckon so, Ms. Taryn.
Questar: I don't see what's so outstanding about his flying. I mean, a MONKEY could be trained to pilot a spaceship.
Panel 2
*Tenzil leaning to Taryn, whispering*
Tenzil: I'm sensing some hostility here.
Taryn: Don't be ridiculous.
Panel 3
caption: elsewhere...
*Plant Lad, Tiffany, Lester & Big Toes chitchat*
Plant Lad: ...and when I was singing to those drunks, I felt... well, complete. I'd forgotten that feeling...
Panel 4
Lester: Blah blah blah. What about ME? I've completely forgotten the feeling of having a totally hot bod!
Tiffany: No wonder Dev-Em left.
Panel 5
Lester: WHAT DID YOU SAY!!??!!
Tiffany: You heard me. Maybe he would have stayed around if... oh, never mind.
Panel 6
Lester: If I could, I'd be storming out of here in outrage right now. But since that would be so much effort... get OUT, ALL OF YOU!!!
Panel 7
*Noyd & Tiff exiting*
Plant Lad & Tiffany: Gladly.
Panel 8
*B-Toes looking at Lester, shaking his head in disgust*
Panel 9
Lester: What are YOU looking at, you stupid monkey man?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 17
Panel 1
Caption: Soon...
Westerner: We ought to be comin' up on Avatanda directly...
Panel 2
*All of the instrument panels light up*
Caption: Suddenly, the cockpit fills with glorious music!
Tenzil: That sound! Where's it coming from?
Taryn: It... it's beautiful!
Panel 3
*The face of a bald monk appears on all of the screens*
Monk: Welcome to Avatanda! We are so delighted that you have chosen to visit our humble world!
Panel 4
Tenzil: Uh... hi there. We're here to visit the Central Monastery. We've come seeking a cure for my friend's... medical condition.
Panel 5
Monk: I have been told to expect your arrival, Tenzil Kem. You may proceed to land at the co-ordinates I am now transmitting.
Panel 6
*Monk disappears from screens*
Tenzil: Told to expect our arrival? Hmm... I guess Dr. Yeilek must have sent word ahead that we were coming...
Panel 7
*Shot of ship landing on landing strip*
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 18
Panel 1
*the gang exiting the ship, looking around at the mishmash of buildings that all appear to be from differing eras, planets and realities*
Panel 2
Plant Lad: Woah! I feel like I'm having a bad space-trip, if you know what I mean...
Tenzil: Taryn might!
Panel 3
Taryn: *slapping Tenzil's arm* Shut UP!!
Tenzil: OOooWWWWch!!
Panel 4
Taryn *whispering to Tenzil*: I'd appreciate you not bringing up my experiences on Thrann in front of Tim-thee... or at ALL, ever AGAIN, actually.
Tenzil *rubbing arm*: Sure, if it keeps you from hitting me. Jeebus!
Panel 5
*Tiffany screaming*
Tiffany: NO!!! It's... it's HORRIBLE...!!! I can't bear to LOOK at it...!!!!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 19
Panel 1
*Tenzil catches Tiffany as she faints*
Plant Lad: What'd she see, man?
Tenzil: I don't know.
Panel 2
Tenzil: I think she's coming around...
Tiffany: Horrible... so horrible...
Tenzil: She's delirious. I think we'll have to carry her for awhile.
Panel 3
*The gang continues, the Westerner carrying Tiff*
Questar: The landscape seems to be shifting around us as we walk!
Tenzil: I guess as long as we keep following these signs to the Central Monastery we'll be okay.
Panel 4
*The building seem to shift around them*
Plant Lad: Look... what's that up ahead?
Panel 5
*A crowd of monks can be gathered outside the entranceway to the Central Monastery*
Tenzil: That must be where we're headed.
Lester: *Sigh*! Another planet full of bald people! But at least their heads are normal-sized!
[ August 03, 2004, 02:01 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 20
Panel 1
*the gang draws closer to the crowd*
Questar: There must be THOUSANDS gathered...
Plant Lad: It looks like someone's up there giving a speech or something... I hear 'em but can't tell what they're saying...
Panel 2
Taryn: Something about this planet doesn't feel... right.
Lester: You just don't want me to be defatassed! You're enjoying my despair, aren't you?
Panel 3
Westerner: The li'l lady here is wakin' up again!
Panel 4
*Tiffany babbling in Westerner's arms*
Tiffany: Danger... a million lifetimes... in a million realities... danger... death... afro!
Panel 5
Lester: Bah! She's dreaming about that bad perm she got when she was 12!
Panel 6
Tenzil: Ssssh! I'm almost able to hear what the dude way up there is saying...!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 21
Panel 1
*Close up on the speaker. Readers who've been paying careful attention will recognize him as the pilgrim from back in Matter-Eater Lad #11!*
Speaker: ...and the great teacher said to me, "Qut-ube, for v'undas have I waited for the coming day, the day in which I shall perform my greatest service to this decaying galaxy. For I shall destroy he who consumes all. Those who have betrayed me so many times shall fall before the sacred dagger of rebirth!" Blessed be our great teacher, for truly he is chosen as the ultimate savior of the cosmos!
Panel 2
*Qut-ube gestures towards the gang*
Qut-ube: And hark! Here now is the one whose presence we have long-awaited! The great Tenzil Kem has come seeking our esteemed doctor! No doubt the mysterious ways of Dhrum have led him to his old friend just in time to assist him in achieving his cosmic apotheosis!
Panel 3
Tenzil: Jillkers! And I thought that Glad Hander guy was hard to understand!
Taryn: Look, we're here looking to help our friend. We've heard your "esteemed doctor" might be able to cure him of his recent... ungainly weight gain.
Panel 4
Qut-ube: Yes, yes! I'm sure the doctor will be very pleased to hear his friends have come to pay him a visit! Right this way!
Panel 5
Lester: Why do I get the feeling this is going to be something really stupid?
Westerner: Relax, pardner. Keep your chin up. Uh... both of 'em.
Panel 6
*Lester looking really annoyed at Tim-Thee*
[ August 04, 2004, 09:57 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 22
*small panels run along top, final panel is large splash panel*
Panel 1
off-panel voice, to Qut-ube: I am here, my faithful! Nothing that transpires, has ever transpired or will ever transpire in a million million realities escapes my notice!
Panels 2, 3 & 4
*feature the gang's shocked expressions*
Tenzil: Whoa!
Plant Lad: Get a load of THAT!
Taryn: I think this may have been a very BAD idea...
Westerner: Sure don't look none like the doctors back on Sexat.
Tiffany: *still held by Westerner* Afro... like... Ike...
Questar: Who's Ike?
Lester: That dude is UGLY!!
*Big Toes is wide-eyed in fear*
Panel 5
*the large splash panel*
Dr. Mayavale: My friends! My dear DEAR friends! I've awaited your arrival for lifetimes! Won't you give a hug to your old chum... won't you show some affection for... DOCTOR MAYAVALE!!!
next issue box: The VENGEANCE of MAYAVALE!
Posted by MLLASH on :
MATTER-EATER LAD # 16
PAGE 1
*splash page featuring drawings of the myriad of Tenzil images described*
caption: All comic book readers know that the reality we live in is but one of an infinite number of realities. In our reality, Tenzil Kem is the former chef for THE LEGION!
But, in OTHER realities...
Legionnaire Tenzil! Terminator Tenzil! Giant Turtle Tenzil! Tenzil the Hot Chick! Bizarro Tenzil # 7! Robot Tenzil! Hillbilly Tenzil! Tenzil of the Jungle! Tenzil Tot!
But who could imagine a reality where Tenzil... was a vicious killer??
Too crazy to be true? Too true to be crazy? Or is it all a part of... "The VENGEANCE of MAYAVALE"!!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 2
Panel 1
caption: When last we saw our heroes, they had arrived on the mysterious world of Avatanda...
Taryn: Look, we're here looking to help our friend. We've heard your "esteemed doctor" might be able to cure him of his recent... ungainly weight gain.
Panel 2
Qut-ube: I'm sure the doctor will be very pleased to hear his friends have come to pay him a visit!
Lester: Why do I get the feeling this is going to be something really stupid?
Panel 3
Doctor Mayavale: My dear DEAR friends! I've awaited your arrival for lifetimes! Won't you give a hug to your old chum... won't you show some affection for... DOCTOR MAYAVALE!!!
Panel 4
Doctor Mayavale: Well, don't just sit there gawking! This is a reunion, not a funeral! Qut-ube, bring our guests some Vxxniarade! They must be thirsty after their long journey!
Panel 5
Tenzil: Listen... Doctor... Mayavale, was it? I don't believe we've ever met... but we were told to come here because you might be able to help Lester here...
Panel 6
Doctor Mayavale: Lester! Dear DEAR Lester! Why yes! And help him I shall! Ah, Qut-ube has brought the Vxxniarade! Won't you join me in a glass, Lester, for old time's sake?
[ August 05, 2004, 07:38 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
Page 3
Panel 1
Lester: "Old time's sake"? No offense, Doctor... if you ARE in fact one... but I can absolutely assure you if I weren't desperately hoping you could cure my fatassedness, I wouldn't give you the time of day.
Panel 2
Mayavale: Aah, but that was not ALWAYS the case.
Panel 3
*mists have begun to swirl about*
Mayavale: It wasn't so many millennia ago when I-- Matilda, the most sought-after virgin of the village, met you-- Lucas, the most handsome boy of a neighboring village!
Panel 4
*the scene plays out in the mists*
Mayavale: It wasn't very long after we met that I -- Matilda-- became a virgin-no-more!
Panel 5
Mayavale: I gave myself to you... and you selfishly took as only a handsome 16-year-old boy can! I loved you!! I loved you more than life itself!
Panel 6
Mayavale: When it became apparent that I was with child, I begged you to marry me.
Panel 7
Mayavale: You refused!! You spat on me!!! You called me "trollop"!!! You called me "strumpet"!!!
Panel 8
Mayavale: My family disowned me; the villagers would have nothing to do with me! I lay in the street, sick and starving and with child!!! I lay in the street helplessly in my own filth, while the villagers cursed me and my unborn child!! And all the while, I never stopped loving you.
Panel 9
Mayavle: I died in the eighth month of my pregancy. Died with the name "Lucas" on my lips.
[ August 05, 2004, 09:24 PM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 4
Panel 1
Lester: Look, Doctor Matildale... my name is Lester, not Lucas. And I don't sleep with women. I don't know what you've been smoking, but I've suffered enough ignominity in the past few weeks, and I don't feel like putting up with crap. I'm fat. I don't want to be. Are you going to help me?
Panel 2
Mayavale: Ha ha ha ha ha! Why, of course, Lester, dear friend! Drink of the Vxxniarade, while I contemplate your situation!
Panel 3
caption: And, with that, Doctor Mayavale's strange form becomes deathly still, as he slips into a deep trance...
Tenzil: Do you think he's okay?
Taryn: I don't like this. I don't like this at all.
Lester's thoughts: Sheesh! I can't believe I'm actually placing all of my hope in this multi-armed hippy freak!
Plant Lad: Man, this Vxxniarade packs quite a kick.
Westerner's thoughts: I've heard some strange things told back home about this here Hippie World, but this beats all!
Questar's thoughts: Why do girls always dump me for cowboys?
Panel 4
Caption: Five minutes later, Mayavale suddenly springs to life!
Mayavale: Aha! I think I know the solution to your problem, dear Lester! But... egads! It's time for my afternoon laugh! I try to laugh for three hours every day! Keeps one healthy, you know! We'll talk afterwards! Feel free to have the run of the place in the meantime...
Panel 5
*Mayavale begins to exit the chamber*
Tenzil: But...
Mayavale: Oh, and it is very delightful to see you again, my friends!
Panel 6
*A door closes behind Mayavale*
Tenzil: Okay, so it looks like we've got three hours to kill...
Taryn: Maybe we should try to do something for Tiffany?
[ August 06, 2004, 11:53 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 5
Panel 1
Tiffany: *coming out of it* No... I'm fine... I was just suddenly overcome with so many images... so many feelings... and the main feelings were fear! Fear... and utter, hopeless insanity.
Panel 2
Tiffany: *to Westerner* Umm, Westerner... you can put me down now.
Taryn: YES, Tim-Thee... put her down. NOW.
Panel 3
Tenzil: Jeepers H. Tutu, Tiffany! Maybe you have, like, super-powers! Empathy or telepathy or something!
Panel 4
*Tiffany contemplating*
Tiffany: Hmmm. Well, I do have a knack for getting what I want and stuff. Is that a power?
Tenzil: It could be a form of empathy or emotion-controlling powers!
Panel 5
Tiffany: And it was strange how that icky monster on Zentor was drawn to me... and how I knew exactly which provocative poses to strike in order to get that nutty old man's magic shoes back on Sexat... and how guys always seem to fall in love with me and all!
Panel 6
Plant Lad: Well, if she IS empathic, shouldn't we all be a little worried about her "danger danger, death" warning?
Panel 7
Lester: You're ALL insane! I'm the only rational one here! Her "powers" are all in her big rack!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 6
Panel 1
Questar: Look, I, Questar, am gifted with limited psychic abilities. And I felt no premonition of danger. I think she just had some bad chili back on Hick's World...
Panel 2
Westerner: Hey, pardner, that's my homeworld you're talkin' about there. I don't take to kindly to you dissin' it. As they say, "You Don't Spat on Sexat!"
Panel 3
*As Taryn and Tenzil try to break the tension between Questar and the Westerner, Tiffany can be seen wandering near the window*
Tenzil: Guys, let's not go after one another, okay?
Taryn: Tenz is right. We need both of you to be alert. I've got a feeling that something bad is going to happen...
Panel 4
*A giant gorilla hand reaches through the window, grabbing Tiffany*
Tiffany: Yiiieeee!
Panel 5
*The gang run to the window, as Tiffany is pulled out by the giant gorilla*
Tenzil: Tiffany!
Panel 6
*As the gang look out the window, the giant gorilla can be seen climbing a replica of the Empire State Building, Tiffany in hand*
Tenzil: Jumpin' fishhooks!
Taryn: What's he doing?
Plant Lad: He's taking her up to the top of that strange building!
Lester: I recognize that place from my Ancient Earth History classes. It's called the Parthenon. And Tiffany should know better than to cavort with big furry ape-men. To think, Daddy used to say that I hung out with the wrong crowd. Hmph!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 7
Panel 1
Westerner *to Questar*: 'Port me UP there, boy! Now!
Quester: You're crazy!
Panel 2
Westerner: *placing his hands on Questar's face* Never mind, I'll do it myself! You ain't forgotten my power to temorarily absorb the strength, endurance and abilities of others have ya?
Questar: Noooooo...!
Panel 3
*As Questar collapses, Westerner blinks out*
Panel 4
*Westerner appears in the air in front of Kong's face*
Westerner: Howdy, monkey!
Panel 5
*Westerner allows himself to drop onto Kong's cheek*
Westerner: Don't send a boy to do a MAN'S job, I always say.
Panel 6
*Westerner places hands upon Kong*
Westerner: The POWER-- so MUCH...!
Panel 7
*shot of the rest of the gang below, watching upwards as Kong loses his grip on the building*
Tenzil: Oh... my... giddy... Aunt...
Taryn: NO!! We're DEAD!!! DEAD!!!!
Lester: I'm too rich to die!!!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 8
Panel 1
*As the gang stands in terrified stillness, a white streak can be seen rushing upward*
Panel 2
*Shot of Questar in excrutiating agony as he tries to slow Kong's descent*
*Taryn super-leaps and catches Tiffany as she falls*
Taryn: I've got ya, girl!
Panel 6
*As the gang has moved into the clear, Questar gently lets Kong down*
Questar: *Whew*
Panel 7
*Kong whacks Questar, sending him flying*
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 9
Panel 1
Taryn: Poor guy. All he ever gets for his toubles is smacked around.
Tiffany: Did you see, Taryn? That giant creature was also drawn to me, like the monster on Zentor! I must have empathic, giant-creature-attracting powers! Plus the power to make men fall in love with me! I could join... THE LEGION!
Panel 2
Taryn: I'm not sure there's much call for giant-creature-attracting powers.
Panel 3
Questar *flying back in*: Taryn! My love... are you alright?
Taryn: Never better. And Questar... thanks.
Panel 4
*Questar blushing, his eyes shaped like hearts*
Panel 5
Plant Lad: The creature-- it's vanishing!
Panel 6
*Kong has disappeared, Westerner who was lying unconscious on his cheek, falls to the ground with a PLOP!*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 10
Panel 1
Taryn: Tim-Thee! Are you okay?
Westerner (getting up): Yeah. I reckon that varmit was just a little tougher than I'd expected.
Panel 2
*Qut-ube rushes to the scene!!*
Qut-ube: Is everyone okay?
Tenzil: Yeah, it looks like it. What was that thing?
Panel 3
Qut-ube: Oh, Kong? He's usually as gentle as a lamb. I don't know what came over him.
Tiffany: I think it was my not-yet-controlled psychic powers which are to blame!
Panel 4
Qut-ube: Hmm... could be. Anyway, the great Mayavale sent me to escort all of you to the dining hall. He should be joining you once he finishes his afternoon laugh.
Panel 5
Tenz: Sounds good! I'm so hungry I could eat a rocketship!
Taryn: Hmm... where's Big Toes gotten to?
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 11
Panel 1
*Big Toes wandering the streets of Avatanda, sweating, looking slightly ill*
Panel 2
caption: You remember, don't you? DON'T you, old friend? Unlike the others... YOU remember our shared past.
*B-Toes looks scared as mists begin to swirl about*
Panel 3
caption: You remember lifetimes ago when you were Professor Oppenhiemer B. Topaz... and I was your lab assistant, Marvin...
*the scene plays out in the mists as B-Toes looks on, horrified*
Panel 4
caption: You were a genuis! Your patents brought you billions! And I? I made minimum wage!
Panel 5
caption: And when the day finally came that I discovered a scientific breakthrough-- one that would have earned me TRILLIONS-- were you happy for me? Were you, dear Professor Topaz?
Panel 6
caption: Of COURSE you weren't. You bashed my head in with one of your many awards! You disolved my body with your super-chemicals and claimed I never came back to work. You made it as if I never existed!! But you were unable to duplicate my successful experiment!
Panel 7
caption: My blood stained your hands permanently-- as did the blood of any since who have died of cancer. My discovery would have saved them all... except for YOUR jealousy and betrayal, Professor Topaz!
Panel 8
*B-Toes waving mists away with his arms*
Opposable Big-Toes Boy: NOOOooooOOOOooo!!!
Panel 9
*B-Toes running off & disappearing into the darkness*
[ August 12, 2004, 05:37 AM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 12
Panel 1
*The gang enter a huge dining room that looks like something from a medieval castle. Except that contains numerous anachronistic objects, including a ping pong table in the corner.*
Tenzil: Wowza!
Qut-ube: The Doctor requests that you wait here.
Panel 2
*After Qut-ube leaves*
Taryn: Tenz, I'm worried. That doctor creeps me out. And... have you seen Big Toes around?
Tenz: Oh, I'm sure Big Toes can take care of himself. There's more to him than meets the eye, you know?
Panel 3
Tenzil: And as for the Doc, he was recommended by someone recommended by a friend of mine! What could possibly go wrong?
Taryn: Well, you've got to admit that whole "Matilda" thing was a bit weird...
Panel 4
Tenzil: So he's eccentric! He's a hippie guru! What would you expect?
<Taryn still looks worried and slightly annoyed>
Panel 5
*Noyd is bouncing the ball on the ping pong table*
Noyd: You up for a game, Tiff? I'll show you how to play...
Tiffany: Well, I guess...
Lester: Tiffany! That's probably some game they play in plebian pubs or something!
Panel 6
Questar: I, Questar, am familiar with this game from one of my special missions to the past! It is quite fun. I'd love to play!
Westerner: Well, I'm game, though I don't rightly know what I'm doin'. How 'bout you an' me, Questar, 'gainst them two?
Noyd: We're on, then!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 13
Panel 1
Tiffany: NO!!! We daren't play ping-pong!!
Plant lad: Huh? Why not?
Panel 2
Tiffany: Death!!! Annihilation!! Both will be ours if we play ping-pong!
Questar: Well, that would certainly be no fun.
Panel 3
Lester: Bah! Tiffany, quit trying to make everyone think you have marvy psychic powers!
Tiffany: I'm NOT... and I DO!
Panel 4
Lester: Well, I think your metagene is on the fritz.
Westerner: Now, you look here, son...!
Lester: Don't you "son" me, cowboy! Hah! I bet those heels are filled with helium...!
Panel 5
*Westerner punches Lester*
Panel 6
*Tiffany runs to lester, who is on ground*
Tiffany: Lester!! Oh, Lester...!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 14
Panel 1
Taryn: Tim-Thee! How could you?
