posted
No Chuck, not a requirement. I was just wondering if anyone had noticed. (Gawd, I'm starting to sound like Eeyore now.)
Anyway, here's some more for ya...
-------------------------
Harbi turned to face her enemy, but before she could get herself into the patented Harbi heroic pose - which may not have looked quite as heroic as normal, what with the puke stains and the smoking hair - Kaant was on her. Harbi had spent too long jumping on the spot trying to pat out the fire in her hair and Kaant had taken the opportunity to pounce.
And pounce she had, much like a cat on a mouse, or one of those South American wolf-type things that live in the long grass up the Andes. (A maned wolf - thanks Internet.)
Unfortunately for all involved she hadn't taken into account the low ceiling height throughout the ship. This, coupled with the angle of the ships flight meant that she smashed off of the ceiling and went spinning down the length of the hold in the same manner as Bambis first venture onto ice. Legs akimbo, spinning as she went.
Luckily for Harbi Kaant didn't actually land on top of her.
Unluckily for Harbi one of Kaants razor sharp claws did grab ahold of her as she span past.
This sudden shift in weight within the ship changed its centre of gravity, and therefore its line of flight, steepening its angle.
Up through the upper atmosphere the ship flew, out into the black of space.
From: Scatland | Registered: Sep 2003
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Stacy looked on in amazement. Tears ran down her face, but she had a glint in her eyes and a strangely serene smile on her lips.
It was like a dream of Xmas she had when she was four years old. She looked around in wonder.
Yet she knew that the nightmare ride was only moments away.
And then the Lego spoke to her.
"Officer Sheridan, we need your help," the Lego said.
"But, but, how do you know my name?" she asked.
"It says it on your police badge," the Lego said. If the Lego had eyes it would have rolled them theatrically at this point.
There had been barely enough Lego in the box to make half a head. But when Sonnie carelessy threw the last remaining block of Lego-lass away in his hurry to help Numf the Elfen force had still been strong enough to form a strange half facefrom the 30 or so remaining pieces of Lego in Marvins toybox. A pair of lips and half a nose now sat in the place of honour atop a beanbag on the floor in front of Stacy. The lips moved, and a strange ethereal voice could be heard.
"We need your help. We need you to marshall our troops. Otherwise we will all die. And so will you. We have to hurry - the moment of truth is upon us."
As the head had formed the Elfen force had multiplied exponentially. Now, not only did it have mastery over the Lego, but also over the strange army that surrounded Stacy.
From: Scatland | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Kaant had been pleasantly surprised when she had stopped spinning and seeing stars and had found an unconscious Harbi held tightly in her claw.
Marvin had finally stabilised the ship. The artificial gravity was turned on and it was possible to walk without falling over.
Kaant forced herself to her feet, shook her head to get rid of the cobwebs and bring her eyesight back into focus. Holding Harbi out in front of her, she took a deep breath. Out of the corner of her eye she caught a sight through the viewing port of Legionworld, framed by the darkness of space.
"Ah, barbi-ed Harbi. I been waiting a rong time to say tha'!" She took another deep breath............
Out of the corner of her eye she caught a sight through the viewing port of Legionworld, framed by the darkness of space. Distracted for the briefest second she missed the entrance of Stacy.
"Leave her alone, YOU BITCH!"
Stacy had heard it somewhere before, and it had sounded like a good line at the time. And apt for this particular situation.
Kaant changed her aim and exhaled her liquid fire at Stacy.
Stacyducked down, her shield protecting her from the intensity of the heat. But no-one would ever draw chalk clowns on this blackboard again. The black absorbed the heat and burst into flame.
Stacy stepped back from it.
She swung her right arm in a classic Pete Townsend manner and pointed at Kaant.
"ATTACK! My Lovelies!!!!!" she shouted in a strange stereo voice. Underlying tones of plastic could be heard beneath her natural vocals.
Instantly two battalions of toys emerged from behind her. They were both made up of roughly the same proportion of types. Fighting in a pincer formation.
The front lines were both made up of Weebles. They might wobble, but they certainly weren't going to fall down. No sirree! By Jove they would not fall!
However, they didn't move very quickly, and were quickly swamped by Care Bears and Cabbage Patch Dolls filled with a Berzerker Blood lust.
The ranks of Bears and Dolls were first in line for Kaants scything napalm kiss of death. Dozens of them in both pincers turned instantly to black Bear / Doll shaped dust. Their eyes hung in mid-air, gave one last confused blink and dropped to join the dust that was settling on the ground.
Kaant put her head back and laughed.
She stopped suddenly, and the echoes of her laughter rang off the hull.
She stared Stacy in the eye.
"Tha' was fun. Bring ....... it .........on! Le's see wha' you go'!"
From: Scatland | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Stacy retreated slowly backwards down the corridor. She was holding something that looked very reluctant to go, as it had attached itself to both sides of the door frame and was holding on with both hands and both feet.
