posted
I'm not going to comment on what you did to my hair, no, I'm not. Not in public anyway!
And these Aitkens Rowies adverts.. hmmmmmmm, could you be a love and send me a pack down? Please? Pretty please?
Poor my little ponies. Never liked them anyway, I always prefered Tonka trucks (which probably explains a lot!).
Gossippy query to ask - was it true that when Keith went home with a blue mohican that your mum told him he looked like a My Little Pony? He's told us that that was the reason he got rid of it.
And Transformers up next.. ooooh! I seem to remember they brke pretty easily, let's hope this lot are super tough enough to deal with Kaant!
You're a star Ken, a total, luminous, stellar star!
-------------------- "Tempus Fugitive" the final part of the Adventures of Dream Boy series, set in the Three-Boot Universe. Read it only in the Bits o' Legionnaire Business Forum.
From: here, more often than not | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Yeah, it was a pity about mums My Little Pony comment. I thought that Keith with an electric blue mohican was well cool. I'm sure I've got a photo of him and Billy somewhere ......
From: Scatland | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Mere seconds later bits of broken and frazzled Transformers lay all around. Where once there had been chunky, shiny warriors there was now rubble. The red, white and blue had become black. The temperature of Kaants dragon-breath was enough to melt them in their tracks. Molten plastic and metal formed puddles. Some of them still burned.
The final battalion of war robots had proven themselves unequal to the task.
Bits of jet planes, tigers, buses, speed boats and even dinosaurs littered the hold. Pretty crap really, huh?
Kaants increased offensive and defensive capabilities had won the day. Easily.
Lego-lasses army of toys, although valiant, had failed. There was nothing left. And they had not even scratched the surface.
Stacy had run out of Elfish energy, which had been granted her by the last of the original Lego-lass bricks.But since there had only been the one brick drawing the energyit had run out a lot quicker than it ever had in the past. It had knackered itself, and would need quite a long re-charging period if it ever managed to escape from this death-trap of a ship.
Stacy collapsed slowly to her knees. She could not remember the last time she had felt so tired. Action Man had used up the last of his ammunition on the herd of My Little Ponies, and collapsed too.
Kaant laughed.
"You ready to die now?" she asked who-ever was listening.
"I'm not!" said Harbi.
With the exhaustion of the Elfish energy, the forcefield around the Mousetrap TM trap had slowly waned. Now Harbi was free.
And, my goodness, she was pissed off!
Kaant turned her head to look at the heroic figure. She lifted one talon to block off her nostril, and blew sharply down the other.
Harbi wasn't fast enough to escape the 200mph Weeble that hit her SMACK! between the eyes. She fell over.
From: Scatland | Registered: Sep 2003
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Stacy, dear brave Stacy, was down and out. Marvin hadn't been too sure about Stacy. He had thought, uncharitably he would admit, that she was just another dumb blonde. A hero chaser.
But she had convinced him otherwise. She was a hero in her own right. If they made it out of here Marvin promised to himself that he would recommend her for membership of the Legion. She had what it took. He would be proud to stand by her.
He guessed it was up to them, then. Marvins turn to step up to the plate
"Ahem," he coughed nervously as he moved out from behind Stacy, revealing himself to Kaant.
Unfortunately for him he walked straight into the corner of a handrail that he hadn't noticed. He doubled over slightly, still managing to hold Rody in the hostage position. He wished that Fat Cramer hadn't made the comment about the Nutcracker. Sweet.
From: Scatland | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
No pain no pain. Marvin slowly straightened, eyes smarting, willing himself to stand.
He took a few deep breaths. Slowly the world came back into focus.
If Kaant had taken her chance there and then there would have been no chance for Marvin and Rody. But obviously the deception had worked, because Kaant was standing stock still, staring in disbelief at what appeared to be a survivng dragon-bunny.
Eventually Marvin could speak. "Get out of here, or I'll kill your last survivng baby. You've done enough damage. You've killed Numf, and I don't know about Harbi, Sonnie and Stacy. It stops here, and it stops now!"