Westerner: I'm sorry you had to see that ma'am, but I jes don't take kindly to bein' insulted like that.
Panel 2
*As Tiffany comforts Lester on the ground, the Westerner suddenly starts clutching his stomach in pain*
Westerner: OOOHHHHH, what's going on...
Panel 3
*The Westerner face and body start contorting. Plant Lad leans up against a mural on the wall*
Tenzil: What's going on?
Taryn: What's happening to him?
Panel 4
*The Westerner is suddenly super-fatassed. Unnoticed by everyone else, Plant Lad falls through a trap door in the wall!*
Tenzil: Jumpin' fishhooks! He must have accidentally absorbed some of the super-energy that super-fatassed Lester!
Westerner: Oh... no...
Panel 5
*Questar has a slight smirk on his face*
Tiffany: Serves him right picking on poor Lester like that! Are you okay?
Lester: Ohhhh... stupid cowboy...
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 15
panel 1
*dark panel*
green caption: Wha... where... am I?
white caption: Where? You are in the limbo of your guilt... blacker than evil. Why? because I willed it.
Panel 2
*black panel*
green caption: Evil? Not likely, man. I've got love for everyone, despite my "rebel" image...
white caption: Oh? And have you always been this way?
green caption: Yeah, man... I was the kid popular in all the cliques... 'cause I was nice to everybody...
Panel 3
*tiny Plant Lad floating in front of image of jock guy beating up smaller guy*
white caption: Then how do you explain this?
Plant Lad: Whoa... poor li'l dude...
Panel 4
white caption: That "dude" has a name... Mason. As does the monster beating him... Noah.
Plant Lad: Noah...
Panel 5
caption: Yes. Noah... who beat Mason until the smaller lad lost consciousness. Who continued to beat Mason until he lost his very life...
Plant Lad: ...no...
Panel 6
caption: Oh, yes... and enjoyed every minute of it. The bloodlust... the terrible things he did to the body afterwards... Noah revelled in it all. Didn't you?
Plant Lad: ...no... not Noah...
Panel 7
*huge image of Mayavle appears before PL*
Mayavale: YES! YOU ARE NOAH! Noah! Who killed the boy because he represented everything Noah feared about himself!! KILLED ME!!! KILLED YOUR OWN BROTHER!!
Panel 8
*Plant Lad screams*
Panel 9
*Plant Lad back with others, looks terrified*
Taryn: Noyd...?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 16
Panel 1
*Plant Lad is looking all delirious and crazy!*
Plant Lad: no... no... ah... noah...
Tiffany: What's wrong with him?
Panel 2
Lester: You're the psychic. Why don't you mind meld with him or something?
Tiffany: Don't be facetious, Lester. It's so common.
Panel 3
Questar: I, Questar, think he may have a good idea! Let me see what I can do!
Panel 4
*Quester puts his hands to Noyd's forehead and screams*
Questar: AHHHHH!!!
Panel 5
*Questar collapses to the ground*
Questar: No-ah!
Lester: Oh great. Now he's turned into a muttering nincompoop as well.
Panel 6
*Questar snaps out of it*
Questar: No, I'm okay.
Tenzil: Good to hear, buddy. What'd you see?
Questar: Mayavale. I believe there is something horribly wrong going on here.
Panel 7
Plant Lad: Ah... man... so cold...
Tiffany: Poor guy, he's shivering.
Panel 8
*Tiffany goes and puts her arms around Noyd*
Tiffany: Come on. You'll feel better soon li'l Noyddy Woyddy.
Lester: Ah, grife.
Panel 9
Taryn: Guys, I'm starting to think we should just find Big Toes and get off this planet.
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 17
Panel 1
*the gang startled, fearful as a maniacal laughter fills their room*
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Panel 2
*image of Mayavale appears*
Mayavale: Well, that was the last of my daily 3-Hour laugh. "Get off this planet"? For shame, old friends... is this any way to treat a loved one? IS it? I suppose it IS the way sub-scum such as yourselves treat a loved one, though...
Panel 3
Taryn: "Loved one"? Are you insane? None of us know you!!
Mayavale: Are you QUITE certain of that, Taffy?
Tenzil: "Taffy"? *chuckle!*
Panel 4
Mayavale: And to answer your question... Yes. Yes, I am quite insane. Have been ever since the knowledge of all my previous and future lifetimes flooded into my brain. Insane. But correct. Everything I tell you, everything I revealed or will reveal is the truth. Awful, maybe, but the truth often is.
Tenzil: Hoo-kay. I think we'll be moseying along now. Questar?
Panel 5
Questar: Yes?
Tenzil: Time to do a little emergency 'porting. Even Sexat would be fine right now.
Panel 6
Lester: NO! We can't leave... my ass! My fat ass! He said he can fix it...!
Panel 7
Mayavale: Questar, eh? Aah, yes. Reges Questar! Although I knew you by another name...
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 18
Panel 1
*Questar blasts image of Mayavale*
Questar: No!
Panel 2
*Image of Mayavale has disappeared*
Tenzil: Jumpin' Jupiter! He's gone!
Questar: I will 'port us away!
Panel 3
*Questar 'ports out, leaving the rest of the gang standing in the room*
Panel 4
Taryn: Hmm... do you think he just forgot us? Or did his power malfunction?
Tenzil: Hard to tell, but I suppose we should probably try to find another way out...
Panel 5
*A darkened room, Questar is lying on the floor, with a giant image of Mayavale's head*
caption: Elsewhere...
Giant Mayavale Head: You thought you could get away my pretty? You thought you could escape me? Omniscient, Omnipotent me?
Questar: Nooooo......
Panel 6
Giant Mayavale Head: Well, Nik... let's see who's the wise guy now...
[ August 18, 2004, 08:06 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 19
Panel 1
Tenzil: We've GOT to get out of here! That Doctor is off his space-rocker!
Taryn: Agreed.
Tiffany: I tried to warn you all! But did anyone believe me?
Panel 2
Lester: Bah! I'll never believe you have powers.
Tiffany: Well, I think it's fairly obvious that I do.
Panel 3
Plant Lad: Who the sprock CARES who's got powers? We've gotta get OUTTA here! He's... he's powerful, man... and powerful crazy, too!
Tiffany: What did he do to you, Noyd?
Panel 4
Plant Lad: I... I'll never say.
Lester: Use your vaunted psychic powers and find out, sis!
Tiffany: Shut UP, Lester, or I'll have Westerner punch you again.
Panel 5
Westerner: SHUT UP, the lotta ya! That 4-handed, no-feeted fella is missing... ol' yella-haired Questar is missing... looks like that wacky hippie-physician is tryin' to pick us off like the 10 li'l Indians of space.
Tenzil: Feeling better, Santoza?
Westerner: A mite.
Panel 6
Tenzil: Good. I hate to hit a sickly man.
*Tenzil punches Westerner*
Taryn: TENZIL!!!
Tiffany: Oh, JEEBUS, make it STOP...!!!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 20
Panel 1
Mayavale: Do you remember, Nik Maroka? Do you remember Cyrus "Bulldog" Hogart? I could have been heavyweight champion of the world with any other manager.
Panel 2
Mayavale: But your mob bosses decided I should throw the fight against the champ. When I refused, you and your thugs left me for dead in the alleyway. But I wasn't dead.
Panel 3
Mayavale: Injured as I was, I made it to the fight. And I was giving the champ the tussle of his life.
Panel 4
Mayavale: Until an assassin's bullet rang out from the stands, ending my quest for the championship as it ended my life. That assassin was in YOUR pay.
Panel 5
Mayavale: Return to your friend, Nik, now that you know why you are doomed!
Panel 6
*Questar reappears in the room with the rest of the gang*
[ August 18, 2004, 08:08 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 21
Panel 1
*large panel featuring the re-appeared Questar looking shocked as Tenzil, Westerner, Lester, Taryn, Plant Lad and Tiffany are all fist-fitghting each other*
Questar: WHAT the...!
Panel 2
Questar: STOP it, all of you! My stasis-field isn't very powerful, but it's enough to halt your carnage!
Panel 3
Tenzil: NOOOO!!! MUST KILL!!!
Taryn: Must bite! Must bash! Must slash!
Lester: Die, Sexat-boy! DIE!
Westerner: Diet, fatass! DIET!
Panel 4
Questar: Wee Willy Willikers! That Doctor Mayavale has somehow made you all as unhinged as he!
Plant Lad: I'll sprocking KILL you, man! I'll sprocking eat your EYES on a sundae...!
Panel 5
Questar: Now, Noyd! You KNOW that doesn't sound appetizing. I'm getting us ALL out of here... NOW.
Panel 6
*flash of light*
Panel 7
*everyone is still there*
Questar: uh oh.
Tiffany: *maniacal expression* Ha. Haha. HAHAhahahaHAHAHAhahahahha!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 22
*Big splash panel of the entire gang (who suddenly all have knives) getting ready to stab Questar*
Tenzil: Questar, my dear friend! You have been chosen for the honor of being the first sacrifice in K'revvenna, the great ceremony of spiritual rebirth!
Everyone: HAHAhahahHAHAHAHAHhahahaha!
NEXT ISSUE BLURB: Is this the end of Questar, hero to millions and star of the Questar network? Or does he have a trick up his sleeve that will save him? And how will the gang escape the clutches of the maniacal Mayavale? Find out in "Chance of a Lifetime!"
[ August 18, 2004, 07:51 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
ISSUE #17
*Big splash panel similar to the big splash panel on the last page of last issue!"
Caption: Ever since the introduction of Questar, one of the most vocal fans of MATTER-EATER LAD: THE SERIES has been calling for his demise! And when last we saw Reges, he was in a perilous situation indeed! His friends, apparently possessed by the evil lunatic hippy guru Doctor Mayavale, were bent on sacrificing Questar in a bizarre cosmic enlightenment ritual! Will Questar be able to escape? Will he able to help his friends? Where the heck did Opposable Big Toes Boy get off to anyway? Well, gentle reader, turn the page and discover for yourself in "Chance of a Lifetime!"
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 2
Panel 1
*Doc M appears as gang approaches Questar menacingly*
Mayavale: Excellent! I see my special drugged vxxniarade has had its desired effect! They are all in my power, Nik, and your super-abilities in this lifetime have been all but negated. Soon I shall employ the beauty of karmic riposte! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!
Questar: That isn't good, is it?
Mayavale: Not for you.
Panel 2
*Questar is surrounded by the gang*
Questar: >Gulp!<
Panel 3
Mayavale: TAKE him! Follow me... to the CHAMBER OF LIVES!!
Panel 4
Questar: Chamber of Lives...? It doesn't sound so bad.
Mayavale: It is in the Chamber of Lives that I became what I am now.
Panel 5
Questar: Oh. Great.
Mayavale: And it is there, today, that I shall begin step one of MY ASCENTION!
Questar: Ascention?
Panel 6
Mayavale: To GODHOOD!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 3
Panel 1
Mayavale: You, Nik, must be very excited! Your blood shall be collected and then thrown into the fiery pits of Jolgoth from whence the wheeling mists of the Chamber of Lives emerge! As the blood of mine enemies merges with the sacred vapors, it shall form a special compound which, when inhaled by the chosen saviour of the cosmos, namely myself, shall begat massive changes in my physical form! The last remnants of my human shell shall be discarded like that of a molting insect! And, indeed, I shall be leaving the world of you mere mortal insects behind to traverse on a more cosmic plane! Be glad, my dear Reges, for you shall be first to be sacrificed in the great Avatandan ritual of K'revvenna!
Panel 2
Questar: Because I'm your greatest enemy?
Mayavale: NO! That would be Tenzil here! And that is why he shall be sacrificed last! I'm just using you to practice the ritual! Hmm... I wonder which of your friends will make the fatal stab when the time comes?
Panel 3
Questar: *gulp*!
Questar thoughts: Must... not... give... up! How can I distract him? Hmm... that just might work!
Panel 4
Questar: I, Questar, do feel that it is a great honor to be your first sacrifice, but I was wondering if you could fulfill a last request? I'd really like to hear some more about how all of us betrayed or killed you in our past lives! What did, for instance, Taryn here do to you?
Mayavale: Ah, Taffy! Well, that's an interesting story...
[ August 23, 2004, 06:26 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 4
Panel 1
*mists have begun to swirl about Doc M*
Mayavale: A mere handful of lifetimes ago, I was a beautiful high school student. Maryanne was my name.
Panel 2
*scene plays out in the mists*
caption: My best friend was Taffy, who was also beautiful but not quite as beautiful as I!
Panel 3
caption: We were both running for Homecoming Queen... I, of course, was the front-runner.
Panel 4
caption: But when the day came to announce the winner, I discovered I had LOST! Taffy was crowned Homecoming Queen instead!
Panel 5
caption: Later, I discovered that Taffy had tampered with the results. I-- Mary-- had actually won!
Panel 6
caption: So I hunted Taffy down and slashed her to tatters for her betrayal most foul!
Panel 7
caption: The police put me in prison for the remainder of my life! TAFFY was the guilty one, not me!
Panel 8
*back to Mayavale*
Mayavale: ANd now, at long last, Taffy will PAY for her crimes!!!!
Panel 9
Questar: "Crimes"? It sounds to me like you are the one who commited the true crime...
Mayavale: SILENCE!!!!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 5
Panel 1
*Mists begin to swirl again*
Mayavale: In another lifetime, another reality even, Tenzil here was known as Nura Nal, beautiful siren of Naltar!
Panel 2
Mayavale: In this universe, I had gained a great deal of spiritual awareness, much as in this world! And I had realized, as I do now, that I must kill those who betrayed me in order to achieve my ascension!
Panel 3
Mayavale: I captured Nura and two of her comrades in their Legion of Super-Heroes while they were on a deep space mission!
Panel 4
Mayavale: I had believed her comrades were disposed of, and was preparing to sacrifice the beautiful Nura in the rite of K'revvenna...
Panel 5
Mayavale: When her two friends suddenly interrupted the ceremony! A minor annoyance, for I quickly imprisoned them in my cellular disrupter beams...
Panel 6
Mayavale: But seeing her friends in pain sparked something deep within Nura that I had not expected...
Panel 7
Mayavale: ...and she exploded furiously, striking me with mighty blows!
Panel 8
Mayavale: Even in this lifetime, my shins still bother me from the thrashing I took from Nura! Tenzil, oh beautiful Tenzil! You must suffer for the pain you inflicted...
Panel 9
Tenzil: I... must... suffer... for... wait... a... minute... Jumpin' fishhooks! Didn't I date Nura? How can I be her?
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 6
Panel 1
Mayavale: Bah! This was in a reality that now no longer exists, short-sighted one!
Tenzil: This reality had no Tenzil Kem...?
Panel 2
Mayavale: It did, but he wasn't you.
Tenzil: Me am confused.
Mayavale: Such is my curse and my blessing. I comprehend it all!
Panel 3
Mayavale: WAIT a minute-- you're no longer drugged...?
Panel 4
Tenzil: Never was. Bismollians can't drink vxxniarade or any other type of regular drinks. I was just playing along to see what your plan was...
Panel 5
Mayavale: Oh? Then I think I shall get directly to YOUR DEATH! SLAVES!! Seize him and sacrifice him!
Panel 6
Taryn: I don't think that's gonna happen.
Mayavale: Taffy...!??!
Taryn: I'm a Bismollian too, Curly.
Panel 7
Mayavale: It matters not. Proceed with the seizing and sacrificing!!!
Panel 8
*Tiffany, Noyd, Lester and Westerner advance menacingly upon Taryn, Tenzil and Questar*
[ August 25, 2004, 06:21 AM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 7
Panel 1
*Noyd advances on Questar*
Questar: I, Questar, do not want to harm you, Plant Lad! I advise you to stay back!
Panel 2
*Lester and The Westerner approach Taryn*
Taryn thoughts: Hmm... Daddy may have given me the strength of three men, but Lester and Tim-Thee both way at least as much as three men now! What can I do?
Panel 3
*Tiffany advances on Tenzil*
Tenzil: Jumpin' crackerjacks! Tiffany, you know I like you a lot, but this might not be the best time to be getting so... intimate!
Panel 4
*Taryn super-leaps out of the grasp of the Westerner and Lester*
Panel 5
*Taryn lands on the ping pong table, where she picks up a paddle and ball*
Panel 6
*Tiffany, who is now very close to Tenzil, notices Taryn with the ping pong equipment*
Tiffany: NOOOOO! Can't... play... ping... pong!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 8
Panel 1
Tenzil: Tiffany...?
Tiffany: My psychic powers have at last broken Mayavale's hold on my mind! I'm fine now.
Panel 2
Questar: Great! We're taking it all away from him, one of us at a time! I, Questar, am pleased by this!
Panel 3
*Noyd wallops Questar*
Plant Lad: Does THIS please you too, you stupid boy scout?
Questar: No, Noyd! I, Questar, have no desire to cause you harm! Do not force my hand...!
Panel 4
*Plant Lad kicks Questar in the nads*
Questar: ArrrGGGGGGhhhh!
Plant Lad: Doc M said to seize and sacrifice... he didn't say you had to be completely rupture-free for it, though...
Panel 5
*energy crackles around Westerner as he de-fatasses*
Westerner: Awww, YEAH! The energy I accidentally borrowed from Lester has worn off! Ya'll are in for a serious beating now, Tenzil!
Panel 6
Mayavale: YES, Westerner! Subdue him! As painfully as possible!!
Tenzil: Yeesh! I guess Doc Maavale never took the super-Hippocratic oath of space!
Panel 7
Mayavale: I only mouthed the words-- I didn't speak them aloud! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 9
Panel 1
*Westerner punches Tenzil*
Westerner: I have subdued the Bismollian, master!
Panel 2
*Plant Lad delivers a final blow knocking Questar to the ground*
Plant Lad: The boy scout is down, as well!
Panel 3
Mayavale: Yes! Ye-ess! YESSSS! Now captured the treacherous females!
Panel 4
*Noyd turns into a Venusian Octopus vine and starts tangling up Taryn*
Taryn's thoughts: These vines are too strong to break out of without risking hurting Noyd...
Panel 5
*Tim-Thee menacingly approaches Tiffany, as Lester watches in the background*
Westerner: Now, come along li'l lady! We've got big plans for you!
Panel 6
*Tiffany suddenly punches Tim-Thee, who falls into Lester*
Tiffany: NO! I will not let him hurt us anymore!
Panel 7
*Tiffany rushes Mayavale*
[ August 30, 2004, 04:18 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 10
Panel 1
*Tiffany kicks Doc M in the face*
Tiffany: YOU FILTHY SLIME!
Mayavale: What the-- AWWWWK!!
Panel 2
*Tiff punches him*
Tiffany: YOU DEPRAVED, DISGUSTING ANIMAL!!
Mayavale: Blessed Hannah! She's gone berserk!
Panel 3
*Tiffany rips one of Doc M's extra arms off*
Tiffany: Son of a sub-dog!!! You'll pay for what you've done...!
Mayavale: EEEeeeeeeekkkk!
Panel 4
*Doc M, bloodied and bruised*
Mayavale: No more, Ripper... I beg you...
Tiffany: Ripper...?
Panel 5
Mayavale: Have you so soon forgotten, Ripper...? Forgotten the other tortures you inflicted on me...?
Panel 6
*mists begin to swirl*
Taryn: AGAIN with the mists. Here comes another wacky story.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 11
Panel 1
*scene of a particularly mean looking kid terrorizing smaller kids on the play ground*
Mayavale: Don't you remember when you were Hank "Ripper" Smith, terror of the schoolyard?
Panel 2
*shot of Ripper's parents bringing home a new puppy dog*
Mayavale: Your parents believed that by buying you a pet, you might learn to master your sadistic tendencies!
Panel 3
*Shot of an older Ripper being imprisoned*
Mayavale: But instead you became famous for the massive killing spree you went on at the age of eighteen!
Panel 4
*Shot of the little puppy dog lying dead*
Mayavale: But few knew of your first victim. Poor little defenseless Pickles. I was Pickles!
Panel 5
*Mayavale's image all giant and looking more menacing than ever!*
Mayavale: YOU deserve to DIE for what you did to ME!
Tiffany: I... deserve...
Panel 6
*Tiffany delivers a massive punch to Mayavale*
Tiffany: NOOOOO!
[ August 30, 2004, 07:25 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 12
Panel 1
*shot of Mayavale exploding into white light*
Mayavale: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Panel 2
Mayavale's apparition: You have grown, Tiffany Spiffany. That surprised me. But you're still a traitorus, betraying skanch! Mayavle shall return! Return! RETURNnnnnnnnnn.....****
Panel 3
Tiffany: Praise Mooga! I thought he'd NEVER leave.
