The obvious choices are, the girls from the Fall Guy…
Heather Thomas (Jody Banks), Markie Post (Terri Michaels), JoAnn Pflug (Samantha “Big” Jack) or Nedra Volz (Pearl Sperling )
Or one of Charlie’s Angels…
Farrah Fawcett (Jill Monroe), Jaclyn Smith (Kelly Garrett), Kate Jackson (Sabrina Duncan), Cheryl Ladd (Kris Monroe), Shelly Hack (Tiffany Wells) or Tanya Roberts (Julie Rogers)
Or some off the wall Spy Chick… Stephanie Powers (April Dancer, the Girl from Uncle), Jennifer Gardiner (Sidney Bristow, Alias), Catherine Bell (Major Sara MacKensie, JAG) or Barbra Feldon (Agent 99).
But knowing your sense of humor! I’m gonna go out on a limb here and pull out the SEXIEST CHARACTER ever to appear in one of these stories!
Trixie, the Extremely Flexible Pixie!
-------------------- Just an Old, Broke-Down, Drunk, Bum!!
With a Power Ring...
From: Westerly Rhode Island | Registered: Aug 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Good call with the Angels. But not correct. They were on the list of possibilities (the originals – never watched the latter day ones).
Emma Peel and Purdey from the Avengers were also options. Mmmmmmm.
Very good call with Trixie – but she’s away searching the universe with daddy, as I recall. However, she may make an appearance later on……. If you’re lucky.
“You daft gits! It’s a trap!” said Officer Stacy Sheridan. “They’ve killed my dad, Vince, and various other people that perhaps only Abin Quank will ever have heard of. But I’ve got no idea where Thomas Jefferson has got to.”
“That Vince always struck me as being a bit of a Zmed-head!” muttered Numf to himself.
“Well, last time I saw him Darkseid had given him £20 to go and buy himself a girdle,” said Harbi.
“Hey, just a second – has anyone noticed that Hunt, Joe and Betty have all vanished?” asked Hannibal.
“So they have…”said Harbi, looking around.
“Hey! People!” said Stacy in her “get peoples attention” voice. “I don’t know if anyone was listening, but I said that you’ve walked in to a trap!”
“Don’t worry, love, I’ll protect you,” said Numf, moving in to protect her just a little too closely. SLAP!! “Ooooh, I love a forceful woman,” said Numf picking himself off the floor again and rubbing his other cheek.
The last light from the flare was quickly dying.
“They come out in the dark,” said Stacy, softly. “Mostly.”
Scurrying could be heard in the darkness all around.
“Umm, Harbi, my motion detector tells me we’ve got trouble…….” said Numf.
“Arse,” muttered Sonnie.
“Time to party, boys and girls,” said Hannibal. “Whatever you do, don’t get split up.”
THUCK! “Aaaaaaargghhhhhh!” Thump.
“Shit – they got Mad-Dog!” cried Faceman. “Hey Face, did you realise that if you add an extra ‘e’ to your name you get Faeceman?” asked Numf. “Sorry, I just had to get that in before you get hideously maimed or killed in the next chapter.”
“Did you know that if you take three of the letters out of your name and replace them with three others you get CU..” screamed Face
“NOW now boys, play nicely,” said Stacy, talking loudly over the end of Faces new word so that Numf didn’t get yet another warning.
posted
Who's Stacey Sherridan then? And I thought Darkseid made TJ Hooker buy a girdle
more, more and then some more please Numf
-------------------- "Tempus Fugitive" the final part of the Adventures of Dream Boy series, set in the Three-Boot Universe. Read it only in the Bits o' Legionnaire Business Forum.
From: here, more often than not | Registered: Sep 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Abin - apology accepted - although not really needed. You kind of stirred me up a bit - but then it's in your blood (see sigs for details).
A tiger can't change his spots, or some such......
You've taken me slightly off course in the thread, but I'm sure I'll make it back - but if you guess any more of my plans I'm well and truly Donald Ducked. Quack! Quack!
posted
As the last vestiges of light disappeared, the ninja struck. They rained silently down on the remaining members of the squad, coming from all angles. The honour of killing in face-to-face combat meant that no projectiles were used by the SGG ninja.
The Useless Squad stood in a rough circle, back-to-back to protect themselves as much as possible. The remaining members of the A-Team opened fire with their automatic weapons, spraying the area in staccato stroboscopic bursts of light and noise. Black-coated bodies were shattered by the gunfire. Rody the Super Rat flew into the air, red and blue cape trailing behind him, his red laser vision blazing, taking it upon himself to deal with any ninja operating above ground level. Harbi, Sonnie and Numf swept their ray guns through the advancing masses, severing instantly cauterised limbs, slicing sinew and bone with little effort. Officer Sheridan used her service revolver to pick off anyone who appeared to be getting too close. But after only three clips she was out of ammo.