Kaant stared. "Gimmee baby."
"No. You go, and I'll look after your baby. Otherwise we all die here. Because I just plain don't trust you."
"Why should I trust you?" asked Kaant.
"Good question," said a voice behind Marvin. "It's best that you hand over her baby."
Marvin turned around to see Sonnie. He looked like shit. He looked like he'd had the crap kicked out of him and then fallen asleep in some strange toilets.
But he had a raygun pointed at Marvins chest.
"Don't be silly, Sonnie!" Marv said, raising his voice in both volumn and pitch. "She'll kill us all!"
"No Marv. I'm sick of all this death and destruction. Look around us. It has to stop. And we have to be the ones to stop it. Let it end." Sonnie looked up at Kaant. "We're going to give you your baby back now. And this is going to stop. Okay?"
Kaant blinked her eyes in wonder. Tears ran down her cheek. One had survived! One of her babies had survived! It was a miracle!
And that stupid bastard was about to hand it back to her on trust! Had he learned nothing?
posted
I don't believe for a second that Keith could be that stupid. Or could he????
Ken it's a bloody shocking state of events that we are two of perhaps a maximum of four posters who regularly reply to things in this section - I hope it's because everyone else is simply overcome by the splendid genius on display.. though somehow I doubt it
I think your work is fantastic Mr T. Keep it coming!
Harbi x
-------------------- "Tempus Fugitive" the final part of the Adventures of Dream Boy series, set in the Three-Boot Universe. Read it only in the Bits o' Legionnaire Business Forum.
From: here, more often than not | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
You've known Keith for HOW long? And you don't think he could be so stupid?
Seriously though, there's not much left of this story, as anyone who has seen 'Aliens' can probably work out. We're in the final scene - another couple of chapters to go, just to finish it off.
I get what you're saying about the lack of comments. There are a number of possibilities.
a/ no-one gives a rats ass (sorry Rody - not yours), b/ neither of us is actually writing about Legionaires, so no-one gives a rats ass, c/ there's so much history behind the stories that unless you've read from the start then you wouldn't give a rats ass, d/ we're no-where near as good as we'd like to think we are (no, lets keep Dean Friedman out of this), so no-one gives a rats ass.
Having said that, I'd like to thank the Academ..... everyone that's stuck around to the bitter end.
Sonnie and Harbi - brother and best of friends. You know damn fine that I wouldn't read yours if you didn't read mine.....
Abin Quank - you seem to be stuck on my wavelength - thanks for your comments and ideas.
Fat Cramer - you bring peace and happiness wherever you post. Thanks for the Immanuel Kant idea.
Cobie and Nighty - thanks for at least trying - sorry I didn't make it good enough to keep you hooked.
Anyone else that's made it this far - thanks for reading - feel free to make comments. It's always good to know that someone - anyone - is reading something that you've put your heart and soul (murky though it be) into. And if they enjoy it then that's even better.
"I take baby. I go home. I no bother you no more," said Kaant, with a pseudo-smile plastered over her red scaly face, long eyelashes fluttering.
"See, Marvin. We can trust her," said Sonnie.
"But..... but ........." Marvin stammered.
"No more buts. Give the baby to me," said Sonnie, still with the gun pointed at Marvin, but with the other hand held out to accept the 'baby'.
Marvin nervously handed Rody over. It could be seen now that Rody had somehow managed to elongate his own ears. By sheer will power. And of course he already had his own set of extra long incisors. And of course, being covered with Numfs blood meant that he was the correct colour as well.
Sonnie turned to face Kaant, who tried her best to look suitably grateful, and came up a long way short. She did manage to look suitably evil and canniving.
"However..... before I hand over your baby I want Harbi and Stacy taken out of here. They're in no condition to cause you any grief, but you could still use them to get at me. And we might as well get Numfs remains out of here too," said Sonnie.
"You not trying to pull fast one, are you?" asked Kaant dubiously.