Panel 4
Tiffany: Time for us to... *gasp!*
Panel 5
*shot of Tiffany surveying her bruised, battered and emotionally drained buds*
Tiffany: ...pick up the pieces?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 13
Panel 1
*Shot of Westerner helping Tenzil to his feet*
Westerner: I don't rightly know what came over me, pardner...
Tenzil: Willikers, Westerner! You sure pack a wallop!
Panel 2
*Others are stuggling to gain their bearings*
Taryn: I think we better get out of here as quick as we can...
Panel 3
*The gang cautiously exits the monastery*
Noyd: I hope you guys know the way back to the ship...
Panel 4
*Qut-ube and a group of monks appear and start pointing at the gang*
Qut-ube: Get them!
Tenzil: Jillikers! Looks like it's time to high-tail it outta here!
Panel 5
*The gang starts to run, Lester noticebly struggling to keep up*
*Questar picks up Lester in his anti-grav field, while the others run from the monks*
Questar: While my teleportation powers seem to still be on the flux from Mayavale's meddling, I, Questar, can still give you a lift, Lester!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 14
Panel 1
*shot of the gang, running Scooy-Doo style*
Panel 2
Tenzil: Zoinks! They're gaining on us!
Tiffany: Jinkies!
Panel 3
Lester: Why don't ya zap 'em with a brain-blast, Sis?
Taryn: Give it a rest, Lester-- she just saved us all!
Panel 4
Tiffany: I wish I could have saved poor, poor Pickles...
Plant Lad: Speaking of pickles...
Panel 5
*the gang face a dead-end*
Plant Lad: ...looks like our butts are pickled, now.
Panel 6
Questar: NO! Not while I, Questar, draw breath! I will buy you all time to escape by taking on the lunatic monks myself!
Westerner: Pah! This is a job for a man, not a boy, boy. I'll do the selfless sacrificing 'round here! You git outta here with the others.
Panel 7
Taryn: If you gentlemen can reign in your testosterone for a moment, it looks like no one needs to commit suicide here... LOOK!
Tenzil: MAN, is he ever handy, or what...? Heh. "Handy".
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 15
Panel 1
*Big Toes is waving from the cockpit of the Westerner's ship, whilst operating the controls with his feet*
Panel 2
*Big Toes starts blasting the monks with laser beams from the ship*
Westerner: Well, I'll be... that ape boy is using the stun rays on The Setting Sun to take out that mob o' hippies!
Panel 3
*Big Toes lands the ship, and waves for all of them to get on board*
Tenzil: Let's get off this crazy planet!
Panel 4
*The gang is now onboard the ship*
Westerner: I'll take over, if you don't mind!
Tiffany (looking out cockpit): What's that in the distance?
Panel 5
Tenzil: It looks like some kind of zoo or something! Fly us in closer, Tim-Thee!
Lester: Closer? I thought we were getting off this stupid planet?
Panel 6
Plant Lad: Hold on, man. I want to see what it is as well...
[ August 31, 2004, 07:56 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 16
Panel 1
Tiffany: *gasp!* There's that giant gorilla-thing that grabbed me...! It's now locked in an energy-cage!
Panel 2
*sees the preboot Sden*
Plant Lad: Dig that big lizard-looking dude with the tentacles-- reminds me of me when I'm an octopus vine-- 'cept I'm not that ugly. Check out that firey cage it's in...
Panel 3
*sees the preboot Mordecai*
Taryn: Look at THAT thing... I'd hate to have to go a round with it!
Panel 4
*sees the preboot Jungle King*
Lester: Poppin' hotties! Did you take a gander at that GORGEOUS dude in the leopard-skin loincloth...? What's he locked up for? Maybe we should go help him...
Panel 5
Tenzil: There's lots more folks and things down there, too. Maybe we Should...
Panel 6
*ship is struck my blaster fire*
Plant Lad: ...Get the eff out of here? Yep, we should.
Westerner: I agree with the rockabilly. Hang on tight, pardners, ladies...
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 17
Panel 1
*The Setting Sun dodges laser fire from the planet*
Panel 2
Westerner: Yee-Haw!!! Looks like we got outta the range of them laser cannons!
Plant Lad: Good piloting, Tim-Thee!
Panel 3
Tenzil: That was impressive the way you took down Mayavale, Tiffany!
Tiffany (blushing slightly): Why, thanks! I don't know what came over me, exactly!
Panel 4
Taryn: You kind of surprised me as well. There may be a bit more to you than I thought at first.
Tiffany: I've been thinking... the way I went all crazy and took Mayavale down... maybe that's one of my powers as well?
Panel 5
Tenzil: You mean some kind of berserker fighting ability? Could be!
Lester: Oh, brother. Not more of Tiffany's supposed "powers".
Panel 6
Tiffany: Well, I don't know. But kicking six-armed hippie fanny sure takes a lot out of a girl! I think I'll go take a nap! Wake me when we get there!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 18
Panel 1
*Tiffany exits*
Tenzil: Jillikers! I just realized-- I don't know where "there" even IS! Our mission to defatass Lester has been a dismal failure...
Lester: TELL me about it!
Tenzil: ...and we can't return to Bismoll and I don't have a CLUE what to do next.
Panel 2
Taryn: Actually, I smoothed things over with Thora. In fact, to honor the deal I made with her, we will have to return to Bismoll.
Panel 3
Tenzil: Wow, Taryn! Good work! But I still can't help but wonder...
Panel 4
*looking at Noyd, Questar, Big Toes & Westerner*
Tenzil: ...well, about you guys.
Questar: What about us?
Plant Lad: Yeah, what about us?
Panel 5
Tenzil: Well, don't you all have, like, lives to get on with or something?
Panel 6
Questar: I, Questar, have no intention of returning to Zentor, the planet that deceived me so callously, until it is time to pick up my next paycheck for my holoshow! And even then I have no intentions of remaining there long. Instead, I, Questar, choose to accompany my new friends and the woman I... like a lot!
Panel 7
Plant Lad: And I sure as eff don't wanna return to Simballi. I've never been to Bismoll before... maybe I could score a record contract...
Panel 8
Westerner: Shucks, Tenzil-- without me, I don't even know how ya'll would GET to Bismoll. Looks like I'm along for the reide a mite longer.
Panel 9
Big Toes Boy: My role in this cosmodrama is predestined to be increased shortly. Therefore, he whom you all know as "Opposable Big Toes Boy" shall continue with you on this journey.
Tenzil: *gasp!*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 19
Panel 1
Plant Lad: You know... this reminds me of a Durlan saying...
Panel 2
scream: EEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!
Tenzil: Tiffany!
Panel 3
*Tenz, Taryn, and Noyd burst into room where Tiff was napping, she is sitting up, crying*
Tiffany: It's horrible... horrible...
Panel 4
Tenzil: Tiff! What's wrong?
Tiffany: Oh, Tenzil! I just had the worst dream! *Gasp*! It must have been one of my psychic visions!
Panel 5
Noyd: What happened, babe?
Tiffany: The ship! We must land the ship! Or we'll all be destroyed!
Panel 6
*Tiffany leaps up, and runs from the room*
Taryn: Tiffany! Wait!
Panel 7
*Tiffany bursts into cockpit*
Tiffany: We must land, now!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 20
Panel 1
*Tiffany pushes Westerner aside, and is adjusting ship's controls*
Westerner: Smokin' succatash! What's got into you, gal?
Tiffany: We must land NOW and get off this ship!
Panel 2
Westerner: Shoot, li'l lady, if you need to use a lav, there's one in the back...
Tiffany: I don't! My super-female intuition has given me a premonition... if we remain aboard this ship, we will all perish!
Panel 3
Westerner: Shoot-a-mile, ma'am! Where'd you learn to program a ship like that?
Tiffany: I... don't know, I just knew. I must have absorbed the information from your mind with my ever-increasing powers! Gosh-- soon I'll be-- omnipotent!!
Panel 4
*Tenz, Taryn & Noyd enter*
Tenzil: What the sprock's going on?
Westerner: The li'l lady's done went and changed our course on us.
Panel 5
Taryn: Looks like we're going to be landing on that planet. The geogronav says it's named "Baskh".
Plant Lad: Never heard of it.
Panel 6
Tenzil: Tiffany! You can't just run around freaking out and mutinying and stuff.
Tiffany: When people question me, it makes my berserker rage kick in.
Tenzil: >Gulp!< Well, if Westerner doesn't mind a pit-stop...
[ September 02, 2004, 10:48 AM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 21
Panel 1
*Shot of the ship landing*
Panel 2
Tiffany: Now, we must get off immediately! I've foreseen the ship being destroyed in a terrible explosion!
Lester: Tiffany! Stop this stupid psychic crap now!
Panel 3
Tiffany: Don't make me angry, Lester!
Westerner: I think maybe it's best if we do as the li'l lady says!
Panel 4
*The gang disembarks the ship. They've landed on the outskirts of a Baskhian town*
Tenzil: Hmm... I wonder what kind of planet this is?
Taryn: Just be careful, everyone.
Panel 5
*The gang begins to walk into the Baskhian town. Noticeably, all of the citizens are dressed in black.*
Tenzil: Hmm... not much for the latest fashion trends, are they? I wonder if there's a store that sells sunglasses around here?
Panel 6
*Tenzil inside a store, spies an aisle with Umbra 3000s*
Tenzil: Ah, yes! Hmm... hope they take Venusian Walking Money!
Panel 7
*Tenz leaves the store, wearing his new Umbra 3000s*
Tenzil: Ah, now I feel complete again! And I picked up an extra pair in case we need to make that chili recipe again!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 22
*smallish panels run along top, last panel is larger splash-style*
Panel 1
*a dark room, where an obviously-female figure views the gang on a vid screen*
caption: And, nearby and taking note of the new arrivals...
female: What's this...? I cannot believe it!
Panel 2
*still viewing vid*
female: What timing! Could the Luck Lords be wanting a date, perhaps? That they would guide these morons to this planet, here and now...
Panel 3
*still viewing vid*
female: Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes. A cataclycsm brought me here and circumstances seem to be working in my favor!
Panel 4
*the female is revealed; a stunning, voluptuous platinum blonde... with a hint of evil in her face*
female: This is going to be SOOOOO cool....
Next: AGE AIN'T NOTHING BUT A NUMBER Posted by MLLASH on :
MATTER-EATER LAD # 18
PAGE 1
Panel 1
caption: Tartarus; the palace headquarters of the Heroes of Tartarus, or HOTties...
*Drura in foreground, Pan in rear*
Policy Pam: Drura...?
Drura: I'm fine now, Pamela. Truly.
Panel 2
Pam: Then PLEASE come with me to the meeting...
Drura: NO! I can't face them... after I lost control like that, and hurt them all... and allowed the Dozen to escape.
Panel 3
Pam: But everyone understands. It was madness, discovering that the man you loved was someone else using distorter tech.
Drura: How... how is he...?
Panel 4
Pam: Well... he's out of the black zone... still condition red, though...
Dura: I wanted him to die, you know.
Panel 5
Pam: Yes.
Drura: Give me a moment. I'll be down.
Pam: Great!
Panel 6
*As Pam exits, Drura is looking at her private vid-monitor. Clearly visible on it is a LEGION logo*
Drura: Yes. I think it's for everyone's benefit that I accept...
Panel 7
*Drura's finger pressing "SEND"*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 2
Panel 1
*The gang are in a restaurant*
caption: The planet Baskh...
Tenzil: So, exactly how long do we have to wait on this planet before it's safe to leave?
Tiffany: I... I don't know. I foresaw the Westerner's ship, the Setting Sun, being destroyed in a terrible explosion. I'm not sure when...
Panel 2
Lester: So we're stuck on this stupid planet with all these stupid people moping around dressed in their stupid all black jumpsuits because of you stupid belief that you've got psychic powers? Does anyone else think this sounds stupid?
Panel 3
Noyd: Lester, man, calm down. I know you're upset because the attempts to de-fatass you have all been a dismal failure. You don't have to take it out one your sweet sister.
Panel 4
Tiffany: Thanks, Noyd! You're certainly a gentleman!
Panel 5
*Noyd blushes*
Waiter: Here's your food...
Tenzil: Uh, actually, we haven't ordered yet...
Waiter: Oh? You want to order... okay. Most of our customers don't care what they get anymore.
Panel 6
Tenzil: Jillikers! Why is everyone on this planet so mopey and depressed?
Waiter: We just don't have much to live for, since the plague struck.
Panel 7
Taryn: Plague? What do you mean? Our scanners didn't indicate any widespread epidemics on this planet...
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 3
Panel 1
Waiter: The plague's long since passed, though its effects still linger. 2 years ago, our moon collided with a weird radioactive asteroid. Then came the fallout...
Panel 2
Tiffany: Oh, no! Radiation?
Waiter: Yes. It had no effect on adults... but every single person on Baskh under 18-sola years died...
Panel 3
Tiffany: *choke!* How horrible!!!
Lester: Even the rich kids? And the cute guys?
Panel 4
Waiter: ESPECIALLY the rich and cute. They were the first kids to go.
Lester: That IS horrible!
Panel 5
Tenzil: Well, now all the funeral gear makes sense.
Taryn: So, did this radiation sterilize the population or something?
Panel 6
Waiter: No children have been born on Baskh since the plague.
Plant Lad: Sterilization? KEWL! That'll come in handy once I score my record deal on Bismoll!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 4
Panel 1
Waiter: Actually, we're not sure why no kids have been born. As far as our best medical scientists can tell, we are all healthy and should be able to bear children.
Taryn: Strange.
Panel 2
Waiter (leaving): Well, I hope you enjoy your meal.
Tenzil (eating napkin): mmm... quite tasty...
Panel 3
Lester: Wait... he never did take our order!
Tiffany: It's okay, I'm sure this... whatever it is... will be fine.
Panel 4
Taryn: I don't think it's a good idea to stay on this planet if there's some weird radiation sickness or something. We have no idea what kind of effect it will have on us...
Tiffany: But, what about my vision of the Westerner's ship being destroyed?
Panel 5
Tenzil: Jillikers! This is a dilemma! Could we maybe get another ship or something?
Westerner: I've kinda grown accustomed to the Setting Sun, but I reckon I wouldn't mind tradin' it in for a newer model, if that would help...
Panel 6
Tiffany: Well, maybe, but then wouldn't we just be selling someone else a death-trap?
Questar: I, Questar, do not approve of that!
Panel 7
Big Toes: Perhaps it would be sagacious to discover the root cause of the malady inflicting the populace of this world and discern its possible effects on ourselves before departing?
[ September 03, 2004, 06:01 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 5
Panel 1
Tenzil: Big Toes makes a lot of sense... I think. So where do we start? A doctor's office?
Panel 2
Everyone else: NO!
Panel 3
*scene shifts to darkened room with female*
caption: And, watching...
Female: You will come to me, my pretties... come...
Panel 4
Tiffany: Wait a minute! My super-female-intuition is telling me something...!
Lester: Oh, JEEBUS!!!
Panel 5
Tiffany: There's somewhere we have to go-- NOW! We'll get the answers we seek if we do so.
Lester: Great Ergloks! Let's all rush off before we get to eat on my crazy sister's say-so!
Panel 6
*Tiff slams fist onto table*
Tiffany: Are you calling me a liar, Lester? A fraud? GRRRRRRR.... that enrages me...!!!! Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 6
Panel 1
Noyd: Now, keep it cool, babe. We'll just get a carryout box for the eats, and everyone will be happy.
Lester: Hmph.
Panel 2
Tenzil: Look at it this way, Les: we don't have any better ideas on how to solve our problems, so we might as well follow Tiffany's super-intuition.
Panel 3
caption: Soon...
Noyd: Man, this... whatever it is... is kind of tasty! We may have to go back and get the recipe!
Tiffany: We are approaching the entrance to the cave up ahead. I'm certain that's where will find what we're looking for!
Panel 4
Tenzil: Jumpin' fishhooks! It's fairly dark in there! Are you certain that's where we need to go, Tiff?
Tiffany: Yeah, I know what I'm doing.
Panel 5
Lester: This reminds of that stupid Realm of Darkness.
Questar: My super-vision powers allow me to see the way! There appears to be some sort of doorway in the cave wall!
Panel 6
*Questar opens the door to reveal a well-lit chamber!*
Taryn: It's a room inside the cave!
Noyd: Look at that groovy pool! It's beautiful!
Panel 7
*The gang suddenly start de-aging*
Tenzil: Jillikers! What's happening!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 7
*full page slpash featuring the entire gang, who have all de-aged to about 3-4 years old, complete with mini versions of their costumes and stuff* note: Noyd's speech impediemnt is intentional
Tenzil Tot: Waaaah! Me not like this!
Taryn Tot: *pinching Tenz' arm* Awww, you a crybaby!
Li'l Westerner: You am fat! Ha ha ha!
Li'l Lester: You am STUPID! Me am TELLING!!!
Tiffany Tot: Me want ice cream!
Li'l Plant Lad: Tippany, you am pwetty!
Questar Tot: Me, Questar, am confused...
Big Toes Tot: *irritated sigh*
Credits/Title run along the bottom: The Super-Road Trip... of SPACE! Part... Whatever, We lost Count: "AGE ain't nothing but a NUMBER"!!
[ September 04, 2004, 02:42 PM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 8
Panel 1
*Platinum blonde female enters*
Female: Yes! The mists from the special youthening pool worked wonderfully! Now, to present the Baskhians with their new "children"! HAHAHAHAHA!
Panel 2
Female: Come, kids! I'm going to take you somewhere fun!
Lester: Fun? Goody! Me am bored with stupid place!
Panel 3
*Scene changes to an orphanage*
caption: Soon...
Female: Have some toys to play with, kids! Auntie Glorith has some business to attend to!
Taryn: Yay! Me play with dollie!
Panel 4
*Tenzil takes a teddy bear*
Tenzil: Me call him Mr. Jenkies!
Lester: Waaah! Me hungry!
Panel 5
*Big Toes climbs up on the counter and opens the space-cabinet, while Westerner and Questar play space-cowboys with toy laser guns*
Westerner: Pow! Pow! Me shoot you!
Questar: No! Me, Questar, use force shield! Me shoot you dead now!
Panel 6
*Big Toes tosses a box of cereal to Lester, Westerner falls over like he's dead*
Westerner: Me hit! Me dead!
Lester: Yummy!
[ September 04, 2004, 03:04 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 9
Panel 1
*Li'l Big Toes climbs down and takes a seat in the corner, surveying his allies*
Panel 2
*Li'l Big Toes watching*
caption: Obviously, we've all been reduced in age, to approximately 3-4 years. And how interesting that this Glorith woman should appear afterwards. A Rimborian could see through this tissue-thin plot. Unfortunately, my allies' intelligence decreased along with their ages. They are now, quite literally and in every since of the word, children.
Panel 3
Taryn Tot: Tenzil, come play dollies with me!
Tenzil Tot: NOT dollies! Action figures!
Panel 4
Li'l Plant Lad: Tippany, me am going to kiss you!
Tiffany Tot: *tee hee!*
Panel 5
*Li'l Big Toes watching again*
caption: Unfortunately for Glorith, she couldn't know that I have always had my vast intelligence. Time to find out what her nefarious plans are...
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 10
Panel 1
*Li'l Big Toes wanders into the chamber that Glorith has retreated to; Glorith is speaking on a holophone*
Glorith: Yes! That's right! I have eight children, as cute and fun and delightful as you could ask for! And I'm only asking seven billion pollons per head!
Panel 2
Man on Holophone: Seven billion pollons! Why, that's half my fortune! But, I suppose it's worth it to have a child again...
Glorith (noticing Li'l Big Toes): Yes! And here's one of the li'l darlings now! Say "hi" to the nice man on the holophone! He may just be your new daddy!
Panel 3
caption: Perhaps it would be wise to perpetuate her false belief as to my childlike nature...
Li'l Big Toes: Me like him! Him look nice!
Man on holophone: Oh, how I've missed having children! Seven billion pollons is nothing compared to the joy they bring! You've got a deal!
Glorith: I'm glad to be of service!
Panel 4
Glorith (turning off holovid): Now, what exactly are YOU doing in here, you little ruffian! I thought I'd locked all of you in the Nursery! Come!
Panel 5
*Glorith takes Big Toes by the arm and drags him towards the Nursery*
Glorith: Since you DID help me seal the deal, I'm not going to punish you! But I AM going to make sure you don't get out again!
Panel 6
*After pushing Big Toes through the nursery door, Glorith closes it*
Glorith: Now, I'll make sure I input the code to keep the door locked, so the merchandise doesn't escape!
[ September 05, 2004, 08:49 AM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 11
Panel 1
Li'l Big Toes caption: She turned us into children to sell us! And this childless planet can't be blamed for not asking too many questions-- these people certainly must be heartbroken and desperate.
Panel 2
Li'l Questar: Me, Questar, am sleepy.
Li'l Plant Lad: Me sweepy too!
Panel 3
Li'l Big Toes: Perhaps it would be appropriate for you to engage in afternoon repose.