“…………………..” mouthed Numf to Harbi, questioningly. “…………………..” she mouthed in reply, shrugging her shoulders.
The automatic weapon fire was deafening, and the muzzle flashes blinding. Numf hadn’t felt anything like it since being in the front row at a Motorhead concert when he was younger.
The cordite, searing flesh, blood and evacuated matter stank like nothing Numf had smelled since he had been in the front row at that very same Motorhead concert.
Sonnie got Harbi and Numfs attention, and pointed to the fact that he had cut a swarth through the ninja hoardes, and that they should advance that way – very quickly. Numf tapped Stacy on the shoulder and beckoned her to follow. Harbi and Sonnie did similar with the A-Team. A large number of dead and dying bodies were piled up around them all, making it difficult for the ninja to attack effectively.
A noose appeared from above, looping itself around Face’s neck, hoisting him clear of the floor. His hands instantly came up to grab ahold of the rope, which meant that his gun dropped away, still firing, spraying bullets into the back of Hannibals legs. Hannibal collapsed backwards in agony, gun chattering bullets all around him. Thankfully it was only more SGG that were hit.
Face went limp. He stopped fighting and his arms fell to his sides.
From the pile of bodies, a legless black clothed body fell forwards, katana still in hand, and sliced through Hannibals arching form.
Numf had turned round and was close enough to kick the little bugger in the head, before severing his head from his stumpy little body.
He grabbed the two in-active machine guns, and threw one to Stacy.
There was a moments silence. The ninja realised that they had dealt a nigh mortal blow against their opponents, and geared themselves for the next assault.
BA looked Numf in the eye and said, “Go for it. I’ll hold them back as long as I can.” He threw two grenades for Numf to catch. “Won’t you need these?” asked Numf. “Don’t worry – I’ve got a few more,” came the reply, as he turned back to face the ninja.
Numf didn’t need to be told twice. He turned tail, grabbed Stacy by the arm, and pumped his legs as hard as he ever had in his life.
Behind him he could hear BA’s great voice scream, “ Come and get it you Monster-Truckers!” before the chatter of the machine gun took over again.
Numf and Stacy ran hand-in-hand for their lives, following Sonnie and Harbi. They sprayed bullets at shadows, whether or not they moved. The stroboscopic blasts from the guns, mixed with their own movement meant that they couldn’t trust any shadow. Later, a Shadow spokesman confirmed that a there were a number of casualties of some darned-unfriendly fire.
The gun fire from behind them stopped suddenly, and an explosion rent the air. The burst of red hot air pushed the running forms to the ground, which shook. They picked themselves up and continued running.
Numf turned to look back. “Bloody hell, he must have had quite a few grenades left. Hey, Rody – over here!”
Rody had been blown off course by the explosion, and had smashed off of the ceiling and then crashed to the ground. He stood up and shook his head to clear the double vision that he was experiencing. Two ninja pounced, just as Rody took to the air, escaping their clutches. He headed after the fleeing soldiers.
They ran and ran until the loudest noise was the pulse in their ears, and the deep wheezing of air in their chests, and still the ground shook behind them.
posted
They ran and ran, dodging along corridors, doubling back, taking lefts and rights at random, and then in an obvious pattern, and then back to random again. After what seemed like forever, but was probably only about 10 minutes, they came to a lift (elevator, for those who don’t have English as a first language) at the end of a corridor. Although all around was black, the numbers shone above the doors, going from one to 98. The button was presently on 1, but they had no way of knowing which level they were on.
They pressed the button and waited. 1…2…3…4…5…6…
“Come on, come on!” complained Numf.
They all turned around to look for any indication that they had been followed. There was none, but Numf kicking at the lift doors can’t have helped their cause much.
…57…58….59..
Numf was hopping up and down like a small boy desparately waiting to get in to the lavatory.
….87....88…89…
The high-pitched whirr of the lift mechanism could be heard to drop in tone, signalling the slowing of lift as it neared its destination. Which of course only meant that its descent was slowed.
….90………..91………..92………..93………………….
If he had had any hair left, Numf would have been pulling it out in frustration.
……ninety f…………..…ninety f……………………….ninety six………
Finally the lift arrived.
………ninety seven………………………………….ninety eight…Ping!
“Ah, the machine that goes ping,” quoted Numf, “always was one of my favourites.”
The doors slid open, exposing a very plush, mirrored interior. The kind of lift that you would expect to find in an upmarket hotel on Park Lane.
And, thankfully, no ninja.
Sonnie, Harbi and Rody had been watching the passageway behind them, and now walked backwards into the lift behind Numf and Stacy, ray guns still cocked and ready.
Numf released the Hold Door button, and pressed Floor 1.
Nothing happened.
After what seemed an interminable time, but was probably only about ten seconds, the doors started to slide slowly shut. An audible sigh could be heard from all of the lifts passengers.