"Absolutely not. Legions Honour. I just want them to be safe. I'll tell you what, why don't we let Marvin remove them. That way you, your baby and I are always here. It should only take a minute or two. Okay?" asked Sonnie.
"Okay - bu' no funny stuff," said Kaant menacingly.
Sonnie ignored the menace in her voice and turned back and spoke quietly to Marvin. Not so quietly so that Kaant thought there was anything untoward going on.
"Marvin, would you please be so kind as to remove the ladies from the room, and stick Numf in a bin bag would you?" Sonnie asked. "I'm sorry I had to point a gun at you. Please don't take it personally.I just want an end to all this death and destruction."
Marvin said nothing, he just went about removing the ladies and Numf from the area.
Three journeys later the girls were strapped onto comfy sofas, and Numf was in the garbage compactor.
From: Scatland | Registered: Sep 2003
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quote:Originally posted by Ghost of Numf-El: You've known Keith for HOW long? And you don't think he could be so stupid?
Seriously though, there's not much left of this story, as anyone who has seen 'Aliens' can probably work out. We're in the final scene - another couple of chapters to go, just to finish it off.
I get what you're saying about the lack of comments. There are a number of possibilities.
a/ no-one gives a rats ass (sorry Rody - not yours), b/ neither of us is actually writing about Legionaires, so no-one gives a rats ass, c/ there's so much history behind the stories that unless you've read from the start then you wouldn't give a rats ass, d/ we're no-where near as good as we'd like to think we are (no, lets keep Dean Friedman out of this), so no-one gives a rats ass.
Having said that, I'd like to thank the Academ..... everyone that's stuck around to the bitter end.
Sonnie and Harbi - brother and best of friends. You know damn fine that I wouldn't read yours if you didn't read mine.....
Abin Quank - you seem to be stuck on my wavelength - thanks for your comments and ideas.
Fat Cramer - you bring peace and happiness wherever you post. Thanks for the Immanuel Kant idea.
Cobie and Nighty - thanks for at least trying - sorry I didn't make it good enough to keep you hooked.
Anyone else that's made it this far - thanks for reading - feel free to make comments. It's always good to know that someone - anyone - is reading something that you've put your heart and soul (murky though it be) into. And if they enjoy it then that's even better.
Love and Peace to you all, K'N
Ken, you write, I read, and laugh, and laugh, and laugh...
Quite simple really...
-------------------- Just an Old, Broke-Down, Drunk, Bum!!
With a Power Ring...
From: Westerly Rhode Island | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
The door into the wellbay closed behind Sonnie.
With, what sounded to him, like a very final 'clunk'.
Sonnie sighed. He alone knew the whole plan. Or at least the possible final gamble. Neither Rody nor Marvin would have agreed to the cost.
He hoped it wouldn't come to that, but he had to be prepared for the possibility.
"Gimmee baby! I been good. I want my baby! GIMMEE BABY NOW!" Kaant had finally lost patience. She started stamping her feet.
Sonnie sighed once more. He started walking towards Kaant. Rody in one hand held in front of him. Gun in the other, pointing at the floor. For what it was worth now.
He had to be careful not to stand on any of the Weebles. They may not have been imbued with any Elfen Force anymore, but he still didn't want to end up going arse over tit. Weebles might wobble, but Sonnie didn't want to fall down.
He walked over slowly until he was standing directly in front of Kaant. Who was angrily inhaling and exhaling through her mouth, little flickers of flame ready to cast death at any second.
Sonnie held out Rody.
Kaant immediately snatched him from Sonnies hand and brought him up to her right cheek. She took one big breath in and then exhaled slowly, sighing. "My baby," she said, closing her eyes. She relaxed visibly.
And then she became curious.
When he noticed the change in her features Sonnie backed off. Slowly but carefully.
Kaant sniffed through her huge nostrils in much the same way that you would expect to see a bloodhound doing. sniff sniff sniff exhale sniff sniff sniff exhale sniff sniff
"I know why you smell of Sonnie and that strange man called Marvin. But why you smell so much of Numf?" Kaants forehead furrowed in confusion. But very quickly she came to the obvious conclusion.