Lil Lester: You talk stupid!
Panel 4
Li'l Big Toes: *sigh* Me am sweepy too! Me going to lie down on soft mat and rest for a bit!
Panel 5
*Questar, Plant Lad, Westerner and Tiffany follow his lead and lie down*
Li'l Big Toes caption: Excellent. This will keep them from harm's way while I contemplate how best to deal with this Glorith woman.
Panel 6
Li'l Big Toes caption: Now, where have Tenzil, Taryn and Lester gotten off to...?
Panel 7
*notices a hole that has been eaten into the wall*
Li'l Big Toes caption: DAMN.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 12
Panel 1
*Big Toes emerges from hole in wall into the back yard of the "orphanage"*
Li'l Big Toes: *Sigh*. I suppose it would have been unrealistically fortuitous for them to have consumed something other than the exterior wall.
Panel 2
Li'l Big Toes: It would be wise to cover this hole up before the rest of my youthened companions decide to go exploring.
Panel 3
*Li'l Big Toes moves some heavy object to block hole*
Panel 4
Li'l Big Toes: That should take care of that.
Panel 5
Li'l Big Toes: Now, to locate the others. And, of course, they seem to have gotten themselves into trouble.
Panel 6
*The owner of a nearby house pops out to see Tenzil eating his space-mailbox!*
House-owner: What's that pesky kid doing? Wait... kid? Marythu! Come see this!
[ September 17, 2004, 08:01 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 13
Panel 1
*woman exits home*
Marythu: Ohhh, LOOK! Children!!! So sweet and adorable! Oh, just LOOK at the cheeks on that little fat kid!
Panel 2
Li'l Big Toes caption: SPROCK! I had hoped to avoid contact with the natives of this planet...!
Panel 3
*woman scoops up Lester in her arms*
Marythu: YOU look like a hugwy widdle guy! Are you hungwy, cutie?
Lester: Me AM hungwy! Nice lady feed li'l Lester?
Panel 4
Marythu *entering home*: Oh, YES! Anything you like!!
Panel 5
Li'l Big Toes caption: Burning embers of hell! This is getting much more complicated than I had planned...
Panel 6
*notices that Tenzil Tot and Taryn Tot have made their way down the entire block, eating mailboxes*
Li'l Big Toes caption: Oh, POOH! I mean... Sprock! Could this age regression be beginning to affect me...?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 14
Panel 1
*Li'l Questar suddenly appears*
Li'l Questar: Me, Questar, come out to play!
Panel 2
Li'l Big Toes: Ah, spit! Questar, we must get the other kids back inside! Before, um, we get in trouble with Auntie Glorith!
Panel 3
Li'l Questar: Me not want to go inside! Me play outside longer!
Panel 4
*Questar takes off running*
Li'l Big Toes: Wait! There's... ice cream!
Panel 5
Li'l Questar: Ice cream? Yummy!
Panel 6
Big Toes: Yes, just 'port Taryn and Tenzil back inside and I'll give you two spacecicles!
Panel 7
Li'l Questar: 'Kay!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 15
Panel 1
*lil Questar is concentrating*
Panel 2
*a hand smacks lil Questar across the panel*
Panel 3
*Lil Big Toes looks up to see an enraged Glorith*
Glorith: WHAT are you BRATS doing out here???
Panel 4
*Lil Big Toes sees to Questar, who is bawling; speaks to Glorith*
Lil Questar: Whaaaaa!!!
Lil Big Toes: You monstrous harridan! Abominable harpy!!
Panel 5
Glorith: "Monstrous...?" It would seem my age-regression powers had no effect on your brain, little boy.
Lil Big Toes: That is correct!
Panel 6
Glorith: Then understand THIS: I'll kill them all without hesitation if you don't assist me in this operation. My age-altering powers can devolve them all to protoplasm with ease. And I WILL do it if forced to. Now...will you obey me?
Panel 7
*lil Big Toes looks defeated*
Lil Big Toes: ....yes....
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 16
Panel 1
*Li'l Tenzil and Taryn are running*
Panel 2
*Li'l Tenzil and Taryn are frozen in their tracks*
Panel 3
Glorith: These two are secure. Now where's that little chubby ruffian?
Li'l Big Toes: He... he went inside that house..
Panel 4
*Glorith begins teleporting everyone*
Glorith: Then we will go get him.
Panel 5
*Inside the house, li'l Lester is enjoying snacks, while the happy couple fawn over him*
Marythu: Isn't he sweet, Georj?
Georj: It's a miracle! A child sent from heaven!
Panel 6
*Marythu and Georj start aging rapidly*
Georj: Marythu, your face...!
Marythu: What's happening to us!
Panel 7
*Marythu and Georj crumble to dust as Glorith and the kids appear*
Glorith: Now, there, these little "miracles" are intended only for the richest families on Baskh. Chubby here belongs to the upper crust!
Li'l Lester: Waaaaggghhh! Me like it here!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 17
Panel 1
caption: shortly, back at the orphanage...
*Glorith and Lil Big Toes speak; the gang can be seen playing in the background*
Glorith: You had best keep a closer watch on your little friends, for their sake. Understood?
Lil Big Toes: You MURDERED that kindly couple! Couldn't you have simply aged them to a point that they couldn't threaten you?
Panel 2
Glorith: That was the plan, but sometimes my powers can be a little unpredictable. Piffle! Why am I even discussing this with you? Don't question me again! Soon I'll have the money I need to buy back my throne on Balduur, and I can leave this mudhole planet in the farthest recesses of my memory. I've planned for so long... I must not fail! I WILL not fail!
Panel 3
Lil Big Toes: Planned... what, exactly?
Panel 4
Glorith: Why, the very scheme you are a part of! Who knew it would take so long for Baskh to get some visitors? I guess no one wants to visit a planet in mourning. Fortunately, your band of travelers stumbled by!
Panel 5
Lil Big Toes: So you came here after the cataclysm that decimated this planet's children? And concocted this ghastly scheme out of sheer greed?
Panel 6
Glorith: *shrugging* Pretty much!
off-panel voice: Enough!
Panel 7
*panel shows Tenz Tot, Taryn Tot, Lil lester, Tiffany Tot, Lil Plant Lad, Lil Westerner and Lil Questar, all battle-ready*
Tenzil Tot: We may be little, but we am NOT stupid! Get Auntie Glorith, gang! She's been BAD!!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 18
Panel 1
*Tenz Tot, Taryn Tot, L'il Lesteer, L'il Plant Lad, L'il Westerner, and L'il Questar all rushing towards Glorith*
Panel 2
*Glorith waves her hand, stopping the kids in mid-rush*
Glorith: Now, children! You're supposed to be behaving for your Auntie Glorith!
Panel 3
Glorith: Bah! If you weren't such valuable commodities, I'd turn you all to protoplasmic slime.
Panel 4
Glorith: Then again, I suppose I could just charge the Baskhians for lifting the spell that's keeping them childless, and then I wouldn't have to worry about you rugrats...
Panel 5
Glorith: ...But I think I prefer this plan. Less chance of them asking the wrong questions and figuring out just who it was that inadvertantly caused that radioactive asteroid to collide with their moon in the first place!
Panel 6
*Li'l Big Toes suddenly leaps on Glorith, knocking her down*
Li'l Big Toes: You witch!
Posted by bIZARRO nO.1 on :
mE AM HATE mel: tHE sERIES SO MUCH. pLEASE DON'T WRITE ANY MORE!
hELLO!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 19
Panel 1
*Lil BT throttling Glorith in rage*
Lil Big Toes: You murdered an entire planet's children! You practically committed genocide, you reprehensible fiend!
Glorith: *uuurkkk!*
Panel 2
Lil Big Toes: You try ANYTHING... and I mean ANYTHING shifty, and I snap your neck! Do you understand me, woman?
Glorith: *ggguh.... guhhh...*
Panel 3
Lil Big Toes: Good. Now listen VERY closely. You will use your power RIGHT NOW to restore my friends and I to our proper ages. The very nanosecond I sense something amiss, my grip tightens on your neck and you DIE. Do you understand, scum?
Glorith: *gguhhh*
Panel 4
Lil Big Toes: THEN DO IT!!
Glorith: *guuuh*
Panel 5
*shows Tenzil, Tiffany and Lester aging*
Panel 6
*the now restored Big Toes is still strangling Glorith*
Lil Big Toes: And now, for the genocide you have committed against the people of Baskh, YOU DIE ANYWAY!!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 20
Panel 1
Tenzil: Big Toes! N0!
Li'l Big Toes: She deserves to pay!
Panel 2
*Suddenly Big Toes is shocked by energy coming from Glorith, releasing his grip on her neck*
Big Toes: Aaaaaarrrggggghhhh!
Panel 3
*Glorith gets up, Big Toes (now fully adult again) lies unconscious on the floor*
Glorith: You fool! You shouldn't have hesitated! Now you DIE!
Panel 4
*Glorith prepares to blast Big Toes*
Panel 5
*The Westerner grabs Glorith from behind*
Westerner: I don't reckon I can let you hurt one of my friends, now can I? Let's just see how tough you are after I absorb yer power...
Panel 6
*Glorith begins to fade away*
Glorith: Bah! This isn't worth the effort any more! But mark my words... if ever our paths cross again, I won't be so merciful!
Panel 7
Tiffany: Is it over? How's Big Toes?
Tenzil: I think he's okay...
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 21
Panel 1
Taryn: Big Toes...?
Big Toes: Dezmund.
Taryn: Huh?
Panel 2
Big Toes: My name... is Dezmund. "Opposable Big Toes Boy" is what the other prisoners of Nardo's stalag called me. A fitting though uninspired name, I suppose.
Panel 3
Taryn: So, ummm... Dezmund... are you... okay?
Dezmund: I must apologize to you all. At times, my passions can get the best of me... and death-- particularly of children--
Panel 4
Lester: Not to mention the rich and cute children!
Dezmund: Indeed.
Panel 5
Plant Lad: So, what now?
Questar: A valid question.
Panel 6
Lester: *real sarcastic* I suppose we should consult the great and wise oracle Tiffany.
Tenzil: Just what I was going to suggest!
Lester: Bah!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 22
*Three panels along the top of the page, with splash panel underneath*
Panel 1
Tenzil: Tiff?
Tiffany: Hold on a second... I *am* getting a vision... apparently the danger to the Setting Sun is passed...
Panel 2
Tenzil: So we can continue on to Bismoll?
Tiffany: No! We've got to go somewhere else first!
Panel 3
Tenzil: Where?
Tiffany: Somewhere called... Tartarus?
Panel 4
*Shows Eve (Saturn Queen) Aries, viewing the gang on a monitor. Her three thought bubbles are positioned underneath the three panels above*
Thought Bubble 1: Tiffany, it is safe to leave the planet in the Westerner's ship.
Thought Bubble 2: You cannot return to Bismoll yet.
Thought Bubble 3: You must go to Tartarus.
BLURB: Next issue... the Super-Road Trip of Space, Part 9! What wacky hijinks ensure when Tenzil & Friends hook up with the Heroes of Tartarus? Let's just say we think you'll find the storyline infectious!
[ September 25, 2004, 03:09 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
MATTER-EATER LAD #19
PAGE 1
Panel 1
caption: The Royal Palace, Tartarus...
Hakk: Well, Wheez, what do you think of the latest gossip about the Queen?
Wheez: You mean the part about her fiance turning out to be an imposter, or her crippling her entire Tartarus Elite Defense Force with her powers?
Panel 2
Hack: Both!
Wheez: Well, Hack, I hear tell her days as Queen are numbered. The League of Scantily-Clad Overendowed Assassins may have put her in power, but they're a fickle bunch. And they aren't too happy with recent events.
Panel 3
Hack: Hmph. I miss ol' Evillo. We haven't had a good banishing to the Realm of Darkness in ages!
Wheez: Wasn't the Queen supposed to be freeing the prisoners in the Realm of Darkness? Whatever happened to that plan?
Panel 4
Hack: Apparently it wasn't as easy as they thought to open a portal there.
Wheez: Bah. I'm bored. Where's those jars full of evil spirits that Evillo used to keep in the throneroom?
Panel 5
Hack: Why, I've been keeping them in my quarters for a special occassion!
Wheez: Well, let's get them. We need to have some fun!
Panel 6
Hack: Why, yes! I think it's our duty as re-animated corpses to liven the place up a bit!
[ September 29, 2004, 09:06 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 2
Panel 1
*the HOTties visit Renkil, who is packing to leave*
caption: Saint Vampirius Hospital...
Drura: ....and, well... I apologize.
Renkil: You have nothing to apologize for.
Panel 2
Drura: Well, really, I shouldn't have almost killed you.
Panel 3
Renkil: Drura. Beautiful Drura. Man, the only way a guy like me would ever get an incredible babe like you is to be someone different. My first visit to Tartarus... back when THE KEM SHOW was still filming... left me a little, umm... unbalanced. I ditched the cameras and took off to Earth. I just kind of wandered around in a waking stupor, unsure of anything, until I met a guy who gave me some advice.
Panel 4
Pam: What was the advice?
Renkil: It... doesn't matter. In my fragile mental state, I twisted the advice around. Bought the distorter, stole Tenzil's identity and went back to Tartarus to regain my dignity. I didn't plan on falling in love with Drura. I didn't plan to adore being a member of the HOTties so much. But I did. For the first time ever, I truly felt... happy. Heh. Funny how I had to be someone else to be happy.
Panel 5
Sugyn: NOT funny, lad. Sad, actually.
Renkil: Yeah, well, there you have it. The story of my life. Sad. Doesn't matter anymore. I'll soon be out of your way.
Panel 6
Chet: Not so fast fast fast fast fast fast.
Spaceopoly Lad: Ummm, Chet... let us handle this, buddy.
Incredible Girl: Renkil, you were an invaluable member of the HOTties. We would like you to stay.
Panel 7
*looks to Drura*
Renkil: Stay...? You all... agreed to that?
Drura: Yes.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 3
BIG SPLASH PANEL
*Shot of the Setting Sun approaching Tartarus*
Voice #1 coming from ship: Well, pardner, you say you been to this here planet before?
Voice #2 coming from ship: Oh, yeah! Their former ruler Evillo tried to assassinate me! Come to think of it, we never did figure out why... but our friend Drura's in charge now! She's awesome!
Voice #3 coming from ship: And *how* is going to this hellhole supposed to help in getting me de-fattassed?
Voice #4 coming from ship: Relax, man. I'm sure your sister knows what she's talking about.
TITLE: SUPER-ROAD TRIP OF SPACE, PART 9: Infectious Grooves!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 4
Panel 1
caption: A hidden chamber, somewhere on Tartarus...
Breasticca: Let this meeting of the League of Overendowed Assassins come to order!
Panel 2
Juggsella: Can't we PLEASE debate my motion to change our name? "Overendowed assassins"? Puh-LEEZE.
Melony: I don't get you. Your name is JUGGSELLA, for Mordru's sake! Maybe you should change THAT first.
Panel 3
Juggsella: Touche', Melony.
Breasticca: That's QUITE enough! You will turn your attention to our special guests...
Panel 4
Breasticca, off panel: ...Azura... Eve... and Thora!
*large-ish panel featuring the 3 ladies*
Thora: I-- Thora of Taltar-- and my allies are honored to be here. We have much to discuss, my sisters...
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 5
Panel 1
Breastica: I... I hope your not still upset over what happened during your last visit, Thora...
Thora: Whatever do you mean? Oh, you aren't talking about how you completely betrayed our agreement that I would be queen once Evillo was deposed, are you? Why, I've completely forgotton about that?
Panel 2
Jugsella: Look, we made a mistake. Queen Drura certainly wasn't what we expected her to be.
Thora: Bah! It doesn't matter! Just remember our goals are linked together now!
Panel 3
Eve (touching her head, all telepath-like): Speaking of linked, I've got a reading on our key players. They've just landed.
Thora: Good. I assume Loy is with them?
Panel 4
Eve: Of course. But I thought it was her father you really wanted?
Thora: He has his purposes. But so does she. And her litte friend Kem!
Panel 5
*Eve looks somewhat worried*
Azura (to Melony): I have seen you fight, Melony! You have a certain fire in you, almost as though you'd been trained in the combat arenas of Femnaz!
Melony: Why thank you, Azura! Coming from a legendary fighter such as yourself, that's quite the complement!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 6
Panel 1
caption: meanwhile, on Taltar...
Panel 1
random female slavedriver: Move your cretinous male feet, slaves, or no dinner tonight!
Evillo: *carrying a stone block* I... don't know... how much more... I can take...
Panel 2
Malefico: Pathetic traitorous stripling! To think the likes of YOU sprung from MY loins...
Panel 3
Evillo: You're not looking so hot there either, Pops. Getting a little worn out?
Panel 4
Malefico: Not for much longer, worm.
Evillo: Oh? And how do you figure that? These Taltaran tramps have us all working like sub-dogs...
Panel 5
Malefico: 5... 4... 3...
Evillo: What's with the countdown, Daddy-o?
Malefico: I learned from my imprisonment in the Realm of Darkness, son... learned to ALWAYS be prepared...
Panel 6
*a flash of light with a decidedly female figure inside*
Malefico: Ah... at last...
Panel 7
Malefico, off-panel: ....Veilmist!
Veilmist: Shall we depart, my liege?
[ October 11, 2004, 07:36 PM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 7
Panel 1
*Tenzil looking straight at the reader*
Tenzil: Yammering Yukatan! I've got to get a better agent! I'm the one whose name is in the title of this comic book, so shouldn't I appear, oh, at least every other page or so? Jillikers!
Panel 2
*shows Tenz and the gang surrounded by a crowd at the Tartarus spaceport, including numerous papparazi*
caption: So, we'd arrived on Tartarus, and I knew I was a big planetary hero and stuff, but even I was a bit shocked at the reception!
Panel 3
onlooker(s): Tenzil! Oooh, there he is! Tenzil!
Reporter: Mr. Kem! Will you answer a few questions?
Panel 4
Tenzil: Umm... I suppose. Make 'em quick, though! And, uh, one at a time!
Panel 5
Reporter #1: Is your engagement to the Queen still on?
Reporter #2: How are you feeling after the Queen's recent attack on you?
Reporter #3: Is it true the Queen's mad because you secretly wed a zombie princess months ago?
Reporter #4: Will you be resigning your position in the Heroes of Tartarus?
Panel 6
*Close up shot on Tenzil looking confused*
Tenzil: *Gulp*
[ October 11, 2004, 10:07 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 8
Panel 1
reporter: Miss Spiffany! How did you feel when you learned your lover was engaged to Drura Sepht?
Tiffany: My lover...? Tenzil, is there something I should know about us...?
Panel 2
reporter: Mister Spiffany! Why are you so fat?
Lester: Shut your stupid face!
Panel 3
reporter: Noyd! Mr. Echad! Did you ever resolve the paternity suits on Simballi?
Plant Lad: Oh, sprock.
Panel 4
Taryn: NO COMMENT! Out of our way! NOW!
Westerner: My kinda gal! Fiesty!
Panel 5
*Taryn shoves through the throng of papparazzi, as the others follow closely behind*
Panel 6
*the gang enters a hover-limo*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 9
Panel 1
Tenzil: Good thing you omnicommed ahead to book this hover-limo for us, Tiffany! We'd never gotten out of that crowd otherwise!
Tiffany: I had a little premonition that we'd need transportation!
Panel 2
Lester: Hmph. Like anyone couldn't figure out that when you land in a major metropolitan city you're going to need a way to get around. At least it's got plenty of room.
Noyd: Yeah, man, you sure need it.
Panel 3
Lester: Hey! It wasn't so long ago you were porked up yourself, space-rocker boy!
Taryn: Guys, calm down. We need to figure out what's going on. Why did those reporters seem to think Tenzil was engaged to Drura?
Panel 4
Tiffany: And why did they think Tenz and I were lovers?
Westerner: Uh, li'l lady, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you two have been linked in the space-tabloids for months.
Panel 5
Taryn: You read the tabloids, Tim-Thee?
Westerner: I reckon a fella's got to keep up on all the celeb gossip, especially when livin' on a frontier world like Sexat!
Panel 6
Tenzil: Dezmund, you've been rather quiet. What's your take on the situation?
Big Toes: It seems apparent that the populace of this world has a certain set of beliefs regarding your activities which do not correspond to your actual activities. Assuming this is not a mass delusion, then the natural conclusion is that someone else has been performing the actions they are attributing to you.
[ October 12, 2004, 08:32 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 10
Panel 1
Tenzil: You mean... an imposter?
Dez: In simple terms.
Panel 2
Taryn: Why would ANYone want to impersonate Tenzil?
Tenzil: Yeah! HEY! Was that an insult?
Panel 3
Taryn: Oh, sweetie... you know I adore you, but... come on. Why would anyone impersonate you?
