posted
the A-Team! Oh you are a loonie Mr Thomson, and by gum we love you for it!
xx
-------------------- "Tempus Fugitive" the final part of the Adventures of Dream Boy series, set in the Three-Boot Universe. Read it only in the Bits o' Legionnaire Business Forum.
From: here, more often than not | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
“Well, we were going to get the guys who do that Mission Impossible show, but they’re too old these days. Past their prime,” said Betty, by way of conversation.
“Shit. They brought in the A-Team!” said MJH, in a voice creaking with insincerity. He had managed to spit out the gag that had been put over his mouth.
“What’s this you’ve given me?” asked Numf. He had enough trouble distinguishing between his left hand and his right in the dark, let alone different types of weapons. Even with the slightly less darkness than there was before.
“That’s a bazooka,” Joe said. (Does anyone else around here remember Bazooka Joe bubble gum, or was that just a wasted joke? Doesn’t matter – most of them are….Let’s be honest, it’s not much of a joke, more like some not very clever word play….)
“Just before we set off, I’ve got a question that’s bugging me,” said Sonnie. “Mr Barracus, Numf and I used to argue about what B.A. stood for. I always reckoned that it stood for Bad Attitood.”
“Well, that’s what I always told everyone. But it ain’t true,” confessed B.A. “My mama was a big fan of Jaques Cousteau, and called me Breathing Apparatus.”
“See? I told you!” crowed Numf.
They started up again in single file, with some proper fire-power this time. Quietly they tiptoed down the last few hundred yards to the opening into the ninjas base.
To find absolutely nothing of interest.
So they continued on.
After another five minutes Harbi said, “Oh, come on, we should have encountered something by now. Numf, where’s that motion detector of yours, see if you can find us something.”
Numf set to with his motion detector.
He deet…..deet…..deeted away in the background. Suddenly, it got faster. Deetdeetdeetdeetdeet… Everyone started searching the area frantically for ninja.
Numf was stood there, pointing at Hunt. “Sorry, I’ve got it set on the wrong mode!” apologised Numf. Everyone relaxed. And turned back to their constant surveillance.
“Hey, does anyone else think it’s getting kinda hot down here?” asked Harbi.
“Yeah,” said Numf, only half listening, “ but it’s okay, it’s a dry heat. I don’t know what the hell that means, but I just thought I’d say it.”
Sonnie gave him a skelp round the lug.
“Ooow! Oh, thanks Sonnie, that seems to have re-set my motion detector. Deet…..deet…..deet….deet..deet….deet……….deet…deet.deet. Oh shit guys, either my motion detectors faulty or we’re in it deeeep!” Numf sounded worried.
“What’s up, Fool?” asked B.A.
“Either my hands busted or there’s a lot of movement about,” said Numf. He was definitely panicked.
Up ahead, Hannibal had found a villager, slumped against the wall. “Hey, come here everyone – I’ve found someone!”
They all came at a run, to find Hannibal standing over an un-moving form.
“Shit, he sure looks dead to me,” said Face. He bent down to get a closer look.
Suddenly the villagers head jerked up! Face let out a long, wet, noisy jet of gas.
The villagers eyes bulged in his head, and he started convulsing. “Kill me!” he croaked. His convulsions got worse. And worse. Until suddenly….
PPPUUUUKKKKEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!
“ ’kin’ Tequila!” the villager said softly, and slipped back into his comatose position, leaving the Faceman covered from head to toe in Jose Cuervo flavoured vomit.
posted
From out of no-where a ninja throwing star appeared.
Thwap! Straight between the eyes of little-used up until now character Ahole.
He fell like a brick with a throwing star between its eyes.
Blood pissed everywhere from the wound.
"Hey, I didn't really want to say this before, but did anyone ever notice the remarkable resemblance that he had to one-man A-Team Mac Guyver?" asked Numf.
"Well, apparently Abin Quank did," replied Harbi.
"Oh well - he's only a fictional TV character, so he won't really be missed, will he?" Numf said, much to the dismay of the A-Team.
"Say," said B.A., "What kind of name is Abin Quank anyway?"
"I don't know," said Sonnie, "but I think its Cockney Rhyming Slang."