Her eyes widened in absolute shock. She'd been duped!
"You're not my baby!" she hissed, eyes still wide.
Rody the Super Rat attacked. As he had been told to. At the one place that wasn't armoured. At the one place that was vulnerable.
Rody hung on to Kaants huge eye-ball with his sharp little incisors and every single claw. Like a mad mental Garfield.
Kaant screamed. In pain. In rage. In terror. In surprise.
posted
In the bridge Marvin hit the switch as he had been instructed.
Luckily Sonnies lower tones had been heard clearly against the pain filled shreiking of Kaant.
Sonnie stood watching as the yellow safety beacons strobed into life. The klaxons were loud enough to drown out Kaants screaming. He wrapped one arm and one leg around a walkway handrail.
The cargo bay doors took only the shortest of times to open. In the emptiness of space vacuums love company. Everyone was invited to the party.
The Weebles were first to go, wobbling their way across the floor at the first sign of any suction of the vacuum. While alive, Numf had been know to crawl across broken glass on his hands and knees at the first sign of the merest possibility of any suction. Though he'd never tried a vacuum ...
As the cargo bays opened more, the other toys quickly followed suit. As if in platoons, all of the toys took to the air. They were sucked visciously out into the emptiness of space.
Everything had gone deadly quiet save for the slowly decreasing hiss of escaping air. Even Kaants screams were being sucked away from Sonnie.
The claws from three of Kaants feet were planted into the floor of the cargo bay. Her fourth foot was scrambling to try and get Rody. Kaant could not believe the pain that one small fu'in' ra' could cause.
Rody just knew it as justice for what she had put him through. Though it would probably be closer to the truth to call it revenge.
From: Scatland | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Sonnie knew he'd have to do something soon. It was the final gamble that he had prepared himself for.
Rody was only a small rodent and could not hold his breath for very long. In fact Rodys time was up - he should have been getting out of the way by now, as per the plan. Sonnie had thought this might happen.
14....... 15....... 16..
Sonnie had to move. Only 4 seconds left.
After picking up a fallen comrade who was attached to the handrail, he activated his Legion Flight ring and reached Mach 2 in the half second that it took to impact. Right in the middle of Kaants chest. The blow knocked the remaining breath out of her body, and ripped off every single claw from three of her feet, leaving them imbedded in the cargo bay floor.
Kaant was knocked backwards out of the cargo bay doors, Sonnie scrabbling at her, punching and scratching, and dragging his way towards her head.
Kaant was trying unsuccessfully to take a breath.
18.... 19.....
"20" said Marvin back in the bridge. He pressed the 'close' button as he head been instructed. He had no idea what had happened through there, but hoped that Sonnies plan had worked.
Outside in space Sonnie had reached Kaants head and had dragged Rody from her eyeball. He was still nipping and scratching away, obviously having forgotten about getting clear. He stopped when he saw that it was Sonnie that had grabbed him away.Rody took a deep breath and got nothing.He started to panic.
Sonnie kissed him on the top of the head. He drew back his arm and threw with every ounce of strength and skill that he could muster. He had noticed that the cargo doors were closing, as instructed. He then hoped, as he couldn't afford the time to see if Rody was going to be alright.
Back to the fight.
---------------------------
As you would expect from one of these 'one in a million' chance throws, Sonnie had either managed to perfectly gauge the gravitational pull, rotation of Marvins spaceship, acceleration pull that he himself was experiencing etc. etc. etc. or else he was just a jammy bastard.
Rody flew through the 2" gap that was left of the closing door just in time for the atmosphere to be re-engaged, forcing air into his little lungs. He gasped in the higher than normal oxygen content air. The nitrogen would get itself sorted out in a minute.
At the moment Rody needed the extra O2 to give him a bit of a buzz and stop the pain caused by trying not to explode. Or at least get him slightly high so that he didn't care.