Panel 4
Westerner: I reckon you might need to be thinking outside the space-box, Miss Taryn.
Questar: "Outside the space-box"?
Panel 5
Westerner: Well shoot yeah! To Miss Taryn, Tenzil ain't nothing special. He's the same ol' fella next door she's known all her life. But the fact is, the guy's big-time famous on Bismoll and Tartarus.
Tenzil: And that all-guy planet too!
Panel 6
Westerner: Ummm... yeah. So, anyway, someone might very well have something to gain from impersonatin' Tenzil.
Plant Lad: Do your powers warn you of anything, Tiffany?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 11
Panel 1
Tiffany (putting her hands to her head all ESPlike and stuff): Let me concentrate... I think I'm getting something... no! I lost it!
Plant Lad: Ah, man! Too bad you haven't mastered control of your powers, yet!
Panel 2
Taryn: Maybe we should ask the driver of the limo if he knows anything about what's going on?
Questar: I, Questar, think this is a wonderful idea! It gives me a chance to employ my superhuman people skills!
Panel 3
Taryn: Superhuman people skills...? I never would've guessed...
Questar (rolling down the window between the driver and passenger area): Excuse me, my good sir...
Panel 4
Zombie Limo Driver (turning head, so that his face can be seen): Yes?
Questar (startled by the fact that the driver is a corpse): Eeeekk!
Panel 5
Tenzil: Jillikers, Questar! Let me talk to him. So, do you recognize me?
Limo Driver: Why yes! You're Tenzil Kem! You're engaged to Queen Drura, though there's been some bad rumors lately... I, of course, don't believe them!
Panel 6
Tenzil: So... um... remind me... when exactly did this engagement take place?
Taryn: Uh, shouldn't the driver be keeping is eyes on the road?
Panel 7
*Shot of the limo hitting something and flipping over*
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 12
Panel 1
caption: Taltar...
Malefico: My divine Veilmist, let us be off!
Evillo: Who is this beauty? And why haven't I met her before?
Panel 2
Malefico: I won her when I murdered her former owner. An interstellar teleporter she is, quite powerful. And you dare presume to know all my secrets? You are a FOOL!
*shot of Evillo diving desperately into the light as Veilmist and Malefico fade out*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 13
Panel 1
*Evillo lands on his face*
Evillo: Ooooofff!
Panel 2
Female slavedriver #1: Up you dog! Thora won't be happy that your father escaped! But before she takes it out on me, I'm going to take it out on you!
Panel 3
*begins to crack whip*
Evillo: Wait... I... I can't go on... I am but a weak male, and can't take this heavy, intensive labor. If only there were something... that could revitalize me...
Panel 4
Female slavedriver: What kind of sick male excuse is this? Up you dog!
Evillo: No, please... I beg of you! I must have a shot from the revitalizer ray that Thora confiscated on Tartarus! It's the only way I can continue...
Panel 5
female slave: Bah! Puny male! I don't want to hear your cretinous excuses any longer! Maka, go retrieve the revitalizing raygun from Thora's throneroom!
Panel 6
caption: Soon...
female slavedriver (blasting Evillo with the revitalizing raygun): You male cur! I'll give you one shot of this, then you will cease your whiny male complaining!
Panel 7
Evillo (showing off his muscles, as his horns start to sprout): Why I'm feeling better already! Let me look at myself in that conveniently placed mirror!
Panel 8
*Evillo blasts mirror with rays from his horns, which reflect back on himself, causing him to start to disappear*
Evillo: Well, that's *my* ticket out of here, silly girl!
female slavedriver: You male dog!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 14
Panel 1
caption: Tartarus... (shEEEsh! what with all the planet-hopping!) The royal palace...
Chet: So, it's official cial cial cial cial cial?
Renkil: I suppose so.
Panel 2
Drura: There's no "suppose" to it. Renkil Kim is an official HOTtie by royal proclomation! "Royal"... Heh! I never get tired of that... *sigh*
Sugyn: Then what's with the wistful sighing, m'lass?
Panel 3
Drura: Well... now would probably be a good time to talk to you all... to tell you...
Incredible Girl: I don't like the sound of this...!
Panel 4
Drura: Really, it isn't bad news!
Pam: Does it have to do with Renkil's new code-name? He'll need a new one, you know, since he isn't all imitating his brother anymore and what have you...
Spaceopoly Lad: Oral Lad!
Brittle Boy: Kid Masticate!
Panel 5
Sugyn: Appetite Boy!
Incredible Girl: Things-Eater Lad!
Chet: The Mucher Muncher Muncher Muncher Muncher Muncher!
Panel 6
Drura: OKAY! It IS bad news!!! Be quiet and let me tell you!
Pam: Oh, Drura...! I knew you'd regret not buying that Insurance insurance.
Panel 7
Drura: Pamela, this doesn't have a THING to do with insurance.
Pam: *gasp!*
Drura: Okay. So being queen of Tartarus has been more fun than a barrell of parakats! Truly! And The HOTties totally space-rawk!
Panel 8
Chet: I think I'm sensing a "but" "but" "but" "but" "but" "but"!
Panel 9
*Hakk & Weez shamble in, all disheveled-like and stuff*
Hakk: My queen! Dreadful news, your royal sickness!
Weez: HORRIBLE news!
Drura: What? What is it?!?
Posted by MLLASH on :
Poo. Now I'll never know what the horrible news was.
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
*choke*
Why has the latest issue of MEL: the series, been late?
I need to know too...
Posted by Belinda Hill on :
Me as well. I don't know if I cope coming to Bit's without my MEL:TS fix Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 15
Panel 1
Hakk: Well, uh, it's like this... we... uh...
Wheez: For Devil's sake, man! Just tell her!
Panel 2
Hakk: Well, we kind of... uh... found this jar that Evillo used to keep evil spirits... and... uh... we were going to immediately bring it to you so you could dispose of it!
Drura: Uh-huh. And what went wrong?
Panel 3
Hakk: Well, Wheez here kind of dropped it...
Wheez: Me? You were the one who was supposed to be watching where we were going!
Panel 4
Drura: Okay, so what exactly happened...
Hakk: Well, it kind of shattered... and the spirits flew off in the direction of the metro area...
Panel 5
Wheez: When there's evil spirits on the loose, we know who to call...
Hakk and Wheez: The HOTties!
Panel 6
Hakk: Yeah, we know you'll go stop 'em, your highness!
Drura: Well, gang, it looks like we have a job to do...
Posted by MLLASH on :
MEL:TS.... lives! YAY!!!
PAGE 16
Panel 1 *lots of wreckage and stuff, with Tenz and the gang thrown about*
Panel 2
Tenzil: *moaaaaan* Oh, my... I think my... everything is broken.
Tiffany: Mine, too...
Panel 3
Taryn: What did we hit?
Lester: It looks like... a hover-bus...
Panel 4
*shot of hover-bus; on side is painted GOLDEN OLDIES GAMBLING SOCIETY*
Panel 5
Questar: NO! We hit a hover-bus full of sweet elderly people!
Panel 6
*panel of Questar being smacked in the face with a cane*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 17
Panel 1
Questar (picking himself up from the ground): Citizen! While I understand your frustration as a result of this unfortunate accident, I must ask that you calm down! Hoverroad Rage is itself no solution...
Panel 2
Old lady (hitting Questar again): Stuff it, sonny! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Panel 3
*Pull back to shot of old people who are attacking and looting the vehicles of people who've stopped because of the accident blocking the hoverlane*
Old man: Come on, Wilma Jean! Let's show these young whippersnappers how difficult things were in our day!
Panel 4
Tenzil: Jumpin' fishhooks! These old folks have gone crazy! Is everyone okay?
Noyd: Tiffany's out cold. I can't tell how bad she's hurt. Tim-Thee?
Panel 5
Westerner: A li'l roughed up, but I reckon it'll take more than that to send me to the big bunkhouse in the sky.
Taryn: Where's Lester?
Panel 6
*Shot of Lester under debris, which Big Toes is pulling off of him*
Big Toes: He's breathing. My calculation revealed that his extra mass helped protect him from much of the shock of the impact.
Panel 7
Tenzil: You're saying his being super-fatassed may have saved him?
Big Toes: Precisely.
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 18
Panel 1
Questar: *struggling with old woman* Now that you've verified that everyone is okay.... HELLLLLLLP!!!
Codger: Kids these days got it easy! We didn't have no hover-buses and hover-limos back in MY day... we had to walk to Ventura barefoot in 10 feet of snow!
Tenzil: I see! That explains why old people always have gnarled feet.
Panel 3
*codger leaps to the attack*
Codger: RRRRRRGH!!!!
Panel 4
*codger bites Tenzil's arm*
Tenzil: YeeeOOOOOwch!
Panel 5
Westerner: This oldsters are swarming over us like merchant space-ants!
Plant Lad: We're done for!
Panel 6
Taryn: Super-strength... is fading... need a respite... to eat something... but no time to do anything... except speak in incomplete sentences...
Questar: *being smacked with cane* OW!!!! Taryn! I just want you to know... OW!!! How much I lo...
Panel 7
off-panel voice: STOP RIGHT THERE!
*scene is the possessed oldsters and Tenz' gang looking 'into camera' in surprise*
Posted by Star Boy on :
Yay! It's been a while since I've checked in on MEL:TS, but I'm glad to see it's as awesome as ever. Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 19
Panel 1
*Renkil is leading the HOTties onto the scene*
Renkil: Desist from your mayhem! So says... THE MUNCHER!
Panel 2
Incredible Girl: I thought you'd decided to go with Appetite Boy?
Renkil: Well, I haven't completely decided...
Panel 3
Codger: More youngsters! Lets kick some patooty!
Fogey: Eh?
Codger: I said... let's kick some patooty!
Fogey: "Kiss uncle's hooty?" That doesn't make any sense!
Panel 4
Old Woman: Stand aside, you old fool! I'll lay the smackdown with my cane!
Fogey: "Lady MacGown"? Who's she?
Panel 5
*Old woman lift her cane to attack Renkil"
Panel 6
*Renkil takes a bite outta the cane as she swings it*
Panel 7
Tenzil: Hey, that's my bro!
Taryn: Renkil? How'd that good-for-nothing end up here?
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 20
Panel 1
Tenzil: Look at him go! He's got his guys kicking old butt! And Drura, too... check it!
Panel 2
Infectious Lass: The elderly are so delciously susceptible to my powers!
oldsters: *huuRRRRlll*
Panel 3
old lady: I hit this punk with my space-walker... and he shattered into a million peices! So confused... can't see...!
Panel 4
Sugyn: *blowing waterspout at oldsters* Let me drown your sorrows, friends! *SPEWWWW!*
Panel 5
*Spaceopoly Lad smacking old man wih game board*
Spaceopoly Lad: This will learn you to play by the rules!
Panel 6
Echo-Chamber Chet: Stand down, sir! I don't want to hurt you hurt you hurt you hurt you hurt you!
fogey: WHAT? You'll have to repeat that, Sonny.
Panel 7
Policy Pam: *talking to a group of oldsters* So you see, it's all very simple. You're gauranteed coverage and cannot be turned down because of your age!
old lady: I'll take 6 policies!
man: 7! 7 for me!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 21
Panel 1
*Hack and Wheez are watching the whole battle on their holo-monitor*
Wheez: Hee Hee! Watch Incredible Girl cause that old guy's wheelchair to back into the other old people!
Hakk: That was a great idea, letting loose those evil spirits on a bus filled with the elderly!
Panel 2
Wheez: Why thanks, Hakk! I thought you were very concincing in telling the Queen it was an accident!
Hakk: Hey! Look at that!
Panel 3
Wheez: This is great! Now that guy who turns into plants is getting in on the action!
Off-Panel Voice: I'm glad to see you two are enjoying the mayhem you've created!
Panel 4
Hakk: Who?
Malefico: Don't you recognize he who is responsible for your re-animated condition?
Wheez: Old King Malefico! It's a pleasure to see you here!
Panel 5
Hakk: So, are you here to overthrow the queen and take back control of Tartarus!
Wheez: Oh, I do hope so! I love revolutions!
Panel 6
Malefico: Why, no, not exactly. I'm just here to pick up a few items I need to pursue a bigger goal.
Wheez: Bigger goal?
Panel 7
Malefico: Yes. Soon I shall rule Bismoll! And then, the Universe!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 22
Panel 1
*smallish panel at top*
off-panel voice: Sounds like you have some big plans, Malefico!
Malefico: What the...!
Panel 2
*large rest-of-page splash, featuring Thora, Azura, Eve and the League of SCOA with an unconscious Veilmist, looking at Malefico threateningly*
Thora: Why don't you share them with us?
Azura: We insist.
Eve: The fool cannot hide his secrets from ME.
Malefico: Curses!
THE SUPER-NEXT ISSUE BLURB... OF SPACE!
All heck breaks lose! Hell, too!
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
YAY! We finished this issue! And in less than two months!
Posted by MLLASH on :
We'll be much faster on the next issue... the *gasp!* FINAL issue of MATTER-EATER LAD: THE SERIES!
Or... is it?
Stay tuned, true believers!
Posted by MLLASH on :
MATTER-EATER LAD # 20
PAGE 1
*splash page action/pose shot featuring the following characters standing around looking all heroic-ey and stuff: Tenzil, Taryn, Lester, Tiffany, Plant Lad, Questar, Westerner, Dezmund, Infectious Lass, Renkil Kem, Echo-Chamber Chet, Policy Pam, Spaceopoly Lad, Incredible Girl, Brittle Boy and Sugyn*
in captions, along borders of picture:
Welcome, gentle readers If you please To a tale full of action Romance and evil sleaze!
Looking for a recap? Well, that's TS for you. You should have bought all the previous issues too!
Suffice it to say That everyone in this scene Gets at least 1 line of dialogue Some even two or three.
Suffering sasquatch! Jumping fishooks! Now I know you wish You had bought all the other MEL:TS books!
Well, at least you made it For the big end-of-series wrapper And I bet you're reading this As you sit on the crapper.
So don't get bent out of shape This ain't no time to throw a fit Just dive into the tale We could ONLY call SUPERSIZE IT!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 2
Panel 1
*Shot pulls back, and there's a lot of unconscious old people lying on the ground near where the gang is standing around looking heroic*
Tenzil: Jillikers, Questar! What'd you do to them?
Questar: I simply utilized my limited telepathic powers to induce positive thoughts in the mind of these poor citizens in order to drive out the evil spirits that had taken control of them.
Panel 2
Taryn: Then why exactly did they all end up comatose?
Questar: I, Questar, am unsure...
Westerner: Well, I don't reckon it's yer fault, pardner...
Panel 3
Renkil: Tenzil!
Tenzil: Renkil... where've you been, bro? Mom's been worried sick about you!
Renkil: Oh, it's a long story...
Panel 4
Lester: I hate to interrupt this lovely family reunion, but...
Renkil: Lester Spiffany?!? Is that you?
Lester: Why, yes, it's me. What's that stupid grin on your face all about?
Renkil: It's just... you've kind of let yourself go since the last time I saw you...
Panel 5
Lester: Phah! I'd almost forgotten I'd been superfatassed! You ne'er-do-well idiot!
Tenzil: Calm down, Les. I don't think Renkil meant any harm...
Panel 6
*shot backs away to Drura and Incredible Girl, who are watching the scene*
Incredible Girl: Are you okay?
Drura: I... I'm not sure.
IG: I'm sure it's got to be weird seeing the man you were engaged to marry and the man you thought you were engaged to marry together...
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 3
Panel 1
Drura: I guess... I guess I really haven't dealt with all this yet. I figured... I figured I wouldn't have to.
IG: "Wouldn't have to"? What do you mean?
Panel 2
Tenzil: *approaching* Drura-cakes!!
Drura: *gasp!*
Panel 3
*Tenzil hugs Drura, Drura looks horrified*
Tenzil: it's so good to see you again after so long!
Drura: yeah... so long...
Panel 4
*Renkil looking at Tenz & Drura, apprehensive*
Panel 5
Drura: *all hesitant and stuff* So long...
Panel 6
Drura: ...since I've seen you too, shades! How's that sweet Mom of yours doing?
Tenzil: Ah, they're all crazy as ever!
Panel 7
*Renkil looks relieved*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 4
Panel 1
caption: Elsewhere...
(*a kitchen*)
Wild Huntsman: Hey! Who drank the last of the milk?
Apollo: It was Stick-With-A-Nail-In-It Kid!
Wild Huntsman: Why, that li'l twerp! When I find him, I'll...
Panel 2
Lotus-Fruit Lass: Calm down, Hunty! What's gotten into you lately?
Wild Huntsman: Oh, I'm just tired of all this sittin' around waitin' for the boss to give us another caper to pull. This is almost as boring as working for Evillo was!
Panel 3
Apollo: Oh, I don't know. I kind of enjoy having plenty of time to relax. I've finally gotten caught up on all my holo-soaps.
Lotus-Fruit Lass: Good for you Apollo! What did you think of the last episode of "General Medicenter"?
Panel 4
Apollo: Well, I...
*an alarm starts buzzing*
Panel 5
(The three of them rushing through a hallway)
Wild Huntsman: Yeah! Finally! Some action!
Panel 6
(A meeting room in which the former members of the Devil's Dozen are assembled)
Stick-With-A-Nail-In-It Kid: So, what's your dad got planned for us this time, Tess?
Two-Face Tess: Well, it's like this...
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 5
MEL:TS EXTRA SPECIAL SPECIAL EXTRA # 1 in a series
HOW TO CO-WRITE A COMIC BOOK
*panels will show steps described*
STEP ONE
Find a co-writer with whom you are comfortable
STEP TWO
Begin co-writing comic book series with co-writer
STEP THREE
When co-writer tosses out an idea that he hasn't discussed with you yet and it throws up a massive writer's block for you, insert an inane page much like this one to stall.
Westerner: And that's how to co-write a comic book, pardner!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 6
Panel 1
Tess: ...and so, that's the plan!
Apollo: Wow! That's a great plan!
Panel 2
LFL (singing): What a plan, what a plan, what a plan, what a very, very, very fine plan!
Panel 3
Wild Huntsman: Hey, is it time to do the Devil's Dozen Diddy?
SWANIIK: Oh, grife. Do you have to do it after every mission briefing?
Wild Hunstman: It's a Devil's Dozen tradition!
Panel 4
WH (singing):
Oh we are the Devil's Dozen And you will not catch us dozin' If your brother we have chosen Or your sister or your cousin
As the target of our mayhem Robbery, assault or killing If there's profit we are willing We are ready and we'll slay 'em
Panel 5
WH (singing, and pointing at SWANIIK, who's outfit bears a remarkable resemblance to the preboot Invisible Kid, headband and all)
Though we might dress like Lyle Norg We are much more full of spite You can check out our website It's Devil's Dozen Dot Org
Panel 6
WH (singing):
There you'll find all of our profiles And our...
Voice from off-panel: Silence!
Panel 7
(Everyone turns to see that Dr. Zan Orbal has entered the room)
LFL: Dr. Orbal!
Tess: Daddy!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 7
Panel 1
*everone seated at a table, eating*
Tenzil: Jillikers, Drura! It sure was swell of you to invite us all to the royal palace off-panel while those subplots were given a couple of pages!
Plant Lad: Huh?
Drura: Oh, zish-zosh! I'm thrilled to have you all here. I have an important announcement...
Panel 2
Echo-Chamber Chet: I'd like to propose a toast a toast a toast a toast a toast!
Panel 3
*shot of everyone else as they collectively groan*
Panel 4
Sugyn: Ah, cheer up, the lot o'ye! Let the little undead dickens say his toast. Be patient!
Panel 5
Drura: But-- my announcement...
Panel 6
Tiffany: *standing up, all dramatc* STOP THE PARTY!! Stop at once! I'm having a psychic prediction thingie again!
Panel 7
Lester: *holding serving knife toward Questar* Be a dear, Reges. Stab me to death, won't you?
Questar: Certainly not!
Panel 8
Tiffany: *in a state, with hands to head* SHUT UP, all of you!
Panel 9
Policy Pam: If she keeps up that attitude, she might need some supplemental health insurance.
Renkil: Maybe we better listen to her.
Posted by Abin Quank on :
Tenzil: Jumping fishhooks! I thought he was just a legend!
Taryn: Uh... Tenz... Don't you remember how Darkseid almost conquered the universe and destroyed the space-time continuum a couple months back? It was all over the holo-news.
Panel 3
Tenz: Well, geez, Taryn. I'm a Senator. I make news; I don't watch it. Duh.
Taryn: Oh, grife. Sometimes I wonder why I ever put up with you.
Panel 4
Tenz: It's because I'm so cute, right?
Taryn: Well, uh, no. Whatever do you mean?
Panel 5
Tenz: Oh, come on. It's the final issue. You can admit that you've always had the hots for me
Taryn: Tenz, I really don't know what you're talking about.