Kaant advanced, matching pace with her. What was going on though? Those arms and legs were getting very long ............
Smack!
"Yes! Direct Hit!" shouted Stacy gleefully.
As Kaant will atest to, getting the arse end of a Weeble in the eye is not a pleasant sensation. Especially when it was catapulted from a Stretch Armstrong catapult !
By the time Kaant realised what had happened Stacy had managed to load up and release another of those solid-bottomed little rotund guys. They may not be very fast on the ground, but by Jingo! they hurt like the very devil when they hit you at 90 miles an hour!
The Weebles were wobbling into a line, all eager to make up for the ignimony of being over-run by the bears and dolls. All dreaming of becoming projectiles for the cause!
Kaant was stepping backwards now, trying to get away from the little plastic bastards.
"Stretch, can you manage from here yourself?" asked Stacy .
"Absolutely Ma'am!" replied Stretch.
"Excellent - just keep up the barrage. Keep her pinned down - I've got some more organising to do."
ppp ----- choing!!!
"Brilliant shot Stretch - right up her left nostril! Keep it up."
From: Scatland | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Harbi was knocked back to consciousness by a ricocheted Weeble off the shoulder. She found herself gripped tightly in a humungous great big red claw, attached to a humungous great big red dragon retreating from small bits of plastic which were being catapulted at it by a rubber man.
Harbi tried closing her eyes and putting her head back down on the pillow, but it turned out that it wasn't just a dream.
(Damn, so much for that option .........)
Upon opening her eyes once more Harbi spied Stacy, apparently marshalling the contents of the ships toybox.
Harbi couldn't be certain that it wasn't a dream. She pinched herself. Ow! Hells Teeth - it definitely wasn't a dream. Shit, that meant that she actually had to deal with this.
From: Scatland | Registered: Sep 2003
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On Stacys order, squads of Tonka Trucks of various sizes raced slowly across the hold towards Kaant.
DIsorientated though she was from the Weeble bombardment she still managed to squash over half of the trucks, along with various toys before they could disembark.
"Quick, while she's distracted, over there," Stacy whispered, pointing towards a set of rickety looking stairs up at the rear of the hold.
"Yes, Sir!" replied the one-and-a-half armed Action Man rather too loud for Stacys liking. She winced a bit and put a vertical index finger up to pursed lips. "Shhhhhh! Stealth is the key."
Action Man would have looked sheepish if it had been at all possible.
Instead he started to creep along the side wall in the direction of the stairs. Stealthily.
Two of the Tonka trucks had managed to get past Kaants defences, and their occupants had clambered out.
Imbued with Elfen Force this pair was stronger and harder and tougher than ever before. One totally red and one totally blue, they had been fighting each other since birth, but could now unite for the first time to fight the common foe.
Angular and muscular, the Raving Bonkers Fighting Robots aka the Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots would give Kaant some serious payback for napalming their toybox buddies!
From: Scatland | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Thanks Chuck - it's comments like that that make it worth writing.
K
--------------------------
The double hammer attack on Kaants back legs knocked her off balance.
Pummel pummel pummel pummel.
In stereo.
Kaant kicked out instinctively.
Ping!
Ping!
Two direct hits - two heads went flying off.
Both of the Bonkers Boxers ran around like chickens until they were caught by their seconds - a pair of teddy-bears who had been loaded in the Tonka Trucks along with them for just this occassion.
Back down went the heads, and the robots went back to work. The teddys ran back and hid behind the Tonka Trucks.
Harbi saw her chance. She sensed Kaant getting ready to kick out in the same way that she had previously to good effect. Timing it perfectly, when Kaant lifted her back legs to kick out Harbi activated her Legion Flight Ring. Having only one foot in contact with the floor at that precise moment, Kaant completely lost her balance. Not having lost her grip on Harbi, she was pulled through the air.
Harbi stopped dead, and used an old Judo move she knew from her self defence classes to use Kaants own momentum against her. Leaning back in towards her, Harbi bounced Kaant off her hip, and SLAMMED! her into the wall of the hold.
Kaant slid down and THUD!ed against the floor. She lay there, stunned.
Harbi watched her for a second, and then turned around and strutted majestically back into the centre of the hold, where she stood in the heroic pose that Harbi is rightly famous for. Head held high, fists on hips, feet apart at shoulder width.
"NOOOOOO!" shouted Stacy from her position standing on a seesaw by the door.
Harbi turned to see what she was shouting at. Stacy was pointing above where Harbi was standing.
Action Man had climbed up the rickety stairs as instructed, where he had started a chain reaction by pushing over a bucket. The big heavy ball inside the bucket had rocked and rolled from side to side down the stairs, picking up momentum .......
