A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, it was a dark and stormy night... well, to be fair, it was only about 18ish years ago, which I suppose is a long time depending on how you look at it. If one is sentenced to 18 YEARS in prison, it can seem like an eon. If one is given 18 YEARS to live, I suppose it could seem rather short.
Anyhoo, about that galaxy-- I guess it wasn't all THAT far away... it's the same galaxy the LMB inhabits.
But it definitely WAS a dark and stormy night! Well, it was certainly sprinkling at the very least! Actually, to be honest, it was more foggy than anything else.
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Many legends are written and stories told about the eve the two greatest heroes of the planet Testus were born...
Well, to be more accurate, this is the only story ever told about it to the best of my knowledge... and it isn't a very good one either.
And as far as being the "two greatest heroes of the planet Testus" goes... well I'm pretty sure Orphan-Adopter Lass and Feeds-Poor-Folks-Pete might disagree with that.
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Cousins, they were. The lad named Aristotle and the lass named Trish.
Cousins who strayed too far from home on their space-bikes! Cousins who had no choice but to seek shelter from the dense fog by entering a spooky, eerie cave! Cousins who, once inside the cave, wasted no time in playing "Doctor"!
Clumsily groping each other as teenage cousins are wont to do, Aristotle and Trish were said to have heard an unearthly voice in the cave!
By the way, this isn't meant to imply that ALL cousins play "Doctor". But you know how it is when teens get together with their raging hormones and whatnot... sometimes this kind of exploration and curiosity is relatively harmless... as it was in the case of Ari (which he preferred to be called) and Trish.
And that "unearthly" voice? I think it really should be called an untestusly voice. This story doesn't even take PLACE on earth!
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The Cosmic Eunuch Galaxy Guardians of planet OHNO went on to explain to Ari & Trish that they, like other members of the Space Eunuchs Corps, would be granted powers to protect and serve their sector of the galaxy!
They had been chosen to become champions becasue of the fearlessness they had displayed!
Acutally, I heard that it was just dumb luck on Ari & Trish's part... those bug-eyed alien thingies were gonna pick whoever wandered into that cave next to be their champion of the Testus sector.
Ari and Trish vaguely remembered stumbling out of the cave and riding their space-bikes home. But they remembered what happened next with razor-sharp accuracy!
Ari found he could disintegrate the male sex organ in any male sentient with but a thought! And believe me-- you don't wanna hear about HOW he discovered this ability... it ain't a pretty story!
Meanwhile, Trish got the better end of the bargain, as she gained super-strength in her legs, which she found useful for a variety of purposes.
But ultimately, she decided to concentrate on one particular move with her new-found powers in honor of the freaky creeps who gave the powers to her!
And thus-- Penis-Eradicator Lad & Nads-Kicker Lass were born!
Well, actually, they were born several years ago, but you get my drift....
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you're a glutton for punishment Danny Blaine. If it's alright with you guys I'll avoid that story....
From: home sweet home... unless i'm posting from work | Registered: Jul 2003
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