Panel 6
Tenz: You know... like how you risked interstellar war with Thora and stuff, just because you were "worried" about me... or worried about me and Tiffany perhaps?
Taryn: Why... Tenz... I...
Panel 7
Plant Lad: Hey! I hate to break you two lovebirds up, but didn't you hear her? Darkseid's coming!
Tiffany: No, wait... I was wrong. It's not Darkseid... it's... it's...
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 9
Panel 1
*scene has shifted to reveal Eve/Saturn Queen*
Eve: *mentally* That isn't Darkseid, you simple little dolt! It's Thora! Of Taltar! And if you are to be saved, you must act NOW...
off-panel voice: Eve?
Panel 2
Eve: *totally startled* GASP!!
Panel 3
Thora: What were you up to, Eve?
Eve: "Up to"? You sound a bit paranoid, Thora.
Panel 4
Thora: It looked to me like you were in mental contact with someone.
Eve: Nonsense. I merely had a touch of the space-vapors. I'm all better now.
Panel 5
Thora: Good. Because the plan proceeds without error, and now is NOT the time for me to begin to doubt your loyalty.
Eve: I believe you might have a touch of the space-vapors yourself, Thora... you talk so strangely!
Panel 6
Thora: *turning away* Mmm hmm. Now, let us join the others!
Eve: *concerned expression* Fine.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 10
Panel 1
Tiffany: It's... it's... Thora! Of Taltar!
Tenzil: Well, I can see how you'd mistake her for Darkseid. They do look like kind of similar in silhouette!
Panel 2
Taryn: Thora? Oh no! It's all my fault!
Lester: Oh, fiddlesticks! You guys aren't going to take this psychic powers nonsense seriously again, are you? Clearly she heard you guys just now when you were talking about Thora, and that's why she's having a "vision" of her.
Panel 3
Tenzil: Well, I hope you're right, Lester. I sure don't want to tussle with that femizon if I don't have to.
Lester: Pish Posh! I fought more powerful manhating women than her back when I was with the Super-Companions!
Panel 4
Incredible Girl (to Plant Lad): Say, aren't you Noyd Echad? As in Noyd and the Navigators?
Plant Lad: Why, yes!
Incredible Girl: Wow! You probably don't know this, but you're kind of responsible for me discovering my powers!
Panel 5
Plant Lad: Really?
Incredible Girl: Yeah. You see... the first thing I ever reversed the motion of was one of your space-lps. There was this whole rumor that if you played it backwards it proclaimed "Noyd is dead!" and, well, I'm glad it wasn't true.
Panel 6
Plant Lad: Oh, yeah. That whole rumor about my dying started about the time I had my accident which gave me my powers. Say, you know... you're pretty incredible, girl!
Incredible Girl: You know... I get that line a lot.
Posted by Harbinger on :
I MEL:TS
it, it, it
more, more, more!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
quote:Originally posted by Harbinger: more, more, more!
Tell it to Tot Rocket! It's his turn to write!
Posted by Dr. Tot Rocket on :
PAGE 11
Panel 1
*Thora & Eve enter some room or other containing the LoSCOA, Azura, Evillo, Malefico & Veilmist*
Thora: We have returned my friends... and hated foes!
Panel 2
Malefico *in chains*: What have you done to Veilmist, you hag?
Thora: Your powerful little teleporter friend is being kept sedated while we undertake her re-conditioning!
Malefico: "Re-conditioning"?
Thora: Eve?
Panel 3
*Eve lays hands on Veilmists's head*
Panel 4
Eve: It is done. Her loyalty to Malefico no longer exists. She serves US now.
Thora: EXCELLENT!
Panel 5
Malefico: ARRRRGH! Woman, I'll rip the flesh from your bones with my teeth!!
Thora: Perhaps... if you escape your bonds. And you aren't going to be doing THAT, now are you, male slime?
Panel 6
Evillo *also in chains*: BAH! Enough of this posturing! Thora, I demand to know what is going on here!!
Panel 7
Thora: Cretinous male, your demands hold no power over me! Still, I will tell you what is "going on here", as you put it, because it will please me to do so.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 12
Panel 1
Thora: As you well know, my dear King Malefico, the League of Scantily Clad Overendowed Assassins consists of many of the ex-wives and girlfriends of your son, Prince Evillo, all of whom were banished to the Realm of Darkness when he grew weary of them.
Panel 2
Thora: You may wonder why I, Thora of Taltar, alone among his ex-wives, did not merit a similar fate. Well, the truth is, the cretinous male tried. But fortunately, I had a bit of insurance against banishment.
Panel 3
Thora: You see, I had discovered that the royal family of Tartarus had taken an acute interest in the politics of the politics of the planet Bismoll, to the extent that you were hell-bent, if you will pardon the expression, on keeping the Bismollian Senate seat from the province of Littleburg unoccupied, or at least insuring that any occupants did not hold the post for long.
Panel 4
Thora: At the time I didn't know why, but I knew that it must be something important. And I knew that it would be quite inconvenient if the Bismollian government got wind of who was behind the frequent assassinations of their senators.
Panel 5
Thora: Which is why, of course, I instructed my partners Azura and Eve that if anything unfortunate happened to me they should let the Bismollians in one what I had learned.
Panel 6
Thora: Of course, in recent months, I have discovered the truth of what you were after. And I want it for myself. I have already made arrangements to have the scientist, Dr. Loy, delivered to me. And, with your help, I will be able to obtain the item that I need that is hidden in the offices of the Bismollian senate.
[ January 09, 2005, 12:38 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by Dr. Tot Rocket on :
PAGE 13
caption: we interrupt Thora's plot exposition to bring you the following MEL:TS EXTRA SPECIAL SPECIAL EXTRA! # 2 in a series! "SHIRLEY YOU'RE NOT SERIOUS?"
Panel 1
(all panels show a drawing of the various Shirley described)
caption: Lester Spiffany's maid Shirley died after his drunken late-night rampage through the Spiffany kitchen caused a massive explosion!
Panel 2
caption: Tenzil had a maid named Shirley at his deluxe hover-apartment in the sky. She commited suicide after it was revealed that she was a plant by Evillo, placed to murder Tenzil!
Panel 3
caption: Evillo has a zombie maid named Shirley! She is currently awaiting re-reanimation after having her head removed accidentally by Lester.
Panel 4
caption: Shirley is the head space-maid on Legion World. She is still angry about having to clean up the mess Taryn recently made there!
*this will actually be this Shirley's first on-panel appearance!*
Panel 5
*all Shirleys together*
caption: What will the future hold for the Legion of Super-Shirleys? Stay tuned, true believer!!
Panel 6
Lester: HELLO! Can you say "story-padding"?
Tiffany: This page doesn't even COUNT as story-padding. It's more a pointless filler page.
Plant Lad: I warned Lash and Ester not to go to 40 pages! Those crazed fools!!
[ January 09, 2005, 01:29 PM: Message edited by: Dr. Tot Rocket ]
Posted by Queen B on :
Oh Lash and Eryk, have forgotten this lately? Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
It's my fault. I've got to re-read the entire series some time so I can figure out how to tie the whole plot together in the final issue, but I just haven't got to it.
Posted by Queen B on :
In your own time Eryk, just so long as it's soon Posted by Fat Cramer on :
In the meantime, how about putting out some trades? Posted by MLLASH on :
It's my fault too, I kind-of dumped the whole "tying everything together' thing in Eryk's lap, because he's always so good at that.
EDE, I'm willing to help, though-- should we have a PM pow-wow and get this nailed down?
Posted by Cobalt Kid on :
You must! *choke*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Okay, so I'm re-reading the thread tonight, and should get back to moving on it.
Posted by Queen B on :
Hoorah!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 14
Panel 1
Malefico: My help? Woman, you've obviously taken leave of your senses.
Evillo: My father speaks for me as well, ex-wife!
Panel 2
Thora: Who said you would have a choice, cretins? Eve, dear?
Panel 3
*Eve approaches the bound men*
Evillo: NOOO! Keep the mind-witch AWAY from me...!
Eve: A bit of karma for all the times you had evil spirits invade the minds of others, Evillo? I find poetic justice quite delicious.
Panel 4
*Eve using her powers on Malefico & Evillo*
Panel 5
Eve: It is done. They are OURS now.
Panel 6
Azura: I simply adore when a plan comes together!
Thora: As do I! Eve, dispatch Veilmist and the cretinous males to Bismoll, right away! Meanwhile, we and the League of Scantily-Clad Overendowed Assassins shall see to the unfortunate demise of the current queen of Tartarus!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 15
Panel 1
*walking down a dark hallway in the castle*
Hakk: Thank Demonica we slipped out unnoticed when Thora and her allies arrived!
Wheez: We reanimated tend to be overlooked... unless one of the "lifers" wants something done or someone to pin blame on!
Panel 2
Hakk: You realize we could go to the dining hall and warn Queen Drura right now. We could save her!
Wheez: Just because maggots have devoured most of your brain doesn't mean you should be an idiot. The mind-witch has them all in Thora's thrall! Queen Drura is going to perish, and Thora will take over. We would be insane to stand in her way. Let the "lifers" fend for themselves.
Panel 3
Hakk: Well then, you want to go to Flesh Eaters until this brouhaha settles down?
Wheez: Now you're talking smart! Let's go!
Panel 4
Sugyn: THERE ye are! No-good reanimated slackers! Get your worthless tails into the dining hall, there's dinnerware to be collected and washed!
Wheez: B... but, M'Lord Sugyn...
Panel 5
Sugyn: NOW, lads. I'm not the sort who likes to repeat meself.
Panel 6
*Hakk & Wheez, looking sad, turn toward the dining hall*
Wheez: Damnation. And Velvet was performing tonight at Flesh Eaters. *sigh* Stupid "lifer!"
Hakk: I certainly preferred M'Lord Sugyn when he was a member of the Devil's Dozen. Now that he's a good guy, he's got such an attitude!
Sugyn: *off-panel* I heard that!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 16
Panel 1
caption: Good Lord, there's a lot going on this issue... anyhoo, let's catch up with he former Devil's Dozen...
Dr. Orbal: My darling Tess! Are you still maintaining sufficient control of the rampaging demon inside you?
Tess: Yes, daddy! Your serum was totally effective!
Panel 2
Dr. Orbal: My serums are ALWAYS effective... except on myself. *choke!*
Wild Huntsman: Boo Hoo! Now can we cut the pity party short and get down to it, please?
Panel 3
Dr. Orbal: Blunt as always, Huntsman... but you are also right. Time grows short! The winds of change threaten to become a hurricane!
Stick-With-A-Nail-In-It Kid: Creepy!!
Panel 4
Dr. Orbal: Indeed. Now listen closely. I've no great love for our former leige Evillo, as some of you do, but I certainly believe he is the lesser evil between Malefico or Thora and her cohorts. With the device on Bismoll, Evillo merely intended to solidify his rule of Tartarus... but both Malefico and Thora desire no less than absolute control of the entire universe!
Panel 5
Lotus-Fruit Lass: What sort of device would give one the power to control the universe?
Dr. Orbal: No less than a machine... that performs miracles! And it MUST not fall into the wrong hands!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 17
Panel 1
Caption: Meanwhile, in Bismopolis, the capital city of Bismoll...
Panel shows Veilmist, Malefico, and Evillo teleporting into Tenzil's office on Bismoll.
Panel 2
Malefico: Remarkable! Such precision! She's teleported us into the exact office we needed! Now let's grab the Miracle Machine and get it to Mistress Aries!
Evillo: All these years I've known it was here, thinking about what I would do with it if I had it... but giving it to Mistress Aries is such a brilliant idea!
Panel 3
Malefico: I concur! Now, where would I hide an almost infinitely powerful machine if I were a Bismollian politician...
Panel 4
Panel shows the Evillo and Malefico searching the room, as Veilmist looks on...
Panel 5
Evillo: Hmm... what about... in the refrigerator?
Malefico: I never understood why Bismollians have refigerators. It's not as though their food spoils or anything.
Panel 6
Evillo: Eureka!
Malefico: You found it?
Evillo: No, but I found an old book on some Earth mathematician named Archimedes. Wonder what that's doing in here?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 18
Panel 1
Scene switches to the security monitor station inside the Bismollian capital building, where a security officer is omnicomming his superior...
Security Officer: Commander Bek! There appear to be three intruders in the Capital Building. They're in Senator Kem's office...
Commander Bek: I'll inform the Minister of Security...
Panel 2
Bek omnicoms his superior...
Commander Bek: Minister Gil, I've just been informed that three individuals have broken into Senator Kem's office!
Minister Gil: Really? Three? I'll notify the President!
Panel 3
Gil call the Bismollian President...
Minister Gil: Mr. President! I've just been informed that three individuals have apparently broken into Senator Kem's office in the Capital Building!
President: What? You mean three people have gotten past our 8 billion erglok security system? But it was guaranteed that no less than a dozen super-powered criminals would be required to break in! You know what this means, don't you?
Panel 4
Minister Gil: I do indeed, sir.
President: We get our money back! Yay! That should not only pay off the planetary debt, but pay for that new Presidential retreat on Eden Island I've been wanting to build!
Panel 5
Minister Gil: But don't you think we should be a bit worried about the miracle machine, Mr. President?
President: Why? They can't possibly operate it without Loy, and that even with that crazy old coot it never did quite work right!
[ June 19, 2005, 10:09 AM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 19
Panel 1
Caption: Back in Tenzil's office, the royal father and son are frustrated from their search...
Malefico: Perhaps we should've grabbed Loy first? He might know where his machine is kept...
Evillo: Perhaps, let me think about the problem some more...
Panel 2
Evillo sits down at Tenzil's desk and begins to play with his globe...
Evillo: This always helps me to concentrate when I have a problem...
Panel 3
Close up on the globe; Malefico can be seen in the background with a look of realization on his face...
Panel 4
Malefico: That globe!
Evillo: What about it? I've got one exactly like it on my desk in my office!
Panel 5
Malefico: That's just the point. Why would there be a globe of Tartarus on the desk of a Bismollian senator?
Evillo: That is odd! Especially considering Tarturus Globes, Incorporated, is really a front for my smuggling operations. All of these globes come with... secret compartments...
Panel 6
Evillo opens the secret compartment on the globe...
Evillo: Eureka!
Malefico: Not another book!
Evillo: No. This time we've got what we came for.
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 20
Panel 1
caption: Meanwhile, back in the dining area of the Tartaran Royal castle...
Tenzil: Well, it's ABOUT time. We haven't been seen in 10 pages!
Lester: Ummm... huh?
Panel 2
Taryn: Haven't you learned by now not to ask him about his momentary "episodes", Lester?
Westerner: I pert-near dun forgot what-all we was talkin' about...
Dezmund: *a bit irritible* MY ALLIES! Calm yourselves, please. The young lady was trying to warn us of something...
Tiffany: Warn... yes... but it's... too late...
Panel 5
Renkil: Too late?
Infectious Lass: I'm liking this less and less.
Questar: I, Questar, cannot help but wonder what exactly Tiffany's "too late" refers to!
Panel 6
*panel should be bird's eye view directly over dining table, with everyone looking up to see dark (and busty) figures surrounding them from above*
voice from above: It's too late to SAVE yourselves, fools!
[ June 25, 2005, 08:41 AM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 20
Panel 1
Suddenly, the LoSCOA drops down, completely surrounding our heroes...
Tenzil: Hey! It's the League of Scantily-Clad Overendowed Assassins!
Plant Lad: Babes!
Panel 2
Drura: What is the meaning of this? I am your Queen!
Breastica: You are Queen no longer, weak one! Soon you shall be carrion for the three-headed hounds of Tartarus!
Panel 3
Various members of the LOSCOEA quickly overpowers Plant Lad, Spaceopoly Boy, and Echo-Chamber Chet. Questar rises from his seat and flies towards them. Taryn leaps to do battle with two of the assassins...
Taryn: Queen, we could use some help here! Can't you blast them with one of your diseases?
Panel 4
Members of the LOSCOEA overpower the Westerner, Lester Spiffany, and Sugyn. Several pieces of Brittle Boy can be seen. Incredible Girl can be seen reversing the direction of an LOSCOEAer who tries to attack her..
Drura: I'm trying to hit them with everything I have... nothing seems to be working though...
Panel 5
Questar can be seen blasting one of the LOSCOEAers, Incredible Girl clutches over puking...
Tenzil: Drura! Stop! I think you're affecting I.G.!
Panel 6
Tenzil dodges two LOSCOEAers who collide with one another, as Renkil is holding his own against another, one of the LOSCOEAers throws a chair at Questar, who vanishes in a flash...
Tenzil: Jumpin' fishhooks! We can't hold out against these crazy, busty assassins much longer!
[ June 22, 2005, 06:41 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 22 (accounting for two page 20s)
Panel 1
*Hakk and Wheez are clearing the table at the time of the attack; the battle rages on around them*
Hakk: Blasted Sugyn! I knew this would happen!
Wheez: Settle down-- we'll get out of this madness somehow!
Panel 2
*the chair thrown on the previous page smashes into Wheez, shattering him*
Wheez: ArrrRRRrrgh!
Hakk: WHEEZ!! NO!
Panel 3
*Hakk, with fist in air*
Hakk: DAMN YOU, Sugyn! Damn you to the fiery pits below Tartarus! I'll see that you pay for this, if it's the last thing I...
Panel 4
Hakk: ***AWWWPPPPP!***
*scene shows Hakk being blasted by geyser, shatterng his fragile zombie form*
Panel 5
*shows Sugyn, all wet from expelling geyser*
Sugyn: Stupid zombie got in my way!
Panel 6
*Sugyn KO'ed by Assassin*
Sugyn: Urrrgh!
Panel 7
*shows Sugyn collapse to floor, surrounded by the unconscious Spaceopoly Lad, Chet, Lester, Tiffany, Plant Lad, Westerner, Incredible Girl and pieces of Brittle Boy*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 23
Panel 1
*Questar reappears in the the room where Thora, Azura, Eve, and the LOSCOEA were meeting earlier*
Questar: Golly! I must have teleported as an automatic response! But where am I?
Panel 2
*Thora is standing in the room, now alone*
Thora: Halt, cretinous male! I, Thora of Taltar, command you to surrender!
Questar: I, Questar, have heard your name, and that you are a vile villainess! It would be ungentlemanly for me not to warn you that I am a mighty super-hero, with many great powers! I advise you to stand down!
Panel 3
Thora: That's just the kind of condescending chivalry I'd expect from a male dog! I, Thora of Taltar, shall show you no mercy as I remove your vital organs and feed them to the Tartaran devil-hawks!
Questar: Let it be known that I, Questar, tried to avoid conflict on this occasion. But I am left with no choice!
Panel 4
*Questar tries to blast Thora, who leaps over his shot*
Thora: It will take more than that to defeat Thora of Taltar, male-scum!
Questar: I, Questar, am just getting started!
Panel 5
*Thora is on top of Questar, and has him pinned down*
Thora: Ha! I, Thora of Taltar, did not expect this battle to be so easy!
Questar: Ooomf You will soon learn that discounting Questar, hero to millions, is a mistake!
Panel 6
*Thora and Questar locked in combat*
Thora's thoughts: Devils! Even though I, Thora of Taltar, should hate this male dog, there's something about him that makes me want him to win...
Questar's thoughts: Why I am having such strange thoughts about this villainess? I, Questar, only like nice women...
[ June 23, 2005, 02:48 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 24
Panel 1
*Thora slaps Questar*
Thora: Male slime! To think that I, Thora of Taltar, must sully my hands on the likes of you! If only I had my omni-whip... my man punisher!
Panel 2
*Questar slaps Thora*
Questar: But I, Questar, idol of the planet Zentor, have done nothing to earn punishment!
Panel 3
*Thora and Questar locked in struggle*
Thora: Youre a MAN, aren't you? And that is crime ENOUGH!
Questar: And you... you are a woman... a beautiful woman...
Panel 4
*the struggling eases more into mutual rubbing of the arms*
Panel 5
*the mutual rubbing of the arms eases into a passionate embrace!*
Panel 6
*Questar is blasted from behind*
Questar: AAAAIEEE!
Panel 7
*Eve and Azura-- who has a smoking ray-gun in her hand; both are smirking*
Azura: How fortunate that we happened along when we did, sister!
Thora: Errrr--- YES! Fortunate for the cretinous male! I was about to disembowel him!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 25
Tenzil Caption: Suffering Sasquatch! It didn't take long for Lash and Ester to get sidetracked on another subplot, did it? Well, they'll get back to me next page, and reveal how I heroically save the day against the League of Scantily-Clad Overendowed Assassins! However, for now it's time for another EXTRA SPECIAL SPECIAL EXTRA! This #3 in a series, you know!