Harbi was surprised to see a large metal ball fall on to the other end of Stacys seesaw, and Stacy coming flying off - all open eyed and whirlwinding arms - and landing in a big round tub. Of all things.
Harbi heard a noise that she never thought she'd hear again. It sounded like Numfys bicycle.
When Harbi had first met Numf he had a red bike. And the height of 'cool' in his peer group (11 year olds) had been to attach wooden lolly-pop sticks to the frame in such a way that they 'whirrrrrrrred' against the spokes of the wheels. That brought back memories of warm, bright, innocent summers, butterflies flitting past, ice cold Barrs Irn Bru ..........
But what was that noise? She remembered Stacy pointing above her, and looked up - just as a giant yellow basket-like contraption fell over her. It shimmered with electricity - obviously some kind of Elfen Force shield.
It was big enough to capture a big red dragon.
So why did everyone feel the need to act on the impulse to shout "MOUSETRAP!"
From: Scatland | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Mousetrap! Oh my good giddy aunt Ken, what a memory spinner that is - do you remember playing that in your folks back garden? Maybe even in the square iteslf now I think of it. How many years ago was that now? (25+ at least!! and I'm being very kind to both of us with that )
Your bike with lollypops on the spokes - I tried to get Oliver to do that years ago but he said it looked like something ancient from the 70's Kids these days don't know they are alive!
Going online again this weekend so expect Sub-mania at a Bits forum near you (at last count I had 28 posts written ready to go!)
-------------------- "Tempus Fugitive" the final part of the Adventures of Dream Boy series, set in the Three-Boot Universe. Read it only in the Bits o' Legionnaire Business Forum.
From: here, more often than not | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Nostalgia'r'us, eh Harbi? Can't wait to catch up on your Subs. Kx
--------------------
Marvin parked his spaceship in orbit around Legionworld. It had been a bit of a beast flying it with all the weight bouncing around and changing trajectories that had gone on, but he'd managed. Now he'd set an course that would miss all of the spy satellites, neon advertising hoardings and mobile burger franchises that also orbitted Legionworld.
Now he had to go back to the hero business. Not that he wasn't up to the task. He just much preferred being a pilot.
Deep breath. And another.
Right , turn round, walk out, and save the day.
Okay. Turn round.
"Eeeeeek!"
Marvin tried, unsuccessfully to hide behind his forearms from the sight which met him, left leg curled up to protect some things to which he was very attached.
If this was a TV series there'd be a commercial break about now. So...
(Fade to black. Adverts start -
# Aitkens rowies, they're the best....#
Put kettle on for a cuppy. Go for piss, wash hands. Wander around a bit, scratch arse. )
'Squeak?' came the concerned and slightly disappointed voice.
(Oh shit, it's started again - fight for the comfy seat. ..... That's my seat / No it isn't, you left it etc ........)
Marvin opened one eye and peered through his fingers. Pause for a second to let everyone regain their seats.
Rody? "Is it really you?" he asked. The vision of evil incarnate that floated in front of him at eye level bore very little resemblance to the fluffy rat that Marvin knew and loved so well. It looked more like a ......... "I'm sorry, Rody - I didn't recognise you . You know I wouldn't cower away from you unless I thought that you were an evil dragon-bunny. That's a brilliant disguise you've got there. Where did you get the red from? Is it food colouring? Ink? What is..."
"Squeak."
"Oh, of course it is....... I'm assuming you have a plan in mind then," said Marvin hopefully. Anything would be better than Marvins plan to brazen it out in front of a dragon roughly the size and colour of a London bus. And one shit-load nastier.
From: Scatland | Registered: Sep 2003
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Marvin and Rody entered the main hold behind where Stacy stood.
In a re-enactment from a previous episode of this very story Rody was held by the ears, and Marvin held a ray gun to Rodys head.
They both looked around at the mayhem.
Kaant had recovered from being thrown against the wall. At present she was spraying liquid fire around her.
Stacy was rapidly running out of toys.
The Barbies had been singularly useless. They had tried without success to turn Kaant 'girly' by talking about shoes and handbags and general accessorizing. Harbi had been interested in what they had to say, but Kaant had simply squashed all fifteen of them with one stamp.
The Buckaroo mule had been even worse, considering just how powerful a kick he had. His problem had been that no-one had been prepared to run across and load lassoos, boxes of pretend dynamite and large heavy hats on his back to trigger the kick reflex. Instead he had looked sorrowfully over his shoulder while Kaant advanced and bit his back legs off, laughing.
A herd of My Little Ponies had valiantly charged out to the rescue, but Kaants tail had swept across the floor and sent them, broken, across to the far side of the room, where they lay, whinnying for someone to come and put them out of their misery.
But, at present, Kaant was massacring rank upon rank of strange, changing toys. It took Marvin a second or two to work out what they were.
Hyperpath: Email this page to someone!
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Kids these days don't know they are alive!
