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Author Topic: LEGION STORIES re-told in all-smiley form MLLASH bite into the all-caps posted                       That's right, Cosmic Boy! We were turned down-- because we have the SAME POWERS as you! Those are the breaks! We're as good as you or BETTER! We deserve a chance to PROVE it! We challenge you to-- FORGET it! We don't have time to waste on all the clowns who "challenge" us! ESPECIALLY clowns wearing girly-looking short-shorts! -------------------- Visit the FULL FRONTAL FANDANGO & laugh along with Lash at http://lashlaugh.wordpress.com/ Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged |  MLLASH bite into the all-caps posted                       Who said you had a CHOICE, big shot? Hey! Let go-- CLOBBER him, sweet man! Nobody will remember SATURN GIRL once I take your place in the Legion! She's stronger than I! A Phantom LAD is better than a Phantom GIRL! OOOOH!! My HAIR!!! Quit pulling it, you space-sissy! -------------------- Visit the FULL FRONTAL FANDANGO & laugh along with Lash at http://lashlaugh.wordpress.com/ Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged |  MLLASH bite into the all-caps posted                       HA! My mastery of Imskian Modern Dance is better than YOURS, Shrinking Violet! I'm-- I'm tripping! OHHHH! I'll be CHAMELEON KID when I become a Legionnaire!! Uhhhh! I know you! You're TARYN LOY-- daughter of Bismoll's most brilliant scientist! And YOU, Matter-Eater Lad, are Mister USELESS! My father found a way to divert the energy we consume to my MUSCLES-- I'm as strong as THREE MEN! Three TOUGH ones, too-- not skinny wimps like YOU! **Punch!!** And-- I was afraid I'd hurt HER! I've PROVED you've no right to represent BISMOLL in the Legion! You should be replaced by CALORIE QUEEN! -------------------- Visit the FULL FRONTAL FANDANGO & laugh along with Lash at http://lashlaugh.wordpress.com/ Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged |  MLLASH bite into the all-caps posted                       My my! Such impolite visitors! I'm afraid you all have to leave! Let me take you to the door! Get LOST, Super-Buttinski! If you're all still game, we'll settle this TOMORROW MORNING right HERE! You BET we will! But I was only trying to HELP! Mind your own business and quit trying to be such a panel-hog! This story isn't ABOUT you, Super-chump, despite your prominent placement on the cover! Your comic would have been cancelled if we hadn't taken it over-- so BUTT OUT. [ October 09, 2004, 09:06 AM: Message edited by: MLLASH ] -------------------- Visit the FULL FRONTAL FANDANGO & laugh along with Lash at http://lashlaugh.wordpress.com/ Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged |  MLLASH bite into the all-caps posted                       And thus, morning comes, as it so often does... The Six Legionnaires face-off against the 6 Super-Rejects! You COWARD! Come and FIGHT me! *gulp!* That's just what I'm doing! *chomp!* I'm using my HEAD, sweetie, and my POWER! To eat this flagpole, causing it to crash on top of you! Now I'll tie you up in the flag, and count on your girlish female emotions getting the best of you and making you forget to use your super-strength to escape! SHRIeeeeeeK! My female emotions-- can't think straight-- HELP ME! In a minute! I'm going to magnetically hurl this monument at Cosmic Boy! Guess again, short-pants! Little did you suspect the monument is ME-- Chameleon Boy! *punch!* OoooOOH! -------------------- Visit the FULL FRONTAL FANDANGO & laugh along with Lash at http://lashlaugh.wordpress.com/ Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged |  MLLASH bite into the all-caps posted                       Sucker-punch! And it's just as easy for me to get behind Micro Lad and let HIM have it! *punch!* I've got Esper Lass spinning head over heels by magnetizing the IRON in her body! Gonna--- HURL! Should have-- used powers--! **RAAAAAllph!* -------------------- Visit the FULL FRONTAL FANDANGO & laugh along with Lash at http://lashlaugh.wordpress.com/ Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged |  MLLASH bite into the all-caps posted                       Meanwhile, Saturn Girl directs Tenzil to the disguised Chameleon Kid. The hapless Durlan surrenders when Tenzil threatens to EAT him! I think I would have CALLED his bluff, myself. So anyhoo, the rejects get a nice, thorough preaching-to about how teamwork makes even the weaker guy and useless girl Legionnaires better than THEY are. And then-- You've been chosen to run for senate, Matter-Eater Lad! Long as I'm leaving, think about giving Calorie Queen another chance! She's quite a gal, you know. When her girlish female emotions aren't making her act all womanly. That's the mark of greatness-- to FORGIVE and HELP your opponent! But you can FORGET it, Tenzil. Take her back home with YOU. Well... I will need an assistant... NOoooOOOOoooo! THE END! -------------------- Visit the FULL FRONTAL FANDANGO & laugh along with Lash at http://lashlaugh.wordpress.com/ Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged |  Future The Present is Past posted                       *Applause* I love it, Lash! Now I've got to go out and buy the rest of the Archives just to compare this story to your jeen-yus. Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged |  Eryk Davis Ester Created from the Cosmic Legends of the Universe! posted                       Nice! I'd like to see the "missing page" where Tenz is whining to Val about being clobbered by a girl and stuff! This story is in the fine tradition of Legionnaires with useless powers finally doing something heroic right before they leave the team! From: Liberty City | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged |  Nightcrawler Founder posted                           :clap: Fantastic! Thanks Lash! You rawk! From: San Diego, CA | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged |  MLLASH bite into the all-caps posted                       *blush!* You boys are so sweet! And now... the second tale in S/LSH # 212: A DEATH STROKE AT DAWN-- Uncut & uncensored! (Well, actually, Colson, Gunner and Hunk HAVE been cut from the tale, but you'll enjoy it anyway-- trust!) -------------------- Visit the FULL FRONTAL FANDANGO & laugh along with Lash at http://lashlaugh.wordpress.com/ Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged |  MLLASH bite into the all-caps posted                       The scene: SHADOW LASS has just helped NIGHT GIRL defeat 3 thugs who had the drop on her! WHY didn't COSMIC BOY have Lydda's back, you wonder? Wonder NO MORE, gentle reader! You saved my life! And YOU saved MINE! How did you get in such a fix? You must have realized how dangerous it was to mix it up with vicious thugs like that if all they had to do was flip a switch to weaken you! I had to... -------------------- Visit the FULL FRONTAL FANDANGO & laugh along with Lash at http://lashlaugh.wordpress.com/ Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged |  MLLASH bite into the all-caps posted                       And then Lydda goes into a long flashback recounting her origin. Her story of a scientist father who experimented on her is amazingly similar to the origin Calorie Queen gave in the book's lead tale! I guess their own childrenDO come less expensive than lab monkeys, so it makes perfect sense. So anyhoo, Lydda moves on to earlier that day... And today, even Rokk rejected me! We're THROUGH Lydda! ROKK! Please...! I've another night off-- have we a date? NO! YOU'RE going on a mission! And I'M too much of a lazy bastard to offer to come with you! I have a JOB to do-- and you should respect that! Who could respect you in that Mike Grell outfit? You look like a stupid frelling WHORE. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to find someone new to have sex with! -------------------- Visit the FULL FRONTAL FANDANGO & laugh along with Lash at http://lashlaugh.wordpress.com/ Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged |  MLLASH bite into the all-caps posted                       Her tale of female heartbreak concluded, Night Girl rises into the sky... Hey! Don't you think you should rest a while longer? No time, Shady! I'm going after those 3 thugs again-- ALONE! Far be it for me to stand in her way or offer to help again. I think I'll go to the 9 Planets Ice Cream Parlor! Yumm! -------------------- Visit the FULL FRONTAL FANDANGO & laugh along with Lash at http://lashlaugh.wordpress.com/ Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged |  MLLASH bite into the all-caps posted                       Meanwhile, Rokk has indeed found someone new to have sex with! We join the scene as Rokk is zipping up his pants... Isn't this a marvelous pic, Cos? HEY! Why are we leaving? Not that I didn't enjoy those amazing things you do with your tongue, Sinde, but it's getting late. I'd better take you home! After Rokk has droped Sinde off at her Sorority House of Space, he takes a walk... That Sinde... always happy as a clam and about as intelligent. It took having sex with a dead lay like her to make me realize how much I miss Lydda... -------------------- Visit the FULL FRONTAL FANDANGO & laugh along with Lash at http://lashlaugh.wordpress.com/ Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged |

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