Panel 1
*Tenzil addressing the reader*
Tenzil: Since this is the last issue of Matter-Eater Lad: The Series, I'd thought I'd use the space to clear up a few unanswered questions from the series...
Panel 2
<Tenzil's Office, in a state of ransack after Malefico and Evillo's visit>
Tenzil: Wowzers! This place is certainly a mess! I'll have to leave a note for Shirley from the Congressional Janitorial Staff. Anyhoo, I was just going to explain that since pretty much anything is food to us Bismollians, we generally store valuables and things we don't want eaten in refigerators! It kind of makes sense by Silver Age Bizarro logic....
Panel 3
Tenzil: Many of you may be wondering what happened to the extra-assed parakat from way back in #1, who was spying on Evillo's henchmen when they were spying on us! Well, as it turns out, just like me and Questar before him, he now has his own reality holovision show! He's a kind of travelling lawyer that goes around to different planets defending those who've been unjustly accused. I wish I'd thought of that gig...
Panel 4
Tenzil: What's the deal with Opposable Big Toes Boy, you ask? I mean, he barely spoke for his first few appearance and then suddenly we reveal that he's actually super-intelligent! Well, as it turns out, Big Toes is actually the agent of some superior extra-dimensional race sent to our dimension for some purpose or other beyond our comprehension! I'm sure glad they did though, because it surprising how often having a guy with four hands comes in... er... handy!
Panel 5
Tenzil: Whatever happened to Dev-Em, and will he ever get his comeuppance for being so creepy towards Lester? Or whatabout Lester and Tiffany's long lost sibling? Or what about Spandex Dexter and his friends From the Realm of Bright Lights and Good Times? Or what about our friends from the Super-Stalag? Stay tuned, loyal readers! These questions and more will be answered, but not until my next series!
Panel 6
Tenzil: So I hope you enjoy the rest of the book, and be sure pick up Twisted Knickers, my first Trade Paperback, when should be coming out very soon!
[ June 24, 2005, 07:46 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 26
Panel 1
caption: Shortly following the TPB plug...
*Renkil, Tenzil, Taryn, Dezmund, Pam and Drura are the only ones still fighting the assassins; they are in a circle, backs to each other, surrounded by the assassins*
Drura: Guys, I'm sorry about this... in hindsight, it probably was a bad idea for me to accept the offer of ruling a planet I knew nothing about.
Renkil: You were a wonderful queen, Drura.
Panel 2
Dezmund: I calculate that this revolt is more likely the result of outside influences rather than an outcry against your rule.
Taryn: An outside influence by whom is the question.
Panel 3
off-panel voice: Let your query be answered, Taryn Loy!
Tenzil: Oh my giddy aunt!
Panel 4
*Thora, Azura, Eve, Veilmist, Evillo, Malefico and Taryn's pop Dr. Loy*
Thora: Excellent work, my League! Thank you for leaving some of the male dogs for me!
Panel 5
*Thora uses ray gun to zap Tenzil, Renkil and Dezmund*
Panel 6
Taryn: Daddy?!? Thora, you WITCH! Kidnapping him was not part of our arrangement! If you've HARMED him...!
Thora: SILENCE! I, Thora of Taltar, grew weary of waiting for you to live up to your end of the agreement we made for Bismoll to avoid war with Taltar! Fortunately, my idiotic former husband and father-in-law delivered unto me the means to get your father's services quite quickly!
Panel 7
Taryn: Daddy'll NEVER help you!
Thora: Thanks to my ally Eve Aries, he has no choice in the matter.
Panel 8
*Thora blasts Drura with the ray*
Pam: Popping paperwork! Drura!
Panel 9
Azura: You shot a woman? I am surprised.
Thora: Thora of Taltar hasn't forgotten when the witch gave me the pain plague! League! You know the plan! Take the subjects to the lab! And to the dungeons with the rest!!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 27
Panel 1
Caption: Meanwhile...
Stick-With-A-Nail-In-It Kid: You know... I've been thinking of changing my name.
Apollo: What's wrong with "Stick With a Nail In it Kid"?
Panel 2
SWANITK: Oh, it's okay. I like being named after my weapon, but I keep thinking I'd sound tougher if I painted it and then used the color in my name. You know... "Black Stick With a Nail In it", or "The Green Stick With a Nail In It" or somethin'...
Panel 3
Two-Faced Tess: You two hush up back there! We're almost to Evillo's castle! How much further, Lotus-Fruit Lass?
Panel 4
Lotus-Fruit Lass: I've only been through these underground tunnels once before, but, as I recall, that trap door up ahead should take us to the castle dungeon...
Panel 5
Wild Huntsman: Let's just hope Degree Damsel managed to unlock it...
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 28
Panel 1
darkness
Panel 2
Half-shot, as if eyes are only half-open; a person in a labcoat can be seen.
Panel 3
full shot of Dr. Loy peering down, holding needles and scary surgery-looking thingies;
Panel 4
Tiffany: *bound to table* NOOOOO! What are you doing to me?!?
Dr. Loy: Relax. I'm done already. With you AND your brother.
Panel 5
Tiffany: *looking over, sees Lester* Lester!
Lester: So glad you could join us, sister.
Panel 6
Tiffany: What is the meaning of this? What have you done to us?
Dr. Loy: Thora wanted to know what supranormal attributes you two possess, if any. My job was to find out if either of you have the metagene, and if so, what powers it granted you.
Panel 7
Tiffany: Oh. Then you are now aware of my psychic powers, my berserker-rage powers and my super-monster-attracting powers.
Dr. Loy: Nonsense. You tested negative for the metagene.
Letser: I KNEW IT!! I KNEW IT!!!
Panel 8
Dr. Loy: *turns to Lester, who is also bound to a stretcher* YOU, however... tested positive.
Lester: What? Bah! I don't have any powers!
Dr. Loy: Incorrect. Your metagene allows you to access a another dimension, a dimension I have named Opulencia Major. This dimension is apparently home to what I call the Lords of Oodles Of Currency. It seems you have a way with money, Lester Spiffany.
Panel 9
Lester: Balderdash! I've been stone cold broke before, like when Daddy cut me off... nearly a peasant!
Dr. Loy: Aah, you see... your ablity to access Opulencia Major is tied in to your mental state. In essence, your powers only work when you are feeling superior!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 29
Panel 1
Lester: What? You're saying that I can access as much money as I want, as long as I'm feeling good about myself! But... bah! How can I ever feel good about myself again when I'm so hideously fat?
Panel 2
Dr. Loy: Oh, actually I've already taken care of that. I just administered a treatment which should reverse the effects of your super-fattening. It should be taking ahold any second now...
Panel 3
<In a flash of light, Lester's body begins to go through odd changes...>
Tiffany: Oh, my!
Panel 4
<Lester, strapped to the stretcher, is suddenly no longer super-fatassed, but still rather pudgy...>
Lester: Great Ergloks! But... I'm still not back to my normal self!
Panel 5
Dr. Loy: That is because my treatment only removed the super-charged fat cells... all fat gained through poor diet and lack of exercise since your super-fatassing still remains!
Lester: Stupid science! What use is it? Now I'm still fat, even if less so, and my pants are too big!
Panel 6
Dr. Loy: I suppose I could let you out of your straps for a moment to tighten your belt...
Lester: That would be fabulous!
Panel 7
Caption: As the temporarily freed Lester tightens his belt buckle, he presses a secret button hidden in it...
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 30
Panel 1
caption: And, on Male Paradise Planet THRANN, headquarters of the Super-Companions....
Shower: OTHAR!! Othar, come at once!!
Othar: let me finish polishing my monocle...
Panel 2
Shower: NO TIME!
*Shower creates a windstorm that blows Othar into the monitor room*
Panel 3
Othar: *all disheveled and mad* Now REALLY, lad. Was that necessary?
Shower: It isn't like your hair got mussed or anything. Now LOOK!!
Panel 4
*shows onscreen emergency call from Lester on super-computer*
Othar: Lester needs us! SOUND THE ALARM!
Panel 5
caption: And shortly, after the Super-Companions have been briefed...
Othar: But perhaps, Dev-Em, you and your... new friend... should remain here.
Dev-Em: Absolutely not. Lester's in danger, and I'm going! And Quake Kid is a full-fedged member of the Companions now, he's going too! Lester's LIFE is more important than his EGO.
Panel 6
Othar: *sigh* Fine then. Mzzgrzz-- how goes it?
Mzzgrzz: Done! I have fashioned an instantaneous interplentary teleportation module out of Splash's old holoporns!
Panel 7
Splash: HEY! Stay out of my stuff!
Mzzgrzz: Quit leaving it lying around.
Panel 8
*the SCs board the device*
Treehugger: Enough with this nonsense! There will be time for holoporn later!
Shadow: Let us be off!
Othar: Dietyspeed, Super-Companions!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 31
Panel 1
caption: Elsewhere...
Dyke Damsel: Berva*, how goes the construction of our giant robotic warrior?
Utility Lass: It's coming along nicely, my dear Smoogi*. Once our great femme-machine is complete, we shall destroy our hated enemies on Thrann!
Editor's Note: Berva and Smoogi are the real names of Utility Lass and Dyke Damsel, members of the Fatal Femmes.
Panel 2
<a weird light starts flashing, and alien writing appears on a screen>
Dyke Damsel: What's this?
Utility Lass: Oh, that's one of Anti-Lad's devices from the future that she uses to spy on the Super-Companions! We must inform her of this news at once!
Panel 3
Utility Lass: Shaggy Lass, fetch Anti-Lad for us!
Shaggy Lass: Rarrgh.
Panel 4
<Outside a door...>
Shaggy Lass: Raaaauuurrggghh!
Anti-Lad: Oh, Shaggy Lass, what is it? Why do you always have to interrupt when Rainbow Girl is massaging my head-crevice?
Panel 5
Shaggy Lass: Raaurrgh!
Anti-Lad: Oh, okay. I'm coming.
Panel 6
<Anti-Lad and Rainbow Girl emerge from the doorway, with Rainbow Girl still putting on her costume...>
[ July 17, 2005, 03:54 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 32
Panel 1
darkness
Panel 2
*half-shot, as if eyes are half-open; a woman in a skimpy neglige' can be glimpsed*
Panel 3
*full shot: Thora in neglige', looking down*
Panel 4
Questar: *facial close-up, looks horrified* GASP!! Wh-- what is going on here?!?
Panel 5
*shot pulls back to reveal a shirtless Questar in bed with Thora sitting beside him*
Thora: Thora of Taltar has been patiently awaiting your return to consciousness, blonde one.
Panel 6
Questar: Wh-- where am I?
Thora: You are in my private quarters.
Panel 7
Questar: Wh-- where are my friends?
Thora: They are being... entertained.
Panel 8
Questar: Wh-- why am I in your private quarters? And naked?
Thora: Do stop that annoying stuttering.
Questar: Wh-- what stuttering?
Panel 9
*Thora smacks Questar's face*
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 33
Panel 1
<Darkness>
Panel 2
<Darkness>
Voice #1: Hey! Where are my pants?
Voice #2: Sorry. I kind of lost control of my powers again.
Panel 3
<Darkness>
Voice #1: *Sigh* Well, we should almost be there...
Panel 4
<darkness>
Voice #3: Ouch!
Voice #1: Sorry, I should've told you to watch your step.
Panel 5
<darkness>
Voice #3: Hey! Where's my arm?
Voice #2: Now that is totally not my fault...
Panel 6
<darkness>
Voice #4: I think this is yours...
Voice #3: Oh, thanks.
Panel 7
<darkness>
Voice #1: Ah... I think I've found it...
Panel 8
<A sudden burst of bright light>
Panel 9
<The reanimated corpses of pantsless Camera Eye Kid, Nudelad, One-Armed Spandex Dexter, Kid Powerless, and various other former denizens of the former Realm of Bright Lights and Good Times can be seen standing in room full of a bunch of machinery and stuff>
[ July 23, 2005, 09:16 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 34
Panel 1
Tenzil: And so, as a veritable legion of characters converge on Evillo's castle, our tale barrels at near-lightspeed towards its action-packed conclusion!
Panel 2
*shot pulls back to reveal the gang chained in the dungeon*
Spaceopoly Lad: Who are you talking to?
Tenzil: The readers! What with 10,000 different heroes and weirdos taking over my own comic, I figured the only way for me to get panel-time was to act as narrator.
Panel 3
Plant Lad: Well, this whole scene is space-whack, man! Why are we al still here when we could have broken out ages ago?
Panel 4
Tenzil: I can't speak for everyone, but I've just been biding time until the Devil's Dozen, Super Companions, Fatal Femmes, Realm of Darknees escapees and whoever else shows up.
Renkil: Damn, bro-- you've gotten even weirder than I remember.
Panel 5
Drura: I guess flakiness runs in the Kem genes, doesn't it, Renkil?
Policy Pam: Come on now, let's not argue amongst ourselves.
Sugyn: That's what we're best at.
Panel 6
Westerner: I'm a mite worried about that Tiffany filly and her fat brother. An' my buddy Questar.
Echo-Chamber Chet: What we need is a plan plan plan plan plan plan plan.
Taryn: Here's your plan...
Panel 7
*Taryn shatters manacles*
Taryn: ...Let's go kick a little ass.
Panel 8
*shows Plant Lad becoming a plant and slipping through bonds*
Plant Lad: I'm down with that!
Panel 9
Tenzil: Just wait a couple more minutes, folks. The script said the former Devil's Dozen are due any second now. Trust me, I'm a senator!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 35
Panel 1
<A horse's hind legs kick in the door of the dungeon>
Panel 2
Wild Huntsman: I'm here to rescue you!
Tenzil: See? I told you!
Panel 3
<Everyone piles out of the dungeon into the hallway>
Tenzil: Hey, look! There's a guy in that cell, too!
Renkil: Wait... I know him! He's that freaky guy I met in the park! The one who feeds the pigeons!
Panel 4
Tenzil: Well, free Pigeon Feeder Lad and bring him along! It's time to kick some femnazi ass!
Panel 5
Myron Marks: I don't really believe in violence as a solution to problems...
Tenzil: Nonsense, Pigeon Feeder Lad! Your flock of trained pigeons may very well be vital to our success! Now come on!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 36
Panel 1
*so, all these folks are racing toward who knows where*
Myron: Actually, I don't have any trained pigeons, and my forte is more in advice-giving, not fighting.
Tenzil: Your super-advice-giving powers are sure to come in handy! Now keep up, Dear Myron!
Panel 2
Myron: "Dear Myron"?
Tenzil: It seems a more appropriate code-name if you don't have an army of trained pigeons and advice-giving is your power!
Panel 3
Myron: But, I don't have any pow...
Renkil: Just ignore him, he's gone a bit batty. So, how the hell did you end up going from the park in Metropolis to a dungeon on Tartarus?
Panel 4
Myron: I might ask you the same question.
Renkil: Touche'.
Panel 5
Taryn: You think we can trust these villains?
Tenzil: I'm certain of it. They want Thora out of the picture and Evillo back on the throne! He's the lesser evil, you see.
Panel 6
Taryn: And how exactly do you know all this?
Tenzil: I told you-- I read the script!
Panel 7
Wild Huntsman: Well, whoop my tail and call me Uncle Funny! If it ain't ole Sugyn-- AKA Kid Sellout!
Tess: The traitor left me in the lurch!
Stick WANII Kid: He betrayed our beloved Evillo!
Degree Damsel: MY beloved Evillo!
Panel 8
Lotus Fruit Lass: We have no time for this. Apollo...?
Apollo: *with aura glowing* You care about Sugyn, my friends. Don't you?
Panel 9
Sugyn: I don't need your protection!
Lotus Fruit Lass: You'd best enjoy it while it lasts, chubs.
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 37
Panel 1
caption: Fasten your seatbelts, gentle readers... we have some plot-hopping to do...
*Eve & Azura on a hovercouch or something*
Eve: So. Azura. You're a queen. I'm a queen as well.
Azura: Queen of stating the facts, eh? Or were you stating the obvious as an opening toward directing a conversation with me somewhere...?
Panel 2
Eve: *looking a bit irritatated* Well, gee. I guess I'll get directly to the point.
Azura: Please do.
Panel 3
Eve: Do you trust Thora? REALLY trust her?
Azura: Do you take me for a simpleton, Eve?
Panel 4
*Thora is smoking a space-cigarette*
Questar: So.
Panel 5
*Thora exhales space-smoke*
Questar: You'll have to give up that vile habit now that we're dating. I, Questar, must insist.
Panel 6
Thora's thought caption: Simpleton.
Panel 7
Dear Myron: So, umm, Wrinkles, was it?
Renkil: Renkil. RINK-ell.
Dear Myron: Oh, you're of Kryptonian descent?
Panel 8
Renkil: Huh?
Dear Myron: Never mind. Umm, so what's the deal with your brother? You must have mentioned me to him, he knew my name and all.
Panel 9
Renkil: Nah, he's just weird and sort-of... like all-knowing sometimes. I think he got weird powers on some radiation planet or something. Or went sterile.
Tenzil: STOP, everyone! Something was supposed to happen right about now, if I recall correctly...
Renkil: See?
Myron: Mmmm Hmmm.
Posted by legionadventureman on :
This has been running since 2003?
I might get eyestrain trying to keep up!
Brian
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 38
Panel 1
Tenzil: If I recall correctly, there's something important about that painting there...
Panel 2
Taryn (to the former Devil's Dozen): Do you guys know what he's talking about?
Lotus-Fruit Lass: Apollo, you were here longer than any of us? Does the painting have any special significance?
Apollo: Not that I know of...
Panel 3
<Tenzil adjusts the painting>
Taryn: Well?
Tenzil: Just a sec...
Panel 4
<Tenzil looks behind the painting, where he finds a button>
Tenzil: Aha!
Panel 5
<Tenzil presses the button>
Panel 6
<Shot of Tenz, Tar, Renkil, and others standing there waiting>
Panel 7
<another shot of them waiting, with Taryn beginning to look annoyed, Renkil backs up to the wall behind them>
Panel 8
<Taryn is looking *really annoyed* as the wall seems to open up behind Renkil>
Panel 9
<Zombie hands reach out and grab Renkil>
Renkil: Aaaaarrrrrrggggghhhh!
[ August 18, 2005, 08:29 PM: Message edited by: Eryk Davis Ester ]
Posted by legionadventureman on :
Is Thriftshop Debutante in reality Karen Berger?
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 39
Panel 1
caption: WARNING: MORE PLOT-HOPPING FOLLOWS; readers with weaker constitutions might want to consider reading ARCHIE'S PAL JUGHEAD instead! You have been warned!
Lester: Well, thanks... that's ever so better.
Dr. Loy: Fine. Now I must refasten your straps until Mistress Eve... Mistress THORA, rather... reviews your tests results.
Panel 2
Lester: But I feel I should pay you for your kindness...
Dr. Loy: Uh Oh...
Panel 3
Lester: Please accept this energy money from planet Korbal...
Dr. Loy: AAAAIIIIEE! *amidst krackling sound effect*
Panel 4
Quake Kid: Are we there yet...?
Mzzgrzz: Indeed. Tartarus ho.
Panel 5
Shower: Dag!! It's hotter than Buff Beach here!
Splash: Buff Beach? How would you know about...?
Shadow: Quiet, Splash! There lies the castle of the former Prince Evillo!
Panel 6
Dev-Em: I'll lead the way! You guys back me up. We've got to save Lester!
Quake Kid: Do you have to sound so gung-ho about it?
Treehugger: Can everyone please stop saying "ho"?
Panel 7
Anti-Lad: Excellent, Utility Girl! We have arrived mere solar-meters behind our male rivals!
Utility Girl: And that was without time to calculate our coordiantes!
Panel 8
Shaggy Lass: RAUUUUURRRRGH!
Rainbow Girl: Shaggy Lass is right! Let's stop patting each other's backs and destroy the male fools!
Panel 9
Dyke Damsel: Well, I don't see the harm in back-patting...
Shaggy Lass: SHRAAAAAAAAAGH!!!
Dyke Damsel: WHATever, be a downer then. Let's go, girls!
Posted by legionadventureman on :
LASH, i spent the last two days getting acquainted with your ongoing series. I liked the Dr. Mayavale sequence and gives me a feel for the character, even though i never read the Legion issue that had his first (and supposedly) last appearence.
Speaking of last appearences, you can't really be thinking of ending MEL: The Series!!! How will i get by without knowing if Lester and De-Vem will finally get together and live happily ever after???? Ahhhh!!!
Too bad you couldnt fit Captain Frake or Charma into the growing ranks of Thora's foot soldiers. It was a darn good journey!!!
Brian
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 40
Panel 1
Tenzil: Jumping fishhooks! It's the inhabitants of the Realm of Bright Lights and Good Times! But you all look... weird...
