posted
As all long-time (and thus "true") fans of the Legion know all too well, the Cellular Trim Ray was an Adventure-Era gadget. It was a ray that worked better than bulimia, anorexia and excercise combined, effectively eliminating the Legionnaires' unwanted ass-flab without the use of trendy but expensive and nose-corrosive drugs, and without the inconvenience and sweatiness of working out.
Light Lass was shown using it on-panel, but it is strongly implied that the other chick Legionnaires as well as the gay ones used the device on a regular basis.
Now, you true fans know that the Cellular Trim Ray was dismantled once it accidentally caused Bouncing Boy to lose his powers.
My theory is that this added pressure to the Legionnaires to maintain their perfect physiques without the use of a handy ray caused a drastic increase in stress levels.
One such example can be noted during the run of Invisible Kid as leader (see ADV 350-351). Ultra Boy is going to defy a direct order and Invisible Kid resorts to fisticuffs, slugging his long-time pal in the jaw.
Obviously this is an instance of post-CTR stress syndrome (or P-CTR SS), because as a gay Legionnaire, Lyle had so much pressure to have a perfect body but no ray to help him keep it any longer.
posted
Ferro Lad, very aware that other gay Legionnaires once had access to the CTR felt very depressed that not only was he forced to wear a mask to cover his hideous face, he had to keep up a strict work-out routine to maintain those killer abs and rock hard posterior!
Thus, he heroically sacrificed himself to save Superboy, although there is some evidence that all of the P-CTR-SS he was feeling may have made him more apt to do so!
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Actually, there is evidence of the pre-CTR-SS, as shown by Imra's crazy taking over the Legion-ness!
Perhaps the invention of the CTR was a direct result of the Legionnaires saying 'now Imra will always have that great butt and cute bust, and we won't have to worry about her flipping out over that strict workout routine again!'?
Unproven, but a possible theory!
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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quote:Originally posted by MLLASH: Light Lass was shown using it on-panel, but it is strongly implied that the other chick Legionnaires as well as the gay ones used the device on a regular basis.
I take it this means the "Metrosexual" trend is over by 2958....?
posted
"Gay without the ray"? Awesome slogan! I can see this being the slogan for The Advocates of No Altered Legionnaires by Cellular Trim Ray group (or ANAL CTR for short).
cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
posted
quote:Originally posted by MLLASH: Well, the straight guys would never actually admit to using the Cellular trim ray... but I'm sure they did.
They never admitted to owning more hair-care products than the girl Legionnnaires did, either.
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008
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posted
Cellular Trim Ray enthusiast Light Lass must have suffered cruelly from its discontinuation. After all, here we have a heroine whose very name makes it impossible for her to put on even a little extra weight without setting herself up for ridicule. I mean, could you imagine the comments?
"Light Lass? Pffft, more like cellu-Light Lass." - Saturn Girl to her snarky self
"But she's fat, mommy." - random child at a Meet Your Legion function
"Big and Brassy, just the way I like 'um!" - Sun Boy
"Hmmm, maybe we can balance you out with an even higher beehive." - Barber Boy
With this in mind, I contend that by eventually taking up with "Shrinking" Violet, Light Lass was simply compensating for the loss of her one true love, the Cellular Trim Ray.
Registered: Dec 2006
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posted
Interesting how stalwart member Lightning Lad, the quintessential heroic Legionnaire, so easily was hypnotized by Starfinger. Here's a guy who'd been killed and lost an arm--surely he'd be the one Legionnaire to never let his guard down?
I submit that he was in fact completely exhausted, both physically and mentally, from the daily stress of maintaining that lean physique. He could barely make it through meetings without sleeping, let alone not get hypnotized by an arch-criminal.
Perhaps here is our first strait male Legionnaire who once used the cellular trim-ray and yet was forced to stop--and then began to feel the notorious effects of the non-cellular trim-ray workout routine? Obviously he'd be encouraged by the most addicted user of the trim-ray, his sister, Ayla!
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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cleome46
or you can do the confusion 'til your head falls off
posted
Which would have lead to a Lightning Twins After School Special, right?
Saints preserve us!
-------------------- Hey, Kids! My "Cranky and Kitschy" collage art is now viewable on flickr. Drop by and tell me that I sent you.
From: Vanity, OR | Registered: Dec 2008
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posted
Obviously Dirk used it. He used every trick in the book to get girls.
What's interesting is that his fellow Legionnaires likely encouraged its usage. Following the "space fatigue" incident, its obvious that not only addicts like Ayla and Lyle encouraged its use, but Cos, Tenz and other Legionnaires almost killed by crazy-ass Dirk figured: "this guy is on the verge of breaking and its all because he's afraid his abs are getting flabby; Luornu's third 'friendly' personality can't keep taking one for the team--lets slim this guy down!". And it likely saved many lives.
Flash-forward 10+ years when the cellular trim ray was not only destroyed but the Dominator invasion of Earth made sure it was illegal and outlawed and Dirk started having a breakdown again. Is it no wonder he made bad decisions?
From: If you don't want my peaches, honey... | Registered: Sep 2003
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