Suddenly, just as the doors finished closing, a lassoo came out of no-where, whipped through the remaining aperture and plucked our heroic super rodent from the safety of the lift.
Harbi lunged forward, just in time for the doors to close, and the lift to start its ascent. She banged her fists off the inside of the doors.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” she screamed. “ROOODDDYYY! HANG ON IN THERE – WE’LL COME BACK FOR YOU!”
She fell back into the arms of her friends, sobbing. “We’ve got to go back for him,” she said between bouts of tears.
Eventually her sobbing subsided. No-one spoke.
“Hey, Harbi, do me a favour will you?” asked Sonnie after a few minutes.
“Sniff. Sure Sonnie, what is it?”
“Start your screaming and wailing and sobbing again, will you please?” asked Sonnie.
Harbi looked suitably shocked. As did Numf and Stacy.
Sonnie looked apologetically at them and pointed with his thumb at the speakers located in the ceiling of the lift. “I’m sorry, but I just can’t stand this Brian Eno Music-For-Toilets muzak!”
posted
Wires dangled from the ceiling of the lift where Sonnie had ripped out the speakers.
Numf turned to Stacy and looked her in the eye. “ Can I just say..”
“No,” she said softly, placing her index finger over his lips to silence him.
Conveniently the constant rumbling became a judder, which shook the lift, unbalancing Stacy. She fell into Numfs arms.
He looked down at her. She turned her head up to look at him. Their eyes met. All in soft focus.
“Well, this is what you’ve been waiting for. Kiss me, you great arse!” said Stacy, meaningfully in a totally false English accent.
“Gawd, I love a posh bird who talks dirty,” said Numf, and proceeded to kiss her passionately.
The lift rose. It wasn’t the only thing.
…72….71….70….6
Hands started to roam.
“Numfy and Stacy, up a tree, K..I..S..S..I…N…G.. First comes…”
“Oh leave them alone Sonnie, someone might as well be happy,” said Harbi, from her position on the floor.
Sonnie helped her up on to her feet and gave her a big hug. “Don’t worry, Harbi. Once we get ourselves sorted out we’ll head back down and rescue Rody. I promise.”
Harbi held tightly on to Sonnie for a second, eyes tightly shut, holding back the tears. “Thank you, my very good friend. You are an absolute rock.”
Zzzzziiiiiippppppppp!
She opened her eyes and blinked. “AW, guys – come on – get a fuckin’ room, will ya?”
From: Scatland | Registered: Sep 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
“Sorry Harbi, got a bit caught up in the moment,” said a very embarrassed Numfster.
“Yeah, sorry Mrs. Harbinger ma’am,” said an equally embarrassed Stacy, re-buttoning her white cotton uniform blouse over her exposed lacy white bra.
Harbi was looking at them as if she were a schoolmistress. Shoulders back, head held high, arms folded under magnificent bust, weight on one leg, and tapping the other foot. She did that great “looking over the rim of her imaginary glasses” look so well. Cheeks tight, as if trying not to laugh. She stopped short of saying “I’ll let you off this time, but don’t let me catch you doing it again.” But only just.
Sonnie was rolling around in the very tight confines of the lift, LHAO.
…8….7…..6………5…………..4….
The lift was slowing as it reached its destination.
But what could they expect to find at their destination?
Well, boys and girls, I’m going to have to leave it there for a while.
As of Friday I’m off on holiday to beautiful Tenerife for a fortnight. Then I’ve got a week offshore planned in almost straight away. So, it’s gonna be a month or so until I’m able to add to this story line.
Feel free to comment on what has gone before. What you’ve liked, or what you haven’t liked. Feedback is always welcome. (Even from AQ – but don’t tell him.)
Or if there’s anything you’d particularly like me to add then I may be able to accommodate you. Feel free to PM me if you want to keep it a secret from everyone else.
I’d prefer if you didn’t make guesses about what’s coming next, although I’m sure you’ve all got a broad idea of where it’s all headed. But there may be a few twists and turns along the way.
K’Numf
P.S. Don’t worry Cobie, I’m sure Kaant’ll be along to join us soon.
posted
Have a good holiday mannie, get a tan (haha) and send a postcard.
And HURRY back!
-------------------- "Tempus Fugitive" the final part of the Adventures of Dream Boy series, set in the Three-Boot Universe. Read it only in the Bits o' Legionnaire Business Forum.
From: here, more often than not | Registered: Sep 2003
| IP: Logged |
Right, I know you got back today Numf, so where's the next part then?
In your own time <exasperated toe tapping, crossed arms and stern looks from over glasses>
(but really Ken, hope you had a great time, thanks for the postcard!)
-------------------- "Tempus Fugitive" the final part of the Adventures of Dream Boy series, set in the Three-Boot Universe. Read it only in the Bits o' Legionnaire Business Forum.
From: here, more often than not | Registered: Sep 2003
| IP: Logged |
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