Chet: They look fine to me me me
Panel 2
Dexter: Let me impart to you our tragic tale... as you know, for many years Prince Evillo would send people who displeased him, including his father King Malefico and ex-wives, now known as the League of Scantily-Clad Overendowed Assassins, to the Realm of Darkness for punishment...
Panel 3
Dexter: Over the years, those of us who had been banished to that infernal realm developed our own unique culture, as well as making vast improvements to it, turning it into a mini-paradise...
Panel 4
Dexter: This all changed with King Malefico utilized drained all of the power from the Netherrealms to teleport himself, you and your friends, and Evillo's ex-wives back to the surface of Tartarus...
Panel 5
Dexter: The power drain was so massive, that it affected living things as well as machinery, killing most of the other inhabitants of the realm instantly, and those who didn't die right away soon perished.
Panel 6
Dexter: This was the state of things when Prince Evillo found us, after banishing himself to the Realm as a way of escaping the clutches of his ex-wife Thora...
Panel 7
Dexter: Evillo found all of our bodies, and re-animated us to form an army to use against Thora and her League. While we hated Evillo for banishing us to the Realm of Darkness, we hated Malefico and the Scantily-Clad Assassins even more for killing us! He then used a secret passage to leave the Netherrealms, and told us to wait for his signal.
Panel 8
Dexter: When said signal never came, we decided to try to duplicate the method which he used to return to the surface. We believed we were on the right passage, but came to a panel which we couldn't get open...
Panel 9
Dexter: Then, for some inexplicable reason, it suddenly opened! And here we are!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 41
Panel 1
Policy Pam: Poppin' plot exposition!
Tenzil: So, you are willing to assist us in defeating the enemies of Evillo?
Panel 2
zombie Nudelad: MORE than willing.
zombie Dexter: Of course, what happens afterwards... remains to be seen.
Panel 3
Lotus Fruit Lass: Vague threats, eh? I believe we of the Devil's Dozen will be enough to protect the glorious Evillo from you rejects.
Infectious Lass: Then if we're all on the same page- at the moment-- can we PLEASE get on with it?
Panel 4
Tenzil: Dru's right, gang-- let's get to coup-in'!
off panel scream: AIIIIIEEEE!
Taryn: That sounded like.... NO!
Panel 5
*Taryn pushes herself ahead of the others towards the scream*
Panel 6
*enters the room with a shocked expression*
Taryn: DADDY! Lester? You're... not nearly as fat!
Panel 7
Lester: Bah! Save your backhanded compliments for someone who gives a damn. Lester Spiffany is feeling good. Lester Spiffany is going to kick someone's ASS, just like he did this moron.
Taryn: That MORON is my FATHER, you putz!
Panel 8
Lester: *making quote-marks with fingers, looking all saracastic* Well, your FATHER dared conduct experiments on Spiffanys, and has paid the price for his folly. He was no match for the awesome powers of Lester Spiffany!
Taryn: "Powers"?
Panel 9
Lester: You heard me! Now make the old peasant comfortable if you must, but get out of my way!
Tiffany: And Taryn, could you be a dear and release me?
Taryn: Tiffany?!?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 42
Panel 1
<As Taryn frees Tiffany, Big Toes checks out Taryn's dad.>
Big Toes: It appears as though your father is not significantly harmed. He should make a speedy and full recovery.
Panel 2
Taryn: Thank goodness! Now, what happened here?
Tiffany: Well, Lester and I woke up here, and your dad told us he had made an examination of our genetic structure, testng for a meta-gene.
Panel 3
Tenzil: Why would Thora single the two of you out? That's odd...
Tiffany: I don't know...
Panel 4
Westerner: Well, li'l lady, do your psychic powers tell you anything about it?
Taryn: That's just the thing. Apparently I don't have...
Panel 5
<Shaggy Lass comes crashing through the wall>
Panel 6
<Treehugger's limbs extend to bring him to bring him through the hole in the wall as well>
Treehugger: Take that, you vile creature!
Panel 7
Lester: Bobb Barker?
Treehugger, Lester Spiffany! You're okay!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 43
Panel 1
*as the rest of the FFemmes and Super-C's pile in*
Lester: *choke!* Dev-Em! And that buttcrack-headed chick!
Anti-Lad: That's Anti-Lad, you male fool!
Panel 2
Lester: Great, just great! So Thora's enlisted the aid of you man-haters as well?
Dyke Damsel: Thora??!?!
Anti-Lad: I HATE Thora! She sickens me with her desire to enslave males to fulfill her every whim! She claims to be strong, but she's weak! Weak, weak, WEAK!!!
Panel 3
Incredible Girl: Is she channeling Chet?
Rainbow Girl: We only came here because our arch-enemies the Super-ompanions left the protection of that disgusting planet Thrann.
Panel 4
Taryn: Back off, girlie. Thrann's a lot of fun!
Shaggy Lass: GRAAAAAAAAGH!
Utility Girl: You'd better back off, if ou want to keep your pretty face intact!
Tenzil: Now, ladies, I think we should all listen to the super-advice-giving of Dear Myron! Myron?
Panel 7
*all heads turn to Myron, who looks horrified*
Dear Myron: **ulp!**
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 44
Panel 1
Myron: Well, at times like these, I like to sing one of my favorite songs...
Panel 2
<Myron suddenly has a top hat and cane, over the next few panels he can be seen singing to various characters>
Myron (singing): You've got to accentuate the positive/Eliminate the negative...
Panel 3
Myron (singing): Latch on to the affirmative/Don't mess with Mister In-Between
Panel 4
Myron (singing): You've got to spread joy up to the maximum/Bring gloom down to the minimum
Panel 5
Myron (singing): Have faith or pandemonium/Liable to walk upon the scene
Panel 6
Myron (singing): To illustrate his last remark/Jo Nah in the space whale, No Ah...
Panel 7
<an explosion!>
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 45
Panel 1
*Tenzil and whoever in background as Eve Ares runs by, laser fire chasing her*
Eve: Gangway!
Panel 2
*Tenzil and whoever in background as Azura runs by, firing laser blaster*
Azura: I FELT you, Eve! You were in my mind! I felt you trying to take hold! Little did you know that my space-tiara is more than a fashionable, expensive accesory! It is designed to provide protection from Titanians!
Panel 3
*Eve backed up against a wall, beside a door*
Eve: Well, Azura... you caught me, alright. You were one up on me...
Azura: *her arm can be seen, holding blaster toward Eve* The ruler of Femnaz is no idiot!
Panel 4
Eve: ...But you didn't know that I was three up on you!
*Veilmist, Evillo and Malefico come through door*
Panel 5
*Veilmist and Azura vanish*
Eve: *to Evillo & Malefico* I just adore that Veilmist!
Panel 6
*Veilmist returns, alone*
Eve: What took you so long?
Veilmist: Interstellar teleportation to a world the distance of Femnaz requires many nanoseconds.
Eve: Darling, I was kidding. *sigh* Having one's mind controlled always did damage the sense of humour...
Panel 7
*Tenzil and the huge gang arrive*
Tenzil: You! You're in league with Thora and Evillo?
Eve: Tenzil Kem... you unspeakably handsome devil!
Tenzil: Yeah, so, what about it?
Eve: Surely you'll let a girl explain herself, won't you?
Posted by legionadventureman on :
Pausing a minute to interject an "editorial" comment: Wasnt Big-Toes called Dezmund a few pages back?
Brian
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
Yes, Dezmund is the real name of the interdimensional super-being known as Opposable Big Toes Boy.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 46
Panel One:
Taryn: Explain yourself... or distract us while you use your mental powers to take control of our minds?
Eve: Wait... I've got no intention of enslaving all of you...
Panel Two:
Mzzgrzz: Never fear! Watch as Mzzgrzz the Magnificent uses his mighty "mind over matter" power to fashion these Lurium mind-helmets out of assorted rusty chains! They should protect us from her mental abilities!
Tenz: Hey... I was hoping to have some of those rusty chains for dinner...
Panel Three:
Taryn: Okay, but how do we know that she didn't just make you think you were creating Lurium mind-helmets, when in fact you were making useless props?
Panel Four:
Big Toes: Millenia of evolution have gifted my race's brains with a significant degree of resistance to mind tampering of any sort. I have detected no pertubations that would indicate mental interference...
Panel Five:
Taryn: But how do you know she isn't just making you think you haven't detected any mental interference?
Tenzil: Jumping fishhooks, Taryn! Can't you see we need her to advance the plot so that we can get to the end of this super-mega-sized final issue blowout issue? Just let her speak, toots!
Panel Six:
Taryn: Do NOT call me "toots", Kem!
Tenzil: Aww... that's my girl!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 47
Panel 1
Eve: LISTEN TO ME! Okay, so Thora, ambassador/ruler of Taltar, contacted me, future queen of Titan and Azura, Queen of Femnaz, about establishing a huge conquering force and taking over the universe and enslaving all men and stuff. She also contacted Glorith, then-ruler of Balduur to join up. The idea sounded great and all at first, but then I realized that I kinda like men, and don't really want to enslave them and whatnot. But I was kind-of in deep by then. So anyhoo, Glorith accidentally got put out of the picture when she lost control of Balduur, but I still had to deal with Thora and Azura. Thora revealed that her first strike would be against Tartarus, where she planned to learn the secret Evillo was keeping-- a secret that had the potential to virtually hand her the universe on a silver space-platter! A secret that also involved planet Bismoll!
Panel 2
Tenzil *to Taryn, whispering*: Look how small her head was in that panel because of all the dialogue!
Taryn: What?
Panel 3
Eve: So, long story a smidge shorter, I planted suggestions into Tiffany's head to get you all here once I realized everything was about to come to a head. Thora had to be stopped but I wanted all the help I could get in doing it. I also had you make that little side-trip to prevent Glorith from getting the credits she would need to buy back her throne on Baaldur. It kept her out of the way, plus she's a child-killer, so, I didn't think you would mind. I've got mental control of Evillo, Malefico, Veilmist and the League of Scantily-Clad Overendowed Vixens. But I swear, I had nothing to do with the team of gay guys, the lesbians and the zombies! Or that advice-giving man. They all just showed up.
Panel 4
Tenzil (to Lester): Did you see her teeny head?
Lester: Ssssh!
Panel 5
Eve: So this is it-- we MUST prevent Thora from using the Miracle Machine to take the universe! That device is too dangerous to be used at all, if you ask me!
Panel 6
Dr. Loy *staggering in*: Dangerous? Space-balderdash! The Miracle Machine loses power after each usage. It might be powerful enough now to create a chili recipe that turns young men into elderly old women, but that's probably about it.
Panel 7
Tenzil: Well, who can't do THAT?
Eve: So, you're saying this was all for nothin--
Panel 8
Thora: SILENCE, FOOLS!
Panel 9
Thora *an unconscious Questar wearing only a pair of frilly panties is held under one of her arms*: Or this cretinous male DIES!
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 48
Panel 1
Taryn: Reges!
Panel 2
Lester: Great Ergloks! What has she done to him?
Panel 3
Shower: Splash, don’t you have frilly underwear just like that?
Panel 4
Splash: *Gulp!*
Panel 5
Thora: I said, "SILENCE, FOOLS!" Now, hand over the Miracle Machine!
Panel 6
Anti-Lad: No! We can't let her have it! Let her kill the silly male!
Panel 7
Myron: At times like this, I like to remember what Braino of Mrynah once said...
Panel 8
Dexter: Nass! I dropped my arm again!
Panel 9
Lotus-Fruit Lass: Maybe we should just give it to her…
Panel 10
Shaggy Lass: Rrraaaaauuuurggghhhhh!
Panel 11
Sugyn: What do you think, my queen?
Panel 12
Drura: I… I just don’t know…
Panel 13
Plant Lad: Man, did Questar score with that chick?
Panel 14
Incredible Girl: Incredible!
Panel 15
Tenzil: I guess it’s your call Eve…
Panel 16
Eve: Well then…
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 49
Panel 1
EPILOGUE THE FIRST
caption: Tartarus Spaceport, Three Days Later...
Tenzil: So. The Legion, huh?
Drura: Yeah. Well, not exactly, but... yeah, Legion cadet.
Panel 2
Tenzil: Pretty awesome.
Drura: Well, it was either they accepted me into their cadet program or I give them all the Rimborian nerve-shakes. Heh heh. You should have seen the HOTties' faces, when I was finally able to get a word in edgewise and tell them I was accepted!
Panel 3
Tenzil: No, I mean you're pretty awesome.
Panel 4
*Drura and Tenzil hug*
Panel 5
Drura: Now you be sure to tell your Mother I love her. And tell your Dad to treat her right! And tell Renkil... well, tell him to lead the HOTties wisely.
Panel 6
Tenzil: Renkil and wisely? Two words I never would have used together before.
Drura: Just tell him!
Panel 7
Tenzil: I will, I will.
Drura: So... Lester and Tiffany made it back safely?
Panel 8
Tenzil: Yeah, back to the Spiffany homestead.
Drura: And Taryn got her Dad back home safely?
Tenzil: Yeah, we're no longer banned from Bismoll, thank Hannah.
Panel 9
Drura: You were sweet to stick around and make sure everything was settled, and everyone was... where they needed to be or going where they wanted to go.
Tenzil: It was the least I could do. I mean, I kinda felt responsible for all of them in a way. And after what happened... well, you know.
Drura: Yeah.
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 50
EPILOGUE THE SECOND
Panel 1
Caption: Ventura, The Gambler's Planet...
Incredible Girl: I can't believe we really got married, Noyd!
Panel 2
Noyd: Right now, babe, I feel like the luckiest man in the world!
Panel 3
Doorman at Casino: Maybe you'd like to try your luck in here, my good man!
Panel 4
Noyd: Shall we?
Incredible Girl: Why not? This is a night to take chances, darling.
Panel 5
*inside casino, IG and PL are amazed by the grandeur*
Noyd: Wow! Get a load of this place!
Casino Employee: Mr. Echad! Certainly a celebrity such as yourself would prefer to take of the V.I.S.* room?
*Editor's Note: V.I.S. = Very Important Sentient.
Panel 6
*Noyd and IG enter the V.I.S. room*
Panel 7
*someone clubs Noyd from behind*
IG: Noyd!
Panel 8
*A very attractive, dark-haired young woman wearing a Bgztlr touchstone stands there, gun in hand*
Woman: It'll be okay, darling. We just need you to come with us.
Panel 9
IG: *Gasp*!
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 51
Panel 1
EPILOGUE THE THIRD
caption: Taltar, mansion of Ambassador Thora...
Thora *to vidphone image of Azura*: Oh, lighten up already.
Azura: "Lighten up"? Thora, are you even hearing yourself?
Panel 2
*shot pulls back to reveal Questar giving Thora a pedicure/foot massage*
Thora: All I'm hearing is you, Negative Nancy. Oooh! Reges, be a dear. Do that some more.
Thora: Oh, Eve-schmeeve. You know Taltarians are naturally immune to Titanian telepathy.
Panel 4
Azura: Naturally resistant, NOT immune. For the love of Hannah, Thora-- you don't even realize that you're a completely different person now!
Thora: Reges, darling... be a dove and fetch me a soda. With two cubes of ice and a lotus fruit slice, as thin as you can get it.
Questar: Yes, dear.
Panel 5
caption: And once the Idol of Planet Zentor has left the room...
Thora: You listen and listen well, Azura. I allowed Eve to think she had control of me. What else was I to do with more than two dozen meta-sentients staring me in the face, a KRYPTONIAN among them? Much like the gambler in the ancient twentieth century tune by that overweight bearded male, Thora of Taltar knows when to hold tham and knows when to fold them. There will be other opportunities. And in the meanwhile, I have a comely, well-muscled planetary champion who desires nothing more than to please me.
Panel 6
Azura: I... I cannot believe this...!
Thora: Believe it. Goodbye. And don't contact me again. I'll contact you.
Panel 7
*Thora turning off vidscreen*
Questar: Your soda, dear.
Thora: Mmmm. Reges, love... be a doll and carry me to my office.
Questar: My pleasure, dear.
[ October 30, 2005, 11:25 AM: Message edited by: MLLASH ]
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 52
EPILOGUE THE FOURTH
Panel 1
Caption: The planet Sexat...
The Westerner: And so, Jo-Bob, I keep this lock o' hair here in my Fort o' Solitude as a reminder of the beautiful woman from the stars and the fantastic space-adventure we had together!
Panel 2
Jo-Bob: You say her name was Taryn?
Westerner: Yup.
Panel 3
Jo-Bob: You reckon you'll ever see her again, Westerner?
Westerner: Maybe. Right now I'm content to stay right here on good ol' Sexat!
Panel 4
*A figurine begins glowing*
Jo-Bob: Jumpin' gila monsters! What's that?
Westerner: That glowin' totem indicates Sheriff Quale is tryin' to get aholt o' me!
Panel 5
Caption: The Westerner activates his closed-circuit viewscreen to contact Sheriff Quale!
Sheriff Quale: Westerner! The Tambourine Kid and his gang are causin' a ruckuss in the South Territory! You up fer helpin' out?
Panel 6
Westerner: Wild space-rattlers couldn't keep me away, Sheriff!
Posted by MLLASH on :
Mzzgrzz: What's so special about Quake Kid anyway? I mean, he's no cuter than any of Dev's other old boyfriends. Why's Dev so nuts for him?
Shadow: C'mon, Mzzy. Shannen's the only one that's ever treated Dev like crap.
Panel 3
Splash: *glaring at Shower* Yeah, and some of us can't help but love the ones who treat us like crap.
Shower: *rolling eyes* Oh, don't you start.
Panel 4
Dev-Em: ...STILL can't believe you hit on Lester. MY ex Lester.
Quake Kid: Oh, get over it. He's cute for a pudgy guy.
Panel 5
Dev-Em: And how do you explain that albino girl? You couldn't wait to paw on her after Lester told you to frag off.
Quake Kid: What's to explain? Man, she was totally exotic. Those antennae were just a major turn-on. She didn't like me, though.
Panel 6
Dev-Em: And that Zombie thing? Spandex Dexter, or whatever his name was. That was just GROSS, Shannen.
Quake Kid: Says you, dude. Dex was like, TOTALLY hot, for a zombie. Kinda brittle, but still a cutie.
Panel 7
Dev-Em: Speaking of brittle, I noticed you eyeing that Brittle Boy, too.
Quake Kid: Oh, Hannah H.! Give it a REST, will you?
Posted by Eryk Davis Ester on :
PAGE 54
Panel 1
EPILOGUE THE DEVIL'S HALF-DOZENTH!
Caption: The Interplanetary Bank...
SWANIIK: Empty out the vaults, or face the wrath of The Orange Stick With a Nail In It!
Apollo: My, my, comrade! Such aggression... perhaps these handsome fellows would respond better if we asked them nicely...
Panel 2
Guards: We'll do whatever you say, Apollo...
Panel 3
Two-Faced Tess: Just take the most valuable stuff... like the Needle Money of Sirius and Glass Coins of Alkoz. The Rojun living crystals are almost worthless by the time you feed 'em, so let's just leave them...
Panel 4
Wild Huntsman: Hurry up! Degree Damsel won't be able to keep those Beast Guards distracted for long!
Apollo: Almost done...
Panel 5
*Jigsaw Beast crashes through the window*
Tess: Here they come...
Wild Huntsman: Evillo... get us out of here...
Panel 6
*Veilmist teleports in there*
Panel 7
*Veilmist teleports the Devil's Dozen and their loot out*
Posted by MLLASH on :
PAGE 55
Panel 1
EPILOGUE THE LUCKY SEVENTH
caption: Titan, royal palace...
*Eve is sitting in darkness*
caption: I suppose that could have gone worse.
Panel 2
*more Eve in darkness*
caption: Things just went totally out of control. WAY too many players involved.
Panel 3
*more Eve in darkness*
caption: Besides, I got what I really wanted anyway, thanks to my hypnosis powers.
Panel 4
*more Eve in darkness, but it becomes apparent that she is stroking the Miracle Machine*
caption: And once I figure out what made you tick, well...
Panel 5
*Eve in darkness, laughing ominously*
NEXT ISSUE:
THERE AIN'T ONE!
BUT KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED FOR THE COMIC WE COULD ONLY CALL... MELatLoSH:TS (FOR SHORT) # 1!!
MORE ACTION, ADVENTURE, WEIRD SEX STUFF and BAD COMEDY!
Posted by MLLASH on :
![[Cool]](cool.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[LesterSpiffany]](graemlins/LesterSpiffany.gif)
![[CalorieQueen]](graemlins/CalorieQueen.gif)
![[MatterEaterLad]](graemlins/MatterEaterLad.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Sugyn]](graemlins/Sugyn.gif)
![[Hug]](graemlins/hug.gif)
![[ROTFLMAO]](graemlins/rotflmao.gif)
![[Love]](graemlins/love.gif)
MEL:TS![[Bump]](graemlins/bump.gif)
to reread, refer to and make "TPB"s of!