-------------------- "Tempus Fugitive" the final part of the Adventures of Dream Boy series, set in the Three-Boot Universe. Read it only in the Bits o' Legionnaire Business Forum.
From: here, more often than not | Registered: Sep 2003
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I won't mention any more of my suspicions about where you're going next with this NumfWinger except to ask if the "Dukes of Hazzard" were ever shown on BBC.
posted
“Just a minute,” said Faceman, “I’ve got a flare in my pocket.”
“And I thought you were just happy to see me!” said Harbi, not unexpectedly.
Face took the flare from his pocket and struck it. Once the flare lit Face threw it forward to give light over the immediate area.
“Hole. E. Shite,” said Numf.
In front of them was a wall, which rose towards the roof (D’Oh!).
Row upon row of people were hung, attached to the wall, clearly dead. The original plan had been simply for them to be incapacitated, but I can’t risk Abin Quank getting ahold of them and using them for his own nefarious plans…………
“Oh, cripes-a-lawkey! There’s Luke ‘n’ Daisy ‘n’ Beau….” said Numfy.
“Surely you Geste….” said Sonnie.
“ Starsky ‘n’ Hutch!” said Harbi, pointing.
In all their jaw-dropping awe-struck-ness they were unaware of the hissing noise which rose all around and behind them.
“Crockett and Tubbs…” said BA.
“David Hasselhoff…” said Harbi.
“Is that the Nightrider or the Baywatch persona?” asked Hannibal.
“Who cares?” asked Numf.
“Bodie’n’ Doyle…” “Dempsey ‘n’ Makepeace…..” “Those two lassies, you know, one of them was in that Dirty Harry film….”
“There’s hunners of them. I’ll bet Abin can’t come up with anyone who isn’t up there…..” challenged Numf…….
posted
I just hope you plan on bringing David Hasslehoff back now Numf, that was cruel!! He's big in Germany you know
-------------------- "Tempus Fugitive" the final part of the Adventures of Dream Boy series, set in the Three-Boot Universe. Read it only in the Bits o' Legionnaire Business Forum.
From: here, more often than not | Registered: Sep 2003
| IP: Logged |
Ummm... Numfie, Buddy, That was just a little excessive (No Big Surprise in one of your stories ) killing off all those old TV Personna's in one shot like that! But I bet there's a few you never thought of... (But Retcons are a wonderful thing aren't they. )
So when I suggest that you bring in Quincy, M.E. to help the A-Team solve this heinous crime, you can hang him up there too!
Or maybe Colt Sievers, can stop the movie stunts and put on his bounty hunter cap. I hear he's a great Fall Guy!
Or just possibly, Amos Burke will step out of his Limo and lay down Burke's Law!
posted
“Movement at 10 o’clock!” screamed Faceman.
Numf wasn’t quick enough with the time gag before BA opened fire. Short bursts, long bursts, medium bursts - until his magazine was empty.
Three people lay, obliterated by armour piercing rounds, their bodies broken, in a pool of their own blood.
“Shit, BA – that there’s Quimcy MD..”
“Don’t you mean Quincy, Harbi?” asked Sonnie.
“Did you ever see his shows? The man was a complete twat! “And that’s that berk from Burke’s Law, and last, but by no means least there’s that Fallen Bloke,” said Harbi.
“All in all not a great loss to the world of light entertainment,” said Numfy. “Hey, wait a minute, there’s someone still alive over here……..”
The Numfster bent down to check, and immediately started mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, complete with chest compressions. Within a small matter of seconds coughing could be heard, as the mouth-to–mouth was successful. Numf, however, continued with both mouth-to-mouth and chest compressions until a sudden , loud SLAP!!! Filled the air.
“OUCH! But, that was sooooo worth it,” said Numf getting to his feet and holding out a hand to help the newly resuscitated woman up off the floor. He rubbed the side of his newly smacked face with his free hand.
Standing in their midst was……………………
Come on then AQ – who is it? If you get it right first time then I’ll send you a nice shiny one pound coin.
Hyperpath: Email this page to someone!
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the A-Team! Oh you are a loonie Mr Thomson, and by gum we love you for it!
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) killing off all those old TV Personna's in one shot like that! But I bet there's a few you never thought of... (But Retcons are a wonderful thing aren't they. ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
)