From: Scatland | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Marvin was trying his damnedest to focus the undership CCTV cameras on the fight taking place. He had glimpsed Kaant, Rody and Sonnie shooting past on the direct feed screens, and was now trying to set up the auto-follow and auto-zoom.
As soon as he could track them he'd be able to follow. But he'd been blown slightly off orbit when the air had been expelled from the cargo bay, and it had set up a slight rotation, so Marvin wasn't entirely certain which way he should be pointing.
Harbi was beginning to stir on the couch. Stacy was still overcome with exhaustion.
Marvin was having no luck with the cameras, so he decided to try another way.
"Hold on ladies," he shouted over his shoulder.
He began to spin the ship, as quickly as possibly, but slowly enough so that the motion didn't induce vomiting. Shortly the main front port looked down at Legionworld. The cloud covering El Veefourtwosix could be seen clearly, disappearing slowly into the dark, night, half of the planet. Under different circumstances it would be a sight worth sitting and watching.
But they had more important things to worry about.
"Wassupppp?" asked Harbi.
"We've done this joke already, haven't we?" asked anyone that has read all the way through.
Giving the Budweisser joke a miss this time, Marvin quickly explained the situation.
"Rody and Sonnie?" said Harbi with a tear in her eye. "We need to find them Marvin. Or else Kaant'll tear them to bits....." Harbi turned away to wipe her teary eye and compose herself.
Giving the musical joke a large bodyswerve, Harbi turned back to surveying the vast area in front of them. "If only Rody were here, he could use his Super Raat Vision to help us find them."
"Squeak"
"Come on now Marvin - this is serious!" chastised Harbi.
"Squeeeeeeek!" "Not me Harbi - I guess that Rody managed to escape," said Marvin, a smile crossing his face as he continued to search the blackness.
"Rody! Oh, how glad I am to see you!" Harbi had turned and picked up Rody. She closed her eyes, fighting down the emotions that were trying to spill out of her eyes again. She promised herself a damned good cry and a box of Black Magic chocolates when this was all over.
"Squeak?"
"Oh, forget my bruised head, and how it looks like a little Weeble face. Where's Sonnie? Can you help us find him?"
posted
Sonnie and Kaant had spun through space, down through the void towards Legionworld. Globules of blood trailed in their wake from Kaants ripped claws.
Sonnie was grateful for his Legion Flight Ring - without it he would have died minutes ago. He had no idea how Kaant was surviving in the cold and oxygen starved void. Maybe she had used her powers to re-align her internal organs and evolve her dragon abilities once more?
Kaant pushed herself away from Sonnies grip and set herself, ready for battle. She sneered as she unfurled her wings. These weren't the small red wings that she had used previously.
These were magnificent, marvellous wings. These were huge, silver, metal coated, solar powered wings.
That showed, at least, how she had managed to survive - adaptation. Just as Sonnie had predicted.
What Sonnie hadn't predicted was that they would make such a magnificent weapon.
Kaant looked past Sonnie, gauging her location in relation to something that Sonnie couldn't see.
The Sun.
Kaant shaped her wings precisely to relfect a billion lux of light energy at Sonnie.
It knocked him backwards and blinded him momentarily. It also burned all of his clothes off apart from his asbestos knickers, which he had taken to wearing a few years ago when he'd taken an unusual taste for really, really hot currys with extra jalapenos.
There he was, buff and smooth and blind. Ready to be taken advantage of. He just wished that it wasn't Kaant who was going to do the taking advantage. If it had been Lashypoos, or Icey, well, that would have been an interesting proposition.
Kaant wasn't letting up. She poured the blinding, searing light at Sonnie. The pain was like nothing that he had ever felt. Every fibre of his body screamed. Every cell burned.
From: Scatland | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Does this mean that Sonnie will finally get a tan?
-------------------- "Tempus Fugitive" the final part of the Adventures of Dream Boy series, set in the Three-Boot Universe. Read it only in the Bits o' Legionnaire Business Forum.
From: here, more often than not | Registered: Sep 2003
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